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D' Rasta's


Lessons To Being A Great University Student




The following are the HARD learned lessons at university. To fully understand, you'd basically have to attend a post-secondary institution, but hopefully this will give you an idea:


One: the TA's never speak English, so you better learn about 12 different languages and broken ESL

Two: asking a TA a question about the lecture will give you the wrong answer--when and if you can translate

Three: professors always find a way to test knowledge that you and everyone else don't understand(even the professor!)

Four: failure becomes second nature and a mark of 60% is actually considered okay

Five: high school was the best years of your life

Six: realizing that nobody really cares who you are--you're just another number. I'm 989005370 (not my real student#)

Seven: realizing that all your spent tuition dollars ends you up with two pieces of paper...a useless degree and an application form to college

Eight: what you ate for dinner last night in Rez is somehow going to be your breakfast the next day and the mystery soup for dinner the following day

Nine: moans and grunts from the dorm room next to yours isn't necesarily what you are thinking, it's actually a student that's under stress

Ten: those stupid university jokes that you always hear are actually true. Anyone who can walk and talk can go to Brock

Eleven: your GPA is inversely proportional to your great social life

Twelve: your GPA is directly proportional to your sucky social life

Thirteen: copying old lab reports is the only way to get through labs

Fourteen: solution manuals are never recommended, but are required and are your best friends

Fifteen: crying usually helps

Sixteen: the badly dressed, smelly old man that enters the lecture hall ain't no bum, but is actually your professor

Seventeen: never lend out your notes

Eighteen: diethyl ether smells as sweet as smoking drugs

Nineteen: the LAW OF OPPOSITE REACTIONS - when you think you aced a test, you failed; when you think you failed, you did average; and when you think you did average, you failed

Twenty: realizing that the most simple things in life are the best things in life (ie. sleep, TV, friends, family, beer, finishing an exam, taste of metal gun barrel down your throat)

Have I scared everyone? Well, you should be. University is a thing not to be enjoyed. If you can make it through first year, congrats, if you can make it through second year, congrats.