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Hope
Hope
Hope is a four letter word that people keep tossing at me
Like it is something tangible; something I can grasp
When in this black hole, this vacuum, hope is sucked dry
A life without pain is unattainable; the pain is alive
Creeping through my mind like an ivy, blind
Pain is the tangible thing that in my life reigns

Artemis' Home Page

Visions of Death
Mood:  sad
Visions of Death

Visions of my death will not cease
Thoughts of a knife gleaming in the dim light
Thoughts of my life and my never ending plight
Madness reigns in my feeble brain
Sanity’s realm is pursued in vain
Images deadly possess my thoughts
Gleaming knife making scarlet marks
Death is welcomed; pain has ceased

Yours
Mood:  amorous
The air just got knocked out of me.
With the click of the mouse,
You are gone.
For how long this time,
Will you be there tomorrow
Or will I suffer for days?
The anxiety of not knowing
The anticipation of bliss
Come to me love.
I’ll do whatever you want.
I’ll be whatever you need.
I am yours.

Silently
Mood:  sad
Silently

Silently I watch the day
Go by in gentle dismay
Filled with sorrow without reason
Perhaps it is my own heart’s treason
Nowhere to turn to relieve my burden
So I silently sit watching the day’s curtain
Release of the pain is what I desire
Rage kindles an internal fire
Inside it stays as I wait
Silently sitting trying not to break

Fountains
Mood:  sad
Fountains

Visions of fountains red
Flowing from wrists of one who’s dead
Inside there is no soul
Only a void that can’t be made whole
Draining the life from one
Who is emotionless
Death to the one whose life is useless

The Knot
Mood:  sad
The Knot

The knot is there
The hideous knot I can’t bare
Bringing its unwelcomed pain
Spreading through, corrupting my brain
Origin of my depression
Stays without invitation

What will I do to ease the pain?
Drink so much I forget my name
Or slice my wrists till blood is flowing
Death is knocking and I’m not ignoring
Will this be my final day
Or will salvation come my way?

Abandoned
Mood:  sad
Abandoned

You are supposed to be there
When I am in pain
When the ache in my soul
Is more than I can contain
You pushed me away
I have no where to go
Visions of the knife gleaming
Visions of red dripping
Tears that won’t come
Replaced by blood atone

Obsession
Mood:  sad
Obsession

Obsession taking over
Bitter-sweet obsession
Waiting, always waiting
For little bits of heaven
Waiting, always waiting
To get my fix
Hell is where I am
When waiting for you
Obsession has taken me

Unheard
Mood:  irritated
Unheard

Down I go through the spiral
Dizzy and alone always alone
Wanting to scream
Voice unheard
Don’t want to be saved
Those who would save me
Will not hear me
Voice unheard

Serrated
Mood:  don't ask
Serrated

Serrated flash of success red
No more failed slashes dull
I’ve found the method for release
Depression and anger will not rule

Numb
Numb

Where did the numbness go?
I do not want the emotions I feel
Neither happiness nor depression
They only cause confusion
With numbness everything is clear
Black and white
Give me back my icy heart and frozen soul
I’ll find solace there

Deal
Mood:  irritated
Deal

This is as good as it gets
To cut is to cope
To be numb is to feel
Meds will not bring me back
I don’t want to go
This is who I am now
So just deal

The Storm
Mood:  cheeky
The Storm

Storm is coming; hear it thunder
Lightning strikes; see its wonder
Warm wind blasts; I begin to sway
Clouds are billowing; no sun’s ray
Umbrella opens; protection needed
Storm rages; I have ceded
Rain gushes; I feel its rhythm
The storm is over and the sun has risen.

The Stranger I've Become
Mood:  sad
Stranger

I do not like this stranger that I have become.
I know that you don’t either.
The person you love doesn’t exist anymore.
She is even more of a stranger.
At times I am able to play the role
By reflecting what I know
you want to see.
But it takes a lot out of me,
And I’ve run out of energy.
It’s harder and harder to conjure her.
I feel I have no emotion, no hope, no soul.
I don’t know why you stay.
I won’t blame you for going away.
You’re living with an empty shell.
You might as well be living in hell.
You don’t have to join me.

Satisfaction
Mood:  irritated
Satisfaction

Satisfaction, please come to me.
Let me lay satiated in your arms.
Instead of always waiting for you
With Disappointment as your substitute.

Sanity
Mood:  cheeky
Sanity

Sanity, you elusive devil,
Where were you when I need you?
Today at work you would
Have been quite useful.
When my daughter comes home from school,
Man, will I need you.
But will you come?
No, not you.
You'll be entertaining someone else.

Irritable
Mood:  irritated
Irritable

I feel the growing electricity of irritability
I feel it running down my spine, through my arms,
Up my throat, out my tongue
I try to hold it in so my lightning does not strike
So it just bounces around demolishing all that is good.

The Fight in Me
The Fight in Me

Black wolf chasing me
With long fangs of white
Dark wolf chasing me
To tear my world apart

Black wolf chasing me
I run with all my might
Dark wolf chasing me
To tear out my heart

Black wolf catches me
Too tired to run on
Dark wolf catches me
The fight in me is done.