Welcome to my old romping grounds. This page is set aside as a spoof of where I became
a man (literally & figuratively), home-town radio stations WNRG & WMJD.
Air time : The time between when a DJ first finds out they have to record a new commercial
and the time that it's supposed to be played (usually 5 minutes).
Board : What you are 4 hours into a 6 hour shift.
Boom Box : Nickname given to the restroom on burrito & taco Tuesdays.
CD : A good way for DJ's to insure future financial stability.
Compact Disc : A flat, round digital storage medium which is virtually indestructible until
it's removed from it's case.
Console : A natural collection area for cigarette ashes, spilled caffeinated drinks and
cookie crumbs.
Dead Air : The amount of time between when a song ends and when you run in from the balcony to
start the next song.
Disc : The part of the spine which, when forced out of alignment due to continuous groveling,
causes intense lower back pain.
Distortion : The difference between what is sent and what is received (i.e. The difference
between what you meant as a professional suggestion that some of the aging equipment needs
updating and what management perceived as a sarcastic inference that your Game Boy contains
superior electronics).
Gain : To add body weight by consuming the staples of a DJ's diet (see console).
Groupie : A person that makes it worthwhile to take the station Winnebago out on remote.
Input : Any thoughts or suggestions communicated to management which are subsequently ignored.
Kill date : Any length of time, up to several weeks, before a piece of out-dated material
is actually pulled.
Marti : An electronic device that relays unwanted noise from anywhere in the surrounding area
back to the studios.
Microwave link : The secertary who kindly brings up your Hot Pocket from the office lunchroom
downstairs.
Phone patch (1) : Electrical circuit that feeds the noise generated by a telephone line directly
into broadcast equipment.
Phone patch (2) : Device applied to DJ's arm so he won't go home at night and answer his phone
with "Request Line".
Pot : Short for potentiometer; a device used to over-modulate an audio signal.
Program log : A sheet on which to mark the shows and/or commercials you forgot to play.
Promo : An announcement about any contest, program or event sponsored by the station which
will be much less successful than it was originally hoped.
PSA power : Authorization by the FCC to sign-on earlier than normal; allows you to be heard by
anyone you can see.
Public file : A file that does not contain the documents it's supposed to.
Pull date : A girl who has to be home by 10 p.m.
Remote : You can't GET more remote than Grundy!
Satellite dish : A device used 5 hours a week to receive NASCAR races & 50 hours a week
to receive The Playboy Channel.
STL (Studio to Transmitter Link) : A device which, in the event of a problem, allows the
engineer to get to the tower in about 30 minutes (also called a 4-wheel drive).
TFN : A commercial that will still be playing years after the death of the guy who
recorded it.
Tape-delay playback : The system that allows you to 'work' until 9 p.m. while picking up
your date at 8:45.
Total Running Time : The amount of elapsed time between the beginning of a program element and
the beginning of a period of dead air.
3 second delay : The amount of time between when an obscenity is accidentally used and when
the DJ realizes it.
Groupie : Someone who eases the embarassment of taking the station Winnebago out on remote.
PSA power : Authorization by the FCC to sign-on earlier than normal; allows you to be heard by
anyone that can see you.
PPSA power : Authorization by the FCC to sign-off later than normal; allows you to be heard by
anyone that can smell you.