July 15, 11:11 AM............
I have not updated in a bit. Sorry.

Nothing much happened. Actually, my uncle returned from Malaysia. That's cool. I saw my sexay boyfriend. That was VERY cool.

Really, I have nothing interesting to say. if I think of something later, perhaps I'll enlighten you with my words of wisdom.

I finished planning on what I will do for my comic book submission, as far as a sort of script for my submission piece. I must draw it. My mission.

That's all. I'm not in the best mood.

xXx Courtney xXx

July 10, 11:44 PM......
My step-mum decided to put restrictions on my internet times. Now I only go until midnight, which really bites.

AND... other unpleasant things have happened today. Let's review the unpleasantness, shall we..?

I started my period. (The blood is nearly black in colour... is there somethin WRONG with me?!?)

I barely ate anything, yet I feel as if I'd eaten too much.

I got only five hours of sleep.

I'm just stressed in general. I mean... yeah. Stressed.

Bye now. I hope genital-ripping monkeys find you in your sleep.. you will have NO GENITALS!! Monkeys...

My nose is congested. Grr.

xXx Courtney xXx

July 9, 7:46.....
Hello there.

I've returned.

So nothing really happened the past few days that I'd refused to update from laziness. Yep. Except the night before last, I slept in for twelve hours!!! Isn't that something? Twelve. I'm on a ROLL... oh, wait, lastnight I only slept five hours. Back to the regular routine, eh?

So I've updated my JTHM fics at www.fanfiction.net. For those of you who don't know, JTHM=Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, which is a comic book by Jhonen Vasquez. If you can't figure out what the comic book is about just by the title, I pity you.

Anyway, I write fanfiction about the comic, which are stories based on it or involving characters from it.

Anyway, if you ever go there out of curiosity to read them, it is www.fanfiction.net and click on Find. Then, select Search By Title or whatever it is and type in "Daddy Loves You". Then scroll and look for a story with the name Todd in the summary and click on it. After you've read that, just click my name and see my Bio and other fics.

Enjoy, stink monkeys!!

That is really all. Don't you see how uneventful it's been?

xXx Courtney xXx

July 5, 12:17 AM.....
My July Fourth was somewhat eventful... Please. Make yourself comfortable as I tell my experience this year.

So it started out a nice day. We went to a lake that my grandparents live on, and almost every time that we'd visited this lake, I'd never swam. I didn't like the hotness of the sun and the risk of burning my prized pale skin (although the trip to Oregon ruined my pale skin for a bit..). Also, I just didn't like the idea of outside. I usually stayed inside, reading/sketching and listening to music.

So, anyhow, I ended up not only going outside -- but SWIMMING also!! I mean, isn't that amazing?! Um... well it is to me and my family. They were all like... "Courtney? You swam? Why??" and stuff. Hehe. I am still antisolar, though.

So on the dock, my parents, grandparents and aunts set up a bunch of Roman Candles, pretty fireworks and a bucket of about a hundred artillery shells. So my Aunt Kristin, Grandpa and some other guy named Dale were on the dock (getting ready to light some Roman Candles?). Suddenly, there is whistling and booming everywhere, and I spin around to see a breathtaking display of ALL the artillery shells exploding AT ONCE. It was beautiful and dangerous, and then it dawned on me that three individuals had been on the dock before this explosion...

But all was well, they'd all jumped into the lake and gotten away before they got injured. I was a little shaken by it, but I'm okay now.

Also, there was a huge moth in the kitchen in my grandparents' house... i was SO paranoid.. it wasn't even funny. EVERYONE KNOW THIS: MOTHS ARE EVIL AND ARE PLANNING YOUR DEMISE!!! Yesss... they may LOOK harmless... but that's all part of the MASTER PLAN... I'm onto them... O.o

So yeah. Everything is super-duper now. I slept two hours last night, and I'm still going good! Now leave me alone, monkey lickers.

I hope your nightmares are filled with huge fuzzy moths that slowly peel away your flesh and suck out your inner juices... UNTIL YOU ARE JERKY!! YES! THAT'S RIGHT!! JEEERRRKKYYY!!! *cough* Leave me alone now.

xXx Courtney xXx

July 4, 11:07 AM.......
I feel absolutely dead. I mean really... lastnight, I stayed up until 6:forty-something-or-other and decided that I should try sleep. Previously, though, throughout the morning hours, I hadn't felt the need to sleep. But I decided I should try, seeing as I grew a LITTLE BIT tired.

So I lay down at 6:forty-something-or-other and tried to sleep. I tossed, turned, stared at the ceiling, and it was hard to get to any sleep. When I finally DID get to sleep, though, it only lasted one or two hours. ONE OR TWO!! And now I feel like the living freakin' dead.

Also, I went up finally to see if any food looked good, but my stomach feels pretty full, though I've barely had an adequate meal in HOURS. So I pass this mirror, right?... I was so entranced by my reflection! Not only do I FEEL dead, I LOOK dead too!! I mean, though I have some serious freckles, my skin was paper-white and my lips almost blood red without any gloss or lipstick previously. My eyeliner hadn't rubbed off, but smeared just enough to make my eyes look cold and sort of sunken. Plus, my hair is messed up beyond a brush's repair.

I thought it was cool. Hehe.

I am a little concerned with myself... I should be ravenous and near-sleeping in my seat, but I'm neither. Hmmm. Ah well. A couple people have told me I should see a doctor about my sleep. And my father already thinks I'm going anorexic not eating and all. I'm not, but whatever. Skip a few meals and you're automatically an anorexic, aren'tcha?

Yesterday I went to my grandparent's house. We were gonna watch some fireworks go off the day before the Fourth of July... I found that odd, but did not complain. It was very pretty.

But before that, I was bored out of my mind. My grandparents and aunt wanted to see the video stuff we took for our Oregon trip, which I'd already seen, and I lost interest after a few seconds and went outside.

When I went out there, I kinda studied the sky. I was also worrying over my boyfriend, because I'd said I'd talk to him at 10:30 lastnight and I ended up staying at my grandparents' place until 11:30 and got home at midnight. ANYWAYS...

So I lay down in the grass, ignoring any bugs that buzzed by, and I meditated. Well, actually, I was trying to astrally project myself to my boyfriend's house, so I could see him. And the funny thing is...

It almost worked! I mean, I felt like floating off, like floating away, and at one glorious moment I felt myself rising from... myself... and then I made the mistake of making my previously cleared mind full of thoughts, and I settled back down rather quickly.

Though I never achieved astral projection, I DID achieve a sort of inner peace. I mean, I felt absolutely blissful and clean and I was in some sort of Nirvana. It was like an inner (and outer?) peace betwixt body and mind, and it felt wonderful.

After that I studied the sky some more, then tried meditating again. Though I didn't get such a blissful and peaceful feeling the second time, it was still soothing.

At about ten, ten-thirty, I was outside in the darkness, alone, singing. I sang many songs to myself, like that, on the grass. At times, I thought some guy in his window was listening. I NEVER sing in front of people. Know this. But I figured he probably couldn't hear me... you was practicing his guitar, you know... but when he'd look at me for long moments, I figured that he had heard me.

I was having a great time by myself. That was better than the fireworks, I think.

Anyway, enough. I need to... shove something down my throat. Something breakfasty. So leave me alone now.

OH! No! I just remembered something! As I chatted with my boyfriend the other night, I had to pause to go upstairs. So anyway, I go to the bathroom quickly, and when I come out, I think that I'm hearing footsteps. I shake my head, knowing it was my imagination, but then there it is... Heavy, thumping footsteps scurrying across the kitchen floor next to me!! I freaked out and ran away, back to the computer, afraid to look back and see a man in there.

Why do these things always happen to me??

So I hope your day is filled with scary little alien men who grab you and probe your nekkid arse. WITH AN ALIEN PROBE!! Ha.

xXx Courtney xXx

July 2, 11:05 AM.......
Well, I am back from Oregon. And I am sunburned.

But all is well. I loved my trip. Except I went into this sauna, you see, and it was kinda cool for a while.. and then I SMELLED the place... it was so gross I almost puked on the spot. The smell of a sauna churns the contents of my stomach like nothing else.

I ate a lotta clam chowder too. Good stuff.

OOH! I GOT ME SPIKEY BRACELETS!! I love them!! I bought them at this one place in Oregon, 'cause I was IN Oregon. Anyhow, they were $3.95 each!! BY FAR, the cheapest I've seen for spiked bracelets. I am content.

I miss my boyfriend like GRAVY! Actually, I do not miss any gravy, but the word popped into my mind and I chose to say it. I miss him a whole bunches... I wanna be with him and kiss him... *whimper*...

I really have nothing else to say. Please have a good night/day/afternoon WHATEVER!

I am hungry. I's gonna go now.

June 27, 7:40 AM....
I am sincerely sorry that I haven't been updating regularly. I either keep forgetting or I just ignore it, seeing as I can do it the next day, but still I procrastinate.

Anyway, I'm here now, so it doesn't matter. There's nothing much that is new, except that I am going to Oregon for the June 28-July 1. It'll be okay, but I'm not looking forward to the drive there or back. Plus my grandparents are gonna be there... :p bleh.

Anyway, I have begun a new sketch in my sketchbook. This one will be rather gory, and I'm hoping to make it look good. It's a disemboweled, dismembered woman wearing bondage tape in some places that I wasn't interested in drawing, like over parts of her breasts and between her legs. I also have her head shaved and her face covered in bondage tape as well, so that she would've struggled breathing as she was ripped open and apart.

I'm getting more into looking at disturbing art. I've also been to a few disturbing photography sites. One I visited was a compilation of pictures of women wearing bondage related items or in strange and interesting machines. One woman was completely naked and her throat had this huge metal ring around it, and a hook attached to it let up to a strange machine. It was veeery interesting, but since I wasn't that into looking at naked women, I got out. But if curiosity prevails, I would probably go back. not for the thrill of seeing naked women, that is, because I am a girl myself and straight. I want to see the different kinds of machines he'd attached these women to, how they're chained up.

Anyway, that's enough of my morbidness for now... um... I really like the Murderdolls. I mean, they're brilliant. Their music is so awesome! But my parents won't let me get their CD, for it's Parental Advisory. Grr. Later on... later on... I'll have it... perhaps they'll decide to make an edited? I dunno, sounds like there's a lotta F-BOMBING (Heh I love saying that... F-Bomb...) in there. Hmm...

Nothing much happened in the past week except loss of sleep. Also, lastnight, I woke at like three-something in the morning and my whole right arm was numb, from the top where it connects to the socket to my fingertips. I freaked out and pulled the dead arm onto my lap, trying to move it. Since it was completely numb, I began rubbing it to stimulate bood circulation, but it re-circulated on its own. I remember feeling quite relieved as the blood rushed back, and it was one of the coolest feelings ever. Yeah. I'm always paranoid that a numbed limb will remain numb forever.

So, that's about it. I'm not updating until four days are up after this, so I hope you've enjoyed today's madness.

xXx Courtney xXx

June 22, 11:32 AM....
I don't know how many hours of sleep I got lastnight, but I remember staying up until 2:30 or something. Maybe three. But I don't know what time I woke. I got in six and a half hours at least. Maybe seven. Efficient enough.

Some of yesterday and most of this morning I have this sour acid taste in my throat. I wanna puke sometimes but my stomach isn't wanting to puke. I just have the acidy taste, and it's hot and annoying. I've contemplated whether I should just make myself puke or not, but if I still have an acidy taste afterward, then I'd be puking for nothing.

My stomach says to try to eat something but this acid taste prevents me from touching anything in fear of throwing it up.

I found out lastnight that I like the band Nile. They're really good. I also might like the Misfits, but I can't be for sure.

I also listened to bands that disappointed me to a point of depression. Nightwish, My Dying Bride, Midnight Syndicate... they suck so badly. Other bands that didn't make it onto an "Ooh These Guys Rock" list are Broken Hope, Cremation, Deaden and Engrave. Stupid bands.

That's all for now.

xXx Courtney xXx

June 21, 10:18 PM....
I think I stated earlier that I only got about four hours worth of sleep lastnight. I didn't get the wonderful chance to slip into slumber during the afternoon, though, and I will state the reasons why...

See, the situation is that I was sitting in the front seat of a minivan with my aunt, three cousins and sister crammed in as well. It was actually a perfect fit, so I'm not complaining about room. I had my two-year-old cousin sitting directly behind me. Since I was extremely tired, I put on my headphones to KoRn's album "Untouchables" and tried to doze off.

Several times, that sweet slumber almost came to me. But NO, it had to be robbed!! My baby cousin kept kicking my seat, and no matter how annoyed or frustrated I got, I kept my mouth shut. And even when he DIDN'T kick the seat, my thirteen-year-old cousin and my sister (twelve years old) kept yelling at me to tell me something. All I gained was relaxation, which wasn't enough. I needed sleep.

I found out today that if you're ravenously hungry and really tired, then you think a lot clearer. For me, anyway. On an empty stomach and a weary body, I can think about things clearly and my mind won't let up until I actually fall asleep or fill my stomach (which I REALLY don't need to do, mind you).

I know what you're going to say, Dustin dear, that I am not fat and all, but it's just hard for me to believe. Sorry.

Back on subject... oh wait, I was finished there. My day was somewhat good, even though I lacked sleep. Now I must see what is in for me tonight, whether I stay up like a zombie or fall asleep mercifully at an appropriate time.

(BTW, appropriate bedtimes for me range between 11:30 PM - 2:30 AM.)

So that is all I have for you today.

May YOUR sleep be interrupted by kicking, screaming kids and babies!! May you experience such a hunger that you begin eating your own flesh!! Grr...

xXx Courtney xXx

June 21, 10:49 AM.....
Yesterday was good. I tried to get a hold of my good friend Tosha, but her mom was on the phone. Being the lazy bum I can be sometimes, I emailed my friend and told her to call Tosha instead, with the information that was to be delivered to her.

But I DID call my boyfriend, who was available, and we had a nice conversation until he signed on, and we got off the phone and chatted. We chatted for only fifteen to thirty minutes, and then we got on later at night and chatted for an hour and a half or so.

I looove him. ^_^ I can't wait to see him. Hope I see him soon.

I like this new band called Crimson Thorn. Well, they're new to me anyway... they're death metal and quite unpopular, so I wouldn't be able to find much of their music anywhere where I live. Hm.

I stayed up lastnight until like 6:something-or-other in the morning, and THEN I had a light four hour sleep. I'm still a little tired and stuff... I'll probably collapse sometime in the afternoon, and be up all night again.

I finally watched Scary Movie 2. It's funny at a lot of parts, but all in all it's pretty stupid. I will never stop loving the black guy with the afro, Shorty. He is absolutely the best. That funny little tweaker.

Well, I'm done now.

No insults in me right now.

xXx Courtney xXx