Helga

Full Name: Helga Geraldine Pataki
Age: 9
Occupation: 4th grade student at PS 118, poet
Hobbies: Writing obsessive poetry about Arnold, being as evil as possible to Arnold
Voice: Francesca Smith

All the days of my week,
I write the name I dare not speak.
The boy with the cornflower hair,
My beloved, and my despair.
~Helga G. Pataki

The tormented soul of Nickelodeon's "Hey Arnold!", Helga is head over heels in love with the boy, and has been since she was three. The unfortunate thing is that, however expressive and beautiful her poetry is, Helga doesn't know how to tell him. She has tried, many times, but something always intervenes, be it nature, Brainy (Craig Bartlett), Phoebe (Andie McAfee), or her own conscious. Rather than just tell him, she finds it easier to pick on him. In fact, she can be down right sordid.

Her dad is Big Bob Pataki (Maurice LaMarche), the Beeper King, who is bent on creating a world in which everyone owns at least one beeper. Her mom, Miriam (voiced by Kath Soucie), is totally absent-minded and gloomy. She mopes around the house mumbling all day. Helga has, and will forever live in her sister, Olga (Nika Futterman)'s, shadow. Olga rarely shows up, as she is off at college, but her name pops up a lot.

Helga is the most complex character I believe was ever created. She has so many totally opposite personalities. She loves Arnold, yet she hates him. She uses Phoebe, yet she truly values their friendship. Her realistic view of the world makes her all the closer to me. She realizes that most of the world is not quite as sharp-witted as she, and is easily agitated by their incomprehension of the simplest things. The most commonly used words in her vocabulary are "criminey", "doi", and "duh". Hats off to Craig Bartlett for creating such a wonderful personality!

Helga can usually be found playing baseball or football with the guys. She totally uses and neglects her best, and only, friend, Phoebe Heyerdahl. She generally wears a pink dress over a white shirt, pink shoes, and a pink bow in her hair that is in pigtails. I never would have put a character like her in pink.

Trivia:
~She is left-handed.
~Four people know she likes Arnold: Brainy, Patty, Phoebe, and Lila.
~Had a shrine to Arnold in her closet made of bubble gum, but her mom threw it away.
~Made a new one out of trash.
~Is terrified of rats.
~Played opposite Arnold in Romeo and Juliet and kissed him for 15 seconds.
~Loves watching wrestling.
~Has a German doll that says "Helga's Room" on her door.
~She keeps a picture of the football head in her shirt so she may pull it out and swoon when no one is looking.
~Once thought she had "monkeynucleosis".
~Has fallen through Arnold's roof four times.
~Played the tube in a claymation short called "The Arnold Waltz"

The poem she wrote in "Helga's Parrot":
Arnold, my love, my sultry preteen,
Why must I hold you only whilst I dream?
Will I be forever enslaved by your spell?
Why must I worship you and never ever tell?

Arnold, you make my girlhood tremble,
My senses all go wacky.
Some day I'll tell the world, my love,
Or my name's not Helga G. Pataki.

Thanks to The Unofficial Hey Arnold Site for the pictures.

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