Taking Me allThis
Tonight I watched The Ladykillers with James. It was really good! It reminded me a bit of Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? with the whole laid back southern and rural atmosphere. But Oh Brother definetly takes the cake in comparison. They both also follow an antiquated theme that I read a lot in English class, the comedy. This kind of comedy normally ends often in ironic tragedy. Now, why exactly is that called a comedy? No idea! Tom Hanks was superb as the head hauncho professor. He had a wheezy, kind of pompous laugh he did often and it makes me smile just thinking about it. James and I went to Outback after that. I got really spicy shrimp. I didn't know they were that spicy! The flavors there were so strong, from the spicy shrimp to the radically garlicky Caesar salad. But I did love the grilled zuchinni and pineapple that went along with my shrimp! I brought a lot of it home, hoping that someone could make a meal out of it. Waste not, want not!

2nd day on Zoloft. Switching medication is an even more terrible feeling than complete withdrawl from one medicine. I thought it would be a similar feeling, but its a complete turn around. Now I have two anti-depressants in my system instead of none. I have the same physical effects, dizzyness, mind numbing headaches,insomnia and tiredness, but there is just something else there that I can't put my finger on. It's not a physical side effect, it's something in this head of mine, almost a cloudy blur. I do recognise I am very frightened of Zoloft and it could just be my nerves. It could numb me and put me into a sedative-like state. I often think that when I am saddened and tourtured mentally, my creative side takes complete control and I blossom with imagination and zest. On the other hand, when I am overly-medicated, I don't feel content. I am happy to an extent, but I don't believe I am real. I just function. Believe me, I function appropriately, I'm dilligent, patient and happy, but not satisfied. I often missed my creative spark, it was what separated me from the masses. I guess nothing is what it seems.

I am not my own reality.