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A Vision Given Me by God
An Essay


            One day at Holy Name Cathedral, I went to sit in the back corner of the back pew.  I saw only the church walls around me, but at the same time I had the intense sensation that the center of the universe was a big invisible sphere, which was absolutely perfect in spherical shape, and was surrounding the church at this particular moment, the center of the sphere in the center of the Church.   And I felt that God’s center of Thought was either very present in this sphere, or, perhaps, that the sphere was itself God’s eternal Sphere of Thought in the Center of the universe, a Center who just so happened to be at this church at this particular moment.  I had the intense understanding that this Sphere was geometrically perfect.  And the idea that God’s thought filled the Sphere was sensed by the fact that I understood there to be an incredible clarity of Thought everywhere in this Sphere: if we see certain colors and certain shapes, then this sphere of Pure Thought could see all colors and shapes within His Sphere - which was now around the Church - with a bright clarity that we do not sense in our limited range of perception.

            Suddenly a small sinister rich man (who seemed like the devil) and a woman (who seemed like an advertiser) were on the altar, with a few of their friends.  And then they and their friends marched down the center aisle toward the back of the Church, while I was (once again) sitting in the back corner.  They walked down into a stairwell which descended into the floor in the rear middle of the cathedral.  I had never been in Holy Name Cathedral before, and I had never before seen a Church that had a stairwell which descended into the ground in its rear.  I got the sense they were descending into a hopeless abyss of Hell.  And an absolutely “supernatural” level of despair entered into my soul, a feeling of darkness far stronger than human feelings, a “pure” feeling of absolute despair which had no calming qualities of joy or peace whatsoever.

             Then human beings began to quietly walk into the church through the various doors that lead to the outside, and which existed both in the back as well as on the sides of the church.  I had a feeling of horror as I realized that these humans were not completely alive.  They looked just like normal humans except for the fact that their bodies and clothes were grayish in color, and they shuffled forward silently and without any extra movements, much like zombies.  But where zombies can seem to have ill intentions toward others, I got the incredibly intense sensation that these humans had not enough brain activity going to feel many ill intentions at this point.  They seemed half dead, absolutely heartless, the main thing going on in their minds being that they were being compelled to walk forward, compelled forward perhaps by God.  I understood that these souls were the souls of a hell, the souls who had sucked too much love and beauty and goodness from other peoples lives and hearts, and thus their own hearts had become an abyss of hopeless darkness, depression, despair.  And their common character was this: they hurt others without caring about it.  Coming in from various doors around the church, they walked slowly toward the back of the church where I was.  And as they descended into the stairway that went down into the floor, I had the understanding that these souls were descending into a deep and dark chamber of hell, from which there would be no way out, a most isolating chamber of lifeless rock or metal, cut off from any physical light or any emotional love or any interesting experiences.  And as they shuffled down the stairs into this place, it seemed that their minds, working on minimal activity, were being simply compelled by God to shuffle forward, and they were only half aware of it, and there was nothing they could possibly do about it, for it was simply the natural order of things that this was where the dark souls had to go, as a river must descend down on a mountain.  Maybe ten or twenty such souls came into the church altogether.  And whenever one marched down the stairs, I heard a voice down at the bottom the stairs count the soul, “one,” “two,” “three,” as if there was a set number which would enter hell.  The voice at the bottom sounded like an eternal voice of, perhaps, an eternal man who solemnly guarded the gate to hell.  His voice was unemotional, and it had the ability to speak with a perfect sort of cadence, as if it was not only counting souls but was marking off time.  I am not sure anymore, but I think I may have heard a door close.  As I say, the feeling of despair that was filling my chest was so severe - so beyond human emotions - that it cannot be described, but suffice it to say that I was a grown man who had his knees shaking uncontrollably back and forth.

            I am not sure anymore, but I think I may have heard a door open. And my chest was now filled with the greatest sense of pure Love and warmth and Life, a feeling so massive and intense that it was a Godly feeling, filling my whole being.  Although I could only see the Church walls, it was as if God’s Thought was the air of a paradise which was all around me and this church - his Thought was the substance that the paradisiacal reality all around me was made of - a paradise of woods and mountains and rivers with the most bountiful plants and flowers everywhere.  And the very essence of lush green watery Life and Love literally filled the Thought air of this paradise, Love filling the air the way that the heat of sunshine usually fills the Earth’s air.  But again, I could see only the Chicago church around me and could not see the actual paradise which I seemed to be in the middle of.  And a procession of souls began to walk upward from the stairs, perhaps twenty or thirty in total.  But this set of souls was absolutely different from the first.  The first set had entered one by one, from different doors, and thus they had each descended into the stairs separately from the others.  In sharp contrast, this second set of souls emerged in one procession, many walking side by side, all of them following just a couple feet behind the ones in front of them.  Where the first had hurt others without caring, these were more interested in the common good than in personal gain or personal joy, an attitude which ultimately yields real joy in their hearts.  And where the first people had grayish clothes, these people seemed to have dust on their clothes, but their clothes was nonetheless colorful and pleasant.  And their clothes was quite modern, modern slacks and button down shirts on the men, pretty modern dresses or slacks and blouses on the women.  Despite their modern appearance, however, they nonetheless looked quite old, some of them looking much older than the first set of souls (who had looked elderly themselves).  Some of their members looked as if they had been dead for perhaps hundreds of years.  And I got the sense that they were coming to life again, some of them (or maybe all of them) being groggy in their minds.  Their minds seemed highly intelligent, where the minds of the dark souls had seemed like brute animals almost.  But since some of these good souls were waking up after ages of deathly sleep, thus they were still thinking fuzzy, at least some of them.  And despite the fact that they were waking up from a deathly sleep, it was obvious that “death” had not been any sort of “bad” experience for these souls; it had simply been unconsciousness or sleep, and now, when they were awakening, you could sense the Life of spring both in the Thought air of the paradise all around us and in these joyous most alive souls.  They had a relaxed sophistication in their movements, a sort of physical delicacy and grace that was quite orderly and not fragile. 

            And then I got the impression that, even though these souls were awakening after a long death, they were actually the souls of a future civilization, the souls of a future city, a very high-tech city.  I could not see a city, but I got ideas about it.  The city was not high-tech by simply having countless wires and lights.  Rather, it was elegantly high-tech, to begin with, in that it was what we would today call a “sustainable society.”  Contemporary societies pollute the Earth too much and they take too much resources, such as oil or whatever, out of the Earth, so that they are ruining the Earth’s ecosystem.  But this society was high-tech in that it was expertly designed so as to not damage the Earth’s ecosystem in anyway.  And it was as if each facet of the city - from architecture to energy systems, transportation systems, etc. - everything was absolutely efficient and everything was crafted in the precise best ways to maximize the fulfillment and goodness of human life.  And where today’s professionals often think they’re brilliant but are really petty greedy people trying to get more money and status than others, these souls rising from the stairs had no reason to be haughty because they had self-worth as people who made a good society for all.  He who schemes mainly to get more than others had no place in this society because it would be humiliating to be such a base individual in this city of admirable people who live for the common good.  All of these ideas of the city  appeared in my head sort of in one grand moment, although all I could see was this procession of aged but elegant and awakening souls. 

            Now, in the middle of this procession, there was one man who seemed much older than the rest.  It seemed that he had been dead the longest, as if he had been dead for a thousand years, or perhaps for some longer age, like millions of years.  I couldn’t tell.  It seemed like, maybe, this man had been lying dormant since creation had “ended” the “last time.”  In other words, it was as if this advanced City had possibly existed maybe millions of years ago, but then it had somehow ended, and this man had been laying dormant since it had ended.  But now, he was coming back to consciousness and Life, to regain His city which will once again start to be at this very moment once His Mind regains power.  This man looked taller than average, a good body frame which would be strong and lean if he were young, but not slumped over because his body was more feeble with deterioration than all of the others, since he had been dead the longest.  And thus his mind was the mind that was the least active; where the others were highly aware that they were awakening, he was only vaguely aware that he was awakening.  And his mind and body were so weak that a few of the others supported him on his sides as they walked forward.  But even though his mind was only vaguely conscious, it was obvious that this man was a whole lot more intelligent than all of these other people, who were themselves well educated it seemed.  I could see that this man knew all physics equations and, in fact, new the entire scientific design of the universe.  He was so intelligent that his job was not to teach physics or anything like that.  Rather, His official job in the city was to be the architect who mapped out the most important systems of the city, mapping out all of the systems which make the society run in perfectly efficient and beneficial ways for the people.  And then I realized that this man, who was indeed a real man, was not only a man, but, further He was literally the Center of the city’s Mind. Again, it was as if God’s Thought was the air or substance this paradisiacal land, and it was as if this man, Who was the leader of the city, was the Center of its Mind or of its Thought.  I had an understanding of him sitting in a modern chair high in some high chamber in some building, with perhaps high-tech equipment around his brain, or perhaps simply His brain was the “high-tech equipment,” so that His brain somehow literally branched outward into the structures of the city so that he could omnisciently know anything in the city, at least when he was sitting in this, his chamber.  And then I noticed that these people loved this Man with an incredibly deep love.  Given that one man was so much smarter than all the rest and was the ruler of the rest, you might think that many people might be jealous of him or be competitive with him, or else might worship him as we do God.  But differently, these people had no time for jealousies and competitions, and did not o much worship him as simply love him and stand in awe of him, the central Mind whose Thought branched outward as the very substance they were made of, so that their very lives were absolutely dependent upon him for existence.  And thus He was God, a central Mind of absolute dignity, absolute straight-forwardness and sincerity. 

            Once again, however, even though I could sense all of these ideas, even though the essence of Love and Thought seemed to literally be the air or substance of this paradisiacal city around me, nonetheless, all I could actually see was this procession of old souls coming back to happy life and walking upward from the stairs in the back of the church, walking slowly forward up the central aisle toward the altar.  When they reached the altar, they turned right in front of it and walked to the right.  And then they turned left to advance forward again, walking into the all where people pray to Mary, where they disappeared. 

            I learned later that Mary is sometimes called the “Gate of Heaven.”  And there is a huge cross hanging from the ceiling of the Church, Holy Name Cathedral.  And that was the vision of God and the devil, of Heaven and of Hell - and of the Last Judgement - which God gave me.