.................."Yes, Dr. Ray Castillo,
for Steve Jason? ..........I understand that, ma'am, but I must
get through to him. I did not call long distance to Los Angeles
with vital information to have you tell me he is rejecting any
calls regarding his co-workers. You can either patch me through
to his most available phone and save me a lot of trouble, or
I could take even more dramatic measures to getting this message
to him.....yes..... thanks."
A phone call. A phone
call completely out of the ordinary for Dr. Castillo. But he
had made a breakthrough. After examining case file after case
file, and hoarding through every inch of Lillith Rosemary Groves,
he had found her big secret. One he understood she never wanted
to let out. One that many should have figured out before. He
knew it may not have mattered to Steve Jason in the end, especially
after 'Kitten's' attack on his friends and life in general.
He only hoped in sake of his most complicated patient, he would
find some understanding in what was happening. And if not try
and help her, then.....
"'Ello, you've reached
my answering machine. Sorry I'm not available to take your call.
Please leave a brief message after the beep, and I will get
back to you as soon as I can......BEEP"
The saliva left Dr. Castillo's
mouth, drying up as quick as the 'beep' sounded. He cleared
his throat quickly, hoping to find some composure, trying to
keep from yelling into the receiver for this strange man to
help his patient. He knew nothing about Steve Jason... only
of his encounters with Lillith, her 'obsession' with him....
and his hatred to her now, thanks to an orderly who was absolutely
obsessed with wrestling, and kept him up to date on the latest
'promos' from the XWF.
I am Dr. Rey Castillo of the Shady Oaks Asylum. I thought it
may be important to let you know, that Lillith Groves has escaped.
But it's not that I am worried she will be going after anyone.
I know your concerns well enough from the television. It may
be advisable that you keep your loved ones under protection,
but as I said, I don't think that will be the problem. You know
if Lillith wants to get them, she can. But I called to tell
you something important.... something about Lillith that may
help her fight... whatever is wrong with her. You know she is
ill, and more violence to her psyche would cause her to fall
only deeper into herself. What - what I am trying to say is,
Mr. Jason..... she is about to implode. And it isn't exactly
all her fault for her actions. She has... lapses into these
things. And it can't be controlled. She's.... got some secrets
about her. Some I feel I have unmasked for what they already
are. I could elaborate, but these messages can't last long.
All I will say, is that she has a severe problem with male ...
especially those in authority, or with superiority to her. I
think this is why she had her first instinct to come to you
in the first place. And sometimes, just as any heart does, it
will reach out. Especially hers, who hasn't been able to have
a male be a positive attribute in her life. I'm guessing, with
your rejections, something inside her got out of control.....
I wish I could explain more. If you dare to hear her case, for
what ever purpose you desire, you have my name and my place
of work. Give me a call...."
Before much more could
escape his lips, the message machine beeped. Castillo hung the
phone up reluctantly, hanging his head. He placed one aged hand
against his troubled, aching head......
Late afternoon light
filled the hotel room, as Lillith awoke in a mild daze in the
arms of 504 Boy. At first, she had no idea where the hell she
was. She almost jerked out of bed when she saw a male hand draped
over her side, but then it hit her.... and she needed to escape
again. As she looked around, she was stunned to see the many
red roses that were about the room, arranged and organized.
They were beautiful. Beside her, lay a small black kitten, wrapped
up in a ball, purring. She smiled, almost disbelieving that
504 Boy had done this for her. She slipped quietly and almost
soundlessly from the grasp of 504 Boy, tip-toeing to a small
red duffel bag 504 Boy had set on a chair beside the small table
by the door. She unzipped it slowly, so no noise would reach
504 Boy's ears. She saw a pair of tear-away pants, and an old
sweater. Beside his bag, Kitten noticed a small crate-box beside
it. Curiosity caught her, as she opened the box slowly. Inside,
by coincidence, were her items from her box back at Shady Oaks.
Apparently, when 504 Boy found her whereabouts, he came, took
her and her things, and vanished into thin air. She reached
inside, and pulled out her few necklaces, putting her skull
ring on her middle finger. She clipped two ball earrings into
her lobes, watching 504 Boy sleep soundly. He hadn't stirred
since she left his side, even as the floor squeaked lightly
under her tip-toes. She even had a few messages. Two phone numbers
scribbled on a piece of paper, a small black kiss on the corner.
Bianca had come to see her, leaving her something she knew she'd
need eventually. Black Widow always knows, and Lillith's deep
bond with her had a special code.... they knew what they were
thinking, without even thinking it. At the bottom of the box,
lay a letter. Lillith picked it up, and examined it closely.
"You know who it's from."
"Actually I have no idea."
"Ha, ha, ha. Don't play games with
me. You know that I sent him a letter before we ended up...
HERE. It is only common courteousy to reply..."
Lillith shoved the paper
angrily into the pocket of her sweater, and grabbed up the few
other items. She tip-toed again to the door..... placing a note
on the table beside the bed before her leave....
I don't mean
to leave so abruptly, without your knowing. You look beautiful
when you sleep. Thank you for caring for me. You will see me
soon. I have.... something wrong with me. I am going to go fight
it. You can't be involved, I'm afraid I might hurt you. I'm
afraid what I will do to anyone in a 5 - mile radius of me.
Please understand I'm not wanting to hurt you.
Lillith looked at the
paper, a feeling of guilt consuming her body. She didn't want
to leave. There was something different about 504 Boy. Something
really different. It wasn't at all like anyone else she had
ever taken interest in. Her ex fiancé was a power deal.
She fell in love with his power, and he forced her to keep on
loving it. His manipulations and conniving candor had driven
her to the edge..... and she killed his new girlfriend, leveled
his federation, and left him in her dust. She had only a couple
other interests since then, one was an infatuation, really.
IOMAC had been a father to her unborn child before The Criminal,
her ex fiancé, threw her over a guardrail 20 feet to
her demise. She felt different about IOMAC, but still felt that
in the end, it was only an infatuation. An envy, for a man to
take away her pain.
...But she realized,
the only one to take it away, was herself.
Leon Williams, one called
Spike.... was a change into a different territory. He had shown
her wonderful things, and treated her like a queen. But in her
true times of need and desperation, it was a constant struggle,
than a fall into the bed, where afterwards - she always felt
incomplete. No one completed her. Some thought she had always
screwed around, having intercourse with anything with an appendage.
But it was false, and it didn't matter what they thought, but
she had only been with three men intimately in her life. One,
she was married to, one she was going to marry, and another
who she tried to force herself to love, trying to see if forcing
herself into happiness would 'take it all away'. She always
regretted giving herself up to those men. Every last one. Now
that she had finally realized what it was going to take to be
happy - and it didn't involve any man. It is something she should
have done from the beginning. It was herself that caused it
all. Everything. Everything in her life, she could have changed.
If she would have listened to her heart. And now, a woman she
created in her mind.. one that she thought would never suffer,
and bring her the greatest joy.... was torturing her with sadness,
the constant reminder of her guilts, and all the tremulous
past that brought her to the knife, every single time.....
am so sorry, love. I can't express how sorry I am that you cannot
be a part of my life right now. I want you to, god knows I want
touched a heart-locket she had worn around her neck since her
mother had given it to her when she was nine. She unsnapped
the back of it with one hand, and laid it on the desk.
a part of me.....
you, for the presents. I will be back for the kitty.
She looked over to 504
Boy who still slept so soundlessly on the bed they had shared
that night. She had figured in her vulnerable state, he would
have tried to take advantage of her. But as a pure gentleman,
there was only... warmth. A warmth that she could still feel
all over her.... unfreezing her heart. It had been broken so
many times, that she had put it into permanent cry-freeze, hoping
someday she could get to mending it without letting it spoil.
But last night, it started patching itself... warming... beating...
she picked a full bloomed red rose from a vase, and touched
it to her lips. She smelled the beautiful aroma, taking a piece
f a petal into her mouth, to suckle on it's beauty for just
a moment.. to savor it's beauty. She smiled slightly as she
knelt beside the bed, running the petals across 504 Boy's lips.
He moved slightly, smiling, as he stretched one hand under the
pillow. He yawned slightly, his morning breath catching Lillith
off guard. She smiled bigger, laying the flower on his chest.
She touched his arms softly, and padded her feet out of the
It was time to face her
most ultimate enemy......
She had called Bianca.
Black Widow was the only one who had helped her, the majority
of her sufferings. Black Widow even had some news for her, apparently.
She was worried about Lillith, naturally. She had attempted
to see her at Shady Oaks, but her appearance had shocked the
staff, giving them the excuse that 'her appearance would scare
the other patients, and wouldn't be a positive influence on
helping Lillith through this 'trying time' '. It was bullshit,
and Bianca had gotten wordy with a staff member, forcing her
to place the papers she brought into a special 'drop-box' for
Lillith. Lillith had drove almost 50 miles out of her way to
catch up with Bianca at a small diner, in a hick-town close
to San Francisco, California. She needed to get back to her
own small place in the San Fernando Valley, located about two
miles from downtown Los Angeles. She ached for her home she
had purchased from a bargain-based network, where homes taken
from the government operated a deal with Lillith for a cute
three-story villa on a bluff, overlooking the Los Angeles area.
She could see Hollywood in one direction, Venice Beach in another,
and the skyscrapers of downtown the other. Boxes still sat in
her living room with ceiling high-windows... she had so much
unfinished work. But this..... this has been unfinished since
the day she could remember walking out of Iowa....
Bianca sat across from
her, her sparkling engagement ring almost mocking Lillith. She
ignored it, looking into Bianca's heavily-make-up-blotched eyes.
They were still beautiful underneath the liner and mascara.....
the Bianca she always knew, there.... in the glossy black of
can't believe 504 Boy took you out of there."
"I couldn't believe
Lillith said, her eyes fixed now out the window. A pause crossed
between Bianca and Lillith, just as it had several times throughout
the already hour-long conversation. Bianca extended her hand,
"There are things
happening.... things you won't like. I understand what you are
going through... but ... whatever... it is that is messing with
your head... it screwed with a lot of people in the XWF. I didn't
know if you wanted to see it...."
"I have to."
Bianca sighed, "Yes.
I brought all the tapes. All the ones I knew would matter."
Bianca paced up her bag,
bringing out three VHS tapes. All labeled "Steve Jason
Promos". Lillith closed her eyes for a moment, taking her
gaze away from the rectangular boxes that no doubt had venom
sitting in each davit, waiting for Lillith to reach out and
touch.. to permanently be drugged with hopeless, crazed sadness.
Lillith recalled what had happened last Anarchy. It was something
that SHE, would have never done. Yeah, she had liked Steve Jason.
Maybe sometimes in her arguments with herself she would do some
embarrassing things in front of him trying to get him to even
smile..... or even go out for a drink. It wasn't much. She didn't
want to 'bone' him. Not at all. She hated sex. She always hated
sex since the day her father....
"Lillith? Are you
Lillith nodded, quickly
snapping back into reality. The reality of it was - Steve Jason
hated her. Wanted her dead. She knew that even before reviewing
the tapes. here was just no way. Lillith could almost feel the
hot air of the angry Steve Jason, looming behind her with a
sword.. her heart stuck on the end of the searing hot blade.
She hated herself. She
wanted to rip herself apart for thinking she had to create a
person she was not, to shield her from things she should have
to deal with. And now... it has taken over. Almost completely.
She knew that RIGHT NOW, Kitten was listening to her thoughts.
She knew everything about Lillith. But Lillith, barely knew
"Thank you, Bianca.
You've been a big help. I'm glad you left me your number, too.
I had a feeling it was yours. But I have to go.. I have things
to do before I catch a flight."
Lillith stood, grabbing
Bianca's load off the table Bianca had given her. Bianca stood,
her look in question and wonder.
"Where are you going?"
"Vacation, I suppose."
She was glad to leave
Bianca, without Bianca asking her all kinds of questions as
to where she was heading. For Lillith knew, that if Bianca knew.....
she would object to it and warn the world before she could step
onto the plane. In fact, there were two places. One more important
than the other.
Lillith drove to her
abode in San Fernando Valley. She played her favorite tunes,
trying to enjoy herself, trying to hope that damned voice didn't
pop into her head. She was happy it hadn't bothered her since
earlier in the day when she left 504 Boy. She wondered what
he had thought when he woke up. She wondered if he had read
the letter, and understood her reasons entirely. Deep down,
she knew he was again looking for her. He was probably in a
frantic search. Or he was sitting in his own thoughts, stirring
and festering the painful thought of not being able to help
her. Maybe he found the rose on his chest, and pressed it to
his smiling lips, remembering his night with her....
Or maybe just like Steve
Jason with their friendship, crushed her flower and spit on
the bed.. cursing hateful words as he threw a fat stack of money
to the staff of the hotel, never looking back.
She stuck the key in
the lock, coming into her living room. The stack of boxes she
had to go through still lay in a corner.... but the arrangement
was beautiful. She must have left the window open, for the long,
silky drapes swung lightly over the hardwood-planked floor.
The breeze caught her with a soft, faint smell of her own perfume....
the same that her mother had worn before she died.
"Was murdered, you mean."
"Ha ha ha, I was just making sure
you knew I was still here."
"Yeah, I knew you would be. Laughing
at my day of freedom, loathing my happiness. I knew you'd sit
back until I really didn't want to hear from you.. and then
you'd come back with your fucking remarks."
"OOooh! Vulgarity. You should learn to watch your mouth.
God is listening, you know."
"Buzz off, fucking sleaze. You've
ruined enough for me. You're jumping ahead of the fight before
the bell has sounded. Plus, I'm not even Christian. I don't
give a damn about cussing."
"Yeah... not a Christian. Even more reason to live life
to it's fullest before you're condemned to hell. Why don't you
just let me take over, and we can get this party started, eh?"
"I don't think so..."
"......ah. I see. You still think you're going to pull
me to our birthplace to kill me off for good, huh?"
".........I'm not listening to you
Lillith's mind shut off
just then, as she reached into her pocket and found the letter
she found back at the hotel. She walked among her tall bookshelves
full of her mother's books, setting another handful of papers
among the books on the glistening mahogany. She sunk onto her
plush, leather couch, laying back against the cushions. She
sighed, feeling this comfortable since the hotel a true blessing.
Long car rides were really a bitch.
She placed her heels
on the glass coffee table, just before the bowl of fruit made
from marble stone. She opened up the letter with a long pinky
nail, plucking the letter from the envelope.
No doubt, it was from
" ... To
that annoying, irritating, greasy, slimy, black-eyeliner-wearing
backstabbing Lucifer-Astaroth-Hell-Hell-Hell-obsessing psycho,
doubt this letter will make it past the people at the mental
asylum that you're currently at, because they know, just as
well as I do, that when you read it, you're gonna start shrieking,
gibbering, attacking people with pencils out of rage... while
at the same time compulsively... ah... stimulating yourself
at the knowledge that Steve Jason actually decided to write
"Ha-ha! Oh, the humor.
get too excited, Kitten... and before you ask, let me make it
clear for you. NO, for the billionth time, I will not let you
ride the Almighty Sting Diesel. Deal with it already.
Lillith was in momentary
shock. She didn't know what to think at all. She figured another
snappy retort from Kitten would fall into place, but she was
amazingly quiet. Lillith fought back the urge to rip up the
letter. She couldn't believe Steve Jason had wrote this. For
a moment, she thought it was a joke. But she remembered what
she did.... what KITTEN did.... to Felicia. How many times Lillith
had given into Kitten's desires... letting Kitten take control
every once in a while. This was her fault. All her fault. And
now, she has to read this letter of hate, for something she
felt she had control over.
I have decided to write to you about is of a different nature.
Thanks for the fifteen minutes of uncontrollable laughter your
letter gave me. It took me a few minutes to get my head around
the whole evil goth-speak crap that was spouting out of your
mouth and onto written word. I hope for your sake it was meant
to be funny. How about you stop lying, Kitten? All that arrogant
punk crap is totally... well, crap. You're pissed off because
of one reason and one reason alone. The fact that Steve Jason
hasn't laid you, and you can't brag to the known world about
it. Because Steve Jason is not your slave, wrapped around your
little finger to do your bidding. Simply... because Steve Jason
actually has half a braincell in his head and sees you for the
seedy bitch you've become...
Lillith cringed. She
set the paper on her lap, as she now fought the urge to cry.
It hurt to hear this come from a man she had respected, admired.....
maybe more. But she hadn't been in thought of him - at least
in THAT context - for quite a while..... but as for Kitten....
she was another story.
..... as opposed
to the person he was actually remotely interested in a few months
OK. I'll give
you a few minutes, because I know you're gonna be pleasuring
yourself after reading that one.
Here we go. Brace yourself, Kitten, and try to keep your hands
somewhere non-dodgy, because this gets hot.
Did you know Stinger actually did have something for you? Yep.
The Avenger sure as hell doesn't... he wouldn't touch you with
a fifty foot pole... but the Stinger did. He had respect for
you, he had admiration for the way you fought against the odds
yet never turned to the 'dark side'... and then you stabbed
him... and me... in the back. You blew it out of the water,
you know. A little time, perhaps... perhaps if you'd stopped
being impatient and demanding him to knob you every five seconds,
you might have got what you wanted. You forget that I was recovering
from Felicia at the time. I hate you now... but I'll be man
to admit that when I was different, and you still had half a
soul left... I did have a soft spot for you. And who knows?
Maybe if you'd focused on something else... as opposed to your
own thirst for domination, greed and pleasure... you might have
She set down the letter
once again, looking to the drapes that waltzed along the floor.
She was in a trance. This letter thus far had been the biggest
shock in her life. But then again, she hadn't been the person
in charge of herself for a long time. Maybe... just maybe....
this was one of those angry letters people tend to regret. But
Lillith was already in regret long before she felt Steve Jason
could feel regret. How could he have liked her... a 'soft spot'
sort of deal? What the hell is he talking about? What kind of
game was he trying to play? How come he had to be the ice-queen
of the XWF. It wasn't HER.. it was HIM! She would nearly embarrass
herself to the point of no return, trying to show a piece of
her she didn't think she had to Steve Jason. Of course, with
Kitten always in the way with the nasty, greedy little thoughts..
it was no wonder Steve Jason thought of her 'obsession' only
as a big, FAT joke.
But now that's
changed. I am in love... with somebody else now.
Allow me to make it clear to you, Lillith Groves. You are the
single most wretched, disgusting creature on the planet now.
I have no idea what made you change.
"Ha ha ha!
It was MEEEEEE!"
Kitten sulked farther
into the couch, holding her head in one had, the letter in the
other. She knew then, that he never got the point. That "Kitten"
had pulled the wool right over his eyes, and he fell for all
her bullshit. He said 'Lillith Groves". She knew it would
take a mind reader to decipher the difference. Because before,
she made it a point to try and be Kitten.. the woman everyone
wanted.. hated... feared or loved. And then, she lost track
of the person she originally was. She doesn't remember how long
it has been since she forgot..... but then, Kitten became her.
A total turn of the tables she wished she could have stopped.
And now, one of the people she's most admired..... was a person
she found she should most fear. But just as sure as the events
that made her who she was...... she wasn't afraid. She was angry.
a way, I wish I could have prevented it happening... because
honestly, Kitten... if I could have saved you from becoming
what you are now... I probably would have done anything to prevent
that. But I hate what you are now... more than anything on this
world. Somehow, you changed. You became nothing more than a
vicious beast, a monster, something that nobody could love.
It's a shame, Kitten... because you were nearly there. It takes
a lot to unfreeze this ice giant's heart... but ya nearly did
"OH HAHAHA! Look at your face, Lillith!
Look! Oh HAHAHAHA! And to think, it was me who did this all.
HAHA. I thought watching Steve Jason fall on his face last Anarchy
was satisfaction..... but ruining everything you set out for....
this, is truly a blessing! Now.. on to the newest fling... 504...."
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Why you chose
to throw it away and turn to the shallow, fatal path of your
own power remains a mystery to me... but I'm lost to you forever.
Know that. Now, I despise you, Kitten, and to be honest, hitting
you with the S3 is going to be the single greatest victory I've
The infamous S3. Lillith's
eyes opened wide, as she realized that it all finally hit bottom.
She had just fallen off the face of the Earth, and dwindled
outside the atmosphere.
"I bet that hurts, don't it? To be
in the same category as Cyren? Bigg Rigg? Andrew Gibson? Mike
X? HAHA.... is it me? Or did you just see Steve step on your
Tears began to steam
down her face.
by God, it's gonna feel so damn good when I finally lift your
battered, bloodied, beaten body up onto the top of that turnbuckle,
lift you up onto my back, then nail you with the S3. It's gonna
be absolute joy to see fear flicker into those crazy eyes of
yours, to see sanity fill your diseased brain right before getting
completely and utterly head smacked. And man, when I place that
boot on your unconscious, defenseless body to get the three-count...
geez, it's gonna be sweeter than sculling a pure-syrup Slushee.
Because you, Kitten, deserve defeat, you deserve the painful
humiliation of crowds laughing at your plans for my defeat falling
into flames... you deserve wishing you were anywhere else on
the planet but in that ring... more than anybody I know.
The tears didn't stop......
they grew bigger by the droplet.....
screw Gibson, screw Mike X. If there's one person who I'm gonna
love disemboweling with my bare hands... it's you.
Life just had no meaning.
It was it. There was no enemy greater than Kitten to Steve Jason.
Lillith felt Kitten laughing. Laughing so hard, she felt her
own gut busting. But it wasn't her stomach breaking......
then there's your little tyranny. Your little inner circle that
you form to destroy the true wrestlers of the XWF. 'No Prigg'
John Gimpino, Andrew 'The Tool' Gimpson, Jen Skankson-Cortiskankis,
and her on-again, off-again husband, the Extreme Wanker. It's
nothing, Kitten. None of those guys can last against my squad.
My Diamond Era is superior to your tyranny. And I intend on
proving that to you once and for all. This is the final confrontation,
Kitten. If... when... I defeat you, whatever threat you posed
to my locker room comrades are over. Don't think you can't avoid
it, either. Each and every one of this team is superior to you.
Centurion can mop the damn floor with the Extreme Wanker. Heather
Halliwell has already proven that she's a far greater wrestler
than Jen Skankson-Cortiskankis... who I'd like to add is nothing
more than S3-bait after that pin I pulled over her on Anarchy...
and Kitten, you better damn well believe I can beat you. I've
pinned your precious lapdog Bigg Rigg... who you have the infamous
ability of being unable to beat... eight times. I've beaten
Jon Page... who you once again can't beat... three times. You
won the Universal title against Jason bloody Cash... and even
then it took a hell of a lot of effort. I've beaten Cash with
injuries... and I won the Universal title both times in near-unwinnable
conditions. And if it weren't for me, Kitten... if it weren't
for Shuriken... you wouldn't even be in that position of power
you have now. Because Jem would have ripped you limb-from-limb.
I just hope Jem can forgive me. Because the man's the best friend
I have here in the XWF... and you're nothing but a trashbag
skank who lives for her own pleasure.
And then it ended. All
the hope she had... the hope, that Steve Jason had hope for
her. Lillith grew furious with the thought of Kitten allying
with two men that had tried to kill her. Andrew Gibson was a
nothing. A fat, pathetic, sloppy bastard who didn't deserve
to hold the Hart Title. He didn't deserve to even walk in the
presence of Lillith, who obviously now was lower than dirt.
Bigg Rigg... oh god, how Lillith loathed that man. Nothing but
pessimistic bullshit flowing right out his ass. Thinking just
because he is forgiven, he's got some bag against the world
that would hold up in court. Imagine, Bigg Rigg standing in
front of the judge, being tried for murder. "I couldn't
help it, Mr. Judge, sir! I was just... ANGRY!" What an
idiot. And Extreme Warrior? Jen Jetson? She wouldn't have ANYTHING
to do with these people! What the HELL was going on? Why was
Kitten dumping all these powerful people and going for low card
scum? If Kitten wanted power, she would have stuck with SJ.
Lillith knew SJ was powerful. Even these cowards were powerful.
So powerful... that she knew wherever SJ was in the city....
he still had his hand wrapped around her heart.... breaking
it like a iced-beer bottle on a rock. Frozen.. shattered....dripping
with sin. And she had worked for getting in power with the XWF.
That was something that she, Lillith R. Groves had set out to
do. SHE did it. Not Steve Jason. Lillith couldn't even phathom
what SJ COULD have done to get her in that position. She had
done it. It awed her to have SJ think he did that. Yes, he had
saved her from many other things.. Jerry.. her stalker.. the
list goes on. And now, he was blaming her for the corruption
in his and Jem's friendship. Jem Williams. Someone she had also
trusted and ... nevermind. He .. just up and changed one day.
Starting babbling to himself, and then dropped off the face
of the Earth. Then Lillith had her own problems, and they just
never hit it off again. God, would Jem forgive SJ? No.... NO....
Would Jem ever forgive HER?..... No.... if SJ couldn't... neither
She was utterly alone.
She thought she had been before, but now.. she truly was.
Let me clear
something up for you right now, Lillith. Heather never strutted
around and was never 'provocative', as I recall. Unlike you,
who kept trying to take every moment to jam your fingers in
my mouth... not to mention other places... when you weren't
begging to take a ride on the Almighty Sting Diesel, of course...
Again, she cringed.
I didn't see
her doing anything to beg for my respect, my admiration or my
care. See, Kitten, unlike you... she didn't have to try to sleaze
onto me. She was just herself.
She was HERSELF. Something
Kitten.. Lillith.. knew nothing about. He was right. No wonder
they all called her a sleaze.
I found that not only did she have potential, but that I liked
who she was as a person. She's good-looking, she's a fair woman,
she has respect, she's someone whose personality I can admire.
In short, Kitten... she's every damn thing you ain't.
"I knew you'd clue in sooner or later."
"Well? You are NOTHING. I am something. Yet you keep denying
me, Lillith. There is seriously something wrong. You wouldn't
be so alone if you just.. choosed ME."
"I never deny you. Not anymore. I
hate you. I hate you so much I can taste what the meaning of
hate is. It isn't denial..... it is the blatant truth that I....
or Steve Jason... will see you die."
"If he kill me, he kills you."
"................maybe that's what
I want. Killed by a man I care about."
"Oh puh-lease! Don't tell me you'd rather be in his arms..
come on.. tell me the truth."
"......the truth is... no. I don't."
Lillith remembered 504
Boy, and smiled slightly.
will get his."
"Not before you get yours."
if we're going to come down to the romantic question... no,
I'm not with her, but I'd take her over you any day of the week.
And so you've joined the bandwagon of psychopathical weirdos
who go on and on and on about how Steve Jason will fall and
become nothing as the inky shadows of darkness fade over the
land and Bill Gates rules over us all with an iron fist, overseeing
all of Earth in the name of his lord, Lucifer Beelzebub Shamalama
Bing Bong Satan. So what makes you so special, huh? Let me make
it clear to you, Kitten. As much as you hype yourself up to
be the evil Angel of Death, the one who will finally stop Steve
Jason, the one who will kill me and destroy my life and sink
me into the pit of eternal hell... I've heard it all before.
Your precious boyfriend Cyren said the same thing, and what'd
I do? I sent him out of Turning Point with half his brains coming
out of his nose. And to be honest, Kitten... you're not that
different. You're no more powerful than the other's I've destroyed,
you're no more sick, you're no more empowered by some evil being,
and you're sure as hell not a better wrestler than the others.
The only difference is that you've got boobs.
blah, blah. Cyren was a nothing."
"Yeah, YOU did that."
"You let me."
"HA..... okay. Whatever. Cyren is a loser, and a waste
of space and air. He hates life, and he takes it for granted.
If it is anyone who should have YOU as a complex, it should
there is no goddamn way on this planet you're going to keep
me down. I've worked too goddamn hard at my life to allow a
spoilt little gothic S&M bitch to stop me. You might win
this match... if you cheat enough... and if your precious little
lapdog Rigg... ah... survives Massacre... but you will never
destroy my spirit. Never. Because you see, Kitten, neither you
nor anybody else on this planet controls my destiny. And as
I've said... I've weathered a hell of a lot worse than you.
You like to imagine you're as unstoppable as anybody on this
planet... but for God's sake, you went down to Jon Page. A man
I've beaten with both hands tied behind my back. That already
seems to demonstrate that I can whip your skinny little luminous
backside all over the world.
So go ahead. Try to deploy your vampire bullsh*t on me. Stick
your teeth into me and try to suck out my life, my essence,
my power and that what makes me tick. I don't think you'll like
what you extract, though. Because you won't be getting my essence.
Oh no. You'll be getting a few gobfuls of my drive, alright...
but that'll be offensive drive, because I'm going to be hitting
you with every last damn thing I have. See, Kitten, this is
it. This is the battle for independence. I will never bow down
to you. Despite how Stinger felt about you in the past, if I
need to send you out of that ring paralyzed from the neck down,
I will do it. And what's more, I won't give a damn about how
much of your life I'll destroy in the process.
Enjoy your demented imaginings while you can, Kitten. Because
the countdown is on, and I am coming to destroy you. And you'd
better believe that there's not a damn person on this planet,
you included, who can stop me. See you in hell, S3-bait.
Steve A. Jason ...."
Lillith set down the
note, and sighed. Wasn't this a crock of shit? Jesus Christ.
It was like..... moving a Buick with a plastic knife. Lillith
knew she wouldn't be able to alter his opinion about her at
all, not now. Misery. This.... is misery. Fighting a battle,
that if you win, you lose. and if you lose.. everyone loses.
The videotapes proved
to be the same, if not worse than the note. Especially the last
two promos. It was worse than the letter could ever be. She
was not only S3-Bait.... but she was also less than what she
thought she was to Steve Jason. Her necklace...something SHE.
not KITTEN.... had given to him.. now sat in the bottom of the
Indian Ocean. She closed her eyes, and captured every little
detail of what happened. The way his hand flew backward, his
shirt rippling in the wind.... his hand soaring above his head....
the necklace...... gone. Gone. Gone, gone. Her heart, lay at
the bottom of the ocean. And if not the whole organ, than at
least the piece of what she had given to Steve Jason. All of
her respect. Her devotion. Kitten had nothing for SJ, just her
hatred. But Lillith, was so much the opposite. More than the
opposite. And now, it didn't matter. Even the little script
written on the fasten-buckle that latched both ends of the necklace
had meant something. That necklace was of no money to Lillith.
Money meant nothing. ....... This item .. a token of her affection
and desire..... this priceless necklace....
oh I'd say tonight has been the most entertaining night since
the night you killed your precious daddy."
She shut her eyes, and
visioned two large hands wrapping around Kitten's throat, choking
the life out of her. ...... Not her hands.... Steve Jason's.
She sat up straight on
the couch, wiping the mascara off her cheeks. She realized as
soon as she wiped them away, her nose began bleeding. She began
to sob again, holding the papers of his letter to her nose as
she ran into the bathroom. She wretched several times, the blood
mingling with the bile in the john. She turned her head, almost
retching again by the sight. She stood, wiping the rest of the
blood away from her upper lip, and dropped the blood-soaked
letter into the toilet. Her lips puckered into a snarl, as she
She watched it swirl
into the drain, a symbol of her tired emotions whirling into
chaos.. then disappearing into an oblivion. Gone. Forever. Like
the necklace. Something that can never be replaced. Wrong. He
could replace the letter with another hateful one. Maybe one
was in her mailbox right now. Lillith began to pace, arguing
the most obscene words known to herself, hating herself.....
she wanted to die. She wanted to more than she ever had. Not
because of what Steve Jason did. She will never kill herself
over another man. But for what she was doing to herself. She
had no one to blame all this pain on. Only herself. She paced
to the living room, grabbing the tape with SJ's promo of him
tossing her necklace to sea.... and paced back into the bathroom.
She paced again, picturing how happy Steve Jason looked as he
bound out of the blue water, the beautiful jem in hand.. the
one he planned on giving to the woman that was 'everything she
ain't'. Lillith stopped, leaning against the buffet bar dividing
the kitchen and living room. She screamed loudly, a scream that
shook the windows and sent dogs barking for at least a mile
radius. She picked up the tape, attempting to snap it in half..
but failed. She stopped her scream, clenching her eyes, as she
lost her strength, instead bashing it against the countertop.
A few pieces of the tape flew in a few directions, as Lillith
lowered herself to the floor. She clutched her legs, crying.
It is too much to say
what happened after that moment, for not even HBO would air
it. She had stood and walked to the kitchen, pulling a knife
from off the cutting board. She examined it closely, nearly
taking it to herself, She had slammed it down several times,
and paced again. There is more.... but there is just too much.
When she finally pulled
herself from her own insanity, she sat back on the couch, with
a margarita, a menthol cigarette, and a notepad and pen. She
scribbled a small address in the corner for her formal letter.
no smart-ass remark? Nothing? You aren't going to take me over
real quick so you can write Steven a letter of your hatred?
So you can screw up more of my life?"
" ..... hahaha. No, dear girl. Your words are so different
from mine. If you write him, it will probably infuriate him
even more.. or confuse the hell out of him. It is more than
I could ever do. It would cause more chaos than I could conjure.
You go ahead, love. Make me PROUD."
She nearly threw down
the pen, and forgot writing the letter altogether. But it needed
to be done. She knew it. She knew without this letter to Steve
Jason, he would never know how she planned to die.... not she...
but Kitten. And she knew, Steve Jason loved to see her suffer.
If not before.. then now he did.
It is me, of
course. Not me, but me. I don't know how to even begin. I won't
say anything about your last letter, because frankly I have
nothing to say. I just want you to know, that I hope you kick
my ass. But until the day that I see the S3, I have to live
with... myself. And I don't think I can handle it right now.
So I have decided to take a little vacation. One, to kill the
monster I have become.... and another to drown it out with the
essence of happy. I hope you are following me, because I am
so confused I don't even know what I'm talking about. In short,
Steven, I wanted you to know that I am happy you want to rid
the world of something like me. It is perfectly in your nature.
It was perfectly in your nature to throw that necklace into
the darkness. Or was it? I don't know. It is so weird to come
back into my own head to find everything so different. This
isn't how I left it. And I never left it willingly.
you might understand what I mean. Maybe you won't. You won't
be able to reach me after this letter, for I am starting vacation
NOW. But as I said, I hope you kick my ass this coming Anarchy.
I deserve it, just as you wrote. I hope you enjoy your life
with Heather, I hope someday you come to the knowledge that
all I wanted was for you to be happy. But I am off to fight
a demon now, one that you want to take on. But I am sad to say,
my dear, that you aren't strong enough to vanquish it. It is
me who I have to sacrifice. The only sacrifice of a great proportion,
contrary to what you believe on my 'Angel Of Darkness"
routine. I don't know, I don't even think I should write to
you. But this is crucial, since I will be visiting a place ..
I know will make you nervous. Not the first vacation.. but the
second part of it. You always seem to find out things about
me, whether they be false or true... so someday soon you will
know. But I have to go, now. I hope throwing my necklace into
the sea meant the best for you, and I hope I am out of your
head forever. I know you are smart, and you probably think I
am full of my own self-pity. But you'd be surprised how far
I've worked things out. I know now, more than I have before.
And now, I am off to use that knowledge in the best way I know
how. .... Causing pain. And I am going to cause pain, in the
demon I know the best.
are safe. They never interested me no matter what the case.
Your girlfriend is safe. The only fight I plan to have with
her, is if someday I come back for the Women's Title. That is...
if I survive this.
Forever in your
debt and forever regretful,
She contemplated kissing
a red-bud onto the bottom, but felt it as unnecessary. But then
again - she may never be able to do it again. She is on a journey
now, that may be her last. Lillith folded up the letter, and
grabbed onto a big duffel bag she had packed. She grabbed her
keys in a rush, looking at her watch.
She had sent the letter
reluctantly, thinking how pointless it was to try and redeem
herself to Steve Jason. How he too, might bleed and puke all
over it, and set it aflame before pissing on it, laughing in
now you're thinkin' like a pro'."
"I'm with you, baby."
The airport announcement
com popped on, dragging Lillith out of her thoughts.
179 leaving Los Angeles, California to Cedar Rapids, Iowa is
now boarding. Attention, Flight 179 from LA to Cedar Rapids
is now boarding....."
A few other announcements
proceeded, as Lillith grabbed up her bags and headed for the
stewardess at the podium in front of the boarding deck. Lillith
smiled as she handed the ticket to the woman, though deep inside
she was falling apart.
Her last journey. It
had to be.
knew you'd always die alone."
"I'm not alone. You're still fucking
with my head."
"Ahaha, I suppose. We've always got each other."
"PSht, yeah. What a damn joy."
If she had been paying
attention, she would have realized from the moment she stepped
in her door back at San Fernando Valley.... or even as she sat
waiting to board the plane she was being watched. She never
heard the breathing.... she didn't even suspect the open window
as an alarm.
Someone was following
her. Sitting not even two rows from her. Someone worse than
Steve Jason's wrath.... worse than herself......
"Yes, kiddo. This
will be your last journey."