W/O Cause

SOA
(Special Operations Augmentation)
CIA controlled. Kill ratio of 275 to 1
Highest in recorded history.

I did so as the sole surviving son of a deceased WWII Veteran.
I went... I served... I came home from a land of hell.
And what did I came home to?

a country that I thought I knew well
but, had to live behind four walls
with the memories of those who gave their all.
To a country that left many behind.
To a country that is still blind.

I still find my country turning it's back.
Don't get me wrong... Ain't no way I'm feeling sorry for myself.
I did what I did for my Country. This is just the way that I see it.
IRONMIKE

LOOK ME IN THE EYES... FEEL THE DEATH AND SORROW... I HAVE KILLED FOR MY COUNTRY...
BEEN SPIT UPON AS A REWARD... WELCOME HOME?... I DON'T THINK SO!

You can tell if a man has KILLED by looking in HIS eyes

Memories are the basic cause of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A theory that the reason there is such a high incidence of PTSD among Vietnam veterans verses WWII veterans is that WWII Vets left as a unit, spent weeks or even months returning to the world, where they were welcomed as heroes. During this time they were able to talk with one another, tell their war stories, etc. and talk out their experiences to others that understood what they were saying. In my case I literally went from the jungles of Vietnam to the world in just one day -- by myself. I was greeted by a blonde-haired, hippie chick that gave me a flower and forgave me for being a baby killer (I ate the flower.) All the way home, I was looked upon with disgust, and even spit upon.

I too suffer from PTSD. I served in Vietnam from 03Oct68 to 19Oct69. I was with the 5th Special Forces Group (ABN) under the umbrella of MACVSOG, SOA, CCS, B-50, and Omega Project in the Central Highlands (Montanyard country). The weather there was better than the southern part of Vietnam, no swamps, oppressive heat or humidity. It reminded me of my home state of West Virginia in some ways. I served as an instructor at Fort Bragg, N.C. teaching Morse code thru an experimental method known as Cornish Commo. I understand that all of the records concerning Cornish were destroyed after I went to Vietnam. I was by no means any kind of hero; suffice it to say that I was awarded a bunch of medals. I am struggling to retain my pride in what I did for my country, but it's not easy.

When our eyes view anything, the information is transmitted to the left and right sides of our brain to be processed into memory. When we experience something, such as fear of death, helplessness, fight or flight reactions, rape, or an unexpected death, the right and left sides of our brain short-circuit and don't process the information into normal memory. When we see something that 'triggers' these unprocessed memories, our brain 'flashes back' to the unprocessed event, causing one to relive the traumatic event.

One commonly gets the shakes, sweats, hyper-vigilance, and an accelerated startle response, along with the flashbacks. I know several people who have undergone therapy for years unsuccessfully. Fortunately, there is a relatively new treatment available that has a 84% to 90% success rate in curing PTSD in as little as three 30-minute sessions. Sounds to good to be true? I've communicated with a fellow Special Forces trooper, Big John and his wife, Jo, who is a mental health therapist. After several years of conventional therapy, Big John has told me that he is practically cured after only three sessions.

What is it and how does it work? I've spoken with six mental health professionals -- Psychiatrists, Psychologists, to Therapists -- certified to perform this treatment. They all tell the same story. The procedure is called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). Basically, from a layman's viewpoint, it works like this: You write your recollections of the traumatic events, sit before a light bar and follow the lights with your eyes. This combination of recalling past memories, with rapid eye movement (REM) allows your eyes to communicate with your left and right sides of your brain, thus allowing you to reprocess your past traumatic experiences and place them into normal memory.

You will never forget what happened, but you won't experience extreme PTSD symptoms again. Research is still ongoing as to how this works. No one yet knows how it works, just that it does.

You can contact the EMDR Institute at www.EMDR.com and they will send you a free listing of qualified practitioners within a 50-mile radius of your home. Word of advice: I got my listing of 12 doctors and therapists and finally connected with Dr. Sandra Grey, only to find that she has a two-year waiting list for new patients. The other 11 practitioners on the list have a waiting list from 18 months to a year. If you are nice and polite, they may see if any of their associates can squeeze you in for at least one session. They are going to try and sell you therapy sessions to 'talk it out', but you've already done that through the EMDR therapy all by yourself.

I had my very first EMDR treatment today. Mr. Earl R. Durant, LPC, LMFT, was kind enough to offer treatment and work me into his busy schedule. IT REALLY WORKS! I just finished my first EMDR treatment; $142.50 for 90 minutes. My insurance won't cover it because they consider it an experimental procedure. I cannot believe how relaxed I feel.

You sit in front of this light bar with earphones on and watch the lights go from left to right. You hear a little beep each time the light get to the far right and far left, a 15 seconds cycle. The therapist then asks you to concentrate on a place where you feel very safe and relaxed. In my case, it's my recliner with my back to the wall, in a corner of the living room. I gave it a name, "chair." He then told me to concentrate on the mental image of the chair and say to myself, "chair", touch my right index finger to my thumb, and watch the light bar again. After a few runs with the bar, I started to feel a heavy weight ooze out of my body, my hands stopped shaking and felt so light that they actually rose into the air. I can't remember feeling this relaxed, ever.

That was at 14:00 hrs and it's now 17:00 hours and the feeling hasn't gone away. The therapist told me it will become semi-permanent eventually, unless I get into a life or death situation. I asked him how it works, he replied that if he knew he would be a rich man. I think it has to do with Hypnosis because it requires you to focus and then find an anchor. Next week, we start hitting on specific flashbacks, to reprocess them into normal memory instead of them actually happening in my mind.

Well it's just about all over. Have had four 90-minute sessions, due to the severity of my condition. I can now calmly recall episodes in Vietnam without reliving them. My exaggerated startle response is greatly diminished, but not yet totally cured. I have to go sleep in the woods with my rifle for two nights and go to the firing range with my .45 ACP (100 rounds) to test my responses. If I pass, or don't blow my head off, then I'm supposed to be cured.

It works! Have never felt better in my life. Wound up feeding apples to the wild deer on the second day, they could sense my calm and lack of threat. Blew the center out of the target several times, no adverse reactions. If you think that you might have PTSD, get a qualified diagnosis and sign up for EMDR treatment. Believe me, it WILL change your life.

4. You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding underwater.

Guess what? The system really does work. Check out the award letter below. I have been awarded a 30% DISABILITY COMPENSATION from the VETERANS ADMINISTRATION for my service in Vietnam... $344.00 a month tax free, plus checks for my wife and children, free medical care, prescriptions, preventive care, hospital care, etc., a check for $1422.00 (retroactive and tax free) and much more to come. It was all honest, clean and above board.

I used the VA's own records and procedures and was honestly awarded a 30% disability compensation rating. I've talked to people who have been 'fighting' the system over six years. Check out the dates on my award letter; less than six months. If I can do it, then you can do it. This is not some benefits scam operation. I'm just a gray haired, tired, old Green Beret that decided to take on one more mission. If you have it coming to you, get it! If you are truly SF, I will help you. I must extend my most sincere thanks to Cindi Lou and Ed, without whose help, this site would not have been possible.

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