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THE INTERNET HOME OF DAN ELLISON "THE EDUCATED REDNECK"
To the Internet home of Dan Ellison
"The Educated Redneck"
Updated: 02/08/03
Meet "Elvis" the newest addition to the travelling road show!
Never forget 9/11/01!
SPRINT CELLULAR SUCKS!!!!!!!!! SEE MY CONSUMER PAGE
Welcome, come on in and sit for a spell. Because of asshole piece of shit lawyers I am forced to start my site with the following:
This site does discuss adult subject matter from time to time. So, if you are under 18 years of age leave now. Go do something like play outside. Breath fresh air and throw away the Ritilan. So 18 and younger leave now!!!
Good, now for warning number two. This is my web page. If you have seen my act in person you already know that I am very opinionated. You Dan? Say it aint so! Well, it is. So, if you are offended by anything I may write on this page. Please, use your freewill and leave. Don't read and then bitch to someone, just leave. This is an adult site. There will be language and subject matter that some may find offensive. If you are part of the some, leave!!
Now for the disclaimer. This is a comedians web site. Anything written on this site may not be true. What I am saying is....if you read this and want to prosecute me. It is all a joke. Everything I have written is untrue. If you read this and are a fan....it is all true. If you read this and want me to testify against myself...I will plead the 5th.
So, how was that? Folks, I am merely trying to protect myself from the scum sucking lawyers. I will add a rant soon against these worthless pieces of shit. Lawyers may do some good. But, if you weigh the bad they do against the good. They are worthless pieces of shit! So, I am forced to put a disclaimer here.
While we are at it. If you read anything on this page and then try to do it and get hurt. You my friend are a moron. I do not recommend or suggest you read this and do anything like it! I was lucky, you may not be! So if you copy this shit and die....you are stupid....and I am glad you are out of the "Gene pool"
Wow, bitching is great! So for those of you that made it here....Welcome!
So, here we are together. Just you and me and another couple of million other web fanatics. As an Educated Redneck I found the web a great place to spout my views. It allows for the communication that used to occur at the Barber Shop to occur online. Now you can talk with anyone anytime! If you grew up in the country you know exactly what I am talking about.
I also type just the way I talk. There will be many grammatical and spelling errors. If you can't cope then look above and follow the ways of the ones that left before you. Oh, and don't let the net hit you where the good Lord split ya! If I keep this shit up there will be no one to read this!
So come on in! Get ready for large doses of common sense. Oh, and prepare to laugh your ass off!
THIS SITE IS SPONSORED BY......
I can't thank my sister enough! Because of my bitch ex wife and the Judge that screwed the living shit out of me I am financially destroyed. My ex left me while I was in North Dakota and took everything including her fake tits! This just seems wrong! I wanted joint custody of those big fake titties! Or at least visiting rights! You know, every other weekend they are mine!
My sister has been there for me and is the reason I am still doing comedy. She has provided me the financial ability to continue. Without her continuing support, my dream would be over. Words can not describe how thankful I am to have such a wonderful sister! Somehow, thanking her just doesn't seem to be enough!!
