These are quotes that have made me laugh a little,and think a little. They are not in any certain order. Maybe someday I'll put them in catagories,but for now I guess this will have to do. So I hope you enjoy this jumble of quotes and find something that will make you smile or something that may put an idea you have in perspective. Enjoy!
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -Dan Quayle
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." -Ziggy
"Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents." -Anon.
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -Lee Iacocca
"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years.
[about the past] ...the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. Rafikki to Simba in Disney's The Lion King
Sure God created man before woman.. but then you always make a rough draft before The Final Masterpiece.
Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. Jesse Jackson
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Bumper Sticker
Take time to love her or someone else will. —Unknown
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. A dog is a man's best friend. Who's smarter?
"Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." - Pete Seeger
"A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell."
To err is human, but to really screw up you need a computer
Never argue with a fool - people might not notice the difference.
It takes a woman twenty years To make a man of her son, And another woman twenty minutes to make a fool out of him. Helen Rowland
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -- Calvin and Hobbes
Batman -Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Let me tell you a little story about a man named "Shh" I've got a whole bag of SHHH with your name on it From Austin Powers
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." ~Maya Angelou
"Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies." ~Adrienne Gusoff
"Don't go where the path may lead; go where there is no path and leave a trail."
Romance the world. Court life. The rest is magic. Jason Johnson
"~I knew that looking back on the times I've cried, I would laugh,but I never knew that looking back on the times I've laughed, I would cry~"
*Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down*~ -Oprah Winfrey
"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart." ~Unknown
*And Pooh gave Christopher Robin the biggest Pooh hug he could give because he knew that goodbyes were not far away*
"The world is run by C students." -Unknown
Life's a dance you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. - John Micheal Montgomery
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them? -Calvin from "Calvin and Hobbes"
I don't know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out. Then it was nice ... It's like just before tha sun goes to bed down on the bay, those million sparkles on the water ... Like that mountain lake, it was so clear, Jenny, it looked like 2 skies, one on top of the other. And then in the desert when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven started and the earth begun. It's so beautiful ... Jenny, I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is. Forrest Gump
i'd rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special -steel magnolias
"Be excellent to each other." Bill and Ted
"A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses." - Proverb
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ---Calvin & Hobbes
Love is blind and I'm the only idiot who didn't buy a cane. ---Unknown
And how high can you fly with broken wings? Life's a journey, not a destination, and I just can't tell what tomorrow brings. ---Aerosmith
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch you smile while you are sleeping Far away and dreaming I could spend my life lost in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Well, every moment spent with you Is a moment I treasure ---"I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith
It is impossible to maintain a civilization with 12 year olds having babies, and 15 year olds killing each other, and 17 year olds dying of AIDS, and with 18 year olds ending up with diplomas they can't even read.--Newt Gingrich
Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable. --The Wizard of Oz
"Knowledge comes but wisdom lingers." - Tennyson
"Women who seek to be equal with men, lack ambition." -Tim Leary
"Don't walk ahead, I may not follow." "Don't walk behind, I may not lead." "Just walk beside me and be my friend." ---Albert Camus
"These are the times to remember, they will not last forever. These are the days to hold onto, cuz we won't although we want to" Billy Joel
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful , but she is beautiful because you love her. "One day there will be no borders, no boundries, no flags, and no countries, and the only passport will be the heart." Santana
Perhaps one way of coping with the population explosion would be to give every potential parent some experience in driving a school bus. --Franklin P. Jones
It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits, but I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. --Hank Aaron
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin
"I don't have time every morning to put on makeup. I need that time to clean my rifle." ~Henriette Mantel
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. Charles Schulz
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards. --Mark Twain
"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tries, a touch that never hurts." ~unknown
God, grant me the serenity to accept a post I cannot change Courage to walk past the computer without turning it on when I am running late for work. And the wisdom to know the difference between "Come to bed now", meaning "Let's have some fun", and "Come to bed NOW!", meaning" The computer has to go!" -author unknown
You appear to have composed a post with no punctuation and written all in capitals. You may be too stupid to be allowed to use the internet.
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell
My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. Mickey Mouse
While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindth
"We are the people our parents warned us about." -Jimmy Buffett
"When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes." -Oprah Winfrey
"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it." - City of Angels
"When you become senile, you won’t know it." - Bill Cosby
"The only thing the daddies have to do to make a baby is the fun part." - Ruthie, "7th Heaven"
"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes to us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands and hopes we've learnt something from yesterday." - John Wayne
"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." - Unknown
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart" -Helen Keller
"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness barable, is eachother" -Contact (the movie)
“Luckily, I keep my feathers numbered for . . . for just such an emergency.” Fog Horn-Leg Horn
Nothing has turned out as we expected! It never does. Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it's no worse than it is. Gone With the Wind
"I like nonsense. Fantasy is a necessary thing in living, it's a way of looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laught at life's realities." Dr. Seuss
"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance." -George Bernard Shaw
I've had it with reality, I want a fairy godmother.
"We are like children, who stand in need of masters to enlighten us and direct us; and God has provided for this, by appointing his angels to be our teachers and guides." -Saint Thomas Aquinas
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." ~Calvin
"There is no man that is worth your tears. When you find one who is, he won't make you cry."
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. Calvin & Hobbs
"Love is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity." Helen Hayes
"Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me." - Rugrats
"May your heart always be joyful may your song always be sung, may you stay forever young" Bob Dylan
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flushes.With male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. Rita Rudner
I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. -- The Shawshank Redemption, spoken by Red
