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DISCLAIMER:
This disclaimer does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog: don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; this disclaimer is subject to change without notice; text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to this disclaimer upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; this disclaimer is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; Do not remove this tag under penalty of law; Confined Space - Do Not Enter; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity disclaimer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; this disclaimer may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to buy; some assembly required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; this disclaimer was packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitised and sealed for your protection; do not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; call before you use this disclaimer; use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; disclaimer contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; smoking this disclaimer may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of this disclaimer; text is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no electrons were injured in preparing this disclaimer; no animals were used to test this disclaimer; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor; this disclaimer is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; this disclaimer is valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorised dealer; please remain seated until the bus has come to a complete stop; objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorised repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you,lighten up, get a life, and move on.

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