February 21, 2017 I can't imagine where 2016 went. It seems that no matter how diligently we try to prioritize and push, some part of our lives always slips to the bottom of the list and I think that may be where our web site fell. I have missed my time sharing this continuing journey. Last year brought with it a bit of letting go. Now that I have completed some of the projects that demanded so much time over the last 12 months, I am anxious to redecorate the pages that I created so many years ago. The challenge with letting go, is carefully choosing what will fill the newly created space. Boundaries, joys, living each moment as if it were your last. I am still learning and will always be inspired by my sweet Angel and her continuing inspiration. Jan MyAngelShannon@aol.com. December 4, 2015 This year for us, like so many of you, has found us once again finding ways to embrace the inevitability of loss. We know that love gives us hope, and courage and the will to move forward, but love also asks us to find time to simply be. To feel and remember and share and allow, once more. If you have found your way to Shannon's website, it's not an accident, and I wanted you to know that we are still here... still appreciating every experience... the happy and the sad, and with the coming of this new year, I hope to spend more time communicating with friends, both old and new. May your Christmas be blessed with light and wonder and the New Year peaceful and bright with hope. Jan MyAngelShannon@aol.com. October 7, 2014 Another year... time moves so quickly. In the next few weeks, I will be updating. It's long overdue. So much changes, while so much stays the same as our journey with love and loss continues. What I know for certain, is that we find our way, together, and hearing from you lifts my spirit and reminds me that I am never alone, and neither are you. Jan MyAngelShannon@aol.com. Thank you for Our Shannon I struggled with how to invite you into our lives. I wanted to share the gift of Shannon's wit and wisdom, her amazing ability to see the incredible in the mundane and leave you with a smile in your heart, but the truth is that with the joy of her life, comes the pain of her leaving us too soon. I miss her with every breath and some moments of longing are unbearable, but if I have learned nothing else, I know for sure that love is stronger than grief and lasts forever and beyond. So allow me to share the joy of Shannon's life and some of the ways that she has found to let us know that she is there... watching, loving and hopefully proud of her Mom and Dad. January 03, 2013 For so many of us this has been a challenging year and yet we have found a way to begin again with hope and faith and I am so grateful to all of you who once again, opened your hearts to Shannon in that magical way that never ceases to amaze me. Oprah reran the show on Gratitude last year and I heard from so many of you asking about Shannon's bookmarks. You can't know how deeply you touched my heart. To know that Shannon is still whispering encouragement and making the difference she so hoped her life would offer... you are just wonderful. As I make plans for the coming year, I will be updating the web site but until then, I wanted you to know that we are still here and appreciate all that you add to our lives, more than words can say. Wishing you a New Year, blessed in every possible way. Jan January 15, 2012 It's been a while. Life is in perpetual motion and yet my connection to you, through Shannon, continues to keep me inspired and always searching for my purpose. On January 1, I spent the day brightening Shannon's room. New bedspread and throw pillows, bright white blinds, and a thorough dusting. In her nightstand, I found a well worn Panasonic "Walk Man". Funny to think how many new adults won't even know what that is. The batteries had corroded and I was about to throw it away when I got one of those familiar, gentle taps on my shoulder. I opened the little cassette door and removed the unlabeled tape. I had been asking for direction for weeks. A sign, any sign. The holidays had been wonderful, spent with family, but even with so much to be thankful for, Shannon's absence is always challenging. So, I secretly asked, repeatedly for any sign that she was there, here. Many years earlier, I had a telephone reading with a Medium, Patrick Matthews. I had forgotten most of what he had shared but hearing it again affirmed that there is so much more to love and life after 'death' than we can logically comprehend. One of Shannon's messages to me had been to "do the homework", from Patrick's book, so I spent the next several days searching the house for the book and finally in desperation, decided to order another. When the book appeared on Amazon, there was a suggestion to also purchase, Your Soul's Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born by Robert Schwartz. I decided that this might just be the sign I was longing for and ordered both. The books arrived and I opened Soul's Plan to the chapter written about a Mother's loss of her only child and the lessons our spirit is trying to learn from such a devastating loss. When I read that that Mom was from Jules' hometown, I was overwhelmed. It had to be more than mere coincidence. I still have more to read, connections to make and I can't be sure where it all leads but I wanted to start here. To let you know that we are still here. Still breathing. Still laughing and loving and finding a way through this life. We are not who we were almost fourteen years ago, but my hope is that we are proof that when a heart breaks the universe expands and floods us all with more love and light than before. I love hearing from you, so never hesitate to share your own journey. With such gratitude, Jan We would love to hear from you Remembering Shannon's Spirit January 8, 2009 We plot our course and make our plans and then we adapt and learn to "trust what we can't know". I've been waiting to write until I believed I could and perhaps we never really gain the confidence we need until we take the risk. We take that leap of faith, with open hearts and unselfish intent, and see what happens. That is where I am as I continue, writing something... every day. There are so many people, so many stories, so many kindnesses that have blessed our lives because Shannon chose to be ours for a time. As I "blog" I hope to share some of what has been shared. Thank you for always being there. An Introduction Remembering Shannon's Spirit Shannon's Garden Coping With Grief October 29, 2009 The Continuation of a Dream - Photography ~ The Cricket's Song Life is unpredictable. Those of us who have tried to feel safe by staying in control, always having a plan, a clearly defined direction, discover, sooner or later, that control is an illusion. I am finally having to release my white knuckled grip on what is safe and predictable because I will soon be 55, and I want to be a photographer. Have I waited too long? I recently had the pleasure of photographing a wedding. It was wonderful. To know that I was preserving memories, capturing joy and promise, hope and love. I can't imagine a more wonderful way to spend my days. I am starting slowly, studying, learning, sharing, listening for Shannon's inspiration and guidance. Her journal entry for October 31, 1997 says "I know that God will guide me in the right direction and let things happen when they're suppose to, I just have to trust that I'll pick up on the signs when I'm suppose to." She was so wise. I am so blessed. I hope you will join me, once again, as I embark on the next path...helping me to see the signs when I'm supposed to. I have created a preliminary website so that I can share some of our moments. Please let me know what you think. This life is still a work in progress, a continual unfolding, and I am forever grateful for your company along the way. Please visit The Cricket's Song February 25, 2009 Time has a funny way of unfolding at its own pace in its own time and we have two choices, swim against the flow or relax and see where it carries us. I seem to be doing a little of both these days. I hope to graduate in May and find my direction, but until then I wanted you to know that I'm still here, still so grateful for each of you and this year more than ever longing for spring and the time to simply be...be in the garden, be with family and friends, maybe just be still for a moment or two. Just know that I love you and have missed you and look forward to reconnecting. Jan "It's about love, that's it... that's all" ~ S.A.B. I remember the first time I held Shannon. I remember birthdays and holidays and holding her when she was sick. I remember feeling as if I could do anything, be anything as long as she was beside me. I remember her starting school, then college. I remember her first solo drive and the frantic call that she had "run over the Fas Mart". I remember our long drives and longer philosophical debates. I remember wanting to protect her and guarantee her happiness. I remember working late and feeling guilty. I remember the day she was diagnosed with diabetes and how brave she was at thirteen. I remember loving more than I thought humanly possible and being loved that way in return. I remember that like all mothers and daughters, we argued and saw the world from different perspectives... but the last words I heard Shannon say were, "I love you Mom." I remember that in that moment my heart jumped. She had never said it first. She would never say it again, in the same way. Too many of life's moments are hectic and demanding but there is no promise that we will have another. Hold those you love a moment longer. Tell them you love them too many times to count, and find the joy any and every way you can. Our Web Site I am finally learning to do what our dear friend Julane has done for us for so long. I am taking a Web Design class. Hopefully, before long, I will be able to connect and share with you in a more timely way. Thank you for your patience and gentle support... thank you for opening your hearts We would love to hear from you Music by Enya "So I Could Find My Way"