THE INDOMITABLE COOL

June 13, 2005 Monday

THE ONLY FACE WE TREAT AS MONEY

What’s up with our credit card companies? Aren’t they supposed to keep track of their clients wherever they are around the globe? As far as I know, the idea with a credit card is you keep on making credit based on a ceiling(credit limit) as you travel around the world. It’s the job of the credit company to track you down. It’s incurring credits conveniently until your bill catches up on you. In January of 1997, I travelled by West Jet between Calgary and British Columbia under a ticket purchased on a mastercard enrolled under Project Isabela. After sending Mastercard Canada several communications in the past, none of which merited their response, it’s been eight years and I haven’t heard anything from them. And with Hillary accounts, this triggers the question from “Heather” , “Have you been to Calgary?”. Manang Naty(Natividad Melecio) promised to pay the bill, alright.

THE TRUTH IS IN US

  On Magandang Gabi Sa Inyong Lahat and Talitha Cumi(X-Files) Season 3, all lies leads to the truth. I did not know I became the writer of these works as part of “all lies”. Now, officially the story is written by David Duchovny and Cris Carter. No matter how SOP(standard operating procedure) in the industry, literature and films, this “misattribution” of works is, still we have to be vigilant and always on the look-out to prevent and correct. After all, when the smoke is all over, what we have left in us is but “character” and “style”. I am not “Magandang Gabi”. I am not Talitha Cumi. Whatever happened along the way on the release of these works, they have never included me in the talks. Now, they are even selling me the one who is renting from Burrard. It’s sad for Vancouver but some were too glad the X-files has moved to San Francisco. Tell the Pascuals, thank you for “enrolling” me for the credits, but I haven’t seen it. How about an alternative, something like a part two for REDUX, where the orange creatures safely bridged to our side instead of getting burned in the process?

Monday June 6, 2005

AVANT GARDE

"Even in history we have a nixed-out. For rate, he is a "toilette". He is fake only on his "sastre"(tailor). For they are fourty at that time in Easy Nasty. Just like my Le Todd, since I am in Thule', he is fully reborn. Tell it to le Todd, for he had hit it to Rome." This is how I will sound if I'll "dog-write". With what I wrote on Conan the last time, someone has commented, "Ang itim naman ng singit mo."(Your inserted priority is too dark.) That's the translation I supposed because we will all be dead on the pun if it is otherwise.(Laughs) "Medyo panis pa."(And it is somekind of rotten.) I have added like I was talking detached from myself. Because they will be fresh if I have just blurted them out fifteen years earlier. But Arsenic was already informed, I guess. Yes, Virginia, whitening creams exists. Where were you when they turned Naomi Campbell blond?

Monday May 30, 2005

FACE-OFF

     Being the other voice behind Conan O' Brien, at one time I said,"Do you want to switch face with me Conan? I got Manila's favored. And did I tell you Manila's favored is "Arsenic"(Arsenio H.)?(Laughs) Those who have to see me yet, like people I talk to with over the telephone, always mistook my voice as coming from a 'white guy". And they are disillusioned the moment they find out the only "white' on me is my systolic.(Laugh again) Come on. Pretend you don't know it. Your systolic is the higher figure everytime a medical practitioner takes your blood pressure. Now, get it.

I always shun flight centers. You see, the flight center I have been into the last time was an ordeal. And speaking of ordeals, here is one that happened just last year.Where it happened, I  was in the middle of a burger and pizza store, literally.

The ordeal rose from a civil complaint by PO3 Agapito Rondon on a tresspassing case filed against me on June 11, 2004 at the office of the City Prosecutor Maria Gracia Casaclang in Quezon City. He filed the case not knowing I am a second lieutenant of the Reserve Army Command after finishing my bachelor's degree in 1992 from a "chartered state university". How could he charge me of violating Article 281 and 151, Trespassing, Resistance and Disobedience, of the Revised Penal Code at the middle of a public road? The case was dismissed later on under Assistant City Prosecutor Nancy Rivas Palmones after the complainant, Officer Rondon, filed his motion to dismiss before it reach the court. Since all I want to happen afterwards is to "get it done with" and I was too "tired and weary" of the whole incident, I lost interest in filing my counter-complaint(counter-claim). After all, I have "befriended" the officer in the process but do not tell the fiscal for we might be charged of conspiracy.(Laughs)

But looking back, I said the complaint filed should have been "squatting" and not "trespassing". Unless I insinuate at my peril, knowing a similar classic case in the US, aggravated by prolonged "detention", ended with the plaintiff languishing in jail all his life. All of that for "squatting". And isn't it spooky that the US judge who handled the similar classic case and later on became a US Chief Justice of the Supreme Court bear semblance with the name of my counsel, Atty. Winston Clarence Gayapa. Now, this ordeal resulted in a book, The Night I Robed Chile, but the book will not be off the press until all of my "earlier works" will be out.

So, with all of these in tow, I am asking Conan. Do you still want to switch face with me? And somebody on the crowd blurted, "And what if Conan will heckle you out and say "Hey! Adeva is coming!"" And I said, "Now, look who wants to have a Primate Return."(Laughs)

FACE-OFF

     Being the other voice behind Conan O' Brien, at one time I said,"Do you want to switch face with me Conan? I got Manila's favored. And did I tell you Manila's favored is "Arsenic"(Arsenio H.)?(Laughs) Those who have to see me yet, like people I talk to with over the telephone, always mistook my voice as coming from a 'white guy". And they are disillusioned the moment they find out the only "white' on me is my systolic.(Laugh again) Come on. Pretend you don't know it. Your systolic is the higher figure everytime a medical practitioner takes your blood pressure. Now, get it.

I always shun flight centers. You see, the flight center I have been into the last time was an ordeal. And speaking of ordeals, here is one that happened just last year.Where it happened, I  was in the middle of a burger and pizza store, literally.

The ordeal rose from a civil complaint by PO3 Agapito Rondon on a tresspassing case filed against me on June 11, 2004 at the office of the City Prosecutor Maria Gracia Casaclang in Quezon City. He filed the case not knowing I am a second lieutenant of the Reserve Army Command after finishing my bachelor's degree in 1992 from a "chartered state university". How could he charge me of violating Article 281 and 151, Trespassing, Resistance and Disobedience, of the Revised Penal Code at the middle of a public road? The case was dismissed later on under Assistant City Prosecutor Nancy Rivas Palmones after the complainant, Officer Rondon, filed his motion to dismiss before it reach the court. Since all I want to happen afterwards is to "get it done with" and I was too "tired and weary" of the whole incident, I lost interest in filing my counter-complaint(counter-claim). After all, I have "befriended" the officer in the process but do not tell the fiscal for we might be charged of conspiracy.(Laughs)

But looking back, I said the complaint filed should have been "squatting" and not "trespassing". Unless I insinuate at my peril, knowing a similar classic case in the US, aggravated by prolonged "detention", ended with the plaintiff languishing in jail all his life. All of that for "squatting". And isn't it spooky that the US judge who handled the similar classic case and later on became a US Chief Justice of the Supreme Court bear semblance with the name of my counsel, Atty. Winston Clarence Gayapa. Now, this ordeal resulted in a book, The Night I Robed Chile, but the book will not be off the press until all of my "earlier works" will be out.

So, with all of these in tow, I am asking Conan. Do you still want to switch face with me? And somebody on the crowd blurted, "And what if Conan will heckle you out and say "Hey! Adeva is coming!"" And I said, "Now, look who wants to have a Primate Return."(Laughs)

Monday May 23, 2005

THE WATER BOY JUST BEFORE SUNSET

Before he was a COOL, he was "asul". This is not a line from an eulogy but it is the first line from the prologue of DOLFIE, The Autobiography. Going back to memory lane, it is indeed funny to recall life at what is 21 JUMP STREET for me, from that famous tv sitcom in the early 80's, for the exact address was 21 ZAMORA STREET. Asul was our word for fetching water using buckets. At that time, running water is not available in the house. So, every twilight, I need to carry a bucketful from about a kilometer away just exactly to fill a clay jar. That is, the water I fetch is intended for drinking since we have our own shallow water pump whose hard water produce is used for washing and cleaning. Later on, thank God, all the necessary pipings are lain before I reach my sophomore years.

TETE-A-TITA

Once my Aunt Shirley made a visit before I attended my first juniors and seniors promenade and what I can recall as her words can still make me smile after all these years. Referring to me, she said, "Akaen kasee tai'y ita? Unta war man ak la ed ATSAY."("How come a skunk(last)?But anyway, I am already in the movie ATSAY(Philippine actress Nora Aunor's movie).")  My Tita Shirley is the most talented in the family, save for my sister ANGEL, whose The House of the Spirits made it to high-end mainstream before any of my works can. I am very fond of her.After all, she's giving me 'hints" about my Uncle and namesake, George Palaganas, who left her, as his wife, exactly $5,000.00 on his will. Isn't it amazing that the same amount was used to purchase the whole of Alaska at some point of time?

HINAHANAP-HANAP KITA(I WAS SEARCHING FOR YOU)

Almost everyone has the ability to see the obvious but spotting subtle differences between things, you will need a cunning forsythe. Here are some of the 'incredible" differences I have observed on several places with-in the METRO over the years. "Incredible" since moving these edifices ordinarily can't be accomplished overnight. They are not makeshift shelters but landmarks, mind you.

San Miguel Corporation Building; with its conspicous design and "greenhouse" appearance.

Back in the 80's, it is situated near the BIR Building in Quezon City close to the Quezon Memorial Circle. Today, it is found in Ortigas near SM Megamall.

A Manila Power Plant;with its prominent smoke towers belching out smoke from time to time.

Some years back, it is visible from the Quirino Grandstand if you are on the carabao statue facing the Rizal Monument. Today, it is similarly visible from the Manila Bulletin Today Building in Fort Santiago if you will face the Manila City Hall. And would you believe, the "water-flask-type" building at the Luneta area, the one with a circular summit, appeared at one time as the Dome of the Capitol Building of Washington,D.C. To my horror and disbelief, this appeared at about an instant(split-seconds) and later on stabilized as to what it is now, reminiscent of Highway 54 experience, eh? You know, that "mythical" strip of highway that extends from Welcome in España to Tomas Morato in Kamuning towards Kamias in EDSA without passing E. Rodriguez or Quezon Avenue and Roces. But we can build skyways to follow the girth of the "mythical" route, can't we?

 

EMERGING ECONOMIES

It is only now that I am learning the reason behind the "nuclear adoption" at the time of chaos in 1996. Why "nuclear adoption" or the simultaneous adoption by different individuals of a single person? I guess, PROTECTIONISM is what they have in mind when they entered me into the programme. The adopting country was PORTUGAL and chaos bring us at the time when the Philippines is not yet a "legitimate" country. Hence, Dismissed Agenda is furtherly clarified. And  I have to see yet the paperworks they did. Same as I have still to get hold of that million.(Laughs)

 

Chaos is not yet over. In fact, it is still preventing me from doing that necessary bank reloan to finance my cash-strapped start-up firm BEMBESAN EVIS. Somewhere in 1996, AI instructed me to meet Jean Chretien at Holiday INN Vancouver for an "allowance" thing. I did not make it to that rendezvous since as far as logic is concerned, he must be in Ottawa, right? Only to find-out on the papers the next day, he is indeed in Burnaby visiting a manufacturing plant. What he could have given me may be some "cash" but I know it wouldn't be enough for me to end on a "long-table". After I have sent AI my INTERAC bank account number with Royal Bank of Canada, isn't he the one who sent the message, "Then, start with a 'pinky'( a thousand canadienne).", after I have asked for an allowance on that account? But my Tita Mel granted me only $300 where the account ended after I left B.C. And officially, I am still a CAREGIVER(sigh). End of story.

Regarding allowances from Clinton, ARVIDAS is one of the most "agile dancer" on that line until his "extreme silence" lately. It's as if it was only yesterday when he changed my allowance from Fifth Ave. to Annapolis care of my "mommy" Leody(ALOR) of Dagohoy in Barangay Lourdes. And Hillary's double-pay hiring of me at PSPI(after including me in the SUN) at the care of TSU for more than a month. Regarding Hillary, the best ones are Natividad Melecio and Manang Siana in the West Coast. You see, with Manang Naty as my mom, we reach as early as the 1920's with her sending me my monthly allowance of $5. And regarding my sister Chelsea, the adepth ones are known only with their codes "hemp", "syrup" and "fret". And I still have to receive a letter from them. Until they killed Hillary in "the plot" and I am left on my own devices. That's the moment you see me in Annapolis. On the signs of Lee, the most silent among the three regarding that adoption, he is like forever working on the background, there is nothing I can "declassify" since it's the "godfather-Carleone" side of it. And it's always my saving grace everytime I am learning how to duck, so to speak.

THE WATER BOY JUST BEFORE SUNSET

Before he was a COOL, he was "asul". This is not a line from an eulogy but it is the first line from the prologue of DOLFIE, The Autobiography. Going back to memory lane, it is indeed funny to recall life at what is 21 JUMP STREET for me, from that famous tv sitcom in the early 80's, for the exact address was 21 ZAMORA STREET. Asul was our word for fetching water using buckets. At that time, running water is not available in the house. So, every twilight, I need to carry a bucketful from about a kilometer away just exactly to fill a clay jar. That is, the water I fetch is intended for drinking since we have our own shallow water pump whose hard water produce is used for washing and cleaning. Later on, thank God, all the necessary pipings are lain before I reach my sophomore years.

TETE-A-TITA

Once my Aunt Shirley made a visit before I attended my first juniors and seniors promenade and what I can recall as her words can still make me smile after all these years. Referring to me, she said, "Akaen kasee tai'y ita? Unta war man ak la ed ATSAY."("How come a skunk(last)?But anyway, I am already in the movie ATSAY(Philippine actress Nora Aunor's movie).")  My Tita Shirley is the most talented in the family, save for my sister ANGEL, whose The House of the Spirits made it to high-end mainstream before any of my works can. I am very fond of her.After all, she's giving me 'hints" about my Uncle and namesake, George Palaganas, who left her, as his wife, exactly $5,000.00 on his will. Isn't it amazing that the same amount was used to purchase the whole of Alaska at some point of time?

HINAHANAP-HANAP KITA(I WAS SEARCHING FOR YOU)

Almost everyone has the ability to see the obvious but spotting subtle differences between things, you will need a cunning forsythe. Here are some of the 'incredible" differences I have observed on several places with-in the METRO over the years. "Incredible" since moving these edifices ordinarily can't be accomplished overnight. They are not makeshift shelters but landmarks, mind you.

San Miguel Corporation Building; with its conspicous design and "greenhouse" appearance.

Back in the 80's, it is situated near the BIR Building in Quezon City close to the Quezon Memorial Circle. Today, it is found in Ortigas near SM Megamall.

A Manila Power Plant;with its prominent smoke towers belching out smoke from time to time.

Some years back, it is visible from the Quirino Grandstand if you are on the carabao statue facing the Rizal Monument. Today, it is similarly visible from the Manila Bulletin Today Building in Fort Santiago if you will face the Manila City Hall. And would you believe, the "water-flask-type" building at the Luneta area, the one with a circular summit, appeared at one time as the Dome of the Capitol Building of Washington,D.C. To my horror and disbelief, this appeared at about an instant(split-seconds) and later on stabilized as to what it is now, reminiscent of Highway 54 experience, eh? You know, that "mythical" strip of highway that extends from Welcome in España to Tomas Morato in Kamuning towards Kamias in EDSA without passing E. Rodriguez or Quezon Avenue and Roces. But we can build skyways to follow the girth of the "mythical" route, can't we?

 

EMERGING ECONOMIES

It is only now that I am learning the reason behind the "nuclear adoption" at the time of chaos in 1996. Why "nuclear adoption" or the simultaneous adoption by different individuals of a single person? I guess, PROTECTIONISM is what they have in mind when they entered me into the programme. The adopting country was PORTUGAL and chaos bring us at the time when the Philippines is not yet a "legitimate" country. Hence, Dismissed Agenda is furtherly clarified. And  I have to see yet the paperworks they did. Same as I have still to get hold of that million.(Laughs)

 

Chaos is not yet over. In fact, it is still preventing me from doing that necessary bank reloan to finance my cash-strapped start-up firm BEMBESAN EVIS. Somewhere in 1996, AI instructed me to meet Jean Chretien at Holiday INN Vancouver for an "allowance" thing. I did not make it to that rendezvous since as far as logic is concerned, he must be in Ottawa, right? Only to find-out on the papers the next day, he is indeed in Burnaby visiting a manufacturing plant. What he could have given me may be some "cash" but I know it wouldn't be enough for me to end on a "long-table". After I have sent AI my INTERAC bank account number with Royal Bank of Canada, isn't he the one who sent the message, "Then, start with a 'pinky'( a thousand canadienne).", after I have asked for an allowance on that account? But my Tita Mel granted me only $300 where the account ended after I left B.C. And officially, I am still a CAREGIVER(sigh). End of story.

Regarding allowances from Clinton, ARVIDAS is one of the most "agile dancer" on that line until his "extreme silence" lately. It's as if it was only yesterday when he changed my allowance from Fifth Ave. to Annapolis care of my "mommy" Leody(ALOR) of Dagohoy in Barangay Lourdes. And Hillary's double-pay hiring of me at PSPI(after including me in the SUN) at the care of TSU for more than a month. Regarding Hillary, the best ones are Natividad Melecio and Manang Siana in the West Coast. You see, with Manang Naty as my mom, we reach as early as the 1920's with her sending me my monthly allowance of $5. And regarding my sister Chelsea, the adepth ones are known only with their codes "hemp", "syrup" and "fret". And I still have to receive a letter from them. Until they killed Hillary in "the plot" and I am left on my own devices. That's the moment you see me in Annapolis. On the signs of Lee, the most silent among the three regarding that adoption, he is like forever working on the background, there is nothing I can "declassify" since it's the "godfather-Carleone" side of it. And it's always my saving grace everytime I am learning how to duck, so to speak.

Jokes and Other Stories

ALL IN THE FAMILY

A man is standing next to a woman over one of the three caskets on a wake.

MAN: A family of yours?(gesturing on one of the caskets)

WOMAN: No. A family of hearse. Hu!hu!hu!



AN HONEST MAN

An epiteth on a New Jersey cemetery reads

“This man has never cheated in his entire life, most of the time at least.”



LEAVING LAS VEGAS

A husband and wife is pulling over a parking lot on one of the shops downtown just before they head for another long drive towards the next.

WIFE: How come I have not seen any memorial field along the way?

HUSBAND: I don’t know,honey. Why would you ask me? Now, here is the pawnbroker shop. Give me the ring you found on that sandwich.



SLEEPING BEAUTY

Society is full of fake nowadays it is obligatory to attend a family member’s funeral so as just to surely prick them with a needle you discreetly slipped through your hands.



WITCHBREW

On the night of their honeymoon, the husband asked his Filipina wife what does her father wants to say when he said “This will make you ASTIG.”, after serving him some witchbrew. The wife responded, “Do you want to know what’s an ASTIG honey? It’s like the sound of a sewer that hasn’t been flushed for years.”