<HEAD> <title>Will We Burn in Heaven?
Will We Burn In Heaven?

By Absinthe

Disclaimers: see the prologue.
Chapter 25:

They walked in step with each other. Their fingers were entwined and their bodies were so close to each other that their hips rubbed together with every stride. Sarah had only been coaxed outside through several promises and much cajoling. Maia felt that she couldn't leave her lover if the woman was afraid to go outside. Every time Sarah jumped at a noise, Maia flinched inwardly. She felt a little piece of herself give up and break away. It was her fault; all her fault. There was no going back, and no time for regrets, Maia scolded herself meanwhile giving no outward indication of her ongoing inner monologue.

It was the late morning of the first day. It was likely that the sun would set on them together only once more. Sarah didn't know it yet, but their time seemed to be visibly dwindling. Maia forced herself not to look at clocks or ask passersby for the time. She didn't want to know. She wanted to take Sarah back to the apartment and ravish her with her tongue and rough, harsh hands. But that would be selfish; she'd been selfish enough for ten life times already.

The right thing to do was to walk quietly and make sure that Sarah would be able to function with her new-found knowledge of the truth behind James Bond. The awful truth was that Section wasn't always clear as to its motives, nor was it exactly something you could take a vacation away from. Sarah would have to live with the knowledge that she could be followed, monitored, used, killed, or taken at any time by the expansive organization.

Chances were, though, that she would be safe as long as Maia lived.

The only question that remained, was how could Maia tell her what was going to happen in 48 hours? Should she lie or tell the truth? As she had long ago realized; here there were no right or wrong decisions, only lesser degrees of evil.

When they returned to the apartment, Sarah pulled her lover to the couch and sat them both down purposefully.

"OK. There's something you're holding back from me," she said.

Maia felt both her eyebrows creep up her forehead. Sarah was unfailingly surprising in her ability to read people; Maia in particular. It was an old skill that Sarah was remembering as they became familiar with one another. Not even in their dreams were they truly aware of the ancient nature of their association, however.

"Uh," was all Maia could think of to say.

"Does that mean yes?" Sarah replied with forced levity.

"No. I mean yes. Yes I guess it does."

"Well?" Sarah managed to invest this single word with an edge of hysteria.

"I knew the risks when I decided to leave Section. Now it's my time to pay."

The clock on the wall ticked with alarming volume, and even the sounds of the cars outside intruded on the silence within.

"How much time?" Sarah finally asked.

"Tonight. Tomorrow, maybe a little longer," Maia shrugged.

"When were you going to tell me? Were you just going to leave me a Dear Jane note or something?"

"I don't know. I was building up the courage," Maia felt somehow defeated. Saying it out loud made the whole situation so much more real. Sarah stood and strode to the sideboard for a quick drink to still her nerves. The warmth spreading in her stomach gave her the strength to turn around and look her lover in the eyes.

"You said it was going to be all right."

"I'm sorry. You were hysterical. I didn't know what else to say. Every time I'm close to you Sarah, I can't think right. No more questions. It's all been said," Maia grasped Sarah's wrists gently and tugged her close.

"You gave up your life to be with me," Sarah breathed.

"I'd do it again. A thousand times over. The life I've left behind me was . . . nothing," she stopped and bent down a little to capture Sarah's lips in a bruising kiss. Sarah was tempted for the briefest of moments to pull back. She had so many things to say. The heat building at the apex of her thighs clamored that this was more important. I wonder if it burns like this in heaven?
If not, maybe I don't wanna go, Sarah thought warmly. In the glow of the aftermath of their lovemaking, she almost managed to forget that the dawn was their enemy tonight. The fury of her earlier thoughts had been scorched away by the incredible heights to which their passion had driven them. It was as if all the previous times they had pleasured each other they had not begun to plumb the depths of their capacity for sensation. Even Maia, who had long believed that she'd lost her ability to be surprised by her body, was pleasantly shocked. It was, no doubt, the fleeting, stolen feeling that pervaded every touch and every moment they had left together that heightened both their senses.

The enemy arrived too quickly. They were worn out from the long night of passion, and even more tired by the emotional strain they were both under. But neither would surrender any time to sleep. Sunrise found them downing coffee and laughing together as though it were any other morning of their lives. If the laughter possessed a tinge of desperation and the coffee was a little stronger than usual, no one noticed.

The day passed in a haze of caffeine and personal revelations. At ten that night, the phone rang.

"Angela," an unfamiliar voice said without preamble.

"I'm coming," Maia replied automatically to her code word and hung up the phone. Sarah's eyes widened as the moment approached with devastating swiftness. At the time when they had finally opened completely for each other, they were wrenched apart. Maia walked stoically to the front door before turning to look at her lover again. Sarah rushed forward and was folded one last time into a rough embrace. She clutched at Maia's shirt.

"You don't have to go. Let's leave. We have the car, we can run away again."

"And be found again? No. Never. Forgive me Sarah," Maia firmly, but sadly replied. She used one hand to gently lift Sarah's chin, "You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

The words struck some ancient chord between them that echoed over the fabric of centuries. Sarah let go. She squeezed Maia's hand once and then folded her own determinedly behind her back.

"I love you."
There was a car waiting for her. Maia turned her thoughts ahead, not sure suddenly, if it was worse to worry about the pain that lay ahead, or to reminisce about the brief time that she had pretended to have something that could never be hers. The last months reared in all their delicious beauty and absurdity to taunt her as she sat quietly in the back seat of the Mercedes.
I looked at the phone, and for a moment I thought that the innocuous device was the demon that had destroyed the little life I'd built up for myself. Forgive her? Forgive her for leaving or for coming in the first place? The apartment was so silent. I understood then what Melinda Covington had felt when she returned home from meeting Janice.

Everything happened so quickly. Could it be that we met and fell in love and lost each other all in less than three months? We had spent only two weeks on the road together. Only two weeks.

But we'd said goodbye. You didn't always get to do that. It let me step back from the pain, just like it'd let me step back from her. I can step back now and know that I had felt love. I had experienced a thing that many only dream about, or pretend to know when in truth they felt only a shadow of the real emotion. I had felt love, and knowing that, my heart was as wide as the sky.




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Email(please?): absinthe@earthling.net