june 29, 2001
seems this page is dying..i never have time to sit down and do the things i would like to do with it. it should be full of stories, of beautiful words and poetry and pictures and ideas. but it's not. the time passes and nobody pays attention to it and it begins to wither away, fading, just like me.
come watch now, watch me dance myself to death!
a rope dangling above a pit of quicksand, choked blind by the clamp of a distressed hand. i'm falling faint, my fibers tearing, my arms dangling limp at my sides. i am of no use anymore.
a dancing rope...drowning.. itself...in...sorrow..
i gasp for a breath of reality as you pull me further into your pool of despair, only to find that i too have lost my way to the surface. and though my lungs cry for air, they are met only with the grit of the harshest, coarsest sand. it moves through my veins, hardening my arms, its weight forcing my hands and feet to the ground.
and so the tempo slows....slows......slows..........
here lies the stony blackness that has crept across my eyes..
so quiet on its feet..a pas de chat..
i never heard its steps until they had overtaken my own.

june 8, 2001
days of sound in the silence, that's all i need to get by. nights seen by light of the moon, filled with words never meant to forget, they glisten in my mind. such wonderful things sit before me but seem so far away. i pray that i won't forget the way those golden keys felt under my fingers, and the way the music played on all those quiet nights. maybe i've practiced so hard my hands are going numb, and my lips are too tired and clumsy to speak. maybe it's time to take a rest from thinking and a break from analyzing...planning out each chord strains the sound, and concentrating down into a rigid ball of tension just makes nothing come out at all. so let me unwind and stretch my fingers upward, outward, and close my eyes and arch my back..it's all i need to get by. as dusk falls upon us, let me come over and relax in your arms, you who put the glisten in my life.

june 4, 2001
so now we are two in one container, peas in a pod, roomies in a house. we have endless uno games and bottles of beer from places we've never been, enjoyed with the people we love to love. flower boxes on the porch and pictures of charlie parker on the wall, it can't get any better than this, as we sleep with the stars so close over our heads.