9-19-04

As those far more internet savvy than I have continuously pointed out to me, I am one of the last people to hear about the crazy free IPod offer that's going around the internet. It has exploded in the past few months due to increasing amounts of stories concerning it's legitimacy. That's right, dudes and duddettes. This one is for real. How do I know? I read it on the internet.

If you, like me, didn't get the memo, allow me to fill you in. There's a very suspicious looking offer floating around this wide world of web that promises a free IPod upon completion of certain tasks. At first glance, one would, obviously, be suspicious. However, I did not come across this offer via a pop-up, but rather numerous credible news sources and first hand accounts of people explaining how they received their free IPod.

Wired.com ran an article on their website explaining the in's and out's of the company responsible for the offer. They uncovered that there is no scam, but rather the company, Gratis Internet, an advertising company, is motivating people to sign up for services that Gratis associates themselves with (Blockbuster, NetFlix, AOL, Ebay, etc.) and promising users a free IPod if they convince 5 people to do the same. I was still skeptical until I ran across a story broadcast on a Boston NBC TV station that interviewed representatives for Gratis International themselves and also people who had received their IPod. You can find the transcript here, as the website that featured the clip has recently maxed out it's bandwidth. I will link to it, regardless, later.

I seriously pondered how I could just now be learning about this dream of an offer. I figured that I had perhaps glanced over it in some spam mail that I've received. I think that it was accidentally deleted with the "Breast Pump/Penis Pump Combo Special" email and the "Wet Pre-teens Getting Hot and Bothered with Breast Pumps/Penis Pumps" email. Needless to say, I've been ignorant to this spam oddity.

I am not a gulli bull and have never participated in any pyramid scheme or chain letter no matter how tempting. When Bill Gates was sending out all those emails, giving out his incredible wealth if you forwarded his email to 25 people, I, reluctantly, declined. When God sent that one email telling me to send his email to everyone that I didn't want to go to hell, I bit my lip, and deleted the message. (not because I didn't want to participate, but because I couldn't think of anyone I didn't want to go to hell) This offer, however, has consumed me.

After doing my own research I've come to learn that it is not a pyramid scheme by the definition of the word. As you can imagine, this was a relief for two reasons: A) I want a free IPod and B) I want a free IPod. Allow me to briefly describe the tasks outlined in the free IPod offer.

Step 1: Become a member at FreeIpods.com for free.

Step 2: Sign up for one of the multiple offers that FreeIpods.com associates themselves with.

Step 3: Sign up 5 of your friends and get them to complete steps 1 and 2.

Step 4: Enjoy the IPod.

The suspicious part is step 2. You have to have a credit card. HOLD ON, THOUGH! Most of the offers are for free trials that can be cancelled before the trial ends at no charge to your card. Other offers are for very cheap merchandise (much cheaper than an IPod in any case) and there is even a specific offer that issues no charge to your credit card and no need for cancellation.

Luckily for you, I've done the brain work on this one and I am going to walk you through the easiest way possible to complete these obstacles and point out the pitfalls on the way. These pitfalls do not necessarily cost you money, but rather eliminate you from being eligible for a free IPod. In this journey you are about to embark on, you must fear only one thing. That thing is a "hold" on your FreeIpods.com account. There is no way to get out of a hold and you will find it most impossible to start a new account and successfully attain a free IPod. You've got one shot at the free IPod and if you try and cut a corner, you're screwed, so follow the rules.

First thing is first and that's signing up, for free, at FreeIpods.com. As I am as much of a participant as you will be, the link provided is to my own referral page. When you click on the link, you will be asked which IPod you would like as well as to provide an email address and password.

Here's a minor pitfall. If you have a hotmail address or an equivalently sugar coated email host, you might run into the problem of not receiving your verification email due to spam blockers. FreeIpods.com will send you no IPod unless you are verified, however there is a simple way for them to manually verify you if you cannot manage to deactivate your spam blockers.

It should be noted that the entire premise behind Gratis International and the FreeIpods.com offer is that you voluntarily open yourself up to spam and participate in those ads that you spend so much time throwing away or deleting. All of this to get a very worthwhile prize....A $300 IPOD FOR FREE! With this being noted, I continue.

Next you will be asked to participate in ten surveys sequentially. Refer back to your drug awareness days in Elementary for this one and just say no. Say no to every survey because it doesn't matter and you're better than that.

The next thing you will be asked to do is refer 5 friends, but, from this point, the order that the rest of the steps are completed in do not matter. I suggest jumping over to the "Complete Offer" section and look at the offers. You will need to choose only one offer and participate to continue on your way to that every-so-free IPod.

There are a few pitfalls here. You will note that most of the offers are for free trials that last anywhere from two weeks to three months. You might think you can just join one of these and immediately cancel. Don't do that. The company that you screw over will alert FreeIpods.com and your account will be indefinitely(which means eternally) put on hold. Join the service and if you choose to cancel, cancel at least a week after you receive credit for joining.

Another pitfall is not reading the fine print in a service you sign up for. For instance, the "Video Professor" offer seems relatively simple because you only pay $8 for a bunch of crappy tutorial CD's, but if you fail to read the print, you will overlook that you must return the CD's within 10 days to avoid being charged $70.

My suggestion is to go ahead and join a service that you might use. This way you will not be stuck with a subscription to Ancestry.com and unlimited information on your family heritage. You could easily join something like NetFlix and be somewhat happy with your purchase if you forget to call on the last day and cancel.

The best service to join in my opinion is Infone, which is a long distance service. It requires a credit card, but you are charged nothing and there is no need to cancel because you are only charged if you actually use the service. You will receive credit immediately for this one, so it is, by far, the best.

Note that the offers change each time you log in, so if you do not see any of the offers that I talk about, try logging in at another time.

Once you have successfully completed an offer, you will receive credit in one to two days depending on which offer you chose. Having done that, you can now focus your attention on recruiting 5 people to do the same thing you just finished doing. This is the tough part because you need to convince at least 5 people that this is not a scam and to sign up for an offer using their credit card. You can view their progress in your "Check Status" section of the FreeIpods.com website.

The recruiting process is made easier due to the availability of a referral URL that can be posted on forums, AIM profiles, personal emails, etc.

There you go. Easy, right? Right? Read the "Terms & Conditions" if you are still unsure. I recommend this so that you can learn what exactly will get your account put on hold.

Basically you will be illegitimately employed as an advertisement for Gratis Internet and, vicariously, all of the companies that pay Gratis to lure you into their advertising clutches. When you have successfully met all of the requirements, your account will be individually reviewed for any broken rules and, upon successful inspection, you will be given an order/tracking number for your very real, relatively free IPod with 20 damn gigabytes of memory. Do you know how many remixes of rap songs featuring additional rappers you can fit on that thing? A lot.