Enter stage left our HERO, no applause the sad sack was supposed to enter stage right (sigh) AHHH YES THE AUDIENCE HAS SEEN HIM (LOUD APPLAUSE, WHISTLES. STOMPING OF FEET HURRAH!!!!! OUR HERO THHHIITTT) Our boy being very shy tries to leave and gets hopelessly entangled in curtains and scenery. DOWN CURTAIN. Twenty minutes later our retarded boy enters stage right. Subdued applause. a snicker or two and the show begins. Second day at Ellsworth Elementary, Our HERO finds he already has a reputation as a nose pounder. This causes his chest to expand to its maximum a full two inches, Unfortunately fame has certain responsibilities such as fighting every asshole in the class. Our HERO battles bravely and desperately over the next week or two. Since he is unable to convince his mother he is sick and needs several weeks at home. So much for fame our HERO wins a few and loses a lot. This doesn't seem to matter too much I think as a whole our boy was given an E for effort and nobody was hurt much. One thing was bad the kids were kind of used to seeing a fight every day. So almost every day our HERO and Billy Bettridge were egged on to fight I guess because our first battle was considered a draw. Well Billy and our HERO damn well soon learned to pull punches and put on a show partly boxing, partly wrestling, This was probably the way phony pro wrestlers got started. We got so we enjoyed it as long as we sure didn't hurt each other. Of course there were times that a blow or wrestling hold would get out of hand then sometimes the battle became real, but not often the two were too evenly matched and there was no sense in pounding one another into a pudding for the dubious entertainment of their peers. This daily put op fight saved them fighting other guys who might beat the shit out of them. This was a good plus ,but it formed habits like not having sense enough to leave well enough alone and keep trying. More on this later when Gordy gets into the act. Another bad offshoot was our HERO kind of liked the notice he was getting and kept thinking up stunts to get more attention. This form of activity for the most part was frowned on by the teachers. Now in first grade in Wyoming Our HERO was introduced to a spanking machine in the principals office provided the infringement of the rules warranted it. Now unfortunately our HERO being retarded seemed to infringe fairly often he was once referred to as "that ornery little shit" The spanking machine was a cute little gadget a series of wooden paddles attached to a ring and turned by a crank the hapless culprit is forced tolean over a bench which positioned the target just right to be hit by each paddle as it came by. (this was for real Babs) but the worst was then you were given a note to take home where our HERO'S ass was tuned again. Our HERO being retarded always dutifully carried the dumb note home (sigh). Our HERO had already gained a little notice in that his chicken shit brother was to take him to the first day of school and introduce him to the teacher. Well the school was locked up when we got there and he didn't want to wait so he found a window unlocked in first grade room and shoved me in and told me too stay there until someone showed up. Some time later the teacher was startled to discover a scared little boy sitting at a desk with hands folded neatly. Little did she know it was in prayer. So began our HEROES introduction to the Wyoming school system, and except for a tender ass managed to pass and was removed to Denver. Sometime have me relate my adventures with my elder brothers. End of digression back to second grade at Ellsworth. I think I mentioned our HERO kind of liked showing off or whatever it took to gain attention, but somebody always squealed and our boy was usually in deep shit. However there was no whipping machine in Colorado which our retard noticed right off. Instead you were given sentences to write. Such as I will not pull Rowenas hair. A misdemeanor of this type usually translated into one or two hundred sentences. Getting caught fighting on school three to five depending on the teachers exasperation at the time. Now the time our Hero and Pete Lynch tied a kid named Frank upside down to the schools chain link fence by his shoe laces cause he was a snitch. Well he wasn't missed for a bit, but finally the teacher asked " anyone know where Frank is" and immediately a small feminine voice spoke up "oh Lewie and Paul tied him to the fence " My goodness that caused quite a reaction the whole class and teacher went to the rescue. now it appears it is not considered too healthy to hang by your feet for long periods of time uhh actually old Frank wasn't in that great of shape. Our HERO and PETE found themselves in a very unfriendly environment. Whoo I can't remember how many sentences for that plus getting sent home with a note to the usual reception. It was about this time our HERO got friendly with the Kuhn sisters who lived two door from him. At this time our HERO was very contemptuous of the feminine gender, but any old port in a storm and three people can write an awful lot more sentences in a lot less time. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. In time this friendship will affect our HERO'S life drastically and may in a way contributed to the death of a sweet little girl, but our HERO had a lot of help with an awful lot of sentence writing over the next three years. Only in higher grades it became a great many copies of the definition of work which at that time was the longest in the dictionary. To be continued maybe?
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