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D'Rasta's


Lessons To Being A Professional Supermarket Supervisor



One: the customer is always right...unless they`re blinking idiots, which they all are 99% of the time.

Two: always help a customer eventhough they are lazy

Three: always be nice and courteous to the customer...until they turn their back and then you can curse them and even possibly injure them. You would be surprised on how painful an orange to the back of the skull is

Four: make up the world`s stupidest excuses when there`s nothing in stock bec/ the customer`s don't know better

Five: although yelling at the customer is wrong, cut-eye never hurts anyone except the customer

Six: hide from all Asian customers bec/ they always assume that you speak Chinese

Seven: avoid all the other customers by pretending to speak only Chinese

Eight: when customers throw the money at you, feel free to throw their change back

Nine: if customers don`t like your attitude or service and they wish to speak to the one in charge tell them you're in charge

Ten: when customers take forever paying you bec/ they insist on paying with SMALL COINS, feel free to take forever to give them their change...IN COINS

Eleven: have fun playing with the security camera in the manager`s office, zooming in and out at the customers, watching their every move without their knowledge

Twelve: don't let other co-workers itimidate you, just get 'em fired

Thirteen: overcharging the occasional customers hurts no one except the customers you dislike

Fourteen: annoying customers may try to irritate you, but a loaded 12-gauge shotgun always comes in handy

Fifteen: when bored, grab a few brooms and the frozen grapefruit you left in the freezer and start up a floor hockey tournament in the storage room

Sixteen: being lazy is not a crime, even when you send the new employees to do all your hardwork

Seventeen: #11 is only wrong when you use the camera for horny misdeeds, but who says I do?

Eighteen: when co-workers bug you, just send them to do all the crappy jobs like cleaning the restrooms

Nineteen: ask all the teenage hoodlums for idees, and then reject them even if they are real!

Twenty: realized that working in a supermarket was the wrong career move