I'm a Pisces

Jiminy Glick interviews Stephen Zielke.

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JG: Why don't we start out with you giving your full name. SZ: Stephen Michael Zielke JG: Stephen Michael Zielke, born at the West Allis Memorial Hospital on the morning of April 5th 1984 to Mike and Carol and given the social security number 393-04-9594 and was ranked 33 in the class of 2002 of West Allis Central High School, how are you doing today? SZ: Are you really gunna put my social security number in a national publication? JG: Nevermind that, answer the question please. SZ: Uh, I'm swell. JG: Now, I notice you are a terribly attractive guy, and terribly single as I understand. SZ: Terribly? JG Why don’t you give the ladies out there a little information about yourself? SZ: Okay. Well, I’m a Pisces, I like cats and long walks on the beach. JG: So, you’re a cornball? SZ: Well, Jiminy, that was a joke… JG: A corny one. SZ: …and I’m actually an aris and prefer dogs but…. JG: Ladies, not only is he terribly attractive and single, but he is also quite the comedian. SZ: Don’t patronize me. JG: So what are currently doing with your life. SZ: Well I think I’m gunna try to stop drinking and smoking. That’s the latest. JG: How long have you been a smoker, that’s a discusting habit. SZ: Not long , less that a year, I just started this summer. JG: What were you thinking when you started? SZ: Well, I think smoking looks cool, and I was up in the woods working at a Boy Scout Camp, and it was kinda just something to do. JG: Ah, so you’re a role model? SZ: I didn’t smoke around the scouts, that against policy. Besides I’m quitting. JG: Well good luck with that, personally, I don’t think you have a chance. SZ: Thanks. JG: You’re a college student, enrolled at the University of Wisconsin- Stevens Point if I’m correct, your probably a music nut huh? SZ: You could say that. JG: I bet your one of the “I listen to everything” pushovers. SZ: I suppose you could say that, too. JG: Loser. SZ: What? JG: Nothing. What’s in your CD player, what did you listen to on the way to this interview? SZ: Well I rode my bike here, I don’t own my car or have my drivers license. JG: What did you do? SZ: Noting I just never went and got it. JG: I’m beginning to see why you are so single.