1. Teppicymon XXVIII
Who could ask for more than a suave, debonair assassin who dresses entirely in black? Me. And I got it in (P)Teppic. He’s a suave, debonair assassin with an aversion to killing people, a helping nature, and the assertiveness needed to (usually) get what he wants. The fact that he’s the heir to the Djelibeybian throne doesn’t hurt much, either. Of course, my favourite thing about Tep is the fact that he didn’t want to be pharaoh.
"Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid."

~!Mild Moving Pictures spoiler!~
2. Ponder Stibbons
He’s a cutie. A very abused cutie. An intelligent, misunderstood, abused cutie. Being the only sane wizard left at Unseen U following the arrival of Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, Ponder is often left trying to explain his theories about thaumaturgics, parallel dimensions, and other things that are way advanced to be introduced on the Discworld to a large collection of loonies. Loonies with seniority. Not only has he gone through a great deal of physical pain, as well – loosing a piece of his ear, being squashed by a 50-foot creature from the Dungeon Dimensions, getting beaten up regularly for being a nerd - no one, save the wonderful, brilliant, and observant Paul Kidby, draws him right. Don’t pay attention to the round, bland little character in “Soul Music” or the thin, psychotic, drug abuser in the second game. These are NOT Ponder Stibbons.
"I think [the reason I lack the stuff of heroes is] because I've got an active imagination."

~!Mild Guards! Guards! spoiler!~
3. Samuel Vimes (Hebrew: “Asked of god.”)
Sharp and quick witted, though not in the traditional book smart sense, per sey, Commander Vimes has more than his share of honour and charity. He notices the slightest things and has timing down like clockwork when it comes to letting on to what he knows, and his insults are oftentimes so subtle and intellectual that one must reread them to catch that the comments were even intended to be put downs. Another character who has been forced to accept a social status that he feels is far too dignified for him, Vimes is loyal to his friends (or would be if he could _make_ any). He has conquered the battle with the bottle and drug himself out of his own personal hell, with the help of his loving wife, who has done wonders for him, and has earned the respect of at least his fellow guard members. Now if we can just get him away from the cigars...
"Dark sarcasm ought to be taught in schools."

And the rest, in alphabetical order.

Benedick (English: "A variant of Benedict, meaning blessed")
“...Till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God.” And with those words, Benedick, the cynical anti-romantic of Much Ado About Nothing, won me over. Just the fact that these are the qualities he is looking for (except perhaps the rich and fair dealies) is plenty for me, but he's also witty, sarcastic, slightly bitter, and the most realistic representation of what I would want in a partner, if I absolutely had to have one. I could be very happy with a Benedick of my own. Especially if he looks like Kenneth Branagh.
"May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool."
Thanks to Kat for not clawing my eyes out for glomping Ben.

Colonel Christopher Brandon (Greek: "The patron saint of travelers")
Mr. Darcy may be the paragon of sexxy haughtiness, but Colonel Brandon is your man if you prefer sweet, self-sacrificing men who aren't overly prideful and/or prejudiced. Poor Brandon gets denied happiness time and time again, but he continues to dote, dote in idolatry (erm... wrong author...) and does everything he can to protect those he loves. It took me a long time to warm up to Darcy, even after I knew the entire story, but I adored Colonel Brandon almost from his first introduction, and I was instantly jealous of Willoughby for Brandon's sake...which is kind of dumb, considering I want Brandon to myself. But more than that, I want him to be happy.
The other reason Brandon is superior to Darcy is he's not covered in anywhere NEAR as much fangirl residue. That stuff's incredibly pervasive and not at all pleasant.
"Give me an occupation, Miss Dashwood, or I shall run mad."

Anthony Crowley (Latin: "Inestimable, priceless one.")
How?! How in the world did I fall for the demon? So he's a very…GOOD demon (don't tell the boys downstairs I said so, though…), but still. And considering the fact that he's not all that much different from Aziraphale and I still wound up preferring him (especially when Aziraphale likes books and old music and such…), I have to wonder about myself. I guess it's just the thought of a supposed "bad boy" being just an old softie (well…). But still. How do I wind up with Crowleys and Vlads and Ottos while simultaneously glomping the Thomases and Datas and Galahads for their naïveté? So anyhow, Crowley's this demon, right? The serpent from the Garden of Eden, in fact. And he's been living on earth since then. He's supposed to play a fairly large role in Armageddon. But, see, he's come to like humans and their world AND his angelic counterpart, Aziraphale. Mind you, he's not completely useless - he manages to spread a few minor inconveniences that slowly taint the souls of all. But in ANYcase, Crowley has decided to do everything in his power (to a certain extent - despite popular belief, the Big Boys don't support insubordination. At least not among Tartarus' underlings) to prevent the destruction of humanity while not calling attention to the fact that he is doing so. Why, though? Why does that make me love him?
"You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don't bother to answer. If we could understand, we wouldn't be us."

Fitzwilliam Darcy (His mother's maiden name, I believe)
It took me a long time to warm up to Mr. Darcy, but you can only see the fourth episode so many times before you begin to melt at the thought of such a dashing man. Only Xanatos' proposal was better than Darcy's. He's definitely a proper British gentleman, and his wealth is matched only by his generosity. Many thanks to Lily for introducing me to him ^_^
"I will never understand why you are always in a rage to approve of everything and everyone that you meet."

Lestat de Lioncourt (I honestly have no idea. At all.)
I very much loved Lestat in the film version of Interview, but it was a platonic love. It wasn’t until I read The Vampire Lestat that I fell madly in love with him. I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for those who are misunderstood by their peers, and the discrepancies between Louis’ portrayal of him and what he tells us of himself indicates that he is just such a character. Either that, or he’s a bloody good con artist, which I also have a Thing for. The Vampire Lestat shows a curious, passionate, even compassionate vampire who grabbed me and held on tight.
"Beauty is beauty where you find it."

Remus Lupin (Latin: ”speedy, quick”)
He’s responsible, he’s reasonable, he’s really bloody sweet, and he’s got a dark, dangerous side. What more could I want? Not a lot. Maybe a few less fan femmes to compete with. And seriously now, are there no better pictures out there?
"I’d consider you a fool if you weren’t [scared]."

Vlad de Magpyr (Russian: “Prince”)
Like Otto West, I haven’t the faintest idea why I am so intrigued by this guy. He is morally corrupt, dangerous, and one of the more captivating of all of Terry Pratchett’s characters. Though I knew he was evil and bad and just generally a not-nice person, I found myself almost rooting for him at times. Pratchett has this *power* in his writing that transcends the normal emotional involvement, using characters to mesmerize the reader in the same way that they mesmerize other characters.
"Most people put up with most things."

Private/Corporal Maladict (Um... “Maledict” means “accursed” or “to curse.” Obviously that’s where Pratchett got the name from. Neat name, though.)
Monstrous Regiment is one of my absolute favourite Discworld books (and therefore one of my all-time favourite books of any kind), so it should come as no surprise that one of the characters would find his way into my harem. Of course it would be the vampire, though, wouldn’t it? It really must be the nature of Pratchett’s vampires – elegance, obsessive behaviour, and snarky, sarcastic sense of humour – that makes me like them so much, because it’s certainly not a vampire fetish. An interest in vampire stories, perhaps, but not a fetish. In any case, Maladict is very intelligent and has a very dry sense of humour. By the time the regiment left Plotz, I already had my favourite character, but I resisted adding him to my harem until I had read the book a second time. I’m relatively sure the clincher for me was the way he slowly went batty after the coffee disappeared – I go in for that kind of pathos.
"Good evening, gentleman! Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violence does not come easily to me. It’s not tearing your throats out that doesn’t come easily to me. Please don’t make it any harder."

Quincey P. Morris (Old-French: “From the place owned by the fifth son; Fifth. Derived from Roman clan name.”)
Now this is a truly baffling phenomenon. Alright, we have a cast of almost entirely British characters that is set primarily in England, and I fall for the American. A fairly strong American adventurer in a cast of doctors, solicitors (well, one), and...another well-educated, quiet British character, at that. How...atypical. Maybe I just like things that seem exotic and Mr. Morris, being an American in a British book, is somehow presented as exotic from the author’s/characters’ viewpoint. Or maybe it’s because he’s from Texas. I do so miss it there… He’s kind, considerate, a perfect gentleman, and a quick-thinking, shrewd strategist, even if this is the result of many years of hunting. And, hey, it’s always a good idea to keep an experienced vampire slayer around when you’ve got a vampire in your harem, even if it does also include an assassin/deity, two wizards, and Commander Samuel Vimes.
"Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that’s rarer than a lover; it’s more unselfish anyhow."

Robert O’Rourke (English: “bright fame“)
A Mark Darcy prototype who’s a doctor in a third-world country rather than a barrister in London. And he employs sarcasm more often than Mark did, which is always awesome. Besides, who could resist his gentlemanly behaviour with the whole Oliver situation?
"[O'Rourke's] shirt was rolled up over his forearms. His arms and wrists were strong, adult-looking. I had never really thought about wrists before, but suddenly these seemed like the most beautiful wrists I had ever seen, such strong wrists, such manly wrists, such brave wrists, such wondrous wrists."