So you know I'm really bored when I start filking.  
But this one called to me, and no matter how hard I 
tried to tape it's little mouth shut, it just wouldn't
shut the Midway up.  I'm also seeing this as penance 
for my involvement, minor though it was, in that 
OUSFH incident.



The X-Files, re-written by Wild Kat
(to the tune of America, from West Side Story)



NUN 1: Last season I can't remember,
Why can't it just be November . . .

NUN 2: It's always just re-runs showing . . .
Always the Scullynemia growing . . .

NUN 3: And the RP blowing
NUN 4: And the tears come streaming
NUN 5: And the nuns all screaming

AUTUMN: We want new episodes, Carter!
For them we'll beg or steal or barter

ALL: I want to see some new  X-Files
OK by me to see X-Files
TV is free, so watch X-Files
We're on one knee for new X-Files

NUN 1: Looking at Scully is so nice,
But I've seen each old ep at least twice-
Even watched Ghost in the Machine!
NUN 3: I just cannot keep my thoughts clean!

ALL: Buildings go boom on the X-Files.
Tauruses zoom on the X-Files.
Man-eating Shrooms on the X-Files.
Dead in bathrooms on the X-Files!

NUN 2: In the summer we gave you space,
Now you seem to laugh in our face.

NUN 4: No sign of Scully's apartment,
No bad guys with foreign accents!

KITCHEN CREW : Life's not so bright without X-Files,
You know we will fight for our X-Files,
We'll be alright with new X-Files,
Which you must write for us X-Philes!

(Big Kitchen Crew dance number, each of them 
 brandishing potato peelers and Kevlar wimples.)

ALL : La, la, la, la, la, the X-Files
La, la, la, la, la, the X-Files
La, la, la, la, la, the X-Files
LA . . :The X-Files

LA . .: Here Nuns are free and we have pride
With Blessed Scully as our guide,
Free to wear all black if we choose,
Free to wear three-inch high heeled shoes.

ALL: We're losing time without X-Files,
We'll commit crimes without X-Files,
We'll soon wear lime without X-Files,
BRYN: I cannot rhyme without X-Files

(yet another musical interlude with much dancing)

ALL: Carter, in your game we're as pawns,
Waiting for new eps to come on.
But be careful with this long wait,
Soon, you'll find out it's you we hate . . .

(And more dancing, till the end!)

Yours in St. Scully,
Wild Kat
PS: TV is not in the Hotmail spell-checker.

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