-The Mistress 10-06-03
Hey sup? it's now wed. and only 8.24 pm yay looked at my truck today and going good if i can get my mom to co-sign i'll have a truck tomorrow. It's an S-10 extreme black fog lamps std cd player 40,801 mi it's cute hopefully i'll have pix up soon. something really scary? i found the male version of me and he lives about an hour and a half away. but anyways imma jet now so talk to yas soon
-The Mistress 10-07-03
hey last time i wrote was the 7th of course it's been almost a week been doin some mad work to the sight almost done too i just have a few more pics to put up n then it will be done unless of course i right something new. anyways still no truck, still in nc and still waiting to leave again. Just maybe my night in shining armour will come rescue me on a black steed and ride me off into the sunset well i guess that's all oh yea a customer called me stupid lol :P well now that's everything no one more thing i've been asked to move to texas. now that's everything peace
-The Mistress 10-13-03
Hey all what is up? ntmh looking at gettin my own apt. umm hopefully drake is going to be 1 of my roommates. yay. wow i'm hooked up with a guy who is good at musik and very hot. so much for that cute lil truck can't afford the damn thing so instead i might be gettin a geo storm white (yes i know it's an ugly colour)still gonna colour scheme it green though. i'm now 19 another yay. but other than that i think that is all my good news oh yea and i might start work in a hotel with my sweetie. now i think that is all.
- The Mistress 10-17-03
Hey all wassup? been awhile i know but alot has happened in the mean time. i got most of my semester at college paid for yay. and i met a really really great guy named renny he reminds me of drake in a lot of ways. i miss drake immensly and drake if ur reading this imma kick ur ass hun. going to the club again friday n hook up with renny n brit. well i guess that is all ttfn.
-The Mistress 10-26-03
Hey ya'll again long time and yet more has happened. renny n i got together to play pool he kicked my ass. we had a great time or at least i did. HIS EYES ARE BLUE a definat plus. i have definatly developed feelings for him but there is no point he leaves in april and is chasin someone else. :( on the other hand met a very interesting someone else saturday night his name is ben and we are supposed to hook up this week to play pool. hopefully i do better with him then i did with renny. Friday night another club night yay more drunk mexicans. anyways work still sucks. The best thing happened today. i have found pictures of drake to put in my scrap book, that may not sound like much to you but it is to me. Have you ever gone through ur life in found ppl who have just made a life altering impact? well if you haven't gotten the hint yet drake is definatly one of those ppl. he made me see what others took years he just loosened me up and made me realize things that i thought i saw he just brought those things to life. i strongly recomend u visit his website n see what he has to say. If on the first page you do not see what took me seconds to see then you are blind. Still vehicle less but my parents just bought a nice truck but i steal it have the time so it don't matter. well i guess i'll see u whenever it is i write again.
-The Mistress 11-05-03
CONFUSED OH SO CONFUSED. went out till like 330 last night with ben we had fun then we got home and talked till like almost five. that was fun. he's going to give me a shoulder rub tonight at the club. talked to renny he's ok with me hanging out with ben. told renny i cared for him, and he was cool with that too. why can't i find a guy like that who likes me back? hey whatever man. katie n brooks are really hitting it off she is a lucky bitch. he's going to treat her really good.i feel a poem coming on. and a sappy one too. kinda. imma post it with my poems when it is finished. anyways imma get ready for work now i guess i'll see you all next week.
The Mistress 11-15-03
Hey back again. Still really confused. i think i like ben but am not sure, so gonna test the waters a lil. i've been told he's all about me. the best news of all? i have a place, i am now part of something. brit and me and katie and renny are a lil crew. lol how odd. but anyways. i think i may have made emma (ben's ex gf) mad because i accidentally called her a whore. i didn't think before i typed and posted. the new saying instead of think before you speak: think before you post. well all i think i'm out like a fat chick in a thong contest. (thanx brit.) oh remember sex is not the question but the answer and F*UCK F*CK F*CK A DUCK, SCREW A KANGAROO, FINGER BANG AN ORANGATANGUE ORGY AT THE ZOO!!!!!!!!! i'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball. PEACE
The Mistress 11-18-03 (2:00 am)
This is sad 2nd journal entry for the day. ben inspired me though. i had decided that ben would be awsome to get to know more but after reading some things i think i may need to back off n give him some space just simply because i really don't feel like being a rebound again. warren was enough. i just.....don't wanna deal with the hassle. if ben and i do end up in a relationship i want it to be easy and as low maintance as possible and that ain't gonna happen if i'm a rebound. oh yea always remember that a crowded elavator always smells different to a midget. Peace
The Mistress 11-18-03 (10:28 pm)
hey sup? this is new huh? don't right this often usually once a week but since i've met new ppl i am actually starting to get a life. yay. went out with ben tonight and met courtney n eric and a whole bunch of new ppl. we had fun and i set off the alarm on his jetta and he's gonna let me drive it YAY!!!!! his jetta kicks ass!!!! it's black with black tint and a wing, it's loud, i love it. i am now known as his whore and mistress sin. that's my porno name. lol finally got to the oasis so i'm happy. wow i'm so happy that i think i have nothing else to say. wow that's rare. and i let him open a door for me i never let ppl open my doors. i wish katie would get online so i can talk to her about it but for now adios muchachos. PEACE
The Mistress 11-19-03
Hey all sup? ntmh goin to hairspray to check out the drag show it's supposed to be funny, but unfortunatly i'm not feeling very funny. still have no car that sux things between me n ben r going good i think but not sure. i'm worried he wants to get a lil more serious than i'm willing to get. not very talkative either. hmm anyways i'm going now ttfn.
The Mistress 11-23-03 (12:30 am)
Hey a second time today i'm on a roll. was supposed to hang out with brit n kate n ben but i do not think this is going to happen. i think he still has a thing for brit despite his testimonies that he doesn't. it just seems like he desires to spend more time with her tonight. maybe i'm being paranoid or maybe my womans intuition is kicking in whatever it is imma find out tonight.
The Mistress 11-23-03 (10:05 PM)
Hey all sup? not too much here. i'm a lil concerned about the interest or lack there of in ben. it's weird online he's like really sweet n all but in person it's like there was no interest at all. we went to 121 tonight and played pool n it was weird. i'm starting to feel some competition. OH well he's still hurtin over emma i think so it's time for me to back off n give him some space. other interesting news? none. lol RENNY CUT HIS HAIR i walked into the pool room i looked at him and said who the fuck is that then he looked up it was crazy. but anyways now that the world knows my excitement for the night imma go eat my pop tarts night ya'll.
The Mistress 11-25-03 (1:00 am)
Hey sup? ntmh. ben and i are officially done. i asked him tonight if i should wait or search more n he said search on. thats sad i was so feelin him. he asked me to go bowling tomorrow but i do not htink i'm going. maybe we'll see. but i really have no good news to talk about so i will go now.
The Mistress 12-04-03 (11:46 pm)
I come bearing good news tonight. i finally got the nerve to make the moves on ben. he took an ice cube from my tongue i know it sounds pathetic but when that happened it was like everyone just dissapeared for that brief moment. We started out at the bowling ally i so wanted to kiss him there but wasn't sure if that was ok so i had to have his ok just to make sure i didn't cross any boundries but yea denny's hit n that was it. then i took an ice cube up his neck n nibbled. i've finally gotten to the point where i'm comfortable with him. i always feel fat n ugly but when i'm around him my confidence increased, n i think it all got taken care of tonight at 121 when he got pissed. i know i'm weird So now i have it in me to keep going even though it may be a while before we hook up if at all, but this stubborn lil chicky is gonna keep trying. RENNY DANCED. he never dances but he did tonight n got a full boob shot from me n brit. i was on one leg n brit was on the other n he leaned back taking both of us with him and he had his face in our boobs it was so funny. anywaysi'm still on a high from the events at denny's up until then the night sucked. well imma go see if i can turn ben on ttfn.
n remember to the world you are one person but to one person you are the world. n my lil crew is my world (ben renny brit kate n drake.)
The Mistress 12-6-03 (2:43 am)
I haven't written here in over a month? now ur probably thinking a lot has happened in that month but not really. things have progressed between me and ben but still not to the point of a relationship, peter is coming down in feb i hope, or at least he's talking about it, drake and i had talked about moving in together and hooking up but that is looking bleak, i went and got my school paid for and i start today i'm not sure if that is good or bad but ben paid like 121 dollars for his used book while all my new ones cost 300 all together. that lil bastard won't talk to me this morning either lol. i might have found a roommate too. my first class is math and that's just skippy considering i suck at math, but renny is going to help me ( thank you renny so much). i think i am religious now but i do not really have a religion ya know? just one of those where am i type deals. i have been questioning it for a bout a year now, and when one of my co workers passed i practically woke up one morning and said yes there is a god. i'll have to talk to mike about that one. still holding two jobs.oh yea had to reboot my system so now i have to go through and get all my old pics back so they show up on here. lol
i need ya'll to remember this one thing for me. without dreams life is absolutely pointless so live as if you'll die today but dream as if you'll live forever. peace out
The Mistress 01-06-04 (6:50 am)
Wow a lot has happend since january 6th. school's going good, math is bullshit it's arithmatic basically, adding and subtracting and converting decimals. talk about feeling stupid, shouldn't say much, in this class there are ppl who make me look super smart. lol while at school i met this great guy named tyler and he's helping me with my workout. wich is great he's a real sweetheart but he has one flaw: a gf but she may be moving to tallahasee fla so sall good. went to a super bowl party with tyler, that was great we beat each other up over who would win and of course the patriots won. booya baby told ya'll they would (for my ppl down here who keep track on the site and for the ones up in maine.) then monday peter told me he loved me. wich is cool cause that's what i've been wanting to hear. then the next day charlie a guy in michigan whom i've been talking to since i've moved down here said i could go to cali with him and that's cool because i've always wanted to go there and i love the kid right to death, peter kinda asked me to go to oregon with him wich is cool cuz i also love him right to death (sorry danielle go find someone else's man to steal you tramp.) then tyler pretty much told me i should go to charlotte. at this point i don't know what i want. yes i've gotta let the ppl here go, but do i go someplace that i've always wanted to go and that would make me happy or do i go with someone i love and be happy? it's weird that no matter how i explain it it's not going to come out right so imma quite that while i'm ahead. on a good note i finally have a car, it's a '93 geo storm with 133 g's on it. imma take before and after shots of the work i have done to it. payin 800 bucks for the thing. hopefully it will be in my driveway thursday or friday. peter never came down in feb. but he's talking about coming down in the last few weeks of march. charlie may even be comeing down and spending the summer with me if i get my own place wich is looking good a girl i work with put in her notice on her apt so we're gonna look for one because it doesn't look as if david is coming and i'm not gonna play games with these guys. and ben if you have no desire to speak with me you better fucking tell me instead of having ur damn whores do it for you (if it was courtney i talked to earlier sorry dear) i like her she's kick ass. anyways i'll ttyl gonna go watch jeepers creepers 2 now. speaking of movies tyler came over and we watched underworld last night it was great. we spent the whole night wrestling i had so much fun, and after the super bowl he drove me home and he showed up in a storm when the roads were slick to make sure i got home ok. thank you t. he's great but the whole gf thing is a turn off lol. alright final thought for the night
god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can , and wisdom to know the difference.peace out ya'll.
The Mistress 2-7-04 (11:20 p.m.)
Hey ya'll sup? haven't been here in almost two months. well tyler and i are non compatible. But i met brian and he's kick ass to chill with, he's 30 with two kids and does great massage work. The problem? well not really a prob but could be if i were to hook up with brian? Charlie's coming down (oh look i will call you squishy, you will be mine, you will be my squishy. hey love ich liebe dich (and yes in the text i always use it (this is the one exception i'm being a dumbass.)) And with charlie coming down if i were to hook up with brian i would do something with charlie and destroy a lot of good things. My comp is being a bitch though every time i turn around to do some essay or type here or put things up on my website it crashes. i'm so tired and excited for april. goin up to look at a college, and get him and visit with him for a lil. but right now i'm really pissed cuz of this damn comp, so imma put this away right now and work on it later.
The Mistress 3-27-04 (12:11 am)
Hey i haven't been here in almost 2 months. tons have happened since i was last here. charlie isn't coming down i'm going up there but i have to get my car fixed first. it's a 92 geo storm and it's black. i had a cv joint blow on it so i gots to get that done. i didn't do so hot in school, but that's ok i'll kick ass next year. Hopefully i'll have my own apt so charlie can come down and stay whenever he likes. i have to finish another semester down here due to bills popping up so that sux. it's just really really weird how far we've come in such a short amount of time. reading each other's minds, finishing sentences, saying the same things at the same time, and the funniest part knowing what teh other one means when noone else does. it's really weird to have a place where noone judges you or anything for once i actually do feel complete. he gave me new musical taste. cradle of filth. and he got me into bondage. and we're planning on moving to ohio then either alaska or cali i'm not sure which that boy changes his mind every time he turns around. (not really it just sounded good) anyways. we're gonna have a hand fasting ceremony. and we recite lines outta finding nemo all the time. we're just really really wierd but it's all good. on a sadder not i can't get a hold of drake. he has moved back to newport and noone has a number. Drake if you get to the point where you can read this you have an open invitation with me. my house is ur house. (yes charlie same goes for you dumbass. i can't beleive you even thought that you didn't lol)anways. goin to goth night the 28th up to a club in asheville which is cool. i'm really hoping that charlie is down here for fetish night up there that would just rock. anyways i think i have all my news for tonight so i'll talk to you all laterz. peace.
The Mistress 5-20-03 ( 4:47 am)
GODDAMN PREPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEATH TO THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! well still don't feel any better. appearantly just cuz i'm a goth or freak i'm insecure and fake. and i got told this by my friend or someone i thought of as a friend. and of course me being goth and accepting everyone before i judge he was a prep. today he accused me of doing things to fit in and he knows thats bullshit. if i'm so damn insecure how can i dress to the point that ppl look at me funny and laugh and giggle when i walk by. how is that insecure? you'd think that if i was insecure i wouldn't be goth i'd be prep. it's a well known fact that preppies can't handle the goth and freak lifestyle. i have been accused of being fake due to my beliefs in vampyrism and letting ppl drink my blood. we're strong enough to have alternate realities. we know the difference. we hate the things we hate like preps because of bad experiences. religion is the same thing. in fact i think it's time to update my front page. so imma go do that and relieve some more aggression. oh btw baby i can't wait to see you in august. and i have a roommate his name is steven and yes he's a vampyric freak so get the hell over it!!!!
The Mistress 6-23-04 (1:20 p.m)
