who loves da bretford? i love da bretford...


you cannot say bret is not cute... just look at the little floating head and tell me he is not cute...


bret and i are not a story of love at first sight, actually, i could not stand him. the first time i saw him, we were at youth group. he was with his friend chris *

sidenote: (hide)
i was also not fond of chris due to this little incedent where he and matt tried to drown me and such, result of which was me choking on pool water all the time...
. alright, well, he and chris came late. chris on his skateboard, bret with his rollerblades. they sat off in the back, away from everyone else, and bret had his stupid headphones on. always listening to some angry music, not paying attention, and being in my opinion, very disrespectful. well, after some time of being around him at lunch and such, i was able to stand him.

moving ahead, there was a youth group trip to disneyland. actually we were going there to decorate a float for the rosebowl parade. it was an ugly float. it was two pheasants, sponsered by kodak. but for the manual labor, we got to go to disneyland.

so, bret and i were the first of the youth there, and natasha and stephan [brittany's brother] and the four of us were there well over an hour before anybody else showed up. natasha and stephan were doing something, video games or fdf or something about the greek church they were both from... so, bret and i sat in the kitchen [we would spend many a day in kitchens] and he sat on the counter by the youth cupboard and i sat on the window counter thing that opened to the next room. we were talking and it was just like 'here i am! rock you like a hurricane!' i called tahsa in the room and had her bring her polaroid. i just knew i needed a picture of that moment. i had never been so [insert word of great joy... i cannot seem to think of one... i am not even sure a word exists for this feeling] from talking to anyone, much less a guy... most of whom that i knew were assmongers, especially since i had thought i hated him. but i have the picture. i think it is nice to have a picture of the exact moment you went weak in the knees. thank god i was sitting down...

so that night, when we had to sleep in sleeping bags, and tash and i went near the back, and i asked bret to come over by us. he was there for awhile and i had him place his hand on my hip [i moved fast, i knew he liked the others] but then jen made him move.

so on the trip we rode in this big bussy/van thing and jen's car. i got carsick, and it was either steve or stephan, but someone from the back had to switch with me so i could lay down in back, with bret acting as pillow man. so we were in the car, and again, i put his hand on my hip, and he just kept rubbing my hair and making sure i was okay, and he was just so sweet, that i knew i could not slow up and let him think about the forbidden threesome [shelsea-brittany-tara] so, i put his fingertips just under the front waistband of my pants to let him know i meant business...

so at disneyland, when i was still unsure of what i was doing [with bret... damn, follow the story fool...] yet knew i had to do what i could, and figuring out this new fast pass business, i grabbed the tickets for my group [because it is my personal belief that all people are morons, or act like one, so i usually decide to get things moving...] got us thunder mountain passes, and we went on splash mountian. everyone knew i had two younger sisters, and asked if i wanted the front with tasha... we sat next to each other on the log thing, even though you aren't supposed to. when we got on the log, our group only took half of the log. then two huge people got on. i mean like the ones who go on maury or ricky lake for free stuff because they cry that they are four years old and weigh 300 pounds, or like those motor scooter twins that looked like their butts swallowed the seat... i do not see how these people got past disneyland security... anyways, our boat log thing now weighed a gazillion pounds, and tasha pulled up her hood [none of us knew it would be cold, tasha just turns purple standing in her kitchen...] and tash and i got drenched, but tash had scooted inside her jacket, because she got colder from the log moving forward. and so tash had a wet jacket, and i had a wet me. a cold soggy wet me. in the kind of clothes that do not dry. in the kind of weather that does not dry clothes...

so, i used this to my advantage [though it was not what i was planning on] and i had bret hold me the whole day [he would have given me a jacket, but we all left them in the van, except for natasha. stupid little cold person... [just kidding, i love you tasha] anyways, he held me all day, and [first time ever, i swear] all of these little sexual remarks came forth dripping off my lips [i had never seen anything like it] and we just held each other close all day, his fingertips under my waistband.

the trip was cut short for us though, because my dad picked me up at the end of the night, and everyone went home in the van, minus me...

this is the part where it gets weird...

it was mid march, and bret, chris, natasha, and i were at c.w. [known to some as weasel] elementary. i had bret go talk to tasha, who already knew my plan, and i talked to chris. i wanted to know what bret was up for. if bret was scared of me, that kind of thing... [it has happened more than once where i have scared someone without intending to, but i was slowly warping this poor boy's fragile mind, so i had good reason to ask] anyways, chris kinda said whatever and sent bret over, and he went to talk with natasha. i took bret to the top of the playground thing, where the slide tower was at the top, and said: this is what i want, this is how i want it, this is when i want it, and these are my terms. [what a bitch] it was the first time i was ever touched like that [i believe the first time he touched someone like that] and i wanted more.

so one day, it was april... some day after shawn's birthday [12] and before katty's [16] i am unsure of the exact date... bret and i went roller blading. he is great at it, but i prefer old school skates to roller blades, which i was showing my superb suck skills at... and we came to the bridge that goes over the street that is between his house and where you would turn off to go to kyle's. there is a tree with a bench under it there, and we [or rather i] needed to sit down. but the bench would only hold one person, as the other side was covered in sticky soda from the burger king cup on the ground and bird droppings from a nearby branch.

so bret let me sit, but then he went to take off his skate because he had something in it, so i let him sit, but i had already taken off my skates, and was now wearing socks, surrounded by mud, so i sat in bret's lap, facing him. we were just talking, then it happened. the kiss. and not just any kiss, it was a movie kiss... the kind where your eyes cannot seem to steady themselves, and everything glazes over but that other person [trust me, not all kisses are this good] and everything is just perfect. after a short while, we realized what had happened, we went back to our business and kissed some more. i found out later that day that unlike me, it was not his first kiss... [it was shelsea, and i highly doubt she kissed bret for anything other than to just have another notch on her bedpost] and that kinda made me sad, but what can you do?

so, bret and i were kinda together, but neither of us wanted to say anything, and we did not want to let anyone know, as we thought what we did was our business. so i started writing in this stupid notebook of black paper, some poems and things from books and lines from movies and the sort... anything that reminded me of the time i would spend with bret. everyday after school we would sit in the shade on the bridge and watch the people walk home, or we would sit on the grass just before the cabana club parking lot in what we called the chair. [he laid down, knees up, i sat up, my back on his knees, and my feet or my backpack made a pillow type thing for him] and i would read to him from the notebook.

so as i read the pages to bret, he asks me who they are for. [what?] so i say... well, he has blue eyes, blondish hair, he is taller than me, and his name is short and sweet... 'shawn?' he says. shawn? shawn? what the hell?!? dude. im looking in your eyes, an inch from your face and you say shawn? i think for a bit... 'you know,' i say 'you could maybe look a bit like shawn if you took your glasses off' [please get the hint!!!] and he still does not get it. he swears up and down i am using him to get with shawn. yeah, even though i barely know shawn and i spend every moment with you... yeah, i really just want to make you miserable and somehow you can boost me up to shawn? you are not as gross as you think. retard. [sorry, but you would think you could at least get that it was you... geez]

alright, now i know what you must be thinking... this girl is a sicko or something... what is she talking about? well...

[long story: work in progress]

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people love the bretford!

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