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"Open the inside..." whispered Avery.
Clotilde was in shock, but she wanted to see a picture of Taylor. She’d know once she saw his eyes.
"Taylor Hanson...is… your... brother? The eyes. " she murmured, "Did Taylor Hanson have bright blue eyes..." she whispered to herself. Looking through the booklet, she came face to face to a full page picture of the boy she was looking for. Taylor Hanson's blond hair and piercing blue eyes shone back at her.
"Oh my God.. you're...you’re Avery Hanson.."
"Read the thank you's…"
Finding it, the old lady shook as she read it out loud. "We'd like to thank Him, the light giver. He, who makes all things worthwhile. And He, who never abandons." she heard Avery give a small, bitter laugh.
Clotilde continued reading, "Our parents, Walker and Diana for their continuous love and support. Our wonderful family troop with us on the road: Mackenzie-- our not-so-little-anymore brother, and the three most beautiful girls in the world..." she heard Avery choke back a sob. But the child didn’t cry.
"Grown up Jessica, beautiful Avery, and amazing baby Zoe for their constant grins. You make it real guys. Thank you. "
She stopped reading, and stared at Avery in shock. A pair of empty, tired, sad, eyes stared back.
Clotilde tried to find her voice "Whoa... you’re one of the little Hansons. The ones who sometimes got more presents than the band. The ones with the bodyguards, with the webpages. I know exactly who you are…" Her voice was wavering. Clotilde was beginning to realize how important the teenager next to her had been.
Avery, uncomfortable, only nodded.
A thought came to Clotilde’s head. "But I thought Zoe.."
"She died a month after the record was released." Her voice showed no emotion. "They tried to keep going... they tried to.." she stopped and took a deep breath "Zac was too far gone. " she whispered “The fame was slowly killing him. Zoe's death finished him off. He felt responsible. They wrote one more song together as a band. It was their song of defeat. ‘Live to Lose.’ They had tried too hard... to not... to not end like rock stars ended. They didn’t want to be another reject band on VH1’s Behind the Music. They had such bigger aspirations. Those all went down the drain when my brother Zac slit his wrists."
She was speaking fast now, she wanted to say it as fast as she could. To finish faster. To get it over with.
"I found him. I found him sprawled on the floor of our garage, next to the drum set. Blood was coming out of his arms... thick streams of blood pouring down his arms and making a red pool beneath him. His hair was caked with blood. His body was cold. My beautiful older brother, that laughing boy with the big brown inquisitive eyes. His legs were spread apart. The knife lay a few feet next to him. Everything he had worked for, he had given up. His head was tilted to one side, and his cheek was pressed against the bloody floor. The whole side of his face was dark red. It was so……… oh … God. " she shut her eyes and tried blocking out the picture. It was still so vivid in her mind. "I still remember exactly what it looked like." she whispered "The image of him there, it haunts me..." she paused.
Her voice was thick with emotion now.
"We used to be best friends... when I found him, I thought I... I had done something good by calling 911 and saving his life. But he hated me for it...he hated me and never stopped."
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