Fingers grip the wheel
of a vintage black Jaguar. The XWF headquarters sits in front
of the headlights, rain pittering away on the windshield.
Through the tinted windows, a long haired vixen can be seen
in the driver's seat, staring directly forward at the building
she used to refer to as 'home'. A deep sigh comes from her
ruby lips, a cigarette between them exhausts a cloud of smoke
with her deep exhale.
A small crowd of people near the security entrance of the
XWF HQ can be seen slowly making their way to the suspicious
vehicle. The engine revs, and the Jag closes in on the secuirty
The rent-a-cop knocks on the window. Some photo-journalists
and other paparazzi close in around the officer, along with
Steve Sayors. The window rolls down, that stale cloud of smoke
rolling into their faces.
Sayors: Kitten? OH MY GOD! GUYS! GUYS!
A flood of people rush the side of the car. The rentalcop
ushers her forward while speaking into a walkietalkie, the
crowd following the bumper of the Jaguar. The bulk of the
crowd wasn't able to penetrate the security the first officer
radioed ahead for, but a few paparazzi along with Sayors waited
eagerly outside Kitten's cardoor.
do I REALLY want to go through with this?"
Kitten grabbed her purse, and clutched the door handle. With
a hard shove of the door, the edge cracked Sayors right in
Kitten: "Oh, Sayors! I didn't see
you there. What a pleasure to see you haven't changed.....
still can't refrain from touching your balls when I'm around,
Sayors looked up with
tearful eyes. Nothing more than an 'eep' sound escaped him,
before the gagging commenced. As Kitten stepped out of the
vehicle, her large bulbous frame became the only thing anyone
noticed. All the while she ame into the parkade she could
already hear the questions being shouted through her window.....
and as she spoke to Steve Sayors...... but once she stepped
out, everything became silent.
A spokeswoman for the local paper spoke:
"Kitten! What happened to you!?"
Kitten grimaced, and rolled her eyes.
"Are you Fucking KIDDING me? What does it LOOK like,
Pam Anderson? That I took a fat load from Tommy Lee, doesn't
Kitten slammed the
door to her Jag, and flicked the alarm button over her shoulder.
Kitten: "Sayors, get my shit out
Sayors had slightly recovered, and was excited to get the
first interview on Kitten - he followed orders. He opened
the trunk she had popped open automatically, and was stunned
to find way more shit in the car than he could handle.
"Uh.... yeah, right away."
She stepped through the doors and entered the XWF office.
'Jesus, there are so many new faces,' she thought.
There were a few gawking stares, a lot of silence, and then
murmurs as she passed the office and down the corridor to
her old locker room. Sayors clammored in half a mile behind,
lugging in half the contents of her car as best as he could.
The bags hit the wall, knocking over every single champion
picture that hung from them as he made his way down. A few
locker room doors flew open, the heads of a few superstars
who lingered around HQ poking about to see wtf was going on.
Steve Sayors purposely fell ito the door of Steve Jason's
locker room. "Man, I sure hope
you're in there...... you're never going to believe this..."
As Kitten approached her old locker room door, she could hear
gothic techno music sputtering a horrid screeching tune.
"Who the FUCK is in my locker-room?"
Kitten kicked the door open, a few randown people running
out. Black Widow sat on her luxury coccoon chair, a look of
utter shock on her face. "Oh my
Kitten: "Yeah, I get that a lot.
Don't you have a life?"
BW smiled, hopping off her chair. She trotted over to Kitten,
wrapping her arms aroud her. "OH,
I've missed you!.... " Widow noticed a very large
belly in the way of hugging her long time friend. "Uh....
Kitten: "Don't start."
"You're ...... spawning.... now?"
Widow's face looked contorted, and dissapointed. Kitten
sighed, making her way into the room. Sayors bashed his way
into the room behind her, immediatley dropping her bags.
Sayors: "Okay, so let's get staerted,
we have A LOT to talk abou--....." Widow grabbed
Sayors by the shoulders, escorting him quickly out the room.
"You'll get your interview, bitchboy.
Go suck someone off and we will get RIGHT back to you. Where
can we find you? The little boys' room? Adian Collins office?
Yeah, thanks..." SLAM wet the door in the face
of Sayors, who ran off back to Steve Jason's locker room.
He continued down the corridors knocking on all the old superstars'
doors, screaming of Kitten's return. Black Widow turned around,
looking once again at the VERY pregnant Kitten.
"So what the HELL happened to you?"
Kitten sat on BW's coccoon chair, crossing her legs in front
of her indian-style. She rested her elbows on her knees and
sighed. "Do I have to go through
this with EVERYONE around here? Has no one seen a pregnant
Black Widow: "I've seen a pregnant
woman before. I have seen a pregnant cat before. I've seen
that movie where Arnold Schwar-za- whatever played a pregnant
MAN. What I have NEVER seen.... or rather what I thought I
WOULD NEVER SEE..... is my bestest best friend in the world
back at the XWF.... sitting in my chair... and looking like
Kitten noticed the irony of the position she was in, and uncrossed
her legs. "So what, everyone thinks
that I was NOT a promiscuous woman? Come on, B. It was only
a matter of time...."
Black Widow(Bianca) nodded in agreement. "So
who's the baby-daddy?"
Quickly, Kitten answered with a flighty tone:
"Shawn. My fiance."
BW nodded. "Uh-huh. I see. Okay,
we can talk later about this.... where have you been?"
Yet another subject Kitten did not want to go into. nearly
7 years had passed, and she did not want to sit and fill Bianca
in on over half a decade of bullshit. "Let's
put it this way. I've lived another 50 lives in the past few
years. I couldn't tell you what has happened to me over all
these years without having someone here to type up a book
about it. Everything from cocaine, to Oprah, that's all I
have to say."
Bianca blinked. "You were in Chicago?"
Kitten couldn't help but smile. "Oh,
LAWRD. Forget it, Bianca. I've been all over the world. I
did EVERYTHING. All I know is now I am ready to come home.
I am ready to start a family. I am prepared to come back to
what is left of my career." Kitten stood, wrapping
her arm around Bianca. "And most
importantly, to my best friend."
Bianca glistened, uber estatic to hear Kitten finally say
the words she wanted to hear since their very beginning together.
BW wrapped both her arms around Kitten, hugging her tightly.
The baby moed inside Kitten's womb, kicking outward to heed
Bianca's pressure. Bianca stepped back quickly,
"Oh my gawd, I'm sorry!"
Kitten grasped her stomach firmly. She moved both sides of
her stomach rapidly, as though she was a shoe-shiner and the
baby was a loafer. "Look, shaken-baby
Black Widow burst out laughing, Kitten stopping the action
to fling her hand at her. "Don't
worry about it. If I freaked out everytime he kicked, I would
have been locked up again. Just don't ask me a thousand questions
about it. It is the worst thing about being pregnant... everyone
asking you every question in the book from 'How far along
are you?' and...'Do you have an innie or outtie?' and....blah,
blah BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am TIRED OF IT. I am tired of people
touching my belly like it is a teacup puppydog and making
baby noises at me. I DETEST shit like that. This isn't Tom
Cruises' kid.... or Branjelina's clan..... I'm NOT FUKIN'
Maddonna. Ugh, I swear people forget that I used to carry
a bullship, and oe HELL of a grudge."
Bianca blinked. "Oh...kaaaay. So.
Where is Shawn?"
Kitten sulked, "Yet again, something
else I do not want to talk about. I haven't seen him in two
weeks.... he used to call me everyday. Like.... twenty times
a day. I call his cellphone, and all I get is his voice mail."
Kitten sat at Bianca's vanity, straightening out her hair
and make-up. Bianca lay sprawled in front of Kitten's belongings
on the floor, poking away at the contents of each box and
suitcase. She happened upon a small cooler, cold to the touch.
Bianca smiled, tapping on it's roof. "....For
Kitten smiled, "Yes,
I didn't forget you at all."
A squeal of happiness seeped through Bianca, as she tore open
the lid, and grabbed the cold paper bag inside. 'Never fails,'
Kitten thought. Just as she had alost 15 years ago, this gothic
queen digged pig hearts. Bianca tore through the packaging
like she was a child on Christmas morning, jamming the bloody
and VERY rare pig heart between her teeth. She ate it hungrily,
noises of an inhuman nature following each bite.
Kitten: "Wow, has it become a delicacy
With a mouthful, Bianca rearked, "Yeah....
*gulp*.... the XWF sill had to abide your contract..... everything
that was ever yours was still yours, there is even a few things
about future ontract agreements and stuff I have heard about.
When you left, Wannabe and Killjoy arranged it so I could
stay, kinda like your benefactor.... maintain the Kitten franchise....
butthey don't feed me. And business has been slow."
Bianca continued to munch down the bloody organ, happily dancing
with her toes. Kitten focused again on her appearence in the
mirror, smilig, picking her teeth, frowning, stretching her
frownlines in the corners of her mouth. "Am
I starting to look old?"
Bianca looked up, shoving
the last bite into her mouth. "Who
the fuck are you trying to-" A piece jumped out
of her mouth, landed on the floor, where she picked it back
up and put it into her mouth. "Trying
Kitten grimaced again, and sighed. ".....
Nobody...?..... I just thought I would pay Steve a visit....
it has been so long."
Bianca coughed on the piece, hitting herself in the chest.
"Steve? Like.... Steve JASON? Are
you SERIOUS? That guy NEVER liked you, let alone could stand
you, I think. From what I could tell he MOVED ON a LOOOoOong
time ago, and so should you. He's been happy without you,
you should move on too. You're engaged, don'tcha know?"
Kitten turned away from the mirror and faced Bianca. Her face
contorted, "Who the FUCK do you
think you are talking to? Christ! Give you a little string
ad you take off with my whole ball of yarn. First of all...
YES. I AM engaged. But that doesn't take away YEARS that I
embarrassed myself over SJ. I owe him A LOT of apologies....
and.... well... he's still so pretty."
Bianca dropped the contents in her hands back into one of
the boxes Kitten brought in. "OH
GEEZ, really, Lillith! Please stop doing this to yourself!"
Kitten smiled, pushing her shoulders back.
"Calm down, spitfire. Fuck, I can still think he is .....
incredibly handsome... Just trust in me that I LOVE my man
with all of my heart. But there was a piece I left here with
SJ..... and I cannot take that back. If anything, I have to
at least SEE him... make sure he is doing well.... that we
are friends... you know. Whatever."
Bianca rolled her eyes. "Riiiiiight.
It ain't gonna end there, I can know that for sure. So what,
are you gonna go see him now, then?"
Kitten perked up a little, snd stood. Fluffing her hair again,
she smiled and pushed her breasts out a little. "Yeah,
I suppose better now, than later."
Bianca laughed, pointing
to Kitten's chest. "All that primping
and perculating must've got mother nature wanting to feed
Kitten looked down, her shirt soaking wet. She was lactating.
Her face flushed, and she ran into the bathroom. "Oh
my friggin GOD! Just what I need, 'Hey, SJ..... been a long
time..... may I drown you in my baby juice? UGH!"
Bianca continued laughing from the opposite side of the door,
opening it enough to hand another shirt to Kitten. Kitten
put the shirt on, and looked in the mirror. Not only did her
big Christmas-bulb gut hang out of the bottom of her shirt
like a fat man at a buffet, but her belly button protruded
out like the button to induce labor. Kitten angrily tore the
shirt off, yelling back through the door. "Could
you get me one from MY bag and not one of your Little Shop
of Horror streetwalker numbers? MAN!"
Kitten emerged from the bathroom, wearing a maternity shirt
that read 'Good things come to those who mate'. No matter
the toll on her body from the pregnancy, she was still stunning.
She walked towards the door, her hand outstretched to the
doorknob..... and then her cellphone rang.
She answered, "Hello?"
A familiar voice echoed back from the other end,
"Well, well. I am glad you finally decided to answer
Kitten's face mirrored disgust once again, and she flopped
down on a chair.
Kitten: "WHAT do YOU want?"
????: "What is rightfully mine. My first son. OUR son....."
Kitten: "Yeah, okay.... whatever
you say you backstabber. I will ask only oe more time; WHAT
DO YOU WANT?"
The voice laughed, then returned. "You
talk that way to me, and I can make your life a living hell.
You have't been around for me to know it, but it is in my
bones that my baby boy is coming SOON. And SO. AM. I."
Kitten closed her eyes, pushing back the tears that begged
to be released. "Is that all?"
Kitte sat motionless for a moment, Bianca sitting in utter
shock. "What the hell was that
Kitten: "Oh Jesus, you do NOT want
to know. I.... don't want to know. You just have NO IDEA."
Bianca: "No, I don't..... what,
this kid isn't Shawn's? I thought you told me it was Shawn's?
What is going on, Lil? WHO was THAT?"
Kitten shook her head, drying the corners of her eyes with
her fingertips. "I can't even talk
Her phone rang again. She answered it,
Shawn:"......... So we don't speak
in over a week and the first thig you say to me is "WHAT"?"
Kitten recoiled, "I'm sorry, baby.
I just... I..... ugh..... I am back at the XWF. I didn't know
what to do without you, so I had to go make some money somehow.
I felt lonely, so I came to see Bianca...and I-"
Shawn: "Well this makes COMPLETE
sense. 'Make some money'.... HOW!? By wrestling? You're fucking
PREGNANT! With what is supposed to be OUR son! Now I see how
you're going to 'make money'. No wonder I got this fuckin'
Kitten: "What are you talking about?"
Shawn: "You tell me you lying bitch!
I got some dude with a slinky ass voice on my answering machine
telling me that I am not your baby's FATHER! ALL THIS TIME
YOU HAVE BEEN LYING TO ME!!!??? WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU????
Didn't I tell you WHAT WOULD HAPPEN???? I am not another one
of your FUCKIN LOVETOYS LILLITH!"
Kitten burst out crying, "Baby!
Stop! I don't know what you are talking about.... BABY! Listen
He hung up on her. Something in the air had people hanging
up on Kitten today. Bianca braced for something to get broken...
or a cellphone to be thrown through the air... SOMETHING.
But Kitten just sat. Staring straight ahead, tears glistening
in her eyes.
Black Widow: "Lillith?.........
Honey.....? Are you okay....?"
Kitten stood, drying the tears from her eyes, and silently
walked out the door.