Novio.

I'm hot.
I'm sexy.
I'm what every girl aspires to be.

You want to date me? Okay. Fill out this form.

Submit it and I'll send you an email letting you know
if you're in the running.

I'll also be posting the winners and, of course, the losers.
And maybe I'll put why they lost. Just for the hell of it.

Without further ado:

BOYFRIEND APPLICATION

Part I: Preliminary

Your Name:

I am a:
Male Female

Age:

Height:

Weight:

Ethnicity:

Religion:

Level of Education:

Occupation:

Part II: Appearance

Hair Color:

Eye Color:

Teeth Color:

I would describe my style as:

My favorite article of clothing is:

I own n pairs of shoes:

Part III: Preferences

Please list your favorite:

Food
Animal
Color
Movie
Fruit juice
Marsupial
Song
Season
Racial stereotype
Cartoon character
Pastry or baked good
Muppet

Part IV: Anagrams

For this part of the application, please list as many words you can make using these letters:
TUPIDSBAEM

Part V: True/False

For this part, the first column of boxes is "true", while the last column of boxes is "false". Please think about your answers before selecting them. This is the final portion of the application.

I like people.
People like me.
I eat cheese on a regular basis.
I Febreze my clothes instead of washing them.
I constantly interrupt people when they're speaking.
I have several healthy hobbies.
I am willing to drop large amounts of cash on Jen if need be.
I believe I have a lot to offer.
This has been a complete waste of my time.

By submitting this application, you waive all rights and hereby give your soul to Jen, she owns you forever and you will be her slave. By being her slave, you are guaranteed food, clothing, and shelter, but not all three at the same time. By signing this application, you are also forfeiting your right to complain about anything Jen does, says, or believes, and hereby forfeit your right to think for yourself. Jen, in turn, will supply kinky lovin' at any time of the day.

I hereby agree to these terms.

junk crap things stuff whatnot

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