History
Motto:FABRICATI DIEM PVNC
The Watch is basically Ankh-Morpork's police force. It traditionally consisted of: The Day and Night Watches, the general police for the assigned hours. The Palace Guard do precisely that, and not much else. And the now defunct Cable Street Particulars, who were government "intelligence gatherers". It is presumed the latter were disposed of as the Patrician found his own means more reliable.
Until recently the Day and Night Watch's had fallen into disarray due to the rule of Patrician leaving little need for effective lawmen. The arrival of Carrot Ironfoundersson and a 'dirty great big dragon' began the formation of the modern Watch.
In the early Discworld novels the Night Watch was a group of four men at one station, one of which had just died It soon grew to Fifty-six and several older stations were reopened to accommodate them. The Day and Night Watches were merged at this point, under the control of Commander Sir Samuel Vimes.
To date, the Watch is still growing. It's head office is in Pseudopolis Yard, donated by Lady Sybil Ramkin. It now recruits from all racial and ethnic groups and incorporates both a Forensic Alchemy Laboratory to aid in gathering evidence and a full time physician.
The latest additions to the Watch are the traffic laws and the Clacks. Those officers on traffic duty book cart drivers for speeding, unregistered carts, etc. A few problems were encountered during the early days. Watch members clamping not only carts, but horses, buildings, etc.
The "Clacks" are an ever-spreading series of towers being set up slowly, disc-wide. By use of white paddles, reflective paddles or lanterns, a coded morse-like message can be sent. Either city-wide in moments, or intercontinental in days. Much faster than surface mail. This is used by the Watch to report incidents, call for backup, etc.
In The Fifth Elephant, brief mention is made of a River Watch being set up. Given the properties of the River Ankh, this seems a strange venture, as it would be quicker to get out of the boat and chase any criminals down the river by foot.
'By the time I joined the Watch, it was under full swing. More'n a hundred members from all over. The weird part is once someone joins the Watch, all their prejudice seems to either disappear or hide. It doesn't do you much good to lash out at someone who you might be depending on to save your arse in a week."
Watch...beings of note
The Duke of Ankh-Morpork
Commander of the Watch, Sir Samuel Vimes
'A skinny, unshaven collection of bad habits marinated in alcohol.' By his own account. When first encountered, he was Captain of the Night Watch. Since then he has saved the city from Dragons (Dracos Nobilis), Assassins and more often than not, itself. This has earned him the rank of Commander, accompanied by a Knighthood.
His marriage to Lady Sybil Ramkin gave him the title of Duke of Ankh-Morpork. He hates all these titles, apart form Commander, but they seem to gravitate to him. Either that or the Patrician just does it to annoy him. Since his marriage, he has given up drinking and started smoking cigars. He is also expecting his first child.
'Really not that bad. He's a great copper, one of the best. A bit tetchy about some things, and very sceptical, but still…',
Captain Carrot Ironfoudersson
Named because of his shape, not his red hair. Six foot six with muscles everywhere. Keeps his armour well polished. He has a crown shaped birthmark on his shoulder. Simple, not to be confused with stupid. He has an undeniable charisma, people can't help but like him. He has a huge civic pride and is one of the few Watchmen to know the city ordinances almost by heart. He also knows almost all of Ankh-Morporks one million citizens to some degree.He is an adopted Dwarf, having been found in the woods. His adoptive parents arranged for him to join the Night Watch around the age of sixteen, to "make a man of him" as it were. The only item he has of his true parents, is a totally not magical sword. He is currently in a rewarding relationship with Corporal Angua Von Uberwald.
'Well, I mean. You can't help but like Captain Carrot. Jus' somethin' about 'im. He's always there when you need 'im and he's got a good set of morals. Rare thing in this city.'
Sergeant Frederick Colon
Often described as 'One of natures Sergeants'. More often described as 'That fat old copper'. He is believed to be around the sixty mark. His large round physique is often seen outside Morporks varied eateries gathering the odd meal gratis. His breastplate has a sturdy musculature embossed on it, his stomach hangs out under it slightly.
He is married , and although he works nights and his wife during the day, it is assumed they do spend some time together during their thirty year marriage as they have three children. He has been a member of the Watch for thirty years, before this he was a Sergeant in a city army. Which city has not been revealed.
Most recently Fred was promoted to Captain during the absence of both Commander Vimes and Captain Carrot during The Fifth Elephant. The Patrician did this with much hesitation, despite Colon's protests and it is likely that upon Vimes return Colon was returned to the more comfortable/suitable rank of Sergeant.
'Colon? Yeah, he's OK. As long as he doesn't get forced to think too much. Goes a bit power crazy...'
Corporal Cecil Wormsborough St John Nobbs
AKA:Nobby Nobbs
The only citizen of Morpork with a certificate signed by the Patrician to certify that he is, in fact, human. Apparently he resembles a chimpanzee to some extent. Nobby stands at about four foot tall with the muscle tone of an elastic band. He has an impressive collection of boils and talks out of the corner of his mouth, usually because he has a dog-end hanging from the other side.
Nobby has a penchant for minor theft. He often regales recruits with tales of his days in the army. These usually come along the lines of 'And the rings come off better a couple of days after the battle. In the Watch, he is in charge of the petty cash. The reason behind this being that at least that way he doesn't have to sneak, and the responsibility results in him not taking as much.
He currently lives in the new Watchhouse in Pseudopolis Yard. Off duty he reads 'Bows and Ammo' magazine, adding to his already amazing knowledge of devices of war. He is also a member of the Folk Dancing and Song Club, of which little is known. Recently, Nobby seems have taken a liking to wearing women's clothing. If it is required for duty, he will be the first to volunteer.
'My kind of human Nobby. If 'e really is human. Just don't lend 'im money. Or put him on the clean up crew.'
Sergeant Angua Von Uberwald
The youngest daughter of Baron Von Uberwald of Uberwald. To put it bluntly, a werewolf. Her human state is that of a beautiful woman with ashen-blonde hair. Her wolf state is often described as a Klatchian Wolfhound with an ashen-blonde coat. No person has seen the state in between. Or at least told about it. For more on werewolves, see the Disc page.
Angua fled her home of Uberwald to escape her tyrannical and barking mad (pun intended) brother Wolfgang. She is currently in a rewarding relationship with Captain Carrot. She lives in Mrs.Cake's boarding house, and through the people there, has many contacts in the mortally challenged community.
'She's alright as long as you stay on 'er good side. And no dog jokes. Some of the fellers still wear silver chains, just in case...'
Sergeant Detritus
A troll. The first troll recruited by the Watch. Knuckles dragging, he is described as rangy rather than huge.
Detritus has seen many jobs in Ankh-Morpork. Amongst these are bouncer, splatter, bodyguard and a brief stint around the slaughterhouses before he joined the Watch on the advice of his girlfriend, Ruby. He wears a specially designed helmet for cooling his brain (trolls' silicon brains slow down in heat, thus the apparent stupidity of most of Morpork's trolls) made for him by the late Acting-Constable Cuddy.
'Salt of the Disc. Well some minerals anyway. Amazin' how quick he picked up the whole copperin' job. No-one calls 'im thick any more. At least not within earshot.'
Corporal Cheery Littlebottom
AKA: Cheri Littlebottom
A dwarf . A female dwarf. Possibly the first outwardly declared dwarf in history. Definitely in Ankh-Morpork. Also a damn fine Forensic Alchemist.
First encountered in Feet of Clay, Cheery decided to embrace her true gender, and in doing so, changed her name to Cheri, and began to wear make-up, but didn't go so far as to even contemplate changing her beard.
Her outspoken femininity has had quite an effect on Ankh-Morpork's dwarf community. This has stirred a lot of trouble with the more traditional dwarfs who well, are traditional, which could be confused for fanatical.
'If yer want evidence, she's yer Dwarf. Best Forensic we got. Still, don't take her out to a Dwarf bar, they're not used to her yet.'
Constable Reginald Shoe
AKA: Reg Shoe
A zombie. Before joining the Watch he was head of the Fresh Start Club. Presumably he still runs it in his spare time. He looks, well… dead. Even his Watch uniform looks haggard, and he hasn't been in it that long. He has varied lengths of cord holding on varied appendages and digits. Strangely he is very handy with a needle and thread.
His work with the Fresh Start Club has honed his skills as a passive political activist. He seems to have quieted down since he joined the watch, but it would still be advised to watch how you use the word 'dead' in his presence. It could save you a few hours. It is unclear what Reg did previous to his death. He doesn't say and no-one asks him. 'Reg? Honest as the day is long. Just don't talk ethics or politics with 'im unless yer got a day or two spare. The undead don't get hoarse.'
Constable Visit the Infidel with Explanatory Pamphlets
AKA: Visit, Washpot
One of the new wave of Omnians, Constable Visit entered the Watch with good intentions. Like all Omnians, he wanted to spread the word of the great god Om. Unfortunately, over a year of people constantly refusing to talk to him, or saying 'Oh yes, I just, er, haven't gotten around to reading those pamphlets yet…' has lead him to depression. He has been known to cry when someone shows even semi-sincere interest in his religious views.
Currently, Visit has taken to caring for the Watch's courier pigeons. He feels very at ease around them and has even given them names from the book of Om.
'Washpot' is a derogatory name for Visit that has almost gone out of use. But not quite. Nobby seems to prefer derogatory terms for anything to the real name.
'Washpo...Constable Visit is a good friend. I always accept his pamphlets. Always runnin' out o' paper in the john.'
Constable Dorfl
A golem. The only golem in Ankh-Morpork to have free will. This is due to the evens chronicled in Feet of Clay. His personality is still undefined, as he comes to grips with the concept of free will. His goal is to save up to buy other golems from their current masters, and give them free will as well.
This has caused some concern amongst the city. Many of the citizens are frightened by this concept, the reasons for this are explained in detail here.
'Dorfl scares me a little. I keep thinkin' he's gonna step on me. That an' he's still figurin' out his morals an' such. I wouldn't want to be around when he figures out what angry is.'
Constable Cornice Overlooking Broadway
A gargoyle. As noted elsewhere, gargoyles are named after the place they usually occupy. So Cornice is usually found overlooking Broadway. Like many gargoyles, Cornice has a pipe in it's mouth, and because of this has a rather severe speech impediment.'Can't really talk to gargoyles long meself. I find myself tryin' to talk without closin' my mouth. Brilliant on the clacks though.'
Constable Bluejohn
A troll. A big troll. Even by troll standards. Bluejohn was recruited into the city militia during the events of Men At Arms. After it disbanded, he obviously decided to stay.
Bluejohn has been described as a crowd. During riot situations, other Watchmen can occaisionally be seen peering out from behind him.
'He's an old friend of mine is Bluejohn. Always careful where he steps. Very popular with the men during riots too.'
Constable Ping
One of the Watch's newest recruits. A young Auriental (from the Counterweight Continent). Presumably, his parents moved to Morpork recently. Seems to be mainly concerned with desk work.
'I don't think I've seen 'im anywhere but behind a desk. Almost as good at the paperwork as Constable Visit.'
Constable Buggy Swires
A gnome. A new recruit. That's about all that can be said really.
'I think I knew his parents. Lots of gnomes get named Swires. Short fuses they have on 'em too.'
Sergeant Stronginthearm
A dwarf. Not a lot more can be said at the present moment.
'Yup. A dwarf. Definitely. With a name like that you'd expect per'aps a monkey? Oh bugger...'
Constable Hacknee
Another dwarf. Given a generic reference but not much else.
'Nice enough feller. If he is a feller. Who can tell with dwarfs?'
Silas Cumberbatch
Once the town crier of Ankh-Morpork, now a Watchman. Speaks unnecessarily loudly.
'Cumberbatch? Where? I'm getting outta here.'
Igor
The Watch's physician. The son of one of the many Igors of Uberwald. He has maintained the amazing surgical skill of his fellow Igors, but does not have the lisp. Although a drawback in Uberwald terms, it can only help in Ankh-Morpork. He also refuses to call any man 'master'. He was presented to Commander Vimes in the hope that the Watch could put some sense into him.
Igor is experimenting with growing body parts artificially. He says it'll make things so much easier than rooting around in graveyards…
'That Igor lad's amazin'! Break an arm and somehow he can have it healed perfectly in a week. Just don't ask what he keeps in them jars.'
Acting-Constable Cuddy (Deceased)
Cuddy's brief stint in the Watch is detailed in Men At Arms. A good friend of then Constable Detritus (now a Sergeant).
'Never knew Cuddy, but every year you can count on Detritus visiting his grave.'
Sergeant Kepple (Deceased)
The head of the Night Watch when Commander Vimes first joined. After his retirement, he came back on the Watchhouse to make sure everything was going smoothly. Then to make the tea… It wasn't until after his death that Vimes realised that no-one knew where he lived, if he had a family, etc.
'Vimes always talks about Kepple when the job gets him down. Colon never even mentions 'im.'
Herbert 'Leggy' Gaskin (Deceased)
One of the four Watchmen before Carrot arrived. In fact it was Gaskin's death that opened a place for Carrot.
'Who?'
Numerous other citizens were recruited by (then Corporal) Carrot into the Ankh-Morpork Citizens Militia. After it's disbanding, some continued to serve the city as members of the Watch, such as Bluejohn. Some didn't, such as Coalface. It is not entirely clear who did and who didn't, but here is a list of the named Militia members from Men At Arms.