Summary:
Buffy gets to grips with some surprising changes as the potential slayers
invade her house.
Timeline: We settle into season 7 very loosely, and canon goes out of
the window as I mix up some past events and their outcomes.
Rating:NC17
Pairing: F/B
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, unfortunately. They
are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and
who-ever else owns them. I make no profit from this.
Chapter
One
I’m officially bored of these girls now. I was bored over a week ago, but they just keep coming. My house is now overrun with them and getting two minutes alone is becoming impossible. Giles says we have to give them shelter and protect them, I say let them find some other chump to put them up; we don’t have space, and I don’t have the patience for their squabbles and their constant questions.
I’ve tried my best, and even attempted to get to know them, but there’s too many now and I have to prepare for the saving of the world. . .again. The latest addition to the pack of potentials is driving us all insane. Giles calls her feisty, but most of us call her a pain in the butt. She’s been here four days and managed to annoy or upset nearly everyone, including me.
I thought Kennedy was bad with the questioning and the provoking, but this girl is seriously lacking in tact.
The other day she asked if Spike was the resident vampire for stake practice, wanting to know if it would be ok to take a shot and see if she could get it right first try. When I told her she couldn’t she asked me right out if I was screwing him. Of course, I said no. . .but not until after my jaw had hit the floor and my eyes did that threatening thing. I had no clue why she’d assumed that, I haven’t been with Spike in a long time and don’t plan to at any point in my future.
She just laughed, telling me she knew the score and that she’d keep it on the down low. I don’t want her to keep anything of mine on her down and lows, thank you very much. I told her as much and she just slapped me on the back and left the room, continuing to laugh.
It’s obvious she has no respect for authority, or at least mine.
Giles doesn’t seem to have too much trouble getting her to do what he wants,
but she just ignores me and the rest of the gang.
I can’t tell
I make my way around the house in search of her, stepping over kicked off shoes and discarded cups and plates, sleeping bags and blankets. I hear giggling and before I have time to move I’m being jostled aside by three girls chasing each other with a forlorn looking pillow. I just hope it isn’t mine.
Looking around doorways and into rooms full of potentials learning about beasties and baddies from Giles, Anya and Xander, I come to the conclusion she isn’t around. It makes me worry for a second because the girls aren’t meant to be going out alone. There are Bringers out there just waiting for their opportunity to strike, and the local vampire contingent has wind of fresh potential slayer blood. And I’m not even going to mention the new uber-vamp that we’ve recently been introduced to. Nope, I’ll leave him out for now, mainly because I’m still trying to work out how to kill him.
I’m about to ask if any of the girls have seen her, but then I spot movement in the back garden. I get closer to the window to take a better look. The sun is just getting ready to set, settling itself into that moment when the world looks all red and glow-y, like there’s a giant roaring fire somewhere off in the distance lighting up the sky.
Her dark hair is all straight and devoid of curls today. She’s moving her body into shapes and poses that I guess is some kind of Tai Chi. She looks calm, which is weird because since the moment she stepped through the front door she’s been anything but. I didn’t know she had it in her, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe Giles sees something I don’t; he keeps telling me she’s probably the next in line.
Watching for a few moments, subconsciously letting my body relax as if it’s mimicking hers, I marvel at the whole concept of ‘the slayer’. I mean, we’ve been around a long time. The slayer line keeps going, no matter what. I’ve seen it first hand. The night I died for Dawn - and the rest of the world - I caused Kendra to be called. We met once, but she was. . .well, she was a little weird. But still, we were both slayers, both existing together; so it was kinda neat.
We still chat on the phone now and then, and she knows what’s going down here. Her watcher is bringing her this way in the next few days to help out. I’ll be glad of the extra muscle, especially against uber-stinky-vamp. The whole thing baffles me, though. Maybe I’ve been doing it too long. I know I’ve survived longer than most slayers, and there’s never been an instance when there’s been two of us around at the same time. Things seem to have shifted, which is either good. . .or really bad.
Giles tells me not to worry. He says that hopefully - should anything happen to Kendra - the next slayer won’t be as young as I was. If it’s the ‘feisty’ girl outside then she’d be one of the oldest ever called. She’s eighteen; just a few months short of nineteen. It still seems young, but I guess I’m just getting jaded. She doesn’t act young, but I can’t tell if she’d ever make a good slayer. She seems so. . .raw; like she has too much energy inside her. She’s always joking around and purposefully irritating people. Xander says it’s her defence mechanism, but I just think he wants her hot little body.
I chuckle, imagining Anya chasing her around the garden trying to keep her away from her man. There would be a monumental battle of a tactless nature, endless jibes about sex and then possibly some mud wrestling in the flower patch.
Shaking my head free of the disturbing image I make my way to the back door. It’s time I tried to get her to step in line, or at least step somewhere near to the line so we don’t have to toss her out to fend for herself. I wouldn’t do that of course, but the thought is tempting. It would be one less girl in the queue for the bathroom at least.
“Faith,” I call, waiting for her to finish her set of moves before beckoning her over.
There’s something about her that I can’t quite work out. It’s like she has a million secrets and a thousand stories. Her dark eyes seem like they’ve crossed time and space and hold everything in the universe within them, yet I can’t see anything when she looks at me. She hides it all. She keeps us all on the outside peering in; only showing us the dimpled grin and the flirty eyebrows.
I’ve known her four days, but I have no idea who she is. I know the girl that tells jokes and says things to me to get me to blush. I know the girl that likes to jump around and cause mischief and generally make Giles’ hair turn more gray by the minute. I know the girl that has that walk that makes it seem like she’s seducing the ground beneath her feet. . .but I don’t know her. I don’t know Faith.
I do know she’s a potential, she’s rowdy and exhausting, she’s attractive and confident with it, infuriating but eager and smart, crude but sometimes kinda funny. . .and she’s shrouded in something that seems almost dangerous. When she looks at me sometimes, I feel a tingle right in the middle of my stomach. If I didn’t know any better I’d say she was some kind of weird vampire ‘cause I don’t get tingles there from anything but vampires, but she’s not. . .she’s just her. And I really don’t know what to make of her.
“Hey, B,” she says in her husky drawl, stalking her way towards me.
I don’t know who told her she could give me a nickname, but I haven’t gotten around yet to telling her to stop using it.
She stops before me, her skin glistening with a light sheen of perspiration, the tattoo on her arm looking darker with its damp cloak. It takes me a second to lift my eyes from it to hers, and I realise I’ve completely forgotten what it is I was going to say to her. A puzzled look crosses her face as I just stand gaping at her like a mounted fish.
“You need something, B?” she asks and I blink a few times, trying to
remember what
I shake off my daze and furrow my brow. She’s got that expression on her face that tells me she’s thinking lewd thoughts and wants to share them to embarrass me. I certainly know that much about her. She does it to most people that react, and unfortunately she seems to enjoy mostly doing it to me. I have no clue if she’s gay, straight, bi or whatever. . .but she has an uncanny way of making it seem like she’s happy to tease or seduce anybody.
She doesn’t mess with the younger girls or Dawn, she obviously has some standards, but the rest of us have been fair game to her, and now it appears like she’s decided I’m the most fun to play with. She got bored of toying with Xander’s obvious attraction to her when Anya brought up the fact she used to be a nasty vengeance demon. I don’t know what she thinks she’ll achieve with me, but I’m pretty sure it’s not what she imagines.
I can appreciate the fact she’s a very good looking girl, and I mean
very in the extremely sense, but. . .I’ve never
strayed across that particular line.
“I need to talk to you, Faith,” I tell her, finding a little squeak to my voice that hadn’t been there before. I ignore it and move back into the kitchen hoping she’ll follow.
“I kinda got that much, B,” she chuckles, hopping up onto the counter top. “What can I do for ya?”
I don’t know how, but she made that sound rude. I choose to pretend I didn’t hear her and poke around in the fridge for something to drink.
“Dammit, why is there never any soda left for me? This is my house, I should get first dibs,” I sigh, shoving food this way and that.
“You just don’t know how to look, princess,” Faith tells me, giving me yet another nickname.
I’m not sure if it’s a good nickname or bad. If she’s being sarcastic then I’m going with bad, and I’m so gonna be pissed.
“I’m looking with every looking skill I have, Faith. There’s no soda.” I close the fridge and watch as she jumps from the counter.
She heads towards the basement and I follow. Either she’s ignoring me and going to see Spike, or trying to show me something. She stops next to the basement door and opens an unused cupboard that’s hidden away at the side, digging around in there as I wait. I didn’t think it still opened let alone held anything of interest. With a grin, all dimples and lips, she jiggles two chilly looking bottles of soda at me.
I raise an eyebrow. She’s been here just a few days and already has a place to stash stuff? Maybe she’s not as bad as I thought. In fact, she gets a gold star today ‘cause she’s giving me one of her sodas and I really need a cool drink right now.
“Thanks,” I say, my smile genuine. “How did you. . ?”
“Thought it would come in handy to find a place to keep stuff. Lotta girls here all taking and snatching and leaving me with nothing, and nobody much comes back here on account of the vamp downstairs,” she explains, the remnants of a grin still gracing her lips .
I chuckle and shake my head. The rest of the girls won’t come back here, even Kennedy, yet Faith has no problem strolling downstairs and chatting to Spike when everybody else starts getting annoyed with her. She’s certainly. . .different.
“And you even have ice in there,” I nod appreciatively, taking the top off my ice cold soda.
“Yep, got a bucket of ice. It melts pretty quick but does the job.” She swigs half her bottle and wipes the back of her hand over her mouth. “Hope I can trust you not to give the game away, or take too many of my goodies,” she says with a wink.
I pause, wondering if I should tell her that technically whatever’s in the cupboard is actually mine due to the fact it’s in my house, but her smile leaves me without anything to say so I let it pass.
“As long as I can have the occasional bottle of soda, you’re secret’s safe with me. Just don’t tell Spike, he’s bad at keeping secrets and he can’t keep his hands off things that aren’t his,” I say a little bitterly, then take a nice long chug of my drink.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I heard,” she says, looking directly at me; like. . .right into my eyes. “He told me a few secrets, but don’t worry. . .they’re not going anywhere but up here.” She points to her head and there’s a mischievous bounce of her eyebrows.
I almost spit my soda right back out. He surely wouldn’t have told her about us. And I mean the past us of the icky kind that I really want to forget about. Oh God, I can just imagine him recounting the gory details with that evil grin on his face, licking his lips and gloating. I’m so gonna beat him up. . .but that might just turn him on and I’m staying far away from that little problem.
“You really shouldn’t spend time with him, Faith,” I warn. “He’s still a vampire, even if he is a little. . .incapable right now.”
“Not what I heard,” she says, her eyes roaming over me and making me shudder.
I shake the feeling, passing it off as meaning I feel gross for having to think about me and Spike. She chuckles and I narrow my eyes. Like I said before, I don’t know this girl. She’s not my friend. She’s not even somebody I would want to make my friend, so why the hell am I even talking to her? I’m done with being irritated by her for today.
“Just stay away from him, Faith,” I say sternly, thudding my half empty bottle down on the counter. I’m about to walk away and be done with the conversation when I recall my reason to even be here. “Oh, and stop winding Kennedy up, it’s getting too much. If I have to hear her tell me one more time that you’ve moved her stuff, or left her boots out or looked at her ‘funny’ then I’m gonna kick your ass.”
She nods, a little smirk drifting over her full lips. “Sure thing, boss,” she says.
I stare at her for a moment, trying to think of more to say. Trying to look past those dark eyes so I can see if she’s understood me. I see nothing but chocolate brown and a lifetime of knowing how to get her way. I know right then that she doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to, or anything without a reason. The whole pissing everybody off deal is for a reason. . .I don’t know how I can see it but I can. I don’t know why she does it but she does.
There’s a lot to learn about Faith, and I’m not even sure if I want to go there. Why would I? She’s just another potential. Just one of the bunch. . .even if I did make sure I knew her name right away, and instantly realised her eyes were brown and her dimples were cute. She’s just one of them; getting in my way and hogging my bathroom.
“There’s a padlock in the second drawer down over there if you wanna lock your cupboard,” I say, not turning around.
I’m not sure why I told her, but I can almost feel her smile as I leave the room and go looking for my jacket. I have the urge to hunt, and there are plenty of vampires roaming around right now for me to vent on. They’re crawling out of the woodwork and trying to figure out what’s going on, and I’m right there to show them the way.
I slip on my boots and make sure my stake is happily tucked away in my jacket. I know Giles doesn’t like me going out alone right now, but I’m the slayer and that’s my duty. There may be a whole lot of messed up stuff going on, but there are still vampires to dust and demons to kill.
Glancing back towards the house as I make my way into the oncoming night, I notice a figure stood at the living room window. It’s Faith, watching me leave. She doesn’t move and she knows I’ve seen her. I stand for a moment, just looking. She unnerves me and I don’t quite yet know why. I could go with the obvious and say she’s a spy and working for the bad guys, or that she’s some kinda demon, or ex demon maybe, but I know she’s none of the above.
I feel her eyes locked on me and find it hard to pull away. Maybe a few mindless killings will make me feel less. . .strange. She turns away before I do and I feel kind of cheated. If she’s going to creep me out she could at least watch me leave properly; like all the way. I’m not even across the street yet.
Maybe she is a demon, sent to torture me before everything goes to hell with the new big bad. Maybe I need to stop thinking so much. I’m not stupid after all. . .I know what’s going on in my head. Well, maybe not my head; I think the cause is a little further down. Still, it’s throwing me for a loop and I don’t have time to deal with new feelings or experiences. I don’t have time to deal with Faith, and whatever it is she’s making me feel.
I’ll put an end to it right now. No more possibly, maybe, almost definitely thinking she’s hot and all kinds of sexy. I need to focus. She’s here for me to protect her not for me to have new and interesting thoughts about her. Suddenly feeling all gay - and not in the happy sense – is not going to get the job done, and I’m all about getting the job done.
I stride off into the darkness, sure that I can avoid any thoughts of Faith from now on. In fact, I’ll avoid her altogether and that way I get to stay safe in my straightness, and she gets to stay unaware of how smoking hot my crazy mind has us looking together all of a sudden.
* * *
When I get back from a fairly uneventful night of slayage I walk in to find all kinds of hell going on. Not of the demon kind, but of the Faith kind. I stride into the center of an argument and wait for them all to quiet down, hands on hips with my best glare in place.
“
“I’m not sure. One minute it was all peaceful, well, as peaceful as
it ever gets around here now. . .and then the next,
Faith and Rona are squaring off against each other and the rest of them are
yelling and screaming, and then I started to hiccup and came over here to sit
down out of the way. And then you got here,”
“Ok, so. . .” I look between Rona and Faith as they continue to
stare threateningly at each other, “so far I get that you two are acting like nine
year olds and you scared
Rona turns to me and points at Faith. “She started it,” she says.
“No I didn’t,” Faith whines, her cocky attitude all on show. “She got all up in my face.”
“Right, so you both really are nine years old and I’m gonna have to take your treats away? Seriously guys, this is pathetic,” I sigh.
I’m sick of the squabbling. I’ve had enough of that living with Dawn all her life. This is like a bad replay of one of our most childish arguments. I hold the bridge of my nose, understanding now why Giles does it so often. I just want to bang their heads together.
“Do I have to bang your heads together?” I ask, glancing between them both.
Faith is smirking but Rona looks livid.
“It’s cool, B,” Faith says in that thick accent that comes out when she’s trying to smooth things over or get her way. “It’s over now. We’re just wicked antsy having to sit around all the time. It kinda makes you itch to just get out n party or dance. . .or fuck.”
She looks right at me when she says it and I can see the heads shaking all around me at Faith’s crudeness. I don’t blush this time but I can’t turn my eyes away from hers; I know I have to tell her to behave, though.
“You won’t be going out anywhere to do any of those things for quite some time, Faith, so get used to it. We’re all in the same boat here, so stop fucking rocking it,” I caution her coldly.
I take a deep breath and glare at them both to sit down and play nice. They eventually do, though Faith still has a sly little smirk on her lips.
“Come on girls, time for bed I think,” Xander says, clapping his hands to get their attention. “A good night’s rest will do us all good. . .or at least stop us from killing each other.”
Leaving the room, rubbing my head with the headache I can feel coming on, I quietly wish I was as good as Xander is with the girls. It seems to come naturally for him. Maybe it’s because he’s a guy that they rarely squabble with him. I just know he’s great at stepping in and being all in control. They see him as a gentle giant, and I see him as my rock. He’s always there for me to lean on, as long as I don’t squick him out by talking about Angel or Spike. I don’t think he likes me being around vampires much, and who can blame him.
I make my way upstairs and leave everybody to shove their way into
clear spots in the living room to sleep. I still have my room to myself, and
it’s going to stay that way. Dawn is sharing with two girls and
I stretch out my tired muscles and attempt to relax as I turn the shower on, hoping I don’t get interrupted. I’m craving hot running water, and not pounding fists at the door. I’ll be quick, I know I have to be with them all hoping to run upstairs to brush their teeth and do their things before going to bed, but this is my house dammit so I’m gonna take a shower before they wreck the bathroom.
The shower does nothing to relax me, but I’m being pretty successful this time at not thinking about the brunette downstairs. I don’t know what’s got into me, but I have to get control of my mind, and my body. I can’t allow some eighteen year old tough-girl to get under my skin. It’s just wrong, and so not like me. I’ve lived a little over the past few years and Spike taught me not to be such a prude, even though that was so not a good phase for me. I won’t be making scrap books of my time with him but it did loosen me up. Still, he was most definitely male, with all the right male parts. Male parts that are suddenly making me pull an icky face.
Seriously, I have so got to ask
This is new, and this is not going to be allowed to continue. I have too much to do. Too much is riding on me, and not in the good way.
I leave the bathroom all steamy and hot behind me, and as I close the door to my bedroom girls start to filter up one by one to the toilet. I’m safe on this side, from them, and from Faith. I can avoid her. I’ll leave it up to Xander to deal with her outbursts and her fights from now on. I’m just here to do my job, which doesn’t involve the lusting parts that seem to be creeping up on me. Faith isn’t all that special; I can ignore those deep dark eyes and that tight little body, and those soft round. . .
Ungh! I’m under a fucking spell, I know it.
Keeping a firmer grip on my wandering thoughts I sit down at my Vanity and start brushing through my hair. It takes so much work now it’s longer, but it’s worth it; my hair is cute and shiny and that justifies the effort.
There’s a bang at my door and I seriously hope they don’t expect me to answer.
“Buffy?”
If it’s not a horde of vampires rampaging through the house she’d better duck and cover for disturbing me.
“What is it?” I snap as I open the door.
I can hear the commotion coming from downstairs and I don’t have to be told what it is. I close the door enough to grab my dressing gown from the back of it and slip it on, dropping the towel I was wearing to the floor. I’m pissed now, and they’re gonna find out what a pissed Buffy looks like.
Once again I stride into the middle of it all, my hair damp, my robe pulled tight around me, its shortness forgotten as I feel my anger boiling over.
“Ok, this time somebody is getting their ass kicked,” I yell.
The room falls silent and I spot Rona and Faith once again staring each other down, only this time it’s gotten physical as they’re still clutching at each other. They have the sense to let go as I glare at them.
“I don’t want to hear excuses, I don’t want you to get all ‘she started it’, and I don’t care what the hell it’s about, just stop. Now,” I tell them, clearly angry. “Get into your sleeping bags and sleep, and tomorrow I’m gonna start busting your asses with lotsa running around. If you all have so much energy to burn, well I’m gonna burn it. Both of you will be giving me fifty laps around the garden. . .and that’s just for starters. The rest of you will follow if you so much as squeak one more time tonight.”
I think I’ve finally flipped.
Faith opens her mouth to speak but I narrow my eyes and make it clear I’m not going to listen. She’s smart enough to know not to push. Rona on the other hand is obviously a fan of running as she utters out her objections.
“That’s so beyond unfair. Faith keeps fucking with me, saying I’ll be no match for even Dawn let alone the vampires, and I’ve had enough,” Dawn sighs in the corner and kicks at the chair. I’m sure she’s sick of being looked down on by these girls now, as much as I’m sick of listening to them, still. . .Rona stupidly continues. “And there’s no way I’m sleeping near her, she’s a nightmare,” she says, not explaining herself further.
“I wouldn’t sleep near me either,” Faith says with a grin. “As soon as you’re out I’m gonna get the cheese from the fridge and rub it in your hair. Make it all smushy and nice for ya so ya stink of cheese for at least a week.”
She seems proud of her little plan, and I wonder just what it is that causes her to be that way.
I let out a long sigh. I’m tired. I just want to get to bed and sleep. I don’t really care what it is that Faith says to them, they all need to grow up. If they can’t even ignore her pokes and jibes then they’re gonna be useless against the kind of vamp and demon that likes to get you riled up with banter before they go in for the kill.
I’m no good at this motherly thing, and Xander seems to be sitting this one out.
“Fine, you can sleep in my room, Rona. The rest of you get to bed before I make you all camp out on the street,” I say, actually believing I will.
“No, no, no,” I hear all around me, “take her.” They all point towards Faith, who just stands there looking pleased with herself with her arms folded.
They keep saying it, pleading with me to take her away from them so they can rest in peace, and I really need to tell them no but I don’t. I rest my eyes on Faith and I’m certain I can see right through the tiniest chink in her armor for just a split second. As much as she caused it, she’s pissed that they all want rid of her. Maybe even a little upset.
“Get upstairs, Faith,” I tell her, softer than I wanted to. “Seems like you’ll be sleeping in my room.”
She catches my eye for a moment and I think I almost see gratitude, but it’s quickly replaced by a smug grin as she tosses her clothes into a bag and throws it over her shoulder. She trudges up the stairs and I follow, leaving the rest of the house to settle down peacefully for the night.
I don’t feel particularly peaceful myself. How am I meant to avoid Faith and the completely unwanted thoughts about her if she’s sharing my room? I’m going to have to make a swap in the morning or go insane. This constant back and forth in my head over Faith is already making me nuts and distracting me. I almost got jumped by a lucky vamp tonight, all because I couldn’t stop thinking of Faith’s ass in leather. Much like I can’t stop now as it sways ahead of me ascending the stairs.
It’s time for me to get my own armor out because there is no way I’m going to give in to Faith and her completely unreasonable sexiness. I’m glad she hasn’t progressed – so far - from mildly teasing me into coming onto me; I don’t think I could handle that.
Hell, I know I couldn’t handle that and keep my sanity, and my vow to stay utterly and completely straight. I’ll have to avoid my thoughts, because there will be no bending of Buffy. This Buffy is unbendable.
“So, which side do ya wanna take, or are we both just gonna sleep in the middle?” Faith asks with a wink as we enter my bedroom and she jumps onto the bed.
No bending here, not at all. Not even a. . .dammit she’s hot.
Chapter
Two
The world is flat. The world is flat, I tell myself over and over. Hell, convincing myself of that seems to be a better option than trying to convince myself that I don’t ‘dig’ Faith in that way that doesn’t involve shovels.
She’s resting back on my pillows with her hands behind her head, right in the middle of the bed. I told her to take her boots off and thankfully she did, but there’s a hole in her sock that isn’t looking too healthy. I shake my head and turn back to my hairbrush, sitting on my stool facing away from her. I can’t quite put my finger on why I want to put my fingers on her, but I have to keep in control.
“You don’t have a TV in here?” Faith asks, clearly seeing no evidence of a television.
“No, I generally use my bedroom for sleeping in, not for entertainment,” I say, knowing it sounded kind of iffy as soon as I said it.
“You don’t entertain much here then huh,” she says, and I know for sure now I walked right into a Faith innuendo session. “Pity,” she adds.
I’m waiting for more and I look at her via the mirror and see the definite grin gracing her full lips. She doesn’t continue and I’m a little perturbed. Just when you think you know somebody they stop being that somebody. It’s unnerving.
“I didn’t mean like that,” I push. “I do entertain, just. . .not via the means of television.”
“Right, I gotcha. . .you’ve never done the home made porn thing. Good to know. I’ll keep the camera outta the bedroom,” she chuckles.
How did she get that from what I said? Am I just dumb and walk right into her traps? Who am I kidding, of course I’m walking right into her traps; she’s so very good at blindsiding you until you just stumble ahead and she gets her way. I have to watch out for that, I can’t go stumbling willy nilly into her when I’m meant to be responsible for her welfare and not responsible for her getting some smoochies and all that follows.
I look away from the mirror and concentrate on my hair. I can hear her shuffling around, pushing things around in her bag, sighing and shuffling some more. I want to look, I so want to look, but I don’t. I can tell she’s getting ready for bed and it would be so incredibly wrong to peek, even if my hand is gripping the brush so tight it’s cracking.
“So,” she says through a yawn, “sides, B. . .which one do ya want?”
I glance at her through the mirror and am temporarily dumbstruck. She’s crawling under the covers and she’s almost naked. The sheet is up over her chest before I see anything of interest, but I get a look at her shapely backside in some very tight little boi shorts. It quickly disappears under the covers but the image is imprinted on my mind. I thought her ass looked great in leather, but oh boy. . .with those tiny little black things she’s wearing I think I may have just lost some of my ‘straight’ to the land of rainbows.
“Sides?” I utter stupidly.
“Yeah. . .you can’t expect me to sleep on the floor, B,” she says. “I’m a potential slayer; you gotta look out for me. Hell, Giles even thinks I could be the next in line, so I oughta get special treatment,” she adds with a smirk and a bounce of her eyebrows.
I turn towards her, spinning on the stool. “You will not be getting special anything,” I make clear, ensuring she knows I’m not going to be a pushover. “Take whichever side you want.”
Kicking myself when I realise I hate sleeping on the right, I struggle to keep the word “doh” under wraps. Luckily she settles down on that side and I breathe a small sigh of relief. I say small and mean small, because how much relief can I possibly get when I’m all wound up over a hot chick that keeps looking at me like she wants to eat me alive?
Thinking about anything but Faith and her nakedness in order to get to a point I can get into bed without trembling, I turn away once more. This is ridiculous. I’m a grown woman who should be able to handle her desires, even if they do occasionally come from out of left field. It’s new and strange but I can deal. . .I will not fall for the unique charms of the evil temptress with the holey socks.
Resolute that I’m in charge of myself and my urges I place my now broken brush down onto the Vanity and head towards my dresser to get something to sleep in. I’m expecting jibes and suggestive comments but all I hear is soft breaths with the smallest hint of a snore. She’s fast asleep already. I smile despite my newfound resoluteness and just look at her for a second.
Her hair is flung behind her on the pillow as she lays sprawled out on her stomach. One foot is dangling off the side of the bed and her sock is hanging limply from it, half on and half off. I stifle a chuckle and can’t help but think she looks adorable. There’s no way anybody else in this house would ever team the words adorable and Faith together, but I think I’m seeing more than most of them allow themselves to. Or maybe she’s just letting me see more than anybody else.
Whatever it is I can’t argue against the fact it’s endearing, and distracting, and just plain not of the good. This can not be happening to me. Not now.
I try to shake the feeling as I stand by the bed, the sudden urge to drop my robe and crawl in naked beside her shocking me to my senses. I can’t allow this to happen, no matter how much she’s making my butterflies all flappy and alive. I pull myself away, tug on a large tee shirt and slide cautiously into bed. She’s taking up a lot more space than her small size would suggest, but I’m smaller so it’s fine. If I stay right on the edge here I can avoid her arm that is flung up over most of my pillow.
Laying as stiff as a board that has been starched to within an inch of its life I attempt to fall asleep. It’s not easy as all I can hear is her soft snoring, and all I can feel is her heat radiating towards me underneath the covers. It’s like she’s sneaking over to me but not moving. As if her body is pulling me to it without touching me at all. I’ve never really been a snuggler, no matter how much Angel and Riley tried to force me to be. It’s just never appealed to me as much as laying in my own space so I don’t feel smothered, but right now I’m having to force myself not to slide over to Faith and mould every part of me into her just so I know what it feels like to be that close to her.
I don’t know what she’s doing to me but I don’t like not feeling in control like this. No man has ever made my head spin like this. Spike made other parts of me spin and that’s just far too icky to even think about. . .but as far as wanting, desiring and yearning, I don’t think anything has come close to this and she’s only been around a short time. Maybe I was always a secret lesbian but just didn’t know it.
I chuckle to myself and shake my head. No, I definitely wasn’t always one of those, I would have known, and I wouldn’t have been all gaga in love with Angel and stupid over Spike if I was really only ever wanting to play with the girls. I know this is real, though. It’s real and far too raw to be anything but just what it is; the need to touch, to taste, to learn every reaction and every breathless sigh.
Lesbian or not I never perceived desire to be like that, not with any past lover. It was always just about scratching an itch, or confirming a deeper emotion. What I think I’m feeling for Faith is a burning kind of desire that defies all explanation, and that I just don’t have the experience to handle. I could be in real trouble if she makes it any more clear she wants more from me.
Sleep starts to tug me under its wing and I feel Faith shifting beside me. All I can sense is the need to rest and a leg gliding its way over me, an arm tucking its way around me. I don’t move. I’m too tired and too comfortable to move or to worry just now. In the morning I’ll get Faith to switch places with another girl so I don’t have to feel like I’m drowning under her sweet scent and her soft skin. Tomorrow I’ll get to grips with this. . .thing.
* * *
When morning comes I wake up feeling far from refreshed. It feels too early and too late all at once and I’m instantly wondering where Faith is as she’s no longer perched on top of me like she was for most of the night. Surely I wasn’t that uncomfortable to sleep on, or maybe she just likes getting up early.
I stretch and look at the clock and wonder if I’ll be missed if I just stay here and snooze for another few hours. I don’t have work to go to anymore on account of most of the school kids and teachers leaving town, and really. . .what is there for a slayer to do during the day? I guess I could pester Spike just to make myself feel useful, but I really don’t want to spend any more time with him than necessary. Besides, he likes when I pester him; he gets all excited and grins like an idiot and I just know he’s dying to let his fangs show, but he’s smart enough to realize I won’t stand for that. Not anymore anyway.
I eventually roll out of bed and trip over one of Faith’s boots, cursing as I realise her clothes are already strewn all over my room. This girl is a walking nightmare, and she’s haunting me.
The bathroom is free for once and I don’t have to join the long queue to get in because there isn’t one. I don’t stop too long to wonder why, too busy needing to shower and get dressed into something cute but not too tempting for Faith and therefore me if she decides she’s going to let me know she’s hot for me. I really don’t have much basis to think that she is right now. She could be hot for Giles for all I really know. Still, I guess the signs are there. . .what with her eyes dancing over my body when she thinks I won’t notice and her little display last night in which she used me as her personal mattress.
The night was certainly a trial, but I came through unscathed. The sensation of having an almost naked Faith snuggled on top of me wasn’t all that horrible, in fact. . .it was so not horrible I had to let my arm curl up around her and rest my hand on her back. Her skin is amazingly smooth, it makes me sigh just thinking about it. It was quite an ordeal having her naked breasts all pressed into me, all pillowy and warm and like slow and exquisite torture. I wanted to touch, to feel, but I’m not into taking advantage of sleeping girls. I just had to lay and ignore what it was doing to my insides as much as possible.
At one point her fingers had gently wound their way into my hair, softly twirling it as she slept. I had thought she’d woken up at first, but the snoring had continued in an unrelenting buzz. It wasn’t annoying in the least - the snoring or the hair twirling - and that’s even more surprising than me wanting to do all kinds of naughty things to her. Like I said. . .I’m not a snuggle-bunny. I don’t like being clambered upon, but Faith’s body was soft and warm, not big and hairy. It was nice.
I catch myself smiling in the bedroom mirror and roll my eyes. I’m a sucker for the bad types that have fuzzy insides I guess.
As I walk downstairs - wondering where everyone is - I hear the
distinct sound of noisy girls making a ruckus, as Giles would say. I wonder if
it would be ok if I slip out the front door and take the day off. I could use a
break, or even a year long vacation. Maybe I could fly to
The house is strangely devoid of potentials, mainly because they all
seem to be outside in the back garden. They’re chanting and cheering and I
think about turning around and going back upstairs but then I hear
“Buffy, I was just coming to get you so you can come and sort this
mess out,”
I sigh, knowing I can’t walk away from this any time soon. We make our way outside and immediately the girls hush a little, though the grunting continues from Faith and Kennedy as they struggle on the ground with each other.
“Should we just throw a bucket of cold water over them?” I ask
“I don’t think that’ll work. They’ve been winding each other up all
morning. They were watching wrestling on TV, and then Kennedy told Faith she
could beat her in a wrestling match any day of the week. It kind of escalated
from there,”
I nod and tell her to get everybody else inside. They all retreat without question, walking backwards to make sure they don’t miss any possible victories. There won’t be any winners in this little contest.
“Ok, you have two seconds to break it up before I get the hose,” I say loudly.
Neither girl lets go of the other. Faith has Kennedy in a headlock and Kennedy has Faith trapped underneath her on the muddy ground.
“No way am I letting go,” Faith grunts, trying to wiggle out of Kennedy’s grasp.
“Likewise,” Kennedy says, her mouth muffled against Faith’s boob.
Wait, that’s not good. She can’t go putting her head there, not when I. . .have semi-claimed it, even though I have no intention of using it. I scrunch up my brow and try to focus.
“Then I guess I’m gonna have to use force,” I wade in, yanking Kennedy up by her shirt and Faith by her arm.
Both girls wince, though Faith more so than Ken.
“Shit, B. . .way to pull my arm off,” Faith whines, grasping at her shoulder.
Maybe I was a little rough. Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.
“Pussy,” Kennedy taunts, straightening herself out.
I turn my attention to her and hit her with my best glower. “I’ll show you pussy if you don’t get inside and out of my hair,” I say, noticing the slip of my tongue too late, aware of Faith’s little snicker beside me. “This little rivalry is getting tedious. I might have to feed one of you to Spike, and right now. . .I’m thinking your blood would make a tasty snack,” I tell Kennedy.
She shakes her head and looks down her nose at me. “I guess it’s clear who’s the favorite around here huh,” she says.
I glare some more and she gets the hint to leave. Faith is grinning and it’s so not helping me to be mad at her, especially as she’s still holding onto her shoulder.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask, moving closer to her.
“No, B, I normally stand around holding my shoulder and pulling this face,” she says, pointing to the pained expression she’s wearing.
“I’m sorry, but I did warn you,” I point out.
I lift my hand to touch her shoulder. I need to make sure it’s not dislocated. She hisses a little as I give it a gentle squeeze and I can’t figure out if there’s any real damage. I don’t wanna prod and poke and hurt her some more.
“I’ll get
She furrows her brow and shakes her head. “Red ain’t taking a look at anything of mine.”
Her eyes look worried, like the last thing she wants to do is give
somebody access to her in a way she’s not in control of. I’m guessing she maybe
has trust issues, or it could be that she just doesn’t like
“How about Giles?” I ask.
She looks at me like I’m crazy and starts walking back to the house, still with her hand at her shoulder. Ok, so I need to fix this. She seems pretty pissed that I hurt her, and maybe even a little more pissed at the fact I want everybody to fondle her but me. I can just tell that’s what it is. I know a huff when I see one, I’m the queen of storming out. I need to see if she’s going to trust me, then let her know I’m here for her. . .as a mentor of course.
“Faith,” I call softly, wanting her to stop, “can I take a look at anything of yours?” I meant her shoulder of course, but the words are out now.
She stops and turns around before getting to the door. “Of course, B,” she says, looking into my eyes. “I thought you woulda got that by now.”
Those expressive eyebrows do a little jiggle and she grins a big dimpled grin. I just stand staring at her, trying to work out what exactly she means. I guess it’s fairly obvious what she means but I’m not known for my perceptiveness when it comes to people who are into me, so I’m just running through the checklist in my head to make sure I’m not being extremely arrogant.
She carries on making her way into the house as I stand gaping at her. She probably thinks I just totally blanked her.
I eventually follow, ignoring the girls as they watch us take the stairs up to my bedroom. They’re all pretending to do their own thing but I bet they’re wondering if I’m gonna kick her out or something. They’re fools if they think I’m gonna lose somebody with this much fight in them when we’re headed for an apocalypse.
Faith slumps down onto the bed, sitting on the edge as I close the door behind us. I move closer, watching her fingers rub at her shoulder.
“Let me take a look at that,” I say, sitting beside her.
She doesn’t speak, choosing to pout instead. I haven’t seen her pout before and I have to say it’s totally cute. Cute with a side order of kinda sexy; but then pretty much everything she does is sexy in some way. I wonder if she knows that about herself, I mean truly. I’m aware she knows she’s pretty hot stuff, I get that from the way she carries herself and the way she flirts. . .but I wonder if she knows how deep it goes.
I could tell her right now that it goes right the way through her. Her sexuality is thick and heady, it makes you want to reach out and touch it just for a second, just to feel it burn you. I can’t reach out and touch that way, though. . .I know I can’t, as much as I now understand I want to.
Lowering her hand she lets her gaze rest on me, her brown eyes boring into me, watching mine as I look at her shoulder. I touch it softly, moving it around as she holds her breath. It’s not dislocated but I’d given it a good yank, probably jarring her muscles. My fingers rub at her and she stops flinching, relaxing into my hand.
“It should be ok,” I tell her, not daring to look up into her eyes. If I do I’ll be lost, I know it. “Just be careful with it.”
“Thanks,” she says, her voice taking on a soft tone that I don’t think I’ve heard before. It’s still husky and seductive, but less full on.
I make the mistake of looking up and am instantly engulfed in deep dark brown, her eyes pulling me in like magnets. She has to know how much she affects me, but I can’t let her think I’m a willing participant to this.
“What you said outside,” I say, planning to tell her that it can’t ever go as far as she might want. “I’m not certain what you meant but. . .”
She interrupts. “You know what it meant,” she says with a little smile. “I wanted you from the first fucking moment I saw you, B.”
My mouth drops open, not so much because I’m shocked but because now I can’t avoid the fact she really does want me. She said it, plain as day. It’s out now and I can’t cram it back into a box and put a sticker on it that says “ignore me”.
She just looks at me curiously as I try to stutter an answer, her eyes twinkling and mesmerising me.
“You can play dumb if you want, Buffy,” she says, “but I know you’re hot for me too. I caught your eyes when you first saw me, they were all dilating and crap. You couldn’t hide that.”
I blink, desperately wanting to deny it. “It was dark,” I practically stammer. “My eyes were adjusting to the light. . .the lack of the light.”
I’m cringing inside at my smoothness and she chuckles and looks away for a split second giving me time to breathe. Her eyes land back on me and I’m wound up in them all over again, my heart beginning to thump loudly in my chest. I wonder if she can hear it. If she were a slayer and not just a potential she’d most definitely hear it, and possibly catch the fluttering in my stomach.
“It wasn’t dark, it was me,” she says slowly, her voice dropping to that deep husky tone, sending a shiver up my spine.
Her tongue creeps out over the cleft in her lower lip and I can’t move. I need to tell her I don’t like her like that. I need to make it clear that we’re never going to get hot and sweaty together but I can’t. I just sit and watch her tongue, wishing I could throw myself at her and take it into my mouth.
There’s all kinds of tension between us and I feel smothered in it, coiled up in her eyes and her scent; in the way her lips are just poised, ready for me to kiss them. I close my eyes, not wanting to see so I can’t be tempted, but I can still feel her. I sense her heat and her need and I can hear how her breathing has deepened, like she’s about to lose control and just dive on me.
My eyes are screwed up tight, but I feel the bed shift and I know she’s leaning forwards. I wet my lips in anticipation even though I’m not in any way shape or form going to allow her to kiss me. I couldn’t possibly. Under no circumstances. Never.
She stops moving and I hear her laughing quietly. My eyes shoot open to see her grinning from ear to ear at me.
“You ok there, B?” she asks, still chuckling. “Looked like you were expecting me to hit ya or. . .something.”
I was definitely going with the something.
“I was just. . .” I shake my head. I don’t have to explain myself to her. “Faith, whatever it is you thought you saw when we first met, or just then or whenever, you’re wrong. I don’t like you like that. I’m not. . .we can’t. . .”
Sighing, I stand up and take a few paces away from the bed, my hand brushing through my hair as she watches me.
“Look, B. . .it’s no big. I get it. I like you and you like me, but you can’t do anything about it. Or at least you don’t think you can, or won’t let yourself,” she tells me decisively.
“There isn’t any ‘won’t’ about it, Faith,” I tell her maybe a little harshly. “I don’t. . .”
“Yeah, I know. . .you don’t want me like that,” she says, still grinning and nodding like she knows otherwise. Like she’s sure.
I know I’m sure too, but this isn’t a good situation. She’s here for me to help her, to keep her safe. Here because she’d already be dead anyplace else. She came to us - to me - to understand what it is about her that makes her a target, so I can’t abuse my position and take advantage of her. I’m well aware she’s not just a girl, she’s a young woman full of self confidence but she’s still just eighteen. Younger than me.
Turning to gaze out of the window I almost start laughing at myself at the last excuse. If I’m really so bothered about age differences then I’m being kind of hypocritical. Angel and Spike aren’t exactly my age. There were a couple of hundred years between me and them, but oh no. . .that didn’t stop me getting wriggly with either of them. So what’s really stopping me with Faith?
Part of it is about her being here for me to protect her and not wanting to exploit that for my own needs and desires. But apart from that. . .I guess it’s just plain old fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of it blowing up in my face. Fear of getting into something I can’t, or won’t want to get out of. It’s all too much right now. She’s too much.
I sense rather than see her step up behind me. She looks out of the window with me over my shoulder as I stand with my arms wrapped around myself. I can feel her warm breath on the back of my neck and it’s not really helping me wind down. If she’s doing it on purpose then that’s just cruel.
“I can’t pretend like I don’t want you every minute I’m near you,” Faith says softly, every word sending a tingle right through me as her breath tickles its way over my neck, “but I won’t push it if you can tell me right now – in all honesty – that you don’t feel it too.”
Taking a breath I try to thrust the words out. I have to tell her no, that this can’t and won’t happen; that I won’t allow myself the opportunity for it to happen. I have to walk away and Faith has to know that’s just the way it is.
She moves to stand in front of me, her eyes instantly searching mine. I can’t help but look up at her, and the words have gone; like they never existed. My mind is blank.
Faith steps a little closer and it feels like I’m falling into her. How does she do that? How does she make me feel so desperate to reach out and touch and hold and spend hours learning every inch of her? I want her. I want her like I’ve never wanted before; like I need to have her. As if my breath depends on it, my heartbeat; my whole existence brought down to this. . .the desire that’s coursing through me in a way that scares me despite all my experience of life and love.
My voice is shaking when I finally open my mouth to speak. “Faith, I. . .”
We’re both startled by a knock on the door. I virtually jump on Faith, but the shock of doing that causes me to reel backwards and stumble over her boot once again. Flailing my arms around to catch my balance, backing away from Faith as she reaches out to help me, I rush headlong for the door. Half crashing into it and half yanking it open I see Giles on the other side and nearly run right into his arms, wanting him to protect me from the way Faith is making me feel.
He stares wide eyed at me as I stare back at him, my mind a big pile of mush and my body a tense ball of need. Faith saunters up behind and strides past, nodding to Giles smoothly as if she didn’t just almost get me to admit I want to straddle her and ride her until we both pop.
“Hey,” she says all nonchalantly, making me want to boot her in the ass for not being as nuts as me over this thing. . .whatever it is between us.
Giles smiles and lowers his eyebrows. “I’m glad I caught you both,” he says. “I thought it would be a good idea for Buffy to show you a few basic moves, Faith. A little extra training just in case we’re caught on the hop and have a new slayer on our hands.” He smiles at her proudly.
I guess he really does think she could be the next slayer.
“Sure, I’m up for it if B is,” Faith tells him, her eyes resting on me and suggesting she means something other than training.
“Great,” Giles says, beaming. “Of course it might also be beneficial for you to do the same with Kennedy, but she’s sulking at the moment so maybe you could talk to her tomorrow, Buffy.”
Oh great, just what I need. I so do not want to tutor Kennedy in anything other than the art of manners. It seems Faith isn’t too thrilled at Ken getting the same treatment as her either; she’s not smirking half as much as she was a second ago.
We both watch Giles leave and I realise it’s just me and Faith stood around in the hallway, and that can only lead to me crumbling again and being stupid enough to tell her I want to ravish her silly on the stairs.
I furrow my brow, realising I have nothing to say to her that won’t lead to one thing. One thing I want to stay clear of. She doesn’t stop me as I turn to leave and for the rest of the day I successfully stay out of her way. I’ll teach her some moves tomorrow, when I feel more convinced about the fact I can resist the urge to let her use those delicious looking lips on every part of me.
I’m Buffy; I’m strong and sure of myself. I know I can resist, especially if I stay away from her. The perfect solution is to spend a few hours doing what I do best: shoving lumps of wood into creepy dead things. So I’m out prowling my first cemetery and feeling good about myself.
I love the night, the darkness, everything in it that thinks it can take me but doesn’t have a hope. When I stake a vamp it’s like a sugar rush, a chocolate high and the best sex ever all at once. It leaves me tingling and eager for more; needing to slay again or. . .well, I can honestly say yogurt is not the solution.
And at this point I have to hit myself in the head and call myself stupid. I’m going to end up going home all hyped up and needing release and I have Faith all sprawled out in my bed. I’m dumb, really, really dumb. I’m going to have to sleep on the sofa. I’m sure one of the girls won’t mind me taking their sleeping space so I can keep my chastity around an extremely tempting, drop-dead gorgeous, lickable. . .
“Faith!” I yelp.
“Hey, B,” Faith says, looking like she doesn’t have a care in the world as she strolls towards me hands in pockets, “thought you could use some company.”
Oh great, there’s just no getting away from her. How am I gonna keep my hands off her if she keeps being all unavoidy and hot and desirable around me?
This night is not going to end well.
Chapter
Three
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask Faith, my arms flapping about in a way I don’t seem to be able to control.
“Calm down, B. . .I told ya, I thought you could use some company,” Faith says, shrugging. “No need to get your panties in a bunch.”
“My panties are not in a bunch,” I say. Faith smirks at me, obviously thinking otherwise. “You have no effect on my panties, Faith,” I add firmly, completely lying.
She does have an effect on my unmentionables but not in the way she just suggested. They don’t bunch so much as get a little moist when she’s around, which is just uncomfortable, especially if she’s wearing something like what she is right now. The whole black leather pants and tight cleavage-y top thing is so not helping me have wholesome thoughts, or dry panties.
“You could have been killed,” I chastise, getting back to the subject.
“But I wasn’t,” she says with another shrug.
I swear she’s the most infuriating person I’ve ever known. . .after Kennedy. . .and Dawn. Ok, so she’s the third most infuriating person I know, yet I just can’t seem to stay angry at her for longer than a few seconds. I should be marching her ass back to the house right now, not standing around a drafty graveyard having a conversation with her.
“But you could have been, Faith. It isn’t safe out here. You know that,” I tell her, sure that we covered the whole thing on the day she arrived.
“Seriously, B, I can look out for myself. I used to run around the streets back home getting into all kindsa crap and I’m still here, looking as good as ever,” she says giving herself a self-appraising glance.
“You may have been a prize fighter on the streets of
“I get that,” Faith proclaims, her eyebrows doing that cute thing where they kinda scrunch up as she’s trying to get her point across, “and it’s not like I was wandering around alone. I stayed close enough to see you, and I woulda yelled if I had to.”
I take a deep breath, not wanting to let it drop because I don’t want her getting unceremoniously slaughtered by Bringers, or drained and turned by vampires. Even if I never plan on taking things further with her and finding out just what it is that’s pulling me to her, I don’t want her gone. Not like that. Not at all.
“Next time. . .wait, there won’t be a next time, but for future reference don’t just wander out of the house on your own at night. Talk to me first, ok,” I tell her. “There are too many things around right now that would love to take a bite out of you, so. . .”
“Um, B?” she says, interrupting.
“What?”
“I think that guy coming this way wants to take a bite,” she says, pointing over my shoulder.
I turn quickly and see a shabby looking vampire jogging our way. He seems a little uncertain, but thirsty. I step back, closer to Faith, to protect her.
“Gross, I can smell him from here,” Faith points out quietly, the low burr to her voice making me shudder.
“Sometimes they forget to shower.” I reach into my jacket and pull out a stake.
He’s all snarly and toothy but as soon as he catches a glimpse of wood he stops dead in his tracks and panic crosses his deformed features. I glare at him, a silent dare to come closer, to start the fight. They usually lunge, their thirst far outweighing any sense that might still be floating around in their skulls. This one chooses to run.
He lets out a gruff sigh and vaults his way over the nearby fence towards the alleys that back onto the cemetery boundary.
“Wow, you scared him off with just a look, B. That’s pretty fucking impressive. Kinda hot too,” Faith says, sounding all excited.
I turn to see her grin and it feels kind of nice that she appreciates my slaying abilities that way. Of course, I know I just totally let him get away when I shoulda dusted him, but I was being all distracted by her breath on my neck again.
“It’ll be more impressive when I kill him,” I assure. “As much as I’d like to take you home – and no, I didn’t mean that in the way you think I did – we have to follow him. I can’t let him head off onto the streets like that.”
She nods and gets such an adorable look on her face, as if she’s trying to be all slayer-like and business minded. I want to point it out and tell her she’s making my insides all squirmy but that wouldn’t get the vampire dusted and wouldn’t help ensure she knows I’m not going to give in to her.
“Right there with ya, B,” she says as we head off towards the fence. “And then you can take me home,” she adds with a wink.
I shake my head, a little chuckle escaping me as we haul ourselves over the wire fence. She jumps down beside me and we slowly make our way into the first alley. It’s not a pleasant area of town. It’s full of old warehouses and boarded up bars and run down apartments. There’s a frightful motel further out, closer to the highway. It’s a place you wouldn’t leave a dog let alone want to stay in. I wonder who would be desperate enough to stay there, my skin feeling all itchy at just the thought of the dirty old mattresses. As much as I hate having the girls all crammed into my home like sardines, I’d never let them stay in a place like that. That would be unforgivable.
“This place reminds me of home,” Faith says quietly as we move behind an old warehouse, the alley strewn with trashcans and planks of rotten wood.
I glance over to her but she doesn’t seem like she’s indulging in a pity party. She’s just reminiscing I guess. It makes me wonder how she grew up. It makes me understand - just a little – why she’s got her badass act all set in place. I have no doubt she knows how to take care of herself, and I know she’s tough, strong, and smart. . .it’s all clear to me now, as is the fact there’s so much more under the surface of that tough-girl persona, just waiting to be seen.
“I hope we get through this so you’ll have a home to get back to,” I say, hoping it’s not the wrong thing. Hoping she doesn’t indeed hate where she comes from.
“We will,” she says, stopping to look at me, her boots crunching over the broken glass littering the alley.
Her gaze is intense, like she really does believe everything is going to be fine. I wish I shared her optimism, but I’ve already had a taste of how hard it’s going to be. Mr uber-vamp has crushed my cheery outlook under his giant ugly feet. If I can’t beat one of them, what are we gonna do if we come up against an army of them?
“I wish I was so sure,” I confess, probably foolishly. I’m not meant to be terrifying the potentials after all.
“How can you not be sure, B?” Faith asks, her hands getting tugged from her pockets so she can articulate with them. It used to irritate me, now I find it endearing. “How can we lose? It’s gonna be five by five,” she says with a smirk.
“Yeah?” I say, feeling about ready to throw myself into a self-indulgent pity fest. “Can you let me in on how exactly everything is going to be ‘five by five’? Because from where I stand. . .we’re in for a world of hurt,” I point out sharply.
She frowns at me and I feel bad for laying my doubts on her. She doesn’t need it. She wants to hear me tell her how I’m going to save the world and keep them all safe. That’s my job after all.
“Are you shittin me?” she says, letting out a loud laugh.
“No,” I say firmly, feeling a little pissed that she’s laughing at my woes. “You’re all here expecting me to lead you off into a battle I know we’ll win, but I can’t tell you that we will, and it’s me that’s responsible for all your lives. And how can I ask them, you. . .to follow me like that? To risk everything on just a hope. A hope that I don’t even know is possible at all.”
I sit down heavily on a pile of wooden pallets. I don’t know why I’ve gotten all confession-y, and I have no clue why I’ve picked Faith to offload on.
“All anybody ever has is hope, B,” she tells me, the laughter replaced by her strong voice, its husky tone smothering the sharpness of my fears. “You’re not responsible for any of us. We’re here by choice; here to fight the good fight, and you don’t need to ask them to follow you, they’ll do it anyway. . .I’ll do it without a second’s fucking hesitation. I’d follow you anywhere, and I know they all think the same way,” she says, her dark eyes glistening under the harsh moonlight.
I’m struck by her words. By her. I open my mouth to speak but it seems she hasn’t finished.
“You’re the slayer, Buffy. . .and not just ‘cause of all that wicked hot strength,” she says with a wink and a flirty smile.
She’s pep talking me and attempting to flirt at the same time. It’s quite a feat, and I doubt anybody other than Faith could pull it off so well.
I let out a small laugh as she smiles down at me. Faith is the last person I would have thought could talk some sense into me. She never seemed the sensible type, but I guess somewhere under all that sexiness and tight black clothing is a girl that knows more than she lets on. I can’t honestly look at her now and only see the rough edges; I can see the hidden depths. I don’t know what’s in them, but I know some of them scare the hell out of me, and some of them make me want to dive right in.
“Thanks,” I say softly, feeling a bit silly for having let her know how worried I am about the threat hanging over us.
Our eyes lock for longer than necessary and I suddenly feel the need to tell her I’m glad it was her I crumbled in front of, but I don’t get to elaborate on my feelings as I spot a dark shadow heading towards the window in the warehouse behind her. Moving quickly I pull Faith behind me as I stand ready to take on the shabby vampire as he hurls himself through the glass at us. Obviously his thirst won out in the end.
He lets out a carnal growl as glass flies towards us. I try to turn but I’m too slow. I feel the glass cut into me, doing my best to shelter Faith from it with my arms up and covering her. I feel her shaking slightly against my body and I know I have to get this guy gone. He’s going to go right for her.
Before he can get too close I twist back towards him, yanking out my stake and launching myself forwards. He’s not backing down this time and thrusts his hands out towards my neck. He gets a grip on me, but my stake is aimed right at his un-dead heart. His own momentum causes it to plunge into his chest, the ripping sound of his flesh and the crunch of his bones making his eyes go wide before he’s nothing but dust floating to the ground.
“Fuck,” Faith exclaims behind me. “Talk about ruining a moment.”
I face her and smile and I know it’s a flirty smile. The half smile that I’ve tried not to use on her. I’m a hopeless failure.
She’s not smiling back, though. Her gaze roams over me and I see concern in her eyes. I look down and see why; there are shards of glass sticking out of my clothes. Nothing big, just little chunks that have most definitely made this outfit un-wearable again.
“Great, and this was my favourite shirt,” I say, hoping to ease the worry on Faith’s face. It doesn’t help.
I start to pull the glass from my clothing, noting that none of it seems to have done much damage; there’s just a few scratches and cuts here and there.
“Let me help,” Faith offers, moving closer.
I don’t stop her and she helps pull off pieces of glass from my jacket and shirt. I don’t know why but I keep trying to catch her eye, but she’s too busy making me a glass-free zone. When her eyes finally do move to my face her brow creases.
“You’re bleeding,” she tells me.
I hadn’t noticed, but then. . .being a slayer kinda dulls the pain of things like sharp, stabbing glass. I lift my hand to my cheek where her gaze is fixed. She’s right, it’s bleeding quite a bit. I wriggle my cheeks and can feel the glass still embedded in there.
“It’ll have to wait ‘till we get back,” I say, swiping away some of the blood. I’m used to getting hurt, so it’s not a big deal to me. What’s another cut? It’s all part of my nightly routine.
“Sit down, B. . .we’re not walking home with a lump of glass sticking out of your face, it’s gross,” Faith says, pulling a pained expression.
Oh great, I go from being hot to gross in the blink of an eye. This night is just about perfect now.
I don’t argue and sit down. I don’t want to be grossing Faith out, though having her too close right now is probably not a great idea. We did just kind of share a moment after all, and I felt her warm little body all trembly against me, and. . .I just slayed so slayer sized hormones are rushing around inside me. I should take her hand from my shoulder and stand, but she seems pretty determined.
She kneels in front of me and brushes aside some strands of hair that have stuck to my cheek. Her fingers are gentle and I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting her to yank the glass out all gung-ho, but thinking of her being gentle and caring just doesn’t fit with the way she presents herself. I add the insight to all the others and feel myself slipping just a little. She’s wearing me down and she doesn’t even know it. Faith probably thinks her only way to me is through bravado and sexy clothes, but that’s just the attractive casing, what’s inside is even more appealing and it’s far too tempting to dwell on.
I watch as she pulls a hanky out of her pocket and folds it to wipe at the blood.
“Don’t worry, it’s clean,” she chuckles.
With her fingers softly holding me steady at my jaw she uses her other hand to swipe at the dribble of blood. I can feel her heat all over me, like it’s trying to swallow me whole. I notice she’s between my legs and instantly feel the need to move. She’s too close. She’s too damn tempting, being all girly and concerned and close. . .did I mention close?
“I’m gonna pull it out, B,” Faith tells me.
I hold my breath, but not because I’m expecting it to hurt. It’s her lips. . .so close to me; all bouncy looking and kissable. Her hair smells like heaven and every inch of me wants every inch of her. How can I resist this urge? Why would I want to?
Her fingers pull at the glass and I wince a little out of habit.
“Sorry,” she says, achingly genuine.
“It’s ok,” I tell her, hardly recognizing my voice as it drops and quivers.
Faith dabs at the cut with her hanky, putting a little pressure on my cheek to stem the flow. My slayer healing will close it up in no time now the glass has gone. It won’t even scar. . .but I know I’m gonna be left with something because of it, mainly because I can’t stop looking at Faith’s lips, and I just know she’s noticed as they curl up into a sexy little grin.
Her tongue creeps out to wet them and I do the same, caught in their spell, needing to take away the dryness my own lips feel in their need to kiss. The fingers still softly holding my jaw encourage me to look up, and I get lost in chocolate brown eyes. She really is beautiful, not just sexy.
Before I know it I’m leaning towards her and she’s doing the same. My stomach is flipping out and my body is on fire as her lips touch mine. My eyes slide shut and I melt into the moment, letting Faith kiss me as I leave myself open to her. She moves her lips over mine and I respond, lips parted a little to feel her fullness, her perfect teasing kisses. Her hand moves up into my hair and I find her neck with my own, holding her to me. We both sigh as her tongue slips over mine, warm and wet, and growing eager for more. I taste her, taking her into my mouth as I fight the urge to stop but know that I have to.
She tastes like sweet and sex and everything I want right now, but this is way out of line. I’m post-slaying horny so this is wronger than wrong. She pushes a little firmer against my lips with hers and my heart is pounding a rhythm that’s telling me to take what she’s giving me, but no matter how good she feels, and no matter how much her tongue is making me incredibly wet for her I have to pull back.
“Aw, come on, B,” she sighs breathlessly as I move away from her lips, her eyes dark and needy. “I wanna fuck you so bad right now.”
Her words shock me back to sanity. I can’t let her think there will be any fucking, let alone in a dirty alley with vamp dust blowing all around.
“I’m sorry,” I say, standing up and moving away from her. “I can’t.”
As Faith stands and runs a hand through her hair I take a few deep breaths, trying to compose myself. She looks as flustered as I feel.
She tries to pin me with those dangerous eyes. “Buffy, I. . .”
I interrupt; I’m not ready to hear anything she has to say right now. “We need to get back, Faith.”
I don’t make room for arguments or the huge pout now gracing her lips. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I shouldn’t have felt my insides bursting at the feel of it. I’ve never kissed a girl before, but I doubt just any girl would make me melt like that. That was all Faith.
* * *
We made our way silently back to the house. Every time she tried to talk I cut her off. I couldn’t hear that voice, I couldn’t listen to the words that would strip away my resolve. She kept shaking her head, looking over at me and scrunching up her brow. I could feel the tension rolling off her, and I was battling against it as much as my own need. She probably has no clue that I’ve never felt so charged from just a simple kiss before. I doubt she would understand just how scary this is for me, let alone how wrong it would be for me to allow it to go any further.
Faith is blustering about in the kitchen now, hunting for food and muttering to herself as I tell Giles we didn’t bump into the new big bad vamp. He’s concerned that Faith was stupid enough to follow me, but he didn’t make her feel too bad. He has a huge soft spot for her, and I fully understand it. She’s a rebel like he was.
“Maybe tomorrow night we should do a proper sweep; take a few of the girls and Spike and see if we can’t flush the demon out,” Giles says, tapping his fingers on the dining table.
I nod and tell him I’m going to bed. I head up to the shower and I feel Faith’s eyes on me; it would be creepy if it didn’t excite me so much. Locking the bathroom door behind me I breathe a sigh of relief. As little time I get to spend in here these days it’s become kind of a sanctuary. It’s the only place I have left where I can be alone. There are girls everywhere, in every room, and Spike in the basement, and now I have Faith in my bedroom taunting me. If I wasn’t so icked out about creepy crawlies I’d pitch a tent in the garden to have just a little space of my own.
Maybe I should make Faith move out of my room, but there’s not really anywhere she can go and not cause trouble. I guess I could force Dawn to keep her in her room, but she’d never forgive me. Nope, it looks like Faith is my problem.
The shower I spend a mere five minutes under only washes away the grime and not the tension in my shoulders and the need in all my other parts. There’s no time to even attempt to ease away the itch under my own fingers because somebody keeps knocking on the door. I plan to walk out in a rage to show my annoyance but when I pull the door back I find Faith standing right in the way.
Clutching at the towel I have wrapped around me I freeze, my rage being pushed out and replaced by the yearning she keeps making me feel. Her eyes are all over me and they’re leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. I need to shake myself free, and not of the towel so I can invite her in to get the place even more hot and steamy.
“Excuse me,” I say, stepping from the bathroom and moving past her.
She doesn’t stop me going and a little part of me feels disappointed. I pause and catch her eye just before we close the doors on each other. I don’t say anything, just look, just for a second. I know I’m being a bitch with her; kissing her then pushing her away so coldly wasn’t fair. I don’t want her to hate me. I can’t have her, but I don’t want that look in her eye to go; the one she gets when she sees me. The one that makes me tingle when it’s obvious what she’s thinking.
A puzzled expression flutters across her face for a second, but then I think she gets it. I think she realises that I really do want her, but that I can’t risk it. What would happen if we were to let this go where we want it? She’s a potential amongst many others; they’d all be hating on her even more for getting it on with their supposed saviour. Jealousy isn’t pleasant. And what if I get too involved and something bad happens? We’re headed for an apocalypse and I need to be completely focused on everything and everybody, not just her. I know I’d never consciously do anything to put the lives of my friends and family in danger, but what if I can’t see past Faith? I can’t do it. I can’t let myself be weak like that. . .not again. Not after Spike.
I turn away from her eyes and close the door. My forehead hits the wooden frame as I lean against it, trying to deal with everything that’s going round and round in my head. If only she’d turned up sooner.
Forcing myself to think as ‘straight’ as possible I get ready for bed, throwing on a large tee shirt, and climb under the cool sheets. I do everything I can not to think about Faith naked and showering, but I discover it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It’s like she demands me to think of her like that. I can’t help it and am powerless to stop it. Just the thought of her standing with the water rushing over her body, gliding over every part of her, makes me groan.
I can picture it so clearly, the heat rising all around her as she leans with her hands against the tiled walls. I see myself stepping up behind her, hands roaming over her as I press against her body.
The image of us both naked makes me cross my legs, denying myself the freedom to touch. There’s no way I’m going to be caught doing that by her.
Faith comes back into the room and I look away, finding the wall suddenly highly interesting. She doesn’t speak and I know she’s still pissed. Her clothes get tossed onto a chair and I hear the towel drop from her. I flick my eyes over to the mirror almost opposite me and see her reflection as she stands at the other side of the bed. She’s turned away from me so I can only see her back, but I’m still left fighting to keep my breathing from giving me away.
Her hair is tumbling down over her shoulders, tickling the top of her spine. I let my gaze wander, following the arch of her back, the gentle curve to her hips, the dip that marks the area just above her perfect ass that’s on show to me. I can see a tattoo curving over the top of her hip and ending in the small of her back. I can’t tell what it is from the reflection, but I so want to find out.
My eyes linger there before moving on to her gorgeous backside, studying, wanting. I’d felt the smoothness of her back the night before, but I wanted her ass. I want to run my hand over it and pull her to me, press her against me. Grab on and let her ride me until we’re both lost in each other.
I’ve never been an ass kind of girl. I appreciated Angel’s, and Riley’s, and even Spike’s skinny rear, but Faith’s firm little ass is just begging for me to touch it. Not in an icky way. . .I want to squeeze it, but as for anything other than that I’d like to say a big fat no. I want Faith, no doubt about it, and I want her ass. . .but not for anything gross. There’s only one place on Faith I want inside of and I’m not even going to acknowledge that completely yet because I think my head would explode. I’m not completely unfamiliar with girly-parts - I do have my own after all – but wanting another girl’s girly-parts so lustily is not something I’ve had experience with.
The thought of her possibly turning around and presenting me with said girly-parts makes me slam my eyes shut. I’m not ready for that. I’m not even meant to be entertaining the idea of being ready for that.
I breathe out a little shakily when I feel the bed shift beside me. She ruffles the covers around getting settled, sighing as she tries to get comfortable. I want to turn around and break this awful silence between us, but I just don’t think I can. Thankfully she breaks it for me.
“Fuck,” she whines, still shuffling around.
I turn onto my back so I can at least look her way. She’s pushing the pillow this way and that, and tugging at the tee shirt she has on. I’m a little sad she’s decided to wear something tonight. The little devil on my shoulder is biting his tail, trying to stop himself from telling me to let Faith know she doesn’t have to wear it for my benefit.
“You look like you’re having a problem,” I say, a little chuckle to my voice.
“Yeah. . .guess I’m kinda antsy,” she says gruffly.
I nod. I completely get the antsy thing; it’s just that mine’s all internal. I’m going nuts inside, wriggling in my own skin and trying to ignore the urge I have to feel her lips on mine again.
She tugs at her shirt again as she lays on her back, obviously uncomfortable.
“Not used to wearing anything huh,” I say, pointing out the obvious.
“You can say that again,” she sighs. “I didn’t have anything clean last night but I did laundry today.”
I nod again, practically biting my lip so the words don’t come out. I lose the battle. “You don’t have to wear it. . .the tee shirt I mean,” I tell her.
She stops wiggling around and looks at me. “You sure?”
“Sleep how you’re comfortable, Faith. I’m sure I can resist,” I say with a wink.
She laughs and I can’t help but join her. We know the score now. We want each other, but it’s a no-go area so we’ll have to deal with it. I’m pretty sure she understands that.
“If you’re sure you’re not gonna go groping me in the middle of the night, then fine,” she says with a grin, sitting up and pulling off her tee shirt.
I stare as her breasts bounce free, and I instantly want to tell her to put it back on but I don’t. My mind is chastising me for having only thought about groping her ass until now. Her ass is nothing compared to her breasts and that’s saying something. Hell, I thought mine were pretty neat but Faith’s. . .they’re making my mouth water.
I want to experience their weight and their softness in my hands. I want to know what it would feel like to have her dark nipples firming to my touch; I need to know how they would feel against my lips, in my mouth.
My tongue sneaks out over my bottom lip and I can’t pull my eyes away. I keep looking as Faith lays back down facing me, leaving the covers pooled at her waist. She’s gorgeous. . .and she’s partially naked in my bed again. This is insane. My friends would freak if they knew I was laying here next to a girl wanting nothing more than to lick her all over. It makes me want to freak even though I’m slowly coming to terms with this whole new side to me.
How could I explain it to them when I can’t even explain it to myself? There’s no doubt that Faith is something special. We all see the hotness that is Faith, but they don’t also see the beauty, and the warmth inside her that’s making me ache to be with her. Nobody ever made me ache this way and I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how to look away from her eyes as they keep mine trapped within them. She’s looking right into me, seeing parts of me that I don’t want her to see, and I have no clue how to stop it, if I really want to at all like I’ve been convincing myself.
“Why are you fighting it, B?” she asks, her words slipping over me like fingers.
I struggle to find the words and turn to her so I can gaze into her eyes more easily. “I’m not fighting it, Faith. I’m just being realistic.”
“So you admit you want me?” she asks quietly, a little uncertainty tainting her confidence.
I try to lie. I try to give myself the way out that I should, only I can’t. Not when she’s looking at me like that.
“Yes,” I tell her softly, forcing my voice not to shake. “But. . .”
She shushes me and shakes her head.
“No buts, Buffy,” she says, her voice thick and seductive. “I can feel how much you want to let go.”
Her hand moves under the covers and I feel her fingers sliding up the outside of my thigh. She’s barely touching me but it’s leaving me incapable of thinking. I shudder noticeably when her fingers stop at my hip, tripping over the waist of my panties.
She leans closer to me, her body heat making it obvious that she’s burning for me as much as I am for her. I can smell how hot she is. I catch the scent of her arousal and my breathing flutters. I’ve never wanted to be naked with somebody so much my entire life. I want to be exposed to her and have her exposed to me. I want to feel her weight on me, her soft skin wrapping me in its sensual embrace. This is too much to handle. Too much to take in and not panic.
I can feel the panic rising, forcing its way through my arousal and the post-slaying hornies. Faith seems to sense it and shifts so she’s almost pressed right against me, enveloping me in her desire. I moan quietly as daring fingers follow the edge of my panties to where I need her most. She doesn’t push them aside, choosing to lightly brush her fingertips over me through the cotton.
I almost burst right then, so much need inside of me for her. God I want her to touch me. I want her to take me and make me hers. I’m trembling, a mixture of fear because she’s a girl, doubt that this is right, and pure incomprehensible lust.
She circles her fingers over me delicately, teasing me through my panties. Her mouth so close to mine but not kissing me. On the verge. On the edge of letting go.
“What do you want, B?” she asks breathlessly, her lungs crying out for air as much as mine. “If you want me to stop tell me, I won’t push it. . .or if you. . .”
Faith’s fingers keep circling and they’re driving me all kinds of crazy. I want to tell her to fuck me but I can’t answer. I daren’t; that would be admitting total defeat. I keep the words inside but push my hips forwards so her fingers press firmer against me. It’s subtle but she gets it right away. Her finger slips under the cotton of my panties and I drench it.
Looking into her dark eyes one last time I lay back and close my own, moving my legs apart as I sigh for her touch, giving Faith what she wants and what I so desperately need from her.