but you can call me tofu


so back in the day, greenhaven lutheran youth group was run by a not nice guy named don... not evil, but not nice. anyways, the only meeting we had was just after easter and we went to buckthorns. [yummy!] i had a hot chocolate.

then, summer before i was in the seventh grade the teens were running vacation bible school. there was this other girl i had kinda made friends with because we were working with the same group. her name was lizzy. lizzy said she liked shawn, and even though i had kinda thought he was cute and whatnot, i agreed to deliver her letter to him while she tried to pry him away from his friend tony... so i put the letter on his pew and he started dating lizzy. she was kind of a controlling bitch. but i liked her and her friends better than anyone else i went to school with. then lizzy dropped the church, her and shawn broke up, and she stopped talking to me... last i heard she was going to be sent to st. francis, an all girls private school. ha ha.

so then in high school, the youth group had started up again, but with our ultra-cool leader, jen. man she was awesome... yeah, so i still kinda had a thing for shawn or whatever, but i did not see him much. more recently i have heard shawn used to have a thing for me, but that his friends thought i was weird [i wonder why they would think that?] and so he never said anything. but i never did find out for sure...

then i started dating sean. not shawn, but sean hudnel. [his name was spelled the dumb way] tara brought him to youth group one night, we hung out on the playground thing outside, bret came over and got all mad, and shawn was like, "no, this is my heather time." we talked on the phone for hours every night for a few weeks or so, and then came the thirty hour famine.

shawn and i wrestled some and it was fun and all, but when i sit on a couch with sean and shelsea wants us to kiss, i cannot be in the same room as him for the 27 hours we have left. since bret is now all mad at me, shawn and i spend the whole time together. we went around together collecting money, and we collected more than any other pair of us 'beggars' who went door to door. he also brought me the syrupy stuff from the bottom of the kool-aid after hours without food and spending all day in the sun collecting money door to door. dogs kept barking at us, they were jealous. so we decided to have a threesome, woofy would't mind... [love you shawn!] and we spent any free time playing othello:

HtmlOthello ©1997-98 Streetmedia

after that, i never really talked to sean again, and i heard he started wearing makeup and giving microphones blowjobs on stage or something weird like that. yeah. anyways, we have a lock in for the 20+ of us going on the new orleans trip. that was a blast. i do not remember who it was, but someone brought out twister. so, everyone is playing twister, and shawn and i are always the last ones left. i guess he won more than i did, although, i think even if he lost, he still came out a winner... [remember: in twister, there are no losers] yeah. everyone said it looked like we were having sex, because on top of trying to win we were also trying to hold more complicated stances than the other.

so then we go to new orleans. and out of all the people who signed up, put down the 176 dollar deposit, and did all the hours of fundraising... only 3 girls, 5 guys, and jen and laura went. it was awesome. it was probably the best experience of my life. actually, a lot of it sucked, but the spiritual aspect was just so intense. at this time, bret and i were "dating" but we were not a couple. i still kinda had a thing for shawn, and bret had a major thing for brittany. so, just before we went, i had said the three magic words to bret. there was this whole thing, i had not wanted to be attached to bret. not just bret, but anyone. i had known for a long time actually, and i had said it once before, but he did not. so i had told him, and tried to stop things. i did not like the seriousness of it all, and we all know that i am barely a grown up now, even though i really am one... alright, back to the story... so, bret and i are mad at each other. and he and steve play a joke on me. they say that they had been talking to shawn in their room and he had said he liked me. i got all happy, then found out they were lying. i ran back to the hotel and went to the gym part to keep me from kicking ass. bret is like, "sorry." and the three of us go, and to make up for it, steve buys me a drink from starbucks. so then we are in the french quarter one night to get some beignets [rough cut flaky sweet dough pieces that are deep fried and covered with powdered suger] and bret and i start fighting, and brittany comes over and butts in, and bret says something smart-alleky and i said that maybe i loved shawn and not him. not good. it was the worst thing i ever did to bret. now we have brittany and shawn flirting the whole time, me and tara mad at her, bret mad at me, me still mad at stave, and chris trying to get phone numbers. so on the second to the last night, there was this 'dance' and i guess brittany told him to or whatever, but i remember he said my hair smelled good, and i juat wanted to laugh, because he was like, 'it smells good, not like dirt and sweat.' i thought it was funny... shut up.

so, bret and i get over our mess and become "official" and shawn and brittany hook up, and every morning shawn and i wait. we wait out front. like the morning people we are [though shawn seems to have picked up bret's sleeping habits, living with him and all] and write letters to our significant others and talk about how great they are. so, bret starts ditching out on me, and brittany cheats on shawn or whatever. so they keep going on and off, and a week before my sweet 16, i get my ass dumped and on st. patrick's day, bret starts dating shelsea... [that lasts less than three days] they date for like two months or something like that, it was dumb.

so the school year is almost over, and shawn and brittany break up. bret and i were the first to find out. she came up behind us when we were almost at my house after school one day and she is just in tears. not happy pretty tears, ugly sad scrunched up face tears. [not as bad as when alyse was crying though... man that was bad] so shawn is now single. bret and i are in secret mode again, but he is obsessing over brittany still... and it is summer. wow.

so, being summer, bret decides not to go to church anymore, and brittany goes to the greek church. so it is me and shawn. me and shawn and his favorite game. throw candy and small change down heather's top. and there are no more jelly beans on pastor bill's desk. we ate them all. but all the coinage shawn has is quarters. so he throws three dollars or so in quarters down my top from across the room, then he wants it back. um... no? you throw three bucks in my shirt, i think i should get to keep it... but i said i would give it back at my house. but neither of us wanted to go home. my mom, his aunt. so we wait at the electrical box thing under the overpass thing on the way home, and we are talking, and since i was wearing a dress and heels, and we were sitting on the ground, i had my back to him a bit to keep my legs and stuff closed and whatnot. so suddenly i feel his hand not only in my shirt, but under my bra. so he takes some of the quarters out, but when his hand goes back it stays, and we just sit there, with him cupping my breast. so we go on our way. later bret finds out and gets all mad at me over it, like i asked for it or something. yeah, i said, 'hey shawn, wanna feel me up?' sorry, i am not that cheap...

so later that summer, my mom and sisters go to camp. in ohio. for a month. and bret and i were in full swing. on the kitchen table. and the doorbell rings. and neither of us know where our pants are. i find bret's stuff and he runs into the bathroom and i grab this wrap around skirt thing and wear it like a dress. guess who? it was shawn. 'bret was in the bathroom' 'i was going to change, but was all naked when the bell rang' yeah. whatever. it was a sucky lie. we were in the throngs of passion. but i guess he just convinced himself we were telling the truth...

so, shawn kind of ignores me for awhile. why, i do not know. then i take video production with him, but bret transfers out. finally shawn is talking to me again, i think mostly thanks to my magic purse with its assortment of candy bars, skittles, and starburst. he wanted all the non-original flavor packs of skittles and starburst. blue and purple and green. and sour skittles. but he would buy the regular ones if need be... [i was selling candy because they took all the machines out that were not filled to the brim with old pretzel sticks and trail mix, and i was making some decent bank]


people think shawn fucks hamsters

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