Title: Troubling Past
Author: Jami
Email: aresangel1@yahoo.com
Pairing: S/W
Rating: pg 13
Summary: Willow has a secret but it’s hard to keep concealed now that the Scooby gang has a new, but reluctant guest.
Spoilers: Takes place in Season 4 but it’s pretty different. A reference to ‘Lover’s Walk’ but that too is changed.
Author’s Notes: Might be a little confusing at first, but this story contains a drastic change in the events of ‘Lover’s Walk’. It will become clearer, I promise.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I promise!
Feedback: I live for it!
1/?
Willow tried to forget the hell that was this week as she sunk onto the mattress of her bed. Oz had left days ago, ‘for her own good’. Please, he wasn’t leaving to help her; he was leaving because he didn’t want to be with her. They were over before he left town. He forgot all about her the second Veruca showed up. He may have loved her, but the she-wolf called to him. She would never be enough for him, no matter how much she wished it so.
As if her week hadn’t been bad enough, they had a secretive group of commandos to deal with and they were no closer to finding out whom they were. Buffy was trying her best to get information on the mystery men, but she was a bit distracted. After all, she had a brand new boyfriend to keep her busy. In reality she was very happy for her friend, but it hurt to see everyone, even Giles, in some sort of relationship while she was alone.
Then there was Spike. He showed up at her dorm room, intent on killing Buffy after their fight for the Gem of Amara. But of course the slayer wasn’t there and he jumped at the opportunity to kill one of her friends instead. The redhead fought through her depression to fight the bleach blonde for her life, but it turned out he couldn’t bite her. Oh sure, he tried to reassure her, tell her that she was very bite-able, and he did make her smile a bit, but still she felt undesired. Then the commandos came storming into her room and somehow through the mayhem both she and Spike escaped. She didn’t know where he went, and at this point she didn’t care. She had been attacked a total of three times that week and it was beginning to grate on her nerves.
She groaned as she forced herself to stand once again. She went to her desk and turned on her computer, waiting patiently for it to boot up. She had an uninvite spell to find. She really didn’t want Spike to have an all access pass to her and Buffy’s room, even if he couldn’t bite her. It would make it easier to sleep at night knowing he had no way in. After all, she had distinct memories from the last time she and Spike were in such close quarters and really didn’t want *that* happening again. She bit her lip as she tried to forget that night in the factory.
She was pretty sure he didn’t remember a thing from that night considering he was completely plastered. That was news of the good in her opinion. She had never told Buffy about everything that happened that night and even Xander didn’t know all of what went on, he was passed out through most of their ordeal, brave man that he was. He never saw how sad Spike was, how miserable the vampire seemed. She could still remember his head on her shoulder as he poured his heart out, him nuzzling her neck, talking about how good she smelled, and his hands…no she wasn’t going to think about it! It was pretty obvious that Spike didn’t remember what he did-what they did. Maybe that was for the best. She never wanted Buffy to know about—she didn’t even know what to call it. It wasn’t an ‘affair’ or anything; she figured it could be considered a ‘one-night stand’. Whatever it was, it was in the past and no one needed to know about her ‘thing’ with Spike.
She just wished that the undead idiot would just stay gone! He said he was going to leave after he helped send Angelus to hell, and he did. But then he came back and they all knew how well that turned out, with the kidnapping, the threats, bottle-in-face. Then he left again, out to get Drusilla back. Does he stay gone? Noooo…he comes back again! This time with Harmony, she thought with a grimace. Bitch. She wasn’t jealous or anything, she just hated the vacuous airhead. Anyway, he came back for the Gem of Amara, which he found and then lost. And now, now he was still in Sunnydale, still trying to kill them all. He had a problem…performing last night, but he was still very much a danger. She just wanted him to leave, permanently. She’d be perfectly happy if she never saw him again.
Searching all her files, she frowned. She couldn’t find the spell she needed. Knowing Giles had a copy she sighed and stood, grabbing her keys. It was a little before sunset so she would have enough time to walk to his apartment before all the vamps came out for the night. Stuffing a stake in her coat pocket, just in case, she left her dorm.
Willow almost knocked on his front door before she heard the arguing from inside. She pushed open the door slightly. Xander and Anya were sitting on the couch. Anya looked completely bored as she studied her nails but Xander looked furious. Buffy was standing beside her watcher, looking on edge as she glanced at Giles for some help.
“You’re insane!” declared Xander, staring daggers at the slayer.
“Xander,” admonished Giles, furiously cleaning his glasses, “we need him here. He may know something. It’s obvious he’s harmless.”
“Guys?” interrupted Willow, causing the group to turn their attention to the amateur witch. “What’s the matter?”
“What’s the matter, Wills? I’ll *show* you what’s the matter,” Xander ranted as he jumped up from the couch. He grabbed the redhead’s hand and pulled her with him down the hall and swung open the bathroom door. He walked inside, her hand still in his as he gestured to the bathtub before them. “*That’s* what is the matter!”
She couldn’t keep the surprise off her face as she saw Spike chained in Giles’ tub, glaring angrily at the boy beside her. He looked gaunt and extremely tired and it was quite clear he did *not* want to be there.
“Um, Giles, what is Spike doing locked up in your bath?” she asked hesitantly. Blue eyes locked on her own when she spoke, a smirk firmly planted on his lips as the redhead made her presence known.
“Complaining mostly,” the former librarian answered with an exhausted sigh. He gave Xander a pointed look and the young brunette left the small room quietly and Willow followed him with one last look at Spike. She blushed as he licked his lips and returned her stare with an intense gaze of his own. She turned away and hurried out of the bathroom.
“He can’t hurt anyone,” Buffy informed her. Willow nodded, she knew that firsthand. “We think he could be the key in finding out about our commandos. He says he was taken by them into some underground facility. We need his help, and he can’t feed himself, so we made a deal. We give him blood,” she replied with a shudder, “and he gives us answers. The chains are just an added bonus.”
“I don’t care that he’s harmless,” commented Xander with palpable disgust, “since when did we cater to the fangy undead?”
“Stop it, now,” said the watcher firmly. “He’s staying, he can help, *you* can get over it. You think I want him here? I would love nothing more than to stake him or leave him outside and wait for the bloody sun to take care of him, but the fact is we need him.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, “but I want it noted that I don’t like this. Come on An,” he added, holding his hand out to his girlfriend. She slipped her hand in his and stood, following him out the front door as he called out an abrupt goodbye.
“Well that was fun,” groaned Buffy as she put on her leather jacket and slipped a couple stakes into the hidden pockets. “I’m off to patrol. You coming, Will?”
“Can’t. I’ve got to do some research and look for some computer disks I left here. I’ll see you back at home.” The slayer smiled.
“You gonna be okay with Fangless, here?” she asked Giles, concern etched on her face.
“Hmmm? Oh, yes. We’ll be fine, go patrol,” he shooed her away and went into the kitchen. Buffy shrugged and waved to her friend as she left. Willow heard a loud beeping and recognized it as the microwave.
“Willow?” called the watcher. She went into the kitchen and gave him a questioning look. “Could you feed Spike? I assure you he’s harmless, but I have some urgent calls to make…” he looked to her imploringly. She looked at the ‘Kiss the Librarian’ mug and the straw in his hands. She couldn’t say no, but she really didn’t want to.
“Um, okay.” She took the cup in her hands and walked down the hall, hesitating before pushing the door open. She went inside, her head down, eyes focused on the floor as she kneeled by the edge of the bathtub. She forced herself to look up but refused to look him in the eye. She silently brought the mug closer to his mouth and put the straw to his lips.
“Draw the short end of the stick, love?” he drawled, loving the effect he had on her. She didn’t answer but did look at him finally. He gave up trying to get a response from her and drank hungrily.
When he finished she rose to her feet and walked to the sink. She threw the straw away, her mouth twisted into a frown as she tried not to get any blood on her. She turned on the water and rinsed the mug, smiling a bit when it was finally clean. She turned off the faucet and took the mug with her. She was about to leave but pivoted to face the imprisoned vampire.
“Do you-” she stammered. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for the girl to continue. “Do you need anything?”
“Depends. You offerin’?” he replied with a leer. She blushed and practically ran from the room. He smiled to himself, growling as he shifted and the chains that bound him tightened. He may hate where he was right now, loathe the fact that there was something preventing him from feeding, but there was a certain advantage to his current situation. He got to mess with the little witch. He knew she thought he couldn’t remember a thing from the night he kidnapped her, he was wasted after all. But he remembered it all, and he had plans for his little witch.
2/?
Willow was not thrilled about Giles’ new houseguest. Spike tried to kill her the night before, and now she had to play nice and feed him. She understood why they needed him, she wasn’t as unreasonable as Xander, but she hated it nonetheless. He always caused trouble and she was sure this time wasn’t going to be any different. She would just do her best to avoid him and pray he would leave when they were done with him.
She had left the apartment soon after feeding Spike and went home to rest. She didn’t bother with the uninvite spell since the object of her concern was currently chained in a bathtub. She tucked herself under the covers and closed her eyes, willing herself into a dreamless sleep.
Unfortunately she didn’t get her wish. Her time spent with the blonde vampire brought back memories that had not yet faded. She wasn’t dreaming, really. She was remembering. She was in the factory. Xander was in a heap, bleeding from a head wound, resting in the corner of the burnt out building. She was lying on the bed that dominated the entire space, dazed and quite confused. Her red hair was fanned out, her skin flushed as she panted heavily. There was a body curled around hers, a mouth nuzzling her neck lovingly as they rested from a tempestuous coupling. She heard a purring coming from the man beside her which was strangely comforting. She was nervous, but not particularly scared, not anymore at least. She stirred a bit and felt him move closer, pinning her underneath him as he placed kisses at the base of her neck. She could hear his muffled whispers in her ear, seemingly calling her name.
Willow…Willow… “Willow!” a shout woke her from her sleep and she turned to face the person speaking to her.
“What?” she mumbled, only slightly coherent.
“You okay? You were moaning, sounded like a nightmare.” Buffy explained, speaking slowly knowing her friend was disoriented. She quickly changed into her pajamas and climbed into her own bed.
“Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. You were right…nightmare…” she murmured before turning over and fluffing her pillow. “Night Buff.”
“Night Wills, sweet dreams.” If only she knew, thought Willow as she drifted back into unconsciousness.
“Where’s Giles?” asked Willow as she waltzed into the librarian’s home, dropping her backpack onto the floor by the coat rack.
“In the back feeding Junior,” grumbled Xander before returning his attention to the book he was reading half-heartedly.
“Junior?” inquired the witch as she sat at the dining room table, setting up her laptop in preparation for their upcoming research session. Buffy glared at Xander before responding.
“He used to call Angel Deadboy, remember? So he didn’t want to call Spike the same name, so now he’s gone to calling him Deadboy Junior, Junior for short.” Willow shot her friend a sympathetic look, knowing even mentioning Angel’s name was hard for her and Xander wasn’t making things any easier.
“Very mature, Xand,” chided the redhead. “Behave,” she warned him. The brunette pouted a bit but remained silent.
“He doesn’t have to behave,” argued Anya, “besides, if he’s bad, then I can punish him. That sounds fun, Xander. Be bad so I can punish you…”
“An! Not now,” he begged, turning beet red.
“Ugh, so much more than I ever needed to hear,” complained Willow, Buffy grinned and shot her an understanding look.
“Willow!” called a voice from down the hall. She stood slowly and left to join Giles in the bathroom as Xander and Anya bickered and Buffy looked on, bored to tears.
“You bellowed,” she said as she stepped into the room, completely ignoring Spike’s presence, focusing totally on the watcher who stared at the vampire in utter frustration.
“Ah, Willow, yes. I believe that I am in need of your assistance. Spike here has been…less than cooperative,” he confided with a frown as the blonde smirked. “I was thinking of using a truth spell. That way we could find out everything he knows without bloodshed. It would take forever to get ash out of my carpet, after all.” Spike grumbled a bit at the not-so-subtle warning.
“Sure, I think that would work. It’s simple enough, too. I’d have to go by the magic shop. I don’t think I have any of the supplies on hand. When would you need it done?”
“As soon as possible, I suppose. I’d like to be able to use the bathroom without having to drag him around the bleeding house.”
“You could just let me go, Rupes,” added Spike, “Can’t exactly hurt anybody, now can I? What’s the harm in letting a bloke go free?”
“I won’t let you go because you would probably skip town and unfortunately we need your information now.”
“Really Giles, where’s he gonna go? He obviously doesn’t know exactly what happened to him. If he ran off, then he may not ever figure out what those Army guys did to him.”
“She’s right, watcher. Not about to leave this sodding town until I find out what those gits did and have it reversed. So be a pal and let Spike out of the bloody shackles.”
“Maybe in time, but not yet,” decided the older gentleman. He stood, gathering the cup he brought Spike’s blood in and leaving to join the others. Willow remained, studying the blonde, concern in her eye.
“Are you miserable?” she asked softly. She didn’t know why she was worried about his well-being. He may be a pain in the ass, but she always liked him, which was strange considering he spent most of his time trying to kill her and her friends. But after seeing him so dejected after Dru left him, after seeing how caring he could be, she couldn’t help but feel for him. Damn her and her compassionate nature, she just couldn’t help it.
Spike merely shrugged. “Been in chains longer than this, but it ain’t exactly a picnic, pet.” She frowned and he observed her closely. She felt bad for him. That information, although surprising, was encouraging. Maybe he could con her into unchaining him soon when the watcher was out.
“Is it lonely in here? I mean, just sitting here all day and night without anyone to talk to?”
“Was never big on conversation, ducks. More of an action man, myself,” he replied with a toothy grin. “But of course you would know that, wouldn’t you?” he continued, biting his lip and looking her straight in the eye. She began to become a little nervous at his tone of voice.
“I-I don’t know w-what you’re talking about,” she sputtered. He smirked.
“Sure you don’t. Forget I mentioned it,” he drawled with false sincerity.
“Uh, yeah, it’s forgotten,” she said with a nod before turning away and leaving him alone once again.
“No worries, love. I’ll make you remember,” he vowed as he attempted to find some comfortable position in the damn tub.
Willow sat herself back down at the table with her trusty computer in front of her. She shook herself out of her Spike-induced haze and tried her best to focus on her newest task. Finding a truth spell.
3/?
It had been three days since Giles’ request that Willow find a truth spell. Things around the watcher’s home had been busy. Buffy spent most of her time patrolling, looking for any sightings of the mysterious commandos. Xander and Anya did what they did best…nothing. Giles spent hours trying to get Spike to cooperate, without any success. The way the blonde dodged the watcher’s questions would make one think he wanted to be stuck with their little group. After all, he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. And Willow remained at her laptop.
She found a possible spell that could be used, but she was slightly apprehensive. Her magic wasn’t the most reliable and she couldn’t afford to screw this up. Giles always kept her on a tight leash when it came to magic and is she messed this up he may forbid her from practicing entirely. But she was an adult, and incredibly intelligent if she might say so herself. She didn’t need his permission. She would do this and it would work properly and all would be well.
Then there was the matter of the ingredients. The local shop, the Magic Box, was currently closed due to the mysterious disappearance of its owner. Another victim claimed by the hellmouth, sadly. She informed the watcher of their little snag and he quickly came up with a solution.
He would go into Los Angeles, without telling Buffy of course, just for the day. There were plenty of stores of mystical origin in the city. So he would pick up any supplies needed and be back before nightfall. All in all a good plan, well, in theory.
Problem with living on the hellmouth, nothing *ever* goes as planned. So it was a Saturday when Giles decided to make his day trip. He knew Buffy was wrapped up in Riley so she couldn’t watch Spike, not that the vampire could actually go anywhere, he just didn’t trust him. Besides he really didn’t want to have to explain where he was going to the inquisitive slayer.
He thought about asking Xander to vamp sit, but knowing the boy, he would bring Anya with him and spend more time concentrating on her than the vampire he was there to watch. So that only left Willow. He felt a bit bad just dumping it on her, considering the fact that she was always the one who had to shoulder all the responsibility. But she simply took it in stride, although she didn’t seem particularly enthused. In fact she looked down right dismayed at the thought of spending time with the bleach blonde. He could sympathize though, after all, he lived with the prat.
So he waited patiently for the redhead to arrive at his house. It was about two in the afternoon, which he believed left him plenty of time for the few hours’ worth of driving to and from the city as well as the shopping time. What still lingered on his mind was the reaction he got from the vampire when he told him about who would be staying with him for the day. More precisely, it was the lack of reaction that had him a bit stunned. Usually Spike would complain for hours about whatever ‘daft bint’ or ‘whiny git’ was forced to watch him. But this morning he simply nodded and turned his attention back to the television that had been moved into the bathroom to shut him up. Curious.
Hearing the timid knock on his front door, he stood and smiled brightly at the young witch as she walked inside. He briefed her before leaving.
“Alright Willow, I should be back before six or seven in the evening. Buffy has been told to patrol as usual tonight without coming back here to check in, and Xander is…occupied with Anya so he shouldn’t be a bother. I’ll give you a ring if I think I’ll be any later. Uh, feed Spike whenever he starts to get hungry. I find he’s much easier to deal with when he has a full stomach. The key to his chains are in the desk drawer, right hand side, not that you’ll need it. If he starts to get mouthy just ignore him-”
“I get it, Giles,” she interrupted sweetly, seeing how he seemed not to be close to finishing anytime soon. “It’s no big deal. He’s locked up, what can he do? No worries, okay?” He chuckled and agreed. She waved him goodbye as he climbed into his car and drove away.
She took a seat on the couch and concentrated on the pages in front of her as she immersed herself in her homework. School wasn’t really exciting right now, but she had nothing better to do. As the living room became progressively darker, she forced herself to look at the clock. Her eyes widened in surprise as she realized nearly three and a half hours had passed. Giles should be home within an hour or two.
Sighing, she placed her book bag onto the dining room table and looked around. She frowned when she realized that the TV was missing. She had finished most of her homework for the weekend and was looking forward to a few hours of mindless entertainment. He owned a television, she knew he did, but it had disappeared. She turned to walk into the hall, hearing a soft murmuring and recognizing it as noise from the missing appliance.
Pushing open the door slightly she stuck her head into the bathroom almost laughing at the picture Spike made, chained to a bathtub watching Passions intently. Blue eyes looked to her, his eyebrow raised in a silent question.
“Looking for something, pet?” he inquired, “Or did ya just come here to ogle me?” He smirked when her face turned red and she looked away.
“Was looking for the TV,” she replied with a nervous smile. He always made her so uncomfortable. He shrugged.
“Nothing to do here all day, so I had Rupert bring me his telly.”
“And Giles just did what you asked?” she added skeptically.
“Uh, no, but I didn’t shut up until he did,” he admitted a bit sheepishly. She giggled. He saw that she was a bit more relaxed and smiled. He had a plan after all. She turned to leave, but his surprisingly soft voice stopped her. “Wait,” he said, forcing a pleading tone into his voice, “could you…could you stay? It gets a bit lonely here,” he confided, putting a sad smile onto his face. He saw her eyes soften a bit and knew she had bought it.
“Um, okay,” she relented, but she didn’t move from the doorway. “Are you hungry?”
“Feeling a bit peckish,” he said.
“Be right back,” she called as she left to the kitchen. Willow threw a blood packet in the microwave and leaned against the counter as she waited for it to finish heating. Her eyes fell to the desk a few feet away and she bit her lip. She didn’t know why she did it, but she slipped the key to Spike’s manacles into her pocket before returning to the kitchen and pouring the now warm blood into a mug and returning to the bathroom.
She kneeled on the floor next to Spike who stretched his neck uncomfortably to reach the straw. He glanced at her, seeing her furrowed brow, knowing she was thinking about something. He stopped his drinking and looked to her again.
“What’s going on inside that head of yours, love?” She jumped a bit at the sound of his voice, but shook herself out of her daze.
“I-I need you to promise me,” he looked confused but nodded hesitantly. “If…if I let you go, you have to promise to stay in this house and not try anything funny,” she warned with a pathetic glare. He raised a surprised eyebrow. He was hoping she would release him, but he didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“I swear, I’ll behave, on me mum’s life.” She snorted and rolled her eyes.
“Your ‘mum’ is dead Spike, and I’m betting you’re the one who killed her. Wanna try again?” He growled.
“I promise not to run away and wreak havoc. Good enough, Red?” She sighed and put his mug down before reaching into her pocket and removing the key.
“Don’t make me regret this,” she mumbled before unlocking the chains around his hands and ankles. He shook himself free from the irons and stood, stretching. He gave her a heart-stopping grin and hopped out of the bathtub, scooping up his cup of blood before striding out of the room. Willow followed him hurriedly. Spike fell onto the couch, stretching out on the soft cushions and groaning in relief.
“Thanks, pet. Needed that.” She smiled shakily and took a seat across from him. “So what was so important that the stuffy old watcher left the little girl to watch the Big Bad?” Her eyes narrowed but she remained congenial.
“I found the truth spell he wanted for you but the supplies can only be bought out of town, so he went to pick them up.” He frowned at the idea of a spell.
“I don’t know if I like mojo being used on me. Never trusted magic.”
“Uh huh,” she remarked sarcastically. “That’s why you came all the way here from Brazil and kidnapped me to have me perform a love spell, because you never trusted magic at all.” His eyes darkened at the mention of that night.
“Yeah, well, that’s when the spell isn’t performed on *me*,” he clarified. “Besides, who knows what kind of naughty little secrets might come out if I’m forced to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,” he finished dramatically. Her heartbeat accelerated but she displayed no outward signs of concern.
“Nobody wants to hear your secrets,” she stammered, “All we want is information on the commandos, not any sordid details from your centuries as a mass murderer.”
“Not just my secrets, you know,” he countered with a sly grin. He stood and stalked slowly to her seated form, kneeling in front of her now fidgeting body. “We all have nasty little secrets. Things we want to keep hidden from everyone. Because we’re ashamed, of what we did, of how it made us feel, because we want it back,” he purred and she leaned farther back into the chair to avoid looking him in the eye. She bit her lip. She was really beginning to doubt her theory that he didn’t remember anything from that night. That was just her luck.
Spike leaned in closer, stifling a triumphant smirk at her nervous expression. His hand reached out, brushing a curtain of red hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She unconsciously leaned into his touch. Catching herself, she attempted to pull away but his grip on her hair tightened and she couldn’t move.
“Tell me something, love. Was there ever something you did that you knew was wrong, but it felt so right? Something that you knew your mates wouldn’t approve of, if you ever told them. But you would do it again without question.”
“N-No, I don’t have secrets-s,” she answered lamely. He chuckled.
“Ah, you’re lying, Red. I can tell. Your heart’s beating so fast, you won’t look me in the eye. So easy to read…” he cocked his head to the side, as if he was considering something. “Or maybe you’re not lying. Maybe something else is making you so unsettled. What could it be, I wonder? What could possibly have the little witch in such a tizzy?” he whispered, his lips hovering over her own.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He watched her search for an answer with amusement before pulling her to him, kissing her deeply, leaving her breathless.
The sound of a ringing phone caused Willow to remember where she was and she pushed him away sharply, darting out of the chair. He stood slowly, watching her frantic movements out of the corner of his eye. He was beginning to love their little game.
“H-Hello?” choked out the flustered redhead.
“Willow? Are you alright?” asked the worried librarian on the other line.
“Hmmm? Oh, I’m f-fine.”
“Okay,” he replied, taking her word for it, “I’m afraid we have a bit of a problem. Nothing major, really, just a little delay.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I made to Los Angeles fine, and went by the store, picked up everything we need. But before I even made it back to the freeway my car sputtered and died. I am stuck in this god forsaken town for the night. I should be back tomorrow afternoon, but I have to ask if you could please stay with Spike, keep an eye on him until I get home?”
“Uh, um I guess that’s fine. Hurry back, okay?”
“Of course,” he added with a tired smile that she couldn’t see. “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye,” she hung up the phone, afraid to look back to the waiting vampire. She faced Spike, trying to think of how to tell him. What she wasn’t aware of was that the blonde heard everything the watcher said.
“Giles is going to be late, car trouble,” she told him, her voice lacking confidence. “He won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon. So I guess it’s just you and me tonight.” He smirked and eyed her.
“So it is…”
To be continued...
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