Chapter 113
Richie's desire for Jesse to focus on herself came to fruition and the key was taking her away from Virginia and immersing her in his world. Of course, her mind was already overwhelmed with the wedding plans plus handling his business and the new fan club. He also made sure she rested. Jesse missed Stevie a great deal and spoke to him daily but she didn't have time to dwell on Kevin's games.
Now, it was the night before Richie had to leave and he was worried about leaving her. He was busy packing his overnight bag and she was sitting in the middle of their bed staring at the laptop. She was supposed to be updating 'Jesse's Gang' but every time he would look at her, she was simply staring at the screen. Once or twice, he caught her wiping a tear away.
Finished, Richie closed his bag, set it by the door, and joined her on the bed. Sitting behind her, he moved her hair to one side and placed a kiss on her neck. "It's only for a week, Jess, and it'll fly by before you know it."
"I know," she answered softly leaning back against him.
"Got your plane ticket?"
"And Ava's with my passport and Tony took my stuff when he got yours."
"When is Ava joining you?"
"June 3rd. She's flying in to Richmond."
"Are you going to be okay driving back to Virginia by yourself?"
"I won't be alone. Ashley's been here for a couple days with Tony so she's going with me."
Richie took the laptop, closed it, and set it on the floor. Then he lay her back on the bed. Tenderly, he wiped the tears away and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Promise me you'll take plenty of breaks."
"I promise," she said, almost in a whisper. She placed her hand on his and turned to place a kiss in his palm. "You worry about me too much sometimes but I love you all the more for it."
"I worry because I love you. Are you still going to the Backstreet concert?"
"The one in Raleigh and I'm flying out of there at one in the morning. I'll be in London in time for the first show at the O2."
"You're going to be exhausted, Jess. I'd rather you go to the hotel and rest...skip the first show."
"I can sleep on the plane, Rich. You DID get me first class seats and I know those seats are big enough for me to get comfortable and go to sleep."
"Baby, you're going to have jet lag. Trust me. Why do you think we leave a few days before the first show?"
"Never really thought about it."
"It's to give us time to rest."
Jesse thought about it, then said, "It's just aw well that I wear myself out. I usually can't sleep well in a strange bed anyway. Now stop worrying about me."
"Can't help it. I love you that much," smiled Richie touching his finger to the tip of her nose.
Jesse sighed happily. "Do you realize that in four weeks, we'll be married?"
"Sure do."
"Are you ready to give up your freedom?"
"Sure am!"
"Are you positive? I heard the interview you did in February before we met where you said you were enjoying being a bachelor again."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Are you ready to be tied to an old man?"
"Tied to you, yes, but I don't know about being tied to an old man."
Richie caressed her cheek lovingly. She'd never considered him an old man or thought twice about the age difference and he loved her all the more for it. "What are you going to do while we're apart?"
"Besides the concert, there's Stevie's graduation and I have a couple doctors' appointments before I pick Ava up at the airport."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I managed to get an appointment with the BEST cardiologist in Virginia."
"I wish you had made it so I could go with you."
"I was lucky to get THIS appointment. It usually takes months to get one...unless they bring you into the emergency room with a heart attack. I promise though that I'll get him to sent you a detailed report."
"List me as the party responsible for the bill too."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive." Taking her fingers in his, he asked, "What's the other appointment?"
"OBGYN," she said softly.
"For?" asked Richie, his interest piqued. "You just had a checkup."
"I know."
Richie looked at her closely. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Maybe, but it could be nothing."
"Have you done a home test?"
"It was negative but it was negative when I was pregnant with Stevie too. All I know is that I'm a week late and that's unusual for me. It could be the stress of having mono or it could be the stress of what is going on with Kevin. I want to make sure since you want to go ahead and have children."
"Tell me what the doctor says?"
Jesse laughed, "No! I'm going to keep it a secret."
"Can't keep it secret too long."
"At least three or four months."
"You wouldn't keep something like THAT a secret from me, would you?"
"For a little while, yes. Richie, I really want to surprise you so please, don't push it."
"Jess...." Richie stopped seeing the look in her eyes. Conceding, he said, "Okay! I'll let you surprise me."
"Thank you!" and she gave him a quick kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair and looked into his eyes. "Richie, what's wrong? I'd thought you'd be happy that I might be pregnant."
"I am. I'm just concerned. We aren't going to have fifty years...hell, we probably won't have forty years but with this problem with your heart, I might not even get a year with you. Yes, I want more children by you but..." Richie stopped, his own emotions getting the better of him and he rolled so that he was on his back. Tears were rolling down his cheeks but he made no attempt to stop them.
Jesse rolled to him and wiped the tears but she didn't say anything. She understood his feelings and hoped that things would work out. She nestled her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, and her leg draped over his, simply holding him.
Richie wrapped his arms around her holding her close After several minutes, he said, "I want to be happy, Jess."
"I know. Want me to turn out the lights?"
"I'll get them. I need to get undressed." The only move he made though was to pull her tighter. Several minutes later, he said softly, "I love you, Jessica."
"I love you too, Richard."
With a single finger, he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "Jess, I promise, if the cardiologist says you can safely have a baby and you ARE pregnant, I will shout it from the roof of the O2 just how excited I am. And you think I spoil you NOW....I promise, all that I've done so far will pale in comparison."
"What if I AM pregnant and he DOESN'T give a good report?"
"I'm not going to be happy about possibly losing you but I will spoil you."
"A win-win situation....you're going to spoil me no matter what."
Jesse was trying to ease the tension and Richie knew it but he couldn't get past the possibility of losing her this soon in their relationship. In frustration, he got up, pushing her off, as he growled, "What the hell do you win, Jessica, if you die? If you had just told me up front, we wouldn't BE in this situation."
Jesse sat up, tears of anger burning trails down her cheeks. "What would you have you done? Broken up? Slept with me once and moved on? I'll make it easy for you! I'll go back to Virginia and you won't hear from me again. If I am pregnant, I'll raise the baby alone just like I've done with Stevie. Just do me one favor...don't bother trying to come back to be a part of my life or the baby's. I swear, I'm DONE with musicians! IF I EVER fall in love again, it will be with a guy who has a normal life."
Richie felt like he'd been punched in the stomach as he watched his five foot stick of dynamite fiancée get up and head to the closet. Before she could get around him, he managed to ask, "What are you doing?"
"I'm getting dressed and going back to Virginia. I'll sell the truck when I get back and send you the money and I'll find a way to pay you back for all of the other stuff you've bought me too. I'll post on the website that the wedding is off."
"What about Ava?"
"She's YOUR daughter, figure it out!"
As she tried to go around him, Richie grabbed her by the waist and held her. "I never said I wanted you out of my life. If I had known the risks, I would have used protection and I would have gotten you to see a cardiologist sooner. I'm sorry for getting angry but damnit, I don't want to lose you."
Jesse sagged against him like a deflated balloon. Turning to face him, she put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. "Richie, I'm scared too but my love for you is far greater and very much worth the risk."
Richie reached up to cup her face in his large hand. Shaking his head, he said, "I don't know what I did to deserve your unconditional love."
"You love ME. You've been my superman....my dream come true."
"But I don't deserve the kind of love you're giving me - risking your life to give me a child."
"Tell me something. Suppose I do die and an angel came to you...gave you the option to take my place...what would you do?"
"I'd trade...." Richie stopped and smiled. "Okay, I see your point."
Jesse stood on her toes to kiss him. "I'm exhausted and I REALLY need to feel your arms around me. It's got to last me a week."
Richie laughed, "Let me get undressed then."
Jesse gave him one more quick kiss and headed to bed. Richie watched her then quickly stripped down, turned off the lights, and joined her in bed. He gathered her in his arms and pulled her tight.
Settled together, the couple lay in the still darkness, their love wrapping them in a safe cocoon.
"Richie?" she said softly.
"Yeah, Jess."
"Is it so wrong to want to give the man I love so completely a child?"
"No, it's not and that's NOT the issue. I am terrified of us only having less than a year together; of not knowing what could happen. What if something happens before the baby is born and I loose BOTH of you. I fell into the bottle after my dad's death..."
Softly, she said, "You aren't going to lose both of us. I'm yours forever, Richie."
With a finger, he lifted her chin once more to kiss her softly. He didn't pull away as he kissed her again, slowly, his lips coaxing hers for more as he rolled her onto her back. His hand wandered down to her hip massaging the flesh. A whimper escaped into the kiss.
Jesse ran her hands along his arms. She wanted him to make love to her, more than she wanted to take her next breath. She loved him so completely.
Richie deepened the kiss when she sighed. As his tongue swept in, his hand pulled her gown up revealing the soft flesh. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes. "You are so perfect....my sweet addiction. I need you."
"Make love to me, Richie."
Slowly, the couple made love. They touched and kissed; they whispered sweet nothings into each others' ears; and when they climaxed together, they held each other tight. Passion and and love flowed in every word, every look, and every touch. There was no mistaking the depth of their feelings for each other and they fell asleep tangled in those feelings.
