Realm of the dead...and what should have stayed dead.

F-J

Dog Soldiers.

Reviewed by: Traker

Out of most of Kami's reviewers I'd have to take the werewolf movie department im a "big-fan" of the "wolf-man" and that being said I've got a small collection of werewolf flix and have saw most lycanthrop based movies. Plus reading alotta stories and I have to say if your in the same pool as me and feel 90% of the werewolf movies out there suck to high hell you be happy to know Dog Soldiers IS NOT one of the bad ones! In fact i'd dare say its one of the best to grace the 'silver screen' in a long time. With me loveing the movie so much I still feel it has some downfalls, for example it tends to drag at parts more than it should and 2ndly the movie was made over-seas. Why is this a bad thing? The main stars seem to be either Irish or Scottish(?) makeing it hard for an American viewer like myself to understand what their saying at times. However this isnt to big of a deal. Actually its kinda fun to listen to the main character talk and bitch about stuff so I'll say thats both a pro and a con when there talking about something important in the plot. You'll be frustrated as hell when they are curseing like sailors and fighting off the werewolves you'll get a grin on your face...and than it comes to the werewolves themselves being totally non-cgi Im quite impressed with how well they look compaired to most others! Yep thats right no men in monkey suits for this film they got the wolfs actually looking like wolfs for once! Another new twist on this film is instead of one werewolf its pack of em. Which is a fresh idea and shapeshift from most traditional werewolf movies giveing dog soldiers a mood almost like "ALIENS". With that said and done overall the movie is a fresh alt to other filmsof the gender and one of the best however it still has lacks in some aspects and Im still waiting for the block-buster of a werewolf film (which I think will never happen, as it seems vampires get all the attention).

Favorite scene: The hand to paw combat kitchen fight "Hope I give ya tha shits"

Worst scene(s): All the talk and plot before and between the action (yea I know not very detailed of me but I hate "plot drag" in movies)

Favorite Death: Call me creepy or phyco but I got an odd thrill when they found their still alive, but ripped to bits friend (that was to be assumed dead) being held/keep alive by one of the were's (playing with your food?). Which after being found, slowly riped his head off and tossed it at them. I just thought this was sadictic, and would have been a scene that scares small children. I know if I was younger that scene would have gave me nightmares for weeks but being older I just giggled like a school girl. I was the same way with pumpkin head, that movie scared the utter crap outta me when I was a kid but now If I re-watch it and I cant help but grin. =)

Friday the 13th.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

Ah the original. Is it truely horrifing? Nah. Ive seen worse, but still a good flick. If your not a Jason nut though you wont care. The action starts off like a lightning bolt. Someone dies in the first 10 min of the movie, the rest come tumbling after. The story starts with someone trying to reopen camp crystal lake. It had been abondoned for years because of two unsolved murders in the 50's. On the following Fri the 13th people start dissappearing. Funny thing is that no one seems to notice or even care. Typical of a bunch of teenagers on crack I suppose. In the end only one survives.

My Favorite scene: Kevin Bacon getting it through the throat with an arrow.

Worst scene: The stinkin looney running around saying "Your all doomed, DOOMED"

Favorite death: Kevin Bacon for sure. Not that I have anything against him. I just liked it.

Friday the 13th Prt 2.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

The birth of Jason. I think it should be a national holiday. I loved the beginning. Remember the bimbo who survived the first one? Not for long...MMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh but I am rambling off again. Where mother failed, son didnt. This one has the same basic story as the last one, group trying to reopen a camp. This time its not Crystal Lake, but is located a few miles away from it. I belive that Jason witnessed the death of his mother in the frist, so now he is getting his revenge or something like that. Counsolers are starting to dissappear left and right, and once again noone cares. Ah the joys of youth. Still not the best, but not the worst. Little chessy by todays standards. I still liked it.

Favorite scene: Well I have two for this one.

1.When one of the survivors is hiding from Jason, and a rat walks past. She gets so scared she wets herself.

2. When the looney old pervert who runs through the entire first movie yelling "Your doomed" gets it by barb wire.

Worst scene: The actor that played Jason just sucked in the early days. When you do see him. He is tripping over crap and walks like he just crapped on himself.

Favorite death: The old perv getting choked with barbwire. Reminded me of the good ol days of ECW. I actually chanted it a few times.

Friday the 13th Prt 3.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

This movie is memoriable for only one reason. He finally gets the hockey mask. Which is in the last 30 min of the movie, but still better than watching some guy with a sack over his head. The story branches off abit for this sequel. It still takes place on Crystal Lake, but instead of councelors, its just teenagers. I dont know if that is the right word, most of them seem to be in their early 30's. The "hero" of this flick is a girl who we learn in a flashback, meet up with Jason, but somehow survived. He must be ticked at her for this, so he kills everyone off. I think, most of these movies really have no motive, except the first "which was his mother" and maybe second at the beginning at least "revenge for his mother". Seems he just likes to kill. When it comes to drunk teenagers, I cant say I blame him. I actually was routing for him alot in this one.

Favorite scene: When the big bad bikers meet up with da man in the barn. A tear came to my eye when he stabbed the lady with a pitchfork. I hated her.

Worst scene: Stupid old man that was killed in the second one, coming back screaming "Your all doomed".

Favorite Death: When Jason took a pitchfork and stuck a biker lady to the ceiling. I still hate her. I thought "Not so tough now are ya.

Friday the 13th Prt 4 The Final Chapter.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

In my opinion the series gets better as they go along. Jason starts the movie with his goalie mask. I hated the other masks, made him look more like the elephant man cross bred with a redneck. I enjoyed the beginning of this one. The cops are searching the grounds of the last movie. They take Jasons body into the morgue. The coroner is thinking more with his wang and not his brain which ends up in his death. {Watching porn while Jason is in the room is a major NO NO.} Pan in to some college kids {aint it always college kids?} going to a house they rented. Typical story of sex, drugs, rock and roll, and DEATH. I believe teenage horomones just tick Jason off. Its always "lets have sex...DIES", "lets smoke pot.....DIES", "lets get drunk.......DIES". To mix things up a bit they involve another "good" family across the street and a "Jason hunter", who seeks revenge for the death of his sister. How did that go you ask? NOT TOO GOOD. His first encounter with da man ends in his quick and painful death. I have to give them credit for the ending. Its different from what you are use to in this series, but I wont blow it for ya.

Favorite scene: The twin girls. Need I say more?

Worst scene: The whole "Jason hunter" character. He never does anything really helpful except die.

Favorite Death: The best death was actually Jasons. I wont give much detail except this "Dont tick off a gamer. They look harmless, but know how to put you down permanent"

Friday the 13th part 5 "A New Beginning"..

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

You know in life most things that hit a final chapter are actual final chapters. I guess this doesnt apply to Jason. Hes had more final chapters than Elvis. Like I said before "to me" this series gets better as it goes along. We start off the story with a young Tommy Jarvis checking out Jasons grave. {Hes the boy that killed Jason in 4.} Along come two teenage boys who for some reason unknown to me, dig Jason back up. Jason now being ticked that his eternal rest was disturbed opens a can of whoop butt on the them. After dispatching the hellions, he approaches Tommy and right before he gets ready to strike BAAAAMM..... its all a dream. Tommy has now grown up and is a nut job at a half way house. After one screwball axes another too death, Jason shows up. He does what he does best...KILL. The movie is set up to make you believe that its actually Tommy doing the killing. For some reason hes never around when Jason is, plus he keeps having visions. I wont go into details but by the end we learn that it wasnt Jason, but the father of the wacko who was axed at the beginning. The movie ends with Tommy donning the mask. I sware if you listen close, you can hear an extra word in the "Kill kill kill". Sounds like it says "Kill kill tommy tommy kill kill."

Favorite scene: The whole section with "Demon" the big bad black dude, who gets diarrea and is killed in the outhouse. Childish I know, but not something you see in horror movies.

Worst scene: When the one nutjob kills the other with an axe. The victim is mentally handicapped, and just like children, I cant stand to see them hurt in any way.

Favorite Death: When the old hag is cooking dinner and cussing everything under the sun. All of a sudden a blade comes flying through the window and stabs her in the head. She then falls face first in the soup.

Friday the 13th part 6 "Jason Lives".

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I beat you cant guess who the hero of this one is? Come on guess? Yes your, right Tommy Jarvis. At first I thought I grabbed the wrong dvd. I thought Id picked up 5 again. This one is one of my personal favorites so far though. Plus it has actual kids. A few of the others took place in a camp, but it was always full of teenagers. On to the story. Once again we start off with Tommy and a buddy {His buddy is "Horeshack" from "Welcome Back Kotter"!! I sware!} digging up Jasons grave. {Doesnt this sound familiar? Oh yea its how the last one started too}. Tommy digs up Jason and in a fit of rage and stupidity runs him through with a metal fence post during a lightning storm. Do you get the picture? Dead corpse, metal rod, lightning, what do you get when you mix all these things together? Thats right a pissed off corpse walking around!!!! This time though, everyone blames Tommy for being the killer. They think he kills to make people think Jason is alive. I gotta take my hat off to Jason though. He has the oppurtunity to murder a bunch of helpless children, and doesnt. Hes not a baby killer like the horseman and all the crap in Ghost ship. One hour and a dozen bodies later, its learned that to kill Jason you must send him back to his first grave. So they take a chain and a rock, wrap it around his neck, and send him back to the bottom of Crystal Lake. End of story, for now.

Favorite scene: Jason walks into the kids bunk house. One girl sees him and hides under the covers while praying. Jason walks over to her, then a car door slams and he leaves. She looks back and cant see him, so she looks under the bed, then raises up with a wierd "I cant belive that worked?" look on her face.

Worst scene: One of the councelors death is lame. You never actually see her die, just hear a scream, then later they find blood all over the room.

Favorite Death: Oh yes the paintball death. You dont actually see him die, later they find some parts of him. The man is playing paintball and is sneaking up behind some other players. Jason steps out and with one swing takes off three of their heads. He starts towards the last man, who then shoots Jason with a paintball. Jason just gets this " What the {censored} are you doing?" look. Then chases him through the woods.

Friday the 13th part 7 "The New Blood".

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

One of the most memoriable aspects of this movie is that its the first to have "Kane Hodder" as Jason. What makes him so unique is that he is the only one to ever want to play the part twice {hes been in every movie since}. In my opinion its a part he was born to play. He just is Jason like Arnold is the Terminator. If you remember correctly at the end of the last film Jason was chained to a rock and sent to Davey Jones locker. Flash back 10 years ago. A man is drunk and smacks his wife in front of their child. The child runs out to the lake and jumps in a boat. Her father follows and begs her to return. In a fit of anger she uses some psycic powers to destroy the dock and drown her father. Back in the present the girl is now grown up and having problems dealing with the guilt. She, her mother, and shrink return to the place her father died. Sometime later she is standing on the dock and sense's a body in the water. She uses her powers to free it but its not her father...its the man himself. Typical story. Jason kills a bunch of people. I must take my hat off to Jason because he uses such a wide variety of killing utensils. From a tent stake to a weed eater. In the end the girl is trapped on the dock and right before Jason can grab her, her father jumps from the water and pulls Jason in.

Favorite scene: One of the guests is stoned and has a sever case of the munchies. He goes to the kitchen for some chow. As he walks past you see lighting flash and in the background there stands Jason watching him.

Worst scene: The slut seduces one of the guests, then dumps him. She was using him to try and make another guest jealous. I applauded when Jason popped an axe into her head.

Favorite Death: When Jason kills the black girl with a noise maker like you get at birthday parties.

Friday the 13th Part 8 "Jason Takes Manhattan".

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

You know how I said the series got better as it went along. Well this one made me a liar. It is by far the worst of the series. The only redeming quality is watching Jason kill some better than thou Yankees. The story makes no since {like any of them do?} but different from the others this one is boring. Once again Jason is revived by the power of electricity {His body is laying on a power cable and a drunk, teenager cuts it with an anchor}. Somehow he gets on a boat full of teenagers on their senior trip to New York. About 30 min and 9 bodies later the boat sinks and the few suvivors take a lifeboat into the shore. To which Jason still chases them through the Big Apple. Hes finally killed in the end by a plot hole so big you could take a 747 land it, turn it, and take back off in. Hes drowned in nuclear waste in the sewers. I know this movie took place in the late 80s/early 90's but come on. Even then it was illegal to dump toxic waste through the sewers? This one is so bad Id give it half a coffin but Im too lazy to make a half a coffin gif.

Favorite scene: Jason is chasing some suvivors through town and kicks some gangs radio. The leader takes out a knife and yells "Your dead meat". Jason turns around and removes the mask. The leader goes "Sorry bout that" and runs like a scalded dog.

Worst scene: All through the movie the "starlette" has visions of a young boy drowning. This goes against my {dont hurt children} rule.

Favorite Death: Mister tough guy boxer is trapped so he decides to go one on one with Jason. He smacks Jason around for at least 5 min to no avial. Finally he is too exhausted to fight. He stand up straight and tells Jason to take one good shot. One hit and BAM off his head goes into the trash can.

Friday the 13th Prt 9 "Jason goes to Hell, the final Friday".

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

The final Friday my butt. They made two more movies after this one. I mean its like Final Fantasy. How could it be the final fantasy when at this moment there are 10 of them and one in the making? Oh well thats enough of my ramblings. I have to say this is another of my personal favorites. It just adds something different to the mix. At the first of the movie we see a young woman driving into Crystal Lake. Sometime during the night Jason shows up. He chases the woman through the woods into a clearing. Right as he is about to strike the fatal blow, lights appear everywhere. Its a trap set up by the military. One hundred bullets and two grenades later Jason is doggy chow. They take whats left to the morgue. {Little known fact. One of the soldiers guarding the morgue is Kane Hodder himself. He is the one that pats down the coroner. I also think his partner is either the director or producer, but Im not 100% sure on it.} For some unknown reason the coroner eats Jason heart and becomes Jason. It is later found out that Jason is a demon that can possess any body for a set amount of time, but he must find a blood relative to be reborn or he will die. Also the only one that can kill him is a blood relative. Thats the whole story. Jason jumping from body to body trying to get to his only living relatives. This movie introduced one of my favorite lines. "Gonna smoke some weed, have a little premarital sex, and get slaughtered." If you pay close attention to the book the hero finds in the old Voorhees house. Its the necronomican from the Evil Dead series. I dont mean it looks like it, it IS it.

Favorite scene: The funniest scene was in the "altered for tv" section. The hero and a police officer are fighting. The cop {who is his friend} tells him that he will arrest him. The hero asks why he thinks he can. The cop replies "because I have a gun." To which the hero replies "So do I." and produces a gun he stole from the cop earlier. Then a big argument insues over if it is ethical to hold up someone with his own gun.

Worst scene: Watching the hero get his fingers broke by the bounty hunter. It wasnt so much as boring, just hurt like heck.

Favorite Death: Jason {in the body of the heroines boyfriend} goes into a resturant chasing the heros. While shoving one mans head into a deep frier, his wife runs up screaming at him to stop. Jason backhands her so hard it shoves her jawbone into her head....which shuts her up.

Jason X.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I have to say alot of my friends did not like this movie. I loved it. To me it had the right mix of action/comedy/and horror to keep it interesting. They took alot of liberites with the storyline. The movie starts "I think" in 203X. Jason is being held prisoner at the Crystal Lake containment center. To make a long story short "You cant hold a good man down" and he escapes, but is frozen. It is now 24XX and he and another person are found by an archelogist and his students. They are then dethawed, and resurrected. He does what he does best and butchers the crew and students onboard their spaceship as they try make there way back to Earth 2. I will end with two words "Ubber Jason".

Favorite scene: The computer generated version of Crystal Lake with aunthentic 1980's women.

Worst scene: Watching one student try and get an A from her teacher by sqeezing his nipples with a clamp....just the thought makes me sick.

Favorite Death: The marine leader is moving through a tight space. Out of nowhere a stake comes through the box and runs him through. He laughs and says "Take more than that to drop this old dog" Then another comes through right beside it. He goes "Yep that'll do it."

Freddy Versus Jason.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I have been looking forward to this for a long time. I can say I wasn't "totally" dissappointed. As far as it goes. It was an excellent movie. I had two major gripes with it. 1. They didnt use Kane Hodder. The excuse was given that he was too big compaired to Robert Engund {sp?}. They used a smaller man to keep it more even. 2. They took too many liberties with Jason's story line. In this version he is afraid of water. Which is total nonsense. If you have watched any of his movies. You know that he killed tons of people in Crystal Lake. Most were naked and female, but thats another story. The story begins with a ticked off Freddy. He is mad because the people of Elm Street have forgotten him. He wondered through hell till he found someone to do his work for him....Jason. He goes into Jasons mind acting as his mother and tells him to go to Elm Street. Jason climbs out of his grave and goes to Elm Street. After Jason kills off a few kids, they start to blame Freddy. You see, Freddy gets his power from fear. If you dont remember him then you cant fear him. Jason brought his memory back, which gave him power. Then comes the problem. Freddy cant kill because Jason is too good. HE kills them before Freddy can. Freddy makes another plan. He posses some pot head and fills Jason full of sleeping medicine. He then goes into his dream and tries to kill him. By now the survivors have relized what is going on. They would rather face Jason in life than Freddy in dream. So they drive a sleeping Jason back to Crystal Lake to give him an advantage over Freddy. Just outside of town they wreck, which wakes Jason up. One of the survivors falls asleep, hunts down Freddy, grabs him, and then wakes up. This brings Freddy from the world of nightmares to the real world. It also makes him fair game for a very pissed off Jason. After 30 min of Freddy winning, then Jason winning. They fight onto a dock. Jason rips Freddys gloved arm off {Im not talking the glove, I mean the whole dang arm}, while Freddy stabs Jason through the heart with his own machette. All the while this is going on the last two survivors spray gas onto the dock and then onto some tanks. They then set it all on fire, which explodes and blows all 4 into the lake. The survivors climb back onto the dock {which was ingulfed in flames 2 sec before, but is now like new?} After a few moments you hear footsteps approaching. Then you see the machette, but guess what? Its Freddy. As he raises the knife, Jason lunges from the water and runs Freddy through with his own arm. After which Jason falls back into the water, and Freddy falls to his knees. One of the survivors takes Jasons machette and cuts his head off. The end? Nope. In the next scene it shows Jason walking out of the lake carrying Freddies head. Which looks at the screen, winks, and laughs. The end. So who won? In my opinion neither. I was kind of upset. It seemed the movie was wrote more for Freddy than Jason. Now I know they had to do it that way. Freddy had more screen time because he has always been more "in your face". While Jason just removed your face.

Favorite scene: Jason hacks one guy to peices, sometime later he kills another boy and his father. In the next scene it shows someone ask the police chief what happened. The captain replies "It was a murder suicide". I though "How many people commit suicide by hacking themselves to bits with a machette?" Sounds like our local police.

Worst scene: Freddy is one sick puppy. At the beginning it shows Freddy sharpening his claws and a little girl of about 8 watching. He looks at her and laughs, then the screen goes outside and you hear the girl scream. Sometime later an image of the little girl shows up with no eyeballs.

Favorite Death: Jason swings his machette and smashes some electric monitors. Which start to electrocute him. He just reaches over and grabs a cop and fries him too.

Ghost Ship.

Reviewed by: Hiro Madsine

Well starts off on a good foot a bunch of salvagers doing their jobs and being so determined they even risk their lives in the first 3mins of their part of the film welding a hole in a salvaged oil tower. all the sudden this kid from the ocean patrol comes up to them in the bar after a long hard job and demands a job be done in the next few days due to the spotted ship is going to go down .. a ghost ship .. They reluctantly take the job and off they are on a stress filled trip to international waters while playing some hella great music the pilot of the boat spots something on radar but looks again and it’s gone.. he called the captain and .. they get worried … all the sudden not on radar they spot the monstrosity directly in front of them .. While they speed toward it. And oh boy does it get hairy from there … They board the Antonia Grasa a Italian luxury liner that disappeared in the 50’s Going though they notice a few odd things like a digital watch that still on time and a bunch of mutinous signs. They are about to get busy when they find a shit load of gold and they put the boat and it’s future against getting the gold and all their rich greed up on the compromising block. They decide to abandon the Antonia bout this time the ghost girl appears to the lady heroine and an anonymous ghost takes her out. Bout the time the tug they come on is about to fire the engines back up and get ready to load the crew back aboard. The tug explodes and sinks one of the crew dies and the other one in the cab has a head wound and they all are stranded aboard the Antonia with a ship load of ghosts and a mystery bad guy. The entire movie is a nice visual effects extravaganza but you can’t see half the shit they show you in special features on the DVD. So I say they did a great job but afterwards wanted to add spooky features nobody could notice. I think the best scene is where the girl takes the heroine into the past to see what happens.. and I wasn’t pleased with the restoration scene with the crewman with the head wound I saw it as a lazy ghost killing a human scene. The best death in this would have to have been in the flashback the girl gives the heroine. She showed how greed killed most of the crew and the last woman standing was the cocktail singer a beauty for the lounge act helped the evil guy get his gold back but met with a lifting hook in the hold and she is just surprised and not knowing she’s been taken for soul and life and all the above. Haa ha ha haaa!!

Second opinion by: Kamikaze

I got to finally watch this over vacation and I must say I loved it. Probably because the ghost girl and I share the same last name. There are two different types of horror. There is the Jason Voorhees/Freddy Kruegar slasher film, then there is this. Most of the time I dont care for these, but I enjoyed it tremendously. The ship was as spooky as my 5th grade homeroom teacher {{shivers}}. The story kept me interested. The deaths were gruesome... kinda like my 5th grade homeroom teacher.{{shivers again}}

Favorite scene: My favorite scene wasnt really in the movie, but dealt with it. As the ship is sinking one of my best buds starts singing "My heart will go on" from Titantic. I didnt see any of the credits because I was in the floor laughing so hard.

Worst scene: The death of the little girl. Like I have stated before. I am a sick twisted individual, but I dont like to see children harmed in any way.

Favorite death: When the one guy keeps talking about how much he loves his girlfriend. Then gets seduced by a ghost and shoved down an elevator shaft. Laughed my head off.

Halloween.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I can't help it. I am a fan of the old 80's masked slasher flicks. Jason was always my favorite, but Mike Myers is a close second. I recently aquired all eight Halloweens and will be reviewing them as I watch them. I had heard bad things on this one, but I really enjoyed it. Thats odd for me because only a few people die. It still is an excellent movie. The movie starts off with a 6 year old Micheal Myers killing his older sister. He walks out just in time for his parents to pull up. What's makes this wierd is that they just stare at him. Hes standing there holding a bloody butcher knife and they stare at him? His parents SUCKED. Fast forward 15 years later when an older Mike escapes from a mental home. The only clue left is the word "sister" carved into the wall. I wont get into alot of detail about what transpires since it would just confuse you. I will say this, if you pay attention to the movie Lindsey is watching. Its "The Thing" a movie redid by John Carpenter {who wrote this film}. I did notice alot of loop holes and mistakes. In one scene Doctor Loomis is waiting outside Mikes home trying to catch him. He waits for hours, and then turns around to notice his car {the one previously stolen by Mikey} is parked across the street. You'd thing he notice that when he got there, not 6 hours later. Another big goof is after Laurie stabs Mike with some sewing needles. He drops his knife in the living room floor. Sometime later Laurie is hiding in a closet and Mike busts in. He drops his knife and she stabs him with it. At the end it shows different places in the home and you can hear Mike breathing. If you look you can still see the knife laying on the living room floor. How did it get upstairs, then back downstairs? Another goof that happens. One girl goes to her car, which is locked. She goes back in for her keys, comes back out and hops in the now unlocked car, and never notices the change?

Favorite scene: Three of the local boys are picking on another. They keep telling him that the boogey man is coming for him. After pushing him down, they all run off. One rounds a corner to run into Mike. The look he gets on his face is hysterical.

Worst scene: When the cop and Dr Loomis find the skunk Mickey had eaten. It doesnt show anything, just the though of eating a skunk is sick.

Favorite Death: Mike is hiding in a sheet acting like a ghost. One girl thinks its her boyfriend and gets mad because he wont talk to her. She calls Laurie up and about the time she answers Mickey wraps the phone cord around her neck. While she is moaning and screaming Laurie thinks its her friend having sex and calling her to rub it in.

Halloween 2.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

This is one "true" sequel. I know all movies have sequels, but this one starts right where the first movie ended. I really enjoyed this one two. Unlike Fri the 13th these movies started off awesome and went downhill as they went along. Most of the movie takes place in a hospital where they took Laurie after she fought off Mike. I wont go into alot of details about the movie, because they are all pretty much the same. Mike hunts Laurie and kills a few people along the way. At the end we learn why Mike hunts Laurie. It turns out she is his younger sister. It goes into alot of theological reasons on why he kills, but it didnt make any sense to me? Something about the spirit of Samhein? I believe Samhein is the spirit of death celebrated on Halloween? I found a few mistakes in this one too. {Thank Mystery Science Theater 3000 for my ability to point out all mistakes} In one scene Mike shoves a womans head into boiling water and kills her. When he pulls her up her skin is all blistered and coming off, but his hand is fine? Another funny mistake. One of Laurie's friends is taking care of her. Laurie goes into shock after an allergic reaction to some medicine. He gets a nurse, then runs off to find a doctor. The nurse leaves to check on another patient and Laurie dissappears. Fast forward some time later and Laurie's friend runs into the same nurse. He tells her the first proirity is to find Laurie. Whats funny is that he hadnt been back to the room. There was no way he could have known Laurie was missing. This also has one of my top 10 favorite lines spoken in a movie. A man asks Dr Loomis if this is a Halloween prank. He tells Loomis that he's sick to death of all these pranks. Dr Loomis answers "You haven't meet death."

Favorite scene: Laurie friend is searching for her. He notices one of the nurses laying on a bed. He goes in to discover she is dead. Someone had knocked her out and put an IV into her arm. She had eventually bled to death. He looks down and the floor is covered in blood. He turns to run out and slips in the blood and knocks himself out cold.

Worst scene: Little boy being rushed to the hospital with a razor blade shoved into the roof of his mouth. He was eating candy that someone had packed with razor blades.

Favorite Death: Mike chokes a man to death with a piece of wire while he's girlfriend is in the next room getting dressed. She never notices all this going on right behind her.

Halloween 3 Season of the Witch.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

If you looked up the word "crap fest" in a dictionary you would find a preview of this movie. My first fault with the movie is that Mike Myers is not in it. HOW CAN IT BE A HALLOWEEN WITHOUT MIKE? My second fault is that it doesn't make any sense. Ive watched pornos with a better plot line. I didnt understand anything. The plot went something like this {if I am wrong then explain to me what happened} Some toy maker had swiped part of stone hendge. He was taking little pieces off it and putting them into his halloween masks. Did I mention he had an army of androids? How a toy maker gets an army of androids I dont know. He seems ticked at the world so he is gonna kill off all the kids at Halloween. What he does is send a signal through his commercial {which is the only redeming part of the movie} which activiates the stone and kills the child by making snakes and grasshoppers come out of their mouths. Which is the only sick part of the movie. Somehow some old man comes upon it and is killed. His daughter and the doc from the hospital start snooping for clues. They figure it out. Burn down the factory, and are trying to go get help. When the daughter attacks the doc. Turns out she was a robot all along too. Like I said it made NO SENSE. Another odd thing I didnt see the first gun is this movie. Didn't people in the 80's pack heat? I mean if your going snooping to find a murderer wouldnt you buy a dang gun! On a funny note the main bad guy was the head of OCP in Robocop. He can say hew ent up in the world. The hero was also the hero in "The Fog". Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Favorite scene: I suppose it would be the commercial song. That will haunt me till the day I die.

Worst scene: Watching the snakes and crickets come out of the dead boys mouth.

Favorite Death: Same as above. That was about the only death in the movie. I can add the number of deaths on one hand. One old man, dad, wife, son, and corporate lady.

{Editors Note: I would give it a negative number, if I wasnt so lazy as to draw a negative symbol}

Halloween 4 Return of Michael Myers.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I loved this movie, but I hated the guy that played Mike. I mean Mikes not a hard person to imitate, but this guy reminded me more of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Plus the mask was awful. I once told someone that the mask reminded me of a stripped down Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith Show. Another thing, in part 2 both Dr. Loomas and Mike were blowed up. Mike walked out only to die a few seconds later. I'm talking a BIG explosion. Now I can understand Mike living through that. Jason has lived through worse, but Dr. Loomas was an old man. Oh well back to the movie. It starts off with an ambulance transporting Mike to another location {which it never explains why he was moved?}. One of the nurses asks the doctor if Mike had any family. The doc informs her he had one niece. Family to Mike must mean "hunting season". He kills both the doctor and nurse, then escapes. Dr Loomas learning that Mike was moved, goes to complain to the hospital head. While he is there they learn of the ambulance wreck. Once again he starts off his hunt for Mike. I can say 5 words to make anyone watch the movie. Drunk_Pissed_Rednecks_with_Guns. After all the trouble he caused in the past, the town is ready and waiting for him. Which is useless because they all die anyway. One scene in particular made me mad. The sheriff and Dr. Loomas return to find the police station in ruin, and all the cops dead. I wanted to see that. I hate Hitchcock deaths. Another thing that bothered me. The little girl and her foster sister are resting in the sheriffs house. The little girl falls asleep, and the sister leaves her there to go talk to her boyfriend whom she caught cheating just hours before. Now I don't know about you, but if some psycho was after my nephew. I wouldn't leave him to go talk to anyone. I would be guarding him, surrounded by four shotguns, three swords, two axes, and a chainsaw. On a funny note. The sheriffs daughter and a boy are making out at the sheriffs house. The sheriff and Dr. Loomas return home. Right before they enter, the girl and boy throw their clothes back on and pretend to be reading. The sheriff sends his daughter to go make coffee and hands the boy a gun. He tells him to go and nail the attic windows shut. As he is walking away the sheriff says "Oh yea, If I catch you groping my daughter again, Ill use that gun on you." Another interesting fact. The little girl Mike is hunting is named Jamie. Her mother, the hero in the original, was played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Coincidence, I think not. It has a surprise ending that your just going to love too.

Favorite scene: The ending. I wont say what happens, but it is sweet.

Worst scene: All the kids are picking on Jamie because she doesn't have a Halloween costume. They keep telling her that her uncle is the boogie man. She starts crying and runs away. I dont see the down side to having the boogie man as an uncle. I would threaten people that my uncle would slaughter their entire family if they didnt back off.

Favorite Death: Sheriffs daughter goes to check on the deputy watching the front door. She sees someone sitting in a chair. She stops to light a candle and notices the dead deputy laying against the wall. She turns to see Mike impale her with a shotgun. I really wanted to see him shoot her. He would be number one in my book then.

Halloween 5 Revenge of Michael Myers.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

The sequel starts at the end of 4, and that’s what I like about this series. They all are in tune with the other films {except three, which sucked major wind}. Mike escapes the mine explosion and is washed down a river. He ends up at an old hermits shack, which takes him in and treats his wounds. Apparently little Jamie has been locked in a mental hospital for children after she murdered her foster mother. It seems she is now connected with her uncle and can tell when he is about to kill. We are also introduced to the man in black. Who he is, is never told. All that is shown is that he bears the same mark on his wrist as Mike. In the commentary they admit they didn’t know who he was. Just kind of stuck him in. Most of the movie is spent with Mike hunting down all of Jamie’s friends and killing them off, trying to get to her. Another of my favorite movie lines is in this one. Dr. Loomas turns to a colleague and shows him his burnt hand from where he tried to blow Mike up at the end of two. He tells him “I prayed he would go to hell, but deep down I know hell wouldn’t have him.” In one of the funnier scenes, Mike has killed a boy and stole his car. He goes to the boy’s girlfriend’s house and starts beeping the horn like “Hurry Up.” Don’t know maybe it’s just me but it struck me as funny. Not even the great Michael Myers can make a woman hurry. In the end Dr. Loomas traps Mike by bringing Jamie to the old Myers home as bait. When Mike goes to attack her, Loomas drops a net on him. He then shots him 4 or 5 times with a tranquilizer gun. After he runs out of darts he beats him down with a 2X4. Mike was then taken into custody, but the man in black attacked the police station and at the end Jamie walks into the jail to find Mike gone, and all the cops dead.

Favorite scene: Mike stealing a car and picking up a girl. He pulls up and starts beeping the horn. I dont know to me it was funny.

Worst scene: The man in black character. He has no purpose in the movie. Just kinda walks around and busts Mike out in the end.

Favorite Death:One guy is really picky about his camaro, and a real jerk to everybody else. Mike walks up behind him and takes a rake down the truck of the car. The boy gets mad and jumps out cussing and brandishing a crowbar. Mike just grabs him around the neck and shoves the rake through his head. Oh how many times I wanted to do that to punk kids who tick me off on my way to work. If I ever snap I might just try it.

Halloween 6: Curse of Michael Myers.

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I remember watching this movie in college. Two of my buddies and I went and watched it. Actually it was the same two that I watched Freddy vrs Jason with. Freaky? Now back to the movie. I loved it back then, now its just so/so. Its good but no where the quality of the first ones. To make a long story short. Little Jamie grew up and had a baby. Some cultist tried to take and sacrifice it to Mike, but the mother and baby escape. Mike starts his hunt for both the baby and mother. The momma dies pretty fast, and the baby ends up with guess who? Little Tommy from the original. Hes gone kinda wacky and has this blood lust for Mike. Turns out the symbol on Mikes hand is called "Thorn" and it is a demon. In the past people would do a lottery and the losing family would mark on of there own as "Thorn" and he would kill them all. Reasoning was it is better to lose one family than the whole village. That is why Mike hunted only his family and killed everyone that got in his way. Also a new family has moved into the "Old Myers place" and Mikeys not to happy about it.

Favorite scene: Tommy shots Mike up with drugs then beats him to death with a metal pipe. Whats neat is in most movies once the "thing" goes down they leave it, not Tommy he beats Mike over the head for about 10 more minutes after he goes down.

Worst scene: The "heros" run past a wall covered with weapons. Grab one traquilzer dart and shoot Mike, then run right past the wall and leave everything. Id be going Rambo on him with all that.

Favorite Death: Mike runs the dad through with a pole, then shoves the pole through the circuit box and electrocutes him until his head explodes.

Halloween 7: H20 .

Reviewed by: Kamikaze

I tell ya something that really made me mad at this whole series. This one has nothing to do with the last 4. When they asked the producer, he said that 3,4,5, and 6 never happend. How do you do that? Its like me saying my years from 20 to 26 never happened. They could have worked around it somehow but just choose to be lazy. Eh to each his own I guess. Well we start with Laurie Strode teaching school at a private school. Seems she faked her death to aviod Mike. She aslo has a teenage son now. Which is kinda weird being that she dumped her daughter to protect her son, but according to the producers the daughter never existed....Now I am confused? Turns out that Mikes is not dead and he hunts Laurie down. In the end its up to her to defeat him, since she ran from him so many years ago.

Favorite scene: When Laurie decides its up to her to stop Mike. She takes two knives and fights him "ninja style" until he falls off a balcony onto some tables....ECW, ECW, ECW, sorry got carried away for a minute there.

Worst scene: One girl is running from Mike. She climbs into a little elevator and rides to an upper floor. As she is trying to get out Mike cuts the rope and the elevator falls on her leg, smashing it. She finally gets it loose and its pointing the wrong way with bones sticking out.

Favorite Death: Laurie steals Mikes body, drives around tell he wakes up. Then wrecks him and the van over the hillside. Both are thrown from the wreck, but Mike gets pinned between the van and a tree. Laurie then takes an axe and decapitates him.