MORMONISM... MINGLED WITH MEMETICS

PROBING MORMON TABOOS

 

Imagine you are at sacrament meeting. A ward member gets up at the podium and does one of the following...

  1. says, "I had a profound spiritual experience last night when making love to my husband"
  2. says, "as I was reading the Book of Mormon, an angel came down from heaven and spoke with me, but I can't share the rest of the experience because of the sacred nature of it"
  3. sings a song that they wrote themselves about the temple garments
  4. warns the saints of the consequences of viewing pornography based on personal experience
  5. instead of standing behind the podium to give their talk, strolls up and down the aisles of the congregation and points his fingers at members of the congregation as he talks about the importance of obeying the law of tithing
  6. says, "I have prayed and received a witness that carbon dating is of the devil"
  7. performs "Come, Come Ye Saints" on a harmonica
  8. begins speaking excitedly in tongues
  9. says, "although I think President Hinckley's a boring speaker, I do respect him as a prophet of the Lord"
  10. begins to prophecy about the future of the congregation in the language of the King James Bible

Imagine your bishop decides to introduce one of the following innovations...

  1. have his wife and the wives of his counselors sit on the stand with them to keep them company
  2. conduct sacrament meeting outside on the lawn during nice weather
  3. have ten minutes of silence "to ponder the significance of the ordinance" before each sacrament
  4. not plan any talks or musical numbers in sacrament meeting beforehand, but improvise everything on the spot "as the Spirit dictates" -- every single Sunday
  5. have a few minutes of dancing in the middle of sacrament meeting to keep the members awake
  6. organize classes on scientific topics like physics or psychology for interested ward members to attend
  7. get rid of Priesthood and Relief Society meetings because they're boring and begin discussing current events and practical issues relevant to the lives of ward members in Sunday school
  8. hold anti-masturbation workshops to help ward members overcome the problem
  9. have anonymous voting using slips of paper instead of the usual hand-raising
  10. have ward members undergo personality testing in order to pair them with psychologically compatible companions in their callings

Hmmm... I can't help but ask:

How pragmatic are we allowed to be? How honest?

What kinds of spiritual experiences are we allowed to have?

How seriously are we allowed to take our own theology?

How much creativity are we allowed to demonstrate?

How much psychology are we allowed to apply?

How much science are we allowed to take seriously?

 

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