“500 Miles” by...Toy Dolls?...some Scottish brothers...
(ed. note--corrected by Sister Jenna, it's the Proclaimers.)

High speed chase yeah and cops are closing in  
They stop the car and then a woman strangely dies 
Flash to agents stuck with terrorism grunt work
Mulder’s sullen and the saintly Scully sighs.

But on TV oh! Mulder spies an X-File
So they toss their case and head out on their own
Scully’s morgue-bound while our nosy pal Mulder
Tails the suspect, becomes a hostage, loses phone.  

And he will drive 500 miles
And then he’ll drive 500 more
Just to prevent Crump’s ear from exploding splat!  
Blood all over the door.

Da da messy (da da messy)
Da da speeding (da da speeding)
Mulder’s told by Crump to just shut up and drive.

Scully’s working yes quarantining the whole lab
Then she’s off to search the trailer for some clues
There’s a dead dog (aw!) and a deaf woman too
And a panel which suggests a government ruse.

And he will drive 500 miles
And then he’ll drive 500 more
Just to prevent Crump’s ear from exploding splat!  
Blood all over the door.

Da da decon (da da decon)
Da da dead birds (da da dead birds)
Scully’s getting closer to the answer now 

Mulder’s pissy yes trading insults with Crump
Trying to learn the evil cause of his ill health
Scully’s asking questions at the naval center
Says she’s FCC and tries for subtle stealth. 

Scully’s solved it yep she has a loose theory
About the array of antennas she has found
And she knows how she might save Mr. Crump’s life
Relieve the pressure caused by ELF wave/sound. 

And Mulder drove 500 miles
And Mulder drove 500 more
Just to reach Scully with her syringe and halt
A show of needless gore 

Da da too late (da da too late)
Da da ickfest (da da ickfest)
Now it’s time to go to DC and fess up

Kersh is not pleased (duh) -- calls Mulder a martyr
And makes a bill for Scully to pay
He tells her face up to the loss of the X-Files 
She stalks out but still manages to say:

Da da big piles (da da big piles)
Da da manure (da da manure)
Lines like that are what we love St. Scully for.

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