Wake up, you're asleep at the wheel!
So, originally I had intended for a simple, reasonable night with bABY before I left. Go eat dinner, maybe catch a movie, rent some DVDs, or possibly go out for a little while and play some pool or something with our friends. After I got home from work and...ahem,....conversed with bABY, I decided to take a shower before we left to go eat. As I'm about to enter the shower the phone rings. It's an old friend of ours who was in the neighborhood, so we invited her to come eat dinner with us. We ate at Cucco's as we tried to think of something we could do while the night was still young. We later met up with oRPHAN at tHE sHOP, and somehow or another decided that we wanted to be in the presence of either uNCLE cID (who hasn't even been seen in ages) or my eX, sTACY. Well we plummeted into a mad stream of phone tag until we finally found my eX's whereabouts. Armed with this information and deadly sense of purpose we headed out to her location, picked her up, and carried her to our house.

Enter, one hour later. Those assembled in tHE sHED were: bABY, oRPHAN, sYN, our old friend and her boyfriend, and finally, myself. From that point on we talked, drank, danced, etc., until I realized that it was now daylight. I was still wide awake, and knew that there would be no real point to me going to sleep for an hour or two, so I stayed up and tried to get some of the packing, for my trip to Florida tonight, that should've been done days earlier. So, it ended up that it wasn't just simple night to be with bABY, and now I'll regret it because I'll only be able to see her briefly before I leave, If I get to see her at all. Yes all, I am a whipped bitch. I'm one of those guys that finds it hard to sleep without his girlfriend next to him, as well as the type who starts missing her before he has even left. Whatever.

I did however have a very good time with all that had attended last night, the usual tom-foolery usually associated with visits from my eX. did not commence, but nontheless, I had a great time. I wouldn't shut up to save the fate of the world, but I had a great time. Thinking back on it, it was definately one of those perfections in chemistry and the stars that you remember in later years. The kind of memory that will bring the look of nostalgia to your face and the blissful grin that one of my age has seen on many an older person's face when remembering "the good ol' days" or even worse "the golden years", saavy?

So, once again I would like to thank all of you that attended, It was a night I'll remember, and hopefully it had the same effect in return.

Burn the witches, burn the witches!
Had a pretty good New Year's Eve. bABY and I, along with sYN, oRPHAN, fRED D., and fRED D.'s midget girlfriend hung out at tHE sHED. I threw some burgers and saus-kage on the grill, bABY whipped up some deviled eggs, oRPHAN made some tater salad, and fRED D. made some weird ass chocolate cookies with Rolo's in the middle. We played a couple games, drank alot of alcohol, and made a bonfire out of some packing crates and the crosses from the Samhain party's graveyard (I saved 6 of them though, you never know when you'll need six grave markers). At midnight we fired off some explosives, drank some champagne that came in an all black bottle, and then bABY and I were forced to eat canned herring in Louisiana hot sauce whilst we held quarters in our hands(don't ask, my mother needs medication). I unfortunately had to go to bed a little after that due to me starting back at my virtual tour photographer job and having an appointment at noon the next day in a city that is two hours away.

Sunday night I will be leaving for Cape Coral, Fl. in order to visit my grandparents, great aunt and my favorite cousin (actually not just favorite, she's the only one I have that I like to talk to). She is 14, lives in Miami with my uncle Brent and her mother and siblings, has a D-cup bra (now the world knows, Cuz, hahahahaha!), and since her mother's side is Cuban, she curses me out in spanish and I don't know what the hell she is saying. I'm planning on bringing my fang equipment and making her some fangs to scare all the normal people in Florida with. I'll bring back some pix to put into lUST.

I'm glad I'm getting to go see them, but I am not looking forward to the 11 hour drive there and then back again at the end of the week.

....and a happy new year?
So christmas is finally over. Let's all take a huge sigh of relief. I can't really say that this was the best christmas of my life, though I can say that Elisa and I were happier with each other this time around. I was invited to two holiday parties, (odd) though I could only make one of them. The party I was able to attend was thrown by an old time friend of mine that I had just recently got reaquanted with (and actually started playing D & D with on a weekly basis.....Come to the dork side.....we have beer!). Unfortunately, I don't do very well around alot of strangers, especially whilst there is beer aplenty. I spent the night yelling out ridiculous things, breaking the dead bolt and door frame of my friends house (yes, that is the second time I've done this to a friend of mines house, I don't know why I do this, so don't ask), and just basicly being a ignorant fucking drunk. Chaulk them up, bub, I'm ready for another round. To add on to that list of crowning achievments, the next day at our game, I blurted out what my friend's girlfriend had gotten her sister for christmas. OY! OY! Paul Weller!

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, only three creatures were stirring cause Elisa and I were in the Quarter with her mother and her mother's husband. We drank, we ate, we drank some more, we danced, I got shots shoved down my throat by a cute watress's mouth, we drank some more, we left. That was really that, there was some mention of me getting aggrevated about Elisa refusing to drink coffee due to heart palpatations and me not knowing.

Christmas day we woke up and took presents next door to my mother and her boyfriend before heading back to Elisa's mothers house. We had sweet potato pancakes for breakfast, and when Elisa's brother and his girlfriend got there we had turkey and whatnot. I was not happy to be there due to one comment too many behind mine and Elisa's backs. I'm not too thrilled at having to pretend to be chummy chummy with back-stabbing, two-faced socialites, which seems to be the case alot when we visit members of her family. Anyway we finally left and went back home. There we decided to delay our presence next door at my mother's house for a little R&R (nudge nudge, wink wink!)

We finished the night off at my mother's house, where they were havig a gathering of their own that involved my mother's boyfriend's family. His mother, sister, niece, and nephew were there. They're pretty good people, and we had a good time. The niece and the nephew are in our age group so we usually can find something to talk about. Good food, cheap champagne (but hey it's alcoholic, and that's all that counts). After the guests had left, we settled down to watch the first three episodes of the Neverwhere series which was written by Neil Gaiman before he had turned it into a novel (damn good one too). Now life returns to whatever is considered normal. Here I am at work. I'm going to read my Tank Girl graphic novel now.

My Taunting List of Gifts I Got!
Envy Me Maggot!
- Super, death-mega power drill with all sorts of bits, bobs, peepers, and tallywags.
- Tank Girl graphic novel/Nightmares and Fairy Tales comic.
- Pinhead toy
- Two pairs of pants and shirts from a company called South Pole. Cool pants but the shirts make me feel like calling people dawg and G.
- X2 dvd.
- Giftcards to bookstore and Blockbuster.
- Bottle of wine.
- Bread oil cantor with wee little bowls for dipping.
- Black long sleeved shirt with skull and cross-bones on it cause I'm a pirate and a well fitting sweater thing.
I think that is it, but I'm probably wrong. Merry Christmas and all that other bullshit.

I fucking hate Christmas!
I'm sure I will carry this motherfucker all the way through untill February, but still. - I have to admit this is a record. It has taken me this long into December before I've gotten pissed due to Christmas bullshit.
Now here is the deal. If I get to 10 things that have pissed me off due to Christmas bullshit, I'm going to strike back against all these carolling assholes. It starts:

1) Hot Topic:
I've been shopping at this fucking store for about 4 or 5 years. Every year I spend a goodly amount of money in the place and get a little stamp on my card. For every ten dollars you spend you get a stamp. Every year at Christmass I go and buy the majority of my gifts at this store, use all my cards in one transaction and start the whole cycle over again. This year however they decide to change. So, I come up with my purchases and they tell me they can only use one card. I put up a slight resistance, but finally agree. Supposedly that they weren't supposed to be doing that ever and that I just had a cool guy for the last 4 years or so. That's fine. After using only one card (15% off) I still have a bill of $85. I ask them to stamp my card and they tell me that they don't stamp cards on purchases that have had a discount taken off of them. So, just to make sure I'm hearing this right, I inquire. "What your telling me is that even though I'm obviously a frequent shopper here (hence the numerous already filled cards) and the fact that, even after the 15% off this purchase, I've still spent over $80 here, I can't get any stamps for this purchase?" Of couse they say no. Fuck them. Anyway that was my Hot Topic story, good night.

Short-Change.
First weekend where I don't have to worry about what assignments is due the next week. This semester sucked so much dick it made MY jaw hurt. What the fuck was going through my mind scheduling my two worst subjects math and foreign languages, specifically Statistics and Spanish 102, not only the same semester but the same goddamned day? Now of the clincher. Enter final exam week. I have an oral interview in Spanish that I have to memorize. I had been studying this thing for four days straight. In the introduction I tell what the date of the day is, which would be the date of the exam. Here I am for four days, "Hoy es el diez de Diciembre, Hoy es el diez de Diciembre" (that's the 10th of December for those of you who are worse at this shit then I am). I knew my Spanish exam was at 12:30, so I was leaving my house at 11:00 to make sure I'm there on time. About halfway to school (which is an hour from my home, by the way) I am overcome by confusion, which quickly turns to panic and then anger as I come to the realization that the date was actually the 9th. That meant that the Spanish exam was actually the following day. That meant that the exam that I was actually supposed to be going to was for my Statistics class. Ok, break it down. It's Tuesday the 9th (not the 10th), the exam of the day was Statistics (not Spanish), and the time of the exam was for 10:15-12:15 (not 12:30-2:30).

TIME: 11:00
It takes 15 minutes at deathwishing, road rage speed to get back home because, of course, my calculator is there and not in the car where it had never left before all semester long.
TIME: 11:15
It takes 35 minutes to get to my university after retrieving my calculator from my house, and an additional 15 to get across campus and to the class room.
TIME: 12:05
It is here that I create an elaborate and ingenius story that was utterly free of holes that involved my car breaking down, girlfriends being called from work, borrowing of other cars, etc., etc., etc.
Success! I am told that I can take the exam on the following morning.....the day that my Spanish exam is......and only if I bring in documentation proving that my car had been towed or worked on or anything that shows that my car wouldn't start.

Ok, the whining of this entry has gotten so bad that, I'm going to sleep (the Vicodin has nothing to do with it). Anyway, I gotta go pick up sYN and oRPHAN. Tonight is sYN and sNAKE'S birthday party. Oh, and I got my first new car today. It's a black '04 Nissan Sentra. That is all.

Original Post: 09.13.03
Ok, so entirely too much shit has happened since June. So we will pretend they never existed. I'm not in the whining mood, nor have I been recently, hence the lack of entries. Let's see, I started school again this month. I'm now a sophmore, whoop-dee fucking doo Right?

This semester I'm taking: Statistics, Span. 102, Intmd. Drawing, Basic 2/D Design, and some bullshit required Library Science shit. I've been swamped down every week due to the H.W. assignments from Itmd. Drawing. Massive amounts of drawing and paper are required for this class, but I get to stare at a naked girl for three hours, twice a week and my drawing and my ideas have both increased greatly already.

I recently picked up home brewing as a hobby. I bottled my first attempt , a metheglin mead, yesterday. It tasted good though a little too sweet, but I really didn't notice any alcohol in it. I will be attending a meeting of the local home brewing organization this thursday. Hopefully I will pick up some useful info. I'm going to bring them two bottles of my mead to try out. My next batch, which is the same recipe (but I did a couple things differently), will be racked to the secondary fermenter on monday, and then bottled on the 29th. After that batch is bottled I will have produced 24 bottles of mead. Damn. I printed up some labels for 4 of the bottles so I can store them away. The rest will be shared or drank on Halloween.

I'm also on the lookout and trying to save up for a 200+ lbs. anvil. I'm planning on trying my hand at some bladesmithing and maybe a little creative blacksmithing one day. I just don't seem to have enough time or funds to do all the shit I need to before I croak. Note to self, find a fucking vampire already and get the motherfucer to turn you. What's a little homicidal addiction in exchange for enough time to do everything, right?

So we are supposed to have this monster Samhain party this year, but as usual, almost nobody seems to have the time or spirit to want to pitch in and help. Piss me off. Anyway, I will probably end up breaking my bank accounts and freaking out due to lack of sleep and shit but I will get this fucking party on. Just hope it doesn't fucking rain.

Anyway, that should be about it. I guess I'll go back to drawing my sacreligious pictures again.

Original Post: 06.21.03
This Parish is so fucking dead of amusement. What the fuck is there to do anymore? I could be wrong here, but how worthless is existing when you hunger for the next game of Dungeons & Dragons or Diablo 2 (over a LAN, no less) like some Trekkie, R.A. Salvatore fan, because everything else has been exhausted. I'm tired of waking up everyday to such a bland existence. The world has been raped of all wonder and mystery. We played it too fast. Now we just have to sit here, stuck in mediocre reruns of what has already been, and wait for the new version of reality. I wonder if I can pirate the next version upgrade from Kazaa. Hmmm.

Original Post: 05.16.03
So I spent all day yesterday cleaning my house and only got half the damn house clean. Afterwards however, fRED D. and I met up with cHERRY,the pENGUIN, and one of the pENGUIN's daughters to go to the Great European Circus, which was performing for "one night only" in Chalmette. fRED D. and I expected the worst so we steeled ourselves with a tRAVELLING J on the ride there. We met the ladies there and set forth into the worst circus ever imagined. My initial impression of the production was that it was strangely eerie. It gave me the feeling of one of those horror movies like Something Wicked This Way Comes, (You know the ones where the circus is cheap and rundown and the people who run it are all seriously depraved freaks that fornicate with the animals and each other, or they are really souless denziens of evil, sent out to capture the pure souls of children for their dark lord). Further into the production however, I realized that they were more along the normal everyday degenerates, who had no spirit for what they were doing nor any respect for themselves or the animals they used in their act. They kept their monkeys in cages that had only enough room to fit them in. This was also true for the two massive pythons they had. Furthermore, when they brought out one of the monkey performers, it was obvious that he was irate and had no love for his two "trainers" that were in the ring with him. Amongst the many disturbing points in this particular act, the sommersaults were the worst. The woman they had leading the monkey's performance ordered him to sommersault, which he did. However, when he did not want to do anymore, she had him jump and then would yank his leash backwards so that he was forced to sommersault by his throat. Needless to say I was a bit disturbed (Yes fuck all you hunting, fur-wearing, animal killers. May you all burn in hell. Now I'm going to Outback for a steak).
After the performance, we all decided to go to Burger King. After ordering, we all sat in the play area so that the pENGUIN's daughter could frolic in the tower of nets and tubes. Halfway through our meal though, the pENGUIN jumps up and starts freaking out. Her daughter had obviously climbed to the top of the structure and found a hole in the netting that I could have probably crawled through, let alone a 4 year old child. When the pENGUIN and Fred D. went into the stucture to get her, they discovered that certain cells of the thing had had shit splattered and smeared upon their walls. This all resulted in the cops being called and a medium amount of drama.
All of this was odd, because going into Chalemette, fRED D. and I were discussing why you always hear how shitty Chalemette is.

Original Post: 05.03.03
Yesterday was mine and my girlfriend's six(66. Cheesy, I know, but fuck it) year anniversery, and we decided to spend the day in New Orleans and then go see X(men)2 that night. Though overall we had a great time, the morning began in drama. As I tried to wake her in a way that I would assume any person would find agreeable, I get not the cooing words passion but instead, " you're not really going to get those ugly tattos, are you?". Anyway, this comment, which actually stems from a very touchy subject in our relationship, bothered me to the point that I was seriously considering taking up homicide as a hobby. From this, a general coldness quickly grew between us until it began forming into a realization that the path our relationship is on was very bleak. Much drama, much drama. Regardless, after a climatic and emotional display at the Hard Rock Cafe (why is this sounding very pop-tart soap opera?), we finally got hold of ourselves, ignored our problems (I hear music! Fuck yeah, that's the only way to take it in), and set out to make the best of the day.

On our excursion, I was finally able to find and purchase a bottle of Chartreuse (forty fucking dollars for this shit and yes it's French, sorry America), official liquor of Poppy Z. Brite and her literary characters (which include ALL the characters in her book Lost Souls, even if she is ashamed of writing "a stupid vampire novel". Bitch). I was also able to pick up one or two X-mas presents for my homies, Hehe. bABY either wouldn't let me buy her things she liked or the ones that she would needed to be payed in cash only, which I rarely carry. At about 5:30 or so, we decided to go check out a strip club, before heading up to Coyote Ugly's for the Rod Ryan After-School Special. We decided on this low-end joint that featured Men and Women Sex Acts. This was obviously amateur shit, as any F.O.P. could tell you, but we were there for the fun of it. We spent the rest of our time in New Orleans in this place, it was too much fun. We met the two male dancers and one of the females. Later that night I decided to buy bABY a lap dance from each of the two males, Darvin and "the Other Guy". Other than a few complaints, I think she liked it. She then decided to buy one for me from Michelle(aka: Bootylicious), the female dancer we had been talking to. This girl is now one of my heros, she claims one boyfriend and eight, count them 8, girlfriends. Great shit man. Of course I was very embarassed, having large perfumed breasts in my face and my hands being guided on her flesh, and giggled like a drunken,little bitch. Keep in mind now, this was no hot, slim sex-kitten. This was a ghetto-fabulous booty dancer. I just want that visual to set in.

We finished the night up with X2 at the Palace. Which I was not disappointed by. It was a good as far as sequels go.

Crowning Drunken Achievements:

1) Spilled one of my $6.75 whiskey and cokes on my leg after only one sip. This was ok, because I still had one of my $6.75 Budweiser longnecks.

2) Trying to run back to the strip club to get my booksack that I had left, I trip on my pant leg and go for a superman minus the skateboard or the altitude.

Original Post: 04.19.03
cHERRY and I had a visit from uNCLE cID Friday night. I didn't have very much fun though. We spent most of the night visiting the cUTE pENGUIN from the rED iGLOO, which kinda freaked me out. I couldn't seem to keep track of which conversations involved my interaction nor could I seem to follow along with the ones that did. When I would try to converse, I would say things that were nowhere near what I had meant to say and I had, for some unknown reason, a feeling of uncomfortableness. This was not helped by the Clockwork Orange-esque brainwash I recieved in an attempt to amplify my, obviously unsatisfactory, intrest in the genius of Mike Patton. This was done by playing a VHS of about 10 Faith No More video's, from begining to end, at least twice. You see cHERRY seems to be under the impression that I utterly despise Patton's very essence on this plane of existance, and that i wish for nothing more than his total and painful demise. She passed her deduction on to the pENGUIN (her fellow Patton obsessee it would seem), thereby allowing them to form a psychic conspiratal duo whose sole purpose was to convert me over to the adoration of Patton. All and all it was the epitome of frustration. On the other hand I did get to see a skeletal form swimming through the gravel of my street in unison with the song Anger Management, by the band Lovage(yes with singer Mike Patton). That being all that was of any intrest that has happened to me recently, I am done.