"I don't have a gambling problem, because I'm winning. And when you're winning, it's not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem. Or that Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem. You can all 'Pour Some Sugar On' that!" - Earl

"PSht...problem...'Oh poor superman, he should really do something about his flying problem'. It's not a problem if you're awesome at it." - Barney