"Keep still."

Black Widow coughed in my arms, a bit of blood and mucous flipping from her throat onto her shoulder. Her eyes were bloodshot as she stared up at me, in ite a bit of pain.

"I'm so-...so sorry."

"Shhhh."

I presisted to cut the shirt from her body, exposing the major wound left on her chest.

"I should have never let you go in there for me."

"No..."

I had let Bianca take over for me Monday, hoping everything would smooth over well. I did expect the Gibson whores to attack, just not so abruptly. In a way, I was happy I didn't go... mostly because there would have been two dead bitches on my hands. But B' had handled it well. She destroyed Angel or what's-her-face, making me look quite well. But once I saw the situation afterward unfold... I knew it was dirtier than Clio Masters' underwear.

"..I.. I wanted to go. But I wish I had done something.. if I had known what you wanted me to do.. it would have been done."

I laughed; "If you would have done what I woulda done.... you'd be in jail."

She smiled up at me, her heavenly gaze almost breaking my heart. I had closed the wound on her ribs where the bone was exposed, but I had expected internal bleeding. Her nose was bleeding, cascading waves of blood down her throat that clogged her lungs. Which is why with each breath I heard a gurgle, a cough... and something would projectile from her... unfortunately onto me. But I didn't care. Bianca did a selfless deed, and I was proud. This wasn't the first time she had helped me. I was just glad the mask from a few months ago was still in good shape.

"I think I'm dying."

"Don't say that."

"It sure feels like it."

"Well in that case let's make the funeral arrangements, because in a week you will just be back anyhow."

" Yeah... *haha* I know."

"How do you do that anyway? It could come in handy, you know."

"You'll never know."

I hated that. I hated when she demoted me from my throne of knowledge, and sat upon the velvet seat herself. Throughout my years I had always sat back and watched.. reflecting and learning. But there were somethings about this girl that "I would never know".

"I think a day of bed rest and ice to the nose will set you straight. Go lay down."

Bianca stood up, and walked into the bedroom. It was in the newly-re-vamped warehouse we had snatched from abandonment, one that was now one of the most gosh houses this side of the Mississippi. But now.. it had trails of blood. I walked along the tiled floor, wiping Bianca's blood with the rag I had cleaned her with. At one point it was light lavender - the color of the bathroom... now, a pure red cloth. I walked back to the bathroom, washing the rag under the faucet. The blood drained from the rag like a hose, the deep crimson flowing down the drain in a whirlwind, mesmerizing swirl. My mind began to wander, the entrancing whip of the water slipping my mind into a minor coma of thought.

~~"..... I don't understand why these things happen. I don't understand it at all. Black Widow had interviewed Andrew Gibson... Andrew Gibson beat her half to death. Where is the fairness in that? I have tried so hard to be something in this fed. But veterans with big cujones hanging from their noses make it so hard. Bigg Rigg is on the roster... yet he never shows his face. Maybe he is too scared now that I am back. Just like Andrew Gibson is scared shitless enough to have somebody ELSE do his dirty-work. And not just SOMEBODY... SOMEBODYS. Plural. Two of them. One.. a skanky big mouth who thinks she is tough shit. Frankly, if I wasn't in my right mind I would have figured she was a transvestite.. you know.. the uglieness for one.. and for two if she has the balls to stand against me... then she HAS to be a man. Because every woman I have ever faced, has shrank, and been a coward. Everyone from Wild Whore-chid to Angel Perez. Not ONE match lost against a woman. Not here.. not anywhere. Nor do I intend on it ever happening. And beside her, is her little parrot. I don't know where these two have come from or how they got here. All I know is that they have NO pull over me.. or anyone at all for that matter. ANd now that they have attacked my best friend, they are in for one hell of a ride.

I don't know WHO this Vampira is. But I do know that she makes NO impact upon me. I don't care what her intentions are. If they are against me... they are toast. And no doubt there will be a little graveyard outside this fed... Tombstones: Gibson.... Rigg.... Lilly.... Clio... and their new little dog, Vampira. It doesn't matter who you are or what you stand for. If you are against me... the world falls upon you....."~~

I was angry. I looked down to see I had tensed my fist so much, the rag was beginning to unravel. A brand-new Martha Stewart 10$ washrag. Figures. The economy is fucked.. the government is fucked.... so why not my washtowels. Man I was pissed. This had happened to me so many times before.. these .. attacks. But I had never 'died' like this before. I have never been this... alone.

And suddenly I realized just how alone I was. Cyren wasn't with me. He was in his own little world. Expecially after he hit me. I had given him the most precious gift.. a CHILD. And he hit me. He is nothing to me, now. But my Gabrielle... my dear sweet was learning how to hunt. Not animals or precious game... she was learning how to hunt her enemies. Which is why I wasn't present at Massacre. I had helped her find her principal. He sat alone in his study at home, jerking off to child pornography. It was a sad sight to see, a fat old man wriggling over photos of little children with no clothes on. I was proud of my Gabby that night. She beat him to death with a meat cleaver, leaving his head split like a banana peel. She was all I had. But she couldn't stand against the wills and angst of the people in the federation. Not the hate they have for me. But I stand against it everyday. And even through the worst of times, I laugh at the missed punches the entire women's division.. and most of the men for that matter... had tried to land upon my precious ego.

I cleaned up, sitting on the couch in front of the TV. The latest edition of XWF Magazine printed, a giant picture of The Order's symbol plastered with various pictures of wrestlers. "Devastation".. the PPV was titled, leaving the magazine with MANY articles of interviews and opinions. I was glad to see, that I was the only woman upon the cover. I flipped through the pages, reading info on the big match-up.. Jem and Steve Jason. I, along with many others was stunned by the sudden switch in friendship. But it didn't suprise me too much. Jem hadn't been doing anything really, when Steve Jason decided to flip sides on him. It seemed too familiar in my case. I forgave him though, and even talked to him. But since, I hadn't heard anything. Not even a slanderous remark. Nor any sign of the friendly, well-mannered man I had known before.

I flipped the page, to the Roster section. It was an updated roster of the newest and oldest thus far. It was stunning to see just how many people were in the XWF... and just how many did NOTHING in the XWF. I found a bit of humiliation and hilarity in the Women's Roster.... Diabolique was the first underneath me.. NOTE: UNDERNEATH ME. I chuckled to myself, remembering her little 'crime' spree of the mind. Apparently, she had been struck by lightning or something.. because she thought she had been causing the deaths of women superstars. Well. WOMAN Superstar.. and various other women on the roster. The poor girl. I barely hear of her now.. probably lost up in the dull, boring catacombs of the Womenb's Division. Ai Kakashi made the same impact.. very large.. for the WOMEN'S Division. Then she dissapeared. But other than that I don't think anyone cared. And that is what was sad. I don't think anyone even payed attention to Women's matches anyhow. Maybe that's when they went for pop and snacks. Clio Masters was a story all in itself, that would take MUCH longer to conclude than the time alloted in a century. The spinless bitch of a being had no right of living. And I intended on fufilling that injustice against humanity. "Lady Revenge"????? I mean.. COME ON. Her little mini-Clio, Lilly had made the WRONG decision when she decided to team with Gibson. Which proved that most women on this planet were stupider than dogs. Note, the humiliation. The two (Clio and Lilly) made a good couple, though. The biggest hemmaroid on the sphinkster of the planet Earth. Ozzing.. festering.... Then onto the other dissapointments... Faith Marsters who? Morgan? That little soap-opera chick? Who are those people?

But the most sad one of them all... Nicole Kinneck... Duchess of.. DUCKS!?!? WHAT THE HELL!? Wow. Ducks. Intimidation. She must have grown up in Georgia. Because only a redneck would find a DUCK intimidating. I mean.. Duchess of... Death??... Destruction?.. There could have been SO many better choices.. but the hick chose DUCKS. No doubt she couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag.. making her even more bird-brained than MUNGBEAN. Angel Perez was a sinch to beat, Nera Nyx I've never heard of and Vampira can follow Clio and Lilly right off a cliff onto a busy interstate in a hailstorm forestfire.

And after analyzing all of the Women's roster, I found myself shaking my head in disgust. It was pathetic. At least when Jen Jetson was here there was a little class. In conclusion, the women's division is shit. I mean.. WHERE is the IMPACT, girls? Where is it?... Well.. maybe Jon should send the entire womens division (minus myself) to IMPACT TO GET SOME.

I don't know anymore. I didn't know and I don't think I knew it at one point at all. The world seems to get a little colder everyday. It must be getting close to the apocolypse. But still.. I don't know. Steve Jason hates me still... I think. I don't think anything I said to him sunk in. Which makes me wonder just why I let him in. Jem ignores me.. he's off with his new chiquita on his heaven on Earth. The women's division is a boring, drawn-out nightmare from which the whores of society join to try and be a star. I remember when wrestling was a passion that came behind the thoughts of your mind coinsiding with your heart. But anymore the only heart I see is flung across the ring, or dripping from Bianca's lips at dinner. And the only mind I see is the kind that is beaten in with metal object from feuds between people who USED to be friends. It is amazing to see how the morals have changed in 2K4. But with the times, I shall change. I will close off my heart, since no one accepts it. I shall shut off my mind since everyone rejects it. I will become the soulless carcass just like the rest of the roster. I will fight for no reason, only to please the fans with blood, guts, and gore.

If you thought I was a bitch now....