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Chapter 22

Kevin had put off the phone call for over twenty-four hours…not even checking the voice mail she’d left.  Now, alone in his office as he waited for Kristen to get ready for their dinner date with Howie and Leigh, he pulled out his phone, called his voice mail, and entered his pass-code.  Listening, “Kevin, it’s me.  Give me a call please.  I need to talk to you about Stevie.” 

The one major mistake in his life…the night he’d been unfaithful to Kristen and hurt another friend.  He knew his father would be extremely disappointed in him, especially knowing that he was not taking complete responsibility for his actions.   

Kevin opened his desk drawer and shuffled the pile of papers to reveal a picture of a dirty-blonde haired little boy with blue-gray eyes.  God, he looked just like his mother and his mind went to that night when he’d been with her. 

“Hey, Kev!  What’s up?” questioned Howie startling the older man. 

“’D’, I didn’t hear you.” 

“I knocked first.”  Taking a seat across from Kevin at the desk, he handed him a newspaper.  “You remember Jesse?  She use to hang out with us and had a crush on you.” 

“I remember her.  Why?”   

This was coincidence that Howie was bringing her up now. 

“There’s a picture of her in the paper…check out the entertainment section.” 

Kevin opened the paper, turning to the section Howie had told him about.  At the top of the page above a picture – Is Richie Sambora robbing the cradle?  In the picture was Jesse with Richie holding hands as they walked through LAX.  He shook his head and tossed the paper back onto his desk.  She was in California…with Richie. 

“She always liked him.  Glad she finally met him,” said Kevin flatly. 

Howie studied the older man.  There was more going on than Kevin was saying.  “Jesse had a crush on you too.” 

“So?” he said as he shrugged his shoulders and stood.  He turned his back on Howie as his mind raced.  He had only told his attorney and Kristen about that night in Virginia but he’d never really talked about it…never dealt with the guilt he felt for the way he’d treated Jesse.  He needed to get it out now.  “Howie, close the door.” 

Howie did as Kevin asked and sat back down.  He didn’t say anything; he knew Kevin had something on his mind. 

“I never told you or the other guys the full truth about why I left the group.”  Kevin’s back was still to Howie but he turned now, tears in his eyes and guilt etched in his chiseled features.  “The last night of the club tour we did….Kristen and I got into an argument on the phone and I got drunk.  Jesse was there, hanging out with me.  I convinced her to go back to the room with me.” 

Kevin stopped, wiped his cheeks, and handed Howie the picture he’d been looking at earlier.  “She kept saying ‘no’ but I kept pushing her.  I even called her a tease for flirting with me and letting me undress her.  I knew how she felt about me and I knew I could never give her more.  I was so pissed at Kristen that night though and I wanted…I don’t know what the hell I wanted.  We….made love….and the next morning, I left without saying ‘good-bye’.  When she came to the ‘Never Gone’ show in Northern Virginia, she was three months pregnant with Stevie….my son.” 

Howie was floored.  “Stevie’s your son?  Are you sure?” 

“She was a virgin when we….I never doubted her but Phil insisted on a paternity test and she agreed.” 

“Other than pictures, have you ever seen him?” 

“I flew there when he was born, spent a few days with them….got them home.” 

“Does Kristen know?” 

“Yeah, I told her but we really don’t talk about Stevie or Jesse.  I send child support every month and for birthdays and Christmas, I send extra.  He started school this year and she asked me to pay for private school so I agreed.”  Kevin stopped, swallowed the lump in his throat.  “Part of my decision to leave the group was because I took advantage of a fan.  She trusted me and I used it against her to get a piece of ass!  Now, all I do is send money for her to raise my son...alone.” 

Howie remained quiet because he knew Kevin had punished himself enough. 

“She called yesterday…while I was with Kristen and Mason and I ignored the call.  I just listened to her message and she wants to talk to me about Stevie.” 

“She’s in the area, why don’t you call and see if you can see her?” 

Kevin shook his head, “I don’t know.  All I know is that I need to call her.” 

“Want me to leave you alone?” 

He gave another shake of his head ‘no’ as he picked up the phone, dialed the number, and waited.

Chapter 23        Index