POETRY
That's right. My poetry.
I've been through a ton of shit in life, so if something seems 'dark', suck it up buttercups.
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It's threatening to leave me,
Forever extinguish the ties it made with me.
It cries out when I'm sleeping,
Bleeds tears of anguish as I dream of fields and sun.
What I refuse to believe it lives our each day.
Each scene beating on it a mockery.
It knows how things should be.
It sees behing veils and smoke,
Years for it,
Hungers.
It screams out for you
Claws at me to get at you.
My heart, it bleeds.
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He looked at me,
So helpless,
The words on his lips empty and barren, unable to be uttered.
I tried to free him of his burden,
Cried so hard when all my efforts met with no good consequences.
Held his hand, when both of us were caught in darkness…
He was so cold, unmoved by my gestures toward him.
I feel now, once he was lost, that I should have joined him-
Should have cast away the shell that held me here so steadfastly…
But instead. I’m here. Alone. Cold. Afraid. Afraid to touch.
Afraid to love.
Afraid to live.
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Everywhere I hear them,
Hear them call me,
Hear them plead to me,
The looks in their eyes when mine meets theirs,
Tears me apart, Juts into my soul.
I march past them,
Eyes striving not to see,
Ears straining to block out the pleas.
Some snap,
I can't snap,
Won't snap, need to go,
Need to keep my mind intact
But all this blood and killing,
Is getting to my head
Each scream I hear
Drives me closer to my end.
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Death, the ever present soldier on the battle field,
Picking up the remains of tattered lives,
Pondering over those who had wives.
Why would one so full lead a life so grim?
When the world offers so much more,
More than the eye can see,
Yet he picks this life,
Picking up after others mistakes,
A wide grin on his face, rough tongue sliding over dry lips.
Head cocks at every cry,
Wondering greedily if this one will die.
Bone dried hands rub together in anticipation,
Eyeless sockets deepen their brood when the life lives on.
But a soft cackle can be heard,
For life does not go on,
And one day,
His hands will wrap 'round the throat of those who have lived,
And squeeze.
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Everything that you mean to me,
Can not be embodied in mere words,
The fleeting letters, which hold meaning so easily forgot
Images come to mind;
Fire; dancing, greeting you like a lover long lost,
You keep me warm on the coldest days,
And in good nature on the worst
The alluring joker who fools with your heart
A smile; the toothy reminder that you are everything,
The flash of quick and biting humor,
The bringer of soul lifting gifts.
The balm to the wounds of ones heart
Rose; that which brings joy and pain at once,
A quick prick of the thorn drawing bloody,
The velvety petal that brushes past lips,
Leaving such a longing that it breaks my heart
One image can’t seem to stay in my mind,
My heart and soul steal the images for their own device,
You, and me together at last,
No longer the dancers in some insane dance
Able to be together,
No strings to pull,
No barriers to break,
Finally coming to a rest in each others arms,
That one embrace speaking a million words,
Not more need be said
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Why, with each passing minute,
Does your love tear at my heart,
Rip my soul apart?
I wait,
Each agonizing minute passing,
But you’re still not in my reach.
The hours seem like days,
A never ending time,
In which I slowly break.
Tears threaten to fall,
Days passing like nothing,
My head is pounding.
Where are you,
You, the one I love,
When I need you the most?
Please,
Come back to me,
Help me heal.
---------------
He stood there.
Unable to meet my eyes for fear he could see my soul-
-Through tears, flushed cheeks….that single..downward pull of my lips.
I died.
Unable to look up..for fear he was looking away-
-Through tears of his own, searing an eternity of blue..endless blue..that
looked upon me once with love.
Everything crumbled.
I could no longer..face existence-
-It's lies.
He left.
I cried.
He never looked back.
I never lived again.
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Striving time,
Dying faith,
Unleading love,
No where in sight.
This pain,
My heart needs to breathe,
Needs something to hold,
But nothing is there,
Just some empty void.
Silent Lovers,
Mocking me,
Had they known my end,
Would they not of left.
Alone,
Alone,
I'm all alone,
No one to love me,
No one to feel.
Emptiness engulfs my soul,
My heart left weak,
Left open to the knifes deadly skill,
Look at me, my lifes my will.
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Do unto others what you would have them do unto you,
The words branded into my skull,
Yet all my hard works have come to naught,
And leave me lying in a ditch diggers grave,
Consumed by my own hate,
Fed to the fire by my own kin,
Their stakes driving me further into my acclaim.
Laughing eyes all around me,
Spouting words of hate, disbelief,
When they themselves have qouted to me,
Words of love and forgiving,
Yet in me having done nothing,
I have gained a screen of infallible loathing of,
These people and their words,
Speaking from the delves of a scourged heart,
Not knowing in that doing they condemn themselves,
To a fate which they denzied fit for only the lowest of forms.
Speak, I scream to them,
Speak of your truths, of your 'great' deeds,
And watch the maggots pour forth from your gaping maws,
The wiggling mass of filth a testiment to your own humanity,
A sick revelation of how low you really are,
Look and be seen.
Don't tell me what I've done wrong,
Look into yourselves,
Find the crude makings of your soul.
Know that you are mortal,
And mortal you be.
No god-maker, or seer.
Just some poor lowely maggot,
Spurting forth your inconsistencies.
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I am
I am the shadow by your side
I am the light that shines in your window
I am the hollow sound in your chest when you're scared
I am the music in your secret hiding place
I am the black of night
The white of day
I am beginning
I am end
I am water
I am fire
I am destruction
I am healing
I am the angel in the corner of your eye
I am the devil that made you cry
I am human.
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Life
We laugh
We cry
We all one day die.
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O' Fair heart you leave me now
My heart shall beat no longer
My stance will take on a dead like form
For I have nothing to live for
Until you come back my soul is barrem
O' Dear love I hunger now
My skin trembles for your touch
My lips cry for your kiss
For I miss your gentleness
Until you come back my heart is broken
O' Sweet angel this is the end
My heart no longer beats
My soul has finally broken
I now lay here crying
For you have not come back
O' False hope you have taken me in
My heart was so weak
My soul so taking
And you made my heart beat and my soul full
Why have you tricked me so?
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Sweet mother and child
The last few notes gently die from her lips
Replaced by a small loving smile
As she gazes upon her sweet childs brow
Possibilities run rampant in her mind
Of her childs future
The baby coos in it's sleep
Contentment written upon its cheek
Sleep sweet my baby child
Fret not in your sleep
I am here my baby child
Your smile is my sunshine on rainy days
Your laugh a bubbling song that lilts by the creek
Sweet child you are mine to keep
The mother hums a little tune
Long and sweet
The baby lets a sigh escape its sleep
Sweet mother and child.
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Rain
Rain falling in petals....
Wind whispering in hollows....
As the sky indulges in her showers....
A rumble complains of her hunger.
Why Fair lady do we grumble?
Is it for your trouble?
Oh do stop crying dear lady,
Wipe those tears m'lady.
Soft as petals falling on me....
Wind as sharp as nettles....
Sky as black as your loss....
M'lady is crying
All hide in their beds,
Afraid of the rumble of my lady,
And the turmoil in her head.
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Sweet lullaby
A sweet lullaby
Soft songs with no words
A mother holds her child,
Her whole world in her hands
Soft crooning, a loving gaze
As her child smiles up at her
Soft round curls
Soft chubby cheeks holding a smile
The most perfect thing a mother did see.
A world so harsh,
The mother knows,
Her child will have to endure.
Careful tending, loving words,
Her only way to prepare.
A hope all she's done will be enough
To carry her child through.
Then one day the child is gone.
Her hope forever extinguished.
Pale sallow skin, unseeing eyes
Confront her in his room...
The last few notes die from her lips,
A sweet lullaby.
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Fate
I find too late
I am the invention of my parents hate
And yet I go against the grind
Following my faith totally blind
Others actions make me totally sick
At night I stay up till the end of the wick
My fear growing
The rants not slowing
I feel like I am going to break
If these people their stupidity, do not wake.
I cried the night before
Staring increduously at my consuming chore
Wanting it all to end
But to my surprise and immense good luck, my will did not bend.
So now I will continue my endless task
In the warmth of my duties I will bask.
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Hate
He looks at me,
Quick swipe of his tongue scouring over his lips
My mind crying no as he steps towards me.
A sickening feeling coming to my stomach
As he places his hand on my shoulder,
Looking at me with that disgusting smile,
Placing me up on his knee,
Myself trembling in fear.
Now I leave myself;
Go to my happy world,
Where anything is there but he.
I run from him when he lets me down,
Tears sliding down my cheeks,
My firsts thoughts ‘mommy!’.
She doesn’t believe me,
No one believes me.
I am a child without innocence.
No more happiness follows me,
Just my hate that seethes,
And tomorrow it will grow,
When it’s him I see.
