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My Thoughts "Have faith in me and I will not let you down" Love - Rent-A-FrieNd 01.28.03 Just now, I thought to myself, what is true love? I came up with the different possibilities that true love means concern for and interest in those you are trying to love. It means accepting them for who and what they are. Love is costly and is demanding, and is often very difficult. Love requres that you set aside your thoughts, desires and self-interests. In our "i-i, my-my, me-me" society, true love is coming much difficult to find. As we live, we age and then we die; so it is with our relationships. Some relationships have a life span of months; others live for decades. Equally important to loving is having the ability to let go and move on when love dies. Some of you angrily express that these broken relationships were a waste of your time, Although we may be hurting from our broken heart, it is foolish to think of your relationship as having no value because it didn`t last forever. I often express my belief that not all relationships are MEANT to last forever. Many are just stepping stones on the river of life there to get you to the other side where you will have become the person you were meant to be. Change must be expected as one ages and matures. Sometimes you and your partner change together and for the better, and sometimes you don`t. Certain attitudes will perpetuate painful feelings much longer than need be. Attitudes such as "I can`t be happy withoutthis person,"or "Life without him/her is too hard," or "After all I did, this is how s/he treats me!" or "I will never have another like him/her," or "All wo/men are just alike!" won`t get you anywhere. Thoughts and attitudes such as these prevent you from letting go, moving on and maturing mentally or emotionally. Letting go hurts because not only do we let go of our partner, we must let go of all our dreams of a life with them. We let go of our present stage oflife andour expectations of that life. We letgo of many viewpoints. We let go of identifying ourselves as a part of this relationship, as half a couple with this individual. We must let go and move on from this time of our life, as it is finished and over. Letting go is bound to cause a deep sense of loss. Loneliness, anger, grief, jealousy, fear of the future, panic, and in some cases, a deepand depressing sense of failure are just a few of the emotions waiting for us at the end of a relationship where we loved deeply. It hurts, but the hurt is not endless. Remember that time is the ultimate healer. After a few weeks the sharp pains turn into a dull ache, and after a few months you will hopefully be able to take a step back and realistically assess benefits gained from the association. You can use this time alone wisely for introspection and spiritual development; understand your role in the failure of the relationship and vow to do things differently next time. Make plans for your future, do things you enjoy, or become productive and take care of other matters that need your time and attention. Sure, you can feel bad all by yourself, but you will never feel as good as you can feel wrapped up in the arms of someone that you love with all your heart. Always give the gift of love freely, and allow love to come in, sit down, and make a real difference in your life "Reality is wrong.......Dreams are for real"

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