Useless Sayings to Get Us Through Life

"Going to church doesn't make you christian, any more than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger"
"Time is the greatest teacher, unfortunately, it kills all it's students"
"Beer kills the weak brain cells. That is why you seem smarter when you drink"
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Thomas Edison
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." -- Brendan Gill
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind." -- Gandhi
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." -- Oscar Wilde
"Support your local undertaker; DROP DEAD!"
"There are no stupid questions... only inquisitive idiots"
"Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure..."
"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have."
"It's only funny until somebody gets hurt. And then it's HILARIOUS!"
"I just thought of something funny...your mother." -- Cheech Marin