The Complete and Unabridged Version of: How to Make a Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich By: Jessica Harper
The Complete and Unabridged Version of: How to Make a Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich By: Jessica Harper
*~Key~*
*-If under the age of 9, have an adult perform this step.
PB&J-Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
P-Peanut Butter
J-Jelly
(,) – Bread Slice(s)
Realize that you are hungry.
Audibly state, even if there is no one around to hear, “Gee, I am hungry.”
Decide on what to eat, in this case, a PB&J sandwich.
Go into the kitchen of your house.
Open the door of the refrigerator.
Make sure you have a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, and a loaf of bread before starting. If you do not, either borrow some from a neighbor or go to the store and buy some. Be sure to take money so that you can afford the jar of peanut butter, the jar of jelly, and the loaf of bread.
Take out a jar of jelly that is of a preferred flavor.
Set jar of jelly on a flat surface, preferably a table.
Find jar of peanut butter, crunchy or smooth.
Place jar upon the same flat surface you placed the jar of jelly on.
Get a clean plate to place bread upon.
Place the clean plate upon a flat surface, preferably the same surface you place the jar of jelly and the jar of peanut butter on.
Get some bread from wherever you keep it.
If the bread is in a bag, undo the twisty-tie. If in a canister, open the canister.
Take out two slices of bread.
If you want the bread toasted, keep reading. If you do not have a toaster or do not want your bread toasted, skip to step #21
Place the bread in a toaster that is plugged into a working electrical socket.
*Depress the thingy that makes the toast go down. The toaster will automatically turn on. If it does not, make sure it is plugged into a working electrical outlet. If it still does not work, unplug the toaster and proceed to take it to an electrician who will be able to service your toaster.
Wait for the toast to pop up.
*Remove the toast from the toaster. Caution: Toast is hot. Be careful.
Place the bread or toast upon the clean plate.
Get a spoon from wherever you keep the spoons.
Place it on the plate.
Unscrew the peanut butter jar lid. To unscrew, turn in a counter-clockwise direction.
Place the lid next to the jar of peanut butter, which should be on a table.
Unscrew the jelly lid. To unscrew, turn in a counter-clockwise direction.
Place the lid next to the jar of jelly, which should be on a table.
*Using the spoon, remove a decent amount of jelly from the jelly jar.
*Spread the jelly on a piece of toast with the spoon.
Using a piece of paper towel you have taken from the roll that is in your kitchen, wipe off the spoon.
Screw the top back on the jar of jelly.
*Use the spoon to remove a decent amount of peanut butter from the peanut butter jar. (Note: If you keep peanut butter in the refrigerator, let it reach room temperature so that it will not tear the bread.)
*Spread the peanut butter on the other piece of bread. Your plate should have two pieces of bread on it, and resemble this. (P)(J)
Place the two pieces of bread with jelly and peanut butter on them together, with the peanut butter and jelly facing each other. Your completed sandwich should look like this from the side. (PJ) or
Place the completed peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the plate.
*If you do not like crusts on your sandwiches, get a knife from wherever you keep your knives.
*Holding the knife by the handle, proceed to cut off the crusts. You should cut around the edge, just before the bread gets to the crust, that way you do not waste bread.
Don't forget a glass of milk!
Go to where you keep your drinking glasses or cups.
Pick up a glass. Keep firm but not too firm pressure on it so that it does not break or fall into the floor.
Place the glass upon the table where you placed the plate and the jars of peanut butter and jelly.
Go to the refrigerator.
Open the door.
Locate and remove the bottle of milk.
Place your hand on top of the milk bottle cap.
Unscrew the cap of the bottle of milk by turning it counter-clockwise. If the milk bottle is a plastic jug, then use your thumb to raise the cap.
Set the milk bottle cap in a place where you cannot lose it, preferably the kitchen table.
Pick up bottle of milk, using a grip that is firm, but not too firm or too loose.
*Pour milk into glass. The milk should fill the cup about 3/4 of the way.Do not pour too much in, as you can make a mess. Your glass of milk should look like this:
Set the bottle of milk back down on the kitchen table.
Pick up the cap to the bottle of milk.
Place the milk bottle cap on top of the milk bottle.
Screw the cap back on the bottle of milk by turning it in a clockwise direction or press it back on firmly (press on is for only milk jugs).
Go to the refrigerator.
Open the door.
Locate where you removed the milk from.
Walk to back to the kitchen table and pick up the bottle of milk.
Walk back over to the refrigerator.
Place the bottle of milk back into the refrigerator into the empty spot you found in step 56.
Close the refrigerator door.
Go back to table.
Sit down in chair, which should be near table.
To Eat PB&J Sandwich:
(It is preferred by most to be seated while completing this process)
Pick up the completed sandwich.
Raise it to your mouth.
Open your mouth.
Bite off a reasonable sized piece of the sandwich.
Place sandwich back on plate while leaving piece you bit off in your mouth.
Chew.
Swallow.
Pick up the glass with milk in it, using firm but not too firm pressure.
Raise glass to mouth.
Tilt glass so that milk flows into mouth. Stop when there is a decent amount of milk in your mouth.
Tilt glass so that is is upright, with the open part is facing the ceiling.
Place the glass of milk back upon the table.
Repeat as necessary, or until you run out of sandwich or milk.
Cleanup
If you were seated, stand up.
Take the spoon and plate over to the sink in the kitchen.
*Turn on the hot water.
*Get some soap or dishwashing detergent, and proceed to use it to wash the spoon and plate under the running hot water.
Go back to where you prepared the PB&J Sandwich, and, by turning it clockwise, screw the lid of the jelly jar back onto the jelly jar.
Screw the lid of the peanut butter jar back onto the peanut butter jar.
Go to where the jar of peanut butter is, and return the jar of peanut butter to where it originally was.
Go over to the refrigerator and open the door.
Place the jar of jelly back inside the refrigerator.
Place the jar of peanut butter back inside the refrigerator.
Close the refrigerator door.
Go to where you first set down the loaf of bread. If needed, tie the twisty-tie around the open part of the bread bag to ensure freshness. If you do not have a twisty-tie, then tie a knot in the bread bag where you would have placed the twisty-tie. If the loaf of bread did not come from a bag, put it back in its proper container.
Return the loaf of bread to its original location.
Go back to what you were doing before Step #1 occurred. Do not repeat Steps #1-89 unless you are still hungry and thirsty. If you are just still thirsty, repeat Steps #38-62 and #70-75. If you are still hungry, repeat all steps minus #38-62 and #70-75
