Q. If Bill and Hillary Cllinton were on a sinking ship, who would be saved?
A. The United States.
Mother Teresa is wandering around heaven one beautiful day when seh sees Princess Diana. I always admired her, Mother Teresa thinks to herself. She was good to those less fortunate.
Then she notices that Diana's halo is much bigger than hers. While i admire the pricess, I have done much more than she for the less fortunate, she thinks to herself. So she finds Saint Peter and asks him why Diana's halo is so much bigger than her own.
"That's not a halo," says Saint Peter. "That's a steering wheel."
A woman is spring-cleanin the closet in her 13-year old son's room when she finds an S&M magazine. She confiscates the smut and shows it to her husband when he gets home from work.
"Look what i found in his room!" she screams, on the verge of tears. "What are we going to do about this?"
"Well," the dad says, "I dont think we should spank him."
