Dear______
A) EGB fan
B) Eduardo fan
C) Eduardo obsessive fan
I suppose you're wondering______
A) Why I'm writing anougther justification page
B) Why Kylie can't see just how wonderful Eduardo is
C) Why the Kylie bitc..uh, loser thinks she can treat Eduardo (love of
my life) the way she does!
So, I wrote this page to explain_____
A) Why I love Eduardo
B) Why I NEED Eduardo
C) What using experimental medicines can do...
Eduardo is defiantly the star in the show. For example____
A) He went into the containment unit
B) He stopped the salesman
C) He's always saving them. I'VE never seen him screw up...
And he's hot with the chics too! Remember____
A) The balcony scene?
B) He got Bess' phone number at the end of "Witchy Women"?
C) In "Home is where the horror is", the french maid waved at him?!
D) If I was a cartoon character, or DR. WAV could really invent a
trans-dimensional holographic projector, I'd be dating him!
I do not think I'm totally obsessed just because I_____
A) Searched the net for anything even rometly Eduardo related
B) Bought all the Suzanne Vega CD's I could get my hands on (well, I
do like her...)
C) wrote this list
D) Spend my night's looking for teenaged guys with projectile hair,
goatees, and soft brown dreamy eyes...
Besides, just because _______, doesn't mean I'm obsessed.
A) If someone goes missing for more than 3 minutes, I tell people
"Maybe (s)he's dead..."
B) I dressed my Eduardo action figure in a tux, and went out for
supper with him...
C)I hate my brother. So what if he's not a jerk, cop, and I don't live
with him. Never mind I don't even have a brother. I still hate him!
And doesn't everybody_______
A) Have "EDUARDO" as at least one password on their computer
B) Tried to start a Monkhood devoted to all that is Eduardo...
C) Carved Eduardo into my arm. And my other arm. And my leg. And my...
I am aware that some people don't even like Eduardo, to which I
respond to with______
A) I respect your opinion...you jerk
B) Usted esta loco! Usted tiene una boca grande! ( You are crazy! You
have a big mouth!)
C) Who can talk to a corpse?
I think you should join my belief's, or at least try to understand
them, because_____
A) I say so
B) It'll make my psychiatrist rich, and he's giving me a 10% cut
C) I control the horizontal and the vertical. I do have the power to
obliterate you, you spawn of Satan! For I am Queen Lord Vanilla of
Almighty High!
A) thanks for reading, or at least pretending to...
B) Hugs & Kisses...
C) No hugs and Kisses, I'm saving all mine for Eduardo...
A) Vanilla
B) Queen Lord Vanilla of Almighty High
C) I'm not saying. The last time I signed one of these, I had to live in a
padded room with a nice little jacket for awhile...