Title: What Was Once Lost
Author: Jami
Email: aresangel1@yahoo.com
Pairing: S/W, a little D/Aus
Rating: pg 13
Summary: Spike gets a second chance with someone from his past
Spoilers: A little Season 2
Author’s Notes: Spike and Dru are more like brother/sister, they were never together, and Angelus is Spike’s sire.
A/N #2: **This may have Season 2 spoilers but it takes place in early senior year of high school**
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I promise!
Feedback: I live for it!
Part 1:
Spike rested in a tattered chair, glancing around at his meager surroundings. He was beginning to wonder why he ever let Drusilla talk him into going to the hellmouth. It began a few weeks before, Dru was spinning around in circles, as per usual, talking to her precious doll, and whispering to the stars. She said that they must come to Sunnydale. When they got here, not only did he realize the slayer was here, but so was his soulful sire.
They had only been in town for two days. Other than going to feed, he and Dru spent most of the time indoors. He had just finished taking over as master and they were finally settled in a shabby but decent warehouse. It left a lot to be desired but it would do, for now.
He focused on Drusilla as she waltzed into the spacious room, clutching her doll, Miss Edith, protectively at her side. She had a smile on her face, but this was not her usual smile. For once her eyes were clear of the insanity that had been forced upon her.
“Spike…” she said, in a soft, lilting voice. “Miss Edith says we must go out tonight, there are great surprises for us. The stars are whispering such wonderful things to me, psst…psst…” she mumbled.
“What are the stars saying luv?” he asked gently as he stood gracefully. She may be crazy, but Dru’s visions were almost always right on the money. They took some time to decipher, but they were extremely important.
She smiled and replied, “The stars have a prezzie for you Spike. Shall make you so happy. And when you’re happy, the stars say that princess will be happy, and my Angel will come back to me. Then we can all be a happy family, the four of us…” she trailed off.
“The four of us?” he questioned, “Who are you talking about?” She giggled.
“Mustn’t spoil the surprise. Come ducks, let’s go, I can’t wait to see your present!”
He smiled at her excitement. It was rare when Dru was truly happy. She didn’t usually act so enthusiastic, not since Angelus had left them. Just thinking about the times before his sire was cursed made his mood shift dramatically. They used to have the best of times together.
Darla had left them to go see the Master, and no one complained. The blonde was always a problem, she was never much fun. The four of them would spend their days laughing, and shagging. Their nights would be filled with bloodshed, carnage, and general mayhem, it was great. Angelus and Dru would go off hunting together. What a pair they made, each with their pale complexion and almost black hair, they always were striking together. And while they had their fun, he and his childe would do the same. They too were equally shocking as a couple. He still had his sandy blonde hair and she was dazzling with her blood red hair, and emerald green eyes. No, he couldn’t start thinking of her. If he did, he would be in a funk for weeks.
It had been nearly eighty-five years since she had been dusted and he still had a difficult time dealing with his loss. She was his magnificent childe, his only one. But she had been gone for such a long time and he needed to put her in his past, if only for the sake of his sanity.
Drusilla’s pouting brought him out of his thoughts and he smirked at her impatience. He took her by the hand and led her out of the warehouse. He allowed her to pull him along once they were outside. She knew where she wanted to go, he was just there for the ride. He took in the scenery as they walked, keeping an eye out for the slayer. He hadn’t seen her or his sire at all, but his senses told him they were getting close.
He looked at Dru with a questioning glance when he noticed that she had led them to a local club. There were scantily dressed teenagers all over the place, but since he had already ate, he wasn’t impressed.
“What are we doing here pet?” She didn’t answer, just grabbed his hand and took him inside.
The music was blaring. It had to be extremely loud to human ears, and with vampire hearing it was excruciating. He scowled, he knew the slayer was really close. His eyes rested on a table off to the side of the dance floor. He saw a petite blonde, obviously the slayer, hanging off a familiar figure. He heard Drusilla growl as the girl placed a kiss on the man’s lips. He recognized him as his sire, and understood why Dru was furious. Figures his sire would fall for a slayer, he was always one for self-inflicted punishment.
“Dru, why are we here? I don’t think you wanted to spy on Angelus and the slayer,” he spat out the last word like a curse. She finally looked away from the disturbing sight of her sire and the slayer. Looking Spike in the eyes, she slowly smiled and let her gaze drift to the dance floor. She followed a couple with her eyes as they exited the dance floor and walked to the table where the slayer and vampire were sitting.
Spike followed her gaze to the couple. The boy was average height, short brown hair, a goofy look upon his face. He couldn’t distinguish the girl’s features, she was hidden in the shadows. As they reached the table, Spike glanced at Dru as she leaned close to his ear.
“Your surprise luv…” she whispered, pointing to the girl who just sat down.
Spike turned to look at the group, not understanding what she was so excited about. The cigarette he had dangling from his lips fell as the girl came into view. A thousand memories came flying back to him as he looked upon the girl’s red hair and wide, luminous eyes. Slowly coming out of his shock, he whispered the only word that came to mind.
“Willow…”
Part 2:
Angel was uneasy tonight. He had learned during his 249 years to pay attention to his instincts, and they told him something was off. He was sitting with Buffy at the Bronze. They had been talking for awhile, while Xander and Willow were dancing.
Willow, now that was an interesting topic. She brought him so many conflicting emotions. On one hand, she was a sweet, innocent girl who went out of her way to help everyone. She didn’t have an evil bone in her body. But on the other, she was, in everyway, the replica of his boy, his Spike’s, childe. She had the same name, same face, there were no differences. The Willow he had known before also had this small, almost unnoticeable scar by her elbow, and not surprisingly, so did this Willow. When he asked her about it she told him it was from an accident she had falling off a swing when she was five.
He knew they lived on the hellmouth, but this had him worried. When he was still soulless, the four of them, himself, Dru, Spike, and Willow were inseparable. But a little while before he was cursed, they had been visiting a small village in Italy. Spike and he had went hunting and left Dru and Willow on their own. The two women were entertaining themselves in a small tavern. They got hungry and decided to lead two unsuspecting men outside, to their deaths. But before they were done feeding, two men walked in on the scene. He wasn’t sure how they knew that they were vampires, but they had stakes and crosses.
Spike had known the minute she died. He and Angelus had been walking down a cobblestone street, laughing about the old days, when a sudden burst of pain flowed through the younger vampire. He toppled to the ground, tears falling at the realization that his love was gone.
When they caught up with Drusilla, the bodies of the two men responsible for Willow’s death were laying at her feet. The insane vampiress was shaking from grief. She clung to Angelus and Spike just stared at the dust before him, all that was left of his mate.
Spike needed him more than ever then. He was unnervingly silent for weeks after. He took out his anger and grief on the unsuspecting population. They had to leave Italy before too many people became suspicious about the rash of murders. That’s when they went to Romania.
When Angel first arrived here and ran into the redhead, he was shocked to say the least. But this girl was their Willow, just as she was before she was turned. William was rather young when he took a fancy to the girl, but Angelus taught him to take things slowly. He helped his boy mold the girl into his ideal before Spike turned her. This Willow was just like her counterpart from ages ago.
Xander and Willow joined them at their table after their dance. Angel gave the girl a small smile as she sat beside him, he ignored the boy, knowing Xander hated him for being with Buffy. He was prepared to spend a nice evening without any demonic interference, for once, when he got a familiar tingle, alerting him that family was near.
He tensed immediately, his eyes sweeping through the club, looking for any sign of his childer. He caught a glance at bleach blonde hair before it disappeared. He excused himself quickly and left before Buffy could question him.
He ran outside, scanning the surroundings, searching the shadows. He heard a child-like giggle and spun around. His eyes widened as he saw Drusilla. His childe looked absolutely beautiful in the moonlight. She stared at him, an amused grin on her face at his stunned look.
“Drusilla?” he asked as he woke from his stupor. “What are you doing here?”
She walked to him, caressing his face with her hand, “The hellmouth called to me. So many reasons to play here, the slayer, daddy, my niece…” Angel froze.
“Niece?” he asked warily.
“Silly daddy,” she reprimanded, “you know that our girl is here…Spikey’s princess.”
Oh crap, Spike! Angel had forgotten about Spike.
“Where is he Dru, where’s Spike?” he questioned hurriedly. She shook her head.
“Leave your boy alone,” she warned. “He’s been so sad, so lonely. Since his princess left us. The stars told me to lead Spike to his childe. He won’t hurt her my Angel. He misses his lovey, he wants to watch her, protect her.”
“But who will protect her from him?”
“She doesn’t need protection from him,” she growled. “He loves his little tree.”
“She’s not our Willow, she’s mortal Dru. I can’t let him kill her,” he pleaded. He closed his eyes, desperate for her to understand what he was saying. When he opened them again, she was gone.
He practically ran into the Bronze. He saw that Buffy, Xander, and Willow were still all seated, nothing looked out of the ordinary. So he joined them and acted as nothing had happened. He never saw the blonde that disappeared through the back door.
Part 3:
Spike was pacing restlessly inside the abandoned warehouse. He wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. His Willow, his long dead childe was here, in Sunnydale. And she was very much alive.
He spent as much time as he could studying her. He only left when he noticed Angel coming back inside. She was as he remembered her when she was still human. So sweet, quiet, and beautiful. He could barely resist the urge to take her then. She was so close, and he had been without her for so long.
He remembered when he first saw her. It was 1899, and the three of them, Dru, Angelus, and himself, were forcing themselves to sit through another boring evening with snobby socialites in Ireland. They had left London shortly after Spike’s turning, and Angelus wanted to bring his childer to his homeland.
Spike was waiting for Angelus to finish chatting up some chit he had chosen for his meal. He scanned the lavish surroundings, clearly not impressed with the outward display of elegance. His eyes drifted to a shy redhead he saw mingling with some the other guests. He made his way to her, sauntering over to her with an air of confidence. He caught her eye and smirked as he saw her blush.
He spent that night staving of boredom by talking with this charming girl. It took a lot to impress Spike, but she had him thoroughly interested. She was always polite and considerate. Even when he went out of his way to make her blush, she was never anything but courteous. Even Angelus was taken with her. She was reserved but confident. He had a feeling that his time in Ireland was no longer going to be so unbearable.
He was even amazed when Drusilla announced that she approved of the redhead. Dru was very protective of him, and she never thought anyone was good enough for him. But in this instance, she declared that the stars brought this girl to him, and they were to be family. Spike wanted to turn her as soon as possible, but Angelus convinced him it would be best to have her love him first, it would make the transition easier. And he knew he had to spend eternity with that enchanting creature.
Tonight he was reminded of their first meeting. Seeing his love among the crowd of people, talking pleasantly with her friends, pretty but painfully insecure at the same time. Seeing her again brought back all the pain he felt when she died. The loss he thought could never fade resurfaced. He couldn’t let her go now.
Drusilla watched Spike pace, she knew he was so confused, but he was happy. There was a sense of relief in his eyes that had not been there before. She sat a few feet from where he was walking, listening to Miss Edith.
“Spike,” he soft voice brought his attention to her. “Daddy isn’t happy, he doesn’t understand. He thinks he has to protect her, but she was brought back for you, she just doesn’t remember yet…” He smiled at her ramblings.
“Is it really her ducks? Not just some figment of my imagination?”
She smiled brightly, “No pet, it is your childe, flesh and blood,” she said reassuringly. “Things will turn out as they are meant to. You will have your princess back with you and I’ll will have my Angel, the stars have promised. They do not lie, William.”
“I miss her so much Dru,” he admitted quietly. “It’s been so long, and I never thought I would have another chance to be with her, short of staking myself. I can’t lose her again. I wouldn’t survive it.”
Drusilla rose from her chair and wrapped her arms comfortingly around her brother. She knew how much pain he was in, he was reliving everything, all the hurt and anger. She still remembered vividly the agony she felt when he niece died. They were always together, like sisters. She blamed herself for a while, for not being fast enough to save her. She killed the two that staked her Willow with brutality that rivaled her sire but it did nothing to make her feel better.
“I promise you my boy,” she said, holding him close. “You will have her back. No one will stop you. She was always yours, luv. And she always will be, daddy will come around. She’ll remember you, love you, and be with you again. It is meant to be.”
Part 4:
“I come bearing jelly donuts!” announced Xander as he bounded into the library. Angel rolled his eyes at the boy’s actions. He, for one, could care less if Xander showed up at all.
Willow smiled at her best friend and continued her research. There was nothing out of the ordinary going on, but Giles insisted they be prepared.
“Do I really have to be here?” Cordelia whined as she filed her nails, “I mean, there’s no new baddies to kill, and I don’t see the fun in sitting and doing research on nothing.”
Giles exited his office and looked at his charges. While Willow was perfectly content reading the various books he had placed on the table, Buffy and Cordelia looked unusually bored, Xander was engrossed in a comic book while munching on various snack foods, and Angel was brooding, again.
“I suppose you all can go home. And Buffy can go patrol.”
“But Giles,” the slayer complained, “Why can’t Buffy go home too? I’m wiped out Giles, can’t I take a night off?” The watcher contemplated her questions.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have one night off Buffy, but you have to extend your patrol tomorrow night, alright?” She quickly agreed.
“Come on Xan, I’ll walk you home since Cordy is taking her car home. Angel, would you mind walking Wills home?”
“Of course not,” he replied. He helped Willow gather her things. They said their goodbyes to Giles and left the school.
They were walking in companionable silence until they reached her front door. Before she went inside she paused, and faced Angel.
“I’m sorry,” she said regretfully.
“About what Willow?” he asked, thoroughly confused.
“That Buffy made you walk me home. I mean, she refuses to believe that I can walk home by myself. I’ve lived in Sunnydale a lot longer than she has and I’m still alive. Anyway, I’m just sure that you have something you would rather be doing than watching over me,” she babbled.
“Will,” he interrupted, “I don’t mind walking you home. I feel better knowing you’re safe, but I know you can take care of yourself.” She smiled at his confession.
“Thanks Angel, goodnight,” she said as she went inside and closed the door. Angel left her home, and cut through the park to meet up with Buffy at Xander’s house. He knew she would be waiting for him there. She didn’t have to patrol tonight but she still wanted to stay out, have some quiet time away from home.
He and Buffy left Xander’s home and strolled along the empty streets. Things had been quiet as of late so they were simply enjoying the reprieve. Buffy placed her hand on Angel’s forearm to stop him in mid-stride. The slayer got the distinct feeling that a very powerful vampire was near. She found the stake she hid in her jacket pocket and gripped it tightly. She looked ahead of her in time to see a menacing figure approach from the darkness.
Angel growled at the sight of the bleach blonde in front of them. Spike would have to show up now, wouldn’t he? Buffy noticed Angel tense and glanced at him. He knew this demon. Buffy stood in a fighting stance as the stranger continued to study the two of them.
“Who are you?” she asked after an awkward silence.
“Who do you want to me to be?” he responded with a smirk.
“Right now, I just want you to be dust.”
“So unoriginal,” he sighed and moved his gaze to Angel. “Why did you ever get involved with this one Angelus?” Buffy’s eyes widened at Angel’s old name, she knew these two had a past.
“What do you want boy?” Angel asked in a low, authoritative voice.
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist sire, I’m not here to kill your girl. I just came for what’s mine.”
“You’re delusional, she’s not who you think she is. Leave her alone, or I will kill you myself,” he warned.
“Don’t make empty threats sire,” he replied as he disappeared into the shadows. Angel stood stalk still, waiting to move until he was sure he was gone.
“Angel?” Buffy questioned, “Who was that?” she asked curiously.
“Come on,” he responded, tugging on her hand, “We have to go back to the library, now! We’ll pick up Willow and Xander on the way.”
“Why?” she asked urgently, “What’s going on?!”
“I can’t tell you now, not yet. We *have* to get the others,” he declared, dragging Buffy down the street. Thoroughly bewildered, the slayer allowed her boyfriend to pull her along.
Part 5:
Giles waited for the children and the vampire to get settled before asking Angel what was so important. Buffy was beginning to become upset, knowing he was keeping things from her.
Angel glanced wearily at Willow before starting his speech. He decided it would be best to focus solely on Giles.
“Buffy and I ran into someone I used to know tonight…”
“Oh stop it Angel,” Buffy replied, annoyed that he couldn’t get to the point. “He wasn’t just some acquaintance, you knew him well. Even I could tell that much. And he kept calling you sire, what was with that?” Giles straightened at her last statement.
“You made him?” he asked. Angel nodded grimly. “Who was it Angel, there were a couple of names in the Watcher’s Diaries of your childer. Which one is he?”
“William, he was also called William the Bloody,” Giles’ blood began to run cold, “But he goes by Spike now…” Angel looked at Willow quickly, trying to detect any looks of recognition on her face. There was none, only curiosity.
“Bloody hell…” Giles mumbled.
“Why are you so stressed G-man?” asked Xander. “No big deal right, we find, Buffy slays, and then we party, right?” Giles shook his head.
“This vampire, Spike, he’s legendary Xander. They call him the slayer of slayers. He’s fought two and killed them both. He’s known for his brutality. He got his name by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. He’s no one to be trifled with.” A silence descended over the group.
“He…uh,” broke in Buffy, “He said he wasn’t after me. That’s what he told Angel. He just said he was here to take what was his.”
“Is that true?” questioned the librarian as he brought his attention back to Angel.
“Um, yeah, he isn’t after Buffy. But he’s not opposed to killing her, if she gets in his way.”
“What is it he is after? I assume you know what he was talking about.” Angel shifted nervously on his feet.
“Can I talk with you privately Rupert?” he pleaded. The watcher looked surprised but agreed and they went into his office.
Willow, Xander, and Buffy were left inside the library. Buffy and Xander were in the middle of a rather boring discussion about the toupee their math teacher wore when Willow decided to go and get something for the three of them to snack on since it seemed they would be here for awhile. She walked into the dark hallway, following a familiar path as she reached the cafeteria where the various vending machines were. She put in her money and waited for her purchases to drop. She froze at a very soft noise, it almost sounded like whispering.
She turned, looking the room over. Shadows covered the entire space, leaving nothing distinguishable. She started when she heard a woman’s laugh. She spun around only to come face to face with a woman who she’d never met, but in her soul she felt she knew. She was quite beautiful, with long dark hair in soft curls. Her dress was almost Victorian in nature, and her eyes held a childlike playfulness.
“W-Who are y-you?” she asked timidly. The woman merely smiled.
“Family, my dear,” was her response. “I have missed you so poppet.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Willow replied, “I-I don’t know who you a-are…”
“But you will…” she said cryptically. She placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and began chanting, but the redhead could not make out the words. The strange woman smiled and faded into the shadows.
Willow shook her head, trying to get rid of the weird feeling she had, as she hurriedly grabbed her food and practically ran into the library. She pushed herself through the doors and fell into a chair at the table. Giles and Angel had returned from the watcher’s office, Giles looked shocked and extremely worried. Angel was looking only at the floor. Buffy and Xander seemed absolutely oblivious to the tension in the room.
“So,” broke in the ever tactless Xander, “let’s get researching on our new pal Spike.”
Willow was glad she was sitting down, because when Xander finished his sentence, the redhead was bombarded with images she couldn’t make heads or tails of. And they all focused on herself, and a man, her William, her Spike…
Part 6:
Willow came back to reality when she heard her name being called. She finally looked up, noticing the worried faces of her friends.
“You ok there Wills?” Xander asked, kneeling before her.
“Yeah,” she replied softly. She shook her head, trying to get her bearings back. “I’m fine, just…dizzy. Maybe I haven’t gotten enough sleep.” Xander seemed to accept her answer and he got up and returned to his seat.
“Maybe I should take Willow home,” suggested Angel. “It is the middle of the night and she’s no good to us tired,” he teased playfully. Giles nodded and Willow began to gather her things. Buffy and Xander continued their research on the new, mysterious vampire as the watcher suggested.
“This feels vaguely familiar,” said Willow, breaking the deafening silence as they walked to her home. Angel felt the ghost of a smile appear on his face.
“Are you sure you’re alright? You looked kind of out of it back there.”
“I’m…fine, I don’t know. It was weird.” She hesitated, not knowing whether to tell him about her strange encounter with the woman in the cafeteria.
“What was weird?” he pressed on. By now they were standing on her porch. She turned to face him, a look of concentration on her face.
“Promise not to tell Buffy, it would worry her,” she pleaded. At his nod, she continued, “Well, when I went to get something for all of us to eat, I ran into to…someone. I don’t know, I’ve never seen her before, I know that, but she seemed so familiar. She scared me, but at the same time she tried to be kind, comforting. And she said some things…”
“What did she say?” he asked when she stopped, worry beginning to cloud his voice.
“She said we were family, I told her I didn’t know who she was, and then she said I would. After that she left.” She shrugged; she really didn’t have much to go on.
“Will,” he asked softly, “what did she look like?” Her brow furrowed, trying to recall what the stranger looked like.
“Well Angel, it was really dark, but I would say that she was probably 5’7”, really dark brown hair, in soft curls. She spoke very quietly, she seemed pale. Oh! And she was wearing this long dress, lots of lace. Almost Victorian.” Angel’s worst fears were confirmed as she described his insane childe.
“You should get inside Will, get some sleep. I’m sure everything is okay,” he assured her. She reached for her keys and let herself in, but before she closed her door, she paused.
“Angel…” he turned around, halting his retreat, “before she left, I swear I heard chanting. I couldn’t make out what she said, though. And I got, I got flashes. I don’t know what they were, but I kept seeing people. That woman, you, and some man, none of it makes any sense.” Angel didn’t know what to tell her.
“I’m sure it was nothing Will, don’t worry,” he gave her a weak smile and left. She frowned at his answer and went inside, closing the front door. She never saw the couple that made there way from behind the bushes in front of her home and toward her bedroom window.
Spike waited until he knew his sire was gone before speaking.
“What did you do Dru?” he hissed. She smiled.
“I’m making her remember. It will take time, but she will remember it all.”
“It’s not dangerous; it won’t hurt her, right?”
“I would never hurt her,” she exclaimed. “I’m just helping my little poppet remember who she is, who she was. Then things will be as they should be.” She kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand. “I’ll leave you to watch your princess Spike…” she drawled as she walked away.
He smiled slightly and watched his redhead as she laid down in her bed, readying herself for sleep; she never noticed the intense blue eyes that watched her every move.
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