Original Post: 05.03.03
Yesterday was mine and my girlfriend's six(66. Cheesy, I know, but fuck it) year anniversery, and we decided to spend the day in New Orleans and then go see X(men)2 that night. Though overall we had a great time, the morning began in drama. As I tried to wake her in a way that I would assume any person would find agreeable, I get not the cooing words passion but instead, " you're not really going to get those ugly tattos, are you?". Anyway, this comment, which actually stems from a very touchy subject in our relationship, bothered me to the point that I was seriously considering taking up homicide as a hobby. From this, a general coldness quickly grew between us until it began forming into a realization that the path our relationship is on was very bleak. Much drama, much drama. Regardless, after a climatic and emotional display at the Hard Rock Cafe (why is this sounding very pop-tart soap opera?), we finally got hold of ourselves, ignored our problems (I hear music! Fuck yeah, that's the only way to take it in), and set out to make the best of the day.

On our excursion, I was finally able to find and purchase a bottle of Chartreuse (forty fucking dollars for this shit and yes it's French, sorry America), official liquor of Poppy Z. Brite and her literary characters (which include ALL the characters in her book Lost Souls, even if she is ashamed of writing "a stupid vampire novel". Bitch). I was also able to pick up one or two X-mas presents for my homies, Hehe. bABY either wouldn't let me buy her things she liked or the ones that she would needed to be payed in cash only, which I rarely carry. At about 5:30 or so, we decided to go check out a strip club, before heading up to Coyote Ugly's for the Rod Ryan After-School Special. We decided on this low-end joint that featured Men and Women Sex Acts. This was obviously amateur shit, as any F.O.P. could tell you, but we were there for the fun of it. We spent the rest of our time in New Orleans in this place, it was too much fun. We met the two male dancers and one of the females. Later that night I decided to buy bABY a lap dance from each of the two males, Darvin and "the Other Guy". Other than a few complaints, I think she liked it. She then decided to buy one for me from Michelle(aka: Bootylicious), the female dancer we had been talking to. This girl is now one of my heros, she claims one boyfriend and eight, count them 8, girlfriends. Great shit man. Of course I was very embarassed, having large perfumed breasts in my face and my hands being guided on her flesh, and giggled like a drunken,little bitch. Keep in mind now, this was no hot, slim sex-kitten. This was a ghetto-fabulous booty dancer. I just want that visual to set in.

We finished the night up with X2 at the Palace. Which I was not disappointed by. It was a good as far as sequels go.

Crowning Drunken Achievements:

1) Spilled one of my $6.75 whiskey and cokes on my leg after only one sip. This was ok, because I still had one of my $6.75 Budweiser longnecks.

2) Trying to run back to the strip club to get my booksack that I had left, I trip on my pant leg and go for a superman minus the skateboard or the altitude.

Original Post: 04.19.03
cHERRY and I had a visit from uNCLE cID Friday night. I didn't have very much fun though. We spent most of the night visiting the cUTE pENGUIN from the rED iGLOO, which kinda freaked me out. I couldn't seem to keep track of which conversations involved my interaction nor could I seem to follow along with the ones that did. When I would try to converse, I would say things that were nowhere near what I had meant to say and I had, for some unknown reason, a feeling of uncomfortableness. This was not helped by the Clockwork Orange-esque brainwash I recieved in an attempt to amplify my, obviously unsatisfactory, intrest in the genius of Mike Patton. This was done by playing a VHS of about 10 Faith No More video's, from begining to end, at least twice. You see cHERRY seems to be under the impression that I utterly despise Patton's very essence on this plane of existance, and that i wish for nothing more than his total and painful demise. She passed her deduction on to the pENGUIN (her fellow Patton obsessee it would seem), thereby allowing them to form a psychic conspiratal duo whose sole purpose was to convert me over to the adoration of Patton. All and all it was the epitome of frustration. On the other hand I did get to see a skeletal form swimming through the gravel of my street in unison with the song Anger Management, by the band Lovage(yes with singer Mike Patton). That being all that was of any intrest that has happened to me recently, I am done.