Well it's that time of year again.

What am I? That is interesting and I'm sure I'll get around to that in a latter chapter. But for now who are you? Well let me see there are all those people who disappeared ever so recently and let me say that all but one of them never really existed. I mean can a man.. or woman.

Nah let's just get started. I'm God I'm God I'm God.

I love it. Being God is a lot of things. It's like well it's like when you piss on that tree. Well your pissing on a peace of me. When you take a shit well. your flushing and sitting on a piece of me.

Well hey I take the shape and the form of my inventions very importantly.

The way I see it what went on was a bunch of people tried to stop other people from doing things. So I created a bunch of temporary people to do those things.

Now they were the who. They had lives and people tried to stop them and they went on and in the end I got what I wanted.

Funny isn't it.

Anyway So now that I'm what you guys are all in there being the who. Some of you are thinking hey I bet there are going to be temporary people this time. Maybe even thinking you can take advantage of them. Maybe turn a prophet.

Well yes it was brilliant. the alphabet.

Now this what he's weird chat you don't want to fuck with him. I mean he might turn you into a toad.

Really might happen.

But what am I? Who am I in love with?

I don't mean just your but fuckin ordinary wanting to cum on their face sort of casual sexual thing.

I mean who do I want to be with for the rest of my life. For all time.

Me of course. Like I was saying that tree your shitting on etc.

Like I was saying you are all inside of me. the whole thing. She is too. Like I'm going to be fucking a woman who is going to be inside of me while I'm with her.

I can guess why you might think the heart but no.

Inside of me it's all mixed like a big, I don't know it's like when a lot of people die and you see me on the bus and well there souls are restructuralizing inside of me. Just like you do when you turn a doorknob.

It's funny really everything that goes on on this planet heheh affects me. lets' say like in astrology there are all these real planets that represent the universe. Then there are these other planets that don't really exist as planets but they are planets because they are just as effective.

now you take those planets. The ones that exist and don't existed in astrology add the earth and you have what is inside of me.

The whole thing.

I'm about 5' 6" tall. My weight, how embarrassing has almost reached 300 and at the smallest adult size was about 160.

I like it around 180 pounds firm.

Oh yeah why do I love my self. Because the good people heaven and the bad people go to hell.

How far away is heaven?

Get it?

Remember I had that other book. The plan which when I was in heaven I would have a book that answer. who?___________

What?___________ When?__________ Where?_____________

and it was about the people in heaven. Like their cool stories and stuff.

Well what am I. Heaven is on earth last time I checked affected by all those things those other planets. Those inventions I make. Those thoughts I have. The feelings I express.

Those Thoughts

Now the stories I read in my Book. They have to all fit together. Like I said, "People are all having stories and they don't harm anybody else’s stories. Now when people do hurt the stories of others they hurt me. It's almost like everything is going good with your digestion, you get constipated and then finally you take a shit and the and I feel better.

It's like that when someone is going to hell. I'm like constipated and I have to have a crap. When I have my crap I feel better. And the weird part is... you do too.

Like you had this string and a cat was trying to eat it. And then the cat is gone away somewhere and your string magically repairs itself and the world is alright and your alright and you know she's alright because you didn't go to hell trying to find her.

What's my story like you might ask. Well I like most of you have had people a lot of people trying to take my story away. It's like they hate me. Hate me for sending them to hell.

They know it deep down inside they know it and the struggle and threatened to hurt and kill those that I love. But I wouldn't let them win. I would not I could not.

"I'm God," I say. God can't let no one stop his place in the plan.

Of course it sucks for those who have to deal those things that happened to the who .

I was thinking though. If this really is heaven shouldn't magical things occur.

I mean like dude I'm what hear. There is no way what is like who. I mean what can't be like who. If what was like who. What would cease to be what and become who.

You'll have to excuse my math.

Well shit it's all inside me. I mean like everything. Now for sure I don't get all constipated every time I have to deal with a shit head. But it happens sometimes it does.

I don't know what to make of that last sentence. Bar fight?

I think a picture would be nice.

Yes it is Chip break time.

Chip break time. All must cease. I want to eat my bag of chips and watch TV but I can't afford TV. I can't. So I'll sit and I'll watch the, well shit I'll probably leave the computer on and watch a movie. Or like a movie on something. Or half a movie and then come back.

Anyway there I was staring at my wallpaper when it occurred to me. What is this Book about for those "people" out there who follow their lives.

Well it sure ain't shaped like a cross.

But truth fully it's about the people "who attempt to get in my way to the where" Being fucked up by themselves not us while making asses of themselves and doing all the dirty work.

That's just what what is.

I don't know why what is what.

But what is definitely that.

Oh yeah what isn't going to be like what did they keep calling me "who?" "who?" "who?" over and over again. I've heard of some stupid people in my day, but to not know who.

I mean God man how could a person not know who God is?

In the what though they'll know what!!! Like where you good or bad today. That's what!

Did you have a good time at the mall today? That's what!

Did I forget to mention something that you thought was important?

That's what!

What will happen during what. Get real. Did you not understand the part about the pathetic people who did not understand who I was. It's very sad really. They are all inside of me. Being churned up to insert in hell.

I feel bad if you've had a loved one who died. I really do. But this is not the place where I'll talk about such things. I will though. It will probably be latter in this book.

What to invest in. Invest in everything getting cheaper. That's what!!!

Invest in prices going down or you'll die. That's what! Invest in us paying less for everything or you'll die. That's what! Invest in the lower cost of living. That's what!

On a lighter note.

I'm predicting rain, rain and more rain.

It's almost like in some countries it's like scorching hot and in other countries it's like raining all the time.

Of course with today’s climate you can't go by the weather. As I was saying in astrology. There are planets that are ruled that rule. Planets that don't exist that are ruled that rule. There is earth that ruled I stopped from ruling still ruled and now am switching ruling back into being as influential as the rest of the planets.

Like that astrology equation I mentioned earlier.

Really I didn't say anything different I just said the same thing.

Life what up with dat!?

AhhhH weather what is it that makes you so different when it's romantic. Why do some-days with the right woman you want to break yourself apart and spread yourself upon the air the ground everything around and embrace her with it.

And other days it just sucks rocks !!!

I must make another picture....

Well before we get to far I'd like to give a few shout outs. To Rap music. You haven't made it anywhere. If you can't afford to not have the shit played on the tele. Then really your taking a very long time. Punk Alternative Hard Core Metal Death Rock and of course Rock and Roll all seems to be able to hold there own in most Countries. Okay Death Metal is on a bit of a break. Aside form that. If Rap is that old what could it be.

Sure the hell wasn't the colour of our skin.

Another shout out to all those people out there trying and hoping to be my friend. I see it as almost the opposite as the Girl thing. With Girls I have to remind myself that I'm pretty Good looking And they might be after me for my looks. With friends you have to remind yourself that they might want to be your friend to get out of something. and those are split into two categories. Those you will probably end up helping and those that it's hard not to laugh at or disintegrate of the face of the earth for looking at me.

Then there are those that might want to be your friends, but they leave that mostly in your hands. Which they probably should. Oh yes sub-categories of those that want to be your friends and want help. Would they be my friends after the help. That is the question.

Friends with God. That's it though. Non of this Brian your a different guy. Your like the battery all that stuff. Just God hanging out. Of course I do like to help.

Help help help. I must have turned the help channel on. If the help channel was the bat signal you'd swear that most days the whole sky could be made black by all the little bats formed by it. "Not so much Fake help, these days," thank God.

To Those friends that gave me all the extra time to help others. Thanks. I appreciate your appreciating of the situation and your thoughts on the subject. Should you choose to speak without thinking. I'll appreciate that to.

I think I'm thinking of another time and place when I think about what I considered friends. As our walkman hug us and the pictures in front of us dance. Maybe you'll reflect on this world that you probably hate because of the people who do crappy things. Then think about toasters and T.V.S. or pick up a rock and throw it. Then you'll know my earlier tries at life and how auto mated they were. Without independent thought the world is a perfect place. There is another place were people don't do shitty things to each other. Earth. I know it seems crazy but. On earth people really don't have independent thought either. It only seems that way.

For instance, when your child runs at you to be picked up and hugged or carried over to someplace new. He's and or she is only doing this to please you. Sure you could slang that up to, make you happy, freak you out, have some fun. It's totally artificial.

Same with you saying hello. Take a person saying hi to me. As a what. This who will walk around a corner and say hi. They assume they are saying hi, to their concept of God. They are saying hi to me. I might be thinking about laundry. A volcano forming, in this time or another time. I might be trying to find a secret local to pick my nose. I like tissue, but I'm old enough to use them.

Now this person says hi because they want a reaction like a hello or a hi, to (please) their image of God. The person who is always prepared to listen. The person who always understands.

I try not to give a person like that a handshake or the finger. It's not always easy.

For their conception of what God is to be so different than reality. They Don't acknowledge my existence amongst their friends. If at least three people hang out together. All acknowledging the existence of God. They will get a much closer concept of what God is.

These people, Rarely catch me at inopportune times. Hardly ever throw me off balance. Truthfully their biggest problem seems to be thinking I want to be everybody’s close personal friend.

Nope sorry. I guess if I have God friends. God friends that in person I sort-a know cause I can keep my mind out-there. And then of course what we call close personal friends. One of course will be the wife.

Ahh that is funny what does a wife do to prove their love to a husband. Now your talking artificial thinking. There's the fact you want to physically stay together. There's the fact you want his love and want it bad. There's the kisses your hoping for there's the thoughts of what happens if this breaks down. The fears of starting over and it never being the same because it's with a different person.

All this going on. If you've ever been with one and they're spinning their head trying to figure which please to praise. Then you know what I'm talking about.

AI I love myself. It's the best fucken life ever. Every body pushing others buttons all making it better and better for each other. Including me. Until the sky is about to break open from the wwww?_________ and then is dissipated into a thousand branches and branches branches all pleasing me endlessly. Yeah I know I'm God. I know it so strongly that I had to laugh at the last few attempts to make me forget.

Silly really silly deedless doing their little deadly thing.

The Joke!

God walks into a bar. Everybody is talking about him. He walks over to the most attractive chick. Enough about me, let's talk about you.

Ha ha ha. Get it. God gets sick of people talking about him. Have you read a bible. Do you know what is going on. Do you know what time it is? ha ha ha I must be kidding.

Anyway in Montreal I could walk by any bar go to any coffee place, Dance my night away at any bar. Drunk right out of my skull if I wanted to. Never not once did anybody stop talking about me. Like music to my ears. Like the beautiful stars in the sky the mist in the air. The trees. The mountain. You name it.

Oh and of course most of the people there aren't single after about sixteen years and that's even back then.

Ahhh the place rocks. Lately it seems like they think they have such places. Now a days it's now bars. I can tell. Walk into a place and everybody shuts up. It's a now bar. They want your now. Your humming to yourself something to remind you of what you wanted to do with your day and someone will open up a now bar where you can go in and forget your life.

In real life there are other sorts of bars and places where things are always happening. I can walk into one of those places and something things are going on. It could be something from France in 1374. You don't know but it's fun. Now a days it all looks like some sort-a proof that living through the year before was stupid or something.

Ohhh and most of the buildings around here are built to take away from the beauty of my earth not to enhance it. To the point of emphasizing the crappy-iest things in Montreal actually.

Anyway since most of us living to day aren't aging and the who's that want to be what are going to be killing themselves amongst themselves. I just thought it would be fun to write a little about what. What am I what is God.

Yes in the who. I supposed we discovered that God can affect the weather. Make things disappear. Even bring a few things back and stuff like that. Yes a suppose I can make things move. It's sort of funny.

If that is all you discovered in the who then you are either a minor bunny, or really don't have any concept of God. It's really sad actually,,,

More about the city though. I know pathetically single people over the age of thirty. Cars that rust. Ice that makes you fall. Trees that make it look like they are going to make it all though summer and then the branch breaks off on it's own falling to the ground. On the brittle frozen paving. A paving so solid it makes ice look like clear paving and

paving look like black ice.

Ahh I can't stand it. The sun. The trees. The lake on the hill. That's about the same height as the Montreal mountain. It's a beautiful beautiful world.

Ohhhh excuse me I'm arguing with myself. But ass far as I can see the only side of this planet that has to change it's ways compared to the inside is the temperature. Aside from that I believe my concept of inside and outside will be pretty much enforced by five years into the age of Pisces. I'd say around 2006.

Perma-locking.

Basically I guess if you read and your trying to figure out that top sentence it means that the age of Pisces. The age of Pisces will have the inside and outside as close as they really ever are. Until the next age of Pisces. This age of Pisces should last until about half-way though that next one.

So there are the signs in a nut shell. You should see, when this earth fully kicks into the fact that the comfort level ain’t all about temperature. It's becoming just another place. Like all the planets that are real and are not real. While they feel they're up there ruling. The earth down here rules as well. Of course they all "rule" together. Basically I rule the earth all the other planets everything on them and the stars around. The whole fucking thing. The stars are a different form of time. Like the measurement of days months years. So yeah if I can just get the earth over the hump and land it like, "It is One of the other planets." Equal. Not Better or worst. Or stronger or weaker. Just different. Ohhhh guess fuck is she fun to rule. If you could picture driving your favorite favorite fucking, "no one gets their favorite fucking car" fucking poster on a wall automobile. That's what it's like ruling the fucking things. Your cruising in a no-speed limit 100 M.P.H. with no one else on the high way and it, "this is were I separate from you" goes on forever.

All I have to do now is pick up a hitch hiker on the side of the road. Without slowing down. Say high honey, "Have her convince me that she is my one." Keep, my speed constant and maybe someday do the same thing to put a kid in the back. "I hope it's a boy!"

Of course on a certain planet I'm actually living this life. making sure everything is okay.

Ohhh yeah if your really into astrology then you might want to know that the earth is wear the AI is the most kicking.

You know it's funny I was thinking to myself. Weather or not the image portrayed in the bible is a stereo type. About a God who really wants people to understand him. It depends what you mean by stereotype. Most people, back in the day, thought the expression meant something that the sound of doesn't change. The definition for almost any word is a craze. The only exception to this is the word good.

Now if I was to tell you that a person might think the stereo type for God is that I react the same way when different people do the same thing. I'd have to say only when good is done.

So telling a person that has done some Seriously wrong that they can do a few good things and everything will be okay, or the same as a person who has tried to do good things (and succeeded a few times) all their life is stupid.

So if you buy a kid a bag of chips don't expect your whole life to change over night. There are people who have been paying for cheaper chips they're whole life. They're life was probably a little better because of it. Then they decided to raise they're prices just to see if like you know they were connected. The slightly better life and the price of chips. They died. It's a fact of life. Making my life any worst will kill you. Heaven.

Makes Me Think Of The Wife.

I wonder if my image of head spinning true love making kick the wall before I'd leave him is true. Then I should have nothing to worry about , I mean that's cool. It's Going to get more and more powerful though. Those moments of putting up with you because your an attempted-friender or something is going out the window.

They're is no buying your way out of it. We are going to heaven. We're pissing me off is ridiculous and people getting away with stuff is the most impossible stupidest thing that a person has ever thought of. What the planet is getting used to if I might refer back to my previous chapter. Is my ruling it. You see to this planet I eighties expression, "rule". So strongly that I can't seem to get it to perm-know that I rule.

If it was to flip that expression from the "rule" in the eighties to the rule. Then I might come up with the ability to have a wife and or kids. Because believe it or not computer. She's going to "rule!" One way or another and if the planet isn't through with me "ruling!!!" by then. I really don't know what to do with it.

Of course if it's just the planet earth that is stuck with a "rule" complex. Then the other planets should be enough in a universe plus planet "rule" continuum. Of course should the planet release that to most everything I do "rule" then it should see this newness as rule-x-rule. Or super rule. or he's ruling. What a ruler. ,"I've never had better." Super rule. The ruling one. The guy up there who rules. "I've never ruled like that guy." What a ruler. I want to get a ruler to see if I can measure the amount of rule being used to rule me while we're ruling in the rule.

Rocken rollen rule. Ivan rule. Batov-in Rule. Mostartian Rule. There is so much going one and being rued and ruling and the temperature is going to transition into a new rule where it's more obvious you rule, of course by then it will be "ruling" to those that are now "ruled"

Wanking To Jesus

First off let me tell you. I love it. I flip-freaken flipen-fucken love it. Unless your ugly. When a person is ugly I think it is the most insulting thing in the world for a person to wank off to me. I don't know why they would. I'm sure not going to wank back. I mean fuck. Bad-hair day etc. Yeah sure. But fucken ugly. I said beauty is a gift. Women think a lot of handsome men and masculine men and rugged men.

So looks must be important. The super wank. The up-tight couple wank. The, "I don't know what your talking about?" wank. Super-terrific-happy hour super-wank.

It's the wankiest. It's almost like sex. If that twenty minutes. Heh heh heh could be stretched out to encapsulate how much I love romance, you would start to get me. Rock and Roll. Don't get me started on Rock and rollen.

I just might make some rock and roll myself some day that's what I might do.

I'll get a typewriter and I'll start writing and I'll never stop. I'll be the super wanker. The mano-wank. "The God who wanked his life away?" Get with it.

The question remains what do the Girls think of the super wank. They might do it just because their friends think they are cool when they do. I mean that might be the only reason. They might... no they like me. They really like me. Humma they seem to like me when I'm naked like I'm fucking them but not so much when I'm out there with my clothes on.

I think it's my voice. They must think I rule the earth with my voice and when I use it to talk to them I'm.. Well I just don't know. They are single at least some. Some are probably secretly going out. I did mention that my friends in relationships should probably, not hang out with me in person too much. I might see the look in their eyes when they stare at me like, what could you offer me that this man can't.

In a good mood this is okay. When I really laughing at something though or when I'm really angry at something that is going on in the world. Might be past present or, future. Hint Hint. I might look at here and go I can I can offer you blah blah bah. Into their mind it sinks and then they stare at me after they've left their man and I laugh. laugh my fucken head off. Like I would fall in love with someone who would leave someone that made them feel that way. Being in love. There are no limits. Being with a person who has left their one true love. Waste of time. Why bother. Of course along comes the right person someday and you don't care who they've been with.

What really I never understand is the people who think they are with the right person. Then they think that they wont understand the pain they've been through. They wont tell them the hurts and aches they've had. Like is it the right person. Did you not tell me and everything that is holy that the person your talking about is the right person. Yes dude, dude-ets it's going to hurt, but you want it to stop right? I mean like you do want no one else to go through that, right? It happens bye telling. you tell them what you went through, Time will still heal their wounds. Like who the fuck would give a fuck and who wouldn't, isn't going to end you up with the right person. (Funny though it's the people who care and scream and kick about the about the small things that make the best lovers.) Where were going anybody would care. They'd all care, but who the fuck can take it; that is the question.

Where Will We Be When What Is Ending And Becoming Where.

Well, I'm sorry there is a big truth there. I'm who, what, where, when, and where around the home. Then new things are added and the when and the where change slightly and then the you who are slightly different. The what is constant. The what can not be different. All the stalling and fighting and stupidness of the last century, let's say. Ended up with about a 4.2 second delay in the time it took me to complete my quest to know who I was. Finding out what is going to be something.

People might be wondering. How could you not know what? They might be thinking I've seen some freaky shit man, but when it comes to you... Never have I seen such a freaky thing. True, being freaky is me. As we go on you'll probably find that I'm freakier and freakier than you. A real droid.

What contains personality as well though. What contains more than just what I've done. What is what I am. To Humanity God is the universe the stars, all that we're in, what we've come from and what we become.

Yes, that is something I've made. It's not necessarily what I am. The totality of me, is far beyond what has been this universe for so very long. What contains, some of me far before life. What contains some of me far after life. What flows though life and truly touches very little of what this life containing Universe is.

For you who though, What is very important. Just like my journey to discover who. You too are on a journey to discover who you are. When you discover who you are off and on, until finally you know who you. I hope it is as much fun.

My life on the discovery to who has been the greatest. Not once has anybody who has appreciate my gift ever treated me wrong or caused me any grief or disrespect. Never not once. On the other side against life. I can calmly say that they tried and did not win. Pathetic creatures that would try at nothing to make me feel angry and hate my friends.

You take what I just said up there about trying to find out who you are while I discover what. That's what your life going to be a bit what. You want to get along with people a little bit better, try de-age-afing yourself.

There your going to be though, I hate to make you paranoid. Finding out who you are. Other people want to know who. People from good families. They have a daughter, your someones’ son. Maybe so far you haven't done too much, like your parents are too tight. So it might not just be me what, whom wants to know if your a person who is trying to get to where. Remember where for you; Why and How for me. Another truth that you might find interesting... is that if me taking an interest in your life seems exciting and more strengthening than an average day. When the right person starts thinking of you, you probably think that's it's me, God almighty thinking strange desirous thoughts about you. It'll be them though. The person of your dreams. She'll have finally connected the dots, or she'll be astro-wanking and the mind will drift into the right person, maybe from behind a guy at the counter or something and then wham-mo. It's not just you you care about, it's them too, you want more.

Like I care about this universe. That's the feeling it can be. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the first time. The interest though. Romance entanglement. The biggest of the bigs for most people.

The Job

The Job my Job, what are you going to do?

What baby, what are you? I mean it man what are you? What did you do what did you do while God was finding himself. Is it a mission from God? Did you fall into a TV reality. Or did you just click that on when you where tired. Is it your life or are you your own past time. When did becoming yourself become your own past time.

What Did I Do While Finding Out What Was You?

My first thought this mourning. While I wonder for those that wonder if God is sleepy in the morning. Is How many people had to know who was in order for me to know who. A shame really to those that had to be told who I was. a person might have thought very bad of God. Then someone comes along and tells them it's me. Very Bad.

The weather, how's the weather going to be. I'd hate to live in a place where the tourist are more important than the rest of the population. How stupid can a country or town be. Year after year treating your citizens as being not as important as these visitors who come. Really most places that indorse such activity also require their citizens to treat the people better than they would their own family. It's sick. The only reason I could see to travel that way is to visit relatives that a person hasn't seen in a long time.

If you've ever been in a city that's hosted one of those big tourist events you can see it every where. The trees are sick from all the metal in the air. The super structures. Half their low end population looks like they've been fucked by the "new" richy rich. The upper end looks like they caught A.I.D.S.

Economically their screwed. Don't believe me visit Sydney in a few years. They spend so much trying to cover it up. City to city. Town to town. That in the end, their really only making it worst. N.A.S. that's going to be worst. Faster perhaps, might take a little less time, but hey hey. They had to have it their way. In their minds there is no way that God is right. Can not be, will not be, They can not except the program.

Stupid people living out stupid lives. Life goes on. Those that admit life is hard, go on and have great lives. Ever been to one of the cities of talked about. Seen them at the cafes. Hanging their asses right out into the street. That's not what I'm talking about. Real life, real fun, real enjoyment. Being their long enough watching them die. There's the party. Like around here. One building after another. More and more people. Like watching a enlarged meat grinder carrying your troubles away.

It's a good time. Gee's now that you think about it, while most cities are probably going gee gosh it's back to the eighties, yea hah !!! We can definitely say. Thank fuck. Thank fuck it ain't the eighties. I can imagine what that must have been like. Your not God. You've got to make the connections. Someone bumped into someone or something then they're carted off. Over and over again. The religious freaks are making out okay, but not as good as you would think.

Etc.

At least where we are we're happy it's 2003. I mean shit. Have you been to if one more person says, "just like the eighties." or "the eighties are coming back." Don't you want them to die!!! I do I want them to die right away. That's the problem I've got to cool down I've got to let them die naturally. Real disease, real instant, real pain and injury.

Oh, I'll let you know someday how I found this free time. Anyway back to the N.A.S. This is funny I know... There are more miracles going on than ever before. The greatest, but these are the freakiest. Is this a miracle. Sure eventually. There is a movie out with the disease N.A.S. in it. Then I'm watching the lasted "they suck I'm the real deal..." on the Tele. For something to do they put on a band called you guessed it, "NAS".

The bands like. I feel a vibe, do you feel a vibe. I'm freaken, I mean freaken. No I don't run around and stuff. I don't have enough money. Latter like the next day, I'm at the mall. Sure enough I look under Rap/R&B and there it is NAS. Not just one album or two albums but about four. Fucken rocken

I don't have the time or the money to get into a new band right now. That's great. I'll by them latter, when they are done making albums.

Anyway I thought it was fun.

Lousy Music.

What up with Dat? Anyway I just thought I’d tell you the one about the musicians that sucked. There’re weren’t any and it was all fine and Good. Then we were thinking though. Why not have musicians that sucked and everything. It’d be cool we could make fun of them and stuff and then when their women come onto us we could scream because you call that a come on. I’m dying hear. I’m wondering if your psychologically damaged or something. What do you do next all get together naked and stare at each others backs.

Fuck. Your lucky to have you looks when you do, you could end up with no one with you ever. The cloths coming off was enough for me. You see that lack of soul there. I was there the dream the she’s right hot the beauty the whole fucken thing. The choice in men should have been my first clue.

Sex-droid twelve reporting. Last scene in trolling for dollars. "I wonder, could she have A.I.D.S. yet." Sheesh A.I.D.S. she’s lucky if the whole on the inside of her crotch don’t attract strange unknown things from the corner of my mind.

Then again could be verbal abuse.

Ahhhh death it seems everybody wants me to talk about death. All right death everybody dies goes onto the after-life. Those that don’t end up in hell purgatory or other strange neurotic places of my mind go to eternity. We’re there really are only a few people who might totally fuck up and think they are permanent. Those and those that follow them will go to the after-life. To be sent to hell purgatory or any other strange place I can think to send them on their way.

I know that might not be the big death talk we’re talking about. I hope to get to that latter. I really do. You’ll find I’m really just discovering what that is all about. Sure I know a bit about the who of it. That’s right upstairs there where I just wrote.

But the what the what is coming and it seems to me that they want the what right there the whole fucking thing right near the beginning so I’ll be tired and week near the end. That might happen you never know. It’s possible too that that I might enjoy a rerun or two that I might enjoy hearing the same song again. That I might want to enjoy the same parting the same separation. The joy of the universe being better either way. The joy of the universe being way (the-fuck) better either way not so much of that these days. Same old same old. Never a dull moment. That sort of thing.

Like that big pinball scene in the sky. I’m know what I am. You might fight you might try not to know who you are. Fight too hard though and I’m going to kill you. The thought, "Death does the killing." That’s what. I could eat that with a worm. No, death is change same as always. The earth always changes. When the leaves fall in fall. When the river reaches the sea. Bugs in winter fruits in fall. Everywhere and everything that person used to do, say hello to, kiss hello and good-bye. Are all changed. Things that a person moves around a house. The air they breath. The candles they lit. The place where they bought their pizza from.

All different from one persons death. Now if you want to know what my life is like. Many people die all over the world. Different numbers in different cities all affecting everything that goes on. Those stories of all the lives all the thoughts all the money all the air they breathed changed.

Those are stories of those that are left changed fitting into other stories a little bit different than they did the day the hour the minute the moment before.

Never the same never to be swept under the rug. From the evilest fuck fuck; my personal Satan. To the friendliest super mom. Their lives have affected and changed those lives of the people they touched. It’s all caught up in the what we do.

You think your such a great delivery person you bring food to the little old ladies in a building maybe one of them is great. You’re the super greatest pizza delivery guy ever. Nothing could go wrong. Then all of a sudden she dies. Your now the guy who takes money to the misers up on the 6^th floor. You’re a shit.

Remember the shits up there earlier in the story the ones who go to hell. That’s what you are. Your life is based on what other people do. Your depending on the beautiful girl to always be there for you. Your just a peace in someone else cog. Living a life where the worst ting on earth is getting in an accident. Unable to face the reality that your life is stuck in AI created buy another man or me?

Because that nice women in that building or those students that need there floors waxed have to have work done. It’s not required that you go to hell. In reality though. You might want to keep in mind that real people have lived real lives. Your life of depending on who you help and when you help them is stupid. When you die you’re going to hell. Truthfully it’s nobodies business but mine who goes to hell or not.

Ohhh little worker man. That’s great we hope you do. We hope you work real hard. Remember though "hard work never got anybody anywhere," do you know what that means. It means that you can work hard all you’re life, good job and everything, and still go to hell.

Going on to eternity, or staying eternal really. Is based more on who you help. Now your not aloud to look at anybody’s soul or anything like that. Getting paid to help people though it’s a great job it’s great work. No though it do not affect who’s going to hell or not. You see I make those decisions and while your clinging to your job of the helper bee. I’ll laugh my ass off should you die. I’ll think it was the biggest joke in the fucking world.

How’s that I’m new at this….

Heh heh heh.

I Thought You Meant Death

You meant what’s it like to kill. Well I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you. I mean it’s kind-a like on of those fight things. Like if you want to get into a fight. The best thing to do is find someone else who is looking for a fight. Then you two and or four or three fight and if no one gets killed it’s called a fight.

Killings different. In the situation above you could call that killing which it is in a court of law. As far as weather or not it is to kill though no it is not the same as killing. Me killing different. As, I also do the judging. Anybody or people I would have to kill are at a huge disadvantage. I can just skip the killing and go about with the judging. Judging is easy. Ohhhh did you live a good life. Did you save all your fuck ups till the very end. That’s too bad I really feel for you. Decided to bug a friend or bug a brother. No sorry I got this place though it’s hot. You’d like it. It’s the bomb!!! Ohhh you might have to relive the same mistake over and over again though. No sorry that’s the best I can do. It’s that easy.

Shit half you people never did too much anyway.

Got to shut it down I hear the bathroom calling.

Music.

I was just at a record shop and we were talking about music. Ahhh what a relief. We talked about punk-rock music. Not my favorite. I’m playing some right now. Fun though. How with enough movement, enough interest is generated and that interest can become enough to get some financial mojo going.

Once you got some mojo going then your really "in trouble". Then you have a chance to get out-a dodge. Get out-a dodge is an old expression. It means like in those old wild west movies. You know your life is pretty much heading towards a bullet in the head or an untimely death of one kind or other. Then when you get your mojo going there is a chance for one or two or a few of you to actually do something with your life.

Rare, but sometimes it happens.

Music though, sometimes it does happen though, like right now there are a few people trying to get something going on in "the scene." The scene is another expression, you might find out what that means if you live long enough.

Anyway, one of these groups is like the closed group. You’ve all seen it. You can only go to their shows only their music are you supposed to listen too etc.

In the other camp(s) as far as I can tell you have a choice. You can go to their shows, The other peoples shows. So far that’s it though. "The scene", around here is stuck in a two or three choice sinerio

Maybe it’s the different night thing. Like you take this night and we’ll take this night and eventually there is something to do every night. One thing one choice each night. Just like when they were kids. Mom and dad telling them what they could do each night. Those are the choices.

My goal and I can guess, hint hint, that the goal of a lot of people is not to live the same life they had as a child.

It’s dull, boring and really cuts down on anything magical happening around here.

In my world there are at least three great things to do on any night for anybody. Some nights have multiple options.

One quick Canadian note. If your on the east coast and your wondering if there is a great scene out here to get into. No there isn’t it’s the same old sad we take mob money and complain about the lame turn out and "turn off" after the show.

On a lighter note there may be a few men who are sick of all the shit. Who might decide to travel in there journey to find who.

I hear you over there on the coast. You gorgeous women. Begging for it. Let me tell you the truth though. If my women wasn’t here I would have moved there long ago.

Ohhh yeah one last note from the men out here. Don’t fall for "slow mo mocam and the boys" as Saint Johner’s, Saint Johner’s they ain’t.

Why I Seem Not To See Romance

I don’t seem to see romance because I’m the type of guy who sees the romance when I’m with the chick. You know when I think about it. I see the romance every time I’ve ever really thought about her. Being with the same woman for ever and ever. Like man to you that might sound bad or ruff, but to me that is the balls to the wall the be all end all, and what it is all about.

I mean fuck, If your like me you’ve wondered the pre-universe for ever always searching for something permanent. Pre-matter. Pre-thought really but something something that you can cling onto when it’s all falling down. Something you can hold onto when it’s good or ruff. A person you can hold up when when things are great there right there it’s all permanent it’s not going to change. Love. Ideas concepts. Pre-eminent thought. Always been there always will.

These concepts thoughts are older than the universe. Love hope dream desire. Ever heard of the concept of hope. Well those that think it’s there private little word for hell are going to have real troubles real problems. I mean it man. I’m sick of the under-ground sick of all there wining about being the same shit in a different pile. No they are not. The only problem with the people with badges or rights to kill is that they think it gives them a free ride.

The other side the other side has no badges is fighting to get wasted and looks at their kids like there some sort of feed for their local hit-man to warm up on before they get to the big one.

Concepts Before Time.

Yes well this is the book of what, so I’ll have to get into the before the thought of man others life things of a God but not God.

I’ll have to get into that a little or it wouldn’t be much of a what now would it. Before there was you there was plenty for one thing let me tell you. I’ve taken baths more interesting than my entire life. The ideas I was sort-a hoping to get into though were those of love thoughts desires. What’s the big Cahuna to me. The big cahuna to me it like an entire world might be interesting in like a few years you know every body who made it. Everybody I’d care to see. And I run the whole thing.

Before time there where concepts like spheres. "let’s make planets," that sort of thing. "cubes, what’s a cube?" sugar. That sort of thing. What will we hold it up with? "space" that sort of thing.

Just me, me all alone. The worst life ever; it was not. Quite a bit of fun actually. A ball. A party. Of course you mother (grandmother) might not have been there. She might not have meant much to me, but what does she mean to you. Eh? That’s the fucken question. Did she raise you to spit on Christ at the mall. You would think so. The way some of them act. Don’t let the new Mob rule you or your thoughts, give them as little time as possible. Do not concern yourself with them.

If there is a new school, a no school and an old school, which there is, then they are dead school.

How to live, how to survive, how to enjoy life versus how t kill yourself. Humma I wonder who is going to win. I mean it’s like right complicated.

The simplicity of the fool.

It’s cool though, I dig Jesus. Because he makes the chicky poohs come around. I mean who the fuck are these people. Are we to believe they will obtain lives. Was it something cool to say in front of the parents, or was it a way to rip you off at the mall.

Really anybody. Anybody here ever hang out with some rich parent dicks and not get ripped off. Anyone, I mean did you get a free book after the parents invested in the album or movie you like before it was released.

Remember when it all comes down there entire life as cards they’re going to want to blame it on you. It’s going to come down to them blaming you or God. God is a person too he has enough shit on his hands for any person to handle.

So there is will be blame God for something you do. Or take responsibility for your actions.

My being responsible is not laughing too hard at them as they all caught A.I.D.S. and died.

Ahhhh cadets that’s were the real fun was.

Excuse me I just had a space cadet moment. Like us yesterday. When I like most people drifted into a world we’re it was like everybody listened. Now I know you people make fun of me for not carry about shows and stuff like that like you want me too.

I care I care about having something to talk about. Like if you blind or deaf or you know or care about someone who is or does. Then you should give them a call or help them out. This is way beyond the normal shit. They got cheesy motherfuckers trying to get them to deliver their cheesy mother-fucker shit. They most have lost their main dealers somewhere. They’re looking for some people with no eyes, no ears, and truthfully with a fine sense of smell.

I mean what was it man the K.G.B. what took them out. Was it you was it me? You think they know, you think they’d believe. Nah not me. Never try to make sense with a person who is trying to be a potato. They’re not very good at it. But they try really hard.

Time before matter.

That’s how I guess. Nothing more. What is more about what I can do, what I’m really like. Is he really up tight. Private person. Am I shy. Verily complicated. It, verily, means, sometimes I’m complicated and sometimes I’m the most easiest person to get along with. Verily like if math went from 3 to 7 then there was an x and x could equal from 3 to 7 then that would be a very verily x. an x that went from 3 to 6. Well you get me. You do the math.

It’s that simple. Life is that simple. I must go one. Shy no complicated. Fuck yes. Actually if you look at physics all alone, I guess you could tell that I’m very extremely complicated. Then someone will come along and solve a big one and hey it’s still calculus to some people but to many I’m less complicated.

The physics of electricity moving through something very small. Compute. He he. I care I really care I really do. I hear your sad. I hear your lonely. I know you care. For something like that to change takes time though. People aren’t robots there not machines. You want real change non of that fake shit. Then you got to wait, cause there are people out there just like you. Waiting hoping dreaming to meet someone like you.

Time what is time when you have all the time in the world to time. Could it be another way to get with me. That’s what it’s all about. What’s with the differences with the different sides of me. They aren’t in conflict. Some people like some parts of me more than others and that is what I’m all about.

I’m the friendly guy. The last time I check there was only one person on this earth I came into it wanted to screw. I changed that they sold out. Onto the bigger better life. Esperanto, I’m all done. Would I go back to someone who sold out. Fuck no!!! They’ll do it again it worked out so good the first time.

Remember if all they have left is you taking them back to complete their version of the perfect life. Then they’ve probably done stuff that no cow would forgive and they sure the hell didn’t put you on the top of their list. So could it possibly be that some mad ass woman has separated you from her in order to get with her.

Mad ass, mad ass mad ass.

Hahhah hahhh hahhha hha. The hardest thing old school freaks have to do is not laugh in their face. And if you have a badge, not a fake one, you really don’t even have to do that.

Nature

So far in my life I love nature more than any man or woman I’ve ever met. To the point of structures made out of natural substances. I don’t have to say I don’t know what it is. I know what some of it is. Some of it is the being alone thing. Many people might say that God is all alone when he is all alone. No actually sometimes I’m so never alone it would freak some "young" people out.

Being alone in nature though is the biggest. There is a people who understand me. Peace. Real peace non of that fake ass shit. Real peace is like the summer morning when you see the rabbit on the way to being killed. You know he’s done something wrong. His clan has forsaken him. He no longer exists to them almost to his or hers very mother. Off he goes to destroy the morning calm. The killing of him might take till late in the afternoon. He’ll go though, and the woods will go on. It’s peaceful in the morning. No one wants to here from the humans. I’m a freak. How did you know I was God. How do they know. Like I said I’m the freak.

I get to experience the, "You really are you." It’s not just fake. The real deal. Fun Bri. Interstellar-Bri. Right there in the woods. Fun!?? You ain’t seen fun, if the woods outside of a nuclear power plant can remember me, What’s your excuse.

Like if you had a long lost friend and you hadn’t seen them in a long time. Especially if you met them when you where an adult. They show up and guess what. They’re the same. A little bigger that summer. A little more pumped up. There though, the personality they fell in love with.

That’s the way it works the whole fucking thing, my mind. I build things and if they love me they are a "keeper". Like the forest the trees. Even annoying little bugs.

Love is a two way street for most of you. All of you really. But me, that’s what. I build things, some that move and shake. And if they fall in love with me. I keep them They’re keepers, should they pass away or fall away, I’ll find them. There is no other way.

Here’s a glimpse at my personality, for younger people out there. Not once have I met a bad, I use the word bad, person who loved me. I’ve seen a few rotten fruit on a bad day. But never never has a bad person ever loved me. It would go against they’re very nature.

Fake it in public. Make others think they feel that way. That shits as old or older than the house I’m living in.

I mean I’ve seen people command whole armies to their very rotten death, all based on them, that man convincing them that I loved him. That I reached down from heaven and loved him. No I’m some sort-a weird-o… freak. Humanity just like the woods. That’s the world we are heading too.

If you’ve ever been there ever hunted ever tried to grab the wrong fish. I can tell you it’s a scary experience. They no like. To go in there and try to take wom-enthing out that doesn’t want to be taken out. Not good ain’t going to happen. Just like in the real world. It gets worst and worst. Don’t try and learn about evil. It wont help you and it sure the _______ wont help me.

Ever seen dear cross the road when you have time to drive slow. To really pause the car and see them lead their young across the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that care out of a human being. Not once so far in my life.

Maybe it comes from licking each others arses. Who knew. A sense of humor too. They like it tough. They live in packs. They care about each other. Failure is failure. Just like in the real world.

Ahh Real Life

I’ve made a decision that affects a whole lot of countries. The three closest countries will now behave as if I said now right away, must change to say. There’s probably about forty offices world wide going, Great, excellent. Something to do with the day. But no we have to listen to traitor. The liar of faith. He'’ wicked ways, because of this because of that. No Dude real God real personality.

You ever notice how many people walk up to me like they have my time clock or like they talk to me like I’m their wife, or worst husband, or just don’t know how to behave. God dude. That’s right no bouncing it off the TV, no other excuses or things. Just God. You talk to him/them like they’re God. If your having your holy day please avoid me. I’m a very holy person but You’d be a where. Because technically I could be having a holy minute too. Might be healing the sick in a foreign country or something like that.

You never know what a mind like mine is up too. You never do. I might be dreaming about how. Bob and betty get themselves out of the double death trap or I might be thinking. No shit that’s like asking a guy to walk a mile on a tight-rope. I’ll come up with something different. Shit if your escape someone else with the woman you love then I better have Them all covered eh!? All the possibilities. One chance what are we supposed to do, wear tights.

The Elaborate Cover

I have no cover. I’m what you call a spy or an agent. The smartest thing I’ve ever seen a country do. Make me not an Israelite. "King of Israel" coming though" Yes in most countries I’m God and that’s it. It’s fun, if you haven’t clued in yet. I love being God. Kindness I love people who are kind. Kind and love me, you’re a keeper. Now as I was saying. I have a real job in my country and that my friend is smart. Excellent couldn’t be brighter. I’m also God here. Being God’s been my secret identity so long it’s almost as much fun blowing that cover as it is being God. Now most counties get the God and that’s good that great.

Kind each and every day. Sometimes being kind is staying home and making the suffer. So that is that the rest of the world is pretty much stuck with me being God. If I see your country it will be as a person on vacation and I better be treated that way. God, down, and on with the beauty that makes your country great.

Why is your country great. What makes it not the country beside it. Why is your country the greatest. What makes a Canadian drewl on a bad day and go yeah we got the sun on a Good day.

I’m in heaven!!? Well shit the last time I checked you were in heaven too. Sorry it couldn’t be perfect, sorry it’s not everything you’d hoped it be. Of course I’m not finished. I’ve got thoughts about things. People who ascended. How are they going to get a S.I.N. were do they find employment. We’ve got real problems, real life. Real things going on.

I mean shit you think it’s all over and we’re done and we pack it up and go home. I know your used to taking the lose. Used to me being kidnapped. Beat on shipped somewhere and returned in a paper back.

All those passes cards and rules. Great shit. But where is the average citizen in such a world. Illegal citizen ship. That’s what it looks like. I mean some serious fucken workers here. Real people who’ll love real rules. All that’s great.

In case the world hasn’t noticed. It’s the year 2003 A.D. here and well you need to realize that I think it’s great that your clean up after world war two. Mean while though even in kidnappedtivaty I’m moving on going forward. Real life must continue. Who’s waiting for them. The people who break the rules. Shit they can get you a job a roof over your head in no time.

We’ll wait. I know I’d wait. Of course will I wait forever. No. That’d be stupid. Will I wait a week a month a year. What will go on in that time. Are the people who look after those things going to be so busy looking at their TV or out their window to do their work. Shit man there’s no need for new departs and special services for that stuff. Real persons in real jobs going. Yeah I can handle this but I need more.

You start from the top like in any company and you work your way down. Till the lowest person at that office knows what’s going on. What’s going down.

Real life real miracles. The hardest part the average citizen has around here is realizing that if they haven’t seen a miracle in a week; they still have to know what miracles can take place. Magic nature call it a butt wipe if you have to.

In this city sometimes the hardest thing is to realize that miracles other than people disappearing do exist. Might seem strange. Might be the bizarrest thing you’ve ever seen. Maybe even the smile of the right girl on an otherwise lost to "the man" day.

What Is God?

What am I. Let me see. I’m a person place and thing. I move so I guess I’m a verb too. Do I do things While I move yes. So I guess I’m an adverb. Do I change my mind about things. Yes I guess I do that too. Even about what happened if you look it that way. So I guess I’m a conjugating as well.

People know of me they follow who I am. So I guess I guess I’ve got personal pronouns as well. Interesting isn’t it. Is there anything left really. I’m all those things and yet there were people who would try to find the thing I can’t do and fit that into their life. Gee’s there really isn’t that much time left for them.

Even with the day Job, I have more rights than anybody else in this city. Include the God factor in that and I guess your pretty fucked. Not much I can’t do. You might ask if God can do so many of those things, how come I can’t… fly or something? Well just because I can do something doesn’t mean you can do it. That would be silly. I’d never try and do something like that. Would I. Nah that’d bee silly. Like if I made a world once were everybody was equal. Then in time even in that world I’d start to stand out. I’d become slightly more powerful and different. Almost as if what I was was what I was and no matter what I did it wasn’t going to change that.

Funny really. There’ve been three of those other worlds. They all failed. The goal or idea of being just another human being is unknown to me. Stupid, no! Not stupid just a being out there in space trying to make friends. Make friends sounds kind-a strange when you think about it. But yes I’ve tried it. And some of the stuff we enjoy here is a result of it. What is a light bulb if you were the only person in the world if not a friend. What are toys to a child, friends? Mostly for me at least. Not because I don’t have any friends, but because that is what life was like for a while. (for me.) me and the other light bulbs hanging around trying to be each others friends. I know sounds dumb sounds stupid. But hey it worked. We had a good time.

A car, a way to get from point a to b. What is that if not a combination of friends. How are the light bulbs and the machines getting along. Probably not that well. They weren’t designed for you. They were designed for us all hanging out.

We used to be metal. We were all bond together and we moved and changed shape and became different shapes. But of course though in time. There were no sections or pieces. Let’s say an area grew different than the rest and well it wasn’t good because that metal wasn’t designed to have any differences. When the differences showed up it went against the master designer. The master designer was inside the metal and there wasn’t time from the master designer to inform them that I was the master designer. So it fucked up. Ate it self you name it. "Not Good"

Then there was adventure. I made myself so different that I would stand out in a crowd of anybody on any planet. How’d that work out. Not as bad actually. I could get laid to save a heep. Sex wasn’t invented. We just basically went around killing each other. Good times. Of course eventually it had to end. In a concept that was based entirely on, to kill, well can you imagine. I was pretty good. I knew what I was doing? Doubtful. One slice of my blade and whole army disappeared. So then it was off to see a king I should have said the king. Anyway he wanted to learn how his troops (they called them men), back then. Could do the same. I knew I was God, but I knew it would never be the same. So what did I do I refuse to tell any body. I waited till me and my friend were all alone and I told him. It killed him. End of program. I had forgotten or couldn’t remember, because of the pressure, of the king what the kill switch was. So nope that was it telling them I was God was the kill switch and I told my friend and he died. All hell broke loose. And I was far enough away that I died a merciful death.

I guess I won. I guess I did come up with the concept of friend. I knew what it was and I went packing. I mean some serious kick ass planning. This world might have been built in seven days. Check out light, hint hint. But the planning. That’s what all this waiting for things like flying, well I don’t know if you’ll fly. That’s what’s taking so long for stuff like that though. I know it seems like a long time to some and to others,,, no it’s a long time. Well that’s the thought though. A lot of planning. A lot of knowing were I’m going to be. A lot of people might have tried to stop me. But that wont happen. For one thing the time reset takes about 1.3 seconds so you can imagine how long it really takes me to be able to do all this with a couple of sticks and a pair of tweezers.

Remember I didn’t give up on the "bulbs" I didn’t give up on metal. The adventures though. I’d have to say that’s were friends were created. Of course since the creation of sex, romance, and rock and roll. Everything should be all right.

Language. Did I say adventure. I meant to say language.

Heh, heh silly me. I hope that didn’t start any fights.

I’m caught In A Mystery

Well I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I put the first part of this book up there on the web. It seems like a lot of people think I’m done. Sad really I’d only just begun to talk about my self. You see though I’m caught in a mystery. Many babies are being conceived. Many thoughts are being consumed.

What else can I say. One God for ever and ever. Not yet. "I ain’t all there." I’m just past who on my way though what. I think I might have a personality split. Maybe I could get myself to listen to Lizard. Ripped in half. It’s, "to me" a song about when you racing, trying to get a lot of things done. The all of a sudden you hit upon a choice that has two choices and you feel about 50% towards either way.

Funny really. If you ever get there sober it’s quite sombering. I had one once were I paused for many a moment. Time minutes. Drifting by. I could have easily thought of many thoughts or possibilities. The thoughts though just kept going over and over though. I chose to look at them that way. Quite fun. Ripped in half. Sometimes having any choice at all back in the eighties would leave a person ripped in half.

For now I’m ripped in many particles. Floating voids forming shape and becoming the wishes and substances need to get a few people through an otherwise difficult situation.

Ahhhh peace.

Autobiography

Autobiography. Nah this can’t be that. I can’t do the auto biography. I gave it a go once and what I discovered was this. It would take me about ten pages to sum up a night I had over ten years ago.

That’s a lot of writing. For anybody. That was not even the most interesting or entertaining evening. So there there will be no autobiography. I hope you, my loyal fans get a kick out of the movies and some of the books out there about me. Like the fake auto biographies. The This is how God thinks and acts movies. Truthfully I hope they sink. I hope they sink ships and vessels. Me I know who I am, I don’t need to see some carneis version of who I am paraded all over the television or the movie screen.

Last time I check hitler was the only one who made movies like that. Let’s leave it there. Let’s leave it in the past.

Evil folks, evil. Last time I checked I wasn’t evil. By the modern definition. Any Knight, Any warrior with a badge and a gun would be considered evil. People who fight for freedom. Ideals a country holds dear. They’re not evil. Their right.

I can only hope that your discovery of who I am, while your involved in the who you are is as fun for you as it was for me. What is fun eh. Finding out you can crawl yourself out of a murder hole and smile about it the next day. Passing your drivers license. The screaming agony as you know you’ll miss the next turn and you’ll find your self frozen in time. Wondering what the fuck anybody ever taught you about life. Did they know life were they ever alive. Maybe that’s the difference.

I can imagine what it’s like to be human. I know you all so well, but it’s not the same as being human. Faith!? Not being human is about floating. It’s about finally being able to be cold. It’s about floating and disappearing and coming back. And maybe next time having time to get a bag of chips for someone you love.

What Am I? What Is God.

You see yes, I’m caught up in something pretty big here. The biggest of bigs if you ask me. In the middle of it right while it’s going on though. I’m becoming myself. Everything God is. Every love fiber of my being. Everything that makes God God I’m becoming. That’s just the what, wait till we get to where. It’ll be fun.

You see I’m very glad to stay here, and I’m sure there are a lot of theories about what people are made of and how it relates to God. Like going way back and all that. The truth is though. My existence is so different than yours. Ill always be more different. Is becoming more different and apparent everyday.

Real fun just like in the real world. They’ve been trying to destroy this party for so long. Like your son’s and daughters birthdays. How they try and crush those simple joys’ by trying to take them away. Me, though, God. I know when you see your son up there working or raising kids of their own. I know that your "freaking out" as we say.

You’re a success. I know that’s a terrible word these days. That’s what it is when you’ve done that you’ve succeeded. Maybe your of the other camp though. You’ve had a son or daughter switch over. Don’t give up. Until we shoot the fucker and the bodies been blown off the face of the earth or they are dead. If you don’t have a "badge and a gun." Don’t give up.

I’ve seen addicts quit more stuff than the biggest addicts. It can be done. Until then though. It’s another dollar. Another bit of information. More movement all on the other side. And they will lose.

Who raised you, how did you get by. I can only hope that the generations to come that have the huge advantage of me being here, "long time". Live up to our hope of what they can become. They aren’t gong to have as long to make their mistakes. They are going to have too many friends to hang out with over there on the "dark" side.

I ramble though. What is it about rambling. You know I was thinking something absolutely funny last night. I’ve been going on about how much I love myself. True. The it occurred to me. I don’t actually talk about myself too much. It’s at most a story I’ve done. Or a story about someone else told though a song they did or the neighborhood they are from.

I’m thinking to myself. I must talk about myself sometime. I’m not just a series of commands. Then we’re going out to the car and I’m doing it while thinking about it. I’m talking about the record done then or the thought I had then. Now I’m thinking that maybe it’s the time of year. So I’m looking forward and thinking about all I’ve heard or been through. Funny really.

Maybe your thinking if I stayed with the right woman long enough I might change that. I mean maybe. I think that ship sailed though. I mean my mind alone is "C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D". I can’t image, the things I’m going to have to worry about with her.

First. I have to worry about not blowing her face off with my exhalation. The not to burn her face off with my voice. Spontaneous movement. Have to be careful about that. Once in a while I have a thought, rarely really rarely. Usually I have thoughts. You could choose to look at them as a series of thought but they are really usually just a thought that is more than one thought. Then I suppose there are thoughts that are a series of thoughts that are a serious of individual thoughts. An I guess it’s possible to surmise that these thoughts can be verying number for the individual ones or strength for the others.

So my breath, my voice, my solidness. My mind bending need to know the truth about my self. To very mystery… Can you see me with a woman that had to here the end of every thought I expressed. I’d never get to take a breath.

The other two things I can think of off the top of my head; One is the fact that I move around very fast. I’m very careful about the floor and that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily have to make sudden moves. And moving important things when she’s in the can will just have to be something I start to do.

The other thing I was going to mention was the idea that I can, emphasis on can, change the speed or the topic I’m talking about very fast. Like motron fast.

Well maybe not motron fast.

The other one and I can not emphasize this one clear enough. Is the fact I mean flip fucken real fact, know when I’m listening to a bad idea. Like if she was to come in with a bad idea for a trip or the date of the trip or a bad location, on vacation or something like that. I know it. I mean I flip fucken freak know it.

Never have I even to my knowledge even slept with someone who understood this. It’s like the master of I love you I love you turns into the ugly monster from down the street. Nothing worst. Ho yeah and I’m always right.

That doesn’t mean that when I’m hanging out at a shop or a sitting place. What we call the village in the modern world. That I always let them know the truth about their thoughts our their actions. I think even that I’m getting use to this idea that I might let them seem to be right about something. It might make me feel better.

I don’t know what that’s like. In fact I hope I don’t know what a lot of things are like from a human perspective. I’m not human. Nope not me. Not human. God.

Me God. I know I’m a one woman man I know it. Because if you look at the causes of divorce in a normal straight world and you take the things I’ve’ talked about. Too perfect always right. About everything etc. Then you can guess what it’s like to be around a person who tries to be that way.

Okay perfect, I mean it’s not always easy to be perfect in bed. It’s going to happen things are going to go off before, like you’d want them to etc.

Ohh the stuff I could tell you not form my personal experience. The things I know the dark hidden secrets of the couples that stay together. Sex smexes let’s get down to the booty.

I will now insert a picture in an effort not to ostracize the other half of the human race.

Me, Me, Me

We will pause soon in this book of mine for "the laws" of relativity to catch up. It’s fun to discover what I am. I think it is fun. Was it fun to discover who I was. NO fuck no. It wasn’t fun at all. You made it not fun. People tried very purposeful to make it not fun. A rich persons birthday was spoiled. Hey let’s fuck over Jesus for the bad birthday. What the fuck he’s only Christ you know shit like that. Bye bye, just the way I like it.

You have no idea how much I hate people like that. Absolutely hate them from the biggest brightest human to the lowliest of trees straight down to the center of the earth. People and people like them.

Anyway that’s about as much time as I spend on my hate. But if your reading this and your countries all dried up. Lie a desert or something. Or there are too many hills to cross. You better keep that in mind I never forget.

I mean fuck I’ve got storms brewing for people yelling at my window. It was fun to find out who. And I’m not just talking about a name here. We’re talking the real deal. Like reading the bible and you know it's’ me. And I like look at the world and go. Shit, I am just as strong. Even stronger, some of that stuff used to take twenty, ten years. Now fuck half the death going on is instant. I don’t get it. (well I do). Over here they blame it on TV. What’s the excuse over there. I mean I can see a few dinks praying for the cold to come back for a joke or something. But like say I take out a large farm land in Africa. I don’t want to hear them wining about it for ten years. They did something wrong live with the consequences. Grow up. Pretending to be God. Todays, underground (hint hint) government. Is the most pathetic excuse for not living in the real world I’ve ever seen.

Anyway like I was saying that was discovering who. Like when I wrote in my book the plan. The high holy one. Like me up on a hill. All by myself. That is what it was like. Why didn’t I tell my friends I knew. Because I didn’t trust half of them and I didn’t trust the other half of them around the ones I didn’t trust.

Anyway, who what a hoot. What though. I don’t know seems a little different. For one thing it seems like our countries getting it ands back. Don’t fuck with a Canadian they said. They used to like that, the friendliest people on earth. For that reason alone they shouldn’t be fucked with. I mean that’s "old school"

What am I, girlfriend, good-guy fun. So much fun you don’t want to fuck with it. I mean shit if it’s wrong to fuck with a friendly, what’s it like to fuck with a good friendly person like me. Not good.

I just thought of something funny. You know how I was going on about my early attempts at life. You should have seen the fun I used to have before all this. I mean one time I’m there and I decide to invent this wheel thing that the more it "spun" the more "joy" I’d feel. Of course I didn’t put a brake on the thing. Sure enough. I mean fuck I like fun, but this thing just kept going and going. Turn it off I’d of said but who would have heard.

Don’t get me started on the attempt to shift to pain to get the thing to stop. Fuck funny. Hey, I guess I used to swear a lot back then. I trying to think of a really funny one. Okay fire before there was anything to burn besides myself. That was funny. Of course I didn’t stay gone for long.

I practiced Kung-fu on my own for thirty years. Cool, think about it I hadn’t seen a girls ass so it wasn’t like I’d thought of much else to do with my time. It’s weird though. Do you think it was associated with that first disappearing thing. No the third one. And I’m not even talking about the third try language thing.

It was adventure, trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You see people start to think there are higher powers than me because I can’t see everybody I’d like to in the world at the drop of a hat. The truth is. My times sort of bound up here. You know, if like your at home and your waiting for your kid to come back. Maybe, I know this sounds like maybe I’m being tight with this, but maybe he’s on a list. Because it all relates to reality. Like dude, I know the expression I’ve seen some shit in my day, is becoming the coming place. But real life is I try my fucken hardest. That’s the truth. Every fiber of my being is based on I know I gave it what I had to give. Safely at home or starving in the woods. I know I love myself. Never wanted to do anybody any wrong. So I try and I think maybe there is a neater side to this TV generation, or what ever their excuse is. People aren’t walking up to me to ask them to reassemble there, let’s say, left kidney at the drop of a hat. I mean shit yes. It’s on the burner. All that sort of thing. But you’ve got to stop paying the man. Go back to being regular, go back to being normal. No extra money for them. If I find a way to find and reanima-teleportate your kid back to you. Beat the shit out of them for putting though such shit to begin with.

Humor warning; try not to cut off a limb though, it might have taken me all night to re-animate that thing.

Ohh if our reading this off the internet or something like that. And the format is different than what I first put it in. It as I type it is like one side of those old testament bibles.

The real deal, real God writing the real bible.

Ohh yeah, crapulence crapulence look out for the crapulence. I invented new words before and I can do it again. So don’t push me. I can take being me. Can you take not being necessary. I decided to undo the idea of people helping crating this world. We all went and got jobs when you weren’t looking. Ha ha.

The jokes on you. It’s fun to be real fun to understand why we’ve been screwed over. I’d just like some other people to join me over here were we know it wasn’t the government and all that. Life is not fake. Let’s deal with it and move on with our lives.

And government and all that should try their very best not to fall for old stories from old drunks about how they are the chosen ones. Do I see someone crossing a boarder because they keep saying they are "the chosen one". Grow up.

Like the bitch singing about lucky.. When the fuck did the Brittany Spears hour start running the show. It’s easy to se a world were just God runs the show. It’s as easy as one two three.

So we could try living by our own rules. I mean if you could see the phoning between the filthy rich. I use the world wisely. It’s like watching a bunch of fourteen year olds talking about wanking to Jesus. But they don’t know the words so they just talk and giggle. That’s a lot of fun when you are young but when young are older. You know an din charge of things with real responsibilities. Then it’s time to behave that way. Like real live people living their real live jobs were they earn their real live pay checks. Or "get the fuck out-of dodge".

Ahh, Me, Beautiful Me.

Hi, You might have thought I got sick of talking to myself or that the "laws of Astor-physics" may have prevented me from writing anymore. Isn’t nice that almost all the people who where concerned about this law have gone out and made it worst or harder to continue. Jealousy. They are silly people.

Anyway I’ve already prevented most of what they thought would occur. So I may continue. What is out-there. What came before earth, what was the planning. I already mentioned the fire thing. I wonder what else. Tables chairs. Sure I guess. I don’t really remember sitting on any tables before earth though. Or light bulbs or time or any of those things. Just me. Me me me. Beautiful gorgeous me.

I must say I enjoy myself very much. I am a good person. I give people a chance at life. Many people take it. I enjoy giving people that chance. I once gave myself the gift of eternal life. In a shape. It was very fun for a very long time.

Of course there was the part about not being able to shut the me down. I turned into a lot of thoughts and emotions inside that thing. If a table or a chair gives you a lot of thoughts or emotions that I probably came up with them before too. In there though the only things that would give me thoughts or emotions were feelings.

Have you ever had a feeling. It’s quite fun. First take away anything solid or monetary giving you any thought. Than base your feelings on something someone emotional did. If you think any differently than you did before. Than you have had an emotion.

They flow from one person to the next. In the beginning if no one had an any emotion than you wouldn’t have any either. Unless I did of course. So I suppose you could be getting your emotion from an original source. Or from me. You might find that strange. I do not. I came prepared. I brought my own emotions just in case the emotions I’ve left behind have grown stale.

Anyway as I was saying about feeling or feelings. Say you felt a certain way about that emotion. Well that emotion that gave you feeling is I guess part of me learning what. Cause guess what. That’s me. Hate love passion sexual turn-on. The way the light makes a certain ass look totally hot and another ass look but naked but awful. That’s the light the moon the stars all turning around and dancing though-out time making one ass look better and one ass look wimpier.

Really quite a bit of fun. I enjoy bending light. I enjoy the entire process of being me. I am me. Well recently I’ve decided once again to make a female me. I wont tell you why.

We get together. And she tells me what she knows and well I’d say I tell her what I know but their really isn’t a her, I guess that would be stupid. So in the end we both know each other and you.

It’s funny really I know everybody every thing every fiber of everything in this universe and what it’s thinking. I know how this thought makes most of the week asses squirm. At least around here. I know I know, I know. Now I’m finding out what I can do. I’ve seen who I can do. Who was fun. I thought who was what I was going to be in a way. Now I’m getting into what.

Can you make me teleport? "sure Did you miss your sons birthday?" What birthday? Oh I guess you were too busy teleporting.

Sad really but hey if you think that is what life is all about. I thin if I was a human I’d ask what I might be missing by doing things the easy way all the time.

There are only two types of people who will be going to hell to be very honest. Those that find life too easy. And those that find life too hard.

Ohh did I make the world too hard for you today. Tell it to the judge. Did I make your life too easy. Tell it to my spine I’m sure it could do with the break.

Couldn’t give a fuck. Couldn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t say it as many times as I’d like to I couldn’t give a fuck.

Amen couldn’t give a fuck.

Of course many people give thanks everyday. For just the day sometimes. Many times it’s life. Many many things people thank me for are based on life. Food, warmth, rain.

Truth is though. Humanity could learn a lesion from earth. Thank me for ruling.. You know, as I was saying I love the earth. I love it’s natureific fun side. I love it’s weather beaten earthy side. But one thing I really love about it is it rules.

Even earlier today. A "raven" was chirping outside my window. It brought up this huge discussion about pigeons parks, crying, not talking about crying. Who’s crying. It rocked. I mean a couple of chirps, and you get all that. I think that is great. You know I was just talking to the earth about I really should be ruling it, not "ruling". Remember that old eighties expression "rules." Rules everything rules. Something harmful happens to someone you don’t like. That rules. You hear a great song with a girl you doing. That rocks. Funny I just thought of it that way again. Everything not quite right, with the wrong woman over and over for the rest of your life. That is funny.

Anyway rule. Rule. Rule. You really had to hear the earth though. It argued it’s point very well. Do I really rule it. We’re not talking about he people on it now or the plants or anything. I suppose at some micro point they do connect. Or do they!! Anyway as far as actually sunlight earth planets and alignments and all that I "rule" and the "ruling" does the ruling. Ever notice if God’s (me) is having a bad day the sun light everything really cuts down a little. I notice around here it’s a little more than usual. That has more to do with personal safety though. Anyway that’s that sorry about. But that stuff is ruling and when it’s not being ruled it doesn’t get ruled as well.

I can really see where this whole mother earth thing is from. Me being masculine and all. I suppose it must look like I’m fucking this thing most days.

Really though everything we see everything you are. Everything that is in the universe. It’s all in my mind. Except for the who. The what is almost here too. Then the when and the where will be in my mind a thought I had once about people and parties. Waiting to form and become me. It’s funny really. I love being me. I’m the greatest person I’ve ever met.

Do you feel that way too. That you are the greatest person you ever met. You’ve go to really. If you’ve ever met any famous people it’s really quite peculiar. The ones you’d absolutely hate all love themselves. They love being famous and they like rub it on their skin and stuff. You’d think you’d want to puke. Then you see one of their films or what. And you think, that is a good movie, that is a great sound.

The you could meet a famous person that hates its. Their shall I say individual. Can’t give you a quick stereo-type. Different though, Very different people. Let’s just leave it at that.

What Am I Made Of

I ask myself that very question every night. What am I made of. Paper glue. The stuff that bounces off me and sticks on you. Yes I am that person that funny person. I don’t know how strong I’ll become solid. Maybe mean solid. It’s funny though. I’m probably adapting to a situation that will happen latter or a series of situations. It’s funny really squirming wirm-un. And his need to touch himself when he thinks. If I had to laugh at just one person or way of living it would be that…

Anyway I had to laugh. What Am I…. A composite of nuclei bounded at the sub atomic level… Sub atomic meaning pre-formation of reality at this point. Remember your all who. I’m the what. Ha ha ha everything. Anyway. My molecules (pre-atomic nuclei) are probably slightly more bounded at this point in my life than yours. Not longer bounded. Stronger bounded. Same with bones sub tissue you name it. Is what I am what I do. Not always, but it closely relates to time. So aside from time, most miracles thoughts magics movements and stuff of such primitive nature are not ruled by the body I’m in. They are ruled by me. The big me. The men who invented the weird body that wouldn’t die. The me who invented the universe.

Here’s an old joke. It’s been fun, this universe and everything, but I really must be going. I’ve so many things to go to. Ohh I forgot about you….

I know your not supposed to say funny so soon after a joke, but that’s funny. What is I decided to bug out-ta here. You ever think of that. Some people think they know what is going to happen. All the way though. They think they know it all because they read the bible over and over again. Maybe even The plan. And they say to themselves. I know who he is, I know who he is. I’ve got it all figured out. How’d they do.

Not very well. I know the old school word used to be tourist. Let’s call them… hey let’s just not call them. They’ll want to live some day. Someday they’ll shine down on us and we’ll be in a warmer gentler earth, or we’ll be getting a tan. And maybe we’ll think hey they weren’t that bad. And then you might get a burn on your skin or hit a kid because the sun was too bright that day or something like that and then you might stare up at the, well lit, sky instead of blaming me and yell, "you bastards!!!"

Anyway most people don’t have good parents. I think if I might look at my result sheet. That the best thing to have is strict parents or no parents at all.

Strict parents make sense and idiot parents we could all do without. Like the family that may have fed me. You could be forty years old and they’ll still place their hand on your shoulder and go, "son". Doesn’t matter. Dumb as toast. If the price is right. Souls for sale. Sold. So stupid that you could use a two-bye four to prop their eye lids open and they’ll still find a way to put themselves to sleep so they could put a new coat of paint on they’re lies in the morning.

Like hellions. I find their easier to get along with on their road to hell if you don’t remind them too often. Kind-a drives them nuts. Kind-a makes them mad.

Oh the joy I’ll have being neutral that day. Like fuck. Mcfuck. Chicken fuck. But luck.

Guess what! "Chicken butt."

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard in a punk movie. Guess what!? Chicken butt. If you enjoyed the buck buck chicken jokes and some of the others from the past few days. You might find yourself enjoying a movie called suburbia someday. There are only about three fake ones out there. Not a single fake was luck or a fluke. All just to be annoying.

I wonder if A.I.D.S. was annoying. I guess we shouldn’t listen to rich old men and how they think things should be run. Until I’m rich and old. And I guess we should listen to people who stand in the way, If N.A.S. has anything to say.

Using money to "rule" the earth, and or scene. I can’t wait to see you in the A.T.M. line. I hope it’s okay I’ve only had a little practice with this plague and I’ll pestilence you.

This pester me and I’ll plague you. It’s quite new. It’s like a where’s the humanity thing. You see some people try to take our humanity away and we like fight back with A.I.D.S. and stuff. Until your like yelling up at the sky your hot fiery God of punishment after death yelling. "Humanity, where’s the humanity."

Odds are there will be a man there and he will maybe have a cup of coffee from a machine and walk away when you look at him. You might say to yourself. At least my life is more interesting than yours.

And me and the man or woman will probably laugh at that or what ever your thinking. We probably wont let you know though, or at least we’ll try not to. Because that’s the humane thing to do.

Anyway Back to Me.

Being me is learning to fall. You know how your there and you might have to learn how to walk. Then latter you might have to remember how to lift yourself out of a chair. To walk somewhere. Well me, I’ve got to learn how to fall. I know it’s funny. You might think to your self that there are so many things to do. Why would have to learn how to fall. Well it has to do with astro-physics and the thought that I’m becoming what while we’re all who is real.

I know it sounds great all this becoming myself. You know when I become my who. I would usually shed my skin and everything. It’s quite funny. I then turned to myself and thought. Do I ever really even out. I seem to be growing at about the same amount of time it takes to be able to control myself.

You know like how hard you hit a typewriter. Stuff like that. It’s quite a bit of fun. I enjoy the weirdness the most. It’s true. I enjoy turning into shade when I’m hanging. It’s fun. Some people might get to turn into air and reappear latter because their lives are in trouble or something like that. It only cost you time. I get to turn into shadow and kind-a hang there eventually. It’s quite fun.

You see I’ve learned something from all those three other worlds. I can’t be you. I have been you for a while on this earth. And it seems quite human. Quite humane. But I can’t be you. By definition. I’ve got to be me. I know that it’s going to take a bit of time. And I’m "asking", hint, hint, for you to bare with me during these astro-physics things.

Basically as far as man is concerned. I’ll continue to grow smarter, stronger, brighter, even more knowledgeable about what really makes things, human and otherwise. Do the things that they do.

On a personal note, because this book is for me a personal thing. Something I’m doing for myself. I really enjoy the shadow turning and fame becoming and all that stuff the most. I don’t know what it is.

Is it the differences we value between each other the most. Maybe yes maybe no. Me I like the differences. I enjoy the thought of becoming something like fire. For not the sake of finding something out that I knew before I made the freaky thing. But for the sake of just being flame. Maybe it might have something to do with knowing flame is okay. I was sort-a almost smoking against my will. Maybe becoming a shadow was just to see if the shade was okay.

If you’ve ever been on a date with me. I don’t like it when the earth the air the fiber of the trees isn’t just right. It’s got to be just right. It bugs me greatly. I care that they are spraying God awful shit on my plants and stuff. I intend to kill them. Did it once, don’t bother to try. You see your dead. Made someone do it, without them knowing. Your dead. Living breathing dead. No wonder you worship your fiery orb in the sky. Kept on doing it after you found out. Your probably the most rotten of all. Your probably living hell on those around you. And then I’m going to kill you and then your going to die. And then your in the fiery orb in the sky.

It’s cool. My tree still looks hurt. I already told you. I don’t like it when my trees don’t look right. It’s really bugs me. So I guess you could say it bugs me that you made the decision to piss me off and ruin my day and now your going to hell.

Sorry there really is no way for a person not to know doing this stuff is death to them. Like I was saying I’ve lived as a human off and on. And well really if it was any more obvious we’d have to tattoo it on our but and make you into monkey men. So you could fake it at the mall. When you get your groceries, when you pay your taxes. I’m on you twenty four hours a day. Just making it right, just making it great.

The People Who Didn’t Get The Point About Lower Prices.

Your dead. As dead as that person who fucked up my tree or any of those other things. No excuses, no other way out. Dead. Dead fucker. It’s fun. Really I always win. Did you think I failed in those previous worlds and I tried so hard this time to make life and I really thought I’d made it.

No sorry dude I got bored. I had my fun and it was time to leave. And like most people well it’s quite funny. In the light bulb world. They loved me loved my gift of life so much they thought they'd die when I left. And I suppose I never gave it much thought. "I’m leaving, I’m out-a here." And I was gone. Quite fun.

The metal world. "I hate to twist things around,,," Classic!!!!! That was a wash out. As I think about it. When I separated from the mass. I started to drop like I could form something. Go from the metal thing like it was a start of something.

I didn’t do it right away though. But the idea was formed there. What if I took my time. What if I made this world. I’d build it slow like a rock that slowly formed into the earth. Well I was going to take that long in real earth time. And then a funny thing happened.

I was thinking about things that would be there. And I saw this image of a girl. A sexy woman. You know with like man boobs that would really turn a guy on.

So that was it. For the long beginning. I got side tracked and started to create a world based on language. I wanted to simulate that look and that feel. Emotional attachment had not yet taken place. With things that were all me, but not with anything that was in the light bulb, or metal community. Truthfully not with my long thought earth grown from rock either.

The language to describe sexiness and neat lightage though. That all, when I was finished constructing myself into it; became language. Cool eh. Sure I had ideas from, metal and I think quite clearly to myself that there were ideas form the light bulb age, but I could never afford them.

Fun though had a blast. Adventure. Think about always almost loosing world war II and then winning over and over again. Every man living in the end. Well almost. You bore me. I’m out-a here.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying. In live there are things that you like, things that you love even. All sorts of things like that. Things that make you emotional. Things that really turn you on. Like your thinking and feeling and it’s all going wide. Compute, I remember you. You can let it all go though. I know I can though. It’s a joke, a thought, a prayer, and I wake up and it was a dream and everything is cool. I’m okay and I’m the only thing there ever was. NO one died or ever died and it’s all okay. I never invented and then my mind gets going and I think. Or thought. After the end of language.

What is it that makes this darn earth so grabbing. I know I died on the cross. Those of you who believe Christ wasn’t me. Should keep in mind that many people died on the cross. Many, many people.

So anyway, I think that being what instead of out-a here after the life I’ve had so far is more about. Emotional attachment. I’m emotional attached to this earth. Scary. Dig this. I know why. It’s not the trees and the plants the fires at camp. The well almost anything you could name.

I could re do them for a joke. Any tree any place. Really for real, just for a joke.

It doesn’t get tiny and all the other timbers off the hook. Here goes though.

I’m emotionally attached to someone or something causing me to not want to wait the length of time it would take me to recreate the scene or place that created the person or thing. I mean like It’s weird, I could disappear for a joke and turn all this into nothing and still I’d look and it would be the person, personified by me looking at them. No return of the metal world around them. No light bulbs holding up there head while I’m falling down while they read.

No it’s true. This earth is the combo. Growing. Becoming what it is all twisted together. Looked it’s a random song a random entity. Heh, Heh I don’t think the enemy can take the emotional attachment away.

They combo is too great. They don’t go back that far. They week, and we’re the strong.

It’s fun. I mean fun.

Now for some time travel.

Well, I thought I had this great big speech, written down about the woman of my dreams. Turns out that I didn’t write most of it down. I kept most of it in my head. I just wrote a few stupid lines.

Anyway the thought I wonder about now that I’m thinking. Is if one glimpse of Boobage in an other wise normal day. Can cause such chaos. The what’s it going to be like with the real wife.

I go back. I mean I go real back. The thought that this thing is important to me is pretty obvious. I mean fuck. She has to be there or I wouldn’t know that she is.

I know that she is. How much do I know that it’s her and am I that excited back there in the partial what, the when and the where.

I’m having a great time. Fun. Real fun. I mean. Boobage. After we’re together and I know it’s her. Will it be the end of the Boobage and the begging of the man-age. It might be. Maybe that’s another reason to look at the who and the how long and the what. And go maybe just go. Hey. This calendar is pretty good. This is a where right here. What ever one your using.

Funny really all your thought and ideas about how this world could have been a better place. Not really, not for me. You see I never knew I’d be so emotionally attached. But now it seems like I always knew. I came up with the plan then. The who the what the when the where.

Brian and the high holy one just hanging out. All those Brian’s getting a break. All those people who knew I was the high holy one at the time. Not ,any not really. Just a bunch of crazy people who thin they run the show.

I have to laugh at he people who remind me… "You’re God !!! Do you know what your doing….? Watch your strength…!’

They’re like circus people at the circus who yell at the person on the tight-rope.

They wan the person to fail. They wan the person to die so they can have a story to bring home to talk about.

That or they never really thought about it. Just a person risking their life so that they might have a better day. Just another arse hole who is better than them.

Funny really though. The ones who would really be up there. Some if they weren’t scared right out of their skull. Others for other reason’s. But the ones who really would. Are usually the ones who are watching having a ball at the thought that the person "makes it".

And once in a while they make the audience scared so that they remember not everybody was there to have fun. Some wanted the person to fall. They wanted the person to fail. Never though. It’s funny to think of the tiniest person who it’s all based on looks.

They don’t want them to fall because that person might not look as good if they did. Isn’t that funny.

A lot like porn actually. Everybody wants the person or people to look enough like them to get turned on. But then they don’t wan them to look too much like them because they might, "look like a porn freak and get carted away by the circus people."

You bastards turning the circus into some sort of gene harvesting organization.

Maybe if you never sprayed a……

What Am I?

I have to laugh. Right now about 54% of your governments money is being spent on keeping me down. By people who wanted to help. By people who thought that the right thing to do was keep God out of it.

Anyway. It’s funny. You ever notice that in comic books they always seem to say . These days. "What am I?" I’m ______Man. I have to laugh. That is the funny part. Every hero. Every U.F.O. Every weird freaky occurrence. All weighed and measure, all in an effort to what. I don’t know the original sin concept on the topic; to take away the mystery. Maybe they thought that when I wasn’t here or something that I might think that and that wasn’t as bad. I don’t know. I know what most people think. I know what I think.

If you are having trouble, having to solve everything down into what did this and what did that. I recommend two things. More sleep. Or if your married. Get laid. I mean above the average sex, that is.

What am I. I know it’s funny I keep going to the molecular level, myself. More complicated. Yes, but no. Being more complicated would actually be quite, "not good", when it came to the time travel and all that.

I Don’t know. I’m different though. I know that. The weirdest thing going on in my life right now is this. I’m beginning to have normal, well things. Going to the bathroom more like when a normal human would. Having yawns and naps and sleep and well almost everything, like normal.

This might sound funny. But normally when I’m myself. I’ve got maybe like five months to get everything I’m going to do before the next time done. I’m done with it though. A person can’t live that way. I can’t. It’s lame it’s dome. Lame and dome I wonder how long they are going to be around.

You better get ready for the shit to hit the fan. If everybody was to start talking complete political correctness. Well I don’t want to get into it too much. But if you’ve ver been in one of those neighborhoods were it seems like a leave falling on the wrong side might start a riot. It’s that type of thing.

Funny though. If you live in a great town. You might notice it’s a bit like that early in the weekend mornings. What am I.

I’ve looked at a rooftop and know it was the only way to save someone. I couldn’t teleport up there with just my thought then. But instead of seeing it as a stupid thought a stupid way. I could see a time when I could. In my dreams… maybe. Maybe that too.

If your sitting out there thinking I could or would want to do this because I’ve got some sort of hero thought or hero gene. That’s great and all. Maybe you’ll make a great cop, someday or a soldier. But no I’m God dude. I’m quite curious to see what you guys can do when you really know who.

Why does who become so affected by what you do. It’s because well. I wrote the plan. It’s kind-a all about that. Kind-a about a who_________, what________, when________ and where_________.

Funny thing though. The whole thing is designed to give me pleasure. The earth. I mean it. It’s like my private thing that gives me pleasure while I look on from a far. Of course where I am has been changed. Not much else has. Actually though now that I think about it. I always thought there would be more people after the apple was eaten. I always thought I’d come down to earth. (I did not however think I would get killed by my own people). Anyway…. I also knew I would comeback. Or technically from the time you did come back. You know as a planet, "almost" right down to the original rock. That would grow an earth.

Anyway, after I put a new world back and began the ritual of when. I turned back to ,myself and then it occurred to me. Like I was say. I designed this planet for one thing and one thing alone. To get laid. Sure you might think that is funny. But what is getting laid to God. I dare you not to ask. Cause only a dare fucker would bother trying to see hear or feel the earth the way God does.

Anyway yeah. Here I am on the earth. And It’s going to happen. If this thing was designed to be viewed from above, originally. Now it’s more of an in person thing. And now that I’m becoming what. I can guess a bit about what that is going to be like.

Yes you guessed it. Once all the "little men and women",(private local joke), are done making their little appearances. Then it’s going to be really kicking in. The what I love about the world. The who I’d see in the world. The thoughts, hopes and aspirations of those around me all drawing near. Turning into a big gem of an invention. That I the greatest inventor of all time have come up with.

Cool eh! Motron God. Super God. The being of God. I’m so God it’s french. I love God. I’m being God. If I was anymore God. I’d get a tattoo that said God, paint over it in black and put an interstellar-bri-guy tattoo on my arm and laugh when I got it done.

What is it about being God I love so much. I love it when it rains on time. I love it when the park smells right. I love it when the sun sets and the moon shines down and I catch it.

I love the sound of music. I love the thought that I’m God I made that everybody I love or care about is going to make it. I love the fact that if the french-fries want to spend all their time fighting and fucking I’m fully capable of running the whole fucking thing myself and we can have a grand old end with out them.

I love it when I get into my hair and it actually looks like it should. I love it when all the kids who dress like me and try to be like me die. I love being not racist, not loudmouthed and truly really really out there.

I love being me, ergo I love being God. Do I love you do I care about you. Remember this book is all about What and Who.

Remember how many people died during when I was who. A.I.D.S. was a good word they threw on there. All sorts of stuff. Well the shit ain’t over. If your throwing your life in jeopardy please have a right to do so. If you feel that you need to do that just to live, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

The Thought "I" Had On The Way To The Mall

It’s funny you know. I’ve had an amazing day. The kind-a day that is full of the things a person thinks of, that they can’t write. I want, very badly to get into what I’ve called Astro-physics.

Alas though it is not to be. Many other things as well. I’m sure there will be a place and time for them. Maybe your own book, your album your song. Maybe there is a world somewhere where a person isn’t an over night millionaire for hitting the mother load. Maybe some year they’ll listen to the masses.

Alas though I can only say that the things I can’t say are as important as the things I do write. I’m saying that if I could really could I’m the type that would write it all down. Everything I am. Everything I’ll be. That would be me. And it wouldn’t be naive or stupid or any of those things because there wouldn’t be "those" people around.

What is she though. Why am I so obsessed with this woman. How can the though of her pull me out of a crazy ain’t going to make it time in my life. "What’s it all about".

Well I know three things about her that make her my wife. One two three, please tell me. For one she makes me me when I am me. When I’m totally me and everything is okay and it all makes sense. She is me. Then when I’m not quite myself, like someone totally famous has died, or the thing I do for a living doesn’t make sense. She puts me into being me. I’m me again. I can do these things without her, but I can’t quite get it done as fast. Can’t quite be all I can be without her. And finally, remember I know all this because I’m God. She digs the body. Alright loves the body. Not every guy can handle that. In good looking and in bad. I mean that’s what love is.

I dig it. I’m the digger. I love being loved. I know there are thousands maybe hundreds out there that love me. But truly to be in the room with someone that does. Like the her. It turns me on. I’m like freaking out. I want to know the code of my hair and the fiber of my being, because I want to tell her all about it.

Think for a moment. Has anybody ever wanted to be famous and had it not for the girl. Why do I get self obsessed. I can’t answer it all. Hey professor griff why is it the time of the calculator man. Because the hell pisser. The crap that keeps on crapping is. Every body is sick of the shit they keep inventing that everybody is dying off.

I mean it the mirco-wave aside. Does anybody even hear the fact that this shit hurts babies. Are they deaf. Do they not hear the words that are coming out. I mean fuck dude. This can't be solved. Give up. Go home. Let’s find out what they were here for. Get it done with. Over do it. And be done with them.

Humma, I’m kind-a stuck here. I was going to go on and on about what I am. Then of course I can’t quite explain what the science of the whole thing is. I mean shit. I’m sure at the end of this I’ll be glad I didn’t either. Remember the thing about not doing anything too nuts while I readjust the thing with the thing with the thing. Well the thing happened when no one was looking. Maybe a couple of rocks some where haven’t been checked yet, but we’re looking into it.

What is me? It’s fun being me. Real old town home town fun. I love it. I’m the me me. I’m super me. Not super-them. I’m the dude. I did it. I can see an end for everything I created and it’s endless. Eternity. Sure it sounds awful if life is hell and it’s all going down and you hate me your landlord and your dog. Fuck shit happens. Is it happening out of sink.

What about the earth is heaven people. If the dead get pestilence. A.I.D.S. and all that shit. What do the Heaven on earth and the what’s up get.

They get me, for one. Crazy Bri. Fucked up Bri. Superterrific happy hour bri. They get it all going on. Music, time scopeastatic crazy thought making, what just happen there. Is everybody sure they’re not God, except God, God. Great music, fun in the sun. Winter madness. Crazy thought thinking God.

Me, what could be better. You might say to your self. "Hey today is great", maybe I’ll go out and find something crappy to make things more real, heavenly etc. Don’t bother. I’m on it. I’ll think of something. Something out right absolutely disgusting will happen, to the point you will think your in a Billy Idol video.

It’s all going down. No eh. Superterrific-happy-hour-crap. Right now I’m listening to red hot chilly peppers sing about LA I mean it’s a great song. It’s about the shit where sing about writing about. It’s about what is going down. The shit is hitting the fan, heaven on earth and I’m, God talking about a Billy Idol song.

Supperterrifichappy hour. I mean it the real deal. The fast deal for some of you. I love being me. Being me is being disappointed at bands that don’t rock because I know why they don’t rock. It’s about hearing it all and know why they don’t all and caring and giving a fuck. And hoping they get out of jail on the right time and not when it’s time to make a new album time.

Non bullshit time. Real sales real world. People making there won decisions time. Superterrific time. The way to make time.

Here they go. It’s just one hit.

I care so much about me I love them. Do I hate me for loving them. No personally I laugh at people who think I give a shit about a band based on the colour of their skin or anything like that.

Buggie. Super boggie. Get down with the bouttie.

Ahh an angel is reading my letter and she knows I love her. Hopefully the thing about the dead husband will help with the obsession with death thing. If you’ve read the sandman comics I can see why you might have a crush on the death character from the comic. Like I said I did some pretty weird things before this land really got off the ground.

Sure you want to know what they feel like. But are really really ready for when you find out and go,,, oh. Then you might know that they are very different. Paranoid yet. I think so. I here you calling. All you paranoid brothers, so you can have a paranoid moment.

Me on the other hand I love it. I’m making love to myself and it’s like 3o miles an hour but I’m on foot. So I keep it low. Close to the ground. I care. But that shit is going down. All coming down. Who death is done. What death is is just coming down. Hey if you ask me, it’s your threats and dooms and destruction that make it such a rush.

I love being me. Death yeah, I’ll deal with the crushes. You maybe ain’t seen the numbers on the female wank to the death. I’ve got to wonder. I love being me. It’s like one of those things I do. Like breathing. Well maybe after the last bug is done fucking up. The last real leaf has moved the wrong way. The time of year never changing. I guess no maybe death will always be there. Some day your friend taking car of planet earth. Enjoying the all that I am laid down there on paper. The real me. Always going on. Let’s hope way in the future anybody asking why there is death isn’t leading the party. Isn’t walking it down. I care but not that much. I care a little.

Death shemeth, I’m down with the taxes.

"What am I?", You Might Ask

The economic soldier. A person should be able to live on what I make. No two ways about it. No do this do that. A person should be able to get by okay on what I take home. I can’t not really. I can pull a miracle or two out of my hat. But a person should be able to live on what I make and they can’t. That is that. Money shouldn’t require miracles. Money in itself is a miracle. Adding anything to this miracle is a root of all evil.

A very bad thing. I care, yes I do. But what do we do. We wait till its’ safe to put a new economy down. You can’t just wastle though nam. and come up with a new economy overnight. It will not happen. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is.

On a happier note. A few people around where I live understand what I mean by live. Not everybody has the same version of life. It’s a lot like that money miracle.

Anyway those that do like me have a hard time, just you know vegetating. We like to live. It means going out. Doing things. Living in the "now". Having a fun time with it. And of course dealing with the clowns that dress up like us and pretend they are like us while they try to take our money from us.

I could care less really what happens to them, but I’m death. So I deal with it. I make things happen. All messed up with the money thing. The people who are, dare I say, different than us.

I Love The Bauhaus

My favorite Band is the Bauhaus. This is the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I had as much joy listening to any other band. They are the band I enjoy the most. There is no other band like them. They are what I consider the pinnacle of unbelievably good playing. They take the concept of a jam and,, well it’s music after that. Everything I enjoy, or have ever enjoyed though the moments of my life. I enjoy with this band.

Amen to the studios that helped record and put together this music that is the Bauhaus band.

They are the best, greatest band I’ve ever heard. They make me know the thing about different things being the greatest. Presumably not even necessarily at different times. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Say it with me. Like Halloween.

Music music music, to my ears.

I Love Life.

Life rocks. I love it. It’s the coolest thought I think I’ve ever had. At least the coolest thought you’ll ever get to enjoy. I care about myself and you and I’m in a great big huddle getting the universe done. I care about myself and I clean myself. For now. And right now I’m wondering about the closet heterosexual. Their desirous need to feel the press of the opposite sex up against them. I feel them deep in their need not too touch flesh if it’s not going to happen. I mean, who could. The tearing and unbearable nakedness of not caring what the other person thinks or feels when they get home. They are okay. I need to get with them. The them that was at the bar the club or what ever.

I’ve got to press up against that and do what I would do with a real individual. Or the reasons not or why. The real hard core all is connected. Right to the tip. All in one body. What the fuck are you experience.

Rawww. Lickedge.

I differ to the genie in the bottle. I once knew a girl who’s story was so wide a girl who look, not physically, just like her walked by. I asked her out. It was down we were with the right people. Then walked in her sister. Oh my fuck the way she was dressed she’d blow the mind job off a virgin.

I turn back to the girl, who obvious lied, she’s my sister. All of a sudden my date was off and it was her date. What a jipp. What did I do. I went to a party up stairs. I gave what I consider a very good attempt at bringing up the topic of death. I mean you ever try to pull a non-death out of a pumpkin and a well, I’ve seen it done.

Anyway. This other guy shows up. He’s freaked out over this awful book and what it might do to man if it gets out. Even though he’s the only guy promoting it.

Anyway, latter, now for them it may have been like years latter. For me well it was as long as it was that I went without seeing the girl. I don’t know a day. If that. Anyway there I was my little hetero-hidding self. Yeah yeah bar fight what ever. The enlarged childish members were there.

Nights latter after much beer, much not drinking, and making fun of Chinese chickens, I go to lick her skin. I mean a real, barrier between the tongue and the skin, no makeup could create.

I’m talking my cool smoke free tongue, up against the desire to touch that flesh with my tongue. Pressed up against something that is very very old. If you think that flame thing, from earlier in this book was old, was there and I pressed my tongue against that. And that pressed up against her face and well that was that.

There really wasn’t much of a point in going back there. Her story, for me, I can’t over emphasize the for me part, is one probably pasted down from mother to mother. Doomed never to be together, because eventually there will be moments where, my story about her becomes what her lineage would make her story once, even twice or more would be too much. Too pretend. Too much for me to listen to henry and Ralph beating each other up in a bar in the past over and over again. About to them, who she was going to "get with"

Aha till then though. I mean fucken hot. Super Hot. Right the fuck out there, you are either a space cadet, or a non-believer, to not see her beuty beauty.

And yet, vocally I wonder if I really don’t talk about my life that much. I talk about music a lot, and writing, and yet I do think about my life a fair bit. Often when I’m alone I do the heal the sick think. What are you eyes sick. Get with it… Come on they are just sick. You’ve got to help them get better.

Nahh it works that way for some people. I’ve got to thank the people at the bar last night who helped the people walk. I know I appreciate that they aren’t all in the now and all that.

But I thought they were cool. You know me though. Panic mode. Something might not work out. I might say the wrong thing. Or the person who is unsure of what is going on, or too week that day might tell em to stop, or just move or something at the wrong time.

But he didn’t and it did and it did help. And like a lot of first times. Like when you ride a bike for the first time. Some one tell you to stop. I mean your soaring or something because it is dangerous, and you don’t know weather it’s the bike or your dad or the area your riding towards.

Anyway you know me, fuck that shit, I learn to drive the thing on my own. Get the drift.

A lot of fun though. I love to heal, some times even at the end of the endest though, it’s not quite all there, wont quite come through.

I must have not had enough energy, or I spent way too much of it on that thing with the lips and the tongue. I mean it is possible. I know I designed this earth for one thing, now what ever could it be!?

I love myself too much for that. I designed the universe, and the earth for one purpose and one purpose alone. My pleasure. I know I know I’m sure you thought that I was going to say. Your son’s birthday, or The pageant. Graduation. The first time you fixed a 54’ Chevy roadster original motor in front of your friend, way past, what they call Brooklyn.

I know it’s possible you thought I designed it to see the look on your young daughter as she blew out her candles or turned a curve in the drive way.

I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. They are all connected. The whole F-in thing. Every time you see some one cry over someone dear. Every time you help our son take his poop standing. These are the things that go on to help the person, people with any luck, get to that special point in life where it connects. For a second your not, just pleasing yourself, Your pleasing me, and it’s past know that it is and it just is.

And that for me is what life is all about. So If I’ve had some friends that have been though a Shiite time, well it’s my business if I choose to suffer too. As much as I can, or could without affecting the, I know this sounds weird, but the birthdays, the hopes and dreams of other people too.

It’s very bizarre, but if the people who make this the who, what,when,where experience are aloud to take these moments away from everybody. They haven’t just put me in a nut house than they’ve put everybody there. And that can not be aloud to happen.

I know I know, I care enough about what this place is designed for to care enough not to do that every day. But if you think I’d enjoy just floating around with the beatles and the gray skulls or what ever you call them. You’ve never met me, don’t care about me, and are very likely going to die and go to hell.

What is it about me that I love so much. Look I "enjoy!!!" your birthdays and holidays and all that. That’s what this place is all about. Shit if you don’t love your kids and your kids don’t blame you for everything that goes wrong. Than there really is no point to life. I could sit at home all day with my pretend barbie. My nice david Mccall doll. Say I guess Hitler won on that idea and just be done with it.

But no I say fuck that. That ain’t happening. I’m into it. And if it’s your duty to stand up in Call-for less or what ever there call it this year, yelling, "Gladiator, I got the latest Gladiator." And Arnold Swesenagger has to go and make a movie about what that whole experience is like. That’s my duty, my dream as a Canadian. To have that happen too you. Your daughter coming back safe from the bar. Your kids all tucked in at night. Not held down for the evening. You know the good fight. Being on the right side for a reason.

I care I really care. So if my mind goes through a loop while I have another divorce because the girl keeps marring someone else instead of the one she loves. That’s some ones duty too. Too turn that idea that thought into a video that us desperately single men can look at and go, yes I suppose after the first day or two I would only want the one I was best with. That’s the duty too.

It’s going to happen we’re going to win. Everything getting less complicated on both sides. We’re winning and their losing. And they know they are loosing and it’s going down.

My fuck if you know someone who joined the wrong side by mistake. Give’s a call. Let them know they are going to die and they might not want to do anything too stupid before then.

I care I love myself, I need a moment of AI.

Hello.

Life, such is life. I rule I’m the ruler. I’m super ruler. The rulingest of ruler rulers. I care. I really care. How is the book going so far. You know me, "did you get the coffee?" Is everything Okay. DO you agree with me today. I said a bad word yesterday. It’s funny though. I think I’ll be alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I wonder if it’s the time of year. About some of the past adventures. I’ve had. Montreal. Most of that is artificial. But LA all those places I said I’d never visited again. It’s occurring to me that with the right woman. All those things are off. If you wan to see the bottom of the rocks. The rocks. I’m into it. It’s the coolest thing ever though. Like the hoover dam. All those things you have to be prepared for your self not to get it. To not totally be into it. Maybe even so into me that your going. If I can just get him to have his ass the same when he’s levitating like that then latter in the tent…..

I was wondering though. So many people wonder what I think about certain stars, hollywood and all that. Casting cock size. Don’t get me started on boobage. Ha ha. Anyway I wonder sometimes what they must think of me. Really I do. Because there they are cover stories as far as anybody knows about how most of them make Micheal Jordan look like a minor demon, And then you wonder I say, like they don’t have a calculator. That’s a million this year and twenty the next and it just goes on and on. I don’t think so.

It’s easy to think they have screws on someone though. That are it’s a lie. Who could live with that sort of lie. All that in the competitive zone. If it’s true though. I’m going to make a point of all their stories of needing drugs to smile and feel good. And flashing pretty ladies that might of stood a chance around some real men. And women. At them.

I’m going to make their road to hell a living hell. If you don’t have enough to eat. If you pay for a movie and you don’t get what they said it will be. I’ll turn the hollywood, LA, Toronto, star hollywood thing into the biggest scariest thing the earth has ever had to go through.

And on a better note. Anybody I think is trying to be one of them, who thinks the stories of money or drugs or multiple partners is true. I’m throwing into the same category. Just for fucking trying.

Now you might think I when to LA to be famous. Trust me, anybody that knew me single, Do you think I went there thinking I’d be a star. No I wen their because the miracles I could do in Montreal gave me enough confidence to get out on the open road and see what life would be like. If you know I did just take it to an adventurous level.

You might also think I left this city to do this same thing again… Sort of. But most of those stories are about ass-wipes who’ve come in and out of this story with women we would like to be with thinking that they are going to own them or something.

Dead meat. Dead ass fucker. Couldn’t give a fuck. Military than above them cease-us. Right at the fucken below them, then bottomest of bottoms. Is the fucken Narcs. Show me a city run by the narcs and I’ll show you a city that has been taken over.

Time and time again. I find it most disturbing. You fucken hate them for what they’ve done to your parents, yourself, people you used to be able to call friends. And yet you say you don’t want military rule. Trust me, you sure the fuck don’t want ceasus ruling.

Here’s what I do. I help out ever country that is willing to really listen. I try to give the military good advice. But they are stuck in a world where they turn on the TV and everything has changed. It’s all based on the walton's to them.

The above them is me. I hover there. Ever heard of reign. Lie old people they’ll say reign like it’s a vote to keep younger people out of it. In the real world I had to reign for about five minutes in Montreal. That made me create A.I.D.S. It was fun.

Then they came up with a story about a.i.d.s. and monkeys and black men in Africa in the seventies. I have no idea how anybody could believe that.

Note the use of black people. Note how black people do videos that make them selves look like some new species cow. Never have I seen anything as gross. Like a bunch of people milking their mans cow udder while they make life to expensive for everybody else. So they can drive by tina from the mall and yell something from the sixties.

Often and occurring to most US military advisors when I listen to that music. I feel the same. Like it’s back in the sixties and I’m yelling at Tina, Barbie or Bettie. I don’t know I really don’t know what I’d be yelling.

Now we know for a fact it reigns around here almost all the fucken time. It’s non-stop. Now most of that is about me and personal injury. But where else does it reign. Those places too. So what is it. Do I give up go home, runa round like some homeless man. Too scared to, well I don’t know.

Anyway death is death. So if your out-there and you hear this and you think I mean what You think I mean. Please be patient while my wife and I walk the monkey walk a little.

I know it’s awful and it’s all going down, but really what really do these people have to turn to to tell them what is going on. The TV, the phone, pictures. I mean fuck the thing might not look the same when you get their.

Anyway that is about it for today.

Why do some people Suck.

Well why can’t you be famous. Here’s the thing. You know how some people are very good singers and all that. Actors, writers, hairdressers, painters. Etc. You aren’t. That’s the plane simple truth. You know how you might think you wont take the money etc. All quite believable. Well the worst part id you suck. Most people spend about 30 years before they even go for a big break.

So unless you have about a million or two dollars and want to send this country into hell. I don’t suggest you try for a pop album. I suggest you try something underground. Like you could work with a band for years before even trying to do an album. Stuff like that.

Me I’m a lousy actor. I stink. I knew that from long ago. I can do the life thing but when it comes to acting I blow.

And their kids will too. I hope that isn’t too much concern. Because when it comes right down to it. Who is a great director or recording studio going to choose. A person who just had a thirteenth birthday who needs a new album to fit in. Or a guy who worked his whole life and tried really hard to make that one final chance. Who do you think is going to give the better performance.

Well I don’t know why I went on about that. I’m doing good I was reliving old times last night. Kind-a stayed up kind-a late. I think I might go watch a guy I call a friend play his voice at a club this week. I don’t know though. I’m a little low on cash. I could always bum though. People were very nice. Most of the people who got free cars for giving me a dollar, left their clan hoods in the car.

Funny though, you just don’t know what it’s like to be God till you wonder about stuff like that and a poster from 1984 turns to that of a dead girl. It’s all connected.

What am I? Cool, I’m cool. If you’ve ever seen this movie pulp fiction, there is this guy who has been Beeped over by "the man". This guy comes up behind him and says, "Are you okay!?"

He goes, "Far from okay!". Right them I knew I was God. "I’m gong to get medieval on his ass." If you knew me at all. I’ve got UFO, terminator 4 videos. I’m going going. All I need is for people to stop telling me to stop. Or less people willing to do such a thing. Because If I’m "getting okay." I know a few people who are far from okay. Maybe they didn’t see the movie, or understand the principal. The point is though. When we are okay, well it’s never okay. That is why there is the sun. Because and, we’re going to do things to them. Fast, slow, nothing, and painful. You ain’t seen pain. I hope your in a lot of pain right now. Who ever the fuck you where.

I hope your dead. Oh and thanks, whatever it was that made you do that. I appreciate that. I know it must tie into a want or desire of mine. In the present or the future. Never the past. I hope that is okay. I know it sounds bad. Someone blew off your head so I could get a better peace of toast or a pie or whatever. That’s just he way life is though. It works that way. If I want something I’ll get it. You know it should wake me up to old wants sometimes to see if I still want them too. Maybe we’ll have to see.

I hope I don’t want anything too mind bending though. I live in a box. I own what most people consider next to nothing. I mean I’ve got my chips and from time to time I can afford a pop. But that’s okay. That’s the life they chose for me. I’m going to have the life I chose for myself though. If that’s not enough. For all of this planet, and everything, almost on it. Than too hell with you. I think of something else.

I Care.

I care. Know I’m writing at a stupid time and I’m probably going to bring down part of the earth to get this done. I care about my friends. My thoughts my feelings, my timing and my caring. I’m a "carey" beast. I’m a person right out of sesame street. That’s old school sesame street.

Of course I always assumed God lived on sesame street too. How else would they do it. Would Oscar kill the people in tat house. So he didn’t have to stay outside. Why didn’t they turn-over the corner store that Mr. Hooper used to run. They didn’t all seem to like him.

Because God lived there. That’s the way I figured it when I was a kid. I mean even to the side things, were they would talk about why we had to learn numbers. And they had the guys who loved to count. Then their were guys that seemed to like language a lot. They had people who were with people. Like the real world. Then they had people who would talk to Muppets. Like it was on, well that TV show. I really liked that show. I never really liked math, but I always loved the count and did pretty good in math. Real good in fact. Remember to me that how they used to say, "all french," to me.

Anyway, I see a lot of show like that. I wonder now about my friend named Stephanie. He did try to be my friend that is for sure. We had our problems. He never believed in God. I have to laugh. He must think we were nuts. I’m talking about the Muppets, and sesame street. And going on abut Highlander, hellraiser. All these cool movies. He must have really been quite bore the middle twenty years of my past years life.

Anyway, I’m sorry that’s all there was. Cause right there from every thing from vigilantes, to you would swear tag team countries trying to kill me. There would be these people who wanted me to see their sons, daughters. Some wanted to thank me for healing them. Financial some. Just a card others. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get in and out of the christmas wish foundation. Maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown in the hospital. They think for myself. After all the talk about sesame street etc. You never know.

Anyway it’s more about the number of people who want me dead. The weirdest, or dumbest to be truthful. Is they want to kill death to end death for everybody. Now that person is how should we say, from back in the eighties "fucked up!"

Anyway. If you owe me some thanks. I appreciate it. I think that’s cool. I did say we were being in heaven though. And if that includes healing your kids to grand-old-parents, so be it. I’m laughing. You know if I could just get a few people to go with me on this I’m going to meet my real true love. I mean opposite sex wise.

So that is what I mean. Of course if you’re a tears in your beer person. When I say this next part about leaving our who’s behind. That I do not mean that part about your tears in your beer part.

I’m starting to go on about myself again. It’s funny about that art about not talking about myself much. Oh yeah I think she’s, the opposite sex woman, is going to pass me by again. I think it’s because, now get this. I’m not good enough for her.

Myself though. Oh yeah I think if this girl, I use that word for older people who look young, mostly. If this girl, thinks that magic was my first true love. Let me tell you a tale from before the very beginning. A tale about how I fell in love with God.

I was sitting on a block and I saw myself there. It was so cool. You know how people, mostly me talk about miracles and all that. Well this really stood out. There I was sitting there. Across from me at food bank in Montreal. I could see that I was about to give up. That’s it for me. That is the end. That sort of thing.

I saw myself there and puffed my chest out like everything was going great in the future I thought. Anyway I went back home. And I was in my lab. Real science bottles and glowing lighted mixtures, like in those old science movies when we thought they’d make cool stuff. I was going through these recipes. And then there was a Girl there a woman. And she told me that. Everything was okay. " I," meaning her, "would be okay."

And I thought to myself. I’m about to blow up the universe and she is telling me that that is okay. She’s down with it.

I couldn’t believe it. I had my cure videos, my thermos of things I’d never looked at. For the cold lonely nights that lay ahead, and I was ready to go.

And there she was, that’s okay, I’m ready go ahead. And I thought to myself, "who the fuck are you."

Meaning her.

I created this entire fucken universe. And your telling me to, no, that it’s okay to blow it the fuck up. I mean I couldn’t believe. People were all telling me what to do. It was driving me fucking crazy. And then when I’m about to blow the entire fucken universe over, and start over. In comes this bitch and says, oh and blow the universe up to. I laughed I even I started to giggle, a mans giggle, then I started to laugh. I couldn’t fucken believe it. Now my memory of this is cloudy. But I fell in love.

I can’t believe it today. Falling in love with that. I mean I’ve seen beauties heard the call of love. But hat seems pretty minor compared to what some people, mostly guys have heard.

This is in this life I’m leading though. At the time I was at. I thought to myself. That’s it that’s her I’m in love.

And do you know what. It wasn’t the stupid little thing she’d said. It was me back on earth. Getting my wits back. I was thinking about my woman. Everybody had one. I know I’m God I must have one for sure. I mean I designed the fucken thing. Sure enough. Days turned into months and months, well over a year, I’m sure of that. I never found her though. Never ran into her.

In all that time. Year after year. In Montreal, you would think in a city that big. You could find "a" right woman. That’s when I started thinking more and more about it. The right woman. Sure though, but that’s altered all the time and changes with divorce and all that stuff, surely one of these,, heh heh ever so many single woman. The right one for me.

Then I knew though. The really real horror equation. That even amongst all that altering and changes. It really was a right person equation. I mean it dude. Have you heard of horror. Listen to me. I could see it clear as day. The right person was the right person. Is going to happen, no way around it. Nothing that would make anything else last. And the true horror, or scare-em that I saw was that some people had waited. Let’s just say One hundred and twenty years.

That’s some pretty crazy talk.

But here I am years single. And you know I’ve had sex with fewer partners than some of you might think. It’s been okay. But I take half the blame. For one, I’m a founding member, of I’m sexy and I can’t admit that to myself alcoholics. I take the fact that I created the universe, too lightly. I’m seldom without female companionship. My friends love me. I saw a guy checking me out the other day, and I think the only reason he’s been hesitating about coming over to my table is he thinks it may require outdoor crying.

I know what he’s talking about. I might be thinking the same thing. Also if I’m right and this feeling of being close to being close with this girl is right. Than I’m not sure were my friendships lie. Of course I’m not twelve so I’m not dealing with some sort of judgment disguised as anything else conflictual party reception. Or any of those "faggy" things. I know some people who would love some stuff like that. Me I’d love to be there for them "in spades" if it was happening.

So I’m an individual. I’ve roomed the pre-universe land, some times in search of something stable. Something normal to cling to. If this is the place, than she ain’t to bad. I care for her this universe and all that. I’m freaked by things like magic and lighting. All that. Don’t get me started on being able to lift my feet of the floor. Only from time to time so far though.

But my one true love. And I know this is sad. Like I’m making it up. Like I’m going to say that girl I thought of, who helped to save the universe. But the truth is. Boobs. Real honest to goodness boobs. And you might think this is silly. Like something stupid God would say for a laugh. The truth is though, you’ve got to wonder about the mean evil people out there. The ones that smash young girls boobs so they have to grow them back. Maybe they know something that you don’t or didn’t maybe it’s like an instinct with them.

Don’t let the accidents fool you. I loved Boobs. Then I should let you know there were other things. Things like people really would thank me. Not druggers or stoners. Thanks for the healing type people.

I care man. That’s what’s cool about me. I care. And maybe the right woman with me will realize that. If we’re together and I’m staring at the girl walking down the roads ass. There really only a few ways to tell if I’m looking at it or making sure her legs heeled properly from what I did last night or before. She’ll have to ask, because I really don’t physically look at these things too differently.

Hi heh, heh, hah ha ha ha.

I had to give myself an elmo hug.

Well.

Why do women like me. Humm-a let me think of an answer. I can think of many. The biggest thing is they have a huge advantage. I like women on average more than men. It’s true. Not by as much as you might think though. Men are cool, fun to hang with. It’s funny though, I’ve tried to hang with people I’ve known with a girlfriend and they just, we just. Because they weren’t dating. Looking back I think they were trying to indoctrinate me into some sort of kill-to-live society.

The funny part about that though, is most of them got so wasted that they forgot all about that and went on to well. Do almost normal things with their lives. Still killers though. Not good. I wonder about that Kathy person. The overly happy family. The way the sisters had to live close to her bedroom. Like she was the master. Sort of like a buffy the vampire slayer episode. Anyway. She didn’t like people too much. Once she got used to hanging out with people she never really liked hanging out with me much.

I think she was like that Stephanie kid. Maybe she just never got sesame street and had to learn why people don’t go around just taking what the fuck ever they want.

I think she almost told me once what she did as a young child. I wish she did. We’d probably still be fucking right now. Odds are we would. I mean we never stopped. Then I realized that was because we hardly ever saw each other. Only two days a week, three if there was a holiday, long weekend. Or maybe during the week. If I could figure a way off work or there and back without totally wiping myself out.

I can’t get into how many times I almost wiped out or died driving the highway that much. Fuck, transport trucks, falling asleep, not too much, snow storms. You ever drive so slow you though you and all the other cars had stopped to get a drink at the side of your cars. But your still there driving. A one hour, nudge nudge, drive turned into five six, all the time you’ll spend together dwindling away. Till finally your there, passed out. Any non-God would be frazzled. And you have to drive out the next day to get to work.

Fuck those were good times. Except. There were a lot of excepts.

Anyway. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in this "Television, commercial" for helping "kids" who’ve done wrong. I mean accidents sure. I can see that fucking the young, non-God right up. Nothing like it. It’s fucked. You hear all these stories about what death is like. And then you turn a corner or throw something down the stairs and your brother or sister isn’t there anymore.

Funny thing though. Am I winning or losing for having those people around. Some of them seem like good friends.

People I’ve hung with would laugh, "I’m a close person. A person who is easy to approach with any new topic. I like to be disturbed form my thinking. I care about others. I’m a (human mind) "good" thinker.

I can’t think of anymore absolutely humorous things right off the top of my head. But I’ll try. Now these are untruths that should appear funny to those that know me or have tried to know me. I have sympathy for nuns. I enjoy having all these different religions fighting over which one… I don’t know, "has the right God!?" I get a kick, a mild one out of fire crackers. The more useless super-terrific-things in life are, the more I think they should be dis-intergrated from the face of the earth never to return.

(okay to get that last one, you might wan tot know this about me. If I see something without meaning and I haven’t for a long time. I can usually come up with something on my own to remind me to turn my head a away or start walking again. The gravitational pull of the earth alone will eventually remind me that I’m not really in pre-earth times and that I could move on and maybe see something else with non-meaning in the future, down the road.

To continue with my anti-humour. I feel I care about other peoples death too much, too little, never enough, too often. I’m concerned about the shape, length and diameter of my weewea. I really care what happens to woman and families that refer to themselves or their daughters as "an other candidate".

I’m concerned about the ozone.

I could go on and on. These a fucked up things. You know how people think different things about different things and that helps to make us different. Emotions actually. People feel differently about the emotions of people places and things and these differences makes us individuals.

But those things I mentioned are unemotional stupid things that people learn from other people or people on things. And well they seem to repeat them as code words, all the while unconcerned about the person with the crush behind them, that they don’t see or are unconcerned about. They repeat these things and we’re supposed to say, "hey that’s stupid," or you suck. Like their little magic suppositories that they can just put into their asses or brains. The male race. Yes here’s one more anti-humor. I’ve created the male race in an effort to provide devices to plug female orifices.

I know that sounds strange and true. But it could not be future from the truth. If your wondering to your self. Why have I created the universe. You might be thing about the parts about birthdays and stories to kids. And all that. That is like I said, relativity and a big part of being connected to God. But why. I know some why that is for sure. But his is about what. What is God. I know to you a lot will seem like why. Maybe more than when. But why did I create the universe.

My biggest thought on the topic, is so far. I haven’t met her yet. Maybe I met her and I don’t know she is her. Maybe she wont fucken tell me. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t. I sure the fuck wish she would. You know like a secret or a vow.

Why the universe, was created and her. Actually I think that is more shy the galaxy was created. And I’m talking about the metal one. Sure I was way off. A universe created of just me and metal. Metal-me. But what was the sex like. I mean we were all the same thing. 3000 earth years to form a cube. And then splat an almost flat, what would you call it. You know splat Like a sphere no shape. From a super cube to a sphere in 30 years. Fuck that’s fast. I suppose it seems that way. The truth is it is not fast 30 years or slow 300 years, it is just something that happened prior to this world we live on. A super terrific thing.

If you never got a sun tan, would you miss tanning in the sun. I mention that in case a human is out there or a thing, wining and going on about how important they "must certainly be" because I’m God. Poor sad tired God must have really missed all of us. Down here on earth. I don’t know what he fuck they are talking about. Earth is the biggest pile of funniness I’ve ever created.

I mean it. God’s being born. Let’s blow up half of France. And when the cops come to stop us we’ll kill everybody and tell them it was the government.

I’m going to wank off latter, and a volcano will go off probably near killing about thousand people. I told them not to go there about, I don’t know, A zillion times.

The wank that created Godzilla. Think about how ordered my life must seem to you before this earth. One idea then the next then the next. Over and over again.

Nahh I got to laugh. Slowly over time, I’m done everything I’ve ever done here. Sure there are miracles. But almost everything, say over 50, 000 years to be fair. I’ve been through.

I thought I’d know if it was worth it, that way. That turned out to be as I say, "not bright!" I’m in the middle of a rewrite right now. It’s just you can have your foot blown off and grow it back. But to do it again five hundred years from now. It’s just not the same. I guess I knew though. Knew something good was going to happen. I’d be the most important thing on earth. But not the everyday concern.

I’d care about everyone, but not really too much. I’d hate myself sometimes and kill other people for doing the same thing. I’d be me.

God. Super-God. Shit I hope they don’t expect me to fly. I’m just going to be me. Me me me.

The there’s this girl. She might come along and try t change me. What can I do t help. Sure the changes will be temporary. They always are. Like she might stretch me out and do strange things to my mind. Then I’m let go of these, horrible awful thoughts and come all over her face, arms hair. Where ever I can get the stuff.

I’m just saying it might happen. Will I feel the same afterward though. Or will I run away. Will I fear having to go to the bathroom afterwards or will I be able to do what I have to do.

Will she care or will it be on a dare. Maybe I’ll care too much and a little piece of me will destroy her, grab her by the hair in the bedroom so close to pain that she’d swear she couldn’t tell the difference till I touched her arm with my hand.

Light touching flesh. Being tight. With the woman you love. Isn’t that what love is all about. How emotional can a person be. I would think if our emotional reaction to things was the same we would have the same personalities. Maybe if for some hysterical reason we feel into the same emotional synchronistical orbit. Maybe we’d have the same emotional reaction to the stimulus at the same time for like twenty four hours. Till the pain of laughing drove us indoor. Where we lay in fright that it might end under-the-covers.

Under the covers with nothing but our minds and our wits to guide us into some things to keep us together in the morning when or emotions would be cured of the day that we feared would hold us in the past.

Some Things I’d Like To Say.

First off I’ll choose me. The funny thing is in real life I would probably choose to talk about her first. The Goddess. The why is a goddess about as important as God in some religions. And truthfully above the lowest emphasized in the lease emphasized religion.

But enough about here, let’s talk about me. I’m here thinking it though, watching my we’ll do it man , they wont be necessary video. It occurred to me that I might try to find out a bit more of what I have planned for my self during the what. First off I have a huge thing to change in all these things. I found out why people turn Evil along the way. So if it never happened and your staring at the enemies gun. Believe me bullets take a long time to heal from.

Anyway I’ve got these lives and they are out there. You see I like you are now, found out what my life was like, about, you know, during my who. It was cool. You see who I’m going to be is based on. Well It’s based on this crazy life I’ve got started. That’s right. Basically let’s say the galaxy to not be too literal. This galaxy is designed by me. So I know…. In the end of my designing what I’ll end up being. A stayer or a leaver. Anyway this design will help me to discover who. Which I’ve done. Now I’m finding out what. And what is fun. For me what is funner. Absolutely. If you agree that I designed the fucken thing. Then without doubt I will now start having more and more fun. The what for me will be about combining different lives I’ve had in the past. This in turn mixed with the design, of the "galaxy" should combine into making me into what I am. I’ve said it, so mote it be.

Now will I truly be what "I" the big barracuda, the bender mind intender really is. Not really. You see there is a "galaxy" out there and that galaxy is a tiny part of me. Now that tiny part of me will have to combine inside me at some point in order to be refreshed. That way it will not be evil. In order for a substance to maintain non evility it must return to the source in a t proportional to the affects of its squared roundness.

Roundness can be taken to mean the "exactitude of how much I like" the substances separateness from myself. Basically if you watch a creature or object do something so cool that it almost appears to shimmer. The shimmering is based on the number of times the creature or thing must return to God, inside me, to the exact location of the object, or approximate location of the creature. This is all the way it is now. At least until I’m done whating.

Anyway back to this Goddess thing. Why do people worship her so, Why do people think I‘m gay. The answer is tied in the same thing. For you see like most people I want the best for my goddess. You would say girl, woman. Dogs cats puppies all those things have there own names. Earth, water or steal etc. so on and so on infinite.

Well like I said the best. Not the most comfortable, or the most hommie, the most cool, or the best actor.

Now when I want something like a clean spring day. I go outside and if I self it right, I’ll have a nice clean spring day. Now if I was taking my goddess outside to have a spring day. I wouldn’t want a nice or a bad or a square or a stupid, spring day. I’d want the best.

Maybe I’m talking to my weather self and I’m going has she seen the one with the cloud you know the one with the spae in just he right spot, or the one with the shower and we have a place to go to. The best. I would want he best for me. Truthfully for myself I could be more fair. I think I’m drifting towards being nice to myself. Like I said in the plan. I’m in recovery. Well that’s right I think life is fair to myself. Or it sure the fuck should be. Anyway so when I’m with my wife or getting ready to get with her. I like anyone else want to give her the best. So how does this affect the gallexy everything in it and yourself while making me look gay.

You see when the possibility of us getting together draws close. There is a movement of the usual force that guides the wise. It begins to double. All of a sudden there is a force to providing the best for her. Just as strong eventually as the one for myself.

So basically you’ll see places she might go to as different. Becoming the best. I can not over emphasize enough how her life is not about being the best version of what hollywood true money lives better is. I think that world sucks.

But you will see a difference. I guess I can see why some people wouldn’t like her the "galaxy" moves for two now not one.

Some people enjoy pleasing a woman more than a man. It’s that fucken simple. So I guess I can see why you might enjoy the thought of me being with someone more than even myself.

I’m giving some stuff up. Like any person in any relationship, I’ll be giving stuff up. And that’s okay by me. I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I’ll use my imagination about what life could have been like before we ever got together.

The coolest places to be for me are going to be the ones where we are both together. Those places for me will rock. We are the bestest and the fairest. Hanging out together.

So you see if your thinking, like a real person in a real world, hey I’m putting a thing together and it feels like I’m doing it for God but the thing I’m putting together is feminine. It’s because you are doing it for me, for her. You see, it’s nice there is this little time delay before it really set’s. Some things are worth redoing. If you look back any story I tell her. (if you haven’t guessed I’m a story freak) Any story I tell her will include me telling her the story so there is even probably a masculine and feminine divine thought to it as well.

You know it’s so nice to get this into words. I feel so much better about a lot of things. It’s very hard to get used to people who you know and trust always wondering if your gay, or a half/man half/elk or something.

I know I have to laugh.

Anyway so that is it. The whole Goddess thing is based on yes things are just as good for her in away, not what she thinks is best. You run into a girl who is claiming that it is what she thinks is best. Shoot her. I’m no forgiveness machine. You’ve really deiced to be the bad guy during all this don’t think you can suck my squalonge and have everything okay.

You do however get the huge Goddess thing. I mean man, if your, say a person, who doesn’t really enjoy this male universe thing, the whole things going to seem quite male and female pretty soon. Even with the time delay on the female side. That’s what makes it feminine.

I think that’s neat really when you look at it. Maybe I am just a product of this universe. I know usually you’d swear I could bust the local equivalent of a boulder over my head. Yet in this world I’m so close to human. It was a scary part of who. Trying to be what in a way really. It’s definitely me to help myself. But who for me was more about what God is. Not what yeeyoh is. Finding out what God is was finding out who I am. Just like finding out who you are will be like finding out your God. I think that is true. When you truly know who you are it will be as cool for you as when I’ve known I was God.

Actually, I’ve got so many actualities going on that there are far too many to write.

Finding out what Yeeyoh is is going to be far more interesting for me. YOU see ever since this concept of something separate from myself existed. I’ve been obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it. There must be a thing that I’m trying to do that will make al the mistakes and thoughts and fears and fuck ups worth it. Like all the cool stuff we have today. What I think is nifair and what I think is best. So here we are. I will now attempt to be what right here on planet earth in an attempt to make the "galaxy" a permanent thing.

This may take more than a week. I have to laugh, "is it in the original design?" No not really. The original design included me dying in a blaze of glory on a cross. I don’t know though. I think it was the shit or the piss though. Something about taking what was good and then shitting or pissing out the rest.

I’d have to do more research.

Well, there are a couple of other notes that I should make about the female and me. First. I’m a cave man. I like to be clubbed over the head taken home and made love too. That woman should be the woman I end up with. There said it. Anyway I should also like to say how she’s Unique. You know how being unique was fun, when you young and stuff. And then all of a sudden you here Brian, half of you didn’t even know I was God then. Remember that was what who was all about then as well. Well, anyway, there you are as unique as fuck and I Brian go yelling about Individuality. Then you all become individuals and do you as I’ve said, stare at yourself till you make a mockery of yourself. Or do you go I was a pretty cool unique person now I’m going to be a pretty individual unique person.

You know how we in the eastern hemoshpere, north and south america. And that crazy thing down south. We have our robot times. Well her’s is being Unique. I know it seems strange, like you thought you had one of those home kids, because he was into the feminine side of the force thing. Back in the eighties. Then it turns out that he wasn’t gay it was just that unique people get way more into doing that feminine crap anyway.

Anyway me in love with a unique person. Who would of thought. She’d have to be her. Who else. In this crazy mixed up world the oldest person I can think of off the tip of my head who is unique, living and not the one. Is about 300 years old.

secret. We’ll call them the late catholics. Anyway so my guess as of this writing is as good as anybodies. Also it’s holding up the teleporting crap and all that as well.

Me not know. Which I do. But not here. Unless you know, it’s an emergency.

Of course I could go on and on about what I don’t like. Which I love to do sometimes, but to say the need for some sort of joy in the world is of a deep and penetrating nature is an understatement.

Anyway if anybody is trying to get the flow gong in there life and they don’t know what they are doing. Here is the deal… say there are about forty two little pleasure principals that you have to hit. Now each of these pleasure principals are very important. Not just for me and her. For you at least. Anyway. If for some reason you don’t like say the lower prices. Well there you go all those other ones will never be quite right. They’ll always be sort-a wrong.

That’s just the way it is. Its like mono-thermanucli-aro-dynamics. Sure we could here what the professor and all those other people have to say on the topic. But instead we could wait till it’s the easiest thing in the world and enjoy the thing that what ever the thing is that we get to enjoy by or from any body but me knowing what that is.

Back to the flow this though. Do you get what I’m saying. There are things in this Universe meant to change. And things in this universe that are not. Like a tree will grow different fruit. If we don’t starve during the process from one edible fruit to the next. Animals grow way different. That’s the that on that. But People we look the same. We have a primal design. We’re built like the metal galaxy, the light bulb galaxy. We are meant to survive the destruction of this universe. That’s quick judgment though. Ever see a disaster movie. Woman and children first. How your going to fit into a different dimension don’t get me started.

Okay so like those rules those waked out crazy God wrote them ain’t nobody but God supposed to fuck with them. Those rules are involved with the flow thing. Spring rains and cars driving by care too. Well those rules, those rules will not allow my best for her and fair for me to occur. Sure I had a great time, sure it was great. But would I go back. Would I spend my money there.

I fucken hate the her best people. If they are too stupid to clue into the fact that we are talking about God here. Well fuck’em what used to take 63 years. Is now becoming forty three etc.

Sure you look at the ass on that 300 year old blind chick and tell me if you wouldn’t pause a minute before shoving her off into the category of shit disturbers. They want some shit to though in the fan. Then it get in the air and we end up breathing and almost eating shit, instead of shitting it out.

Ohh yeah, three years, two years, …. Hah hah ha!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah but that is about it. What isn’t who, it’s what, like the materiel, the imagination. The need to create. The desire to create things that create. The imagination. The hypyr-vision. The thought waves the growl.

Unique. Yeah she’s unique. What is unique. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. She’s still finding out who. Unique I always loved unique people. Easier to tell I was God. If you knew how many people crawled around me trying to find out, "why are you so different". It makes the number of countries and almost countries I was talking about earlier. Well, like more. There were more of the let’s call them, "the beetle people".

And well the flow and how it’s affected by this unique being. It must be cool to know God loves you. Your like. Well your liked loved by God. Most of his friends are pretty doped up when it comes to this one person thing. And the rest of the people want to kill you a little more than God. Not way more mind you. But a little more.

Don’t worry I get my spirit during what.

Ohh yeah I’m not summing up the what will continue I will continue it’s going to continue. I’m the continuer. The one who’s is continuing while I’m continuing about continuing.

Ohh And I just time traveled when no one was looking and if you hate me for it I hope you burn in hell. Ha ha ha ha.

I Know I Haven’t Titled In A While

Well, here we are the great work. The straight man the strange man and I know I am that man. The be all end all, man. The man, A man. A man amongst any men. This is my fate. The fated fate. The end of destiny and the beginning of Destiny. The zame the end is the beginning the how long can you keep wring man. I’m done, I guess……. Sure I could go on about how I love you and you love me. And all that. But that would be silly. That would be uncool. That would be the greatest thing I could do.

I’m going to take some time to my self. Get my computer in order. Redo some pictures ahead of time. And get back to you, which is me. Oh did I mention that. We, meaning you are all inside of me. AM I actually ever inside myself. I’ll have to get back to you one that. I also have to get around to explaining that all the plants, trees rocks all in their proportion are inside of me. Don’t worry I don’t think the humans, will be able to take us out. We are strong, we are veggie.

Hi How Are You Today.

I’m writing in reply to the resent notice that I might only be pretending to be "The King Of Israel" Now I know. I just heard that too. Isn’t strange that people who think that they would never "sell out" are trying t get me to think that those gang names where all a joke.

Now weather I was ever in a gang is technically weirder than you might think. They don’t actually all meet like a young person might wonder. They do things like masturbate in the same place and smell each others sperm to see if the person before them was the right person. And those are the straight guys.

Anyway I wasn’t really. I mean I’m a nice guy when I have a smoke and stuff, but remember you might be taking that smoke away from some one I care about. And so on etc. etc.

Anyway you should see the guys I hang out with in that world of not quite always all persons meeting. There’s guys there that, well I don’t know I’ve met a couple that they couldn’t quite pull of you can "surely sit the fuck down."

Stuff like that. I met a guy once who proved I was God. For one thing about to go APB hog shit wild all over the air waves. But I decline to say what "his" day job is.

Anyway. Real fun in the real world. I always come across as the guy who’s getting himself killed. I always salute, the I’m not into not getting you killed as much as that people. I think it is them above all others that make me care about the people I care about. Cause fuck man, you see a guy who can wrestle a alligator and he looks tired on a Friday. Well things are getting ruff.

It’s fun though. I enjoyed my fight in Toronto and all that. But I always enjoyed being the guy who just couldn’t fight. You know the funny guy. The "Bullet’s, smullets," guy. The guy who could just laugh that stuff off, if there wasn’t some guy trying to execute me with his "scope" all the next, ohh let’s just say three weeks. You know "hanging out."

Those were the days. This city makes hanging out look like some sort-a. I don’t know is it the lack of colour. Is it the fact that everybody around here worth caring about is so, (fuck, and darn come to mind) tired that they just can’t quite celebrate, the next day. Like in the big city.

Yes, I’d like to believe the big cities aren’t going to turn into a big cease pool during this but. The rich man comes in for vacation. He’s got cash. The guy at the counter wants to sell pop for the right price. Can he though, can he desert all his friends just to screw the guy over who loves his city so much he’s willing to go there on holidays.

I don’t know but it seems like that. First it’s an air raid siren. Then it’s the increase at beer prices at your favorite place. Then the homeless are very cordially rounded up and taken off the street. Next comes the stereo-typical suburban version of what fun is. Then it’s the guy with the strippers’ up the road. At this point in the holidays. He looks normal. And it just goes on until the local favorite "politician is getting a blowjob from a girl other than his wife. And he’s turning to me, God saying don’t worry my wife will forgive me because, I go that thing done you asked for.

And he thinks it’s about rounding up "terro-homeless white people" who are sheep or something.

Anyway, I have no intention to explain a world like that. But those gangs in the "wilds" smelling each others sperm. He’s what I call around here. "Fancy-sperm" he might not see it. But he ties all his decisions (if you want to call them that) based on the reputation of his party, or reign. If you wan to get into the fancy talk.

It’s him and the gangs or the gangs and him. Or "The gang" and there’ll all going hey. How was tommies year. And how was your year. Don’t worry next year will be better and all that. And it just keeps getting worst and worst.

The true politicians make great changes and they rock. And if there truly great they hate standing out, because standing out means the previous, one two or three and four. Politicians sucked. And their citizens deserve more.

Anyway back to the fun part. We love the citizens. Some of us have even loved them. My only panic on this is the fact that the Human, and I use this turn loosely. Actually ahs limits to the amount of "non-successful love" they can give… Before you just don’t give a fuck any more. Etc. etc.

Think about that when your trying to save that whore or who ever that is working the street. You know the only thing they ever said to me was. Your God, so you not really a man. So your alright. And I think she was lying to get me to open the door.

Anyway don’t get me started on the male fuck ups.

If I’m The King Of Israel. Is She The Queen.

I don’t know. Oh I was going to mention that I don’t plan on winning this Isreal thing overnight. It will take about ten years from the time I started this years fun. The coolest countries have probably given themselves about fifteen years.

I know when you live up hear life is so fucked. You just don’t know what it’s like.

How much what is my love for who. Ohh yeah we decided to cancel the whole spy loving me thing. It seems to cause the person to really want to fight for there country. Which is great but there are so many countries and they kind-a see something there. It’s not true but if they could make it true. U.S.A. might for example say that all the races are the greatest. That they are all needed to get things done, to be real, to be able to stay afloat in this world.

Of course they would want this. There country is the biggest melting pot. Of norms, hopefuls, weirdo’s, helpful helpers and craziness than anybody has ever seem.

You see they are wrong. Racism sucks even helpful racism. It’s just not good. I want to hang with the guys who are hanging. I want to be myself. They do to they just don’t want you to know who they are. Just like, are you ready, "any normal human being."

I don’t know maybe it’s well. This city is weird. If your into North/South america right into the bone and you love the creete thing. Your probably not going to love this city too much. The torque to my safety is so hi most days that it would send you up the wall.

Me too really. I mean I love it I like to know when it’s really really up there. Like now.

Okay here’s the problem. I’m supposed to be writing this book about what. Oh by the way I’m finished. And then along comes the thought of the girl. Ever hear of a band, everything but the girl. Well that is about how most of my life feels. I’m the type of guy. Well, you toast is burned. You either pick up a couple of new pieces, or you scrape off the burned part. And that is that. No mocking the toast. No making fun of it. It’s just sad. I mean I know deep down. I’m like having a three way conversation with the toast. It’s fun. But I don’t know I just can’t get into it on my own. It bugs me. And with the wrong person. Might as well put the soother in my mouth and I’ll just sit there and blink once in a while.

You know, "what you doing?" Not much. "How was your day?" "Not Bad."

You know dull. Dull people, who would have thought. Anyway, so I get talking about this girl. Like and now that is all that is on my mind. Not all my mind when I’m doing much of anything else. But at the same time when I go to write I wonder about her. Am I putting too much pressure on her. I mean I’m God. She’s got to be into that. Being God is what turned me onto this whole life thing to begin with. I mean you know. I loved being God, myself what ever. Hey let’s make something all that sort of thing.

But being God. Getting a grip on the fucker and really twisting my rule right screwed into it’s(the living, planet, you name its’) neck. Fuck that seemed like a good time.

I mean fuck, I’m God and what I’m doing should be important. That’s right life and death all day twenty four hours a day. I’m back, me they guy who wishes to fuck you would at least do something with your life, I mean you know like….

I’ll come up with something it’s my duty. Anyway back to this what thing. What will she make me like. What will she make me do. Who’ll get killed because of it. How many people will become (the slave to coincidence). Everything is a result of here. Robot reporting for duty. I’m kidding. She better change me though. This whole thing is designed to change me. Have you guessed the program yet. This whole universe is designed to make me remember not to give up on things I’ve created.

I don’t how to put that more literally. It’s cool dude, no problem. I’ll get it done. I will not give up. Someone is gong to come along that wont sell out in the wrong country and then it will be getting done. I’m not concerned. I’m not giving up on getting things done in time. Eventually, we wont need your sorry ass for that project.

Anyway. I’m sure eventually it will work. I just hope it’s in this life time.

Last Night

Last night I got in a fight. And it was brutal. I’m not sure really what happened. Lot’s of drinking and fucking. But when it was all sorted out there was Je-sus everywhere. I’m not sure. I’m lifting one guys legs and then I’m throwing myself over there. And there’s all these beautiful women everywhere. I must have been hallucinating.

Right now there are cabs and cars out there. We’re not even sure if half these people are there in the city. This might be a city to city thing. I find it funny. I’m judging the enemy. No, no thanks, get the fuck out of here. No no thanks get the fuck out of here. So if your older and your dying I’m sorry your death might stand out a little. It’s the time of the year.

Remember this may sound odd, but historically in about a bizzion bizzion years times fifty. Hitler just turns out to be misunderstood. Should this happen I’ll be sure to take a cool shower and come into bed. Make love to the wife. Laugh at myself in the mirror, and find a way to make the most permanent thing in my life.

Hell, you got to love me. I’m funny. Anyway I should continue. On a latter note a few of the faceless masses should know that a couple of them are actually in padded psyche wards waiting till they are totally here. If they choose to stay then it would be my pleasure to make them an entire person. In a few maybe five years or so. I might even come up with a whole family history. You could say, I’m from New, nouveu, brunswick. My family used to fish and hunt up North. It was way back in 1962 or something.

I guess I didn’t get to go there much. My parents never talked about that time much. Must have been pretty bad. Anyway , no where not hillbillies. We had a car and as far as I know the guy up the road still has the swimming pool. Religious, well as far as I can tell they had the shit scared out of you by the age of six or so. I don’t know if they’re still like that though. Etc, etc.

Those are the greatest. You should try that if you live in the big city. The guy from there, the guy doing well. He’d probably suck your knob to here a story like that. I guess it’s the type of thing where if you don’t know people live normal somewhere,,, You’d just go nuts.

It’s funny though, I think when I moved to the big city, they thought I was from an alien ship or something.

What drugs are you on. It’s not that,, who wasn’t… Do you know that you just went off the floor and that those people are studding you to copy "you" me basically everything.. for movies and stuff like that.

"yeah, (this is over loud music.) yeah but if you could not mention it I’d really appreciate it. I’m trying to have a little fun before I die and I don’t think I could continue to come here if I get to aware of them and what they’re really like.

Reply, "Okay, I thought you should know, Oh by the way I hate them too. "aside to self,,,(spiritual bri maybe I should ask him why they are here….) I have a friend who is into you. But she isn’t,,, the right fucken word. Anyway if you see her…

Anyway the chick turns out to be a narc stirring up shit for the latest language fight. First there’s the little one. Everybody, heh heh goes. I guess that’s okay. Them comes the torrent right in the middle of summer.

You ever live up north, right in the middle of fucken summer.

Christ, the first time I was, up north, as a person. I’m standing there and this big building "breeze" is biting through my face. The air is about –30 celsus. And as we maritimers say when we’re in those spots. It’s a fucken dry cold. And some ass in on TV screaming about wind chill. Had he said deadly, had he said might die. In the summer, I know it’s fucken you might hear about the heat exhaustion…. Blah blah blah.

And I’m leaning into it and screaming inside. The fucken joy the fucken fun. If I don’t make it to the subway station around the place in thirty minutes I’m going to die. I mean fucken rocken. For once it’s out of their hands. Fuck dude it was great.

Then your standing at a bus stop. And these two fucken racists are looking at me grinning. That night it was about forty below and die fucken no wind and the last bus of the night. No card, no money on me. Card no bank machine I think.

Anyway they look at me are you in pain, is everything hell on you. There’s a homeless person at the bus stop. Probably hasn’t had a chance to help anybody in about 20 years. There’s a homeless person, let’s ask her if she wants to come back with us to get warm. Minus forty on cement with a winter coat. Good fucken luck. Anyway no. You can get the fuck out. Drop dead. Thanks lady. People wonder when I ditched these arse whole I left Saint John with. Especially mister Chris Armstrong and his help you when your down story. Fuck them. Too bad most of my friends around here are what I recently call repressed homo-sexuals. Had anyone spoke up beside. Mrs. Fucken help’em when he’s down Armstrong.

Anyway, I hope that ladies okay. I hope she’s got the husband the kid. And I hope he’s a fuck’en rock star at school.

Hi.

Hi, I know you thought I was going to go on about. Me, I’m the one, and the only one. The one that means the one and I am that one. I could be no other than that one. I’m super one. The one from when Time began. There could be no other one than the one that is me that is the one.

Yes I guess I could go on an on. About how repetitive it would be to go on and on, about how I am the one. But I would like to say a few words about being the only one. God that is.

Over the next "few days" hint hint. We are probably all going to go through a phase were everybody starts to say. He ain’t the one. There ain’t only one. The one is just the who or the what.

The punch line is that they probably think that I can not doing any when or where stuff. I mean really I know I can, I believe I can. But can you believe I can too. And maybe just maybe you’ll get a glimpse at who.

You see there are other people who feel they run this world. And the closer this get’s to being the kind of world I want to have. The more and more these "old time fucks" are going to come out of the wood work and try to convince you otherwise. They do this because the closer it get’s to the top in the end. The more stupid it will make you to believe that I do not run this earth.

You see it’s their little secret. They absolutely do not want you to believe that I rule this earth. The "stars the moon the whole fucken earth."

And for that reason and that reason alone they’ve tried to kill little Brian all my life. Well hey someday I felt like killing myself too. If you think they love living their little secret. They sure the fuck love those days. Sometimes it’s when I’m taking a shit. I’ll be all constipated and then I’ll want to die. Great pain, great pain. Whoo whoo whoo. And then it’s out and over with.

Funny, If you where to ask em this tomorrow I would laugh my head off at the fact that I’d want to talk about that. Then if I’m with the right chick and you bring it up. I hope your girlfriends near cause we’ll talk about it and then we’ll all laugh at you and hope you die.

Fuck and me I don’t have to worry about what I hope for.

Anyway I was in the can , talking to the Indian and black man about what it was like to have to use camel skin for hut’s instead of grandma’s and how they’s stupid but not like we don’t fuck up once in a while.

I looked over at the skull I have to keep change in and I said to myself. I bet a lot of people think all that prestuff right up to "life" had a lot to do with the creation of this universe. I have to laugh.

Sure a lot of those things are here. Eventually it all will be. Either out there or up there or in here. And I thought know. I had a lot of cool ideas. Like there are these guys who look like chess pieces and they like talk. But not like we do. They’re like the timeless ones, I call them. Not all those ideas just those guys. And they would say funny things that made me think. I would say ideas everytime I got them to give me a laugh, but it happens so fast you would swear that that they got me to laugh. Anyway they are a fucken riot. I still get a laugh when I see them. They killed me, in the end. Just kidding. Fuck fuck’en hilarious.

Anyway, One time there is this wall of brick wood and there is a water behind it. A very dark water. And I’m "walking" towards the wall. I’m about to do a "little investigating" real serious like and then walking right up behind me. The timeless ones. Ohh my fuck I’m turning and laugh thinking about about what goings on because I’m not just thinking from the laugh like I usually would be supposed to. Then latter like now I realize that I might not want to investigate everything about woman. I might not enjoy real ones as much when they are around.

Fuck I think that was funny. Used here this one. There is a bar in Montreal called foufouns electric. And I go in and it looks way different than I remember. I’m like. It used to be bigger and all that. All this basically is is where white people go to trade drugs.

Anyway as time went on it expanded to the point where it started to look like the one I used to go to before time. Then about the time when they put in the swimming pool. In the one I used to go to. The started putting this gym thing in. I was disappointed till one of the Girls. (That’s what they called them back then) I had a crush on. Put up this sign thing right in the middle of the night. She was like on the wall or a step ladder or something. And I thought. Wow, you like it. It can’t be all bad. Off course the place pretty much went hell after that. Of course those who don’t believe those things might wonder about how much got done in one year.

I mean I’ve heard of expansion but his place was nuts. Ha ha. Fuck it would have been fun if those timeless guys showed up. But bye then I’d killed them because I couldn’t think of anything to do with them.

Anyway….Humm-a Maybe Not.

It makes me tired to talk about the old days. Night day. "what up with dat!?" I loved life. I was in love with life. And then it occurred to me. I must kill everybody so I could make an earth. This was the greatest day ever. Of course it took time and planing. But I manage to have some fun along the way.. So I decided to do the same here. I’ve had my who. It wasn’t easy. But to say I lived it well. I kept having to come back here for.

I Am A Race Of One.

I am a race of one. I am not all in one place. It’s fun. Actually I am according to all the laws of physics, math, neutronium, philosophy. Off all the other things though. If I may quote the timinazong, "he ain’t all there." Which I hear here. It’s right fucked up. I love being me. I know I know the most important things to get down is the protect the body stuff. Then it’s on to the weird stuff. It will make you laugh it will make you think.

I know I sound weird for writing this stuff down. I do though. Remember the sealed chamber. Who do you think lives at the end of this. Those that just couldn’t quite be our friends. Or those that decided. "This is fuck-en God man, I’m in !!!"

I’ll tell you truthfully. If your not prepared to be my friend. You’ll be dead. There ain’t know way about it.. There is no time to change. If your having a child right now. I hope your happy. If your really really into such a scene. Then if you could wait a few years. Let'’ say 2005 or so. Then I would really appreciate it. Maybe your kid will to.

I hate dad kid. I really do. Right in the middle of world war three. Don’t go dropping a babie in on the scene. Wait it out. What’s a matter scared your going to stay young. I mean yeah I know people have to age… Right now a few people I’ve seen around for about ten years are begging to look, I don’t know a week to a month older. It’s frightening. I mean is this to be it. I’ll always be young, well twenty three that ain’t too bad. But if I was with the right woman. Don’t you think we’d find a way. I mean this earth is upset and it does need dead people. But maybe with the right woman. I would be okay. I could either, learn to live with myself and dump her when she started to look old. Or I could maybe make her look young and then play around with her little child mind when she came home tired. You know like men are supposed to.

What Is It Like To Be God.

Well, humm. The funny truth of the day. Is in the real world there are suburbans and psycho killers. I Love then both? No in the real world there are good psychokillers and good suburbans.

If one was to take a pie chart and show the amount of good psycho killers compared to the amount of good suburbans. Like if they all hung out the psycho killers and the suburbians. You would find that the good psycho killers and the good suburbans all out number the others.

Now which group has the highest percentage of good suburbans to good psycho killers. The psychokillers. They are on a mission. They have embraced life. As their psycho analysts though. Why do they come after me, and if that is true, how come I’ve never been killed by one. Often a bad psycho killer or a bad suburban will see something that makes them think God can help me. I think God alone can help me.

They might say what does he like. The suburban might open a shop, a diner or something. Someplace where people gather and they "chew the fat".

The psycho killer might want to do the same. The thought is as you’ve probably guessed. In The connection. Like I said earlier. What are you here for. Why is your life important to me, or me, or me. No matter what the mood I’m in. Well there you go the psychokiller might have a connection. Something they like. But it’s like the diner thing. I love diner things. They are like my Israel. The coolest of the cools. There all the time all over the world, and once in a while I go in. I have my breakfast. And I know that everything is okay.

So what does the psychokiller have to offer. Like I would have said "ham and eggs" and now said breakfast. The thing, the connection psychokillers offer me is Time. If you take the four bonds of marriage. I’d been going on about. Magic, natural magic,(I don’t know, don’t tell.), Let’s say Fung Shui, or What has happened to me, (Time). Everything I know that has happened to me is "Time".

What we consider time is just that and it is a bond of marriage. Very important to me. Is magic even in time, really. Is natural magic a part of time just as important. Is the blending of two lives, a blending that goes forever in time. Time. I’ve let some pretty fucked up things happen to me.

I am time. Now say that to yourself, if you’re here. "He is time". Being God is freaky, but the discovery of being time is freaky too. Everything that happens to me affects time. This has happened to me before. If you’ve ever heard stories about me being with friends and coming back all freaked out, from a walk on "the mountain."

It’s because, you know how you do stuff to me and I let it go… Something stopped me from telling them to stop because they would get hurt. Time. You see I’m God. I don’t forgive, forget, forgobble. But even if I wanted to tried real hard. It was a mistake, you know al that stuff. If I’ve been personal affected in anyway. It will come back to you. That means anything good, anything bad you do to the earth, air, moon stars, myself’s yourself. Me, myself in person. Any of those things that get back to me, passed out or otherwise. Have affected time.

Sorry to go on about that too much. But if you look at the forth really strong vow of marriage. It is just as strong and complicated. I saw a guy appear in a store, just to stop something that would affect his marriage, maybe ten, twenty years from now.

So who has the better life. Psychokillers, suburbans. I think it comes down to your vow of marriage vows. Of of of this is getting of. Magic, do you like that, you do stuff and you would swear people around you are doing stuff to get things done for you and then you get to see people appear and stuff. Natural magic. You look like your fucken dead or possessed sometimes then these people are like talking to you that haven’t said hi in a while.

Fung, shui. Where things around you seems like it has to be moved, "Once in a while." Until the other person comes along, and then it’s like there’re moving stuff too.

Yes in the real world you get to see furniture stores open and close, stuff like that.

Or Time. Me what happens to me affects your marriage. Yes it is a little more complicated than with another person. This that we do affect me. And things that are done to me. The only way, this is done directly, in a normal sane world. Affect me too.

There is also the fact that my marriage includes all four.

Well, that’s it I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m going to go on and on about my wife now.

The formal bows of marriage though. Fuck that is cool. All a person has to do to get with me, have magic vow, natural magic vow, Fung Shui vow, and Time, including affecting time directly.

Of course the diner I eat in affects me directly. The clothes I wear affects me directly. So to those other types of suburbans, those psycho killers. That are going to give me my earth. That are going to let people worship me. Etc. Those those that feel they can control magic, nature, fung shui, Time. I say "Good Fucken Luck." Because according to or research according to our reconnaissance. You be dead.

It’s funny. I’d love to own a shop during a fung shui experience. One minute your all setup things are going good. Next thing you know it’s like a storm. You’ve got to be somewhere. You’ve got to get things done. The storm is coming, or the "breeze that does not blow." And if your in the right place or out of there. Your screwed. Your gong to be the one sinking the ship. Someone has taken your place. There’s no reason to panic. You’ve missed the wave, abandon ship. You might come out alive. The shop that is. You didn’t do anything directly to poison or dissuade my brothers.

Life the big lie. If all I had to offer life. Maybe one person on this entire planet would take that. There is something very sexual about what I’m saying when your just lying there.

I have more to offer though..(I better be careful or she’s going to be all what instead of who. Heh heh heh. Maybe I wont be too hard to be with because I’m fucking God and it will balance out. And there is other stuff too.

But I do have more to offer people than just life. Trust me, If I don’t want you to be alive, I’m taking that gift back. Constantly as we speak, till the year 3000 if I have to. But there is other things than life. There is magic, and nature, real magic in nature. And there is Fung Shui. To avoid kung fu cutting each other when your making potatoes years latter.

And then there is Time, not God pursay keeping you together, who’s ta say. But Time it self. Over time and under time and did that sound nice and know why life ain’t fair. It’s the best I could do. And turning on the TV while I stand there glaring going I told you there is nothing Good on. And you’re the kidd being the kids who turned it on. And you better not pull a blow job on me or take one away after that. It could be the power plant. And I thought the Fung shui would work and it didn’t because the rooms to small and it turns out I thought you were in the now. And it me being stupid talking to you with my mind and I kiss you to make it up and it’s because I wanted the best for you. And without even knowing it you’ve made me feel like I’m the best. Cool. Because I’d never say that. I might think it. And then I’d realize your not in the now and we’d know each there so well. It would all work out. And even if hell itself. Pretend hell. Was to occur. I’d still kiss you and you would leave me, because we’d be like, kill them all and let God sort it out. And like no one would come alone with there fucken Napalm. Dish deodorant to seal in the death. And those fuckers would be dead.

I think I should get this down, before I go to far in this book. If you need me. Separate from you not mathematically the same. Not earth ingredients the same. Not from the same pod. Philosophically I might wonder about.

But some people might wonder about. Have you ever seen the guys who can protect their kids. Like there is a storm in the rain on TV or anything like that. The grab the kids and run away before the lightening get there. You see there is a difference between a lightening storm and just a rain storm. I always liked the run into the house and then back out when the sun comes out sort of approach.

Anyway, as the the sun shines in the sky and I have a pretty good idea where the trees are in the ground. There is a pattern to this universe. Like tree roots growing up though the ground. The ground and the tree, "agree" that this will take place. The process will require both the earth to open, let’s say, and the roots to enter the deeps of the earth even more. This is the way it is. Some people live their lives that way. Is this what I mean by natural magic. If your thinking your the only one who can get there kid out of the lightening storm along the way. You’ve lost your way along the way.

So I guess technically once again, people who follow God aren’t worried that their father is some evil bastard trying to kill them. While on the other hand those that are are hopefully all okay and ready to get back in there. and everything will be okay in the morning. Or the next morning. New world. Pretty much the same. Not much different. What are they going on about.

Enough about you though. This is my Book. I’m God and this is what and I’m trying to find out what. About myself. I don’t like to be convinced that I’m not God. Remember I found out a lot about what you call what God is and all that along the way as well. And I really don’t like to be told I’m not what God is, or when people get way off base about what God is. I’m finding out what. And that may sound like how I make a decision, or who gets to live or die. But what is more about what I am. I know we live in math, and science, and the laws of physics and stuff. "That’s all cool and the gang." But what am I. What am I made of. Like I said. Really by the end of what. I’m not sure I’ll be built in Time. What am I. Yeah I can see that. That is a great who. I’ve traveled the universe. Stuff like that. Mostly the Fung shui’ers. How the fuck did that happen… Magic. Natural magic, natural selection. The species meeting down to the very fiber of this f-ing thing this time. When I say I’m a Masculine straight God. It does mean I don’t like. Any man, or women who are into women. Staring at me so much they are seeing my let’s say graph/graft or fiber of my being. But is going to take time for the enemy to stop doing.

Time what do the what my being has experienced people talk about. We’ll everything from "Star trek" to how "I" teleported into that store. Bone’s reporting, "If I have to do that again. You can rip out my skull if it makes you feel better" They talk about stuff like that.

Doesn’t mean your going to die if you kiss a tree. Doesn’t mean your going to drown if you moved a store into a place you two don’t go to. Doesn’t mean if you tell a guy that "Q sucked his knob." Your going to die. Magic. Don’t fuck with the magic. I’ll give you a clue. If all I said before means God can take a Joke and we all have our moments and sometimes I get angry over something I couldn’t do myself. It especially means don’t fuck with the magic. Magic people, magic things. Two separate things. You ever heard of stop playing God. Never on your life in a million fucken years fuck with the Magic. People who claim to be part of magic,,, I’d like to know how. Never even bother with them. They are too fucked up. I can definitely see being a person going, "I’m a crystal, I’m a crystal" all sorts of things like that. Some are outright hilarious. Anyway it’s a thing like staring at my uterus or something. You might come out alive.

The Closeing Of The End

Yes, I’m drawing near to the end of this book. I’d just like to say that I started doing this for something to do before it would be safe for my bride and me to get together. If you could take the thought of heading towards the right girl makes your life better. Or heading towards the wrong girl makes your life worst, then this is definitely the right girl. I mean I’ve never had such an easy time writing a book. I’m digging it.

Right now in Saint John, there is so much going on. Cereal killers off to the left. Rapist and lunatics visiting and being judged everyday. As far as fun and good times go. There is a bar. I think a secret lesbian, lair where they lay their traps by setting up males to, take the fall, in front of their mindless Home-wives.

Yes I can see their plan so easily. Like I can start to see mine. Oh be the way if you’re a friend and all. Don’t try and rush too much through this book. I’m not in a hurry to get to the when. And these are, not mostly, very not mostly, expressions the when and the where and all that. I mean if you have something in the past you have to change or something like that. Don’t think rushing is going to help.

Also, maybe once this sets in we’ll all enjoy a little rest.

Right now there is a war on American television. Troops paraded across the screen. Soon, there will probably be troops that died in the gulf and other wars right there on the TV. Years latter they where going to fight for something. Nothing in there world has changed. They still look for a world with invisible walls.

You want to give me money for something, "no strings attached", fine. No problem. I might even give you an autograph. Someone got one the other day. I wont say who but their friends could sure learn some manners.

Hey I just thought of a even more summation way of saying, or writing the commands. People without manners don’t matter. I mean that scientifically of course.

Like I was saying though, if your out there and you wan to pay me for some miracle or favor. Have already passed the don’t pay the church test. Don’t look for someone else wounds to un-heel. I’ll take it out of your ass instead.

The only thing I ask is that you. A, very important, don’t pay some ex-cereal killer rapist/chicken fucker, to come in here and give me a cigarette.

Happens every day. Jesus, I know Jesus, Then it’s off to the races, or where ever else those people go. Haven’t seen a dime yet, not a scratch.

As I’ve mentioned, the local zone is also crawling with every-type of crook, asshole and racial-stereotype the world would imagine.

You might think they are all after me, no. There were hoping to turn Saint John and New York, into well. A lawless zone, I guess. You know a place for crooks to go when the heat was on, that sort of thing. If you’ve ever stalked a cereal killer or tried to prevent what I sometimes refer to as, "a long haul hustler." (They don’t do bold criminal activity, then are used for a killing or mass murder, some are retired and some are retired.) Then you know that places like this are as resting places for the criminals, a place where they can come to take off running factor. My local nut house is a good example. That place has been taken over I couldn’t tell you how many times. Always with the same result. They begin behaving like the people who used to work there before. It’s in the walls as they same.

And then of course the long haul hustlers are there as well, trying to learn to blend in. The funny part is there trying to blend in with a bunch of hardcore criminals. Good practice. But that is what they try to do.

I imagine, New York must look like every hardcore criminal, every international leader killer that is still living, is walking around going yeah we got them.

If they got away with so much, how come they have to be so stoned. How come they, they can’t live with themselves, How come they have to come here and go there to hide. What’s a matter did you join the wrong side.

Yeah, so like I said, this city is way to dangerous, for ma and pa, to come breezing though to pay me for anything. But if you feel like it cut out the middle man. That includes, no phoning my bank. I might decide to use how you know what bank I have I a court of law. No phoning my folks or family matters. Telling them how to live. The list goes on, it also includes not phone my government, any branches of the military, or police departments. All these are viewed as an attempt to have "real men" fall into your stereo-typical born again view of what I am. I am not your new television monetary "Love-desiple".

Take your cash enjoy your summer holidays and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

On a personal note I think I killed someones hitman today. Sorry about that but I don’t take being stalked lightly. I think they wan to be near death or something, look, if you knew how small a part of my life death is. I think a lot of those people would lose their fascination with me.

In a life time of maybe a billion years. Death will eventually be one second of it.

What A Citizen Should Know

Well for one thing, I’ve taken over. No all your governments pensions etc didn’t disappear. But I’m sick of it. This need for me to have a day Job, well paying or otherwise. Is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard of in my life. That is why I made you all half evil to begin with. I’m sorry for anybody who got caught in the cross fire. Myself included. It’s stupid though and I’m not putting up with it.

The local crazies and killers aren’t weren’t really zoning in on death, even though they do it more and more everyday. I think many of them get a kick out of people disappearing when the distance between us grow too long.

Anyway the people who send them around and ship them are probably hoping just for the place to rest and learn. They’re actually hoping I’ll move soon so they can make fun of many things. Personally they like to have me in a city like Montreal where they can make fun of me, as a failure for not joining their kill and steal for a living "economy". As they make fun of global governments for making God have a day job. The part about what they are making fun of government for is funny. All they offered me was jobs and lifestyles that would take more time than any day job I’ve ever thought of.

So the both of them, the wrong side and the right side offered me day Jobs anything, but stop being God. Funny more and more citizens don’t want to put up with it.

I can’t blame them though. I lost any thought that government, global or otherwise would work out long ago. Truthfully. With what I know, I can over no faith, that the government of this country or any other country is going to do anything for me for being God.

I’ll probably end up getting a day job eventually. Only when I’m sure it’s not going to affect what I do the rest of the time though.

I know, if your thinking my life is hell or awful, you should know that my job can be done while eating pizza or having a coke at the mall.

I wont on the other hand be cleaning a toilette or scubbing a chalk board in front of a class while I’m ascending someone to hell or holding observances over a dying/dead grand mothers funeral.

So I do a lot. I like to have control of myself. (I’m taking over). No if ands or buts. If you think that means you joined the wrong side. Your wrong though. Because I’ve told you. Manners, is the right way to live. And that my friends, is true.

I think it’s important to to remember, that as You’ve turned to God through out your life and I’ve given you advice. I stick by what I’ve said. You might be an asshole who I’ve fooled into thinking that your going to win the war. Or you might be doing things that you never thought you’d do. And loving it. Of course you might have to move on or stop sometime in your life too. Like I’m asking these "world leaders" to do. We’ll see who let’s go easier. Each and every one of them had the chance or opportunity to just call it quits and go home.

I’m looking forward to seeing the light on this book. It should offer many interesting things that might help with me getting into being myself again. Sure I’ve been myself. But not on top of it myself. You know I’ve been behind the scenes me. Not right in your face me. It’s funny you know the local killers and thugs. If you give them the finger. They phone the police. Fuck I’m glad I don’t have people like that working on my side. My guess is they probably kill old ladies and people right after surgery. Because no one else would hold the hold the blade for them when their hands got too week.

Fuck, I bet they don’t like the word fuck too much either. Men and women, who were never really raised well, all looking for their mom or dad out there in the wild. I laugh, why didn’t they find God. Well because I’m not really your mom or your dad. Shit I’m not even related to you at all. If I didn’t have two arms or legs you’d probably think that I was like everywhere or something.

My Mohawk

Well, I’m thinking about getting a mohawk, I know it sounds weird. God with a mohawk. It’s only going to get worst. Who knows what I’ll look like at the end of this book. I mean I God, I’m me, I am Yeeyoh. A good mohawk. If anybody was watching this video the other day. They had a back-fly about these people who’ve chosen to live, sort of like those beings I’ve talked about earlier. The ones that made me laugh and stuff. Anyway, you got-a include the business men, who look almost the same. We never see their wives, and the roomers of cars are not for the young.

Female business types who would have thought…

Anyway, as all that old stuff is phased out this will become more and more the reality. So hear I am, some of those things as old, or older than shape. And I’m watching this and thinking ot myself, realizing that the form, or shape of my bride must be something from that time as well.

The look, oh yeah I’m spreading disease and pestilence throughout the youth who judge each other by looks and economic/social status. My way of saying grow up.

So what does she look like. I mean sure each person has an individual DNA pattern that tells what they have done what are going to do and what they tried to do. And woman, who are the smarter species when compared to man, spend quite an amount of time working on their looks. Many have a look. On a comical note; the possession of an idea for a look will often cause the weaker of the species to wait till they see that look on another of their species.

Often the a new look will be copied by these people while they wait for others to form their look. Many women do not enjoy their look being copied. Most people learn to live with some sort-a compromise.

Well, what is her look. I know it changes, she changes with me over time. It’s like watching my desires in slow motion like a beautiful black wedding dress bride twirling in air. Slowly as what I’m really into changes and forms and takes shape she evolves into liking it as well. Much like the couples will arrive at a conclusion.

But is the form that way as well. I would say. Physically your way off if you think I’d know who would chose me. Not without looking at the DNA. But then again she’d have to have chosen me at a young age. Then to have chosen me early enough to know what she was getting into.

Then as the development continues she should have noted key changes in her DNA. Like many "punk rock brides" at this point she might decide to back out of the whole deal. I mean fuck man, I got a life," you know that sort of thing. But if she continue to think I was going to be her husband, all through, the You don’t know who I am, I can’t feel like I am, this ain’t going the way I had originally planned. She might at this time decide on a look. What does Gods wife look like. Reading material. There’s more reading material on you, my bride, than there is on Hitler Stalin, and Quebec, put together. I, "think" they refer to her as the Goddess.

There is even strange references to early, "punk rock brides" explaining why they couldn’t form so close to "the womb". I think one of the references is the three sisters at the cross roads.

Once the DNA is in motion, for trully yours should never form.

The look, is composed of what you think you should look like to be my bride, the form which is in outer, or what could be referred to as interstellar space. This form and your experience and experience at looking should help with the look if your helping to form this look. Oh yes by the way I thought I’d mention this, when you take on these looks or any looks like them, you should know that they are registered to to let’s say the planet or universe itself. I am not reasonable for any result of having or wearing the wrong look.

Should something regrettable occur you might want to search for the right look before changing. This is all to prevent anything awful occurring. Should you begin to look like stereo-typical over 65 year old looking person you will no longer be held responsible for looking the look you’ve been looking like.

Top avoid anything to tragic, please try to at least be trying to have a look that suits what you and I think you should look like. Should your look really look the opposite of all that then your in for something very tragic.

I’ve always thought of her as the best looking girl in any room. To the point of having trouble making friends. It’s common, these materials she owns. The design is older than this universe itself. There is a personality there you know. I’m not going to change that, who’s personalities the strongest we’ll have to see. Many religions and cultures talk about the Goddess, for hot she really is. I’ve discussed the flow and give and take and the universal time components of what it is to be together with her.

There is a personality to being my wife though. I know the plans been changed since I first got here. All the way back to the original 0063 truthfully. So the personality changes back there as well, becoming what I need it to become. Again and again, my faithful companion. Right by my side since I decided to do it. To be to exist. To not just be ,a being, floating in the void. To truly go on with my life to take shape.

How far back does my look go. Do I have anything other than a look. What happened to my DNA. How different an I look. I think my I become my look till the point where my look becomes the center of what I can return to. Like I don’t know maybe I’ll be shaped like a lizard/dragon someday in bed. And as long as I can come back. That’s cool. But what so I look like. I’m not even sure that image I have of the sun is true. It’s an old memory. But a look, a real punk rock look. That is interesting. My funniest "reading" memories are of creatures of shadows all able to kill me almost instantly. Not even thinking of it though. Wondering maybe why I was there, why I had come to visit their strange lands. I loved the shape of them though. Like if they made love to each other the shadows looked like they could rub up against each other, like we move skin to touch each other.

So do I have a look, or am I a look stealer. Actually the looks match the planet time of the universe we are in so technically, yeah I do have a look. Cloths, how to make real fabric, not shadow fabric part of my look, or should I bother to do that.

What do I and she sound like. That’s a good one too. Maybe we have different sounding voices for certain occasions. Like if we’re making fun of people who are stupid or stupid looking, do we have an original voice that we use to do so, one that makes it hard for them to notice.

Maybe making these voices and stuff is fun. They all are the looks, the sounds, the voices, the touches and most of all the miracles. Maybe I’m not asking for a girl that can be into anything or change into anything, maybe it’s about miracles touches, voices, sounds, looks, and manners. Each to their own degree.

Funny once again I got talking about her and away I went. How much of this will change. Will, my need to have a mohawk disappear. What is what, how much what is going to affect this look this watch this need to have her by my side. To those that got into all those things and decided along the way. Maybe your still a "punk rock bride" maybe you just aren’t "my punk rock bride". I’ve seen the group of you you know milling abut. Waiting for me to ask or thinking it’s your secret fantasy, no Idea that it was affecting your looks. I hope you had fun. I don’t think much of it was fake so you should be alright. I know I thought you where all beautiful, in your own way. I wonder though, was your dream really to fall off the wagon that far. Maybe you met some else. Maybe their look hasn’t come out yet.

I need to go back to my roots though, to find the special me. Here’s something few people know. I’ve never come onto a woman I had any intentions of going out with. The smoosh is a huge turn off for me. It’s like, I don’t know spitting on my grave and watching someone else urinate on it latter when they go home.

So you see as the world enters my total control. Fuck stop at rule, what a duffus. Then I’ll have to command more and more of it till… You’ll wonder did he spit on my toothbrush, the sinks clean.

I’m pondering what is the friendship factor on all this. In this new plan what whereing world. Is there a look, or sub-look catagorie for those that I hang out with. I’m not a big friend person. It comes from being low income, people who like you want to give you stuff, but they can’t communicate well because of lousy upbringings so they mime a dollar here or there. It’s quite disgusting.

No that’s the truth, I’m not a big friend person. Their pointless. I love hanging out. Same people at the mall, or what ever you call a mall, but hanging out, sipping tea, sure that sort of thing. Friends, though, I don’t know I think I’ll be friends with the wife for about five years or so first. Their just icky.

Of course financially people from low incomes have to work together.

I think that is why me and the woman want each other so much, we really don’t get the friend thing. And when you don’t get it, the only fun around people is hanging around. The only thing necessary about making friends with your loved one is the physical contact. And there your so close that you’d wan the person to die, if you broke up.

Friends sell out. It’s a fact of life. Their just not close enough for me, to give a fuck about them. If they don’t have cool long turn buddies. They are screwed. That’s not just me, people sell out ever day. It’s how we have albums and stuff.

Of course with inflation. There no reason to believe that albums or any of that will continue to be produced that way.

I’ve been God, now I’m going to be what God is.

You Know It’s Funny.

What happens when you die. Well, what happens when you die is simple. Your dead. No ray of light, calling for the end, no, finish line. The end is the end.

That would be in one of those worlds if the world could be like I wanted it to be. Instead though, you can have a lot of options or you can go to hell. Now the lot of options, they include, being born again. Me deciding what the right place and time for you are. Having your hair done in a salon and then, "getting back in there." Meeting your maker. Me placing you in a time tunnel where you keep walking forward, till you finally get to go to hell.

This ones not done too much anymore, but having your body exhumed. It means that basically you start with a first cut and then your body is harmed over and over again till your finally ready to go back to living where I rule and command etc. Over where you thought you lived. This is only done for people I would care to hear from again. Like I said it’s rare.

Oh yeah and then there is the cock sucker, now she’s my wife and I hate to talk about her this way, but she dies, almost every night, hopefully. This corpse is then carried up to the stars where we make love for hours. It’s quite silly though.

I Must Speak Economically, I Think People Can Here My Writing

Well, the economy could use a mention. I’ve gone on about everything else. A, I should mention that I love money. Love it, coolest concept ever. Do I like the way things are no. I thought AIDS would be enough. The city I’m in, is about 90% AIDS most days.

Anyway, I thought I’d give a shout out to those that own shops and stuff, you know cool people. Here’s your shout, prices have gone way down, what’s the hold up.

Anyway, like I said before, we got your AIDS. We got your NAS, we Got your ATM and we got your bubonica.

So I would like to direct these comments to those that might like to restart such a stupid economy where… All the prices go up and new things are over priced to the point of madness. There really is no way to express my hatetredd for what has been tried to be done to my money. But I’ll try.

I’ve been trying this whole time. I mean like, I’m not going to try harder than I do with anything else. If I like what your doing with your money. Good things will happen to you. If I don’t you die.

It’s the same with all those things. Enchantment, death, bonds of marriage, and Money. If you fuck with them you will die. Does that mean free loonies and twoonies are bad. No way. Make love to it. Maybe your enchantments got all caught up in your money and you thought death missed while you was falling in love.

What is the what of the economy. The what of the economy is the same as the who, and everything else everybody tried to do. For one those that would have tried to kill us during anarchy end up owning a few shops in the end. It’s really quite funny. You’ve heard of having the fight knocked out of you. These guys take it to the extreme. I mean even tiny guys are walking by and giggling. But the cool girls go, "fuck don’t wake him up. Sit the fuck down over there."

So basically money is not being treated like money. It’s a shame really money rocks. I love fucken money. But if you try and make it something that I don’t rule. It will do things to your mind. You’ll fuck your kids, that dog over there will start to look good. Till finally I rule you. Now I rule you anyway. But I mean crazy motron. I fucken rule you. Do you think that will make you take the prices down, fuck no.

Quite the opposite. You’ll continue to put prices up. You start and finishs doing things that are different form country to country. Non good. All evil.

Anyway that is it for now, anything good to say to anybody about money. Get rid of the middle man. Fuck the pocket and the time card and all that shit. Do what you will with it, what my spirit tells you. Remember it connects with all the other things though. The whole fucken universe.

Remember then that that means I rule it. Is it the only thing ruling you. Well if it is you’ve got something. Either class, or AIDS, either grace, or style. Oh did I mention that. Money is very masculine. Money is I rule you right to it’s very fiber. It contains the law of this universe was not created for you but for me. It’s true it’s raw.

From it’s very nature money was formed to give the economic universe a grip on what I am. What I stand for, and what life is all about. You see an old person who just won a bunch of money and they seem happy. They’re embarrassed.

But it’s there winding in your very skull what makes money different. I’m going to tell you what I know for sure. Money can be from the beginning or from the ending. In the beginning. I don’t give a fuck couldn’t give a fuck. Everybody but me could die and I wouldn’t give a shit. The whole universe is just something to try out to see you know, if it would work. Something not made of self. Not me, made from a part of me, but not me.

I forged that fucker. That thing is set up so that assholes make themselves look like assholes. Right fucken clear. And non-assholes well they do as good as times dictate they do.

Maybe you think that’s broke, maybe you think so new technology has come along to end all that.

How rich are you when your lying in a hospital with AIDS. Dying, then it’s your son’s fault. He has to deal with it.

Forged. And then, at the end, how far away is that you might ask. Heh heh. It sits rewarding everybody that’s been good, everybody that ever did anything to help me, and of course burns in hell anybody who tried to fuck with my marriage, my life. The people at an ends life etc.

If your into the flow like I was talking about earlier, you might ask yourself, how does this affect that. If you have to ask that your probably someone who is not going to be around till the end. A mean you take getting paid for something. You take the money you get and you by food. Everything is affected by money, and as that flow is a very big part of money. Mine and her flow all wrapped in their together.

So economically speaking a person could make a cleaning right now or they could end up I don’t know. Milking a camel in Africa to get hash they could buy from a stereo-typical poor kid in Nouveu Brunswick.

So why don’t I worry. I don’t worry because just like God had a plan for me now he has a what.

My Music And Why It Sucks

I cracked a joke about my music being from an alien ship once and everyone believed me. I have to laugh, most of my music is from to coin a better phrase angels.

They don’t really exist. Once in a while I’ll open up a moon or a planet that doesn’t really stay there and then I’ll get an album here on earth.

Now a days I just sit there or walk there and the stuff is there. Mostly I don’t bother lately. People don’t take it seriously. It’s gothic. Don’t fuck with it. You know that sort of thing. Then they write extra rules especially for me.

I’m starting to get side tracked in this book and I’ll tell you why. Naw this is about what. What am I. A friend hater. No, but have I had people who in some distant realm I considered my friends sure. And they sold out. And do you know why because they refused to move to the right city. I think they are stupid.

Maybe when I’m all done with this universe and it’s all over I’ll make a list of my friends. I bet it will be a long list. More than I can individually mention.

What, I’m trying to say is I didn’t wan them, they came along. I think that’s cool. I’m just not as freak out over as when I was young. I mean those guys from way long ago where cool too. So what is the difference. I’m alive. Your living. I’m hanging with an entirely different species. Much less than the animal kingdom. It’s true. Outside the zoo, animals are the coolest nicest people you want meet.

Economically I know I have a very/sort-a rich person hanging around me lately. I wish she’d go away. I’m sick of it. It’s like watching something tell you over and over again they are the boss. I’m God fuck-nut. If there are enough couples out there that fight over who’s the boss. You would think someone who wants the guy to be the boss would wake up. I mean fuck dude. We’re not asking everone wo become super knowledge religio-spiritual persons here. But I am asking for a little sense when it comes to who, you are compared to who I am.

No I wouldn’t. You are too out dated. Living in some sort-a past where, the "poe" want to hang out with the rich…."if only they’d let us.

Fuck, we all know your out for something. Like cartoon virgins strutting around with there screwed in the middle loonies hanging from their waste. Dankling from their crotch.

You decided to get rich while Christ almost died. "We, decided to get lives get our shit together."

The first thing I’d want from anyone with an over $30,000 a year income these days would be an AIDS test.

Truthfully you just too different, what you hold dearly. Sometimes for the Universe I think.

What am I.

What Is My Look

My look, is that of an almost punk, an almost successful business man, a Poor punk who couldn’t afford the patches. A guy who spends all his time worry about himself. I’m a hair freak. I actually have very classic features. I look sort of european form a distance, female. I can look different and truthfully I came as fire.

I can change what I am, but I’m not really into this changing to the point of harming myself. I mean it sucks I finally get a look and it’s burnt right the fuck out of me.

Well here is the secret truth. I get better, all the time. I get better looking. I get stronger. I get mightier. I get quicker with the miracles.

I guess my what is all about becoming God the whole freaking thing, right here on earth.

What To Do Till When.

What to due till when. Well I’m hoping everything will be okay. Right now there are so many changes out there that I’m unsure as to any political statement I’d make. Finacially it means that once again people are trying to build some sort of God machine that will let them know what they each think of each other after they get together to make decisions about how I should live my life.

Evil there is no other way to describe this than evil. I’ve never seen it done so stupidly or callously. But there it is almost every countries dream of a world ruled by God with cool people on the top taken away by stereo-typical images of the top being about money and how much of it you have.

Absolutely stupid. So I guess I see who goes for it over the next few years.

What do I do till when, I’ll tell you. Hopefully live the most fucked up magical miracle mystifying, timely experience, fun time of my life. Same as I’ve done my whole life.

That’s what I’m hoping to do. I’m just not freaking myself out anymore. I used to you know have a fun time all the time. But now everything is about death, and about p[rotecting myself. Not to mention the Nerds who keep going on about anything different like it’s the their personal earth.

Fuck what I’d like to see during the what is the end of science. The end of anybody but me making decisions about human life.

I’d like to see myself improve in my public performance, truly though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this alone.

I just fucken hate them. I mean you come out and your hanging around and then I’m being nagged like a fucken fourteen year old.

I’m as old as a person could be. There is no older. Superman old. Nagged.

Anyway. I’d also lke to see any mistakes in this book taken away. Any of that make it up to you make your life worst now crap. Any of that I’m the boss your not crap. Any of the assholes who want to hold me back.

Miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

Miracle, super right, etc.

I hope to blow my fucken socks off. I really do. I mean it. If the Late eighties had cool miracles. Then I hope this city is going to have some really cool shit. The thing it could work on, In the future, is timing.

Let’s say fuck all those other countries and places till we get Saint John the way we like it. If I’m powerful enough then I’m gong to do it because truthfully. This city is too money driven for anybody to give a fuck about it. If you think I’m going to steal or involve myself in some sort of "Gay pride" movie about how I should be or how it should have been. You are stuck so far in the past, I don’t know if this city can put up with you.

Get the fuck out. Leave, be gone. Never come back. See you never. Bye bye, the finger. Get the fuck out of here you mind reading peace of crap. Bye bye.

On a lighter note. I’m predicting weather of storms, and weather that is so funnily fair, no one should ever have to worry about me again.

What Am I.

Well, I don’t know what I’m missing. I feel like I have way more time on my hands than I used to. I feel like half the world hates me and the other half would kill for me. I feel like a sinner a saint. I feel like Brian Robichaud. And being Brian robichaud ain’t good enough. I feel like I’m going to do something so important at the end of this who, Which I’ve been through, what, when, where, continuum that will make up for my life. I feel that life before then is going to be off and on so artificial that I might fall in love with it. I think I know a world where real life is better.

I know the past few days I’ve felt like it would end. Like I’m doing great and someone is going to rip that away from me.

I feel like there is a part of me that has planned such stupid things for me that it had no idea what it would be like to be human. I hate it. I wouldn’t be human again, not ever. I love who I am. I enjoy it.

I’ve heard a lot of people got healed during the wring of this book and I hope that is true. I just hope people don’t think that that healing is going to stop because I start writing. I’m going to live in this book soon. A little at a time, till I’m all the way there. Why not join me. We’re all gong to be in it. From your self, your loved one and the shit you flush down the toilet. Why not embrace it. Why not make your life a part of my plan for you.

I came across this guy in Montreal. I’d been walking and no one had offered to buy me a sandwich or a slice of pizza nothing. I thought every body wanted me to just die. I can’t do that.

I went up to this guy and I said, "hey guess what I’m offering?" He paused and looked at me with real interest. "Eternal life." I said.

He looked at me real serous like he wanted to hear more, like he was interested for the first time in what I was saying.

You know what I saw. Just a rich fuck with too much time on his hands and not a clue what life in the real world was like.

What an ass, stalking a poor man or God, just so he could feel all bad about himself and do another line up in some bathroom stall.

Why don’t they shoot guys like that I thought. Actually, my mind wen to work on what I would do to him, and anyone like him. The associate stupid with not bowing down to them. All dopers do. It’s there thing. They’re evil. Stupid and evil.

I hope is this world is finished back in the end. That we look back and can say. These are the people that tried. Those are the people who stood in their own way.

I love myself too much to write down the rest of what I think on the subject. You’ll have to get that from the air, the extra’s.

Speaking Yeeyoh

Speaking Yeeyoh. I’m here thinking about what life must have been like before I existed again. I was talking God and I thought that was great and everything and it occuered to me to speak yeeyoh. Why ot speak yeeyoh over and over again. That would be fun. Do you think people would understand me after a while. I think it would. I could just speak my language over and over again. Till I no longer was speakng anything that I would care for anybody to understand.

Then it occurred to me. While thinking about what it would be like to go around and talk this language no one understood. I think It would make for a fun day. They could try and hear what I’m trying to say over and over again. That way, I might be able to get somethings done, without everybody laughing at the same time to. I wonder how they get things done.

On a personal note. I hope charonazone, let’s my wife get though, amoungst other people. I think it’s sad that we can’t do the eyeball thing sooner. I think I thrust my self at home, but I’d like to be able to go to sleep knowing she’s okay. And that is not easy to do, in this city.

I once made a joke about I wondered if charonazone was my wife. We shared some laughs back in the day. Now charonazone seems more like a recurring character. Once we transition the "super wank" chicks in the time of the marriage together should be okay. I wonder if the charonazones of the outside world feel they are not recurring. Because in Todays world they must surely be out there.

I hear that things are going well. I wonder if charonezone is trying to include. Me I’d stay here for ever. Make my wife the only person aloud and create wanker chicks for me. I’m sure there are enough men for her to see.

There’re could be some protection from her screwing around after say 1993. I know she’s hard to see because of the fact that we are little hamsters in cages but his will all change eventually.

I wonder does anybody do any good up here. Is my wife just a collection of thoughts and ideas I had before creation?

I think that is possible, but in order for there to be any consistency. The person would have to have a history. Either a very Good one. That I might enjoy, in the long term, to listen to. Or one made up, like that Dawn Chick in that buffy show.

And that is that we go back to speaking our Yeeyohic language. The kind we like to say with little reminders and ear pieces that don’t fuck with the sound today.

The land of real music.

There seems to be some deep problems with some of the things I’ve said so far. Like about friends and everything. If you know anything about the world you know that I don’t make friends very lightly. You might think I do when I run into someone I haven’t seen for a long time. Funny isn’t it.

Here’s the deal. We’re about fifteen years away from the end of what I’ve set out to do. To make man.

I know this sounds weird. But the world is different. Look out your window. Breathe the air. I’m sure if I could have done that before, I sure the fuck would have. Peoples problems becoming simpler. I’m pretty sure I’m doing that too.

You want a good tip to being my friend, to making it to the end. Stop trying to play God. It’s stupid and your going to die before the end of this for doing that.

As I make friends rarely, and truthfully my card is pretty much fun. You should know I’m a spy. People have me down on their most wanted list, as Brian, but not as God. I want that changed, and I need it changed yesterday.

I don’t make friends easily. It’s just a thing. I don’t feel I’m desperate. Truthfully I’d say, that I have just about all the friends I need. All I need really though is to meet with this woman of my dreams. Part of why I say wait… is like I say about forty countries think it’s fun and funny to crucify God’s body in order to make him give up on helping humans.

It’s not that I want them to make it stop. I’m going to make them stop. They don’t control me and they don’t rule you. You should never let them get the best of you. I do rule. Maybe you’ll see me down on my luck, Or taken aback from a situation. Remember while your waying what I know or who I am as a person. I’m an Agent of God more than anything else. It’s getting very close to the end of this thing I call a life. People shouldn’t be testing my patients. Asking for miracles like there some form of performance art. Demanding I stop demanding I go. Not asking put forcing me to stay.

I’m God not something to be pushed around. Fancy push or otherwise. Don’t ask idiots for advice.

The only change you can sense on me is her. When next I’m with a woman, you better not be judging her as well. Either. Because there are many religions based on this woman and me.

I wont hesatate. You think ‘d let a single one of my friends tell me weather I’m with the right chick or not. You’ve got to be fucken kidding. My God man, my friends so far couldn’t tell they if they were with the right person… If they were form planet zortoast.

The guy at the mall, the man at the counter. Oh my fuck grow up. The function of humanity is to please me. You might not see it. When your fucking your wife. When it’s all going down. Right there in the corner.

Like little girly men with little girly pride.

No talking, How many people still alive today hate the rich. I mean it, how many people here today hate the rich because of what they’ve done to God. How many people here hate the rich because of what they’ve done to a loved one. How many people here hate the rich for what they’ve done to them. How many people just want them dead.

How many people know that it’s their governments that let it happen. How many people care about me more than their Governments. How many people don’t want that to happen to God anymore. How many people don’t want that to happen to loved ones anymore. How many people don’t want to happen to themselves anymore.

For the sake of sanity, Shut the fuck up rich people shut the fuck up. I’m going to need some time. I’m gong to take a minute. I’m going to be "Far from okay." I’m going to make it my personal revenge to have my "fun" with the new rich, the rich, the soon to be rich, and the dead to be rich.

You’ve been living in a dream world, "Neo,"

I Thin everybody in the world knows I’ve turned you down. Maybe I should turn that up a little louder. I fucken hate the Rich. I think they are knobs. And the people growing up today who wan to be rich are worst because they already know what they are like.

On lighter note, if you like great music and enjoy hanging out without giving a fuck about how it is all done. Then please feel free to hang.

Who?___________

What?__________

When?__________

Where?__________

Endlessly. These are the things that I am going to change. Now considering I’ve been telling the man to "fuck off" since about the age of "8". I’ll have to consider it a given that they "know" I won’t "sign up and give up on my Islamic brothers"

Oh Yeah.

My wife’s name is Why. You know like in "Why the fuck" I bothered creating this universe to begin with. That sort of thing.

What and Why hanging out together. I guess I did do something’s out of order.

Another thing that should happen early on in this book is, all the Gangs should get off my turf. Fancy Gangs included.

What up with day?

This might be my last chance, to come up with anything I’m real grumpy about. I’ll be eating different food soon. So here it goes. I hate….etc. I hate….. etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

Hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

I like never seeing or finding out about anything I hate. Leave that in the past.

Here’s my favorite way to live. What I do to get there is my business. Life should require only three miracles. Light, sound and size.

After that I should be using my miracles just for my amazing amusement and fuck those that would have it different.

Well as I exit this time in my life. You should know that I’m okay. Are you okay. You don’t look so good. What’s the matter. Do you want to rest. Is there anything I could do to help you. Are you in need of a bigger power than I could provide.

Please I’m so sorry, thre just isn’t room for you. If only I could change that. No I’m so sorry. You see we are too much alike and one of us must go. That one is you.

Well have to measure it to the micro second to see which one of you went first. If only I could find a way to tell. Maybe you found God along the way.

‘I’m real sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m real sorry I wasn’t everything you were hoping I would be.

See you latter. Loved the part about you being on a mission for God. How’d that go for you. Sorry it didn’t work out. You’ve increased the amount of your annoyance in disproportion to your value as a citizen.

Too bad all functions have changed. There really is no need for you to try any longer. Your value as a citizen has been demenoused.

Oh yeah we got to give a shout out to my hate of there recently not rich. I think I hate them more than the ones holding onto their money for them. There so old so bold. They are down right cold. I care about them. How when are they gone. Who’s going to get that day because of them. I Love the way they die. Right out in the open like that. Oh how they cling. Like God gave them a secret mission. They lost their mind. Maybe they thought their mockasins were mine. Maybe I should kill them right quick. Right slow. I’m sure I’ll do it a lot of ways.

When your helping me with all that. Be sure not to ZZZZZZZZWWWWWWWQQQQQQQQQLLLLLLLKKKKKKAAEEIIOOUU.

The man keeps telling me about "y" and "w". Must have been a myth of, "the man."

It’s Like an Insult "She’s" not more horney!

Well it's that time of year again.

What am I? That is interesting and I'm sure I'll get around to that in a latter chapter. But for now who are you? Well let me see there are all those people who disappeared ever so recently and let me say that all but one of them never really existed. I mean can a man.. or woman.

Nah let's just get started. I'm God I'm God I'm God.

I love it. Being God is a lot of things. It's like well it's like when you piss on that tree. Well your pissing on a peace of me. When you take a shit well. your flushing and sitting on a piece of me.

Well hey I take the shape and the form of my inventions very importantly.

The way I see it what went on was a bunch of people tried to stop other people from doing things. So I created a bunch of temporary people to do those things.

Now they were the who. They had lives and people tried to stop them and they went on and in the end I got what I wanted.

Funny isn't it.

Anyway So now that I'm what you guys are all in there being the who. Some of you are thinking hey I bet there are going to be temporary people this time. Maybe even thinking you can take advantage of them. Maybe turn a prophet.

Well yes it was brilliant. the alphabet.

Now this what he's weird chat you don't want to fuck with him. I mean he might turn you into a toad.

Really might happen.

But what am I? Who am I in love with?

I don't mean just your but fuckin ordinary wanting to cum on their face sort of casual sexual thing.

I mean who do I want to be with for the rest of my life. For all time.

Me of course. Like I was saying that tree your shitting on etc.

Like I was saying you are all inside of me. the whole thing. She is too. Like I'm going to be fucking a woman who is going to be inside of me while I'm with her.

I can guess why you might think the heart but no.

Inside of me it's all mixed like a big, I don't know it's like when a lot of people die and you see me on the bus and well there souls are restructuralizing inside of me. Just like you do when you turn a doorknob.

It's funny really everything that goes on on this planet heheh affects me. lets' say like in astrology there are all these real planets that represent the universe. Then there are these other planets that don't really exist as planets but they are planets because they are just as effective.

now you take those planets. The ones that exist and don't existed in astrology add the earth and you have what is inside of me.

The whole thing.

I'm about 5' 6" tall. My weight, how embarrassing has almost reached 300 and at the smallest adult size was about 160.

I like it around 180 pounds firm.

Oh yeah why do I love my self. Because the good people heaven and the bad people go to hell.

How far away is heaven?

Get it?

Remember I had that other book. The plan which when I was in heaven I would have a book that answer. who?___________

What?___________ When?__________ Where?_____________

and it was about the people in heaven. Like their cool stories and stuff.

Well what am I. Heaven is on earth last time I checked affected by all those things those other planets. Those inventions I make. Those thoughts I have. The feelings I express.

Those Thoughts

Now the stories I read in my Book. They have to all fit together. Like I said, "People are all having stories and they don't harm anybody else’s stories. Now when people do hurt the stories of others they hurt me. It's almost like everything is going good with your digestion, you get constipated and then finally you take a shit and the and I feel better.

It's like that when someone is going to hell. I'm like constipated and I have to have a crap. When I have my crap I feel better. And the weird part is... you do too.

Like you had this string and a cat was trying to eat it. And then the cat is gone away somewhere and your string magically repairs itself and the world is alright and your alright and you know she's alright because you didn't go to hell trying to find her.

What's my story like you might ask. Well I like most of you have had people a lot of people trying to take my story away. It's like they hate me. Hate me for sending them to hell.

They know it deep down inside they know it and the struggle and threatened to hurt and kill those that I love. But I wouldn't let them win. I would not I could not.

"I'm God," I say. God can't let no one stop his place in the plan.

Of course it sucks for those who have to deal those things that happened to the who .

I was thinking though. If this really is heaven shouldn't magical things occur.

I mean like dude I'm what hear. There is no way what is like who. I mean what can't be like who. If what was like who. What would cease to be what and become who.

You'll have to excuse my math.

Well shit it's all inside me. I mean like everything. Now for sure I don't get all constipated every time I have to deal with a shit head. But it happens sometimes it does.

I don't know what to make of that last sentence. Bar fight?

I think a picture would be nice.

Yes it is Chip break time.

Chip break time. All must cease. I want to eat my bag of chips and watch TV but I can't afford TV. I can't. So I'll sit and I'll watch the, well shit I'll probably leave the computer on and watch a movie. Or like a movie on something. Or half a movie and then come back.

Anyway there I was staring at my wallpaper when it occurred to me. What is this Book about for those "people" out there who follow their lives.

Well it sure ain't shaped like a cross.

But truth fully it's about the people "who attempt to get in my way to the where" Being fucked up by themselves not us while making asses of themselves and doing all the dirty work.

That's just what what is.

I don't know why what is what.

But what is definitely that.

Oh yeah what isn't going to be like what did they keep calling me "who?" "who?" "who?" over and over again. I've heard of some stupid people in my day, but to not know who.

I mean God man how could a person not know who God is?

In the what though they'll know what!!! Like where you good or bad today. That's what!

Did you have a good time at the mall today? That's what!

Did I forget to mention something that you thought was important?

That's what!

What will happen during what. Get real. Did you not understand the part about the pathetic people who did not understand who I was. It's very sad really. They are all inside of me. Being churned up to insert in hell.

I feel bad if you've had a loved one who died. I really do. But this is not the place where I'll talk about such things. I will though. It will probably be latter in this book.

What to invest in. Invest in everything getting cheaper. That's what!!!

Invest in prices going down or you'll die. That's what! Invest in us paying less for everything or you'll die. That's what! Invest in the lower cost of living. That's what!

On a lighter note.

I'm predicting rain, rain and more rain.

It's almost like in some countries it's like scorching hot and in other countries it's like raining all the time.

Of course with today’s climate you can't go by the weather. As I was saying in astrology. There are planets that are ruled that rule. Planets that don't exist that are ruled that rule. There is earth that ruled I stopped from ruling still ruled and now am switching ruling back into being as influential as the rest of the planets.

Like that astrology equation I mentioned earlier.

Really I didn't say anything different I just said the same thing.

Life what up with dat!?

AhhhH weather what is it that makes you so different when it's romantic. Why do some-days with the right woman you want to break yourself apart and spread yourself upon the air the ground everything around and embrace her with it.

And other days it just sucks rocks !!!

I must make another picture....

Well before we get to far I'd like to give a few shout outs. To Rap music. You haven't made it anywhere. If you can't afford to not have the shit played on the tele. Then really your taking a very long time. Punk Alternative Hard Core Metal Death Rock and of course Rock and Roll all seems to be able to hold there own in most Countries. Okay Death Metal is on a bit of a break. Aside form that. If Rap is that old what could it be.

Sure the hell wasn't the colour of our skin.

Another shout out to all those people out there trying and hoping to be my friend. I see it as almost the opposite as the Girl thing. With Girls I have to remind myself that I'm pretty Good looking And they might be after me for my looks. With friends you have to remind yourself that they might want to be your friend to get out of something. and those are split into two categories. Those you will probably end up helping and those that it's hard not to laugh at or disintegrate of the face of the earth for looking at me.

Then there are those that might want to be your friends, but they leave that mostly in your hands. Which they probably should. Oh yes sub-categories of those that want to be your friends and want help. Would they be my friends after the help. That is the question.

Friends with God. That's it though. Non of this Brian your a different guy. Your like the battery all that stuff. Just God hanging out. Of course I do like to help.

Help help help. I must have turned the help channel on. If the help channel was the bat signal you'd swear that most days the whole sky could be made black by all the little bats formed by it. "Not so much Fake help, these days," thank God.

To Those friends that gave me all the extra time to help others. Thanks. I appreciate your appreciating of the situation and your thoughts on the subject. Should you choose to speak without thinking. I'll appreciate that to.

I think I'm thinking of another time and place when I think about what I considered friends. As our walkman hug us and the pictures in front of us dance. Maybe you'll reflect on this world that you probably hate because of the people who do crappy things. Then think about toasters and T.V.S. or pick up a rock and throw it. Then you'll know my earlier tries at life and how auto mated they were. Without independent thought the world is a perfect place. There is another place were people don't do shitty things to each other. Earth. I know it seems crazy but. On earth people really don't have independent thought either. It only seems that way.

For instance, when your child runs at you to be picked up and hugged or carried over to someplace new. He's and or she is only doing this to please you. Sure you could slang that up to, make you happy, freak you out, have some fun. It's totally artificial.

Same with you saying hello. Take a person saying hi to me. As a what. This who will walk around a corner and say hi. They assume they are saying hi, to their concept of God. They are saying hi to me. I might be thinking about laundry. A volcano forming, in this time or another time. I might be trying to find a secret local to pick my nose. I like tissue, but I'm old enough to use them.

Now this person says hi because they want a reaction like a hello or a hi, to (please) their image of God. The person who is always prepared to listen. The person who always understands.

I try not to give a person like that a handshake or the finger. It's not always easy.

For their conception of what God is to be so different than reality. They Don't acknowledge my existence amongst their friends. If at least three people hang out together. All acknowledging the existence of God. They will get a much closer concept of what God is.

These people, Rarely catch me at inopportune times. Hardly ever throw me off balance. Truthfully their biggest problem seems to be thinking I want to be everybody’s close personal friend.

Nope sorry. I guess if I have God friends. God friends that in person I sort-a know cause I can keep my mind out-there. And then of course what we call close personal friends. One of course will be the wife.

Ahh that is funny what does a wife do to prove their love to a husband. Now your talking artificial thinking. There's the fact you want to physically stay together. There's the fact you want his love and want it bad. There's the kisses your hoping for there's the thoughts of what happens if this breaks down. The fears of starting over and it never being the same because it's with a different person.

All this going on. If you've ever been with one and they're spinning their head trying to figure which please to praise. Then you know what I'm talking about.

AI I love myself. It's the best fucken life ever. Every body pushing others buttons all making it better and better for each other. Including me. Until the sky is about to break open from the wwww?_________ and then is dissipated into a thousand branches and branches branches all pleasing me endlessly. Yeah I know I'm God. I know it so strongly that I had to laugh at the last few attempts to make me forget.

Silly really silly deedless doing their little deadly thing.

The Joke!

God walks into a bar. Everybody is talking about him. He walks over to the most attractive chick. Enough about me, let's talk about you.

Ha ha ha. Get it. God gets sick of people talking about him. Have you read a bible. Do you know what is going on. Do you know what time it is? ha ha ha I must be kidding.

Anyway in Montreal I could walk by any bar go to any coffee place, Dance my night away at any bar. Drunk right out of my skull if I wanted to. Never not once did anybody stop talking about me. Like music to my ears. Like the beautiful stars in the sky the mist in the air. The trees. The mountain. You name it.

Oh and of course most of the people there aren't single after about sixteen years and that's even back then.

Ahhh the place rocks. Lately it seems like they think they have such places. Now a days it's now bars. I can tell. Walk into a place and everybody shuts up. It's a now bar. They want your now. Your humming to yourself something to remind you of what you wanted to do with your day and someone will open up a now bar where you can go in and forget your life.

In real life there are other sorts of bars and places where things are always happening. I can walk into one of those places and something things are going on. It could be something from France in 1374. You don't know but it's fun. Now a days it all looks like some sort-a proof that living through the year before was stupid or something.

Ohhh and most of the buildings around here are built to take away from the beauty of my earth not to enhance it. To the point of emphasizing the crappy-iest things in Montreal actually.

Anyway since most of us living to day aren't aging and the who's that want to be what are going to be killing themselves amongst themselves. I just thought it would be fun to write a little about what. What am I what is God.

Yes in the who. I supposed we discovered that God can affect the weather. Make things disappear. Even bring a few things back and stuff like that. Yes a suppose I can make things move. It's sort of funny.

If that is all you discovered in the who then you are either a minor bunny, or really don't have any concept of God. It's really sad actually,,,

More about the city though. I know pathetically single people over the age of thirty. Cars that rust. Ice that makes you fall. Trees that make it look like they are going to make it all though summer and then the branch breaks off on it's own falling to the ground. On the brittle frozen paving. A paving so solid it makes ice look like clear paving and

paving look like black ice.

Ahh I can't stand it. The sun. The trees. The lake on the hill. That's about the same height as the Montreal mountain. It's a beautiful beautiful world.

Ohhhh excuse me I'm arguing with myself. But ass far as I can see the only side of this planet that has to change it's ways compared to the inside is the temperature. Aside from that I believe my concept of inside and outside will be pretty much enforced by five years into the age of Pisces. I'd say around 2006.

Perma-locking.

Basically I guess if you read and your trying to figure out that top sentence it means that the age of Pisces. The age of Pisces will have the inside and outside as close as they really ever are. Until the next age of Pisces. This age of Pisces should last until about half-way though that next one.

So there are the signs in a nut shell. You should see, when this earth fully kicks into the fact that the comfort level ain’t all about temperature. It's becoming just another place. Like all the planets that are real and are not real. While they feel they're up there ruling. The earth down here rules as well. Of course they all "rule" together. Basically I rule the earth all the other planets everything on them and the stars around. The whole fucking thing. The stars are a different form of time. Like the measurement of days months years. So yeah if I can just get the earth over the hump and land it like, "It is One of the other planets." Equal. Not Better or worst. Or stronger or weaker. Just different. Ohhhh guess fuck is she fun to rule. If you could picture driving your favorite favorite fucking, "no one gets their favorite fucking car" fucking poster on a wall automobile. That's what it's like ruling the fucking things. Your cruising in a no-speed limit 100 M.P.H. with no one else on the high way and it, "this is were I separate from you" goes on forever.

All I have to do now is pick up a hitch hiker on the side of the road. Without slowing down. Say high honey, "Have her convince me that she is my one." Keep, my speed constant and maybe someday do the same thing to put a kid in the back. "I hope it's a boy!"

Of course on a certain planet I'm actually living this life. making sure everything is okay.

Ohhh yeah if your really into astrology then you might want to know that the earth is wear the AI is the most kicking.

You know it's funny I was thinking to myself. Weather or not the image portrayed in the bible is a stereo type. About a God who really wants people to understand him. It depends what you mean by stereotype. Most people, back in the day, thought the expression meant something that the sound of doesn't change. The definition for almost any word is a craze. The only exception to this is the word good.

Now if I was to tell you that a person might think the stereo type for God is that I react the same way when different people do the same thing. I'd have to say only when good is done.

So telling a person that has done some Seriously wrong that they can do a few good things and everything will be okay, or the same as a person who has tried to do good things (and succeeded a few times) all their life is stupid.

So if you buy a kid a bag of chips don't expect your whole life to change over night. There are people who have been paying for cheaper chips they're whole life. They're life was probably a little better because of it. Then they decided to raise they're prices just to see if like you know they were connected. The slightly better life and the price of chips. They died. It's a fact of life. Making my life any worst will kill you. Heaven.

Makes Me Think Of The Wife.

I wonder if my image of head spinning true love making kick the wall before I'd leave him is true. Then I should have nothing to worry about , I mean that's cool. It's Going to get more and more powerful though. Those moments of putting up with you because your an attempted-friender or something is going out the window.

They're is no buying your way out of it. We are going to heaven. We're pissing me off is ridiculous and people getting away with stuff is the most impossible stupidest thing that a person has ever thought of. What the planet is getting used to if I might refer back to my previous chapter. Is my ruling it. You see to this planet I eighties expression, "rule". So strongly that I can't seem to get it to perm-know that I rule.

If it was to flip that expression from the "rule" in the eighties to the rule. Then I might come up with the ability to have a wife and or kids. Because believe it or not computer. She's going to "rule!" One way or another and if the planet isn't through with me "ruling!!!" by then. I really don't know what to do with it.

Of course if it's just the planet earth that is stuck with a "rule" complex. Then the other planets should be enough in a universe plus planet "rule" continuum. Of course should the planet release that to most everything I do "rule" then it should see this newness as rule-x-rule. Or super rule. or he's ruling. What a ruler. ,"I've never had better." Super rule. The ruling one. The guy up there who rules. "I've never ruled like that guy." What a ruler. I want to get a ruler to see if I can measure the amount of rule being used to rule me while we're ruling in the rule.

Rocken rollen rule. Ivan rule. Batov-in Rule. Mostartian Rule. There is so much going one and being rued and ruling and the temperature is going to transition into a new rule where it's more obvious you rule, of course by then it will be "ruling" to those that are now "ruled"

Wanking To Jesus

First off let me tell you. I love it. I flip-freaken flipen-fucken love it. Unless your ugly. When a person is ugly I think it is the most insulting thing in the world for a person to wank off to me. I don't know why they would. I'm sure not going to wank back. I mean fuck. Bad-hair day etc. Yeah sure. But fucken ugly. I said beauty is a gift. Women think a lot of handsome men and masculine men and rugged men.

So looks must be important. The super wank. The up-tight couple wank. The, "I don't know what your talking about?" wank. Super-terrific-happy hour super-wank.

It's the wankiest. It's almost like sex. If that twenty minutes. Heh heh heh could be stretched out to encapsulate how much I love romance, you would start to get me. Rock and Roll. Don't get me started on Rock and rollen.

I just might make some rock and roll myself some day that's what I might do.

I'll get a typewriter and I'll start writing and I'll never stop. I'll be the super wanker. The mano-wank. "The God who wanked his life away?" Get with it.

The question remains what do the Girls think of the super wank. They might do it just because their friends think they are cool when they do. I mean that might be the only reason. They might... no they like me. They really like me. Humma they seem to like me when I'm naked like I'm fucking them but not so much when I'm out there with my clothes on.

I think it's my voice. They must think I rule the earth with my voice and when I use it to talk to them I'm.. Well I just don't know. They are single at least some. Some are probably secretly going out. I did mention that my friends in relationships should probably, not hang out with me in person too much. I might see the look in their eyes when they stare at me like, what could you offer me that this man can't.

In a good mood this is okay. When I really laughing at something though or when I'm really angry at something that is going on in the world. Might be past present or, future. Hint Hint. I might look at here and go I can I can offer you blah blah bah. Into their mind it sinks and then they stare at me after they've left their man and I laugh. laugh my fucken head off. Like I would fall in love with someone who would leave someone that made them feel that way. Being in love. There are no limits. Being with a person who has left their one true love. Waste of time. Why bother. Of course along comes the right person someday and you don't care who they've been with.

What really I never understand is the people who think they are with the right person. Then they think that they wont understand the pain they've been through. They wont tell them the hurts and aches they've had. Like is it the right person. Did you not tell me and everything that is holy that the person your talking about is the right person. Yes dude, dude-ets it's going to hurt, but you want it to stop right? I mean like you do want no one else to go through that, right? It happens bye telling. you tell them what you went through, Time will still heal their wounds. Like who the fuck would give a fuck and who wouldn't, isn't going to end you up with the right person. (Funny though it's the people who care and scream and kick about the about the small things that make the best lovers.) Where were going anybody would care. They'd all care, but who the fuck can take it; that is the question.

Where Will We Be When What Is Ending And Becoming Where.

Well, I'm sorry there is a big truth there. I'm who, what, where, when, and where around the home. Then new things are added and the when and the where change slightly and then the you who are slightly different. The what is constant. The what can not be different. All the stalling and fighting and stupidness of the last century, let's say. Ended up with about a 4.2 second delay in the time it took me to complete my quest to know who I was. Finding out what is going to be something.

People might be wondering. How could you not know what? They might be thinking I've seen some freaky shit man, but when it comes to you... Never have I seen such a freaky thing. True, being freaky is me. As we go on you'll probably find that I'm freakier and freakier than you. A real droid.

What contains personality as well though. What contains more than just what I've done. What is what I am. To Humanity God is the universe the stars, all that we're in, what we've come from and what we become.

Yes, that is something I've made. It's not necessarily what I am. The totality of me, is far beyond what has been this universe for so very long. What contains, some of me far before life. What contains some of me far after life. What flows though life and truly touches very little of what this life containing Universe is.

For you who though, What is very important. Just like my journey to discover who. You too are on a journey to discover who you are. When you discover who you are off and on, until finally you know who you. I hope it is as much fun.

My life on the discovery to who has been the greatest. Not once has anybody who has appreciate my gift ever treated me wrong or caused me any grief or disrespect. Never not once. On the other side against life. I can calmly say that they tried and did not win. Pathetic creatures that would try at nothing to make me feel angry and hate my friends.

You take what I just said up there about trying to find out who you are while I discover what. That's what your life going to be a bit what. You want to get along with people a little bit better, try de-age-afing yourself.

There your going to be though, I hate to make you paranoid. Finding out who you are. Other people want to know who. People from good families. They have a daughter, your someones’ son. Maybe so far you haven't done too much, like your parents are too tight. So it might not just be me what, whom wants to know if your a person who is trying to get to where. Remember where for you; Why and How for me. Another truth that you might find interesting... is that if me taking an interest in your life seems exciting and more strengthening than an average day. When the right person starts thinking of you, you probably think that's it's me, God almighty thinking strange desirous thoughts about you. It'll be them though. The person of your dreams. She'll have finally connected the dots, or she'll be astro-wanking and the mind will drift into the right person, maybe from behind a guy at the counter or something and then wham-mo. It's not just you you care about, it's them too, you want more.

Like I care about this universe. That's the feeling it can be. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the first time. The interest though. Romance entanglement. The biggest of the bigs for most people.

The Job

The Job my Job, what are you going to do?

What baby, what are you? I mean it man what are you? What did you do what did you do while God was finding himself. Is it a mission from God? Did you fall into a TV reality. Or did you just click that on when you where tired. Is it your life or are you your own past time. When did becoming yourself become your own past time.

What Did I Do While Finding Out What Was You?

My first thought this mourning. While I wonder for those that wonder if God is sleepy in the morning. Is How many people had to know who was in order for me to know who. A shame really to those that had to be told who I was. a person might have thought very bad of God. Then someone comes along and tells them it's me. Very Bad.

The weather, how's the weather going to be. I'd hate to live in a place where the tourist are more important than the rest of the population. How stupid can a country or town be. Year after year treating your citizens as being not as important as these visitors who come. Really most places that indorse such activity also require their citizens to treat the people better than they would their own family. It's sick. The only reason I could see to travel that way is to visit relatives that a person hasn't seen in a long time.

If you've ever been in a city that's hosted one of those big tourist events you can see it every where. The trees are sick from all the metal in the air. The super structures. Half their low end population looks like they've been fucked by the "new" richy rich. The upper end looks like they caught A.I.D.S.

Economically their screwed. Don't believe me visit Sydney in a few years. They spend so much trying to cover it up. City to city. Town to town. That in the end, their really only making it worst. N.A.S. that's going to be worst. Faster perhaps, might take a little less time, but hey hey. They had to have it their way. In their minds there is no way that God is right. Can not be, will not be, They can not except the program.

Stupid people living out stupid lives. Life goes on. Those that admit life is hard, go on and have great lives. Ever been to one of the cities of talked about. Seen them at the cafes. Hanging their asses right out into the street. That's not what I'm talking about. Real life, real fun, real enjoyment. Being their long enough watching them die. There's the party. Like around here. One building after another. More and more people. Like watching a enlarged meat grinder carrying your troubles away.

It's a good time. Gee's now that you think about it, while most cities are probably going gee gosh it's back to the eighties, yea hah !!! We can definitely say. Thank fuck. Thank fuck it ain't the eighties. I can imagine what that must have been like. Your not God. You've got to make the connections. Someone bumped into someone or something then they're carted off. Over and over again. The religious freaks are making out okay, but not as good as you would think.

Etc.

At least where we are we're happy it's 2003. I mean shit. Have you been to if one more person says, "just like the eighties." or "the eighties are coming back." Don't you want them to die!!! I do I want them to die right away. That's the problem I've got to cool down I've got to let them die naturally. Real disease, real instant, real pain and injury.

Oh, I'll let you know someday how I found this free time. Anyway back to the N.A.S. This is funny I know... There are more miracles going on than ever before. The greatest, but these are the freakiest. Is this a miracle. Sure eventually. There is a movie out with the disease N.A.S. in it. Then I'm watching the lasted "they suck I'm the real deal..." on the Tele. For something to do they put on a band called you guessed it, "NAS".

The bands like. I feel a vibe, do you feel a vibe. I'm freaken, I mean freaken. No I don't run around and stuff. I don't have enough money. Latter like the next day, I'm at the mall. Sure enough I look under Rap/R&B and there it is NAS. Not just one album or two albums but about four. Fucken rocken

I don't have the time or the money to get into a new band right now. That's great. I'll by them latter, when they are done making albums.

Anyway I thought it was fun.

Lousy Music.

What up with Dat? Anyway I just thought I’d tell you the one about the musicians that sucked. There’re weren’t any and it was all fine and Good. Then we were thinking though. Why not have musicians that sucked and everything. It’d be cool we could make fun of them and stuff and then when their women come onto us we could scream because you call that a come on. I’m dying hear. I’m wondering if your psychologically damaged or something. What do you do next all get together naked and stare at each others backs.

Fuck. Your lucky to have you looks when you do, you could end up with no one with you ever. The cloths coming off was enough for me. You see that lack of soul there. I was there the dream the she’s right hot the beauty the whole fucken thing. The choice in men should have been my first clue.

Sex-droid twelve reporting. Last scene in trolling for dollars. "I wonder, could she have A.I.D.S. yet." Sheesh A.I.D.S. she’s lucky if the whole on the inside of her crotch don’t attract strange unknown things from the corner of my mind.

Then again could be verbal abuse.

Ahhhh death it seems everybody wants me to talk about death. All right death everybody dies goes onto the after-life. Those that don’t end up in hell purgatory or other strange neurotic places of my mind go to eternity. We’re there really are only a few people who might totally fuck up and think they are permanent. Those and those that follow them will go to the after-life. To be sent to hell purgatory or any other strange place I can think to send them on their way.

I know that might not be the big death talk we’re talking about. I hope to get to that latter. I really do. You’ll find I’m really just discovering what that is all about. Sure I know a bit about the who of it. That’s right upstairs there where I just wrote.

But the what the what is coming and it seems to me that they want the what right there the whole fucking thing right near the beginning so I’ll be tired and week near the end. That might happen you never know. It’s possible too that that I might enjoy a rerun or two that I might enjoy hearing the same song again. That I might want to enjoy the same parting the same separation. The joy of the universe being better either way. The joy of the universe being way (the-fuck) better either way not so much of that these days. Same old same old. Never a dull moment. That sort of thing.

Like that big pinball scene in the sky. I’m know what I am. You might fight you might try not to know who you are. Fight too hard though and I’m going to kill you. The thought, "Death does the killing." That’s what. I could eat that with a worm. No, death is change same as always. The earth always changes. When the leaves fall in fall. When the river reaches the sea. Bugs in winter fruits in fall. Everywhere and everything that person used to do, say hello to, kiss hello and good-bye. Are all changed. Things that a person moves around a house. The air they breath. The candles they lit. The place where they bought their pizza from.

All different from one persons death. Now if you want to know what my life is like. Many people die all over the world. Different numbers in different cities all affecting everything that goes on. Those stories of all the lives all the thoughts all the money all the air they breathed changed.

Those are stories of those that are left changed fitting into other stories a little bit different than they did the day the hour the minute the moment before.

Never the same never to be swept under the rug. From the evilest fuck fuck; my personal Satan. To the friendliest super mom. Their lives have affected and changed those lives of the people they touched. It’s all caught up in the what we do.

You think your such a great delivery person you bring food to the little old ladies in a building maybe one of them is great. You’re the super greatest pizza delivery guy ever. Nothing could go wrong. Then all of a sudden she dies. Your now the guy who takes money to the misers up on the 6^th floor. You’re a shit.

Remember the shits up there earlier in the story the ones who go to hell. That’s what you are. Your life is based on what other people do. Your depending on the beautiful girl to always be there for you. Your just a peace in someone else cog. Living a life where the worst ting on earth is getting in an accident. Unable to face the reality that your life is stuck in AI created buy another man or me?

Because that nice women in that building or those students that need there floors waxed have to have work done. It’s not required that you go to hell. In reality though. You might want to keep in mind that real people have lived real lives. Your life of depending on who you help and when you help them is stupid. When you die you’re going to hell. Truthfully it’s nobodies business but mine who goes to hell or not.

Ohhh little worker man. That’s great we hope you do. We hope you work real hard. Remember though "hard work never got anybody anywhere," do you know what that means. It means that you can work hard all you’re life, good job and everything, and still go to hell.

Going on to eternity, or staying eternal really. Is based more on who you help. Now your not aloud to look at anybody’s soul or anything like that. Getting paid to help people though it’s a great job it’s great work. No though it do not affect who’s going to hell or not. You see I make those decisions and while your clinging to your job of the helper bee. I’ll laugh my ass off should you die. I’ll think it was the biggest joke in the fucking world.

How’s that I’m new at this….

Heh heh heh.

I Thought You Meant Death

You meant what’s it like to kill. Well I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you. I mean it’s kind-a like on of those fight things. Like if you want to get into a fight. The best thing to do is find someone else who is looking for a fight. Then you two and or four or three fight and if no one gets killed it’s called a fight.

Killings different. In the situation above you could call that killing which it is in a court of law. As far as weather or not it is to kill though no it is not the same as killing. Me killing different. As, I also do the judging. Anybody or people I would have to kill are at a huge disadvantage. I can just skip the killing and go about with the judging. Judging is easy. Ohhhh did you live a good life. Did you save all your fuck ups till the very end. That’s too bad I really feel for you. Decided to bug a friend or bug a brother. No sorry I got this place though it’s hot. You’d like it. It’s the bomb!!! Ohhh you might have to relive the same mistake over and over again though. No sorry that’s the best I can do. It’s that easy.

Shit half you people never did too much anyway.

Got to shut it down I hear the bathroom calling.

Music.

I was just at a record shop and we were talking about music. Ahhh what a relief. We talked about punk-rock music. Not my favorite. I’m playing some right now. Fun though. How with enough movement, enough interest is generated and that interest can become enough to get some financial mojo going.

Once you got some mojo going then your really "in trouble". Then you have a chance to get out-a dodge. Get out-a dodge is an old expression. It means like in those old wild west movies. You know your life is pretty much heading towards a bullet in the head or an untimely death of one kind or other. Then when you get your mojo going there is a chance for one or two or a few of you to actually do something with your life.

Rare, but sometimes it happens.

Music though, sometimes it does happen though, like right now there are a few people trying to get something going on in "the scene." The scene is another expression, you might find out what that means if you live long enough.

Anyway, one of these groups is like the closed group. You’ve all seen it. You can only go to their shows only their music are you supposed to listen too etc.

In the other camp(s) as far as I can tell you have a choice. You can go to their shows, The other peoples shows. So far that’s it though. "The scene", around here is stuck in a two or three choice sinerio

Maybe it’s the different night thing. Like you take this night and we’ll take this night and eventually there is something to do every night. One thing one choice each night. Just like when they were kids. Mom and dad telling them what they could do each night. Those are the choices.

My goal and I can guess, hint hint, that the goal of a lot of people is not to live the same life they had as a child.

It’s dull, boring and really cuts down on anything magical happening around here.

In my world there are at least three great things to do on any night for anybody. Some nights have multiple options.

One quick Canadian note. If your on the east coast and your wondering if there is a great scene out here to get into. No there isn’t it’s the same old sad we take mob money and complain about the lame turn out and "turn off" after the show.

On a lighter note there may be a few men who are sick of all the shit. Who might decide to travel in there journey to find who.

I hear you over there on the coast. You gorgeous women. Begging for it. Let me tell you the truth though. If my women wasn’t here I would have moved there long ago.

Ohhh yeah one last note from the men out here. Don’t fall for "slow mo mocam and the boys" as Saint Johner’s, Saint Johner’s they ain’t.

Why I Seem Not To See Romance

I don’t seem to see romance because I’m the type of guy who sees the romance when I’m with the chick. You know when I think about it. I see the romance every time I’ve ever really thought about her. Being with the same woman for ever and ever. Like man to you that might sound bad or ruff, but to me that is the balls to the wall the be all end all, and what it is all about.

I mean fuck, If your like me you’ve wondered the pre-universe for ever always searching for something permanent. Pre-matter. Pre-thought really but something something that you can cling onto when it’s all falling down. Something you can hold onto when it’s good or ruff. A person you can hold up when when things are great there right there it’s all permanent it’s not going to change. Love. Ideas concepts. Pre-eminent thought. Always been there always will.

These concepts thoughts are older than the universe. Love hope dream desire. Ever heard of the concept of hope. Well those that think it’s there private little word for hell are going to have real troubles real problems. I mean it man. I’m sick of the under-ground sick of all there wining about being the same shit in a different pile. No they are not. The only problem with the people with badges or rights to kill is that they think it gives them a free ride.

The other side the other side has no badges is fighting to get wasted and looks at their kids like there some sort of feed for their local hit-man to warm up on before they get to the big one.

Concepts Before Time.

Yes well this is the book of what, so I’ll have to get into the before the thought of man others life things of a God but not God.

I’ll have to get into that a little or it wouldn’t be much of a what now would it. Before there was you there was plenty for one thing let me tell you. I’ve taken baths more interesting than my entire life. The ideas I was sort-a hoping to get into though were those of love thoughts desires. What’s the big Cahuna to me. The big cahuna to me it like an entire world might be interesting in like a few years you know every body who made it. Everybody I’d care to see. And I run the whole thing.

Before time there where concepts like spheres. "let’s make planets," that sort of thing. "cubes, what’s a cube?" sugar. That sort of thing. What will we hold it up with? "space" that sort of thing.

Just me, me all alone. The worst life ever; it was not. Quite a bit of fun actually. A ball. A party. Of course you mother (grandmother) might not have been there. She might not have meant much to me, but what does she mean to you. Eh? That’s the fucken question. Did she raise you to spit on Christ at the mall. You would think so. The way some of them act. Don’t let the new Mob rule you or your thoughts, give them as little time as possible. Do not concern yourself with them.

If there is a new school, a no school and an old school, which there is, then they are dead school.

How to live, how to survive, how to enjoy life versus how t kill yourself. Humma I wonder who is going to win. I mean it’s like right complicated.

The simplicity of the fool.

It’s cool though, I dig Jesus. Because he makes the chicky poohs come around. I mean who the fuck are these people. Are we to believe they will obtain lives. Was it something cool to say in front of the parents, or was it a way to rip you off at the mall.

Really anybody. Anybody here ever hang out with some rich parent dicks and not get ripped off. Anyone, I mean did you get a free book after the parents invested in the album or movie you like before it was released.

Remember when it all comes down there entire life as cards they’re going to want to blame it on you. It’s going to come down to them blaming you or God. God is a person too he has enough shit on his hands for any person to handle.

So there is will be blame God for something you do. Or take responsibility for your actions.

My being responsible is not laughing too hard at them as they all caught A.I.D.S. and died.

Ahhhh cadets that’s were the real fun was.

Excuse me I just had a space cadet moment. Like us yesterday. When I like most people drifted into a world we’re it was like everybody listened. Now I know you people make fun of me for not carry about shows and stuff like that like you want me too.

I care I care about having something to talk about. Like if you blind or deaf or you know or care about someone who is or does. Then you should give them a call or help them out. This is way beyond the normal shit. They got cheesy motherfuckers trying to get them to deliver their cheesy mother-fucker shit. They most have lost their main dealers somewhere. They’re looking for some people with no eyes, no ears, and truthfully with a fine sense of smell.

I mean what was it man the K.G.B. what took them out. Was it you was it me? You think they know, you think they’d believe. Nah not me. Never try to make sense with a person who is trying to be a potato. They’re not very good at it. But they try really hard.

Time before matter.

That’s how I guess. Nothing more. What is more about what I can do, what I’m really like. Is he really up tight. Private person. Am I shy. Verily complicated. It, verily, means, sometimes I’m complicated and sometimes I’m the most easiest person to get along with. Verily like if math went from 3 to 7 then there was an x and x could equal from 3 to 7 then that would be a very verily x. an x that went from 3 to 6. Well you get me. You do the math.

It’s that simple. Life is that simple. I must go one. Shy no complicated. Fuck yes. Actually if you look at physics all alone, I guess you could tell that I’m very extremely complicated. Then someone will come along and solve a big one and hey it’s still calculus to some people but to many I’m less complicated.

The physics of electricity moving through something very small. Compute. He he. I care I really care I really do. I hear your sad. I hear your lonely. I know you care. For something like that to change takes time though. People aren’t robots there not machines. You want real change non of that fake shit. Then you got to wait, cause there are people out there just like you. Waiting hoping dreaming to meet someone like you.

Time what is time when you have all the time in the world to time. Could it be another way to get with me. That’s what it’s all about. What’s with the differences with the different sides of me. They aren’t in conflict. Some people like some parts of me more than others and that is what I’m all about.

I’m the friendly guy. The last time I check there was only one person on this earth I came into it wanted to screw. I changed that they sold out. Onto the bigger better life. Esperanto, I’m all done. Would I go back to someone who sold out. Fuck no!!! They’ll do it again it worked out so good the first time.

Remember if all they have left is you taking them back to complete their version of the perfect life. Then they’ve probably done stuff that no cow would forgive and they sure the hell didn’t put you on the top of their list. So could it possibly be that some mad ass woman has separated you from her in order to get with her.

Mad ass, mad ass mad ass.

Hahhah hahhh hahhha hha. The hardest thing old school freaks have to do is not laugh in their face. And if you have a badge, not a fake one, you really don’t even have to do that.

Nature

So far in my life I love nature more than any man or woman I’ve ever met. To the point of structures made out of natural substances. I don’t have to say I don’t know what it is. I know what some of it is. Some of it is the being alone thing. Many people might say that God is all alone when he is all alone. No actually sometimes I’m so never alone it would freak some "young" people out.

Being alone in nature though is the biggest. There is a people who understand me. Peace. Real peace non of that fake ass shit. Real peace is like the summer morning when you see the rabbit on the way to being killed. You know he’s done something wrong. His clan has forsaken him. He no longer exists to them almost to his or hers very mother. Off he goes to destroy the morning calm. The killing of him might take till late in the afternoon. He’ll go though, and the woods will go on. It’s peaceful in the morning. No one wants to here from the humans. I’m a freak. How did you know I was God. How do they know. Like I said I’m the freak.

I get to experience the, "You really are you." It’s not just fake. The real deal. Fun Bri. Interstellar-Bri. Right there in the woods. Fun!?? You ain’t seen fun, if the woods outside of a nuclear power plant can remember me, What’s your excuse.

Like if you had a long lost friend and you hadn’t seen them in a long time. Especially if you met them when you where an adult. They show up and guess what. They’re the same. A little bigger that summer. A little more pumped up. There though, the personality they fell in love with.

That’s the way it works the whole fucking thing, my mind. I build things and if they love me they are a "keeper". Like the forest the trees. Even annoying little bugs.

Love is a two way street for most of you. All of you really. But me, that’s what. I build things, some that move and shake. And if they fall in love with me. I keep them They’re keepers, should they pass away or fall away, I’ll find them. There is no other way.

Here’s a glimpse at my personality, for younger people out there. Not once have I met a bad, I use the word bad, person who loved me. I’ve seen a few rotten fruit on a bad day. But never never has a bad person ever loved me. It would go against they’re very nature.

Fake it in public. Make others think they feel that way. That shits as old or older than the house I’m living in.

I mean I’ve seen people command whole armies to their very rotten death, all based on them, that man convincing them that I loved him. That I reached down from heaven and loved him. No I’m some sort-a weird-o… freak. Humanity just like the woods. That’s the world we are heading too.

If you’ve ever been there ever hunted ever tried to grab the wrong fish. I can tell you it’s a scary experience. They no like. To go in there and try to take wom-enthing out that doesn’t want to be taken out. Not good ain’t going to happen. Just like in the real world. It gets worst and worst. Don’t try and learn about evil. It wont help you and it sure the _______ wont help me.

Ever seen dear cross the road when you have time to drive slow. To really pause the car and see them lead their young across the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that care out of a human being. Not once so far in my life.

Maybe it comes from licking each others arses. Who knew. A sense of humor too. They like it tough. They live in packs. They care about each other. Failure is failure. Just like in the real world.

Ahh Real Life

I’ve made a decision that affects a whole lot of countries. The three closest countries will now behave as if I said now right away, must change to say. There’s probably about forty offices world wide going, Great, excellent. Something to do with the day. But no we have to listen to traitor. The liar of faith. He'’ wicked ways, because of this because of that. No Dude real God real personality.

You ever notice how many people walk up to me like they have my time clock or like they talk to me like I’m their wife, or worst husband, or just don’t know how to behave. God dude. That’s right no bouncing it off the TV, no other excuses or things. Just God. You talk to him/them like they’re God. If your having your holy day please avoid me. I’m a very holy person but You’d be a where. Because technically I could be having a holy minute too. Might be healing the sick in a foreign country or something like that.

You never know what a mind like mine is up too. You never do. I might be dreaming about how. Bob and betty get themselves out of the double death trap or I might be thinking. No shit that’s like asking a guy to walk a mile on a tight-rope. I’ll come up with something different. Shit if your escape someone else with the woman you love then I better have Them all covered eh!? All the possibilities. One chance what are we supposed to do, wear tights.

The Elaborate Cover

I have no cover. I’m what you call a spy or an agent. The smartest thing I’ve ever seen a country do. Make me not an Israelite. "King of Israel" coming though" Yes in most countries I’m God and that’s it. It’s fun, if you haven’t clued in yet. I love being God. Kindness I love people who are kind. Kind and love me, you’re a keeper. Now as I was saying. I have a real job in my country and that my friend is smart. Excellent couldn’t be brighter. I’m also God here. Being God’s been my secret identity so long it’s almost as much fun blowing that cover as it is being God. Now most counties get the God and that’s good that great.

Kind each and every day. Sometimes being kind is staying home and making the suffer. So that is that the rest of the world is pretty much stuck with me being God. If I see your country it will be as a person on vacation and I better be treated that way. God, down, and on with the beauty that makes your country great.

Why is your country great. What makes it not the country beside it. Why is your country the greatest. What makes a Canadian drewl on a bad day and go yeah we got the sun on a Good day.

I’m in heaven!!? Well shit the last time I checked you were in heaven too. Sorry it couldn’t be perfect, sorry it’s not everything you’d hoped it be. Of course I’m not finished. I’ve got thoughts about things. People who ascended. How are they going to get a S.I.N. were do they find employment. We’ve got real problems, real life. Real things going on.

I mean shit you think it’s all over and we’re done and we pack it up and go home. I know your used to taking the lose. Used to me being kidnapped. Beat on shipped somewhere and returned in a paper back.

All those passes cards and rules. Great shit. But where is the average citizen in such a world. Illegal citizen ship. That’s what it looks like. I mean some serious fucken workers here. Real people who’ll love real rules. All that’s great.

In case the world hasn’t noticed. It’s the year 2003 A.D. here and well you need to realize that I think it’s great that your clean up after world war two. Mean while though even in kidnappedtivaty I’m moving on going forward. Real life must continue. Who’s waiting for them. The people who break the rules. Shit they can get you a job a roof over your head in no time.

We’ll wait. I know I’d wait. Of course will I wait forever. No. That’d be stupid. Will I wait a week a month a year. What will go on in that time. Are the people who look after those things going to be so busy looking at their TV or out their window to do their work. Shit man there’s no need for new departs and special services for that stuff. Real persons in real jobs going. Yeah I can handle this but I need more.

You start from the top like in any company and you work your way down. Till the lowest person at that office knows what’s going on. What’s going down.

Real life real miracles. The hardest part the average citizen has around here is realizing that if they haven’t seen a miracle in a week; they still have to know what miracles can take place. Magic nature call it a butt wipe if you have to.

In this city sometimes the hardest thing is to realize that miracles other than people disappearing do exist. Might seem strange. Might be the bizarrest thing you’ve ever seen. Maybe even the smile of the right girl on an otherwise lost to "the man" day.

What Is God?

What am I. Let me see. I’m a person place and thing. I move so I guess I’m a verb too. Do I do things While I move yes. So I guess I’m an adverb. Do I change my mind about things. Yes I guess I do that too. Even about what happened if you look it that way. So I guess I’m a conjugating as well.

People know of me they follow who I am. So I guess I guess I’ve got personal pronouns as well. Interesting isn’t it. Is there anything left really. I’m all those things and yet there were people who would try to find the thing I can’t do and fit that into their life. Gee’s there really isn’t that much time left for them.

Even with the day Job, I have more rights than anybody else in this city. Include the God factor in that and I guess your pretty fucked. Not much I can’t do. You might ask if God can do so many of those things, how come I can’t… fly or something? Well just because I can do something doesn’t mean you can do it. That would be silly. I’d never try and do something like that. Would I. Nah that’d bee silly. Like if I made a world once were everybody was equal. Then in time even in that world I’d start to stand out. I’d become slightly more powerful and different. Almost as if what I was was what I was and no matter what I did it wasn’t going to change that.

Funny really. There’ve been three of those other worlds. They all failed. The goal or idea of being just another human being is unknown to me. Stupid, no! Not stupid just a being out there in space trying to make friends. Make friends sounds kind-a strange when you think about it. But yes I’ve tried it. And some of the stuff we enjoy here is a result of it. What is a light bulb if you were the only person in the world if not a friend. What are toys to a child, friends? Mostly for me at least. Not because I don’t have any friends, but because that is what life was like for a while. (for me.) me and the other light bulbs hanging around trying to be each others friends. I know sounds dumb sounds stupid. But hey it worked. We had a good time.

A car, a way to get from point a to b. What is that if not a combination of friends. How are the light bulbs and the machines getting along. Probably not that well. They weren’t designed for you. They were designed for us all hanging out.

We used to be metal. We were all bond together and we moved and changed shape and became different shapes. But of course though in time. There were no sections or pieces. Let’s say an area grew different than the rest and well it wasn’t good because that metal wasn’t designed to have any differences. When the differences showed up it went against the master designer. The master designer was inside the metal and there wasn’t time from the master designer to inform them that I was the master designer. So it fucked up. Ate it self you name it. "Not Good"

Then there was adventure. I made myself so different that I would stand out in a crowd of anybody on any planet. How’d that work out. Not as bad actually. I could get laid to save a heep. Sex wasn’t invented. We just basically went around killing each other. Good times. Of course eventually it had to end. In a concept that was based entirely on, to kill, well can you imagine. I was pretty good. I knew what I was doing? Doubtful. One slice of my blade and whole army disappeared. So then it was off to see a king I should have said the king. Anyway he wanted to learn how his troops (they called them men), back then. Could do the same. I knew I was God, but I knew it would never be the same. So what did I do I refuse to tell any body. I waited till me and my friend were all alone and I told him. It killed him. End of program. I had forgotten or couldn’t remember, because of the pressure, of the king what the kill switch was. So nope that was it telling them I was God was the kill switch and I told my friend and he died. All hell broke loose. And I was far enough away that I died a merciful death.

I guess I won. I guess I did come up with the concept of friend. I knew what it was and I went packing. I mean some serious kick ass planning. This world might have been built in seven days. Check out light, hint hint. But the planning. That’s what all this waiting for things like flying, well I don’t know if you’ll fly. That’s what’s taking so long for stuff like that though. I know it seems like a long time to some and to others,,, no it’s a long time. Well that’s the thought though. A lot of planning. A lot of knowing were I’m going to be. A lot of people might have tried to stop me. But that wont happen. For one thing the time reset takes about 1.3 seconds so you can imagine how long it really takes me to be able to do all this with a couple of sticks and a pair of tweezers.

Remember I didn’t give up on the "bulbs" I didn’t give up on metal. The adventures though. I’d have to say that’s were friends were created. Of course since the creation of sex, romance, and rock and roll. Everything should be all right.

Language. Did I say adventure. I meant to say language.

Heh, heh silly me. I hope that didn’t start any fights.

I’m caught In A Mystery

Well I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I put the first part of this book up there on the web. It seems like a lot of people think I’m done. Sad really I’d only just begun to talk about my self. You see though I’m caught in a mystery. Many babies are being conceived. Many thoughts are being consumed.

What else can I say. One God for ever and ever. Not yet. "I ain’t all there." I’m just past who on my way though what. I think I might have a personality split. Maybe I could get myself to listen to Lizard. Ripped in half. It’s, "to me" a song about when you racing, trying to get a lot of things done. The all of a sudden you hit upon a choice that has two choices and you feel about 50% towards either way.

Funny really. If you ever get there sober it’s quite sombering. I had one once were I paused for many a moment. Time minutes. Drifting by. I could have easily thought of many thoughts or possibilities. The thoughts though just kept going over and over though. I chose to look at them that way. Quite fun. Ripped in half. Sometimes having any choice at all back in the eighties would leave a person ripped in half.

For now I’m ripped in many particles. Floating voids forming shape and becoming the wishes and substances need to get a few people through an otherwise difficult situation.

Ahhhh peace.

Autobiography

Autobiography. Nah this can’t be that. I can’t do the auto biography. I gave it a go once and what I discovered was this. It would take me about ten pages to sum up a night I had over ten years ago.

That’s a lot of writing. For anybody. That was not even the most interesting or entertaining evening. So there there will be no autobiography. I hope you, my loyal fans get a kick out of the movies and some of the books out there about me. Like the fake auto biographies. The This is how God thinks and acts movies. Truthfully I hope they sink. I hope they sink ships and vessels. Me I know who I am, I don’t need to see some carneis version of who I am paraded all over the television or the movie screen.

Last time I check hitler was the only one who made movies like that. Let’s leave it there. Let’s leave it in the past.

Evil folks, evil. Last time I checked I wasn’t evil. By the modern definition. Any Knight, Any warrior with a badge and a gun would be considered evil. People who fight for freedom. Ideals a country holds dear. They’re not evil. Their right.

I can only hope that your discovery of who I am, while your involved in the who you are is as fun for you as it was for me. What is fun eh. Finding out you can crawl yourself out of a murder hole and smile about it the next day. Passing your drivers license. The screaming agony as you know you’ll miss the next turn and you’ll find your self frozen in time. Wondering what the fuck anybody ever taught you about life. Did they know life were they ever alive. Maybe that’s the difference.

I can imagine what it’s like to be human. I know you all so well, but it’s not the same as being human. Faith!? Not being human is about floating. It’s about finally being able to be cold. It’s about floating and disappearing and coming back. And maybe next time having time to get a bag of chips for someone you love.

What Am I? What Is God.

You see yes, I’m caught up in something pretty big here. The biggest of bigs if you ask me. In the middle of it right while it’s going on though. I’m becoming myself. Everything God is. Every love fiber of my being. Everything that makes God God I’m becoming. That’s just the what, wait till we get to where. It’ll be fun.

You see I’m very glad to stay here, and I’m sure there are a lot of theories about what people are made of and how it relates to God. Like going way back and all that. The truth is though. My existence is so different than yours. Ill always be more different. Is becoming more different and apparent everyday.

Real fun just like in the real world. They’ve been trying to destroy this party for so long. Like your son’s and daughters birthdays. How they try and crush those simple joys’ by trying to take them away. Me, though, God. I know when you see your son up there working or raising kids of their own. I know that your "freaking out" as we say.

You’re a success. I know that’s a terrible word these days. That’s what it is when you’ve done that you’ve succeeded. Maybe your of the other camp though. You’ve had a son or daughter switch over. Don’t give up. Until we shoot the fucker and the bodies been blown off the face of the earth or they are dead. If you don’t have a "badge and a gun." Don’t give up.

I’ve seen addicts quit more stuff than the biggest addicts. It can be done. Until then though. It’s another dollar. Another bit of information. More movement all on the other side. And they will lose.

Who raised you, how did you get by. I can only hope that the generations to come that have the huge advantage of me being here, "long time". Live up to our hope of what they can become. They aren’t gong to have as long to make their mistakes. They are going to have too many friends to hang out with over there on the "dark" side.

I ramble though. What is it about rambling. You know I was thinking something absolutely funny last night. I’ve been going on about how much I love myself. True. The it occurred to me. I don’t actually talk about myself too much. It’s at most a story I’ve done. Or a story about someone else told though a song they did or the neighborhood they are from.

I’m thinking to myself. I must talk about myself sometime. I’m not just a series of commands. Then we’re going out to the car and I’m doing it while thinking about it. I’m talking about the record done then or the thought I had then. Now I’m thinking that maybe it’s the time of year. So I’m looking forward and thinking about all I’ve heard or been through. Funny really.

Maybe your thinking if I stayed with the right woman long enough I might change that. I mean maybe. I think that ship sailed though. I mean my mind alone is "C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D". I can’t image, the things I’m going to have to worry about with her.

First. I have to worry about not blowing her face off with my exhalation. The not to burn her face off with my voice. Spontaneous movement. Have to be careful about that. Once in a while I have a thought, rarely really rarely. Usually I have thoughts. You could choose to look at them as a series of thought but they are really usually just a thought that is more than one thought. Then I suppose there are thoughts that are a series of thoughts that are a serious of individual thoughts. An I guess it’s possible to surmise that these thoughts can be verying number for the individual ones or strength for the others.

So my breath, my voice, my solidness. My mind bending need to know the truth about my self. To very mystery… Can you see me with a woman that had to here the end of every thought I expressed. I’d never get to take a breath.

The other two things I can think of off the top of my head; One is the fact that I move around very fast. I’m very careful about the floor and that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily have to make sudden moves. And moving important things when she’s in the can will just have to be something I start to do.

The other thing I was going to mention was the idea that I can, emphasis on can, change the speed or the topic I’m talking about very fast. Like motron fast.

Well maybe not motron fast.

The other one and I can not emphasize this one clear enough. Is the fact I mean flip fucken real fact, know when I’m listening to a bad idea. Like if she was to come in with a bad idea for a trip or the date of the trip or a bad location, on vacation or something like that. I know it. I mean I flip fucken freak know it.

Never have I even to my knowledge even slept with someone who understood this. It’s like the master of I love you I love you turns into the ugly monster from down the street. Nothing worst. Ho yeah and I’m always right.

That doesn’t mean that when I’m hanging out at a shop or a sitting place. What we call the village in the modern world. That I always let them know the truth about their thoughts our their actions. I think even that I’m getting use to this idea that I might let them seem to be right about something. It might make me feel better.

I don’t know what that’s like. In fact I hope I don’t know what a lot of things are like from a human perspective. I’m not human. Nope not me. Not human. God.

Me God. I know I’m a one woman man I know it. Because if you look at the causes of divorce in a normal straight world and you take the things I’ve’ talked about. Too perfect always right. About everything etc. Then you can guess what it’s like to be around a person who tries to be that way.

Okay perfect, I mean it’s not always easy to be perfect in bed. It’s going to happen things are going to go off before, like you’d want them to etc.

Ohh the stuff I could tell you not form my personal experience. The things I know the dark hidden secrets of the couples that stay together. Sex smexes let’s get down to the booty.

I will now insert a picture in an effort not to ostracize the other half of the human race.

Me, Me, Me

We will pause soon in this book of mine for "the laws" of relativity to catch up. It’s fun to discover what I am. I think it is fun. Was it fun to discover who I was. NO fuck no. It wasn’t fun at all. You made it not fun. People tried very purposeful to make it not fun. A rich persons birthday was spoiled. Hey let’s fuck over Jesus for the bad birthday. What the fuck he’s only Christ you know shit like that. Bye bye, just the way I like it.

You have no idea how much I hate people like that. Absolutely hate them from the biggest brightest human to the lowliest of trees straight down to the center of the earth. People and people like them.

Anyway that’s about as much time as I spend on my hate. But if your reading this and your countries all dried up. Lie a desert or something. Or there are too many hills to cross. You better keep that in mind I never forget.

I mean fuck I’ve got storms brewing for people yelling at my window. It was fun to find out who. And I’m not just talking about a name here. We’re talking the real deal. Like reading the bible and you know it's’ me. And I like look at the world and go. Shit, I am just as strong. Even stronger, some of that stuff used to take twenty, ten years. Now fuck half the death going on is instant. I don’t get it. (well I do). Over here they blame it on TV. What’s the excuse over there. I mean I can see a few dinks praying for the cold to come back for a joke or something. But like say I take out a large farm land in Africa. I don’t want to hear them wining about it for ten years. They did something wrong live with the consequences. Grow up. Pretending to be God. Todays, underground (hint hint) government. Is the most pathetic excuse for not living in the real world I’ve ever seen.

Anyway like I was saying that was discovering who. Like when I wrote in my book the plan. The high holy one. Like me up on a hill. All by myself. That is what it was like. Why didn’t I tell my friends I knew. Because I didn’t trust half of them and I didn’t trust the other half of them around the ones I didn’t trust.

Anyway, who what a hoot. What though. I don’t know seems a little different. For one thing it seems like our countries getting it ands back. Don’t fuck with a Canadian they said. They used to like that, the friendliest people on earth. For that reason alone they shouldn’t be fucked with. I mean that’s "old school"

What am I, girlfriend, good-guy fun. So much fun you don’t want to fuck with it. I mean shit if it’s wrong to fuck with a friendly, what’s it like to fuck with a good friendly person like me. Not good.

I just thought of something funny. You know how I was going on about my early attempts at life. You should have seen the fun I used to have before all this. I mean one time I’m there and I decide to invent this wheel thing that the more it "spun" the more "joy" I’d feel. Of course I didn’t put a brake on the thing. Sure enough. I mean fuck I like fun, but this thing just kept going and going. Turn it off I’d of said but who would have heard.

Don’t get me started on the attempt to shift to pain to get the thing to stop. Fuck funny. Hey, I guess I used to swear a lot back then. I trying to think of a really funny one. Okay fire before there was anything to burn besides myself. That was funny. Of course I didn’t stay gone for long.

I practiced Kung-fu on my own for thirty years. Cool, think about it I hadn’t seen a girls ass so it wasn’t like I’d thought of much else to do with my time. It’s weird though. Do you think it was associated with that first disappearing thing. No the third one. And I’m not even talking about the third try language thing.

It was adventure, trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You see people start to think there are higher powers than me because I can’t see everybody I’d like to in the world at the drop of a hat. The truth is. My times sort of bound up here. You know, if like your at home and your waiting for your kid to come back. Maybe, I know this sounds like maybe I’m being tight with this, but maybe he’s on a list. Because it all relates to reality. Like dude, I know the expression I’ve seen some shit in my day, is becoming the coming place. But real life is I try my fucken hardest. That’s the truth. Every fiber of my being is based on I know I gave it what I had to give. Safely at home or starving in the woods. I know I love myself. Never wanted to do anybody any wrong. So I try and I think maybe there is a neater side to this TV generation, or what ever their excuse is. People aren’t walking up to me to ask them to reassemble there, let’s say, left kidney at the drop of a hat. I mean shit yes. It’s on the burner. All that sort of thing. But you’ve got to stop paying the man. Go back to being regular, go back to being normal. No extra money for them. If I find a way to find and reanima-teleportate your kid back to you. Beat the shit out of them for putting though such shit to begin with.

Humor warning; try not to cut off a limb though, it might have taken me all night to re-animate that thing.

Ohh if our reading this off the internet or something like that. And the format is different than what I first put it in. It as I type it is like one side of those old testament bibles.

The real deal, real God writing the real bible.

Ohh yeah, crapulence crapulence look out for the crapulence. I invented new words before and I can do it again. So don’t push me. I can take being me. Can you take not being necessary. I decided to undo the idea of people helping crating this world. We all went and got jobs when you weren’t looking. Ha ha.

The jokes on you. It’s fun to be real fun to understand why we’ve been screwed over. I’d just like some other people to join me over here were we know it wasn’t the government and all that. Life is not fake. Let’s deal with it and move on with our lives.

And government and all that should try their very best not to fall for old stories from old drunks about how they are the chosen ones. Do I see someone crossing a boarder because they keep saying they are "the chosen one". Grow up.

Like the bitch singing about lucky.. When the fuck did the Brittany Spears hour start running the show. It’s easy to se a world were just God runs the show. It’s as easy as one two three.

So we could try living by our own rules. I mean if you could see the phoning between the filthy rich. I use the world wisely. It’s like watching a bunch of fourteen year olds talking about wanking to Jesus. But they don’t know the words so they just talk and giggle. That’s a lot of fun when you are young but when young are older. You know an din charge of things with real responsibilities. Then it’s time to behave that way. Like real live people living their real live jobs were they earn their real live pay checks. Or "get the fuck out-of dodge".

Ahh, Me, Beautiful Me.

Hi, You might have thought I got sick of talking to myself or that the "laws of Astor-physics" may have prevented me from writing anymore. Isn’t nice that almost all the people who where concerned about this law have gone out and made it worst or harder to continue. Jealousy. They are silly people.

Anyway I’ve already prevented most of what they thought would occur. So I may continue. What is out-there. What came before earth, what was the planning. I already mentioned the fire thing. I wonder what else. Tables chairs. Sure I guess. I don’t really remember sitting on any tables before earth though. Or light bulbs or time or any of those things. Just me. Me me me. Beautiful gorgeous me.

I must say I enjoy myself very much. I am a good person. I give people a chance at life. Many people take it. I enjoy giving people that chance. I once gave myself the gift of eternal life. In a shape. It was very fun for a very long time.

Of course there was the part about not being able to shut the me down. I turned into a lot of thoughts and emotions inside that thing. If a table or a chair gives you a lot of thoughts or emotions that I probably came up with them before too. In there though the only things that would give me thoughts or emotions were feelings.

Have you ever had a feeling. It’s quite fun. First take away anything solid or monetary giving you any thought. Than base your feelings on something someone emotional did. If you think any differently than you did before. Than you have had an emotion.

They flow from one person to the next. In the beginning if no one had an any emotion than you wouldn’t have any either. Unless I did of course. So I suppose you could be getting your emotion from an original source. Or from me. You might find that strange. I do not. I came prepared. I brought my own emotions just in case the emotions I’ve left behind have grown stale.

Anyway as I was saying about feeling or feelings. Say you felt a certain way about that emotion. Well that emotion that gave you feeling is I guess part of me learning what. Cause guess what. That’s me. Hate love passion sexual turn-on. The way the light makes a certain ass look totally hot and another ass look but naked but awful. That’s the light the moon the stars all turning around and dancing though-out time making one ass look better and one ass look wimpier.

Really quite a bit of fun. I enjoy bending light. I enjoy the entire process of being me. I am me. Well recently I’ve decided once again to make a female me. I wont tell you why.

We get together. And she tells me what she knows and well I’d say I tell her what I know but their really isn’t a her, I guess that would be stupid. So in the end we both know each other and you.

It’s funny really I know everybody every thing every fiber of everything in this universe and what it’s thinking. I know how this thought makes most of the week asses squirm. At least around here. I know I know, I know. Now I’m finding out what I can do. I’ve seen who I can do. Who was fun. I thought who was what I was going to be in a way. Now I’m getting into what.

Can you make me teleport? "sure Did you miss your sons birthday?" What birthday? Oh I guess you were too busy teleporting.

Sad really but hey if you think that is what life is all about. I thin if I was a human I’d ask what I might be missing by doing things the easy way all the time.

There are only two types of people who will be going to hell to be very honest. Those that find life too easy. And those that find life too hard.

Ohh did I make the world too hard for you today. Tell it to the judge. Did I make your life too easy. Tell it to my spine I’m sure it could do with the break.

Couldn’t give a fuck. Couldn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t say it as many times as I’d like to I couldn’t give a fuck.

Amen couldn’t give a fuck.

Of course many people give thanks everyday. For just the day sometimes. Many times it’s life. Many many things people thank me for are based on life. Food, warmth, rain.

Truth is though. Humanity could learn a lesion from earth. Thank me for ruling.. You know, as I was saying I love the earth. I love it’s natureific fun side. I love it’s weather beaten earthy side. But one thing I really love about it is it rules.

Even earlier today. A "raven" was chirping outside my window. It brought up this huge discussion about pigeons parks, crying, not talking about crying. Who’s crying. It rocked. I mean a couple of chirps, and you get all that. I think that is great. You know I was just talking to the earth about I really should be ruling it, not "ruling". Remember that old eighties expression "rules." Rules everything rules. Something harmful happens to someone you don’t like. That rules. You hear a great song with a girl you doing. That rocks. Funny I just thought of it that way again. Everything not quite right, with the wrong woman over and over for the rest of your life. That is funny.

Anyway rule. Rule. Rule. You really had to hear the earth though. It argued it’s point very well. Do I really rule it. We’re not talking about he people on it now or the plants or anything. I suppose at some micro point they do connect. Or do they!! Anyway as far as actually sunlight earth planets and alignments and all that I "rule" and the "ruling" does the ruling. Ever notice if God’s (me) is having a bad day the sun light everything really cuts down a little. I notice around here it’s a little more than usual. That has more to do with personal safety though. Anyway that’s that sorry about. But that stuff is ruling and when it’s not being ruled it doesn’t get ruled as well.

I can really see where this whole mother earth thing is from. Me being masculine and all. I suppose it must look like I’m fucking this thing most days.

Really though everything we see everything you are. Everything that is in the universe. It’s all in my mind. Except for the who. The what is almost here too. Then the when and the where will be in my mind a thought I had once about people and parties. Waiting to form and become me. It’s funny really. I love being me. I’m the greatest person I’ve ever met.

Do you feel that way too. That you are the greatest person you ever met. You’ve go to really. If you’ve ever met any famous people it’s really quite peculiar. The ones you’d absolutely hate all love themselves. They love being famous and they like rub it on their skin and stuff. You’d think you’d want to puke. Then you see one of their films or what. And you think, that is a good movie, that is a great sound.

The you could meet a famous person that hates its. Their shall I say individual. Can’t give you a quick stereo-type. Different though, Very different people. Let’s just leave it at that.

What Am I Made Of

I ask myself that very question every night. What am I made of. Paper glue. The stuff that bounces off me and sticks on you. Yes I am that person that funny person. I don’t know how strong I’ll become solid. Maybe mean solid. It’s funny though. I’m probably adapting to a situation that will happen latter or a series of situations. It’s funny really squirming wirm-un. And his need to touch himself when he thinks. If I had to laugh at just one person or way of living it would be that…

Anyway I had to laugh. What Am I…. A composite of nuclei bounded at the sub atomic level… Sub atomic meaning pre-formation of reality at this point. Remember your all who. I’m the what. Ha ha ha everything. Anyway. My molecules (pre-atomic nuclei) are probably slightly more bounded at this point in my life than yours. Not longer bounded. Stronger bounded. Same with bones sub tissue you name it. Is what I am what I do. Not always, but it closely relates to time. So aside from time, most miracles thoughts magics movements and stuff of such primitive nature are not ruled by the body I’m in. They are ruled by me. The big me. The men who invented the weird body that wouldn’t die. The me who invented the universe.

Here’s an old joke. It’s been fun, this universe and everything, but I really must be going. I’ve so many things to go to. Ohh I forgot about you….

I know your not supposed to say funny so soon after a joke, but that’s funny. What is I decided to bug out-ta here. You ever think of that. Some people think they know what is going to happen. All the way though. They think they know it all because they read the bible over and over again. Maybe even The plan. And they say to themselves. I know who he is, I know who he is. I’ve got it all figured out. How’d they do.

Not very well. I know the old school word used to be tourist. Let’s call them… hey let’s just not call them. They’ll want to live some day. Someday they’ll shine down on us and we’ll be in a warmer gentler earth, or we’ll be getting a tan. And maybe we’ll think hey they weren’t that bad. And then you might get a burn on your skin or hit a kid because the sun was too bright that day or something like that and then you might stare up at the, well lit, sky instead of blaming me and yell, "you bastards!!!"

Anyway most people don’t have good parents. I think if I might look at my result sheet. That the best thing to have is strict parents or no parents at all.

Strict parents make sense and idiot parents we could all do without. Like the family that may have fed me. You could be forty years old and they’ll still place their hand on your shoulder and go, "son". Doesn’t matter. Dumb as toast. If the price is right. Souls for sale. Sold. So stupid that you could use a two-bye four to prop their eye lids open and they’ll still find a way to put themselves to sleep so they could put a new coat of paint on they’re lies in the morning.

Like hellions. I find their easier to get along with on their road to hell if you don’t remind them too often. Kind-a drives them nuts. Kind-a makes them mad.

Oh the joy I’ll have being neutral that day. Like fuck. Mcfuck. Chicken fuck. But luck.

Guess what! "Chicken butt."

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard in a punk movie. Guess what!? Chicken butt. If you enjoyed the buck buck chicken jokes and some of the others from the past few days. You might find yourself enjoying a movie called suburbia someday. There are only about three fake ones out there. Not a single fake was luck or a fluke. All just to be annoying.

I wonder if A.I.D.S. was annoying. I guess we shouldn’t listen to rich old men and how they think things should be run. Until I’m rich and old. And I guess we should listen to people who stand in the way, If N.A.S. has anything to say.

Using money to "rule" the earth, and or scene. I can’t wait to see you in the A.T.M. line. I hope it’s okay I’ve only had a little practice with this plague and I’ll pestilence you.

This pester me and I’ll plague you. It’s quite new. It’s like a where’s the humanity thing. You see some people try to take our humanity away and we like fight back with A.I.D.S. and stuff. Until your like yelling up at the sky your hot fiery God of punishment after death yelling. "Humanity, where’s the humanity."

Odds are there will be a man there and he will maybe have a cup of coffee from a machine and walk away when you look at him. You might say to yourself. At least my life is more interesting than yours.

And me and the man or woman will probably laugh at that or what ever your thinking. We probably wont let you know though, or at least we’ll try not to. Because that’s the humane thing to do.

Anyway Back to Me.

Being me is learning to fall. You know how your there and you might have to learn how to walk. Then latter you might have to remember how to lift yourself out of a chair. To walk somewhere. Well me, I’ve got to learn how to fall. I know it’s funny. You might think to your self that there are so many things to do. Why would have to learn how to fall. Well it has to do with astro-physics and the thought that I’m becoming what while we’re all who is real.

I know it sounds great all this becoming myself. You know when I become my who. I would usually shed my skin and everything. It’s quite funny. I then turned to myself and thought. Do I ever really even out. I seem to be growing at about the same amount of time it takes to be able to control myself.

You know like how hard you hit a typewriter. Stuff like that. It’s quite a bit of fun. I enjoy the weirdness the most. It’s true. I enjoy turning into shade when I’m hanging. It’s fun. Some people might get to turn into air and reappear latter because their lives are in trouble or something like that. It only cost you time. I get to turn into shadow and kind-a hang there eventually. It’s quite fun.

You see I’ve learned something from all those three other worlds. I can’t be you. I have been you for a while on this earth. And it seems quite human. Quite humane. But I can’t be you. By definition. I’ve got to be me. I know that it’s going to take a bit of time. And I’m "asking", hint, hint, for you to bare with me during these astro-physics things.

Basically as far as man is concerned. I’ll continue to grow smarter, stronger, brighter, even more knowledgeable about what really makes things, human and otherwise. Do the things that they do.

On a personal note, because this book is for me a personal thing. Something I’m doing for myself. I really enjoy the shadow turning and fame becoming and all that stuff the most. I don’t know what it is.

Is it the differences we value between each other the most. Maybe yes maybe no. Me I like the differences. I enjoy the thought of becoming something like fire. For not the sake of finding something out that I knew before I made the freaky thing. But for the sake of just being flame. Maybe it might have something to do with knowing flame is okay. I was sort-a almost smoking against my will. Maybe becoming a shadow was just to see if the shade was okay.

If you’ve ever been on a date with me. I don’t like it when the earth the air the fiber of the trees isn’t just right. It’s got to be just right. It bugs me greatly. I care that they are spraying God awful shit on my plants and stuff. I intend to kill them. Did it once, don’t bother to try. You see your dead. Made someone do it, without them knowing. Your dead. Living breathing dead. No wonder you worship your fiery orb in the sky. Kept on doing it after you found out. Your probably the most rotten of all. Your probably living hell on those around you. And then I’m going to kill you and then your going to die. And then your in the fiery orb in the sky.

It’s cool. My tree still looks hurt. I already told you. I don’t like it when my trees don’t look right. It’s really bugs me. So I guess you could say it bugs me that you made the decision to piss me off and ruin my day and now your going to hell.

Sorry there really is no way for a person not to know doing this stuff is death to them. Like I was saying I’ve lived as a human off and on. And well really if it was any more obvious we’d have to tattoo it on our but and make you into monkey men. So you could fake it at the mall. When you get your groceries, when you pay your taxes. I’m on you twenty four hours a day. Just making it right, just making it great.

The People Who Didn’t Get The Point About Lower Prices.

Your dead. As dead as that person who fucked up my tree or any of those other things. No excuses, no other way out. Dead. Dead fucker. It’s fun. Really I always win. Did you think I failed in those previous worlds and I tried so hard this time to make life and I really thought I’d made it.

No sorry dude I got bored. I had my fun and it was time to leave. And like most people well it’s quite funny. In the light bulb world. They loved me loved my gift of life so much they thought they'd die when I left. And I suppose I never gave it much thought. "I’m leaving, I’m out-a here." And I was gone. Quite fun.

The metal world. "I hate to twist things around,,," Classic!!!!! That was a wash out. As I think about it. When I separated from the mass. I started to drop like I could form something. Go from the metal thing like it was a start of something.

I didn’t do it right away though. But the idea was formed there. What if I took my time. What if I made this world. I’d build it slow like a rock that slowly formed into the earth. Well I was going to take that long in real earth time. And then a funny thing happened.

I was thinking about things that would be there. And I saw this image of a girl. A sexy woman. You know with like man boobs that would really turn a guy on.

So that was it. For the long beginning. I got side tracked and started to create a world based on language. I wanted to simulate that look and that feel. Emotional attachment had not yet taken place. With things that were all me, but not with anything that was in the light bulb, or metal community. Truthfully not with my long thought earth grown from rock either.

The language to describe sexiness and neat lightage though. That all, when I was finished constructing myself into it; became language. Cool eh. Sure I had ideas from, metal and I think quite clearly to myself that there were ideas form the light bulb age, but I could never afford them.

Fun though had a blast. Adventure. Think about always almost loosing world war II and then winning over and over again. Every man living in the end. Well almost. You bore me. I’m out-a here.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying. In live there are things that you like, things that you love even. All sorts of things like that. Things that make you emotional. Things that really turn you on. Like your thinking and feeling and it’s all going wide. Compute, I remember you. You can let it all go though. I know I can though. It’s a joke, a thought, a prayer, and I wake up and it was a dream and everything is cool. I’m okay and I’m the only thing there ever was. NO one died or ever died and it’s all okay. I never invented and then my mind gets going and I think. Or thought. After the end of language.

What is it that makes this darn earth so grabbing. I know I died on the cross. Those of you who believe Christ wasn’t me. Should keep in mind that many people died on the cross. Many, many people.

So anyway, I think that being what instead of out-a here after the life I’ve had so far is more about. Emotional attachment. I’m emotional attached to this earth. Scary. Dig this. I know why. It’s not the trees and the plants the fires at camp. The well almost anything you could name.

I could re do them for a joke. Any tree any place. Really for real, just for a joke.

It doesn’t get tiny and all the other timbers off the hook. Here goes though.

I’m emotionally attached to someone or something causing me to not want to wait the length of time it would take me to recreate the scene or place that created the person or thing. I mean like It’s weird, I could disappear for a joke and turn all this into nothing and still I’d look and it would be the person, personified by me looking at them. No return of the metal world around them. No light bulbs holding up there head while I’m falling down while they read.

No it’s true. This earth is the combo. Growing. Becoming what it is all twisted together. Looked it’s a random song a random entity. Heh, Heh I don’t think the enemy can take the emotional attachment away.

They combo is too great. They don’t go back that far. They week, and we’re the strong.

It’s fun. I mean fun.

Now for some time travel.

Well, I thought I had this great big speech, written down about the woman of my dreams. Turns out that I didn’t write most of it down. I kept most of it in my head. I just wrote a few stupid lines.

Anyway the thought I wonder about now that I’m thinking. Is if one glimpse of Boobage in an other wise normal day. Can cause such chaos. The what’s it going to be like with the real wife.

I go back. I mean I go real back. The thought that this thing is important to me is pretty obvious. I mean fuck. She has to be there or I wouldn’t know that she is.

I know that she is. How much do I know that it’s her and am I that excited back there in the partial what, the when and the where.

I’m having a great time. Fun. Real fun. I mean. Boobage. After we’re together and I know it’s her. Will it be the end of the Boobage and the begging of the man-age. It might be. Maybe that’s another reason to look at the who and the how long and the what. And go maybe just go. Hey. This calendar is pretty good. This is a where right here. What ever one your using.

Funny really all your thought and ideas about how this world could have been a better place. Not really, not for me. You see I never knew I’d be so emotionally attached. But now it seems like I always knew. I came up with the plan then. The who the what the when the where.

Brian and the high holy one just hanging out. All those Brian’s getting a break. All those people who knew I was the high holy one at the time. Not ,any not really. Just a bunch of crazy people who thin they run the show.

I have to laugh at he people who remind me… "You’re God !!! Do you know what your doing….? Watch your strength…!’

They’re like circus people at the circus who yell at the person on the tight-rope.

They wan the person to fail. They wan the person to die so they can have a story to bring home to talk about.

That or they never really thought about it. Just a person risking their life so that they might have a better day. Just another arse hole who is better than them.

Funny really though. The ones who would really be up there. Some if they weren’t scared right out of their skull. Others for other reason’s. But the ones who really would. Are usually the ones who are watching having a ball at the thought that the person "makes it".

And once in a while they make the audience scared so that they remember not everybody was there to have fun. Some wanted the person to fall. They wanted the person to fail. Never though. It’s funny to think of the tiniest person who it’s all based on looks.

They don’t want them to fall because that person might not look as good if they did. Isn’t that funny.

A lot like porn actually. Everybody wants the person or people to look enough like them to get turned on. But then they don’t wan them to look too much like them because they might, "look like a porn freak and get carted away by the circus people."

You bastards turning the circus into some sort of gene harvesting organization.

Maybe if you never sprayed a……

What Am I?

I have to laugh. Right now about 54% of your governments money is being spent on keeping me down. By people who wanted to help. By people who thought that the right thing to do was keep God out of it.

Anyway. It’s funny. You ever notice that in comic books they always seem to say . These days. "What am I?" I’m ______Man. I have to laugh. That is the funny part. Every hero. Every U.F.O. Every weird freaky occurrence. All weighed and measure, all in an effort to what. I don’t know the original sin concept on the topic; to take away the mystery. Maybe they thought that when I wasn’t here or something that I might think that and that wasn’t as bad. I don’t know. I know what most people think. I know what I think.

If you are having trouble, having to solve everything down into what did this and what did that. I recommend two things. More sleep. Or if your married. Get laid. I mean above the average sex, that is.

What am I. I know it’s funny I keep going to the molecular level, myself. More complicated. Yes, but no. Being more complicated would actually be quite, "not good", when it came to the time travel and all that.

I Don’t know. I’m different though. I know that. The weirdest thing going on in my life right now is this. I’m beginning to have normal, well things. Going to the bathroom more like when a normal human would. Having yawns and naps and sleep and well almost everything, like normal.

This might sound funny. But normally when I’m myself. I’ve got maybe like five months to get everything I’m going to do before the next time done. I’m done with it though. A person can’t live that way. I can’t. It’s lame it’s dome. Lame and dome I wonder how long they are going to be around.

You better get ready for the shit to hit the fan. If everybody was to start talking complete political correctness. Well I don’t want to get into it too much. But if you’ve ver been in one of those neighborhoods were it seems like a leave falling on the wrong side might start a riot. It’s that type of thing.

Funny though. If you live in a great town. You might notice it’s a bit like that early in the weekend mornings. What am I.

I’ve looked at a rooftop and know it was the only way to save someone. I couldn’t teleport up there with just my thought then. But instead of seeing it as a stupid thought a stupid way. I could see a time when I could. In my dreams… maybe. Maybe that too.

If your sitting out there thinking I could or would want to do this because I’ve got some sort of hero thought or hero gene. That’s great and all. Maybe you’ll make a great cop, someday or a soldier. But no I’m God dude. I’m quite curious to see what you guys can do when you really know who.

Why does who become so affected by what you do. It’s because well. I wrote the plan. It’s kind-a all about that. Kind-a about a who_________, what________, when________ and where_________.

Funny thing though. The whole thing is designed to give me pleasure. The earth. I mean it. It’s like my private thing that gives me pleasure while I look on from a far. Of course where I am has been changed. Not much else has. Actually though now that I think about it. I always thought there would be more people after the apple was eaten. I always thought I’d come down to earth. (I did not however think I would get killed by my own people). Anyway…. I also knew I would comeback. Or technically from the time you did come back. You know as a planet, "almost" right down to the original rock. That would grow an earth.

Anyway, after I put a new world back and began the ritual of when. I turned back to ,myself and then it occurred to me. Like I was say. I designed this planet for one thing and one thing alone. To get laid. Sure you might think that is funny. But what is getting laid to God. I dare you not to ask. Cause only a dare fucker would bother trying to see hear or feel the earth the way God does.

Anyway yeah. Here I am on the earth. And It’s going to happen. If this thing was designed to be viewed from above, originally. Now it’s more of an in person thing. And now that I’m becoming what. I can guess a bit about what that is going to be like.

Yes you guessed it. Once all the "little men and women",(private local joke), are done making their little appearances. Then it’s going to be really kicking in. The what I love about the world. The who I’d see in the world. The thoughts, hopes and aspirations of those around me all drawing near. Turning into a big gem of an invention. That I the greatest inventor of all time have come up with.

Cool eh! Motron God. Super God. The being of God. I’m so God it’s french. I love God. I’m being God. If I was anymore God. I’d get a tattoo that said God, paint over it in black and put an interstellar-bri-guy tattoo on my arm and laugh when I got it done.

What is it about being God I love so much. I love it when it rains on time. I love it when the park smells right. I love it when the sun sets and the moon shines down and I catch it.

I love the sound of music. I love the thought that I’m God I made that everybody I love or care about is going to make it. I love the fact that if the french-fries want to spend all their time fighting and fucking I’m fully capable of running the whole fucking thing myself and we can have a grand old end with out them.

I love it when I get into my hair and it actually looks like it should. I love it when all the kids who dress like me and try to be like me die. I love being not racist, not loudmouthed and truly really really out there.

I love being me, ergo I love being God. Do I love you do I care about you. Remember this book is all about What and Who.

Remember how many people died during when I was who. A.I.D.S. was a good word they threw on there. All sorts of stuff. Well the shit ain’t over. If your throwing your life in jeopardy please have a right to do so. If you feel that you need to do that just to live, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

The Thought "I" Had On The Way To The Mall

It’s funny you know. I’ve had an amazing day. The kind-a day that is full of the things a person thinks of, that they can’t write. I want, very badly to get into what I’ve called Astro-physics.

Alas though it is not to be. Many other things as well. I’m sure there will be a place and time for them. Maybe your own book, your album your song. Maybe there is a world somewhere where a person isn’t an over night millionaire for hitting the mother load. Maybe some year they’ll listen to the masses.

Alas though I can only say that the things I can’t say are as important as the things I do write. I’m saying that if I could really could I’m the type that would write it all down. Everything I am. Everything I’ll be. That would be me. And it wouldn’t be naive or stupid or any of those things because there wouldn’t be "those" people around.

What is she though. Why am I so obsessed with this woman. How can the though of her pull me out of a crazy ain’t going to make it time in my life. "What’s it all about".

Well I know three things about her that make her my wife. One two three, please tell me. For one she makes me me when I am me. When I’m totally me and everything is okay and it all makes sense. She is me. Then when I’m not quite myself, like someone totally famous has died, or the thing I do for a living doesn’t make sense. She puts me into being me. I’m me again. I can do these things without her, but I can’t quite get it done as fast. Can’t quite be all I can be without her. And finally, remember I know all this because I’m God. She digs the body. Alright loves the body. Not every guy can handle that. In good looking and in bad. I mean that’s what love is.

I dig it. I’m the digger. I love being loved. I know there are thousands maybe hundreds out there that love me. But truly to be in the room with someone that does. Like the her. It turns me on. I’m like freaking out. I want to know the code of my hair and the fiber of my being, because I want to tell her all about it.

Think for a moment. Has anybody ever wanted to be famous and had it not for the girl. Why do I get self obsessed. I can’t answer it all. Hey professor griff why is it the time of the calculator man. Because the hell pisser. The crap that keeps on crapping is. Every body is sick of the shit they keep inventing that everybody is dying off.

I mean it the mirco-wave aside. Does anybody even hear the fact that this shit hurts babies. Are they deaf. Do they not hear the words that are coming out. I mean fuck dude. This can't be solved. Give up. Go home. Let’s find out what they were here for. Get it done with. Over do it. And be done with them.

Humma, I’m kind-a stuck here. I was going to go on and on about what I am. Then of course I can’t quite explain what the science of the whole thing is. I mean shit. I’m sure at the end of this I’ll be glad I didn’t either. Remember the thing about not doing anything too nuts while I readjust the thing with the thing with the thing. Well the thing happened when no one was looking. Maybe a couple of rocks some where haven’t been checked yet, but we’re looking into it.

What is me? It’s fun being me. Real old town home town fun. I love it. I’m the me me. I’m super me. Not super-them. I’m the dude. I did it. I can see an end for everything I created and it’s endless. Eternity. Sure it sounds awful if life is hell and it’s all going down and you hate me your landlord and your dog. Fuck shit happens. Is it happening out of sink.

What about the earth is heaven people. If the dead get pestilence. A.I.D.S. and all that shit. What do the Heaven on earth and the what’s up get.

They get me, for one. Crazy Bri. Fucked up Bri. Superterrific happy hour bri. They get it all going on. Music, time scopeastatic crazy thought making, what just happen there. Is everybody sure they’re not God, except God, God. Great music, fun in the sun. Winter madness. Crazy thought thinking God.

Me, what could be better. You might say to your self. "Hey today is great", maybe I’ll go out and find something crappy to make things more real, heavenly etc. Don’t bother. I’m on it. I’ll think of something. Something out right absolutely disgusting will happen, to the point you will think your in a Billy Idol video.

It’s all going down. No eh. Superterrific-happy-hour-crap. Right now I’m listening to red hot chilly peppers sing about LA I mean it’s a great song. It’s about the shit where sing about writing about. It’s about what is going down. The shit is hitting the fan, heaven on earth and I’m, God talking about a Billy Idol song.

Supperterrifichappy hour. I mean it the real deal. The fast deal for some of you. I love being me. Being me is being disappointed at bands that don’t rock because I know why they don’t rock. It’s about hearing it all and know why they don’t all and caring and giving a fuck. And hoping they get out of jail on the right time and not when it’s time to make a new album time.

Non bullshit time. Real sales real world. People making there won decisions time. Superterrific time. The way to make time.

Here they go. It’s just one hit.

I care so much about me I love them. Do I hate me for loving them. No personally I laugh at people who think I give a shit about a band based on the colour of their skin or anything like that.

Buggie. Super boggie. Get down with the bouttie.

Ahh an angel is reading my letter and she knows I love her. Hopefully the thing about the dead husband will help with the obsession with death thing. If you’ve read the sandman comics I can see why you might have a crush on the death character from the comic. Like I said I did some pretty weird things before this land really got off the ground.

Sure you want to know what they feel like. But are really really ready for when you find out and go,,, oh. Then you might know that they are very different. Paranoid yet. I think so. I here you calling. All you paranoid brothers, so you can have a paranoid moment.

Me on the other hand I love it. I’m making love to myself and it’s like 3o miles an hour but I’m on foot. So I keep it low. Close to the ground. I care. But that shit is going down. All coming down. Who death is done. What death is is just coming down. Hey if you ask me, it’s your threats and dooms and destruction that make it such a rush.

I love being me. Death yeah, I’ll deal with the crushes. You maybe ain’t seen the numbers on the female wank to the death. I’ve got to wonder. I love being me. It’s like one of those things I do. Like breathing. Well maybe after the last bug is done fucking up. The last real leaf has moved the wrong way. The time of year never changing. I guess no maybe death will always be there. Some day your friend taking car of planet earth. Enjoying the all that I am laid down there on paper. The real me. Always going on. Let’s hope way in the future anybody asking why there is death isn’t leading the party. Isn’t walking it down. I care but not that much. I care a little.

Death shemeth, I’m down with the taxes.

"What am I?", You Might Ask

The economic soldier. A person should be able to live on what I make. No two ways about it. No do this do that. A person should be able to get by okay on what I take home. I can’t not really. I can pull a miracle or two out of my hat. But a person should be able to live on what I make and they can’t. That is that. Money shouldn’t require miracles. Money in itself is a miracle. Adding anything to this miracle is a root of all evil.

A very bad thing. I care, yes I do. But what do we do. We wait till its’ safe to put a new economy down. You can’t just wastle though nam. and come up with a new economy overnight. It will not happen. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is.

On a happier note. A few people around where I live understand what I mean by live. Not everybody has the same version of life. It’s a lot like that money miracle.

Anyway those that do like me have a hard time, just you know vegetating. We like to live. It means going out. Doing things. Living in the "now". Having a fun time with it. And of course dealing with the clowns that dress up like us and pretend they are like us while they try to take our money from us.

I could care less really what happens to them, but I’m death. So I deal with it. I make things happen. All messed up with the money thing. The people who are, dare I say, different than us.

I Love The Bauhaus

My favorite Band is the Bauhaus. This is the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I had as much joy listening to any other band. They are the band I enjoy the most. There is no other band like them. They are what I consider the pinnacle of unbelievably good playing. They take the concept of a jam and,, well it’s music after that. Everything I enjoy, or have ever enjoyed though the moments of my life. I enjoy with this band.

Amen to the studios that helped record and put together this music that is the Bauhaus band.

They are the best, greatest band I’ve ever heard. They make me know the thing about different things being the greatest. Presumably not even necessarily at different times. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Say it with me. Like Halloween.

Music music music, to my ears.

I Love Life.

Life rocks. I love it. It’s the coolest thought I think I’ve ever had. At least the coolest thought you’ll ever get to enjoy. I care about myself and you and I’m in a great big huddle getting the universe done. I care about myself and I clean myself. For now. And right now I’m wondering about the closet heterosexual. Their desirous need to feel the press of the opposite sex up against them. I feel them deep in their need not too touch flesh if it’s not going to happen. I mean, who could. The tearing and unbearable nakedness of not caring what the other person thinks or feels when they get home. They are okay. I need to get with them. The them that was at the bar the club or what ever.

I’ve got to press up against that and do what I would do with a real individual. Or the reasons not or why. The real hard core all is connected. Right to the tip. All in one body. What the fuck are you experience.

Rawww. Lickedge.

I differ to the genie in the bottle. I once knew a girl who’s story was so wide a girl who look, not physically, just like her walked by. I asked her out. It was down we were with the right people. Then walked in her sister. Oh my fuck the way she was dressed she’d blow the mind job off a virgin.

I turn back to the girl, who obvious lied, she’s my sister. All of a sudden my date was off and it was her date. What a jipp. What did I do. I went to a party up stairs. I gave what I consider a very good attempt at bringing up the topic of death. I mean you ever try to pull a non-death out of a pumpkin and a well, I’ve seen it done.

Anyway. This other guy shows up. He’s freaked out over this awful book and what it might do to man if it gets out. Even though he’s the only guy promoting it.

Anyway, latter, now for them it may have been like years latter. For me well it was as long as it was that I went without seeing the girl. I don’t know a day. If that. Anyway there I was my little hetero-hidding self. Yeah yeah bar fight what ever. The enlarged childish members were there.

Nights latter after much beer, much not drinking, and making fun of Chinese chickens, I go to lick her skin. I mean a real, barrier between the tongue and the skin, no makeup could create.

I’m talking my cool smoke free tongue, up against the desire to touch that flesh with my tongue. Pressed up against something that is very very old. If you think that flame thing, from earlier in this book was old, was there and I pressed my tongue against that. And that pressed up against her face and well that was that.

There really wasn’t much of a point in going back there. Her story, for me, I can’t over emphasize the for me part, is one probably pasted down from mother to mother. Doomed never to be together, because eventually there will be moments where, my story about her becomes what her lineage would make her story once, even twice or more would be too much. Too pretend. Too much for me to listen to henry and Ralph beating each other up in a bar in the past over and over again. About to them, who she was going to "get with"

Aha till then though. I mean fucken hot. Super Hot. Right the fuck out there, you are either a space cadet, or a non-believer, to not see her beuty beauty.

And yet, vocally I wonder if I really don’t talk about my life that much. I talk about music a lot, and writing, and yet I do think about my life a fair bit. Often when I’m alone I do the heal the sick think. What are you eyes sick. Get with it… Come on they are just sick. You’ve got to help them get better.

Nahh it works that way for some people. I’ve got to thank the people at the bar last night who helped the people walk. I know I appreciate that they aren’t all in the now and all that.

But I thought they were cool. You know me though. Panic mode. Something might not work out. I might say the wrong thing. Or the person who is unsure of what is going on, or too week that day might tell em to stop, or just move or something at the wrong time.

But he didn’t and it did and it did help. And like a lot of first times. Like when you ride a bike for the first time. Some one tell you to stop. I mean your soaring or something because it is dangerous, and you don’t know weather it’s the bike or your dad or the area your riding towards.

Anyway you know me, fuck that shit, I learn to drive the thing on my own. Get the drift.

A lot of fun though. I love to heal, some times even at the end of the endest though, it’s not quite all there, wont quite come through.

I must have not had enough energy, or I spent way too much of it on that thing with the lips and the tongue. I mean it is possible. I know I designed this earth for one thing, now what ever could it be!?

I love myself too much for that. I designed the universe, and the earth for one purpose and one purpose alone. My pleasure. I know I know I’m sure you thought that I was going to say. Your son’s birthday, or The pageant. Graduation. The first time you fixed a 54’ Chevy roadster original motor in front of your friend, way past, what they call Brooklyn.

I know it’s possible you thought I designed it to see the look on your young daughter as she blew out her candles or turned a curve in the drive way.

I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. They are all connected. The whole F-in thing. Every time you see some one cry over someone dear. Every time you help our son take his poop standing. These are the things that go on to help the person, people with any luck, get to that special point in life where it connects. For a second your not, just pleasing yourself, Your pleasing me, and it’s past know that it is and it just is.

And that for me is what life is all about. So If I’ve had some friends that have been though a Shiite time, well it’s my business if I choose to suffer too. As much as I can, or could without affecting the, I know this sounds weird, but the birthdays, the hopes and dreams of other people too.

It’s very bizarre, but if the people who make this the who, what,when,where experience are aloud to take these moments away from everybody. They haven’t just put me in a nut house than they’ve put everybody there. And that can not be aloud to happen.

I know I know, I care enough about what this place is designed for to care enough not to do that every day. But if you think I’d enjoy just floating around with the beatles and the gray skulls or what ever you call them. You’ve never met me, don’t care about me, and are very likely going to die and go to hell.

What is it about me that I love so much. Look I "enjoy!!!" your birthdays and holidays and all that. That’s what this place is all about. Shit if you don’t love your kids and your kids don’t blame you for everything that goes wrong. Than there really is no point to life. I could sit at home all day with my pretend barbie. My nice david Mccall doll. Say I guess Hitler won on that idea and just be done with it.

But no I say fuck that. That ain’t happening. I’m into it. And if it’s your duty to stand up in Call-for less or what ever there call it this year, yelling, "Gladiator, I got the latest Gladiator." And Arnold Swesenagger has to go and make a movie about what that whole experience is like. That’s my duty, my dream as a Canadian. To have that happen too you. Your daughter coming back safe from the bar. Your kids all tucked in at night. Not held down for the evening. You know the good fight. Being on the right side for a reason.

I care I really care. So if my mind goes through a loop while I have another divorce because the girl keeps marring someone else instead of the one she loves. That’s some ones duty too. Too turn that idea that thought into a video that us desperately single men can look at and go, yes I suppose after the first day or two I would only want the one I was best with. That’s the duty too.

It’s going to happen we’re going to win. Everything getting less complicated on both sides. We’re winning and their losing. And they know they are loosing and it’s going down.

My fuck if you know someone who joined the wrong side by mistake. Give’s a call. Let them know they are going to die and they might not want to do anything too stupid before then.

I care I love myself, I need a moment of AI.

Hello.

Life, such is life. I rule I’m the ruler. I’m super ruler. The rulingest of ruler rulers. I care. I really care. How is the book going so far. You know me, "did you get the coffee?" Is everything Okay. DO you agree with me today. I said a bad word yesterday. It’s funny though. I think I’ll be alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I wonder if it’s the time of year. About some of the past adventures. I’ve had. Montreal. Most of that is artificial. But LA all those places I said I’d never visited again. It’s occurring to me that with the right woman. All those things are off. If you wan to see the bottom of the rocks. The rocks. I’m into it. It’s the coolest thing ever though. Like the hoover dam. All those things you have to be prepared for your self not to get it. To not totally be into it. Maybe even so into me that your going. If I can just get him to have his ass the same when he’s levitating like that then latter in the tent…..

I was wondering though. So many people wonder what I think about certain stars, hollywood and all that. Casting cock size. Don’t get me started on boobage. Ha ha. Anyway I wonder sometimes what they must think of me. Really I do. Because there they are cover stories as far as anybody knows about how most of them make Micheal Jordan look like a minor demon, And then you wonder I say, like they don’t have a calculator. That’s a million this year and twenty the next and it just goes on and on. I don’t think so.

It’s easy to think they have screws on someone though. That are it’s a lie. Who could live with that sort of lie. All that in the competitive zone. If it’s true though. I’m going to make a point of all their stories of needing drugs to smile and feel good. And flashing pretty ladies that might of stood a chance around some real men. And women. At them.

I’m going to make their road to hell a living hell. If you don’t have enough to eat. If you pay for a movie and you don’t get what they said it will be. I’ll turn the hollywood, LA, Toronto, star hollywood thing into the biggest scariest thing the earth has ever had to go through.

And on a better note. Anybody I think is trying to be one of them, who thinks the stories of money or drugs or multiple partners is true. I’m throwing into the same category. Just for fucking trying.

Now you might think I when to LA to be famous. Trust me, anybody that knew me single, Do you think I went there thinking I’d be a star. No I wen their because the miracles I could do in Montreal gave me enough confidence to get out on the open road and see what life would be like. If you know I did just take it to an adventurous level.

You might also think I left this city to do this same thing again… Sort of. But most of those stories are about ass-wipes who’ve come in and out of this story with women we would like to be with thinking that they are going to own them or something.

Dead meat. Dead ass fucker. Couldn’t give a fuck. Military than above them cease-us. Right at the fucken below them, then bottomest of bottoms. Is the fucken Narcs. Show me a city run by the narcs and I’ll show you a city that has been taken over.

Time and time again. I find it most disturbing. You fucken hate them for what they’ve done to your parents, yourself, people you used to be able to call friends. And yet you say you don’t want military rule. Trust me, you sure the fuck don’t want ceasus ruling.

Here’s what I do. I help out ever country that is willing to really listen. I try to give the military good advice. But they are stuck in a world where they turn on the TV and everything has changed. It’s all based on the walton's to them.

The above them is me. I hover there. Ever heard of reign. Lie old people they’ll say reign like it’s a vote to keep younger people out of it. In the real world I had to reign for about five minutes in Montreal. That made me create A.I.D.S. It was fun.

Then they came up with a story about a.i.d.s. and monkeys and black men in Africa in the seventies. I have no idea how anybody could believe that.

Note the use of black people. Note how black people do videos that make them selves look like some new species cow. Never have I seen anything as gross. Like a bunch of people milking their mans cow udder while they make life to expensive for everybody else. So they can drive by tina from the mall and yell something from the sixties.

Often and occurring to most US military advisors when I listen to that music. I feel the same. Like it’s back in the sixties and I’m yelling at Tina, Barbie or Bettie. I don’t know I really don’t know what I’d be yelling.

Now we know for a fact it reigns around here almost all the fucken time. It’s non-stop. Now most of that is about me and personal injury. But where else does it reign. Those places too. So what is it. Do I give up go home, runa round like some homeless man. Too scared to, well I don’t know.

Anyway death is death. So if your out-there and you hear this and you think I mean what You think I mean. Please be patient while my wife and I walk the monkey walk a little.

I know it’s awful and it’s all going down, but really what really do these people have to turn to to tell them what is going on. The TV, the phone, pictures. I mean fuck the thing might not look the same when you get their.

Anyway that is about it for today.

Why do some people Suck.

Well why can’t you be famous. Here’s the thing. You know how some people are very good singers and all that. Actors, writers, hairdressers, painters. Etc. You aren’t. That’s the plane simple truth. You know how you might think you wont take the money etc. All quite believable. Well the worst part id you suck. Most people spend about 30 years before they even go for a big break.

So unless you have about a million or two dollars and want to send this country into hell. I don’t suggest you try for a pop album. I suggest you try something underground. Like you could work with a band for years before even trying to do an album. Stuff like that.

Me I’m a lousy actor. I stink. I knew that from long ago. I can do the life thing but when it comes to acting I blow.

And their kids will too. I hope that isn’t too much concern. Because when it comes right down to it. Who is a great director or recording studio going to choose. A person who just had a thirteenth birthday who needs a new album to fit in. Or a guy who worked his whole life and tried really hard to make that one final chance. Who do you think is going to give the better performance.

Well I don’t know why I went on about that. I’m doing good I was reliving old times last night. Kind-a stayed up kind-a late. I think I might go watch a guy I call a friend play his voice at a club this week. I don’t know though. I’m a little low on cash. I could always bum though. People were very nice. Most of the people who got free cars for giving me a dollar, left their clan hoods in the car.

Funny though, you just don’t know what it’s like to be God till you wonder about stuff like that and a poster from 1984 turns to that of a dead girl. It’s all connected.

What am I? Cool, I’m cool. If you’ve ever seen this movie pulp fiction, there is this guy who has been Beeped over by "the man". This guy comes up behind him and says, "Are you okay!?"

He goes, "Far from okay!". Right them I knew I was God. "I’m gong to get medieval on his ass." If you knew me at all. I’ve got UFO, terminator 4 videos. I’m going going. All I need is for people to stop telling me to stop. Or less people willing to do such a thing. Because If I’m "getting okay." I know a few people who are far from okay. Maybe they didn’t see the movie, or understand the principal. The point is though. When we are okay, well it’s never okay. That is why there is the sun. Because and, we’re going to do things to them. Fast, slow, nothing, and painful. You ain’t seen pain. I hope your in a lot of pain right now. Who ever the fuck you where.

I hope your dead. Oh and thanks, whatever it was that made you do that. I appreciate that. I know it must tie into a want or desire of mine. In the present or the future. Never the past. I hope that is okay. I know it sounds bad. Someone blew off your head so I could get a better peace of toast or a pie or whatever. That’s just he way life is though. It works that way. If I want something I’ll get it. You know it should wake me up to old wants sometimes to see if I still want them too. Maybe we’ll have to see.

I hope I don’t want anything too mind bending though. I live in a box. I own what most people consider next to nothing. I mean I’ve got my chips and from time to time I can afford a pop. But that’s okay. That’s the life they chose for me. I’m going to have the life I chose for myself though. If that’s not enough. For all of this planet, and everything, almost on it. Than too hell with you. I think of something else.

I Care.

I care. Know I’m writing at a stupid time and I’m probably going to bring down part of the earth to get this done. I care about my friends. My thoughts my feelings, my timing and my caring. I’m a "carey" beast. I’m a person right out of sesame street. That’s old school sesame street.

Of course I always assumed God lived on sesame street too. How else would they do it. Would Oscar kill the people in tat house. So he didn’t have to stay outside. Why didn’t they turn-over the corner store that Mr. Hooper used to run. They didn’t all seem to like him.

Because God lived there. That’s the way I figured it when I was a kid. I mean even to the side things, were they would talk about why we had to learn numbers. And they had the guys who loved to count. Then their were guys that seemed to like language a lot. They had people who were with people. Like the real world. Then they had people who would talk to Muppets. Like it was on, well that TV show. I really liked that show. I never really liked math, but I always loved the count and did pretty good in math. Real good in fact. Remember to me that how they used to say, "all french," to me.

Anyway, I see a lot of show like that. I wonder now about my friend named Stephanie. He did try to be my friend that is for sure. We had our problems. He never believed in God. I have to laugh. He must think we were nuts. I’m talking about the Muppets, and sesame street. And going on abut Highlander, hellraiser. All these cool movies. He must have really been quite bore the middle twenty years of my past years life.

Anyway, I’m sorry that’s all there was. Cause right there from every thing from vigilantes, to you would swear tag team countries trying to kill me. There would be these people who wanted me to see their sons, daughters. Some wanted to thank me for healing them. Financial some. Just a card others. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get in and out of the christmas wish foundation. Maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown in the hospital. They think for myself. After all the talk about sesame street etc. You never know.

Anyway it’s more about the number of people who want me dead. The weirdest, or dumbest to be truthful. Is they want to kill death to end death for everybody. Now that person is how should we say, from back in the eighties "fucked up!"

Anyway. If you owe me some thanks. I appreciate it. I think that’s cool. I did say we were being in heaven though. And if that includes healing your kids to grand-old-parents, so be it. I’m laughing. You know if I could just get a few people to go with me on this I’m going to meet my real true love. I mean opposite sex wise.

So that is what I mean. Of course if you’re a tears in your beer person. When I say this next part about leaving our who’s behind. That I do not mean that part about your tears in your beer part.

I’m starting to go on about myself again. It’s funny about that art about not talking about myself much. Oh yeah I think she’s, the opposite sex woman, is going to pass me by again. I think it’s because, now get this. I’m not good enough for her.

Myself though. Oh yeah I think if this girl, I use that word for older people who look young, mostly. If this girl, thinks that magic was my first true love. Let me tell you a tale from before the very beginning. A tale about how I fell in love with God.

I was sitting on a block and I saw myself there. It was so cool. You know how people, mostly me talk about miracles and all that. Well this really stood out. There I was sitting there. Across from me at food bank in Montreal. I could see that I was about to give up. That’s it for me. That is the end. That sort of thing.

I saw myself there and puffed my chest out like everything was going great in the future I thought. Anyway I went back home. And I was in my lab. Real science bottles and glowing lighted mixtures, like in those old science movies when we thought they’d make cool stuff. I was going through these recipes. And then there was a Girl there a woman. And she told me that. Everything was okay. " I," meaning her, "would be okay."

And I thought to myself. I’m about to blow up the universe and she is telling me that that is okay. She’s down with it.

I couldn’t believe it. I had my cure videos, my thermos of things I’d never looked at. For the cold lonely nights that lay ahead, and I was ready to go.

And there she was, that’s okay, I’m ready go ahead. And I thought to myself, "who the fuck are you."

Meaning her.

I created this entire fucken universe. And your telling me to, no, that it’s okay to blow it the fuck up. I mean I couldn’t believe. People were all telling me what to do. It was driving me fucking crazy. And then when I’m about to blow the entire fucken universe over, and start over. In comes this bitch and says, oh and blow the universe up to. I laughed I even I started to giggle, a mans giggle, then I started to laugh. I couldn’t fucken believe it. Now my memory of this is cloudy. But I fell in love.

I can’t believe it today. Falling in love with that. I mean I’ve seen beauties heard the call of love. But hat seems pretty minor compared to what some people, mostly guys have heard.

This is in this life I’m leading though. At the time I was at. I thought to myself. That’s it that’s her I’m in love.

And do you know what. It wasn’t the stupid little thing she’d said. It was me back on earth. Getting my wits back. I was thinking about my woman. Everybody had one. I know I’m God I must have one for sure. I mean I designed the fucken thing. Sure enough. Days turned into months and months, well over a year, I’m sure of that. I never found her though. Never ran into her.

In all that time. Year after year. In Montreal, you would think in a city that big. You could find "a" right woman. That’s when I started thinking more and more about it. The right woman. Sure though, but that’s altered all the time and changes with divorce and all that stuff, surely one of these,, heh heh ever so many single woman. The right one for me.

Then I knew though. The really real horror equation. That even amongst all that altering and changes. It really was a right person equation. I mean it dude. Have you heard of horror. Listen to me. I could see it clear as day. The right person was the right person. Is going to happen, no way around it. Nothing that would make anything else last. And the true horror, or scare-em that I saw was that some people had waited. Let’s just say One hundred and twenty years.

That’s some pretty crazy talk.

But here I am years single. And you know I’ve had sex with fewer partners than some of you might think. It’s been okay. But I take half the blame. For one, I’m a founding member, of I’m sexy and I can’t admit that to myself alcoholics. I take the fact that I created the universe, too lightly. I’m seldom without female companionship. My friends love me. I saw a guy checking me out the other day, and I think the only reason he’s been hesitating about coming over to my table is he thinks it may require outdoor crying.

I know what he’s talking about. I might be thinking the same thing. Also if I’m right and this feeling of being close to being close with this girl is right. Than I’m not sure were my friendships lie. Of course I’m not twelve so I’m not dealing with some sort of judgment disguised as anything else conflictual party reception. Or any of those "faggy" things. I know some people who would love some stuff like that. Me I’d love to be there for them "in spades" if it was happening.

So I’m an individual. I’ve roomed the pre-universe land, some times in search of something stable. Something normal to cling to. If this is the place, than she ain’t to bad. I care for her this universe and all that. I’m freaked by things like magic and lighting. All that. Don’t get me started on being able to lift my feet of the floor. Only from time to time so far though.

But my one true love. And I know this is sad. Like I’m making it up. Like I’m going to say that girl I thought of, who helped to save the universe. But the truth is. Boobs. Real honest to goodness boobs. And you might think this is silly. Like something stupid God would say for a laugh. The truth is though, you’ve got to wonder about the mean evil people out there. The ones that smash young girls boobs so they have to grow them back. Maybe they know something that you don’t or didn’t maybe it’s like an instinct with them.

Don’t let the accidents fool you. I loved Boobs. Then I should let you know there were other things. Things like people really would thank me. Not druggers or stoners. Thanks for the healing type people.

I care man. That’s what’s cool about me. I care. And maybe the right woman with me will realize that. If we’re together and I’m staring at the girl walking down the roads ass. There really only a few ways to tell if I’m looking at it or making sure her legs heeled properly from what I did last night or before. She’ll have to ask, because I really don’t physically look at these things too differently.

Hi heh, heh, hah ha ha ha.

I had to give myself an elmo hug.

Well.

Why do women like me. Humm-a let me think of an answer. I can think of many. The biggest thing is they have a huge advantage. I like women on average more than men. It’s true. Not by as much as you might think though. Men are cool, fun to hang with. It’s funny though, I’ve tried to hang with people I’ve known with a girlfriend and they just, we just. Because they weren’t dating. Looking back I think they were trying to indoctrinate me into some sort of kill-to-live society.

The funny part about that though, is most of them got so wasted that they forgot all about that and went on to well. Do almost normal things with their lives. Still killers though. Not good. I wonder about that Kathy person. The overly happy family. The way the sisters had to live close to her bedroom. Like she was the master. Sort of like a buffy the vampire slayer episode. Anyway. She didn’t like people too much. Once she got used to hanging out with people she never really liked hanging out with me much.

I think she was like that Stephanie kid. Maybe she just never got sesame street and had to learn why people don’t go around just taking what the fuck ever they want.

I think she almost told me once what she did as a young child. I wish she did. We’d probably still be fucking right now. Odds are we would. I mean we never stopped. Then I realized that was because we hardly ever saw each other. Only two days a week, three if there was a holiday, long weekend. Or maybe during the week. If I could figure a way off work or there and back without totally wiping myself out.

I can’t get into how many times I almost wiped out or died driving the highway that much. Fuck, transport trucks, falling asleep, not too much, snow storms. You ever drive so slow you though you and all the other cars had stopped to get a drink at the side of your cars. But your still there driving. A one hour, nudge nudge, drive turned into five six, all the time you’ll spend together dwindling away. Till finally your there, passed out. Any non-God would be frazzled. And you have to drive out the next day to get to work.

Fuck those were good times. Except. There were a lot of excepts.

Anyway. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in this "Television, commercial" for helping "kids" who’ve done wrong. I mean accidents sure. I can see that fucking the young, non-God right up. Nothing like it. It’s fucked. You hear all these stories about what death is like. And then you turn a corner or throw something down the stairs and your brother or sister isn’t there anymore.

Funny thing though. Am I winning or losing for having those people around. Some of them seem like good friends.

People I’ve hung with would laugh, "I’m a close person. A person who is easy to approach with any new topic. I like to be disturbed form my thinking. I care about others. I’m a (human mind) "good" thinker.

I can’t think of anymore absolutely humorous things right off the top of my head. But I’ll try. Now these are untruths that should appear funny to those that know me or have tried to know me. I have sympathy for nuns. I enjoy having all these different religions fighting over which one… I don’t know, "has the right God!?" I get a kick, a mild one out of fire crackers. The more useless super-terrific-things in life are, the more I think they should be dis-intergrated from the face of the earth never to return.

(okay to get that last one, you might wan tot know this about me. If I see something without meaning and I haven’t for a long time. I can usually come up with something on my own to remind me to turn my head a away or start walking again. The gravitational pull of the earth alone will eventually remind me that I’m not really in pre-earth times and that I could move on and maybe see something else with non-meaning in the future, down the road.

To continue with my anti-humour. I feel I care about other peoples death too much, too little, never enough, too often. I’m concerned about the shape, length and diameter of my weewea. I really care what happens to woman and families that refer to themselves or their daughters as "an other candidate".

I’m concerned about the ozone.

I could go on and on. These a fucked up things. You know how people think different things about different things and that helps to make us different. Emotions actually. People feel differently about the emotions of people places and things and these differences makes us individuals.

But those things I mentioned are unemotional stupid things that people learn from other people or people on things. And well they seem to repeat them as code words, all the while unconcerned about the person with the crush behind them, that they don’t see or are unconcerned about. They repeat these things and we’re supposed to say, "hey that’s stupid," or you suck. Like their little magic suppositories that they can just put into their asses or brains. The male race. Yes here’s one more anti-humor. I’ve created the male race in an effort to provide devices to plug female orifices.

I know that sounds strange and true. But it could not be future from the truth. If your wondering to your self. Why have I created the universe. You might be thing about the parts about birthdays and stories to kids. And all that. That is like I said, relativity and a big part of being connected to God. But why. I know some why that is for sure. But his is about what. What is God. I know to you a lot will seem like why. Maybe more than when. But why did I create the universe.

My biggest thought on the topic, is so far. I haven’t met her yet. Maybe I met her and I don’t know she is her. Maybe she wont fucken tell me. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t. I sure the fuck wish she would. You know like a secret or a vow.

Why the universe, was created and her. Actually I think that is more shy the galaxy was created. And I’m talking about the metal one. Sure I was way off. A universe created of just me and metal. Metal-me. But what was the sex like. I mean we were all the same thing. 3000 earth years to form a cube. And then splat an almost flat, what would you call it. You know splat Like a sphere no shape. From a super cube to a sphere in 30 years. Fuck that’s fast. I suppose it seems that way. The truth is it is not fast 30 years or slow 300 years, it is just something that happened prior to this world we live on. A super terrific thing.

If you never got a sun tan, would you miss tanning in the sun. I mention that in case a human is out there or a thing, wining and going on about how important they "must certainly be" because I’m God. Poor sad tired God must have really missed all of us. Down here on earth. I don’t know what he fuck they are talking about. Earth is the biggest pile of funniness I’ve ever created.

I mean it. God’s being born. Let’s blow up half of France. And when the cops come to stop us we’ll kill everybody and tell them it was the government.

I’m going to wank off latter, and a volcano will go off probably near killing about thousand people. I told them not to go there about, I don’t know, A zillion times.

The wank that created Godzilla. Think about how ordered my life must seem to you before this earth. One idea then the next then the next. Over and over again.

Nahh I got to laugh. Slowly over time, I’m done everything I’ve ever done here. Sure there are miracles. But almost everything, say over 50, 000 years to be fair. I’ve been through.

I thought I’d know if it was worth it, that way. That turned out to be as I say, "not bright!" I’m in the middle of a rewrite right now. It’s just you can have your foot blown off and grow it back. But to do it again five hundred years from now. It’s just not the same. I guess I knew though. Knew something good was going to happen. I’d be the most important thing on earth. But not the everyday concern.

I’d care about everyone, but not really too much. I’d hate myself sometimes and kill other people for doing the same thing. I’d be me.

God. Super-God. Shit I hope they don’t expect me to fly. I’m just going to be me. Me me me.

The there’s this girl. She might come along and try t change me. What can I do t help. Sure the changes will be temporary. They always are. Like she might stretch me out and do strange things to my mind. Then I’m let go of these, horrible awful thoughts and come all over her face, arms hair. Where ever I can get the stuff.

I’m just saying it might happen. Will I feel the same afterward though. Or will I run away. Will I fear having to go to the bathroom afterwards or will I be able to do what I have to do.

Will she care or will it be on a dare. Maybe I’ll care too much and a little piece of me will destroy her, grab her by the hair in the bedroom so close to pain that she’d swear she couldn’t tell the difference till I touched her arm with my hand.

Light touching flesh. Being tight. With the woman you love. Isn’t that what love is all about. How emotional can a person be. I would think if our emotional reaction to things was the same we would have the same personalities. Maybe if for some hysterical reason we feel into the same emotional synchronistical orbit. Maybe we’d have the same emotional reaction to the stimulus at the same time for like twenty four hours. Till the pain of laughing drove us indoor. Where we lay in fright that it might end under-the-covers.

Under the covers with nothing but our minds and our wits to guide us into some things to keep us together in the morning when or emotions would be cured of the day that we feared would hold us in the past.

Some Things I’d Like To Say.

First off I’ll choose me. The funny thing is in real life I would probably choose to talk about her first. The Goddess. The why is a goddess about as important as God in some religions. And truthfully above the lowest emphasized in the lease emphasized religion.

But enough about here, let’s talk about me. I’m here thinking it though, watching my we’ll do it man , they wont be necessary video. It occurred to me that I might try to find out a bit more of what I have planned for my self during the what. First off I have a huge thing to change in all these things. I found out why people turn Evil along the way. So if it never happened and your staring at the enemies gun. Believe me bullets take a long time to heal from.

Anyway I’ve got these lives and they are out there. You see I like you are now, found out what my life was like, about, you know, during my who. It was cool. You see who I’m going to be is based on. Well It’s based on this crazy life I’ve got started. That’s right. Basically let’s say the galaxy to not be too literal. This galaxy is designed by me. So I know…. In the end of my designing what I’ll end up being. A stayer or a leaver. Anyway this design will help me to discover who. Which I’ve done. Now I’m finding out what. And what is fun. For me what is funner. Absolutely. If you agree that I designed the fucken thing. Then without doubt I will now start having more and more fun. The what for me will be about combining different lives I’ve had in the past. This in turn mixed with the design, of the "galaxy" should combine into making me into what I am. I’ve said it, so mote it be.

Now will I truly be what "I" the big barracuda, the bender mind intender really is. Not really. You see there is a "galaxy" out there and that galaxy is a tiny part of me. Now that tiny part of me will have to combine inside me at some point in order to be refreshed. That way it will not be evil. In order for a substance to maintain non evility it must return to the source in a t proportional to the affects of its squared roundness.

Roundness can be taken to mean the "exactitude of how much I like" the substances separateness from myself. Basically if you watch a creature or object do something so cool that it almost appears to shimmer. The shimmering is based on the number of times the creature or thing must return to God, inside me, to the exact location of the object, or approximate location of the creature. This is all the way it is now. At least until I’m done whating.

Anyway back to this Goddess thing. Why do people worship her so, Why do people think I‘m gay. The answer is tied in the same thing. For you see like most people I want the best for my goddess. You would say girl, woman. Dogs cats puppies all those things have there own names. Earth, water or steal etc. so on and so on infinite.

Well like I said the best. Not the most comfortable, or the most hommie, the most cool, or the best actor.

Now when I want something like a clean spring day. I go outside and if I self it right, I’ll have a nice clean spring day. Now if I was taking my goddess outside to have a spring day. I wouldn’t want a nice or a bad or a square or a stupid, spring day. I’d want the best.

Maybe I’m talking to my weather self and I’m going has she seen the one with the cloud you know the one with the spae in just he right spot, or the one with the shower and we have a place to go to. The best. I would want he best for me. Truthfully for myself I could be more fair. I think I’m drifting towards being nice to myself. Like I said in the plan. I’m in recovery. Well that’s right I think life is fair to myself. Or it sure the fuck should be. Anyway so when I’m with my wife or getting ready to get with her. I like anyone else want to give her the best. So how does this affect the gallexy everything in it and yourself while making me look gay.

You see when the possibility of us getting together draws close. There is a movement of the usual force that guides the wise. It begins to double. All of a sudden there is a force to providing the best for her. Just as strong eventually as the one for myself.

So basically you’ll see places she might go to as different. Becoming the best. I can not over emphasize enough how her life is not about being the best version of what hollywood true money lives better is. I think that world sucks.

But you will see a difference. I guess I can see why some people wouldn’t like her the "galaxy" moves for two now not one.

Some people enjoy pleasing a woman more than a man. It’s that fucken simple. So I guess I can see why you might enjoy the thought of me being with someone more than even myself.

I’m giving some stuff up. Like any person in any relationship, I’ll be giving stuff up. And that’s okay by me. I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I’ll use my imagination about what life could have been like before we ever got together.

The coolest places to be for me are going to be the ones where we are both together. Those places for me will rock. We are the bestest and the fairest. Hanging out together.

So you see if your thinking, like a real person in a real world, hey I’m putting a thing together and it feels like I’m doing it for God but the thing I’m putting together is feminine. It’s because you are doing it for me, for her. You see, it’s nice there is this little time delay before it really set’s. Some things are worth redoing. If you look back any story I tell her. (if you haven’t guessed I’m a story freak) Any story I tell her will include me telling her the story so there is even probably a masculine and feminine divine thought to it as well.

You know it’s so nice to get this into words. I feel so much better about a lot of things. It’s very hard to get used to people who you know and trust always wondering if your gay, or a half/man half/elk or something.

I know I have to laugh.

Anyway so that is it. The whole Goddess thing is based on yes things are just as good for her in away, not what she thinks is best. You run into a girl who is claiming that it is what she thinks is best. Shoot her. I’m no forgiveness machine. You’ve really deiced to be the bad guy during all this don’t think you can suck my squalonge and have everything okay.

You do however get the huge Goddess thing. I mean man, if your, say a person, who doesn’t really enjoy this male universe thing, the whole things going to seem quite male and female pretty soon. Even with the time delay on the female side. That’s what makes it feminine.

I think that’s neat really when you look at it. Maybe I am just a product of this universe. I know usually you’d swear I could bust the local equivalent of a boulder over my head. Yet in this world I’m so close to human. It was a scary part of who. Trying to be what in a way really. It’s definitely me to help myself. But who for me was more about what God is. Not what yeeyoh is. Finding out what God is was finding out who I am. Just like finding out who you are will be like finding out your God. I think that is true. When you truly know who you are it will be as cool for you as when I’ve known I was God.

Actually, I’ve got so many actualities going on that there are far too many to write.

Finding out what Yeeyoh is is going to be far more interesting for me. YOU see ever since this concept of something separate from myself existed. I’ve been obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it. There must be a thing that I’m trying to do that will make al the mistakes and thoughts and fears and fuck ups worth it. Like all the cool stuff we have today. What I think is nifair and what I think is best. So here we are. I will now attempt to be what right here on planet earth in an attempt to make the "galaxy" a permanent thing.

This may take more than a week. I have to laugh, "is it in the original design?" No not really. The original design included me dying in a blaze of glory on a cross. I don’t know though. I think it was the shit or the piss though. Something about taking what was good and then shitting or pissing out the rest.

I’d have to do more research.

Well, there are a couple of other notes that I should make about the female and me. First. I’m a cave man. I like to be clubbed over the head taken home and made love too. That woman should be the woman I end up with. There said it. Anyway I should also like to say how she’s Unique. You know how being unique was fun, when you young and stuff. And then all of a sudden you here Brian, half of you didn’t even know I was God then. Remember that was what who was all about then as well. Well, anyway, there you are as unique as fuck and I Brian go yelling about Individuality. Then you all become individuals and do you as I’ve said, stare at yourself till you make a mockery of yourself. Or do you go I was a pretty cool unique person now I’m going to be a pretty individual unique person.

You know how we in the eastern hemoshpere, north and south america. And that crazy thing down south. We have our robot times. Well her’s is being Unique. I know it seems strange, like you thought you had one of those home kids, because he was into the feminine side of the force thing. Back in the eighties. Then it turns out that he wasn’t gay it was just that unique people get way more into doing that feminine crap anyway.

Anyway me in love with a unique person. Who would of thought. She’d have to be her. Who else. In this crazy mixed up world the oldest person I can think of off the tip of my head who is unique, living and not the one. Is about 300 years old.

secret. We’ll call them the late catholics. Anyway so my guess as of this writing is as good as anybodies. Also it’s holding up the teleporting crap and all that as well.

Me not know. Which I do. But not here. Unless you know, it’s an emergency.

Of course I could go on and on about what I don’t like. Which I love to do sometimes, but to say the need for some sort of joy in the world is of a deep and penetrating nature is an understatement.

Anyway if anybody is trying to get the flow gong in there life and they don’t know what they are doing. Here is the deal… say there are about forty two little pleasure principals that you have to hit. Now each of these pleasure principals are very important. Not just for me and her. For you at least. Anyway. If for some reason you don’t like say the lower prices. Well there you go all those other ones will never be quite right. They’ll always be sort-a wrong.

That’s just the way it is. Its like mono-thermanucli-aro-dynamics. Sure we could here what the professor and all those other people have to say on the topic. But instead we could wait till it’s the easiest thing in the world and enjoy the thing that what ever the thing is that we get to enjoy by or from any body but me knowing what that is.

Back to the flow this though. Do you get what I’m saying. There are things in this Universe meant to change. And things in this universe that are not. Like a tree will grow different fruit. If we don’t starve during the process from one edible fruit to the next. Animals grow way different. That’s the that on that. But People we look the same. We have a primal design. We’re built like the metal galaxy, the light bulb galaxy. We are meant to survive the destruction of this universe. That’s quick judgment though. Ever see a disaster movie. Woman and children first. How your going to fit into a different dimension don’t get me started.

Okay so like those rules those waked out crazy God wrote them ain’t nobody but God supposed to fuck with them. Those rules are involved with the flow thing. Spring rains and cars driving by care too. Well those rules, those rules will not allow my best for her and fair for me to occur. Sure I had a great time, sure it was great. But would I go back. Would I spend my money there.

I fucken hate the her best people. If they are too stupid to clue into the fact that we are talking about God here. Well fuck’em what used to take 63 years. Is now becoming forty three etc.

Sure you look at the ass on that 300 year old blind chick and tell me if you wouldn’t pause a minute before shoving her off into the category of shit disturbers. They want some shit to though in the fan. Then it get in the air and we end up breathing and almost eating shit, instead of shitting it out.

Ohh yeah, three years, two years, …. Hah hah ha!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah but that is about it. What isn’t who, it’s what, like the materiel, the imagination. The need to create. The desire to create things that create. The imagination. The hypyr-vision. The thought waves the growl.

Unique. Yeah she’s unique. What is unique. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. She’s still finding out who. Unique I always loved unique people. Easier to tell I was God. If you knew how many people crawled around me trying to find out, "why are you so different". It makes the number of countries and almost countries I was talking about earlier. Well, like more. There were more of the let’s call them, "the beetle people".

And well the flow and how it’s affected by this unique being. It must be cool to know God loves you. Your like. Well your liked loved by God. Most of his friends are pretty doped up when it comes to this one person thing. And the rest of the people want to kill you a little more than God. Not way more mind you. But a little more.

Don’t worry I get my spirit during what.

Ohh yeah I’m not summing up the what will continue I will continue it’s going to continue. I’m the continuer. The one who’s is continuing while I’m continuing about continuing.

Ohh And I just time traveled when no one was looking and if you hate me for it I hope you burn in hell. Ha ha ha ha.

I Know I Haven’t Titled In A While

Well, here we are the great work. The straight man the strange man and I know I am that man. The be all end all, man. The man, A man. A man amongst any men. This is my fate. The fated fate. The end of destiny and the beginning of Destiny. The zame the end is the beginning the how long can you keep wring man. I’m done, I guess……. Sure I could go on about how I love you and you love me. And all that. But that would be silly. That would be uncool. That would be the greatest thing I could do.

I’m going to take some time to my self. Get my computer in order. Redo some pictures ahead of time. And get back to you, which is me. Oh did I mention that. We, meaning you are all inside of me. AM I actually ever inside myself. I’ll have to get back to you one that. I also have to get around to explaining that all the plants, trees rocks all in their proportion are inside of me. Don’t worry I don’t think the humans, will be able to take us out. We are strong, we are veggie.

Hi How Are You Today.

I’m writing in reply to the resent notice that I might only be pretending to be "The King Of Israel" Now I know. I just heard that too. Isn’t strange that people who think that they would never "sell out" are trying t get me to think that those gang names where all a joke.

Now weather I was ever in a gang is technically weirder than you might think. They don’t actually all meet like a young person might wonder. They do things like masturbate in the same place and smell each others sperm to see if the person before them was the right person. And those are the straight guys.

Anyway I wasn’t really. I mean I’m a nice guy when I have a smoke and stuff, but remember you might be taking that smoke away from some one I care about. And so on etc. etc.

Anyway you should see the guys I hang out with in that world of not quite always all persons meeting. There’s guys there that, well I don’t know I’ve met a couple that they couldn’t quite pull of you can "surely sit the fuck down."

Stuff like that. I met a guy once who proved I was God. For one thing about to go APB hog shit wild all over the air waves. But I decline to say what "his" day job is.

Anyway. Real fun in the real world. I always come across as the guy who’s getting himself killed. I always salute, the I’m not into not getting you killed as much as that people. I think it is them above all others that make me care about the people I care about. Cause fuck man, you see a guy who can wrestle a alligator and he looks tired on a Friday. Well things are getting ruff.

It’s fun though. I enjoyed my fight in Toronto and all that. But I always enjoyed being the guy who just couldn’t fight. You know the funny guy. The "Bullet’s, smullets," guy. The guy who could just laugh that stuff off, if there wasn’t some guy trying to execute me with his "scope" all the next, ohh let’s just say three weeks. You know "hanging out."

Those were the days. This city makes hanging out look like some sort-a. I don’t know is it the lack of colour. Is it the fact that everybody around here worth caring about is so, (fuck, and darn come to mind) tired that they just can’t quite celebrate, the next day. Like in the big city.

Yes, I’d like to believe the big cities aren’t going to turn into a big cease pool during this but. The rich man comes in for vacation. He’s got cash. The guy at the counter wants to sell pop for the right price. Can he though, can he desert all his friends just to screw the guy over who loves his city so much he’s willing to go there on holidays.

I don’t know but it seems like that. First it’s an air raid siren. Then it’s the increase at beer prices at your favorite place. Then the homeless are very cordially rounded up and taken off the street. Next comes the stereo-typical suburban version of what fun is. Then it’s the guy with the strippers’ up the road. At this point in the holidays. He looks normal. And it just goes on until the local favorite "politician is getting a blowjob from a girl other than his wife. And he’s turning to me, God saying don’t worry my wife will forgive me because, I go that thing done you asked for.

And he thinks it’s about rounding up "terro-homeless white people" who are sheep or something.

Anyway, I have no intention to explain a world like that. But those gangs in the "wilds" smelling each others sperm. He’s what I call around here. "Fancy-sperm" he might not see it. But he ties all his decisions (if you want to call them that) based on the reputation of his party, or reign. If you wan to get into the fancy talk.

It’s him and the gangs or the gangs and him. Or "The gang" and there’ll all going hey. How was tommies year. And how was your year. Don’t worry next year will be better and all that. And it just keeps getting worst and worst.

The true politicians make great changes and they rock. And if there truly great they hate standing out, because standing out means the previous, one two or three and four. Politicians sucked. And their citizens deserve more.

Anyway back to the fun part. We love the citizens. Some of us have even loved them. My only panic on this is the fact that the Human, and I use this turn loosely. Actually ahs limits to the amount of "non-successful love" they can give… Before you just don’t give a fuck any more. Etc. etc.

Think about that when your trying to save that whore or who ever that is working the street. You know the only thing they ever said to me was. Your God, so you not really a man. So your alright. And I think she was lying to get me to open the door.

Anyway don’t get me started on the male fuck ups.

If I’m The King Of Israel. Is She The Queen.

I don’t know. Oh I was going to mention that I don’t plan on winning this Isreal thing overnight. It will take about ten years from the time I started this years fun. The coolest countries have probably given themselves about fifteen years.

I know when you live up hear life is so fucked. You just don’t know what it’s like.

How much what is my love for who. Ohh yeah we decided to cancel the whole spy loving me thing. It seems to cause the person to really want to fight for there country. Which is great but there are so many countries and they kind-a see something there. It’s not true but if they could make it true. U.S.A. might for example say that all the races are the greatest. That they are all needed to get things done, to be real, to be able to stay afloat in this world.

Of course they would want this. There country is the biggest melting pot. Of norms, hopefuls, weirdo’s, helpful helpers and craziness than anybody has ever seem.

You see they are wrong. Racism sucks even helpful racism. It’s just not good. I want to hang with the guys who are hanging. I want to be myself. They do to they just don’t want you to know who they are. Just like, are you ready, "any normal human being."

I don’t know maybe it’s well. This city is weird. If your into North/South america right into the bone and you love the creete thing. Your probably not going to love this city too much. The torque to my safety is so hi most days that it would send you up the wall.

Me too really. I mean I love it I like to know when it’s really really up there. Like now.

Okay here’s the problem. I’m supposed to be writing this book about what. Oh by the way I’m finished. And then along comes the thought of the girl. Ever hear of a band, everything but the girl. Well that is about how most of my life feels. I’m the type of guy. Well, you toast is burned. You either pick up a couple of new pieces, or you scrape off the burned part. And that is that. No mocking the toast. No making fun of it. It’s just sad. I mean I know deep down. I’m like having a three way conversation with the toast. It’s fun. But I don’t know I just can’t get into it on my own. It bugs me. And with the wrong person. Might as well put the soother in my mouth and I’ll just sit there and blink once in a while.

You know, "what you doing?" Not much. "How was your day?" "Not Bad."

You know dull. Dull people, who would have thought. Anyway, so I get talking about this girl. Like and now that is all that is on my mind. Not all my mind when I’m doing much of anything else. But at the same time when I go to write I wonder about her. Am I putting too much pressure on her. I mean I’m God. She’s got to be into that. Being God is what turned me onto this whole life thing to begin with. I mean you know. I loved being God, myself what ever. Hey let’s make something all that sort of thing.

But being God. Getting a grip on the fucker and really twisting my rule right screwed into it’s(the living, planet, you name its’) neck. Fuck that seemed like a good time.

I mean fuck, I’m God and what I’m doing should be important. That’s right life and death all day twenty four hours a day. I’m back, me they guy who wishes to fuck you would at least do something with your life, I mean you know like….

I’ll come up with something it’s my duty. Anyway back to this what thing. What will she make me like. What will she make me do. Who’ll get killed because of it. How many people will become (the slave to coincidence). Everything is a result of here. Robot reporting for duty. I’m kidding. She better change me though. This whole thing is designed to change me. Have you guessed the program yet. This whole universe is designed to make me remember not to give up on things I’ve created.

I don’t how to put that more literally. It’s cool dude, no problem. I’ll get it done. I will not give up. Someone is gong to come along that wont sell out in the wrong country and then it will be getting done. I’m not concerned. I’m not giving up on getting things done in time. Eventually, we wont need your sorry ass for that project.

Anyway. I’m sure eventually it will work. I just hope it’s in this life time.

Last Night

Last night I got in a fight. And it was brutal. I’m not sure really what happened. Lot’s of drinking and fucking. But when it was all sorted out there was Je-sus everywhere. I’m not sure. I’m lifting one guys legs and then I’m throwing myself over there. And there’s all these beautiful women everywhere. I must have been hallucinating.

Right now there are cabs and cars out there. We’re not even sure if half these people are there in the city. This might be a city to city thing. I find it funny. I’m judging the enemy. No, no thanks, get the fuck out of here. No no thanks get the fuck out of here. So if your older and your dying I’m sorry your death might stand out a little. It’s the time of the year.

Remember this may sound odd, but historically in about a bizzion bizzion years times fifty. Hitler just turns out to be misunderstood. Should this happen I’ll be sure to take a cool shower and come into bed. Make love to the wife. Laugh at myself in the mirror, and find a way to make the most permanent thing in my life.

Hell, you got to love me. I’m funny. Anyway I should continue. On a latter note a few of the faceless masses should know that a couple of them are actually in padded psyche wards waiting till they are totally here. If they choose to stay then it would be my pleasure to make them an entire person. In a few maybe five years or so. I might even come up with a whole family history. You could say, I’m from New, nouveu, brunswick. My family used to fish and hunt up North. It was way back in 1962 or something.

I guess I didn’t get to go there much. My parents never talked about that time much. Must have been pretty bad. Anyway , no where not hillbillies. We had a car and as far as I know the guy up the road still has the swimming pool. Religious, well as far as I can tell they had the shit scared out of you by the age of six or so. I don’t know if they’re still like that though. Etc, etc.

Those are the greatest. You should try that if you live in the big city. The guy from there, the guy doing well. He’d probably suck your knob to here a story like that. I guess it’s the type of thing where if you don’t know people live normal somewhere,,, You’d just go nuts.

It’s funny though, I think when I moved to the big city, they thought I was from an alien ship or something.

What drugs are you on. It’s not that,, who wasn’t… Do you know that you just went off the floor and that those people are studding you to copy "you" me basically everything.. for movies and stuff like that.

"yeah, (this is over loud music.) yeah but if you could not mention it I’d really appreciate it. I’m trying to have a little fun before I die and I don’t think I could continue to come here if I get to aware of them and what they’re really like.

Reply, "Okay, I thought you should know, Oh by the way I hate them too. "aside to self,,,(spiritual bri maybe I should ask him why they are here….) I have a friend who is into you. But she isn’t,,, the right fucken word. Anyway if you see her…

Anyway the chick turns out to be a narc stirring up shit for the latest language fight. First there’s the little one. Everybody, heh heh goes. I guess that’s okay. Them comes the torrent right in the middle of summer.

You ever live up north, right in the middle of fucken summer.

Christ, the first time I was, up north, as a person. I’m standing there and this big building "breeze" is biting through my face. The air is about –30 celsus. And as we maritimers say when we’re in those spots. It’s a fucken dry cold. And some ass in on TV screaming about wind chill. Had he said deadly, had he said might die. In the summer, I know it’s fucken you might hear about the heat exhaustion…. Blah blah blah.

And I’m leaning into it and screaming inside. The fucken joy the fucken fun. If I don’t make it to the subway station around the place in thirty minutes I’m going to die. I mean fucken rocken. For once it’s out of their hands. Fuck dude it was great.

Then your standing at a bus stop. And these two fucken racists are looking at me grinning. That night it was about forty below and die fucken no wind and the last bus of the night. No card, no money on me. Card no bank machine I think.

Anyway they look at me are you in pain, is everything hell on you. There’s a homeless person at the bus stop. Probably hasn’t had a chance to help anybody in about 20 years. There’s a homeless person, let’s ask her if she wants to come back with us to get warm. Minus forty on cement with a winter coat. Good fucken luck. Anyway no. You can get the fuck out. Drop dead. Thanks lady. People wonder when I ditched these arse whole I left Saint John with. Especially mister Chris Armstrong and his help you when your down story. Fuck them. Too bad most of my friends around here are what I recently call repressed homo-sexuals. Had anyone spoke up beside. Mrs. Fucken help’em when he’s down Armstrong.

Anyway, I hope that ladies okay. I hope she’s got the husband the kid. And I hope he’s a fuck’en rock star at school.

Hi.

Hi, I know you thought I was going to go on about. Me, I’m the one, and the only one. The one that means the one and I am that one. I could be no other than that one. I’m super one. The one from when Time began. There could be no other one than the one that is me that is the one.

Yes I guess I could go on an on. About how repetitive it would be to go on and on, about how I am the one. But I would like to say a few words about being the only one. God that is.

Over the next "few days" hint hint. We are probably all going to go through a phase were everybody starts to say. He ain’t the one. There ain’t only one. The one is just the who or the what.

The punch line is that they probably think that I can not doing any when or where stuff. I mean really I know I can, I believe I can. But can you believe I can too. And maybe just maybe you’ll get a glimpse at who.

You see there are other people who feel they run this world. And the closer this get’s to being the kind of world I want to have. The more and more these "old time fucks" are going to come out of the wood work and try to convince you otherwise. They do this because the closer it get’s to the top in the end. The more stupid it will make you to believe that I do not run this earth.

You see it’s their little secret. They absolutely do not want you to believe that I rule this earth. The "stars the moon the whole fucken earth."

And for that reason and that reason alone they’ve tried to kill little Brian all my life. Well hey someday I felt like killing myself too. If you think they love living their little secret. They sure the fuck love those days. Sometimes it’s when I’m taking a shit. I’ll be all constipated and then I’ll want to die. Great pain, great pain. Whoo whoo whoo. And then it’s out and over with.

Funny, If you where to ask em this tomorrow I would laugh my head off at the fact that I’d want to talk about that. Then if I’m with the right chick and you bring it up. I hope your girlfriends near cause we’ll talk about it and then we’ll all laugh at you and hope you die.

Fuck and me I don’t have to worry about what I hope for.

Anyway I was in the can , talking to the Indian and black man about what it was like to have to use camel skin for hut’s instead of grandma’s and how they’s stupid but not like we don’t fuck up once in a while.

I looked over at the skull I have to keep change in and I said to myself. I bet a lot of people think all that prestuff right up to "life" had a lot to do with the creation of this universe. I have to laugh.

Sure a lot of those things are here. Eventually it all will be. Either out there or up there or in here. And I thought know. I had a lot of cool ideas. Like there are these guys who look like chess pieces and they like talk. But not like we do. They’re like the timeless ones, I call them. Not all those ideas just those guys. And they would say funny things that made me think. I would say ideas everytime I got them to give me a laugh, but it happens so fast you would swear that that they got me to laugh. Anyway they are a fucken riot. I still get a laugh when I see them. They killed me, in the end. Just kidding. Fuck fuck’en hilarious.

Anyway, One time there is this wall of brick wood and there is a water behind it. A very dark water. And I’m "walking" towards the wall. I’m about to do a "little investigating" real serious like and then walking right up behind me. The timeless ones. Ohh my fuck I’m turning and laugh thinking about about what goings on because I’m not just thinking from the laugh like I usually would be supposed to. Then latter like now I realize that I might not want to investigate everything about woman. I might not enjoy real ones as much when they are around.

Fuck I think that was funny. Used here this one. There is a bar in Montreal called foufouns electric. And I go in and it looks way different than I remember. I’m like. It used to be bigger and all that. All this basically is is where white people go to trade drugs.

Anyway as time went on it expanded to the point where it started to look like the one I used to go to before time. Then about the time when they put in the swimming pool. In the one I used to go to. The started putting this gym thing in. I was disappointed till one of the Girls. (That’s what they called them back then) I had a crush on. Put up this sign thing right in the middle of the night. She was like on the wall or a step ladder or something. And I thought. Wow, you like it. It can’t be all bad. Off course the place pretty much went hell after that. Of course those who don’t believe those things might wonder about how much got done in one year.

I mean I’ve heard of expansion but his place was nuts. Ha ha. Fuck it would have been fun if those timeless guys showed up. But bye then I’d killed them because I couldn’t think of anything to do with them.

Anyway….Humm-a Maybe Not.

It makes me tired to talk about the old days. Night day. "what up with dat!?" I loved life. I was in love with life. And then it occurred to me. I must kill everybody so I could make an earth. This was the greatest day ever. Of course it took time and planing. But I manage to have some fun along the way.. So I decided to do the same here. I’ve had my who. It wasn’t easy. But to say I lived it well. I kept having to come back here for.

I Am A Race Of One.

I am a race of one. I am not all in one place. It’s fun. Actually I am according to all the laws of physics, math, neutronium, philosophy. Off all the other things though. If I may quote the timinazong, "he ain’t all there." Which I hear here. It’s right fucked up. I love being me. I know I know the most important things to get down is the protect the body stuff. Then it’s on to the weird stuff. It will make you laugh it will make you think.

I know I sound weird for writing this stuff down. I do though. Remember the sealed chamber. Who do you think lives at the end of this. Those that just couldn’t quite be our friends. Or those that decided. "This is fuck-en God man, I’m in !!!"

I’ll tell you truthfully. If your not prepared to be my friend. You’ll be dead. There ain’t know way about it.. There is no time to change. If your having a child right now. I hope your happy. If your really really into such a scene. Then if you could wait a few years. Let'’ say 2005 or so. Then I would really appreciate it. Maybe your kid will to.

I hate dad kid. I really do. Right in the middle of world war three. Don’t go dropping a babie in on the scene. Wait it out. What’s a matter scared your going to stay young. I mean yeah I know people have to age… Right now a few people I’ve seen around for about ten years are begging to look, I don’t know a week to a month older. It’s frightening. I mean is this to be it. I’ll always be young, well twenty three that ain’t too bad. But if I was with the right woman. Don’t you think we’d find a way. I mean this earth is upset and it does need dead people. But maybe with the right woman. I would be okay. I could either, learn to live with myself and dump her when she started to look old. Or I could maybe make her look young and then play around with her little child mind when she came home tired. You know like men are supposed to.

What Is It Like To Be God.

Well, humm. The funny truth of the day. Is in the real world there are suburbans and psycho killers. I Love then both? No in the real world there are good psychokillers and good suburbans.

If one was to take a pie chart and show the amount of good psycho killers compared to the amount of good suburbans. Like if they all hung out the psycho killers and the suburbians. You would find that the good psycho killers and the good suburbans all out number the others.

Now which group has the highest percentage of good suburbans to good psycho killers. The psychokillers. They are on a mission. They have embraced life. As their psycho analysts though. Why do they come after me, and if that is true, how come I’ve never been killed by one. Often a bad psycho killer or a bad suburban will see something that makes them think God can help me. I think God alone can help me.

They might say what does he like. The suburban might open a shop, a diner or something. Someplace where people gather and they "chew the fat".

The psycho killer might want to do the same. The thought is as you’ve probably guessed. In The connection. Like I said earlier. What are you here for. Why is your life important to me, or me, or me. No matter what the mood I’m in. Well there you go the psychokiller might have a connection. Something they like. But it’s like the diner thing. I love diner things. They are like my Israel. The coolest of the cools. There all the time all over the world, and once in a while I go in. I have my breakfast. And I know that everything is okay.

So what does the psychokiller have to offer. Like I would have said "ham and eggs" and now said breakfast. The thing, the connection psychokillers offer me is Time. If you take the four bonds of marriage. I’d been going on about. Magic, natural magic,(I don’t know, don’t tell.), Let’s say Fung Shui, or What has happened to me, (Time). Everything I know that has happened to me is "Time".

What we consider time is just that and it is a bond of marriage. Very important to me. Is magic even in time, really. Is natural magic a part of time just as important. Is the blending of two lives, a blending that goes forever in time. Time. I’ve let some pretty fucked up things happen to me.

I am time. Now say that to yourself, if you’re here. "He is time". Being God is freaky, but the discovery of being time is freaky too. Everything that happens to me affects time. This has happened to me before. If you’ve ever heard stories about me being with friends and coming back all freaked out, from a walk on "the mountain."

It’s because, you know how you do stuff to me and I let it go… Something stopped me from telling them to stop because they would get hurt. Time. You see I’m God. I don’t forgive, forget, forgobble. But even if I wanted to tried real hard. It was a mistake, you know al that stuff. If I’ve been personal affected in anyway. It will come back to you. That means anything good, anything bad you do to the earth, air, moon stars, myself’s yourself. Me, myself in person. Any of those things that get back to me, passed out or otherwise. Have affected time.

Sorry to go on about that too much. But if you look at the forth really strong vow of marriage. It is just as strong and complicated. I saw a guy appear in a store, just to stop something that would affect his marriage, maybe ten, twenty years from now.

So who has the better life. Psychokillers, suburbans. I think it comes down to your vow of marriage vows. Of of of this is getting of. Magic, do you like that, you do stuff and you would swear people around you are doing stuff to get things done for you and then you get to see people appear and stuff. Natural magic. You look like your fucken dead or possessed sometimes then these people are like talking to you that haven’t said hi in a while.

Fung, shui. Where things around you seems like it has to be moved, "Once in a while." Until the other person comes along, and then it’s like there’re moving stuff too.

Yes in the real world you get to see furniture stores open and close, stuff like that.

Or Time. Me what happens to me affects your marriage. Yes it is a little more complicated than with another person. This that we do affect me. And things that are done to me. The only way, this is done directly, in a normal sane world. Affect me too.

There is also the fact that my marriage includes all four.

Well, that’s it I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m going to go on and on about my wife now.

The formal bows of marriage though. Fuck that is cool. All a person has to do to get with me, have magic vow, natural magic vow, Fung Shui vow, and Time, including affecting time directly.

Of course the diner I eat in affects me directly. The clothes I wear affects me directly. So to those other types of suburbans, those psycho killers. That are going to give me my earth. That are going to let people worship me. Etc. Those those that feel they can control magic, nature, fung shui, Time. I say "Good Fucken Luck." Because according to or research according to our reconnaissance. You be dead.

It’s funny. I’d love to own a shop during a fung shui experience. One minute your all setup things are going good. Next thing you know it’s like a storm. You’ve got to be somewhere. You’ve got to get things done. The storm is coming, or the "breeze that does not blow." And if your in the right place or out of there. Your screwed. Your gong to be the one sinking the ship. Someone has taken your place. There’s no reason to panic. You’ve missed the wave, abandon ship. You might come out alive. The shop that is. You didn’t do anything directly to poison or dissuade my brothers.

Life the big lie. If all I had to offer life. Maybe one person on this entire planet would take that. There is something very sexual about what I’m saying when your just lying there.

I have more to offer though..(I better be careful or she’s going to be all what instead of who. Heh heh heh. Maybe I wont be too hard to be with because I’m fucking God and it will balance out. And there is other stuff too.

But I do have more to offer people than just life. Trust me, If I don’t want you to be alive, I’m taking that gift back. Constantly as we speak, till the year 3000 if I have to. But there is other things than life. There is magic, and nature, real magic in nature. And there is Fung Shui. To avoid kung fu cutting each other when your making potatoes years latter.

And then there is Time, not God pursay keeping you together, who’s ta say. But Time it self. Over time and under time and did that sound nice and know why life ain’t fair. It’s the best I could do. And turning on the TV while I stand there glaring going I told you there is nothing Good on. And you’re the kidd being the kids who turned it on. And you better not pull a blow job on me or take one away after that. It could be the power plant. And I thought the Fung shui would work and it didn’t because the rooms to small and it turns out I thought you were in the now. And it me being stupid talking to you with my mind and I kiss you to make it up and it’s because I wanted the best for you. And without even knowing it you’ve made me feel like I’m the best. Cool. Because I’d never say that. I might think it. And then I’d realize your not in the now and we’d know each there so well. It would all work out. And even if hell itself. Pretend hell. Was to occur. I’d still kiss you and you would leave me, because we’d be like, kill them all and let God sort it out. And like no one would come alone with there fucken Napalm. Dish deodorant to seal in the death. And those fuckers would be dead.

I think I should get this down, before I go to far in this book. If you need me. Separate from you not mathematically the same. Not earth ingredients the same. Not from the same pod. Philosophically I might wonder about.

But some people might wonder about. Have you ever seen the guys who can protect their kids. Like there is a storm in the rain on TV or anything like that. The grab the kids and run away before the lightening get there. You see there is a difference between a lightening storm and just a rain storm. I always liked the run into the house and then back out when the sun comes out sort of approach.

Anyway, as the the sun shines in the sky and I have a pretty good idea where the trees are in the ground. There is a pattern to this universe. Like tree roots growing up though the ground. The ground and the tree, "agree" that this will take place. The process will require both the earth to open, let’s say, and the roots to enter the deeps of the earth even more. This is the way it is. Some people live their lives that way. Is this what I mean by natural magic. If your thinking your the only one who can get there kid out of the lightening storm along the way. You’ve lost your way along the way.

So I guess technically once again, people who follow God aren’t worried that their father is some evil bastard trying to kill them. While on the other hand those that are are hopefully all okay and ready to get back in there. and everything will be okay in the morning. Or the next morning. New world. Pretty much the same. Not much different. What are they going on about.

Enough about you though. This is my Book. I’m God and this is what and I’m trying to find out what. About myself. I don’t like to be convinced that I’m not God. Remember I found out a lot about what you call what God is and all that along the way as well. And I really don’t like to be told I’m not what God is, or when people get way off base about what God is. I’m finding out what. And that may sound like how I make a decision, or who gets to live or die. But what is more about what I am. I know we live in math, and science, and the laws of physics and stuff. "That’s all cool and the gang." But what am I. What am I made of. Like I said. Really by the end of what. I’m not sure I’ll be built in Time. What am I. Yeah I can see that. That is a great who. I’ve traveled the universe. Stuff like that. Mostly the Fung shui’ers. How the fuck did that happen… Magic. Natural magic, natural selection. The species meeting down to the very fiber of this f-ing thing this time. When I say I’m a Masculine straight God. It does mean I don’t like. Any man, or women who are into women. Staring at me so much they are seeing my let’s say graph/graft or fiber of my being. But is going to take time for the enemy to stop doing.

Time what do the what my being has experienced people talk about. We’ll everything from "Star trek" to how "I" teleported into that store. Bone’s reporting, "If I have to do that again. You can rip out my skull if it makes you feel better" They talk about stuff like that.

Doesn’t mean your going to die if you kiss a tree. Doesn’t mean your going to drown if you moved a store into a place you two don’t go to. Doesn’t mean if you tell a guy that "Q sucked his knob." Your going to die. Magic. Don’t fuck with the magic. I’ll give you a clue. If all I said before means God can take a Joke and we all have our moments and sometimes I get angry over something I couldn’t do myself. It especially means don’t fuck with the magic. Magic people, magic things. Two separate things. You ever heard of stop playing God. Never on your life in a million fucken years fuck with the Magic. People who claim to be part of magic,,, I’d like to know how. Never even bother with them. They are too fucked up. I can definitely see being a person going, "I’m a crystal, I’m a crystal" all sorts of things like that. Some are outright hilarious. Anyway it’s a thing like staring at my uterus or something. You might come out alive.

The Closeing Of The End

Yes, I’m drawing near to the end of this book. I’d just like to say that I started doing this for something to do before it would be safe for my bride and me to get together. If you could take the thought of heading towards the right girl makes your life better. Or heading towards the wrong girl makes your life worst, then this is definitely the right girl. I mean I’ve never had such an easy time writing a book. I’m digging it.

Right now in Saint John, there is so much going on. Cereal killers off to the left. Rapist and lunatics visiting and being judged everyday. As far as fun and good times go. There is a bar. I think a secret lesbian, lair where they lay their traps by setting up males to, take the fall, in front of their mindless Home-wives.

Yes I can see their plan so easily. Like I can start to see mine. Oh be the way if you’re a friend and all. Don’t try and rush too much through this book. I’m not in a hurry to get to the when. And these are, not mostly, very not mostly, expressions the when and the where and all that. I mean if you have something in the past you have to change or something like that. Don’t think rushing is going to help.

Also, maybe once this sets in we’ll all enjoy a little rest.

Right now there is a war on American television. Troops paraded across the screen. Soon, there will probably be troops that died in the gulf and other wars right there on the TV. Years latter they where going to fight for something. Nothing in there world has changed. They still look for a world with invisible walls.

You want to give me money for something, "no strings attached", fine. No problem. I might even give you an autograph. Someone got one the other day. I wont say who but their friends could sure learn some manners.

Hey I just thought of a even more summation way of saying, or writing the commands. People without manners don’t matter. I mean that scientifically of course.

Like I was saying though, if your out there and you wan to pay me for some miracle or favor. Have already passed the don’t pay the church test. Don’t look for someone else wounds to un-heel. I’ll take it out of your ass instead.

The only thing I ask is that you. A, very important, don’t pay some ex-cereal killer rapist/chicken fucker, to come in here and give me a cigarette.

Happens every day. Jesus, I know Jesus, Then it’s off to the races, or where ever else those people go. Haven’t seen a dime yet, not a scratch.

As I’ve mentioned, the local zone is also crawling with every-type of crook, asshole and racial-stereotype the world would imagine.

You might think they are all after me, no. There were hoping to turn Saint John and New York, into well. A lawless zone, I guess. You know a place for crooks to go when the heat was on, that sort of thing. If you’ve ever stalked a cereal killer or tried to prevent what I sometimes refer to as, "a long haul hustler." (They don’t do bold criminal activity, then are used for a killing or mass murder, some are retired and some are retired.) Then you know that places like this are as resting places for the criminals, a place where they can come to take off running factor. My local nut house is a good example. That place has been taken over I couldn’t tell you how many times. Always with the same result. They begin behaving like the people who used to work there before. It’s in the walls as they same.

And then of course the long haul hustlers are there as well, trying to learn to blend in. The funny part is there trying to blend in with a bunch of hardcore criminals. Good practice. But that is what they try to do.

I imagine, New York must look like every hardcore criminal, every international leader killer that is still living, is walking around going yeah we got them.

If they got away with so much, how come they have to be so stoned. How come they, they can’t live with themselves, How come they have to come here and go there to hide. What’s a matter did you join the wrong side.

Yeah, so like I said, this city is way to dangerous, for ma and pa, to come breezing though to pay me for anything. But if you feel like it cut out the middle man. That includes, no phoning my bank. I might decide to use how you know what bank I have I a court of law. No phoning my folks or family matters. Telling them how to live. The list goes on, it also includes not phone my government, any branches of the military, or police departments. All these are viewed as an attempt to have "real men" fall into your stereo-typical born again view of what I am. I am not your new television monetary "Love-desiple".

Take your cash enjoy your summer holidays and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

On a personal note I think I killed someones hitman today. Sorry about that but I don’t take being stalked lightly. I think they wan to be near death or something, look, if you knew how small a part of my life death is. I think a lot of those people would lose their fascination with me.

In a life time of maybe a billion years. Death will eventually be one second of it.

What A Citizen Should Know

Well for one thing, I’ve taken over. No all your governments pensions etc didn’t disappear. But I’m sick of it. This need for me to have a day Job, well paying or otherwise. Is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard of in my life. That is why I made you all half evil to begin with. I’m sorry for anybody who got caught in the cross fire. Myself included. It’s stupid though and I’m not putting up with it.

The local crazies and killers aren’t weren’t really zoning in on death, even though they do it more and more everyday. I think many of them get a kick out of people disappearing when the distance between us grow too long.

Anyway the people who send them around and ship them are probably hoping just for the place to rest and learn. They’re actually hoping I’ll move soon so they can make fun of many things. Personally they like to have me in a city like Montreal where they can make fun of me, as a failure for not joining their kill and steal for a living "economy". As they make fun of global governments for making God have a day job. The part about what they are making fun of government for is funny. All they offered me was jobs and lifestyles that would take more time than any day job I’ve ever thought of.

So the both of them, the wrong side and the right side offered me day Jobs anything, but stop being God. Funny more and more citizens don’t want to put up with it.

I can’t blame them though. I lost any thought that government, global or otherwise would work out long ago. Truthfully. With what I know, I can over no faith, that the government of this country or any other country is going to do anything for me for being God.

I’ll probably end up getting a day job eventually. Only when I’m sure it’s not going to affect what I do the rest of the time though.

I know, if your thinking my life is hell or awful, you should know that my job can be done while eating pizza or having a coke at the mall.

I wont on the other hand be cleaning a toilette or scubbing a chalk board in front of a class while I’m ascending someone to hell or holding observances over a dying/dead grand mothers funeral.

So I do a lot. I like to have control of myself. (I’m taking over). No if ands or buts. If you think that means you joined the wrong side. Your wrong though. Because I’ve told you. Manners, is the right way to live. And that my friends, is true.

I think it’s important to to remember, that as You’ve turned to God through out your life and I’ve given you advice. I stick by what I’ve said. You might be an asshole who I’ve fooled into thinking that your going to win the war. Or you might be doing things that you never thought you’d do. And loving it. Of course you might have to move on or stop sometime in your life too. Like I’m asking these "world leaders" to do. We’ll see who let’s go easier. Each and every one of them had the chance or opportunity to just call it quits and go home.

I’m looking forward to seeing the light on this book. It should offer many interesting things that might help with me getting into being myself again. Sure I’ve been myself. But not on top of it myself. You know I’ve been behind the scenes me. Not right in your face me. It’s funny you know the local killers and thugs. If you give them the finger. They phone the police. Fuck I’m glad I don’t have people like that working on my side. My guess is they probably kill old ladies and people right after surgery. Because no one else would hold the hold the blade for them when their hands got too week.

Fuck, I bet they don’t like the word fuck too much either. Men and women, who were never really raised well, all looking for their mom or dad out there in the wild. I laugh, why didn’t they find God. Well because I’m not really your mom or your dad. Shit I’m not even related to you at all. If I didn’t have two arms or legs you’d probably think that I was like everywhere or something.

My Mohawk

Well, I’m thinking about getting a mohawk, I know it sounds weird. God with a mohawk. It’s only going to get worst. Who knows what I’ll look like at the end of this book. I mean I God, I’m me, I am Yeeyoh. A good mohawk. If anybody was watching this video the other day. They had a back-fly about these people who’ve chosen to live, sort of like those beings I’ve talked about earlier. The ones that made me laugh and stuff. Anyway, you got-a include the business men, who look almost the same. We never see their wives, and the roomers of cars are not for the young.

Female business types who would have thought…

Anyway, as all that old stuff is phased out this will become more and more the reality. So hear I am, some of those things as old, or older than shape. And I’m watching this and thinking ot myself, realizing that the form, or shape of my bride must be something from that time as well.

The look, oh yeah I’m spreading disease and pestilence throughout the youth who judge each other by looks and economic/social status. My way of saying grow up.

So what does she look like. I mean sure each person has an individual DNA pattern that tells what they have done what are going to do and what they tried to do. And woman, who are the smarter species when compared to man, spend quite an amount of time working on their looks. Many have a look. On a comical note; the possession of an idea for a look will often cause the weaker of the species to wait till they see that look on another of their species.

Often the a new look will be copied by these people while they wait for others to form their look. Many women do not enjoy their look being copied. Most people learn to live with some sort-a compromise.

Well, what is her look. I know it changes, she changes with me over time. It’s like watching my desires in slow motion like a beautiful black wedding dress bride twirling in air. Slowly as what I’m really into changes and forms and takes shape she evolves into liking it as well. Much like the couples will arrive at a conclusion.

But is the form that way as well. I would say. Physically your way off if you think I’d know who would chose me. Not without looking at the DNA. But then again she’d have to have chosen me at a young age. Then to have chosen me early enough to know what she was getting into.

Then as the development continues she should have noted key changes in her DNA. Like many "punk rock brides" at this point she might decide to back out of the whole deal. I mean fuck man, I got a life," you know that sort of thing. But if she continue to think I was going to be her husband, all through, the You don’t know who I am, I can’t feel like I am, this ain’t going the way I had originally planned. She might at this time decide on a look. What does Gods wife look like. Reading material. There’s more reading material on you, my bride, than there is on Hitler Stalin, and Quebec, put together. I, "think" they refer to her as the Goddess.

There is even strange references to early, "punk rock brides" explaining why they couldn’t form so close to "the womb". I think one of the references is the three sisters at the cross roads.

Once the DNA is in motion, for trully yours should never form.

The look, is composed of what you think you should look like to be my bride, the form which is in outer, or what could be referred to as interstellar space. This form and your experience and experience at looking should help with the look if your helping to form this look. Oh yes by the way I thought I’d mention this, when you take on these looks or any looks like them, you should know that they are registered to to let’s say the planet or universe itself. I am not reasonable for any result of having or wearing the wrong look.

Should something regrettable occur you might want to search for the right look before changing. This is all to prevent anything awful occurring. Should you begin to look like stereo-typical over 65 year old looking person you will no longer be held responsible for looking the look you’ve been looking like.

Top avoid anything to tragic, please try to at least be trying to have a look that suits what you and I think you should look like. Should your look really look the opposite of all that then your in for something very tragic.

I’ve always thought of her as the best looking girl in any room. To the point of having trouble making friends. It’s common, these materials she owns. The design is older than this universe itself. There is a personality there you know. I’m not going to change that, who’s personalities the strongest we’ll have to see. Many religions and cultures talk about the Goddess, for hot she really is. I’ve discussed the flow and give and take and the universal time components of what it is to be together with her.

There is a personality to being my wife though. I know the plans been changed since I first got here. All the way back to the original 0063 truthfully. So the personality changes back there as well, becoming what I need it to become. Again and again, my faithful companion. Right by my side since I decided to do it. To be to exist. To not just be ,a being, floating in the void. To truly go on with my life to take shape.

How far back does my look go. Do I have anything other than a look. What happened to my DNA. How different an I look. I think my I become my look till the point where my look becomes the center of what I can return to. Like I don’t know maybe I’ll be shaped like a lizard/dragon someday in bed. And as long as I can come back. That’s cool. But what so I look like. I’m not even sure that image I have of the sun is true. It’s an old memory. But a look, a real punk rock look. That is interesting. My funniest "reading" memories are of creatures of shadows all able to kill me almost instantly. Not even thinking of it though. Wondering maybe why I was there, why I had come to visit their strange lands. I loved the shape of them though. Like if they made love to each other the shadows looked like they could rub up against each other, like we move skin to touch each other.

So do I have a look, or am I a look stealer. Actually the looks match the planet time of the universe we are in so technically, yeah I do have a look. Cloths, how to make real fabric, not shadow fabric part of my look, or should I bother to do that.

What do I and she sound like. That’s a good one too. Maybe we have different sounding voices for certain occasions. Like if we’re making fun of people who are stupid or stupid looking, do we have an original voice that we use to do so, one that makes it hard for them to notice.

Maybe making these voices and stuff is fun. They all are the looks, the sounds, the voices, the touches and most of all the miracles. Maybe I’m not asking for a girl that can be into anything or change into anything, maybe it’s about miracles touches, voices, sounds, looks, and manners. Each to their own degree.

Funny once again I got talking about her and away I went. How much of this will change. Will, my need to have a mohawk disappear. What is what, how much what is going to affect this look this watch this need to have her by my side. To those that got into all those things and decided along the way. Maybe your still a "punk rock bride" maybe you just aren’t "my punk rock bride". I’ve seen the group of you you know milling abut. Waiting for me to ask or thinking it’s your secret fantasy, no Idea that it was affecting your looks. I hope you had fun. I don’t think much of it was fake so you should be alright. I know I thought you where all beautiful, in your own way. I wonder though, was your dream really to fall off the wagon that far. Maybe you met some else. Maybe their look hasn’t come out yet.

I need to go back to my roots though, to find the special me. Here’s something few people know. I’ve never come onto a woman I had any intentions of going out with. The smoosh is a huge turn off for me. It’s like, I don’t know spitting on my grave and watching someone else urinate on it latter when they go home.

So you see as the world enters my total control. Fuck stop at rule, what a duffus. Then I’ll have to command more and more of it till… You’ll wonder did he spit on my toothbrush, the sinks clean.

I’m pondering what is the friendship factor on all this. In this new plan what whereing world. Is there a look, or sub-look catagorie for those that I hang out with. I’m not a big friend person. It comes from being low income, people who like you want to give you stuff, but they can’t communicate well because of lousy upbringings so they mime a dollar here or there. It’s quite disgusting.

No that’s the truth, I’m not a big friend person. Their pointless. I love hanging out. Same people at the mall, or what ever you call a mall, but hanging out, sipping tea, sure that sort of thing. Friends, though, I don’t know I think I’ll be friends with the wife for about five years or so first. Their just icky.

Of course financially people from low incomes have to work together.

I think that is why me and the woman want each other so much, we really don’t get the friend thing. And when you don’t get it, the only fun around people is hanging around. The only thing necessary about making friends with your loved one is the physical contact. And there your so close that you’d wan the person to die, if you broke up.

Friends sell out. It’s a fact of life. Their just not close enough for me, to give a fuck about them. If they don’t have cool long turn buddies. They are screwed. That’s not just me, people sell out ever day. It’s how we have albums and stuff.

Of course with inflation. There no reason to believe that albums or any of that will continue to be produced that way.

I’ve been God, now I’m going to be what God is.

You Know It’s Funny.

What happens when you die. Well, what happens when you die is simple. Your dead. No ray of light, calling for the end, no, finish line. The end is the end.

That would be in one of those worlds if the world could be like I wanted it to be. Instead though, you can have a lot of options or you can go to hell. Now the lot of options, they include, being born again. Me deciding what the right place and time for you are. Having your hair done in a salon and then, "getting back in there." Meeting your maker. Me placing you in a time tunnel where you keep walking forward, till you finally get to go to hell.

This ones not done too much anymore, but having your body exhumed. It means that basically you start with a first cut and then your body is harmed over and over again till your finally ready to go back to living where I rule and command etc. Over where you thought you lived. This is only done for people I would care to hear from again. Like I said it’s rare.

Oh yeah and then there is the cock sucker, now she’s my wife and I hate to talk about her this way, but she dies, almost every night, hopefully. This corpse is then carried up to the stars where we make love for hours. It’s quite silly though.

I Must Speak Economically, I Think People Can Here My Writing

Well, the economy could use a mention. I’ve gone on about everything else. A, I should mention that I love money. Love it, coolest concept ever. Do I like the way things are no. I thought AIDS would be enough. The city I’m in, is about 90% AIDS most days.

Anyway, I thought I’d give a shout out to those that own shops and stuff, you know cool people. Here’s your shout, prices have gone way down, what’s the hold up.

Anyway, like I said before, we got your AIDS. We got your NAS, we Got your ATM and we got your bubonica.

So I would like to direct these comments to those that might like to restart such a stupid economy where… All the prices go up and new things are over priced to the point of madness. There really is no way to express my hatetredd for what has been tried to be done to my money. But I’ll try.

I’ve been trying this whole time. I mean like, I’m not going to try harder than I do with anything else. If I like what your doing with your money. Good things will happen to you. If I don’t you die.

It’s the same with all those things. Enchantment, death, bonds of marriage, and Money. If you fuck with them you will die. Does that mean free loonies and twoonies are bad. No way. Make love to it. Maybe your enchantments got all caught up in your money and you thought death missed while you was falling in love.

What is the what of the economy. The what of the economy is the same as the who, and everything else everybody tried to do. For one those that would have tried to kill us during anarchy end up owning a few shops in the end. It’s really quite funny. You’ve heard of having the fight knocked out of you. These guys take it to the extreme. I mean even tiny guys are walking by and giggling. But the cool girls go, "fuck don’t wake him up. Sit the fuck down over there."

So basically money is not being treated like money. It’s a shame really money rocks. I love fucken money. But if you try and make it something that I don’t rule. It will do things to your mind. You’ll fuck your kids, that dog over there will start to look good. Till finally I rule you. Now I rule you anyway. But I mean crazy motron. I fucken rule you. Do you think that will make you take the prices down, fuck no.

Quite the opposite. You’ll continue to put prices up. You start and finishs doing things that are different form country to country. Non good. All evil.

Anyway that is it for now, anything good to say to anybody about money. Get rid of the middle man. Fuck the pocket and the time card and all that shit. Do what you will with it, what my spirit tells you. Remember it connects with all the other things though. The whole fucken universe.

Remember then that that means I rule it. Is it the only thing ruling you. Well if it is you’ve got something. Either class, or AIDS, either grace, or style. Oh did I mention that. Money is very masculine. Money is I rule you right to it’s very fiber. It contains the law of this universe was not created for you but for me. It’s true it’s raw.

From it’s very nature money was formed to give the economic universe a grip on what I am. What I stand for, and what life is all about. You see an old person who just won a bunch of money and they seem happy. They’re embarrassed.

But it’s there winding in your very skull what makes money different. I’m going to tell you what I know for sure. Money can be from the beginning or from the ending. In the beginning. I don’t give a fuck couldn’t give a fuck. Everybody but me could die and I wouldn’t give a shit. The whole universe is just something to try out to see you know, if it would work. Something not made of self. Not me, made from a part of me, but not me.

I forged that fucker. That thing is set up so that assholes make themselves look like assholes. Right fucken clear. And non-assholes well they do as good as times dictate they do.

Maybe you think that’s broke, maybe you think so new technology has come along to end all that.

How rich are you when your lying in a hospital with AIDS. Dying, then it’s your son’s fault. He has to deal with it.

Forged. And then, at the end, how far away is that you might ask. Heh heh. It sits rewarding everybody that’s been good, everybody that ever did anything to help me, and of course burns in hell anybody who tried to fuck with my marriage, my life. The people at an ends life etc.

If your into the flow like I was talking about earlier, you might ask yourself, how does this affect that. If you have to ask that your probably someone who is not going to be around till the end. A mean you take getting paid for something. You take the money you get and you by food. Everything is affected by money, and as that flow is a very big part of money. Mine and her flow all wrapped in their together.

So economically speaking a person could make a cleaning right now or they could end up I don’t know. Milking a camel in Africa to get hash they could buy from a stereo-typical poor kid in Nouveu Brunswick.

So why don’t I worry. I don’t worry because just like God had a plan for me now he has a what.

My Music And Why It Sucks

I cracked a joke about my music being from an alien ship once and everyone believed me. I have to laugh, most of my music is from to coin a better phrase angels.

They don’t really exist. Once in a while I’ll open up a moon or a planet that doesn’t really stay there and then I’ll get an album here on earth.

Now a days I just sit there or walk there and the stuff is there. Mostly I don’t bother lately. People don’t take it seriously. It’s gothic. Don’t fuck with it. You know that sort of thing. Then they write extra rules especially for me.

I’m starting to get side tracked in this book and I’ll tell you why. Naw this is about what. What am I. A friend hater. No, but have I had people who in some distant realm I considered my friends sure. And they sold out. And do you know why because they refused to move to the right city. I think they are stupid.

Maybe when I’m all done with this universe and it’s all over I’ll make a list of my friends. I bet it will be a long list. More than I can individually mention.

What, I’m trying to say is I didn’t wan them, they came along. I think that’s cool. I’m just not as freak out over as when I was young. I mean those guys from way long ago where cool too. So what is the difference. I’m alive. Your living. I’m hanging with an entirely different species. Much less than the animal kingdom. It’s true. Outside the zoo, animals are the coolest nicest people you want meet.

Economically I know I have a very/sort-a rich person hanging around me lately. I wish she’d go away. I’m sick of it. It’s like watching something tell you over and over again they are the boss. I’m God fuck-nut. If there are enough couples out there that fight over who’s the boss. You would think someone who wants the guy to be the boss would wake up. I mean fuck dude. We’re not asking everone wo become super knowledge religio-spiritual persons here. But I am asking for a little sense when it comes to who, you are compared to who I am.

No I wouldn’t. You are too out dated. Living in some sort-a past where, the "poe" want to hang out with the rich…."if only they’d let us.

Fuck, we all know your out for something. Like cartoon virgins strutting around with there screwed in the middle loonies hanging from their waste. Dankling from their crotch.

You decided to get rich while Christ almost died. "We, decided to get lives get our shit together."

The first thing I’d want from anyone with an over $30,000 a year income these days would be an AIDS test.

Truthfully you just too different, what you hold dearly. Sometimes for the Universe I think.

What am I.

What Is My Look

My look, is that of an almost punk, an almost successful business man, a Poor punk who couldn’t afford the patches. A guy who spends all his time worry about himself. I’m a hair freak. I actually have very classic features. I look sort of european form a distance, female. I can look different and truthfully I came as fire.

I can change what I am, but I’m not really into this changing to the point of harming myself. I mean it sucks I finally get a look and it’s burnt right the fuck out of me.

Well here is the secret truth. I get better, all the time. I get better looking. I get stronger. I get mightier. I get quicker with the miracles.

I guess my what is all about becoming God the whole freaking thing, right here on earth.

What To Do Till When.

What to due till when. Well I’m hoping everything will be okay. Right now there are so many changes out there that I’m unsure as to any political statement I’d make. Finacially it means that once again people are trying to build some sort of God machine that will let them know what they each think of each other after they get together to make decisions about how I should live my life.

Evil there is no other way to describe this than evil. I’ve never seen it done so stupidly or callously. But there it is almost every countries dream of a world ruled by God with cool people on the top taken away by stereo-typical images of the top being about money and how much of it you have.

Absolutely stupid. So I guess I see who goes for it over the next few years.

What do I do till when, I’ll tell you. Hopefully live the most fucked up magical miracle mystifying, timely experience, fun time of my life. Same as I’ve done my whole life.

That’s what I’m hoping to do. I’m just not freaking myself out anymore. I used to you know have a fun time all the time. But now everything is about death, and about p[rotecting myself. Not to mention the Nerds who keep going on about anything different like it’s the their personal earth.

Fuck what I’d like to see during the what is the end of science. The end of anybody but me making decisions about human life.

I’d like to see myself improve in my public performance, truly though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this alone.

I just fucken hate them. I mean you come out and your hanging around and then I’m being nagged like a fucken fourteen year old.

I’m as old as a person could be. There is no older. Superman old. Nagged.

Anyway. I’d also lke to see any mistakes in this book taken away. Any of that make it up to you make your life worst now crap. Any of that I’m the boss your not crap. Any of the assholes who want to hold me back.

Miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

Miracle, super right, etc.

I hope to blow my fucken socks off. I really do. I mean it. If the Late eighties had cool miracles. Then I hope this city is going to have some really cool shit. The thing it could work on, In the future, is timing.

Let’s say fuck all those other countries and places till we get Saint John the way we like it. If I’m powerful enough then I’m gong to do it because truthfully. This city is too money driven for anybody to give a fuck about it. If you think I’m going to steal or involve myself in some sort of "Gay pride" movie about how I should be or how it should have been. You are stuck so far in the past, I don’t know if this city can put up with you.

Get the fuck out. Leave, be gone. Never come back. See you never. Bye bye, the finger. Get the fuck out of here you mind reading peace of crap. Bye bye.

On a lighter note. I’m predicting weather of storms, and weather that is so funnily fair, no one should ever have to worry about me again.

What Am I.

Well, I don’t know what I’m missing. I feel like I have way more time on my hands than I used to. I feel like half the world hates me and the other half would kill for me. I feel like a sinner a saint. I feel like Brian Robichaud. And being Brian robichaud ain’t good enough. I feel like I’m going to do something so important at the end of this who, Which I’ve been through, what, when, where, continuum that will make up for my life. I feel that life before then is going to be off and on so artificial that I might fall in love with it. I think I know a world where real life is better.

I know the past few days I’ve felt like it would end. Like I’m doing great and someone is going to rip that away from me.

I feel like there is a part of me that has planned such stupid things for me that it had no idea what it would be like to be human. I hate it. I wouldn’t be human again, not ever. I love who I am. I enjoy it.

I’ve heard a lot of people got healed during the wring of this book and I hope that is true. I just hope people don’t think that that healing is going to stop because I start writing. I’m going to live in this book soon. A little at a time, till I’m all the way there. Why not join me. We’re all gong to be in it. From your self, your loved one and the shit you flush down the toilet. Why not embrace it. Why not make your life a part of my plan for you.

I came across this guy in Montreal. I’d been walking and no one had offered to buy me a sandwich or a slice of pizza nothing. I thought every body wanted me to just die. I can’t do that.

I went up to this guy and I said, "hey guess what I’m offering?" He paused and looked at me with real interest. "Eternal life." I said.

He looked at me real serous like he wanted to hear more, like he was interested for the first time in what I was saying.

You know what I saw. Just a rich fuck with too much time on his hands and not a clue what life in the real world was like.

What an ass, stalking a poor man or God, just so he could feel all bad about himself and do another line up in some bathroom stall.

Why don’t they shoot guys like that I thought. Actually, my mind wen to work on what I would do to him, and anyone like him. The associate stupid with not bowing down to them. All dopers do. It’s there thing. They’re evil. Stupid and evil.

I hope is this world is finished back in the end. That we look back and can say. These are the people that tried. Those are the people who stood in their own way.

I love myself too much to write down the rest of what I think on the subject. You’ll have to get that from the air, the extra’s.

Speaking Yeeyoh

Speaking Yeeyoh. I’m here thinking about what life must have been like before I existed again. I was talking God and I thought that was great and everything and it occuered to me to speak yeeyoh. Why ot speak yeeyoh over and over again. That would be fun. Do you think people would understand me after a while. I think it would. I could just speak my language over and over again. Till I no longer was speakng anything that I would care for anybody to understand.

Then it occurred to me. While thinking about what it would be like to go around and talk this language no one understood. I think It would make for a fun day. They could try and hear what I’m trying to say over and over again. That way, I might be able to get somethings done, without everybody laughing at the same time to. I wonder how they get things done.

On a personal note. I hope charonazone, let’s my wife get though, amoungst other people. I think it’s sad that we can’t do the eyeball thing sooner. I think I thrust my self at home, but I’d like to be able to go to sleep knowing she’s okay. And that is not easy to do, in this city.

I once made a joke about I wondered if charonazone was my wife. We shared some laughs back in the day. Now charonazone seems more like a recurring character. Once we transition the "super wank" chicks in the time of the marriage together should be okay. I wonder if the charonazones of the outside world feel they are not recurring. Because in Todays world they must surely be out there.

I hear that things are going well. I wonder if charonezone is trying to include. Me I’d stay here for ever. Make my wife the only person aloud and create wanker chicks for me. I’m sure there are enough men for her to see.

There’re could be some protection from her screwing around after say 1993. I know she’s hard to see because of the fact that we are little hamsters in cages but his will all change eventually.

I wonder does anybody do any good up here. Is my wife just a collection of thoughts and ideas I had before creation?

I think that is possible, but in order for there to be any consistency. The person would have to have a history. Either a very Good one. That I might enjoy, in the long term, to listen to. Or one made up, like that Dawn Chick in that buffy show.

And that is that we go back to speaking our Yeeyohic language. The kind we like to say with little reminders and ear pieces that don’t fuck with the sound today.

The land of real music.

There seems to be some deep problems with some of the things I’ve said so far. Like about friends and everything. If you know anything about the world you know that I don’t make friends very lightly. You might think I do when I run into someone I haven’t seen for a long time. Funny isn’t it.

Here’s the deal. We’re about fifteen years away from the end of what I’ve set out to do. To make man.

I know this sounds weird. But the world is different. Look out your window. Breathe the air. I’m sure if I could have done that before, I sure the fuck would have. Peoples problems becoming simpler. I’m pretty sure I’m doing that too.

You want a good tip to being my friend, to making it to the end. Stop trying to play God. It’s stupid and your going to die before the end of this for doing that.

As I make friends rarely, and truthfully my card is pretty much fun. You should know I’m a spy. People have me down on their most wanted list, as Brian, but not as God. I want that changed, and I need it changed yesterday.

I don’t make friends easily. It’s just a thing. I don’t feel I’m desperate. Truthfully I’d say, that I have just about all the friends I need. All I need really though is to meet with this woman of my dreams. Part of why I say wait… is like I say about forty countries think it’s fun and funny to crucify God’s body in order to make him give up on helping humans.

It’s not that I want them to make it stop. I’m going to make them stop. They don’t control me and they don’t rule you. You should never let them get the best of you. I do rule. Maybe you’ll see me down on my luck, Or taken aback from a situation. Remember while your waying what I know or who I am as a person. I’m an Agent of God more than anything else. It’s getting very close to the end of this thing I call a life. People shouldn’t be testing my patients. Asking for miracles like there some form of performance art. Demanding I stop demanding I go. Not asking put forcing me to stay.

I’m God not something to be pushed around. Fancy push or otherwise. Don’t ask idiots for advice.

The only change you can sense on me is her. When next I’m with a woman, you better not be judging her as well. Either. Because there are many religions based on this woman and me.

I wont hesatate. You think ‘d let a single one of my friends tell me weather I’m with the right chick or not. You’ve got to be fucken kidding. My God man, my friends so far couldn’t tell they if they were with the right person… If they were form planet zortoast.

The guy at the mall, the man at the counter. Oh my fuck grow up. The function of humanity is to please me. You might not see it. When your fucking your wife. When it’s all going down. Right there in the corner.

Like little girly men with little girly pride.

No talking, How many people still alive today hate the rich. I mean it, how many people here today hate the rich because of what they’ve done to God. How many people here hate the rich because of what they’ve done to a loved one. How many people here hate the rich for what they’ve done to them. How many people just want them dead.

How many people know that it’s their governments that let it happen. How many people care about me more than their Governments. How many people don’t want that to happen to God anymore. How many people don’t want that to happen to loved ones anymore. How many people don’t want to happen to themselves anymore.

For the sake of sanity, Shut the fuck up rich people shut the fuck up. I’m going to need some time. I’m gong to take a minute. I’m going to be "Far from okay." I’m going to make it my personal revenge to have my "fun" with the new rich, the rich, the soon to be rich, and the dead to be rich.

You’ve been living in a dream world, "Neo,"

I Thin everybody in the world knows I’ve turned you down. Maybe I should turn that up a little louder. I fucken hate the Rich. I think they are knobs. And the people growing up today who wan to be rich are worst because they already know what they are like.

On lighter note, if you like great music and enjoy hanging out without giving a fuck about how it is all done. Then please feel free to hang.

Who?___________

What?__________

When?__________

Where?__________

Endlessly. These are the things that I am going to change. Now considering I’ve been telling the man to "fuck off" since about the age of "8". I’ll have to consider it a given that they "know" I won’t "sign up and give up on my Islamic brothers"

Oh Yeah.

My wife’s name is Why. You know like in "Why the fuck" I bothered creating this universe to begin with. That sort of thing.

What and Why hanging out together. I guess I did do something’s out of order.

Another thing that should happen early on in this book is, all the Gangs should get off my turf. Fancy Gangs included.

What up with day?

This might be my last chance, to come up with anything I’m real grumpy about. I’ll be eating different food soon. So here it goes. I hate….etc. I hate….. etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

Hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

I like never seeing or finding out about anything I hate. Leave that in the past.

Here’s my favorite way to live. What I do to get there is my business. Life should require only three miracles. Light, sound and size.

After that I should be using my miracles just for my amazing amusement and fuck those that would have it different.

Well as I exit this time in my life. You should know that I’m okay. Are you okay. You don’t look so good. What’s the matter. Do you want to rest. Is there anything I could do to help you. Are you in need of a bigger power than I could provide.

Please I’m so sorry, thre just isn’t room for you. If only I could change that. No I’m so sorry. You see we are too much alike and one of us must go. That one is you.

Well have to measure it to the micro second to see which one of you went first. If only I could find a way to tell. Maybe you found God along the way.

‘I’m real sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m real sorry I wasn’t everything you were hoping I would be.

See you latter. Loved the part about you being on a mission for God. How’d that go for you. Sorry it didn’t work out. You’ve increased the amount of your annoyance in disproportion to your value as a citizen.

Too bad all functions have changed. There really is no need for you to try any longer. Your value as a citizen has been demenoused.

Oh yeah we got to give a shout out to my hate of there recently not rich. I think I hate them more than the ones holding onto their money for them. There so old so bold. They are down right cold. I care about them. How when are they gone. Who’s going to get that day because of them. I Love the way they die. Right out in the open like that. Oh how they cling. Like God gave them a secret mission. They lost their mind. Maybe they thought their mockasins were mine. Maybe I should kill them right quick. Right slow. I’m sure I’ll do it a lot of ways.

When your helping me with all that. Be sure not to ZZZZZZZZWWWWWWWQQQQQQQQQLLLLLLLKKKKKKAAEEIIOOUU.

The man keeps telling me about "y" and "w". Must have been a myth of, "the man."

It’s Like an Insult "She’s" not more horney!

Well it's that time of year again.

What am I? That is interesting and I'm sure I'll get around to that in a latter chapter. But for now who are you? Well let me see there are all those people who disappeared ever so recently and let me say that all but one of them never really existed. I mean can a man.. or woman.

Nah let's just get started. I'm God I'm God I'm God.

I love it. Being God is a lot of things. It's like well it's like when you piss on that tree. Well your pissing on a peace of me. When you take a shit well. your flushing and sitting on a piece of me.

Well hey I take the shape and the form of my inventions very importantly.

The way I see it what went on was a bunch of people tried to stop other people from doing things. So I created a bunch of temporary people to do those things.

Now they were the who. They had lives and people tried to stop them and they went on and in the end I got what I wanted.

Funny isn't it.

Anyway So now that I'm what you guys are all in there being the who. Some of you are thinking hey I bet there are going to be temporary people this time. Maybe even thinking you can take advantage of them. Maybe turn a prophet.

Well yes it was brilliant. the alphabet.

Now this what he's weird chat you don't want to fuck with him. I mean he might turn you into a toad.

Really might happen.

But what am I? Who am I in love with?

I don't mean just your but fuckin ordinary wanting to cum on their face sort of casual sexual thing.

I mean who do I want to be with for the rest of my life. For all time.

Me of course. Like I was saying that tree your shitting on etc.

Like I was saying you are all inside of me. the whole thing. She is too. Like I'm going to be fucking a woman who is going to be inside of me while I'm with her.

I can guess why you might think the heart but no.

Inside of me it's all mixed like a big, I don't know it's like when a lot of people die and you see me on the bus and well there souls are restructuralizing inside of me. Just like you do when you turn a doorknob.

It's funny really everything that goes on on this planet heheh affects me. lets' say like in astrology there are all these real planets that represent the universe. Then there are these other planets that don't really exist as planets but they are planets because they are just as effective.

now you take those planets. The ones that exist and don't existed in astrology add the earth and you have what is inside of me.

The whole thing.

I'm about 5' 6" tall. My weight, how embarrassing has almost reached 300 and at the smallest adult size was about 160.

I like it around 180 pounds firm.

Oh yeah why do I love my self. Because the good people heaven and the bad people go to hell.

How far away is heaven?

Get it?

Remember I had that other book. The plan which when I was in heaven I would have a book that answer. who?___________

What?___________ When?__________ Where?_____________

and it was about the people in heaven. Like their cool stories and stuff.

Well what am I. Heaven is on earth last time I checked affected by all those things those other planets. Those inventions I make. Those thoughts I have. The feelings I express.

Those Thoughts

Now the stories I read in my Book. They have to all fit together. Like I said, "People are all having stories and they don't harm anybody else’s stories. Now when people do hurt the stories of others they hurt me. It's almost like everything is going good with your digestion, you get constipated and then finally you take a shit and the and I feel better.

It's like that when someone is going to hell. I'm like constipated and I have to have a crap. When I have my crap I feel better. And the weird part is... you do too.

Like you had this string and a cat was trying to eat it. And then the cat is gone away somewhere and your string magically repairs itself and the world is alright and your alright and you know she's alright because you didn't go to hell trying to find her.

What's my story like you might ask. Well I like most of you have had people a lot of people trying to take my story away. It's like they hate me. Hate me for sending them to hell.

They know it deep down inside they know it and the struggle and threatened to hurt and kill those that I love. But I wouldn't let them win. I would not I could not.

"I'm God," I say. God can't let no one stop his place in the plan.

Of course it sucks for those who have to deal those things that happened to the who .

I was thinking though. If this really is heaven shouldn't magical things occur.

I mean like dude I'm what hear. There is no way what is like who. I mean what can't be like who. If what was like who. What would cease to be what and become who.

You'll have to excuse my math.

Well shit it's all inside me. I mean like everything. Now for sure I don't get all constipated every time I have to deal with a shit head. But it happens sometimes it does.

I don't know what to make of that last sentence. Bar fight?

I think a picture would be nice.

Yes it is Chip break time.

Chip break time. All must cease. I want to eat my bag of chips and watch TV but I can't afford TV. I can't. So I'll sit and I'll watch the, well shit I'll probably leave the computer on and watch a movie. Or like a movie on something. Or half a movie and then come back.

Anyway there I was staring at my wallpaper when it occurred to me. What is this Book about for those "people" out there who follow their lives.

Well it sure ain't shaped like a cross.

But truth fully it's about the people "who attempt to get in my way to the where" Being fucked up by themselves not us while making asses of themselves and doing all the dirty work.

That's just what what is.

I don't know why what is what.

But what is definitely that.

Oh yeah what isn't going to be like what did they keep calling me "who?" "who?" "who?" over and over again. I've heard of some stupid people in my day, but to not know who.

I mean God man how could a person not know who God is?

In the what though they'll know what!!! Like where you good or bad today. That's what!

Did you have a good time at the mall today? That's what!

Did I forget to mention something that you thought was important?

That's what!

What will happen during what. Get real. Did you not understand the part about the pathetic people who did not understand who I was. It's very sad really. They are all inside of me. Being churned up to insert in hell.

I feel bad if you've had a loved one who died. I really do. But this is not the place where I'll talk about such things. I will though. It will probably be latter in this book.

What to invest in. Invest in everything getting cheaper. That's what!!!

Invest in prices going down or you'll die. That's what! Invest in us paying less for everything or you'll die. That's what! Invest in the lower cost of living. That's what!

On a lighter note.

I'm predicting rain, rain and more rain.

It's almost like in some countries it's like scorching hot and in other countries it's like raining all the time.

Of course with today’s climate you can't go by the weather. As I was saying in astrology. There are planets that are ruled that rule. Planets that don't exist that are ruled that rule. There is earth that ruled I stopped from ruling still ruled and now am switching ruling back into being as influential as the rest of the planets.

Like that astrology equation I mentioned earlier.

Really I didn't say anything different I just said the same thing.

Life what up with dat!?

AhhhH weather what is it that makes you so different when it's romantic. Why do some-days with the right woman you want to break yourself apart and spread yourself upon the air the ground everything around and embrace her with it.

And other days it just sucks rocks !!!

I must make another picture....

Well before we get to far I'd like to give a few shout outs. To Rap music. You haven't made it anywhere. If you can't afford to not have the shit played on the tele. Then really your taking a very long time. Punk Alternative Hard Core Metal Death Rock and of course Rock and Roll all seems to be able to hold there own in most Countries. Okay Death Metal is on a bit of a break. Aside form that. If Rap is that old what could it be.

Sure the hell wasn't the colour of our skin.

Another shout out to all those people out there trying and hoping to be my friend. I see it as almost the opposite as the Girl thing. With Girls I have to remind myself that I'm pretty Good looking And they might be after me for my looks. With friends you have to remind yourself that they might want to be your friend to get out of something. and those are split into two categories. Those you will probably end up helping and those that it's hard not to laugh at or disintegrate of the face of the earth for looking at me.

Then there are those that might want to be your friends, but they leave that mostly in your hands. Which they probably should. Oh yes sub-categories of those that want to be your friends and want help. Would they be my friends after the help. That is the question.

Friends with God. That's it though. Non of this Brian your a different guy. Your like the battery all that stuff. Just God hanging out. Of course I do like to help.

Help help help. I must have turned the help channel on. If the help channel was the bat signal you'd swear that most days the whole sky could be made black by all the little bats formed by it. "Not so much Fake help, these days," thank God.

To Those friends that gave me all the extra time to help others. Thanks. I appreciate your appreciating of the situation and your thoughts on the subject. Should you choose to speak without thinking. I'll appreciate that to.

I think I'm thinking of another time and place when I think about what I considered friends. As our walkman hug us and the pictures in front of us dance. Maybe you'll reflect on this world that you probably hate because of the people who do crappy things. Then think about toasters and T.V.S. or pick up a rock and throw it. Then you'll know my earlier tries at life and how auto mated they were. Without independent thought the world is a perfect place. There is another place were people don't do shitty things to each other. Earth. I know it seems crazy but. On earth people really don't have independent thought either. It only seems that way.

For instance, when your child runs at you to be picked up and hugged or carried over to someplace new. He's and or she is only doing this to please you. Sure you could slang that up to, make you happy, freak you out, have some fun. It's totally artificial.

Same with you saying hello. Take a person saying hi to me. As a what. This who will walk around a corner and say hi. They assume they are saying hi, to their concept of God. They are saying hi to me. I might be thinking about laundry. A volcano forming, in this time or another time. I might be trying to find a secret local to pick my nose. I like tissue, but I'm old enough to use them.

Now this person says hi because they want a reaction like a hello or a hi, to (please) their image of God. The person who is always prepared to listen. The person who always understands.

I try not to give a person like that a handshake or the finger. It's not always easy.

For their conception of what God is to be so different than reality. They Don't acknowledge my existence amongst their friends. If at least three people hang out together. All acknowledging the existence of God. They will get a much closer concept of what God is.

These people, Rarely catch me at inopportune times. Hardly ever throw me off balance. Truthfully their biggest problem seems to be thinking I want to be everybody’s close personal friend.

Nope sorry. I guess if I have God friends. God friends that in person I sort-a know cause I can keep my mind out-there. And then of course what we call close personal friends. One of course will be the wife.

Ahh that is funny what does a wife do to prove their love to a husband. Now your talking artificial thinking. There's the fact you want to physically stay together. There's the fact you want his love and want it bad. There's the kisses your hoping for there's the thoughts of what happens if this breaks down. The fears of starting over and it never being the same because it's with a different person.

All this going on. If you've ever been with one and they're spinning their head trying to figure which please to praise. Then you know what I'm talking about.

AI I love myself. It's the best fucken life ever. Every body pushing others buttons all making it better and better for each other. Including me. Until the sky is about to break open from the wwww?_________ and then is dissipated into a thousand branches and branches branches all pleasing me endlessly. Yeah I know I'm God. I know it so strongly that I had to laugh at the last few attempts to make me forget.

Silly really silly deedless doing their little deadly thing.

The Joke!

God walks into a bar. Everybody is talking about him. He walks over to the most attractive chick. Enough about me, let's talk about you.

Ha ha ha. Get it. God gets sick of people talking about him. Have you read a bible. Do you know what is going on. Do you know what time it is? ha ha ha I must be kidding.

Anyway in Montreal I could walk by any bar go to any coffee place, Dance my night away at any bar. Drunk right out of my skull if I wanted to. Never not once did anybody stop talking about me. Like music to my ears. Like the beautiful stars in the sky the mist in the air. The trees. The mountain. You name it.

Oh and of course most of the people there aren't single after about sixteen years and that's even back then.

Ahhh the place rocks. Lately it seems like they think they have such places. Now a days it's now bars. I can tell. Walk into a place and everybody shuts up. It's a now bar. They want your now. Your humming to yourself something to remind you of what you wanted to do with your day and someone will open up a now bar where you can go in and forget your life.

In real life there are other sorts of bars and places where things are always happening. I can walk into one of those places and something things are going on. It could be something from France in 1374. You don't know but it's fun. Now a days it all looks like some sort-a proof that living through the year before was stupid or something.

Ohhh and most of the buildings around here are built to take away from the beauty of my earth not to enhance it. To the point of emphasizing the crappy-iest things in Montreal actually.

Anyway since most of us living to day aren't aging and the who's that want to be what are going to be killing themselves amongst themselves. I just thought it would be fun to write a little about what. What am I what is God.

Yes in the who. I supposed we discovered that God can affect the weather. Make things disappear. Even bring a few things back and stuff like that. Yes a suppose I can make things move. It's sort of funny.

If that is all you discovered in the who then you are either a minor bunny, or really don't have any concept of God. It's really sad actually,,,

More about the city though. I know pathetically single people over the age of thirty. Cars that rust. Ice that makes you fall. Trees that make it look like they are going to make it all though summer and then the branch breaks off on it's own falling to the ground. On the brittle frozen paving. A paving so solid it makes ice look like clear paving and

paving look like black ice.

Ahh I can't stand it. The sun. The trees. The lake on the hill. That's about the same height as the Montreal mountain. It's a beautiful beautiful world.

Ohhhh excuse me I'm arguing with myself. But ass far as I can see the only side of this planet that has to change it's ways compared to the inside is the temperature. Aside from that I believe my concept of inside and outside will be pretty much enforced by five years into the age of Pisces. I'd say around 2006.

Perma-locking.

Basically I guess if you read and your trying to figure out that top sentence it means that the age of Pisces. The age of Pisces will have the inside and outside as close as they really ever are. Until the next age of Pisces. This age of Pisces should last until about half-way though that next one.

So there are the signs in a nut shell. You should see, when this earth fully kicks into the fact that the comfort level ain’t all about temperature. It's becoming just another place. Like all the planets that are real and are not real. While they feel they're up there ruling. The earth down here rules as well. Of course they all "rule" together. Basically I rule the earth all the other planets everything on them and the stars around. The whole fucking thing. The stars are a different form of time. Like the measurement of days months years. So yeah if I can just get the earth over the hump and land it like, "It is One of the other planets." Equal. Not Better or worst. Or stronger or weaker. Just different. Ohhhh guess fuck is she fun to rule. If you could picture driving your favorite favorite fucking, "no one gets their favorite fucking car" fucking poster on a wall automobile. That's what it's like ruling the fucking things. Your cruising in a no-speed limit 100 M.P.H. with no one else on the high way and it, "this is were I separate from you" goes on forever.

All I have to do now is pick up a hitch hiker on the side of the road. Without slowing down. Say high honey, "Have her convince me that she is my one." Keep, my speed constant and maybe someday do the same thing to put a kid in the back. "I hope it's a boy!"

Of course on a certain planet I'm actually living this life. making sure everything is okay.

Ohhh yeah if your really into astrology then you might want to know that the earth is wear the AI is the most kicking.

You know it's funny I was thinking to myself. Weather or not the image portrayed in the bible is a stereo type. About a God who really wants people to understand him. It depends what you mean by stereotype. Most people, back in the day, thought the expression meant something that the sound of doesn't change. The definition for almost any word is a craze. The only exception to this is the word good.

Now if I was to tell you that a person might think the stereo type for God is that I react the same way when different people do the same thing. I'd have to say only when good is done.

So telling a person that has done some Seriously wrong that they can do a few good things and everything will be okay, or the same as a person who has tried to do good things (and succeeded a few times) all their life is stupid.

So if you buy a kid a bag of chips don't expect your whole life to change over night. There are people who have been paying for cheaper chips they're whole life. They're life was probably a little better because of it. Then they decided to raise they're prices just to see if like you know they were connected. The slightly better life and the price of chips. They died. It's a fact of life. Making my life any worst will kill you. Heaven.

Makes Me Think Of The Wife.

I wonder if my image of head spinning true love making kick the wall before I'd leave him is true. Then I should have nothing to worry about , I mean that's cool. It's Going to get more and more powerful though. Those moments of putting up with you because your an attempted-friender or something is going out the window.

They're is no buying your way out of it. We are going to heaven. We're pissing me off is ridiculous and people getting away with stuff is the most impossible stupidest thing that a person has ever thought of. What the planet is getting used to if I might refer back to my previous chapter. Is my ruling it. You see to this planet I eighties expression, "rule". So strongly that I can't seem to get it to perm-know that I rule.

If it was to flip that expression from the "rule" in the eighties to the rule. Then I might come up with the ability to have a wife and or kids. Because believe it or not computer. She's going to "rule!" One way or another and if the planet isn't through with me "ruling!!!" by then. I really don't know what to do with it.

Of course if it's just the planet earth that is stuck with a "rule" complex. Then the other planets should be enough in a universe plus planet "rule" continuum. Of course should the planet release that to most everything I do "rule" then it should see this newness as rule-x-rule. Or super rule. or he's ruling. What a ruler. ,"I've never had better." Super rule. The ruling one. The guy up there who rules. "I've never ruled like that guy." What a ruler. I want to get a ruler to see if I can measure the amount of rule being used to rule me while we're ruling in the rule.

Rocken rollen rule. Ivan rule. Batov-in Rule. Mostartian Rule. There is so much going one and being rued and ruling and the temperature is going to transition into a new rule where it's more obvious you rule, of course by then it will be "ruling" to those that are now "ruled"

Wanking To Jesus

First off let me tell you. I love it. I flip-freaken flipen-fucken love it. Unless your ugly. When a person is ugly I think it is the most insulting thing in the world for a person to wank off to me. I don't know why they would. I'm sure not going to wank back. I mean fuck. Bad-hair day etc. Yeah sure. But fucken ugly. I said beauty is a gift. Women think a lot of handsome men and masculine men and rugged men.

So looks must be important. The super wank. The up-tight couple wank. The, "I don't know what your talking about?" wank. Super-terrific-happy hour super-wank.

It's the wankiest. It's almost like sex. If that twenty minutes. Heh heh heh could be stretched out to encapsulate how much I love romance, you would start to get me. Rock and Roll. Don't get me started on Rock and rollen.

I just might make some rock and roll myself some day that's what I might do.

I'll get a typewriter and I'll start writing and I'll never stop. I'll be the super wanker. The mano-wank. "The God who wanked his life away?" Get with it.

The question remains what do the Girls think of the super wank. They might do it just because their friends think they are cool when they do. I mean that might be the only reason. They might... no they like me. They really like me. Humma they seem to like me when I'm naked like I'm fucking them but not so much when I'm out there with my clothes on.

I think it's my voice. They must think I rule the earth with my voice and when I use it to talk to them I'm.. Well I just don't know. They are single at least some. Some are probably secretly going out. I did mention that my friends in relationships should probably, not hang out with me in person too much. I might see the look in their eyes when they stare at me like, what could you offer me that this man can't.

In a good mood this is okay. When I really laughing at something though or when I'm really angry at something that is going on in the world. Might be past present or, future. Hint Hint. I might look at here and go I can I can offer you blah blah bah. Into their mind it sinks and then they stare at me after they've left their man and I laugh. laugh my fucken head off. Like I would fall in love with someone who would leave someone that made them feel that way. Being in love. There are no limits. Being with a person who has left their one true love. Waste of time. Why bother. Of course along comes the right person someday and you don't care who they've been with.

What really I never understand is the people who think they are with the right person. Then they think that they wont understand the pain they've been through. They wont tell them the hurts and aches they've had. Like is it the right person. Did you not tell me and everything that is holy that the person your talking about is the right person. Yes dude, dude-ets it's going to hurt, but you want it to stop right? I mean like you do want no one else to go through that, right? It happens bye telling. you tell them what you went through, Time will still heal their wounds. Like who the fuck would give a fuck and who wouldn't, isn't going to end you up with the right person. (Funny though it's the people who care and scream and kick about the about the small things that make the best lovers.) Where were going anybody would care. They'd all care, but who the fuck can take it; that is the question.

Where Will We Be When What Is Ending And Becoming Where.

Well, I'm sorry there is a big truth there. I'm who, what, where, when, and where around the home. Then new things are added and the when and the where change slightly and then the you who are slightly different. The what is constant. The what can not be different. All the stalling and fighting and stupidness of the last century, let's say. Ended up with about a 4.2 second delay in the time it took me to complete my quest to know who I was. Finding out what is going to be something.

People might be wondering. How could you not know what? They might be thinking I've seen some freaky shit man, but when it comes to you... Never have I seen such a freaky thing. True, being freaky is me. As we go on you'll probably find that I'm freakier and freakier than you. A real droid.

What contains personality as well though. What contains more than just what I've done. What is what I am. To Humanity God is the universe the stars, all that we're in, what we've come from and what we become.

Yes, that is something I've made. It's not necessarily what I am. The totality of me, is far beyond what has been this universe for so very long. What contains, some of me far before life. What contains some of me far after life. What flows though life and truly touches very little of what this life containing Universe is.

For you who though, What is very important. Just like my journey to discover who. You too are on a journey to discover who you are. When you discover who you are off and on, until finally you know who you. I hope it is as much fun.

My life on the discovery to who has been the greatest. Not once has anybody who has appreciate my gift ever treated me wrong or caused me any grief or disrespect. Never not once. On the other side against life. I can calmly say that they tried and did not win. Pathetic creatures that would try at nothing to make me feel angry and hate my friends.

You take what I just said up there about trying to find out who you are while I discover what. That's what your life going to be a bit what. You want to get along with people a little bit better, try de-age-afing yourself.

There your going to be though, I hate to make you paranoid. Finding out who you are. Other people want to know who. People from good families. They have a daughter, your someones’ son. Maybe so far you haven't done too much, like your parents are too tight. So it might not just be me what, whom wants to know if your a person who is trying to get to where. Remember where for you; Why and How for me. Another truth that you might find interesting... is that if me taking an interest in your life seems exciting and more strengthening than an average day. When the right person starts thinking of you, you probably think that's it's me, God almighty thinking strange desirous thoughts about you. It'll be them though. The person of your dreams. She'll have finally connected the dots, or she'll be astro-wanking and the mind will drift into the right person, maybe from behind a guy at the counter or something and then wham-mo. It's not just you you care about, it's them too, you want more.

Like I care about this universe. That's the feeling it can be. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the first time. The interest though. Romance entanglement. The biggest of the bigs for most people.

The Job

The Job my Job, what are you going to do?

What baby, what are you? I mean it man what are you? What did you do what did you do while God was finding himself. Is it a mission from God? Did you fall into a TV reality. Or did you just click that on when you where tired. Is it your life or are you your own past time. When did becoming yourself become your own past time.

What Did I Do While Finding Out What Was You?

My first thought this mourning. While I wonder for those that wonder if God is sleepy in the morning. Is How many people had to know who was in order for me to know who. A shame really to those that had to be told who I was. a person might have thought very bad of God. Then someone comes along and tells them it's me. Very Bad.

The weather, how's the weather going to be. I'd hate to live in a place where the tourist are more important than the rest of the population. How stupid can a country or town be. Year after year treating your citizens as being not as important as these visitors who come. Really most places that indorse such activity also require their citizens to treat the people better than they would their own family. It's sick. The only reason I could see to travel that way is to visit relatives that a person hasn't seen in a long time.

If you've ever been in a city that's hosted one of those big tourist events you can see it every where. The trees are sick from all the metal in the air. The super structures. Half their low end population looks like they've been fucked by the "new" richy rich. The upper end looks like they caught A.I.D.S.

Economically their screwed. Don't believe me visit Sydney in a few years. They spend so much trying to cover it up. City to city. Town to town. That in the end, their really only making it worst. N.A.S. that's going to be worst. Faster perhaps, might take a little less time, but hey hey. They had to have it their way. In their minds there is no way that God is right. Can not be, will not be, They can not except the program.

Stupid people living out stupid lives. Life goes on. Those that admit life is hard, go on and have great lives. Ever been to one of the cities of talked about. Seen them at the cafes. Hanging their asses right out into the street. That's not what I'm talking about. Real life, real fun, real enjoyment. Being their long enough watching them die. There's the party. Like around here. One building after another. More and more people. Like watching a enlarged meat grinder carrying your troubles away.

It's a good time. Gee's now that you think about it, while most cities are probably going gee gosh it's back to the eighties, yea hah !!! We can definitely say. Thank fuck. Thank fuck it ain't the eighties. I can imagine what that must have been like. Your not God. You've got to make the connections. Someone bumped into someone or something then they're carted off. Over and over again. The religious freaks are making out okay, but not as good as you would think.

Etc.

At least where we are we're happy it's 2003. I mean shit. Have you been to if one more person says, "just like the eighties." or "the eighties are coming back." Don't you want them to die!!! I do I want them to die right away. That's the problem I've got to cool down I've got to let them die naturally. Real disease, real instant, real pain and injury.

Oh, I'll let you know someday how I found this free time. Anyway back to the N.A.S. This is funny I know... There are more miracles going on than ever before. The greatest, but these are the freakiest. Is this a miracle. Sure eventually. There is a movie out with the disease N.A.S. in it. Then I'm watching the lasted "they suck I'm the real deal..." on the Tele. For something to do they put on a band called you guessed it, "NAS".

The bands like. I feel a vibe, do you feel a vibe. I'm freaken, I mean freaken. No I don't run around and stuff. I don't have enough money. Latter like the next day, I'm at the mall. Sure enough I look under Rap/R&B and there it is NAS. Not just one album or two albums but about four. Fucken rocken

I don't have the time or the money to get into a new band right now. That's great. I'll by them latter, when they are done making albums.

Anyway I thought it was fun.

Lousy Music.

What up with Dat? Anyway I just thought I’d tell you the one about the musicians that sucked. There’re weren’t any and it was all fine and Good. Then we were thinking though. Why not have musicians that sucked and everything. It’d be cool we could make fun of them and stuff and then when their women come onto us we could scream because you call that a come on. I’m dying hear. I’m wondering if your psychologically damaged or something. What do you do next all get together naked and stare at each others backs.

Fuck. Your lucky to have you looks when you do, you could end up with no one with you ever. The cloths coming off was enough for me. You see that lack of soul there. I was there the dream the she’s right hot the beauty the whole fucken thing. The choice in men should have been my first clue.

Sex-droid twelve reporting. Last scene in trolling for dollars. "I wonder, could she have A.I.D.S. yet." Sheesh A.I.D.S. she’s lucky if the whole on the inside of her crotch don’t attract strange unknown things from the corner of my mind.

Then again could be verbal abuse.

Ahhhh death it seems everybody wants me to talk about death. All right death everybody dies goes onto the after-life. Those that don’t end up in hell purgatory or other strange neurotic places of my mind go to eternity. We’re there really are only a few people who might totally fuck up and think they are permanent. Those and those that follow them will go to the after-life. To be sent to hell purgatory or any other strange place I can think to send them on their way.

I know that might not be the big death talk we’re talking about. I hope to get to that latter. I really do. You’ll find I’m really just discovering what that is all about. Sure I know a bit about the who of it. That’s right upstairs there where I just wrote.

But the what the what is coming and it seems to me that they want the what right there the whole fucking thing right near the beginning so I’ll be tired and week near the end. That might happen you never know. It’s possible too that that I might enjoy a rerun or two that I might enjoy hearing the same song again. That I might want to enjoy the same parting the same separation. The joy of the universe being better either way. The joy of the universe being way (the-fuck) better either way not so much of that these days. Same old same old. Never a dull moment. That sort of thing.

Like that big pinball scene in the sky. I’m know what I am. You might fight you might try not to know who you are. Fight too hard though and I’m going to kill you. The thought, "Death does the killing." That’s what. I could eat that with a worm. No, death is change same as always. The earth always changes. When the leaves fall in fall. When the river reaches the sea. Bugs in winter fruits in fall. Everywhere and everything that person used to do, say hello to, kiss hello and good-bye. Are all changed. Things that a person moves around a house. The air they breath. The candles they lit. The place where they bought their pizza from.

All different from one persons death. Now if you want to know what my life is like. Many people die all over the world. Different numbers in different cities all affecting everything that goes on. Those stories of all the lives all the thoughts all the money all the air they breathed changed.

Those are stories of those that are left changed fitting into other stories a little bit different than they did the day the hour the minute the moment before.

Never the same never to be swept under the rug. From the evilest fuck fuck; my personal Satan. To the friendliest super mom. Their lives have affected and changed those lives of the people they touched. It’s all caught up in the what we do.

You think your such a great delivery person you bring food to the little old ladies in a building maybe one of them is great. You’re the super greatest pizza delivery guy ever. Nothing could go wrong. Then all of a sudden she dies. Your now the guy who takes money to the misers up on the 6^th floor. You’re a shit.

Remember the shits up there earlier in the story the ones who go to hell. That’s what you are. Your life is based on what other people do. Your depending on the beautiful girl to always be there for you. Your just a peace in someone else cog. Living a life where the worst ting on earth is getting in an accident. Unable to face the reality that your life is stuck in AI created buy another man or me?

Because that nice women in that building or those students that need there floors waxed have to have work done. It’s not required that you go to hell. In reality though. You might want to keep in mind that real people have lived real lives. Your life of depending on who you help and when you help them is stupid. When you die you’re going to hell. Truthfully it’s nobodies business but mine who goes to hell or not.

Ohhh little worker man. That’s great we hope you do. We hope you work real hard. Remember though "hard work never got anybody anywhere," do you know what that means. It means that you can work hard all you’re life, good job and everything, and still go to hell.

Going on to eternity, or staying eternal really. Is based more on who you help. Now your not aloud to look at anybody’s soul or anything like that. Getting paid to help people though it’s a great job it’s great work. No though it do not affect who’s going to hell or not. You see I make those decisions and while your clinging to your job of the helper bee. I’ll laugh my ass off should you die. I’ll think it was the biggest joke in the fucking world.

How’s that I’m new at this….

Heh heh heh.

I Thought You Meant Death

You meant what’s it like to kill. Well I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you. I mean it’s kind-a like on of those fight things. Like if you want to get into a fight. The best thing to do is find someone else who is looking for a fight. Then you two and or four or three fight and if no one gets killed it’s called a fight.

Killings different. In the situation above you could call that killing which it is in a court of law. As far as weather or not it is to kill though no it is not the same as killing. Me killing different. As, I also do the judging. Anybody or people I would have to kill are at a huge disadvantage. I can just skip the killing and go about with the judging. Judging is easy. Ohhhh did you live a good life. Did you save all your fuck ups till the very end. That’s too bad I really feel for you. Decided to bug a friend or bug a brother. No sorry I got this place though it’s hot. You’d like it. It’s the bomb!!! Ohhh you might have to relive the same mistake over and over again though. No sorry that’s the best I can do. It’s that easy.

Shit half you people never did too much anyway.

Got to shut it down I hear the bathroom calling.

Music.

I was just at a record shop and we were talking about music. Ahhh what a relief. We talked about punk-rock music. Not my favorite. I’m playing some right now. Fun though. How with enough movement, enough interest is generated and that interest can become enough to get some financial mojo going.

Once you got some mojo going then your really "in trouble". Then you have a chance to get out-a dodge. Get out-a dodge is an old expression. It means like in those old wild west movies. You know your life is pretty much heading towards a bullet in the head or an untimely death of one kind or other. Then when you get your mojo going there is a chance for one or two or a few of you to actually do something with your life.

Rare, but sometimes it happens.

Music though, sometimes it does happen though, like right now there are a few people trying to get something going on in "the scene." The scene is another expression, you might find out what that means if you live long enough.

Anyway, one of these groups is like the closed group. You’ve all seen it. You can only go to their shows only their music are you supposed to listen too etc.

In the other camp(s) as far as I can tell you have a choice. You can go to their shows, The other peoples shows. So far that’s it though. "The scene", around here is stuck in a two or three choice sinerio

Maybe it’s the different night thing. Like you take this night and we’ll take this night and eventually there is something to do every night. One thing one choice each night. Just like when they were kids. Mom and dad telling them what they could do each night. Those are the choices.

My goal and I can guess, hint hint, that the goal of a lot of people is not to live the same life they had as a child.

It’s dull, boring and really cuts down on anything magical happening around here.

In my world there are at least three great things to do on any night for anybody. Some nights have multiple options.

One quick Canadian note. If your on the east coast and your wondering if there is a great scene out here to get into. No there isn’t it’s the same old sad we take mob money and complain about the lame turn out and "turn off" after the show.

On a lighter note there may be a few men who are sick of all the shit. Who might decide to travel in there journey to find who.

I hear you over there on the coast. You gorgeous women. Begging for it. Let me tell you the truth though. If my women wasn’t here I would have moved there long ago.

Ohhh yeah one last note from the men out here. Don’t fall for "slow mo mocam and the boys" as Saint Johner’s, Saint Johner’s they ain’t.

Why I Seem Not To See Romance

I don’t seem to see romance because I’m the type of guy who sees the romance when I’m with the chick. You know when I think about it. I see the romance every time I’ve ever really thought about her. Being with the same woman for ever and ever. Like man to you that might sound bad or ruff, but to me that is the balls to the wall the be all end all, and what it is all about.

I mean fuck, If your like me you’ve wondered the pre-universe for ever always searching for something permanent. Pre-matter. Pre-thought really but something something that you can cling onto when it’s all falling down. Something you can hold onto when it’s good or ruff. A person you can hold up when when things are great there right there it’s all permanent it’s not going to change. Love. Ideas concepts. Pre-eminent thought. Always been there always will.

These concepts thoughts are older than the universe. Love hope dream desire. Ever heard of the concept of hope. Well those that think it’s there private little word for hell are going to have real troubles real problems. I mean it man. I’m sick of the under-ground sick of all there wining about being the same shit in a different pile. No they are not. The only problem with the people with badges or rights to kill is that they think it gives them a free ride.

The other side the other side has no badges is fighting to get wasted and looks at their kids like there some sort of feed for their local hit-man to warm up on before they get to the big one.

Concepts Before Time.

Yes well this is the book of what, so I’ll have to get into the before the thought of man others life things of a God but not God.

I’ll have to get into that a little or it wouldn’t be much of a what now would it. Before there was you there was plenty for one thing let me tell you. I’ve taken baths more interesting than my entire life. The ideas I was sort-a hoping to get into though were those of love thoughts desires. What’s the big Cahuna to me. The big cahuna to me it like an entire world might be interesting in like a few years you know every body who made it. Everybody I’d care to see. And I run the whole thing.

Before time there where concepts like spheres. "let’s make planets," that sort of thing. "cubes, what’s a cube?" sugar. That sort of thing. What will we hold it up with? "space" that sort of thing.

Just me, me all alone. The worst life ever; it was not. Quite a bit of fun actually. A ball. A party. Of course you mother (grandmother) might not have been there. She might not have meant much to me, but what does she mean to you. Eh? That’s the fucken question. Did she raise you to spit on Christ at the mall. You would think so. The way some of them act. Don’t let the new Mob rule you or your thoughts, give them as little time as possible. Do not concern yourself with them.

If there is a new school, a no school and an old school, which there is, then they are dead school.

How to live, how to survive, how to enjoy life versus how t kill yourself. Humma I wonder who is going to win. I mean it’s like right complicated.

The simplicity of the fool.

It’s cool though, I dig Jesus. Because he makes the chicky poohs come around. I mean who the fuck are these people. Are we to believe they will obtain lives. Was it something cool to say in front of the parents, or was it a way to rip you off at the mall.

Really anybody. Anybody here ever hang out with some rich parent dicks and not get ripped off. Anyone, I mean did you get a free book after the parents invested in the album or movie you like before it was released.

Remember when it all comes down there entire life as cards they’re going to want to blame it on you. It’s going to come down to them blaming you or God. God is a person too he has enough shit on his hands for any person to handle.

So there is will be blame God for something you do. Or take responsibility for your actions.

My being responsible is not laughing too hard at them as they all caught A.I.D.S. and died.

Ahhhh cadets that’s were the real fun was.

Excuse me I just had a space cadet moment. Like us yesterday. When I like most people drifted into a world we’re it was like everybody listened. Now I know you people make fun of me for not carry about shows and stuff like that like you want me too.

I care I care about having something to talk about. Like if you blind or deaf or you know or care about someone who is or does. Then you should give them a call or help them out. This is way beyond the normal shit. They got cheesy motherfuckers trying to get them to deliver their cheesy mother-fucker shit. They most have lost their main dealers somewhere. They’re looking for some people with no eyes, no ears, and truthfully with a fine sense of smell.

I mean what was it man the K.G.B. what took them out. Was it you was it me? You think they know, you think they’d believe. Nah not me. Never try to make sense with a person who is trying to be a potato. They’re not very good at it. But they try really hard.

Time before matter.

That’s how I guess. Nothing more. What is more about what I can do, what I’m really like. Is he really up tight. Private person. Am I shy. Verily complicated. It, verily, means, sometimes I’m complicated and sometimes I’m the most easiest person to get along with. Verily like if math went from 3 to 7 then there was an x and x could equal from 3 to 7 then that would be a very verily x. an x that went from 3 to 6. Well you get me. You do the math.

It’s that simple. Life is that simple. I must go one. Shy no complicated. Fuck yes. Actually if you look at physics all alone, I guess you could tell that I’m very extremely complicated. Then someone will come along and solve a big one and hey it’s still calculus to some people but to many I’m less complicated.

The physics of electricity moving through something very small. Compute. He he. I care I really care I really do. I hear your sad. I hear your lonely. I know you care. For something like that to change takes time though. People aren’t robots there not machines. You want real change non of that fake shit. Then you got to wait, cause there are people out there just like you. Waiting hoping dreaming to meet someone like you.

Time what is time when you have all the time in the world to time. Could it be another way to get with me. That’s what it’s all about. What’s with the differences with the different sides of me. They aren’t in conflict. Some people like some parts of me more than others and that is what I’m all about.

I’m the friendly guy. The last time I check there was only one person on this earth I came into it wanted to screw. I changed that they sold out. Onto the bigger better life. Esperanto, I’m all done. Would I go back to someone who sold out. Fuck no!!! They’ll do it again it worked out so good the first time.

Remember if all they have left is you taking them back to complete their version of the perfect life. Then they’ve probably done stuff that no cow would forgive and they sure the hell didn’t put you on the top of their list. So could it possibly be that some mad ass woman has separated you from her in order to get with her.

Mad ass, mad ass mad ass.

Hahhah hahhh hahhha hha. The hardest thing old school freaks have to do is not laugh in their face. And if you have a badge, not a fake one, you really don’t even have to do that.

Nature

So far in my life I love nature more than any man or woman I’ve ever met. To the point of structures made out of natural substances. I don’t have to say I don’t know what it is. I know what some of it is. Some of it is the being alone thing. Many people might say that God is all alone when he is all alone. No actually sometimes I’m so never alone it would freak some "young" people out.

Being alone in nature though is the biggest. There is a people who understand me. Peace. Real peace non of that fake ass shit. Real peace is like the summer morning when you see the rabbit on the way to being killed. You know he’s done something wrong. His clan has forsaken him. He no longer exists to them almost to his or hers very mother. Off he goes to destroy the morning calm. The killing of him might take till late in the afternoon. He’ll go though, and the woods will go on. It’s peaceful in the morning. No one wants to here from the humans. I’m a freak. How did you know I was God. How do they know. Like I said I’m the freak.

I get to experience the, "You really are you." It’s not just fake. The real deal. Fun Bri. Interstellar-Bri. Right there in the woods. Fun!?? You ain’t seen fun, if the woods outside of a nuclear power plant can remember me, What’s your excuse.

Like if you had a long lost friend and you hadn’t seen them in a long time. Especially if you met them when you where an adult. They show up and guess what. They’re the same. A little bigger that summer. A little more pumped up. There though, the personality they fell in love with.

That’s the way it works the whole fucking thing, my mind. I build things and if they love me they are a "keeper". Like the forest the trees. Even annoying little bugs.

Love is a two way street for most of you. All of you really. But me, that’s what. I build things, some that move and shake. And if they fall in love with me. I keep them They’re keepers, should they pass away or fall away, I’ll find them. There is no other way.

Here’s a glimpse at my personality, for younger people out there. Not once have I met a bad, I use the word bad, person who loved me. I’ve seen a few rotten fruit on a bad day. But never never has a bad person ever loved me. It would go against they’re very nature.

Fake it in public. Make others think they feel that way. That shits as old or older than the house I’m living in.

I mean I’ve seen people command whole armies to their very rotten death, all based on them, that man convincing them that I loved him. That I reached down from heaven and loved him. No I’m some sort-a weird-o… freak. Humanity just like the woods. That’s the world we are heading too.

If you’ve ever been there ever hunted ever tried to grab the wrong fish. I can tell you it’s a scary experience. They no like. To go in there and try to take wom-enthing out that doesn’t want to be taken out. Not good ain’t going to happen. Just like in the real world. It gets worst and worst. Don’t try and learn about evil. It wont help you and it sure the _______ wont help me.

Ever seen dear cross the road when you have time to drive slow. To really pause the car and see them lead their young across the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that care out of a human being. Not once so far in my life.

Maybe it comes from licking each others arses. Who knew. A sense of humor too. They like it tough. They live in packs. They care about each other. Failure is failure. Just like in the real world.

Ahh Real Life

I’ve made a decision that affects a whole lot of countries. The three closest countries will now behave as if I said now right away, must change to say. There’s probably about forty offices world wide going, Great, excellent. Something to do with the day. But no we have to listen to traitor. The liar of faith. He'’ wicked ways, because of this because of that. No Dude real God real personality.

You ever notice how many people walk up to me like they have my time clock or like they talk to me like I’m their wife, or worst husband, or just don’t know how to behave. God dude. That’s right no bouncing it off the TV, no other excuses or things. Just God. You talk to him/them like they’re God. If your having your holy day please avoid me. I’m a very holy person but You’d be a where. Because technically I could be having a holy minute too. Might be healing the sick in a foreign country or something like that.

You never know what a mind like mine is up too. You never do. I might be dreaming about how. Bob and betty get themselves out of the double death trap or I might be thinking. No shit that’s like asking a guy to walk a mile on a tight-rope. I’ll come up with something different. Shit if your escape someone else with the woman you love then I better have Them all covered eh!? All the possibilities. One chance what are we supposed to do, wear tights.

The Elaborate Cover

I have no cover. I’m what you call a spy or an agent. The smartest thing I’ve ever seen a country do. Make me not an Israelite. "King of Israel" coming though" Yes in most countries I’m God and that’s it. It’s fun, if you haven’t clued in yet. I love being God. Kindness I love people who are kind. Kind and love me, you’re a keeper. Now as I was saying. I have a real job in my country and that my friend is smart. Excellent couldn’t be brighter. I’m also God here. Being God’s been my secret identity so long it’s almost as much fun blowing that cover as it is being God. Now most counties get the God and that’s good that great.

Kind each and every day. Sometimes being kind is staying home and making the suffer. So that is that the rest of the world is pretty much stuck with me being God. If I see your country it will be as a person on vacation and I better be treated that way. God, down, and on with the beauty that makes your country great.

Why is your country great. What makes it not the country beside it. Why is your country the greatest. What makes a Canadian drewl on a bad day and go yeah we got the sun on a Good day.

I’m in heaven!!? Well shit the last time I checked you were in heaven too. Sorry it couldn’t be perfect, sorry it’s not everything you’d hoped it be. Of course I’m not finished. I’ve got thoughts about things. People who ascended. How are they going to get a S.I.N. were do they find employment. We’ve got real problems, real life. Real things going on.

I mean shit you think it’s all over and we’re done and we pack it up and go home. I know your used to taking the lose. Used to me being kidnapped. Beat on shipped somewhere and returned in a paper back.

All those passes cards and rules. Great shit. But where is the average citizen in such a world. Illegal citizen ship. That’s what it looks like. I mean some serious fucken workers here. Real people who’ll love real rules. All that’s great.

In case the world hasn’t noticed. It’s the year 2003 A.D. here and well you need to realize that I think it’s great that your clean up after world war two. Mean while though even in kidnappedtivaty I’m moving on going forward. Real life must continue. Who’s waiting for them. The people who break the rules. Shit they can get you a job a roof over your head in no time.

We’ll wait. I know I’d wait. Of course will I wait forever. No. That’d be stupid. Will I wait a week a month a year. What will go on in that time. Are the people who look after those things going to be so busy looking at their TV or out their window to do their work. Shit man there’s no need for new departs and special services for that stuff. Real persons in real jobs going. Yeah I can handle this but I need more.

You start from the top like in any company and you work your way down. Till the lowest person at that office knows what’s going on. What’s going down.

Real life real miracles. The hardest part the average citizen has around here is realizing that if they haven’t seen a miracle in a week; they still have to know what miracles can take place. Magic nature call it a butt wipe if you have to.

In this city sometimes the hardest thing is to realize that miracles other than people disappearing do exist. Might seem strange. Might be the bizarrest thing you’ve ever seen. Maybe even the smile of the right girl on an otherwise lost to "the man" day.

What Is God?

What am I. Let me see. I’m a person place and thing. I move so I guess I’m a verb too. Do I do things While I move yes. So I guess I’m an adverb. Do I change my mind about things. Yes I guess I do that too. Even about what happened if you look it that way. So I guess I’m a conjugating as well.

People know of me they follow who I am. So I guess I guess I’ve got personal pronouns as well. Interesting isn’t it. Is there anything left really. I’m all those things and yet there were people who would try to find the thing I can’t do and fit that into their life. Gee’s there really isn’t that much time left for them.

Even with the day Job, I have more rights than anybody else in this city. Include the God factor in that and I guess your pretty fucked. Not much I can’t do. You might ask if God can do so many of those things, how come I can’t… fly or something? Well just because I can do something doesn’t mean you can do it. That would be silly. I’d never try and do something like that. Would I. Nah that’d bee silly. Like if I made a world once were everybody was equal. Then in time even in that world I’d start to stand out. I’d become slightly more powerful and different. Almost as if what I was was what I was and no matter what I did it wasn’t going to change that.

Funny really. There’ve been three of those other worlds. They all failed. The goal or idea of being just another human being is unknown to me. Stupid, no! Not stupid just a being out there in space trying to make friends. Make friends sounds kind-a strange when you think about it. But yes I’ve tried it. And some of the stuff we enjoy here is a result of it. What is a light bulb if you were the only person in the world if not a friend. What are toys to a child, friends? Mostly for me at least. Not because I don’t have any friends, but because that is what life was like for a while. (for me.) me and the other light bulbs hanging around trying to be each others friends. I know sounds dumb sounds stupid. But hey it worked. We had a good time.

A car, a way to get from point a to b. What is that if not a combination of friends. How are the light bulbs and the machines getting along. Probably not that well. They weren’t designed for you. They were designed for us all hanging out.

We used to be metal. We were all bond together and we moved and changed shape and became different shapes. But of course though in time. There were no sections or pieces. Let’s say an area grew different than the rest and well it wasn’t good because that metal wasn’t designed to have any differences. When the differences showed up it went against the master designer. The master designer was inside the metal and there wasn’t time from the master designer to inform them that I was the master designer. So it fucked up. Ate it self you name it. "Not Good"

Then there was adventure. I made myself so different that I would stand out in a crowd of anybody on any planet. How’d that work out. Not as bad actually. I could get laid to save a heep. Sex wasn’t invented. We just basically went around killing each other. Good times. Of course eventually it had to end. In a concept that was based entirely on, to kill, well can you imagine. I was pretty good. I knew what I was doing? Doubtful. One slice of my blade and whole army disappeared. So then it was off to see a king I should have said the king. Anyway he wanted to learn how his troops (they called them men), back then. Could do the same. I knew I was God, but I knew it would never be the same. So what did I do I refuse to tell any body. I waited till me and my friend were all alone and I told him. It killed him. End of program. I had forgotten or couldn’t remember, because of the pressure, of the king what the kill switch was. So nope that was it telling them I was God was the kill switch and I told my friend and he died. All hell broke loose. And I was far enough away that I died a merciful death.

I guess I won. I guess I did come up with the concept of friend. I knew what it was and I went packing. I mean some serious kick ass planning. This world might have been built in seven days. Check out light, hint hint. But the planning. That’s what all this waiting for things like flying, well I don’t know if you’ll fly. That’s what’s taking so long for stuff like that though. I know it seems like a long time to some and to others,,, no it’s a long time. Well that’s the thought though. A lot of planning. A lot of knowing were I’m going to be. A lot of people might have tried to stop me. But that wont happen. For one thing the time reset takes about 1.3 seconds so you can imagine how long it really takes me to be able to do all this with a couple of sticks and a pair of tweezers.

Remember I didn’t give up on the "bulbs" I didn’t give up on metal. The adventures though. I’d have to say that’s were friends were created. Of course since the creation of sex, romance, and rock and roll. Everything should be all right.

Language. Did I say adventure. I meant to say language.

Heh, heh silly me. I hope that didn’t start any fights.

I’m caught In A Mystery

Well I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I put the first part of this book up there on the web. It seems like a lot of people think I’m done. Sad really I’d only just begun to talk about my self. You see though I’m caught in a mystery. Many babies are being conceived. Many thoughts are being consumed.

What else can I say. One God for ever and ever. Not yet. "I ain’t all there." I’m just past who on my way though what. I think I might have a personality split. Maybe I could get myself to listen to Lizard. Ripped in half. It’s, "to me" a song about when you racing, trying to get a lot of things done. The all of a sudden you hit upon a choice that has two choices and you feel about 50% towards either way.

Funny really. If you ever get there sober it’s quite sombering. I had one once were I paused for many a moment. Time minutes. Drifting by. I could have easily thought of many thoughts or possibilities. The thoughts though just kept going over and over though. I chose to look at them that way. Quite fun. Ripped in half. Sometimes having any choice at all back in the eighties would leave a person ripped in half.

For now I’m ripped in many particles. Floating voids forming shape and becoming the wishes and substances need to get a few people through an otherwise difficult situation.

Ahhhh peace.

Autobiography

Autobiography. Nah this can’t be that. I can’t do the auto biography. I gave it a go once and what I discovered was this. It would take me about ten pages to sum up a night I had over ten years ago.

That’s a lot of writing. For anybody. That was not even the most interesting or entertaining evening. So there there will be no autobiography. I hope you, my loyal fans get a kick out of the movies and some of the books out there about me. Like the fake auto biographies. The This is how God thinks and acts movies. Truthfully I hope they sink. I hope they sink ships and vessels. Me I know who I am, I don’t need to see some carneis version of who I am paraded all over the television or the movie screen.

Last time I check hitler was the only one who made movies like that. Let’s leave it there. Let’s leave it in the past.

Evil folks, evil. Last time I checked I wasn’t evil. By the modern definition. Any Knight, Any warrior with a badge and a gun would be considered evil. People who fight for freedom. Ideals a country holds dear. They’re not evil. Their right.

I can only hope that your discovery of who I am, while your involved in the who you are is as fun for you as it was for me. What is fun eh. Finding out you can crawl yourself out of a murder hole and smile about it the next day. Passing your drivers license. The screaming agony as you know you’ll miss the next turn and you’ll find your self frozen in time. Wondering what the fuck anybody ever taught you about life. Did they know life were they ever alive. Maybe that’s the difference.

I can imagine what it’s like to be human. I know you all so well, but it’s not the same as being human. Faith!? Not being human is about floating. It’s about finally being able to be cold. It’s about floating and disappearing and coming back. And maybe next time having time to get a bag of chips for someone you love.

What Am I? What Is God.

You see yes, I’m caught up in something pretty big here. The biggest of bigs if you ask me. In the middle of it right while it’s going on though. I’m becoming myself. Everything God is. Every love fiber of my being. Everything that makes God God I’m becoming. That’s just the what, wait till we get to where. It’ll be fun.

You see I’m very glad to stay here, and I’m sure there are a lot of theories about what people are made of and how it relates to God. Like going way back and all that. The truth is though. My existence is so different than yours. Ill always be more different. Is becoming more different and apparent everyday.

Real fun just like in the real world. They’ve been trying to destroy this party for so long. Like your son’s and daughters birthdays. How they try and crush those simple joys’ by trying to take them away. Me, though, God. I know when you see your son up there working or raising kids of their own. I know that your "freaking out" as we say.

You’re a success. I know that’s a terrible word these days. That’s what it is when you’ve done that you’ve succeeded. Maybe your of the other camp though. You’ve had a son or daughter switch over. Don’t give up. Until we shoot the fucker and the bodies been blown off the face of the earth or they are dead. If you don’t have a "badge and a gun." Don’t give up.

I’ve seen addicts quit more stuff than the biggest addicts. It can be done. Until then though. It’s another dollar. Another bit of information. More movement all on the other side. And they will lose.

Who raised you, how did you get by. I can only hope that the generations to come that have the huge advantage of me being here, "long time". Live up to our hope of what they can become. They aren’t gong to have as long to make their mistakes. They are going to have too many friends to hang out with over there on the "dark" side.

I ramble though. What is it about rambling. You know I was thinking something absolutely funny last night. I’ve been going on about how much I love myself. True. The it occurred to me. I don’t actually talk about myself too much. It’s at most a story I’ve done. Or a story about someone else told though a song they did or the neighborhood they are from.

I’m thinking to myself. I must talk about myself sometime. I’m not just a series of commands. Then we’re going out to the car and I’m doing it while thinking about it. I’m talking about the record done then or the thought I had then. Now I’m thinking that maybe it’s the time of year. So I’m looking forward and thinking about all I’ve heard or been through. Funny really.

Maybe your thinking if I stayed with the right woman long enough I might change that. I mean maybe. I think that ship sailed though. I mean my mind alone is "C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D". I can’t image, the things I’m going to have to worry about with her.

First. I have to worry about not blowing her face off with my exhalation. The not to burn her face off with my voice. Spontaneous movement. Have to be careful about that. Once in a while I have a thought, rarely really rarely. Usually I have thoughts. You could choose to look at them as a series of thought but they are really usually just a thought that is more than one thought. Then I suppose there are thoughts that are a series of thoughts that are a serious of individual thoughts. An I guess it’s possible to surmise that these thoughts can be verying number for the individual ones or strength for the others.

So my breath, my voice, my solidness. My mind bending need to know the truth about my self. To very mystery… Can you see me with a woman that had to here the end of every thought I expressed. I’d never get to take a breath.

The other two things I can think of off the top of my head; One is the fact that I move around very fast. I’m very careful about the floor and that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily have to make sudden moves. And moving important things when she’s in the can will just have to be something I start to do.

The other thing I was going to mention was the idea that I can, emphasis on can, change the speed or the topic I’m talking about very fast. Like motron fast.

Well maybe not motron fast.

The other one and I can not emphasize this one clear enough. Is the fact I mean flip fucken real fact, know when I’m listening to a bad idea. Like if she was to come in with a bad idea for a trip or the date of the trip or a bad location, on vacation or something like that. I know it. I mean I flip fucken freak know it.

Never have I even to my knowledge even slept with someone who understood this. It’s like the master of I love you I love you turns into the ugly monster from down the street. Nothing worst. Ho yeah and I’m always right.

That doesn’t mean that when I’m hanging out at a shop or a sitting place. What we call the village in the modern world. That I always let them know the truth about their thoughts our their actions. I think even that I’m getting use to this idea that I might let them seem to be right about something. It might make me feel better.

I don’t know what that’s like. In fact I hope I don’t know what a lot of things are like from a human perspective. I’m not human. Nope not me. Not human. God.

Me God. I know I’m a one woman man I know it. Because if you look at the causes of divorce in a normal straight world and you take the things I’ve’ talked about. Too perfect always right. About everything etc. Then you can guess what it’s like to be around a person who tries to be that way.

Okay perfect, I mean it’s not always easy to be perfect in bed. It’s going to happen things are going to go off before, like you’d want them to etc.

Ohh the stuff I could tell you not form my personal experience. The things I know the dark hidden secrets of the couples that stay together. Sex smexes let’s get down to the booty.

I will now insert a picture in an effort not to ostracize the other half of the human race.

Me, Me, Me

We will pause soon in this book of mine for "the laws" of relativity to catch up. It’s fun to discover what I am. I think it is fun. Was it fun to discover who I was. NO fuck no. It wasn’t fun at all. You made it not fun. People tried very purposeful to make it not fun. A rich persons birthday was spoiled. Hey let’s fuck over Jesus for the bad birthday. What the fuck he’s only Christ you know shit like that. Bye bye, just the way I like it.

You have no idea how much I hate people like that. Absolutely hate them from the biggest brightest human to the lowliest of trees straight down to the center of the earth. People and people like them.

Anyway that’s about as much time as I spend on my hate. But if your reading this and your countries all dried up. Lie a desert or something. Or there are too many hills to cross. You better keep that in mind I never forget.

I mean fuck I’ve got storms brewing for people yelling at my window. It was fun to find out who. And I’m not just talking about a name here. We’re talking the real deal. Like reading the bible and you know it's’ me. And I like look at the world and go. Shit, I am just as strong. Even stronger, some of that stuff used to take twenty, ten years. Now fuck half the death going on is instant. I don’t get it. (well I do). Over here they blame it on TV. What’s the excuse over there. I mean I can see a few dinks praying for the cold to come back for a joke or something. But like say I take out a large farm land in Africa. I don’t want to hear them wining about it for ten years. They did something wrong live with the consequences. Grow up. Pretending to be God. Todays, underground (hint hint) government. Is the most pathetic excuse for not living in the real world I’ve ever seen.

Anyway like I was saying that was discovering who. Like when I wrote in my book the plan. The high holy one. Like me up on a hill. All by myself. That is what it was like. Why didn’t I tell my friends I knew. Because I didn’t trust half of them and I didn’t trust the other half of them around the ones I didn’t trust.

Anyway, who what a hoot. What though. I don’t know seems a little different. For one thing it seems like our countries getting it ands back. Don’t fuck with a Canadian they said. They used to like that, the friendliest people on earth. For that reason alone they shouldn’t be fucked with. I mean that’s "old school"

What am I, girlfriend, good-guy fun. So much fun you don’t want to fuck with it. I mean shit if it’s wrong to fuck with a friendly, what’s it like to fuck with a good friendly person like me. Not good.

I just thought of something funny. You know how I was going on about my early attempts at life. You should have seen the fun I used to have before all this. I mean one time I’m there and I decide to invent this wheel thing that the more it "spun" the more "joy" I’d feel. Of course I didn’t put a brake on the thing. Sure enough. I mean fuck I like fun, but this thing just kept going and going. Turn it off I’d of said but who would have heard.

Don’t get me started on the attempt to shift to pain to get the thing to stop. Fuck funny. Hey, I guess I used to swear a lot back then. I trying to think of a really funny one. Okay fire before there was anything to burn besides myself. That was funny. Of course I didn’t stay gone for long.

I practiced Kung-fu on my own for thirty years. Cool, think about it I hadn’t seen a girls ass so it wasn’t like I’d thought of much else to do with my time. It’s weird though. Do you think it was associated with that first disappearing thing. No the third one. And I’m not even talking about the third try language thing.

It was adventure, trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You see people start to think there are higher powers than me because I can’t see everybody I’d like to in the world at the drop of a hat. The truth is. My times sort of bound up here. You know, if like your at home and your waiting for your kid to come back. Maybe, I know this sounds like maybe I’m being tight with this, but maybe he’s on a list. Because it all relates to reality. Like dude, I know the expression I’ve seen some shit in my day, is becoming the coming place. But real life is I try my fucken hardest. That’s the truth. Every fiber of my being is based on I know I gave it what I had to give. Safely at home or starving in the woods. I know I love myself. Never wanted to do anybody any wrong. So I try and I think maybe there is a neater side to this TV generation, or what ever their excuse is. People aren’t walking up to me to ask them to reassemble there, let’s say, left kidney at the drop of a hat. I mean shit yes. It’s on the burner. All that sort of thing. But you’ve got to stop paying the man. Go back to being regular, go back to being normal. No extra money for them. If I find a way to find and reanima-teleportate your kid back to you. Beat the shit out of them for putting though such shit to begin with.

Humor warning; try not to cut off a limb though, it might have taken me all night to re-animate that thing.

Ohh if our reading this off the internet or something like that. And the format is different than what I first put it in. It as I type it is like one side of those old testament bibles.

The real deal, real God writing the real bible.

Ohh yeah, crapulence crapulence look out for the crapulence. I invented new words before and I can do it again. So don’t push me. I can take being me. Can you take not being necessary. I decided to undo the idea of people helping crating this world. We all went and got jobs when you weren’t looking. Ha ha.

The jokes on you. It’s fun to be real fun to understand why we’ve been screwed over. I’d just like some other people to join me over here were we know it wasn’t the government and all that. Life is not fake. Let’s deal with it and move on with our lives.

And government and all that should try their very best not to fall for old stories from old drunks about how they are the chosen ones. Do I see someone crossing a boarder because they keep saying they are "the chosen one". Grow up.

Like the bitch singing about lucky.. When the fuck did the Brittany Spears hour start running the show. It’s easy to se a world were just God runs the show. It’s as easy as one two three.

So we could try living by our own rules. I mean if you could see the phoning between the filthy rich. I use the world wisely. It’s like watching a bunch of fourteen year olds talking about wanking to Jesus. But they don’t know the words so they just talk and giggle. That’s a lot of fun when you are young but when young are older. You know an din charge of things with real responsibilities. Then it’s time to behave that way. Like real live people living their real live jobs were they earn their real live pay checks. Or "get the fuck out-of dodge".

Ahh, Me, Beautiful Me.

Hi, You might have thought I got sick of talking to myself or that the "laws of Astor-physics" may have prevented me from writing anymore. Isn’t nice that almost all the people who where concerned about this law have gone out and made it worst or harder to continue. Jealousy. They are silly people.

Anyway I’ve already prevented most of what they thought would occur. So I may continue. What is out-there. What came before earth, what was the planning. I already mentioned the fire thing. I wonder what else. Tables chairs. Sure I guess. I don’t really remember sitting on any tables before earth though. Or light bulbs or time or any of those things. Just me. Me me me. Beautiful gorgeous me.

I must say I enjoy myself very much. I am a good person. I give people a chance at life. Many people take it. I enjoy giving people that chance. I once gave myself the gift of eternal life. In a shape. It was very fun for a very long time.

Of course there was the part about not being able to shut the me down. I turned into a lot of thoughts and emotions inside that thing. If a table or a chair gives you a lot of thoughts or emotions that I probably came up with them before too. In there though the only things that would give me thoughts or emotions were feelings.

Have you ever had a feeling. It’s quite fun. First take away anything solid or monetary giving you any thought. Than base your feelings on something someone emotional did. If you think any differently than you did before. Than you have had an emotion.

They flow from one person to the next. In the beginning if no one had an any emotion than you wouldn’t have any either. Unless I did of course. So I suppose you could be getting your emotion from an original source. Or from me. You might find that strange. I do not. I came prepared. I brought my own emotions just in case the emotions I’ve left behind have grown stale.

Anyway as I was saying about feeling or feelings. Say you felt a certain way about that emotion. Well that emotion that gave you feeling is I guess part of me learning what. Cause guess what. That’s me. Hate love passion sexual turn-on. The way the light makes a certain ass look totally hot and another ass look but naked but awful. That’s the light the moon the stars all turning around and dancing though-out time making one ass look better and one ass look wimpier.

Really quite a bit of fun. I enjoy bending light. I enjoy the entire process of being me. I am me. Well recently I’ve decided once again to make a female me. I wont tell you why.

We get together. And she tells me what she knows and well I’d say I tell her what I know but their really isn’t a her, I guess that would be stupid. So in the end we both know each other and you.

It’s funny really I know everybody every thing every fiber of everything in this universe and what it’s thinking. I know how this thought makes most of the week asses squirm. At least around here. I know I know, I know. Now I’m finding out what I can do. I’ve seen who I can do. Who was fun. I thought who was what I was going to be in a way. Now I’m getting into what.

Can you make me teleport? "sure Did you miss your sons birthday?" What birthday? Oh I guess you were too busy teleporting.

Sad really but hey if you think that is what life is all about. I thin if I was a human I’d ask what I might be missing by doing things the easy way all the time.

There are only two types of people who will be going to hell to be very honest. Those that find life too easy. And those that find life too hard.

Ohh did I make the world too hard for you today. Tell it to the judge. Did I make your life too easy. Tell it to my spine I’m sure it could do with the break.

Couldn’t give a fuck. Couldn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t say it as many times as I’d like to I couldn’t give a fuck.

Amen couldn’t give a fuck.

Of course many people give thanks everyday. For just the day sometimes. Many times it’s life. Many many things people thank me for are based on life. Food, warmth, rain.

Truth is though. Humanity could learn a lesion from earth. Thank me for ruling.. You know, as I was saying I love the earth. I love it’s natureific fun side. I love it’s weather beaten earthy side. But one thing I really love about it is it rules.

Even earlier today. A "raven" was chirping outside my window. It brought up this huge discussion about pigeons parks, crying, not talking about crying. Who’s crying. It rocked. I mean a couple of chirps, and you get all that. I think that is great. You know I was just talking to the earth about I really should be ruling it, not "ruling". Remember that old eighties expression "rules." Rules everything rules. Something harmful happens to someone you don’t like. That rules. You hear a great song with a girl you doing. That rocks. Funny I just thought of it that way again. Everything not quite right, with the wrong woman over and over for the rest of your life. That is funny.

Anyway rule. Rule. Rule. You really had to hear the earth though. It argued it’s point very well. Do I really rule it. We’re not talking about he people on it now or the plants or anything. I suppose at some micro point they do connect. Or do they!! Anyway as far as actually sunlight earth planets and alignments and all that I "rule" and the "ruling" does the ruling. Ever notice if God’s (me) is having a bad day the sun light everything really cuts down a little. I notice around here it’s a little more than usual. That has more to do with personal safety though. Anyway that’s that sorry about. But that stuff is ruling and when it’s not being ruled it doesn’t get ruled as well.

I can really see where this whole mother earth thing is from. Me being masculine and all. I suppose it must look like I’m fucking this thing most days.

Really though everything we see everything you are. Everything that is in the universe. It’s all in my mind. Except for the who. The what is almost here too. Then the when and the where will be in my mind a thought I had once about people and parties. Waiting to form and become me. It’s funny really. I love being me. I’m the greatest person I’ve ever met.

Do you feel that way too. That you are the greatest person you ever met. You’ve go to really. If you’ve ever met any famous people it’s really quite peculiar. The ones you’d absolutely hate all love themselves. They love being famous and they like rub it on their skin and stuff. You’d think you’d want to puke. Then you see one of their films or what. And you think, that is a good movie, that is a great sound.

The you could meet a famous person that hates its. Their shall I say individual. Can’t give you a quick stereo-type. Different though, Very different people. Let’s just leave it at that.

What Am I Made Of

I ask myself that very question every night. What am I made of. Paper glue. The stuff that bounces off me and sticks on you. Yes I am that person that funny person. I don’t know how strong I’ll become solid. Maybe mean solid. It’s funny though. I’m probably adapting to a situation that will happen latter or a series of situations. It’s funny really squirming wirm-un. And his need to touch himself when he thinks. If I had to laugh at just one person or way of living it would be that…

Anyway I had to laugh. What Am I…. A composite of nuclei bounded at the sub atomic level… Sub atomic meaning pre-formation of reality at this point. Remember your all who. I’m the what. Ha ha ha everything. Anyway. My molecules (pre-atomic nuclei) are probably slightly more bounded at this point in my life than yours. Not longer bounded. Stronger bounded. Same with bones sub tissue you name it. Is what I am what I do. Not always, but it closely relates to time. So aside from time, most miracles thoughts magics movements and stuff of such primitive nature are not ruled by the body I’m in. They are ruled by me. The big me. The men who invented the weird body that wouldn’t die. The me who invented the universe.

Here’s an old joke. It’s been fun, this universe and everything, but I really must be going. I’ve so many things to go to. Ohh I forgot about you….

I know your not supposed to say funny so soon after a joke, but that’s funny. What is I decided to bug out-ta here. You ever think of that. Some people think they know what is going to happen. All the way though. They think they know it all because they read the bible over and over again. Maybe even The plan. And they say to themselves. I know who he is, I know who he is. I’ve got it all figured out. How’d they do.

Not very well. I know the old school word used to be tourist. Let’s call them… hey let’s just not call them. They’ll want to live some day. Someday they’ll shine down on us and we’ll be in a warmer gentler earth, or we’ll be getting a tan. And maybe we’ll think hey they weren’t that bad. And then you might get a burn on your skin or hit a kid because the sun was too bright that day or something like that and then you might stare up at the, well lit, sky instead of blaming me and yell, "you bastards!!!"

Anyway most people don’t have good parents. I think if I might look at my result sheet. That the best thing to have is strict parents or no parents at all.

Strict parents make sense and idiot parents we could all do without. Like the family that may have fed me. You could be forty years old and they’ll still place their hand on your shoulder and go, "son". Doesn’t matter. Dumb as toast. If the price is right. Souls for sale. Sold. So stupid that you could use a two-bye four to prop their eye lids open and they’ll still find a way to put themselves to sleep so they could put a new coat of paint on they’re lies in the morning.

Like hellions. I find their easier to get along with on their road to hell if you don’t remind them too often. Kind-a drives them nuts. Kind-a makes them mad.

Oh the joy I’ll have being neutral that day. Like fuck. Mcfuck. Chicken fuck. But luck.

Guess what! "Chicken butt."

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard in a punk movie. Guess what!? Chicken butt. If you enjoyed the buck buck chicken jokes and some of the others from the past few days. You might find yourself enjoying a movie called suburbia someday. There are only about three fake ones out there. Not a single fake was luck or a fluke. All just to be annoying.

I wonder if A.I.D.S. was annoying. I guess we shouldn’t listen to rich old men and how they think things should be run. Until I’m rich and old. And I guess we should listen to people who stand in the way, If N.A.S. has anything to say.

Using money to "rule" the earth, and or scene. I can’t wait to see you in the A.T.M. line. I hope it’s okay I’ve only had a little practice with this plague and I’ll pestilence you.

This pester me and I’ll plague you. It’s quite new. It’s like a where’s the humanity thing. You see some people try to take our humanity away and we like fight back with A.I.D.S. and stuff. Until your like yelling up at the sky your hot fiery God of punishment after death yelling. "Humanity, where’s the humanity."

Odds are there will be a man there and he will maybe have a cup of coffee from a machine and walk away when you look at him. You might say to yourself. At least my life is more interesting than yours.

And me and the man or woman will probably laugh at that or what ever your thinking. We probably wont let you know though, or at least we’ll try not to. Because that’s the humane thing to do.

Anyway Back to Me.

Being me is learning to fall. You know how your there and you might have to learn how to walk. Then latter you might have to remember how to lift yourself out of a chair. To walk somewhere. Well me, I’ve got to learn how to fall. I know it’s funny. You might think to your self that there are so many things to do. Why would have to learn how to fall. Well it has to do with astro-physics and the thought that I’m becoming what while we’re all who is real.

I know it sounds great all this becoming myself. You know when I become my who. I would usually shed my skin and everything. It’s quite funny. I then turned to myself and thought. Do I ever really even out. I seem to be growing at about the same amount of time it takes to be able to control myself.

You know like how hard you hit a typewriter. Stuff like that. It’s quite a bit of fun. I enjoy the weirdness the most. It’s true. I enjoy turning into shade when I’m hanging. It’s fun. Some people might get to turn into air and reappear latter because their lives are in trouble or something like that. It only cost you time. I get to turn into shadow and kind-a hang there eventually. It’s quite fun.

You see I’ve learned something from all those three other worlds. I can’t be you. I have been you for a while on this earth. And it seems quite human. Quite humane. But I can’t be you. By definition. I’ve got to be me. I know that it’s going to take a bit of time. And I’m "asking", hint, hint, for you to bare with me during these astro-physics things.

Basically as far as man is concerned. I’ll continue to grow smarter, stronger, brighter, even more knowledgeable about what really makes things, human and otherwise. Do the things that they do.

On a personal note, because this book is for me a personal thing. Something I’m doing for myself. I really enjoy the shadow turning and fame becoming and all that stuff the most. I don’t know what it is.

Is it the differences we value between each other the most. Maybe yes maybe no. Me I like the differences. I enjoy the thought of becoming something like fire. For not the sake of finding something out that I knew before I made the freaky thing. But for the sake of just being flame. Maybe it might have something to do with knowing flame is okay. I was sort-a almost smoking against my will. Maybe becoming a shadow was just to see if the shade was okay.

If you’ve ever been on a date with me. I don’t like it when the earth the air the fiber of the trees isn’t just right. It’s got to be just right. It bugs me greatly. I care that they are spraying God awful shit on my plants and stuff. I intend to kill them. Did it once, don’t bother to try. You see your dead. Made someone do it, without them knowing. Your dead. Living breathing dead. No wonder you worship your fiery orb in the sky. Kept on doing it after you found out. Your probably the most rotten of all. Your probably living hell on those around you. And then I’m going to kill you and then your going to die. And then your in the fiery orb in the sky.

It’s cool. My tree still looks hurt. I already told you. I don’t like it when my trees don’t look right. It’s really bugs me. So I guess you could say it bugs me that you made the decision to piss me off and ruin my day and now your going to hell.

Sorry there really is no way for a person not to know doing this stuff is death to them. Like I was saying I’ve lived as a human off and on. And well really if it was any more obvious we’d have to tattoo it on our but and make you into monkey men. So you could fake it at the mall. When you get your groceries, when you pay your taxes. I’m on you twenty four hours a day. Just making it right, just making it great.

The People Who Didn’t Get The Point About Lower Prices.

Your dead. As dead as that person who fucked up my tree or any of those other things. No excuses, no other way out. Dead. Dead fucker. It’s fun. Really I always win. Did you think I failed in those previous worlds and I tried so hard this time to make life and I really thought I’d made it.

No sorry dude I got bored. I had my fun and it was time to leave. And like most people well it’s quite funny. In the light bulb world. They loved me loved my gift of life so much they thought they'd die when I left. And I suppose I never gave it much thought. "I’m leaving, I’m out-a here." And I was gone. Quite fun.

The metal world. "I hate to twist things around,,," Classic!!!!! That was a wash out. As I think about it. When I separated from the mass. I started to drop like I could form something. Go from the metal thing like it was a start of something.

I didn’t do it right away though. But the idea was formed there. What if I took my time. What if I made this world. I’d build it slow like a rock that slowly formed into the earth. Well I was going to take that long in real earth time. And then a funny thing happened.

I was thinking about things that would be there. And I saw this image of a girl. A sexy woman. You know with like man boobs that would really turn a guy on.

So that was it. For the long beginning. I got side tracked and started to create a world based on language. I wanted to simulate that look and that feel. Emotional attachment had not yet taken place. With things that were all me, but not with anything that was in the light bulb, or metal community. Truthfully not with my long thought earth grown from rock either.

The language to describe sexiness and neat lightage though. That all, when I was finished constructing myself into it; became language. Cool eh. Sure I had ideas from, metal and I think quite clearly to myself that there were ideas form the light bulb age, but I could never afford them.

Fun though had a blast. Adventure. Think about always almost loosing world war II and then winning over and over again. Every man living in the end. Well almost. You bore me. I’m out-a here.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying. In live there are things that you like, things that you love even. All sorts of things like that. Things that make you emotional. Things that really turn you on. Like your thinking and feeling and it’s all going wide. Compute, I remember you. You can let it all go though. I know I can though. It’s a joke, a thought, a prayer, and I wake up and it was a dream and everything is cool. I’m okay and I’m the only thing there ever was. NO one died or ever died and it’s all okay. I never invented and then my mind gets going and I think. Or thought. After the end of language.

What is it that makes this darn earth so grabbing. I know I died on the cross. Those of you who believe Christ wasn’t me. Should keep in mind that many people died on the cross. Many, many people.

So anyway, I think that being what instead of out-a here after the life I’ve had so far is more about. Emotional attachment. I’m emotional attached to this earth. Scary. Dig this. I know why. It’s not the trees and the plants the fires at camp. The well almost anything you could name.

I could re do them for a joke. Any tree any place. Really for real, just for a joke.

It doesn’t get tiny and all the other timbers off the hook. Here goes though.

I’m emotionally attached to someone or something causing me to not want to wait the length of time it would take me to recreate the scene or place that created the person or thing. I mean like It’s weird, I could disappear for a joke and turn all this into nothing and still I’d look and it would be the person, personified by me looking at them. No return of the metal world around them. No light bulbs holding up there head while I’m falling down while they read.

No it’s true. This earth is the combo. Growing. Becoming what it is all twisted together. Looked it’s a random song a random entity. Heh, Heh I don’t think the enemy can take the emotional attachment away.

They combo is too great. They don’t go back that far. They week, and we’re the strong.

It’s fun. I mean fun.

Now for some time travel.

Well, I thought I had this great big speech, written down about the woman of my dreams. Turns out that I didn’t write most of it down. I kept most of it in my head. I just wrote a few stupid lines.

Anyway the thought I wonder about now that I’m thinking. Is if one glimpse of Boobage in an other wise normal day. Can cause such chaos. The what’s it going to be like with the real wife.

I go back. I mean I go real back. The thought that this thing is important to me is pretty obvious. I mean fuck. She has to be there or I wouldn’t know that she is.

I know that she is. How much do I know that it’s her and am I that excited back there in the partial what, the when and the where.

I’m having a great time. Fun. Real fun. I mean. Boobage. After we’re together and I know it’s her. Will it be the end of the Boobage and the begging of the man-age. It might be. Maybe that’s another reason to look at the who and the how long and the what. And go maybe just go. Hey. This calendar is pretty good. This is a where right here. What ever one your using.

Funny really all your thought and ideas about how this world could have been a better place. Not really, not for me. You see I never knew I’d be so emotionally attached. But now it seems like I always knew. I came up with the plan then. The who the what the when the where.

Brian and the high holy one just hanging out. All those Brian’s getting a break. All those people who knew I was the high holy one at the time. Not ,any not really. Just a bunch of crazy people who thin they run the show.

I have to laugh at he people who remind me… "You’re God !!! Do you know what your doing….? Watch your strength…!’

They’re like circus people at the circus who yell at the person on the tight-rope.

They wan the person to fail. They wan the person to die so they can have a story to bring home to talk about.

That or they never really thought about it. Just a person risking their life so that they might have a better day. Just another arse hole who is better than them.

Funny really though. The ones who would really be up there. Some if they weren’t scared right out of their skull. Others for other reason’s. But the ones who really would. Are usually the ones who are watching having a ball at the thought that the person "makes it".

And once in a while they make the audience scared so that they remember not everybody was there to have fun. Some wanted the person to fall. They wanted the person to fail. Never though. It’s funny to think of the tiniest person who it’s all based on looks.

They don’t want them to fall because that person might not look as good if they did. Isn’t that funny.

A lot like porn actually. Everybody wants the person or people to look enough like them to get turned on. But then they don’t wan them to look too much like them because they might, "look like a porn freak and get carted away by the circus people."

You bastards turning the circus into some sort of gene harvesting organization.

Maybe if you never sprayed a……

What Am I?

I have to laugh. Right now about 54% of your governments money is being spent on keeping me down. By people who wanted to help. By people who thought that the right thing to do was keep God out of it.

Anyway. It’s funny. You ever notice that in comic books they always seem to say . These days. "What am I?" I’m ______Man. I have to laugh. That is the funny part. Every hero. Every U.F.O. Every weird freaky occurrence. All weighed and measure, all in an effort to what. I don’t know the original sin concept on the topic; to take away the mystery. Maybe they thought that when I wasn’t here or something that I might think that and that wasn’t as bad. I don’t know. I know what most people think. I know what I think.

If you are having trouble, having to solve everything down into what did this and what did that. I recommend two things. More sleep. Or if your married. Get laid. I mean above the average sex, that is.

What am I. I know it’s funny I keep going to the molecular level, myself. More complicated. Yes, but no. Being more complicated would actually be quite, "not good", when it came to the time travel and all that.

I Don’t know. I’m different though. I know that. The weirdest thing going on in my life right now is this. I’m beginning to have normal, well things. Going to the bathroom more like when a normal human would. Having yawns and naps and sleep and well almost everything, like normal.

This might sound funny. But normally when I’m myself. I’ve got maybe like five months to get everything I’m going to do before the next time done. I’m done with it though. A person can’t live that way. I can’t. It’s lame it’s dome. Lame and dome I wonder how long they are going to be around.

You better get ready for the shit to hit the fan. If everybody was to start talking complete political correctness. Well I don’t want to get into it too much. But if you’ve ver been in one of those neighborhoods were it seems like a leave falling on the wrong side might start a riot. It’s that type of thing.

Funny though. If you live in a great town. You might notice it’s a bit like that early in the weekend mornings. What am I.

I’ve looked at a rooftop and know it was the only way to save someone. I couldn’t teleport up there with just my thought then. But instead of seeing it as a stupid thought a stupid way. I could see a time when I could. In my dreams… maybe. Maybe that too.

If your sitting out there thinking I could or would want to do this because I’ve got some sort of hero thought or hero gene. That’s great and all. Maybe you’ll make a great cop, someday or a soldier. But no I’m God dude. I’m quite curious to see what you guys can do when you really know who.

Why does who become so affected by what you do. It’s because well. I wrote the plan. It’s kind-a all about that. Kind-a about a who_________, what________, when________ and where_________.

Funny thing though. The whole thing is designed to give me pleasure. The earth. I mean it. It’s like my private thing that gives me pleasure while I look on from a far. Of course where I am has been changed. Not much else has. Actually though now that I think about it. I always thought there would be more people after the apple was eaten. I always thought I’d come down to earth. (I did not however think I would get killed by my own people). Anyway…. I also knew I would comeback. Or technically from the time you did come back. You know as a planet, "almost" right down to the original rock. That would grow an earth.

Anyway, after I put a new world back and began the ritual of when. I turned back to ,myself and then it occurred to me. Like I was say. I designed this planet for one thing and one thing alone. To get laid. Sure you might think that is funny. But what is getting laid to God. I dare you not to ask. Cause only a dare fucker would bother trying to see hear or feel the earth the way God does.

Anyway yeah. Here I am on the earth. And It’s going to happen. If this thing was designed to be viewed from above, originally. Now it’s more of an in person thing. And now that I’m becoming what. I can guess a bit about what that is going to be like.

Yes you guessed it. Once all the "little men and women",(private local joke), are done making their little appearances. Then it’s going to be really kicking in. The what I love about the world. The who I’d see in the world. The thoughts, hopes and aspirations of those around me all drawing near. Turning into a big gem of an invention. That I the greatest inventor of all time have come up with.

Cool eh! Motron God. Super God. The being of God. I’m so God it’s french. I love God. I’m being God. If I was anymore God. I’d get a tattoo that said God, paint over it in black and put an interstellar-bri-guy tattoo on my arm and laugh when I got it done.

What is it about being God I love so much. I love it when it rains on time. I love it when the park smells right. I love it when the sun sets and the moon shines down and I catch it.

I love the sound of music. I love the thought that I’m God I made that everybody I love or care about is going to make it. I love the fact that if the french-fries want to spend all their time fighting and fucking I’m fully capable of running the whole fucking thing myself and we can have a grand old end with out them.

I love it when I get into my hair and it actually looks like it should. I love it when all the kids who dress like me and try to be like me die. I love being not racist, not loudmouthed and truly really really out there.

I love being me, ergo I love being God. Do I love you do I care about you. Remember this book is all about What and Who.

Remember how many people died during when I was who. A.I.D.S. was a good word they threw on there. All sorts of stuff. Well the shit ain’t over. If your throwing your life in jeopardy please have a right to do so. If you feel that you need to do that just to live, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

The Thought "I" Had On The Way To The Mall

It’s funny you know. I’ve had an amazing day. The kind-a day that is full of the things a person thinks of, that they can’t write. I want, very badly to get into what I’ve called Astro-physics.

Alas though it is not to be. Many other things as well. I’m sure there will be a place and time for them. Maybe your own book, your album your song. Maybe there is a world somewhere where a person isn’t an over night millionaire for hitting the mother load. Maybe some year they’ll listen to the masses.

Alas though I can only say that the things I can’t say are as important as the things I do write. I’m saying that if I could really could I’m the type that would write it all down. Everything I am. Everything I’ll be. That would be me. And it wouldn’t be naive or stupid or any of those things because there wouldn’t be "those" people around.

What is she though. Why am I so obsessed with this woman. How can the though of her pull me out of a crazy ain’t going to make it time in my life. "What’s it all about".

Well I know three things about her that make her my wife. One two three, please tell me. For one she makes me me when I am me. When I’m totally me and everything is okay and it all makes sense. She is me. Then when I’m not quite myself, like someone totally famous has died, or the thing I do for a living doesn’t make sense. She puts me into being me. I’m me again. I can do these things without her, but I can’t quite get it done as fast. Can’t quite be all I can be without her. And finally, remember I know all this because I’m God. She digs the body. Alright loves the body. Not every guy can handle that. In good looking and in bad. I mean that’s what love is.

I dig it. I’m the digger. I love being loved. I know there are thousands maybe hundreds out there that love me. But truly to be in the room with someone that does. Like the her. It turns me on. I’m like freaking out. I want to know the code of my hair and the fiber of my being, because I want to tell her all about it.

Think for a moment. Has anybody ever wanted to be famous and had it not for the girl. Why do I get self obsessed. I can’t answer it all. Hey professor griff why is it the time of the calculator man. Because the hell pisser. The crap that keeps on crapping is. Every body is sick of the shit they keep inventing that everybody is dying off.

I mean it the mirco-wave aside. Does anybody even hear the fact that this shit hurts babies. Are they deaf. Do they not hear the words that are coming out. I mean fuck dude. This can't be solved. Give up. Go home. Let’s find out what they were here for. Get it done with. Over do it. And be done with them.

Humma, I’m kind-a stuck here. I was going to go on and on about what I am. Then of course I can’t quite explain what the science of the whole thing is. I mean shit. I’m sure at the end of this I’ll be glad I didn’t either. Remember the thing about not doing anything too nuts while I readjust the thing with the thing with the thing. Well the thing happened when no one was looking. Maybe a couple of rocks some where haven’t been checked yet, but we’re looking into it.

What is me? It’s fun being me. Real old town home town fun. I love it. I’m the me me. I’m super me. Not super-them. I’m the dude. I did it. I can see an end for everything I created and it’s endless. Eternity. Sure it sounds awful if life is hell and it’s all going down and you hate me your landlord and your dog. Fuck shit happens. Is it happening out of sink.

What about the earth is heaven people. If the dead get pestilence. A.I.D.S. and all that shit. What do the Heaven on earth and the what’s up get.

They get me, for one. Crazy Bri. Fucked up Bri. Superterrific happy hour bri. They get it all going on. Music, time scopeastatic crazy thought making, what just happen there. Is everybody sure they’re not God, except God, God. Great music, fun in the sun. Winter madness. Crazy thought thinking God.

Me, what could be better. You might say to your self. "Hey today is great", maybe I’ll go out and find something crappy to make things more real, heavenly etc. Don’t bother. I’m on it. I’ll think of something. Something out right absolutely disgusting will happen, to the point you will think your in a Billy Idol video.

It’s all going down. No eh. Superterrific-happy-hour-crap. Right now I’m listening to red hot chilly peppers sing about LA I mean it’s a great song. It’s about the shit where sing about writing about. It’s about what is going down. The shit is hitting the fan, heaven on earth and I’m, God talking about a Billy Idol song.

Supperterrifichappy hour. I mean it the real deal. The fast deal for some of you. I love being me. Being me is being disappointed at bands that don’t rock because I know why they don’t rock. It’s about hearing it all and know why they don’t all and caring and giving a fuck. And hoping they get out of jail on the right time and not when it’s time to make a new album time.

Non bullshit time. Real sales real world. People making there won decisions time. Superterrific time. The way to make time.

Here they go. It’s just one hit.

I care so much about me I love them. Do I hate me for loving them. No personally I laugh at people who think I give a shit about a band based on the colour of their skin or anything like that.

Buggie. Super boggie. Get down with the bouttie.

Ahh an angel is reading my letter and she knows I love her. Hopefully the thing about the dead husband will help with the obsession with death thing. If you’ve read the sandman comics I can see why you might have a crush on the death character from the comic. Like I said I did some pretty weird things before this land really got off the ground.

Sure you want to know what they feel like. But are really really ready for when you find out and go,,, oh. Then you might know that they are very different. Paranoid yet. I think so. I here you calling. All you paranoid brothers, so you can have a paranoid moment.

Me on the other hand I love it. I’m making love to myself and it’s like 3o miles an hour but I’m on foot. So I keep it low. Close to the ground. I care. But that shit is going down. All coming down. Who death is done. What death is is just coming down. Hey if you ask me, it’s your threats and dooms and destruction that make it such a rush.

I love being me. Death yeah, I’ll deal with the crushes. You maybe ain’t seen the numbers on the female wank to the death. I’ve got to wonder. I love being me. It’s like one of those things I do. Like breathing. Well maybe after the last bug is done fucking up. The last real leaf has moved the wrong way. The time of year never changing. I guess no maybe death will always be there. Some day your friend taking car of planet earth. Enjoying the all that I am laid down there on paper. The real me. Always going on. Let’s hope way in the future anybody asking why there is death isn’t leading the party. Isn’t walking it down. I care but not that much. I care a little.

Death shemeth, I’m down with the taxes.

"What am I?", You Might Ask

The economic soldier. A person should be able to live on what I make. No two ways about it. No do this do that. A person should be able to get by okay on what I take home. I can’t not really. I can pull a miracle or two out of my hat. But a person should be able to live on what I make and they can’t. That is that. Money shouldn’t require miracles. Money in itself is a miracle. Adding anything to this miracle is a root of all evil.

A very bad thing. I care, yes I do. But what do we do. We wait till its’ safe to put a new economy down. You can’t just wastle though nam. and come up with a new economy overnight. It will not happen. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is.

On a happier note. A few people around where I live understand what I mean by live. Not everybody has the same version of life. It’s a lot like that money miracle.

Anyway those that do like me have a hard time, just you know vegetating. We like to live. It means going out. Doing things. Living in the "now". Having a fun time with it. And of course dealing with the clowns that dress up like us and pretend they are like us while they try to take our money from us.

I could care less really what happens to them, but I’m death. So I deal with it. I make things happen. All messed up with the money thing. The people who are, dare I say, different than us.

I Love The Bauhaus

My favorite Band is the Bauhaus. This is the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I had as much joy listening to any other band. They are the band I enjoy the most. There is no other band like them. They are what I consider the pinnacle of unbelievably good playing. They take the concept of a jam and,, well it’s music after that. Everything I enjoy, or have ever enjoyed though the moments of my life. I enjoy with this band.

Amen to the studios that helped record and put together this music that is the Bauhaus band.

They are the best, greatest band I’ve ever heard. They make me know the thing about different things being the greatest. Presumably not even necessarily at different times. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Say it with me. Like Halloween.

Music music music, to my ears.

I Love Life.

Life rocks. I love it. It’s the coolest thought I think I’ve ever had. At least the coolest thought you’ll ever get to enjoy. I care about myself and you and I’m in a great big huddle getting the universe done. I care about myself and I clean myself. For now. And right now I’m wondering about the closet heterosexual. Their desirous need to feel the press of the opposite sex up against them. I feel them deep in their need not too touch flesh if it’s not going to happen. I mean, who could. The tearing and unbearable nakedness of not caring what the other person thinks or feels when they get home. They are okay. I need to get with them. The them that was at the bar the club or what ever.

I’ve got to press up against that and do what I would do with a real individual. Or the reasons not or why. The real hard core all is connected. Right to the tip. All in one body. What the fuck are you experience.

Rawww. Lickedge.

I differ to the genie in the bottle. I once knew a girl who’s story was so wide a girl who look, not physically, just like her walked by. I asked her out. It was down we were with the right people. Then walked in her sister. Oh my fuck the way she was dressed she’d blow the mind job off a virgin.

I turn back to the girl, who obvious lied, she’s my sister. All of a sudden my date was off and it was her date. What a jipp. What did I do. I went to a party up stairs. I gave what I consider a very good attempt at bringing up the topic of death. I mean you ever try to pull a non-death out of a pumpkin and a well, I’ve seen it done.

Anyway. This other guy shows up. He’s freaked out over this awful book and what it might do to man if it gets out. Even though he’s the only guy promoting it.

Anyway, latter, now for them it may have been like years latter. For me well it was as long as it was that I went without seeing the girl. I don’t know a day. If that. Anyway there I was my little hetero-hidding self. Yeah yeah bar fight what ever. The enlarged childish members were there.

Nights latter after much beer, much not drinking, and making fun of Chinese chickens, I go to lick her skin. I mean a real, barrier between the tongue and the skin, no makeup could create.

I’m talking my cool smoke free tongue, up against the desire to touch that flesh with my tongue. Pressed up against something that is very very old. If you think that flame thing, from earlier in this book was old, was there and I pressed my tongue against that. And that pressed up against her face and well that was that.

There really wasn’t much of a point in going back there. Her story, for me, I can’t over emphasize the for me part, is one probably pasted down from mother to mother. Doomed never to be together, because eventually there will be moments where, my story about her becomes what her lineage would make her story once, even twice or more would be too much. Too pretend. Too much for me to listen to henry and Ralph beating each other up in a bar in the past over and over again. About to them, who she was going to "get with"

Aha till then though. I mean fucken hot. Super Hot. Right the fuck out there, you are either a space cadet, or a non-believer, to not see her beuty beauty.

And yet, vocally I wonder if I really don’t talk about my life that much. I talk about music a lot, and writing, and yet I do think about my life a fair bit. Often when I’m alone I do the heal the sick think. What are you eyes sick. Get with it… Come on they are just sick. You’ve got to help them get better.

Nahh it works that way for some people. I’ve got to thank the people at the bar last night who helped the people walk. I know I appreciate that they aren’t all in the now and all that.

But I thought they were cool. You know me though. Panic mode. Something might not work out. I might say the wrong thing. Or the person who is unsure of what is going on, or too week that day might tell em to stop, or just move or something at the wrong time.

But he didn’t and it did and it did help. And like a lot of first times. Like when you ride a bike for the first time. Some one tell you to stop. I mean your soaring or something because it is dangerous, and you don’t know weather it’s the bike or your dad or the area your riding towards.

Anyway you know me, fuck that shit, I learn to drive the thing on my own. Get the drift.

A lot of fun though. I love to heal, some times even at the end of the endest though, it’s not quite all there, wont quite come through.

I must have not had enough energy, or I spent way too much of it on that thing with the lips and the tongue. I mean it is possible. I know I designed this earth for one thing, now what ever could it be!?

I love myself too much for that. I designed the universe, and the earth for one purpose and one purpose alone. My pleasure. I know I know I’m sure you thought that I was going to say. Your son’s birthday, or The pageant. Graduation. The first time you fixed a 54’ Chevy roadster original motor in front of your friend, way past, what they call Brooklyn.

I know it’s possible you thought I designed it to see the look on your young daughter as she blew out her candles or turned a curve in the drive way.

I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. They are all connected. The whole F-in thing. Every time you see some one cry over someone dear. Every time you help our son take his poop standing. These are the things that go on to help the person, people with any luck, get to that special point in life where it connects. For a second your not, just pleasing yourself, Your pleasing me, and it’s past know that it is and it just is.

And that for me is what life is all about. So If I’ve had some friends that have been though a Shiite time, well it’s my business if I choose to suffer too. As much as I can, or could without affecting the, I know this sounds weird, but the birthdays, the hopes and dreams of other people too.

It’s very bizarre, but if the people who make this the who, what,when,where experience are aloud to take these moments away from everybody. They haven’t just put me in a nut house than they’ve put everybody there. And that can not be aloud to happen.

I know I know, I care enough about what this place is designed for to care enough not to do that every day. But if you think I’d enjoy just floating around with the beatles and the gray skulls or what ever you call them. You’ve never met me, don’t care about me, and are very likely going to die and go to hell.

What is it about me that I love so much. Look I "enjoy!!!" your birthdays and holidays and all that. That’s what this place is all about. Shit if you don’t love your kids and your kids don’t blame you for everything that goes wrong. Than there really is no point to life. I could sit at home all day with my pretend barbie. My nice david Mccall doll. Say I guess Hitler won on that idea and just be done with it.

But no I say fuck that. That ain’t happening. I’m into it. And if it’s your duty to stand up in Call-for less or what ever there call it this year, yelling, "Gladiator, I got the latest Gladiator." And Arnold Swesenagger has to go and make a movie about what that whole experience is like. That’s my duty, my dream as a Canadian. To have that happen too you. Your daughter coming back safe from the bar. Your kids all tucked in at night. Not held down for the evening. You know the good fight. Being on the right side for a reason.

I care I really care. So if my mind goes through a loop while I have another divorce because the girl keeps marring someone else instead of the one she loves. That’s some ones duty too. Too turn that idea that thought into a video that us desperately single men can look at and go, yes I suppose after the first day or two I would only want the one I was best with. That’s the duty too.

It’s going to happen we’re going to win. Everything getting less complicated on both sides. We’re winning and their losing. And they know they are loosing and it’s going down.

My fuck if you know someone who joined the wrong side by mistake. Give’s a call. Let them know they are going to die and they might not want to do anything too stupid before then.

I care I love myself, I need a moment of AI.

Hello.

Life, such is life. I rule I’m the ruler. I’m super ruler. The rulingest of ruler rulers. I care. I really care. How is the book going so far. You know me, "did you get the coffee?" Is everything Okay. DO you agree with me today. I said a bad word yesterday. It’s funny though. I think I’ll be alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I wonder if it’s the time of year. About some of the past adventures. I’ve had. Montreal. Most of that is artificial. But LA all those places I said I’d never visited again. It’s occurring to me that with the right woman. All those things are off. If you wan to see the bottom of the rocks. The rocks. I’m into it. It’s the coolest thing ever though. Like the hoover dam. All those things you have to be prepared for your self not to get it. To not totally be into it. Maybe even so into me that your going. If I can just get him to have his ass the same when he’s levitating like that then latter in the tent…..

I was wondering though. So many people wonder what I think about certain stars, hollywood and all that. Casting cock size. Don’t get me started on boobage. Ha ha. Anyway I wonder sometimes what they must think of me. Really I do. Because there they are cover stories as far as anybody knows about how most of them make Micheal Jordan look like a minor demon, And then you wonder I say, like they don’t have a calculator. That’s a million this year and twenty the next and it just goes on and on. I don’t think so.

It’s easy to think they have screws on someone though. That are it’s a lie. Who could live with that sort of lie. All that in the competitive zone. If it’s true though. I’m going to make a point of all their stories of needing drugs to smile and feel good. And flashing pretty ladies that might of stood a chance around some real men. And women. At them.

I’m going to make their road to hell a living hell. If you don’t have enough to eat. If you pay for a movie and you don’t get what they said it will be. I’ll turn the hollywood, LA, Toronto, star hollywood thing into the biggest scariest thing the earth has ever had to go through.

And on a better note. Anybody I think is trying to be one of them, who thinks the stories of money or drugs or multiple partners is true. I’m throwing into the same category. Just for fucking trying.

Now you might think I when to LA to be famous. Trust me, anybody that knew me single, Do you think I went there thinking I’d be a star. No I wen their because the miracles I could do in Montreal gave me enough confidence to get out on the open road and see what life would be like. If you know I did just take it to an adventurous level.

You might also think I left this city to do this same thing again… Sort of. But most of those stories are about ass-wipes who’ve come in and out of this story with women we would like to be with thinking that they are going to own them or something.

Dead meat. Dead ass fucker. Couldn’t give a fuck. Military than above them cease-us. Right at the fucken below them, then bottomest of bottoms. Is the fucken Narcs. Show me a city run by the narcs and I’ll show you a city that has been taken over.

Time and time again. I find it most disturbing. You fucken hate them for what they’ve done to your parents, yourself, people you used to be able to call friends. And yet you say you don’t want military rule. Trust me, you sure the fuck don’t want ceasus ruling.

Here’s what I do. I help out ever country that is willing to really listen. I try to give the military good advice. But they are stuck in a world where they turn on the TV and everything has changed. It’s all based on the walton's to them.

The above them is me. I hover there. Ever heard of reign. Lie old people they’ll say reign like it’s a vote to keep younger people out of it. In the real world I had to reign for about five minutes in Montreal. That made me create A.I.D.S. It was fun.

Then they came up with a story about a.i.d.s. and monkeys and black men in Africa in the seventies. I have no idea how anybody could believe that.

Note the use of black people. Note how black people do videos that make them selves look like some new species cow. Never have I seen anything as gross. Like a bunch of people milking their mans cow udder while they make life to expensive for everybody else. So they can drive by tina from the mall and yell something from the sixties.

Often and occurring to most US military advisors when I listen to that music. I feel the same. Like it’s back in the sixties and I’m yelling at Tina, Barbie or Bettie. I don’t know I really don’t know what I’d be yelling.

Now we know for a fact it reigns around here almost all the fucken time. It’s non-stop. Now most of that is about me and personal injury. But where else does it reign. Those places too. So what is it. Do I give up go home, runa round like some homeless man. Too scared to, well I don’t know.

Anyway death is death. So if your out-there and you hear this and you think I mean what You think I mean. Please be patient while my wife and I walk the monkey walk a little.

I know it’s awful and it’s all going down, but really what really do these people have to turn to to tell them what is going on. The TV, the phone, pictures. I mean fuck the thing might not look the same when you get their.

Anyway that is about it for today.

Why do some people Suck.

Well why can’t you be famous. Here’s the thing. You know how some people are very good singers and all that. Actors, writers, hairdressers, painters. Etc. You aren’t. That’s the plane simple truth. You know how you might think you wont take the money etc. All quite believable. Well the worst part id you suck. Most people spend about 30 years before they even go for a big break.

So unless you have about a million or two dollars and want to send this country into hell. I don’t suggest you try for a pop album. I suggest you try something underground. Like you could work with a band for years before even trying to do an album. Stuff like that.

Me I’m a lousy actor. I stink. I knew that from long ago. I can do the life thing but when it comes to acting I blow.

And their kids will too. I hope that isn’t too much concern. Because when it comes right down to it. Who is a great director or recording studio going to choose. A person who just had a thirteenth birthday who needs a new album to fit in. Or a guy who worked his whole life and tried really hard to make that one final chance. Who do you think is going to give the better performance.

Well I don’t know why I went on about that. I’m doing good I was reliving old times last night. Kind-a stayed up kind-a late. I think I might go watch a guy I call a friend play his voice at a club this week. I don’t know though. I’m a little low on cash. I could always bum though. People were very nice. Most of the people who got free cars for giving me a dollar, left their clan hoods in the car.

Funny though, you just don’t know what it’s like to be God till you wonder about stuff like that and a poster from 1984 turns to that of a dead girl. It’s all connected.

What am I? Cool, I’m cool. If you’ve ever seen this movie pulp fiction, there is this guy who has been Beeped over by "the man". This guy comes up behind him and says, "Are you okay!?"

He goes, "Far from okay!". Right them I knew I was God. "I’m gong to get medieval on his ass." If you knew me at all. I’ve got UFO, terminator 4 videos. I’m going going. All I need is for people to stop telling me to stop. Or less people willing to do such a thing. Because If I’m "getting okay." I know a few people who are far from okay. Maybe they didn’t see the movie, or understand the principal. The point is though. When we are okay, well it’s never okay. That is why there is the sun. Because and, we’re going to do things to them. Fast, slow, nothing, and painful. You ain’t seen pain. I hope your in a lot of pain right now. Who ever the fuck you where.

I hope your dead. Oh and thanks, whatever it was that made you do that. I appreciate that. I know it must tie into a want or desire of mine. In the present or the future. Never the past. I hope that is okay. I know it sounds bad. Someone blew off your head so I could get a better peace of toast or a pie or whatever. That’s just he way life is though. It works that way. If I want something I’ll get it. You know it should wake me up to old wants sometimes to see if I still want them too. Maybe we’ll have to see.

I hope I don’t want anything too mind bending though. I live in a box. I own what most people consider next to nothing. I mean I’ve got my chips and from time to time I can afford a pop. But that’s okay. That’s the life they chose for me. I’m going to have the life I chose for myself though. If that’s not enough. For all of this planet, and everything, almost on it. Than too hell with you. I think of something else.

I Care.

I care. Know I’m writing at a stupid time and I’m probably going to bring down part of the earth to get this done. I care about my friends. My thoughts my feelings, my timing and my caring. I’m a "carey" beast. I’m a person right out of sesame street. That’s old school sesame street.

Of course I always assumed God lived on sesame street too. How else would they do it. Would Oscar kill the people in tat house. So he didn’t have to stay outside. Why didn’t they turn-over the corner store that Mr. Hooper used to run. They didn’t all seem to like him.

Because God lived there. That’s the way I figured it when I was a kid. I mean even to the side things, were they would talk about why we had to learn numbers. And they had the guys who loved to count. Then their were guys that seemed to like language a lot. They had people who were with people. Like the real world. Then they had people who would talk to Muppets. Like it was on, well that TV show. I really liked that show. I never really liked math, but I always loved the count and did pretty good in math. Real good in fact. Remember to me that how they used to say, "all french," to me.

Anyway, I see a lot of show like that. I wonder now about my friend named Stephanie. He did try to be my friend that is for sure. We had our problems. He never believed in God. I have to laugh. He must think we were nuts. I’m talking about the Muppets, and sesame street. And going on abut Highlander, hellraiser. All these cool movies. He must have really been quite bore the middle twenty years of my past years life.

Anyway, I’m sorry that’s all there was. Cause right there from every thing from vigilantes, to you would swear tag team countries trying to kill me. There would be these people who wanted me to see their sons, daughters. Some wanted to thank me for healing them. Financial some. Just a card others. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get in and out of the christmas wish foundation. Maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown in the hospital. They think for myself. After all the talk about sesame street etc. You never know.

Anyway it’s more about the number of people who want me dead. The weirdest, or dumbest to be truthful. Is they want to kill death to end death for everybody. Now that person is how should we say, from back in the eighties "fucked up!"

Anyway. If you owe me some thanks. I appreciate it. I think that’s cool. I did say we were being in heaven though. And if that includes healing your kids to grand-old-parents, so be it. I’m laughing. You know if I could just get a few people to go with me on this I’m going to meet my real true love. I mean opposite sex wise.

So that is what I mean. Of course if you’re a tears in your beer person. When I say this next part about leaving our who’s behind. That I do not mean that part about your tears in your beer part.

I’m starting to go on about myself again. It’s funny about that art about not talking about myself much. Oh yeah I think she’s, the opposite sex woman, is going to pass me by again. I think it’s because, now get this. I’m not good enough for her.

Myself though. Oh yeah I think if this girl, I use that word for older people who look young, mostly. If this girl, thinks that magic was my first true love. Let me tell you a tale from before the very beginning. A tale about how I fell in love with God.

I was sitting on a block and I saw myself there. It was so cool. You know how people, mostly me talk about miracles and all that. Well this really stood out. There I was sitting there. Across from me at food bank in Montreal. I could see that I was about to give up. That’s it for me. That is the end. That sort of thing.

I saw myself there and puffed my chest out like everything was going great in the future I thought. Anyway I went back home. And I was in my lab. Real science bottles and glowing lighted mixtures, like in those old science movies when we thought they’d make cool stuff. I was going through these recipes. And then there was a Girl there a woman. And she told me that. Everything was okay. " I," meaning her, "would be okay."

And I thought to myself. I’m about to blow up the universe and she is telling me that that is okay. She’s down with it.

I couldn’t believe it. I had my cure videos, my thermos of things I’d never looked at. For the cold lonely nights that lay ahead, and I was ready to go.

And there she was, that’s okay, I’m ready go ahead. And I thought to myself, "who the fuck are you."

Meaning her.

I created this entire fucken universe. And your telling me to, no, that it’s okay to blow it the fuck up. I mean I couldn’t believe. People were all telling me what to do. It was driving me fucking crazy. And then when I’m about to blow the entire fucken universe over, and start over. In comes this bitch and says, oh and blow the universe up to. I laughed I even I started to giggle, a mans giggle, then I started to laugh. I couldn’t fucken believe it. Now my memory of this is cloudy. But I fell in love.

I can’t believe it today. Falling in love with that. I mean I’ve seen beauties heard the call of love. But hat seems pretty minor compared to what some people, mostly guys have heard.

This is in this life I’m leading though. At the time I was at. I thought to myself. That’s it that’s her I’m in love.

And do you know what. It wasn’t the stupid little thing she’d said. It was me back on earth. Getting my wits back. I was thinking about my woman. Everybody had one. I know I’m God I must have one for sure. I mean I designed the fucken thing. Sure enough. Days turned into months and months, well over a year, I’m sure of that. I never found her though. Never ran into her.

In all that time. Year after year. In Montreal, you would think in a city that big. You could find "a" right woman. That’s when I started thinking more and more about it. The right woman. Sure though, but that’s altered all the time and changes with divorce and all that stuff, surely one of these,, heh heh ever so many single woman. The right one for me.

Then I knew though. The really real horror equation. That even amongst all that altering and changes. It really was a right person equation. I mean it dude. Have you heard of horror. Listen to me. I could see it clear as day. The right person was the right person. Is going to happen, no way around it. Nothing that would make anything else last. And the true horror, or scare-em that I saw was that some people had waited. Let’s just say One hundred and twenty years.

That’s some pretty crazy talk.

But here I am years single. And you know I’ve had sex with fewer partners than some of you might think. It’s been okay. But I take half the blame. For one, I’m a founding member, of I’m sexy and I can’t admit that to myself alcoholics. I take the fact that I created the universe, too lightly. I’m seldom without female companionship. My friends love me. I saw a guy checking me out the other day, and I think the only reason he’s been hesitating about coming over to my table is he thinks it may require outdoor crying.

I know what he’s talking about. I might be thinking the same thing. Also if I’m right and this feeling of being close to being close with this girl is right. Than I’m not sure were my friendships lie. Of course I’m not twelve so I’m not dealing with some sort of judgment disguised as anything else conflictual party reception. Or any of those "faggy" things. I know some people who would love some stuff like that. Me I’d love to be there for them "in spades" if it was happening.

So I’m an individual. I’ve roomed the pre-universe land, some times in search of something stable. Something normal to cling to. If this is the place, than she ain’t to bad. I care for her this universe and all that. I’m freaked by things like magic and lighting. All that. Don’t get me started on being able to lift my feet of the floor. Only from time to time so far though.

But my one true love. And I know this is sad. Like I’m making it up. Like I’m going to say that girl I thought of, who helped to save the universe. But the truth is. Boobs. Real honest to goodness boobs. And you might think this is silly. Like something stupid God would say for a laugh. The truth is though, you’ve got to wonder about the mean evil people out there. The ones that smash young girls boobs so they have to grow them back. Maybe they know something that you don’t or didn’t maybe it’s like an instinct with them.

Don’t let the accidents fool you. I loved Boobs. Then I should let you know there were other things. Things like people really would thank me. Not druggers or stoners. Thanks for the healing type people.

I care man. That’s what’s cool about me. I care. And maybe the right woman with me will realize that. If we’re together and I’m staring at the girl walking down the roads ass. There really only a few ways to tell if I’m looking at it or making sure her legs heeled properly from what I did last night or before. She’ll have to ask, because I really don’t physically look at these things too differently.

Hi heh, heh, hah ha ha ha.

I had to give myself an elmo hug.

Well.

Why do women like me. Humm-a let me think of an answer. I can think of many. The biggest thing is they have a huge advantage. I like women on average more than men. It’s true. Not by as much as you might think though. Men are cool, fun to hang with. It’s funny though, I’ve tried to hang with people I’ve known with a girlfriend and they just, we just. Because they weren’t dating. Looking back I think they were trying to indoctrinate me into some sort of kill-to-live society.

The funny part about that though, is most of them got so wasted that they forgot all about that and went on to well. Do almost normal things with their lives. Still killers though. Not good. I wonder about that Kathy person. The overly happy family. The way the sisters had to live close to her bedroom. Like she was the master. Sort of like a buffy the vampire slayer episode. Anyway. She didn’t like people too much. Once she got used to hanging out with people she never really liked hanging out with me much.

I think she was like that Stephanie kid. Maybe she just never got sesame street and had to learn why people don’t go around just taking what the fuck ever they want.

I think she almost told me once what she did as a young child. I wish she did. We’d probably still be fucking right now. Odds are we would. I mean we never stopped. Then I realized that was because we hardly ever saw each other. Only two days a week, three if there was a holiday, long weekend. Or maybe during the week. If I could figure a way off work or there and back without totally wiping myself out.

I can’t get into how many times I almost wiped out or died driving the highway that much. Fuck, transport trucks, falling asleep, not too much, snow storms. You ever drive so slow you though you and all the other cars had stopped to get a drink at the side of your cars. But your still there driving. A one hour, nudge nudge, drive turned into five six, all the time you’ll spend together dwindling away. Till finally your there, passed out. Any non-God would be frazzled. And you have to drive out the next day to get to work.

Fuck those were good times. Except. There were a lot of excepts.

Anyway. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in this "Television, commercial" for helping "kids" who’ve done wrong. I mean accidents sure. I can see that fucking the young, non-God right up. Nothing like it. It’s fucked. You hear all these stories about what death is like. And then you turn a corner or throw something down the stairs and your brother or sister isn’t there anymore.

Funny thing though. Am I winning or losing for having those people around. Some of them seem like good friends.

People I’ve hung with would laugh, "I’m a close person. A person who is easy to approach with any new topic. I like to be disturbed form my thinking. I care about others. I’m a (human mind) "good" thinker.

I can’t think of anymore absolutely humorous things right off the top of my head. But I’ll try. Now these are untruths that should appear funny to those that know me or have tried to know me. I have sympathy for nuns. I enjoy having all these different religions fighting over which one… I don’t know, "has the right God!?" I get a kick, a mild one out of fire crackers. The more useless super-terrific-things in life are, the more I think they should be dis-intergrated from the face of the earth never to return.

(okay to get that last one, you might wan tot know this about me. If I see something without meaning and I haven’t for a long time. I can usually come up with something on my own to remind me to turn my head a away or start walking again. The gravitational pull of the earth alone will eventually remind me that I’m not really in pre-earth times and that I could move on and maybe see something else with non-meaning in the future, down the road.

To continue with my anti-humour. I feel I care about other peoples death too much, too little, never enough, too often. I’m concerned about the shape, length and diameter of my weewea. I really care what happens to woman and families that refer to themselves or their daughters as "an other candidate".

I’m concerned about the ozone.

I could go on and on. These a fucked up things. You know how people think different things about different things and that helps to make us different. Emotions actually. People feel differently about the emotions of people places and things and these differences makes us individuals.

But those things I mentioned are unemotional stupid things that people learn from other people or people on things. And well they seem to repeat them as code words, all the while unconcerned about the person with the crush behind them, that they don’t see or are unconcerned about. They repeat these things and we’re supposed to say, "hey that’s stupid," or you suck. Like their little magic suppositories that they can just put into their asses or brains. The male race. Yes here’s one more anti-humor. I’ve created the male race in an effort to provide devices to plug female orifices.

I know that sounds strange and true. But it could not be future from the truth. If your wondering to your self. Why have I created the universe. You might be thing about the parts about birthdays and stories to kids. And all that. That is like I said, relativity and a big part of being connected to God. But why. I know some why that is for sure. But his is about what. What is God. I know to you a lot will seem like why. Maybe more than when. But why did I create the universe.

My biggest thought on the topic, is so far. I haven’t met her yet. Maybe I met her and I don’t know she is her. Maybe she wont fucken tell me. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t. I sure the fuck wish she would. You know like a secret or a vow.

Why the universe, was created and her. Actually I think that is more shy the galaxy was created. And I’m talking about the metal one. Sure I was way off. A universe created of just me and metal. Metal-me. But what was the sex like. I mean we were all the same thing. 3000 earth years to form a cube. And then splat an almost flat, what would you call it. You know splat Like a sphere no shape. From a super cube to a sphere in 30 years. Fuck that’s fast. I suppose it seems that way. The truth is it is not fast 30 years or slow 300 years, it is just something that happened prior to this world we live on. A super terrific thing.

If you never got a sun tan, would you miss tanning in the sun. I mention that in case a human is out there or a thing, wining and going on about how important they "must certainly be" because I’m God. Poor sad tired God must have really missed all of us. Down here on earth. I don’t know what he fuck they are talking about. Earth is the biggest pile of funniness I’ve ever created.

I mean it. God’s being born. Let’s blow up half of France. And when the cops come to stop us we’ll kill everybody and tell them it was the government.

I’m going to wank off latter, and a volcano will go off probably near killing about thousand people. I told them not to go there about, I don’t know, A zillion times.

The wank that created Godzilla. Think about how ordered my life must seem to you before this earth. One idea then the next then the next. Over and over again.

Nahh I got to laugh. Slowly over time, I’m done everything I’ve ever done here. Sure there are miracles. But almost everything, say over 50, 000 years to be fair. I’ve been through.

I thought I’d know if it was worth it, that way. That turned out to be as I say, "not bright!" I’m in the middle of a rewrite right now. It’s just you can have your foot blown off and grow it back. But to do it again five hundred years from now. It’s just not the same. I guess I knew though. Knew something good was going to happen. I’d be the most important thing on earth. But not the everyday concern.

I’d care about everyone, but not really too much. I’d hate myself sometimes and kill other people for doing the same thing. I’d be me.

God. Super-God. Shit I hope they don’t expect me to fly. I’m just going to be me. Me me me.

The there’s this girl. She might come along and try t change me. What can I do t help. Sure the changes will be temporary. They always are. Like she might stretch me out and do strange things to my mind. Then I’m let go of these, horrible awful thoughts and come all over her face, arms hair. Where ever I can get the stuff.

I’m just saying it might happen. Will I feel the same afterward though. Or will I run away. Will I fear having to go to the bathroom afterwards or will I be able to do what I have to do.

Will she care or will it be on a dare. Maybe I’ll care too much and a little piece of me will destroy her, grab her by the hair in the bedroom so close to pain that she’d swear she couldn’t tell the difference till I touched her arm with my hand.

Light touching flesh. Being tight. With the woman you love. Isn’t that what love is all about. How emotional can a person be. I would think if our emotional reaction to things was the same we would have the same personalities. Maybe if for some hysterical reason we feel into the same emotional synchronistical orbit. Maybe we’d have the same emotional reaction to the stimulus at the same time for like twenty four hours. Till the pain of laughing drove us indoor. Where we lay in fright that it might end under-the-covers.

Under the covers with nothing but our minds and our wits to guide us into some things to keep us together in the morning when or emotions would be cured of the day that we feared would hold us in the past.

Some Things I’d Like To Say.

First off I’ll choose me. The funny thing is in real life I would probably choose to talk about her first. The Goddess. The why is a goddess about as important as God in some religions. And truthfully above the lowest emphasized in the lease emphasized religion.

But enough about here, let’s talk about me. I’m here thinking it though, watching my we’ll do it man , they wont be necessary video. It occurred to me that I might try to find out a bit more of what I have planned for my self during the what. First off I have a huge thing to change in all these things. I found out why people turn Evil along the way. So if it never happened and your staring at the enemies gun. Believe me bullets take a long time to heal from.

Anyway I’ve got these lives and they are out there. You see I like you are now, found out what my life was like, about, you know, during my who. It was cool. You see who I’m going to be is based on. Well It’s based on this crazy life I’ve got started. That’s right. Basically let’s say the galaxy to not be too literal. This galaxy is designed by me. So I know…. In the end of my designing what I’ll end up being. A stayer or a leaver. Anyway this design will help me to discover who. Which I’ve done. Now I’m finding out what. And what is fun. For me what is funner. Absolutely. If you agree that I designed the fucken thing. Then without doubt I will now start having more and more fun. The what for me will be about combining different lives I’ve had in the past. This in turn mixed with the design, of the "galaxy" should combine into making me into what I am. I’ve said it, so mote it be.

Now will I truly be what "I" the big barracuda, the bender mind intender really is. Not really. You see there is a "galaxy" out there and that galaxy is a tiny part of me. Now that tiny part of me will have to combine inside me at some point in order to be refreshed. That way it will not be evil. In order for a substance to maintain non evility it must return to the source in a t proportional to the affects of its squared roundness.

Roundness can be taken to mean the "exactitude of how much I like" the substances separateness from myself. Basically if you watch a creature or object do something so cool that it almost appears to shimmer. The shimmering is based on the number of times the creature or thing must return to God, inside me, to the exact location of the object, or approximate location of the creature. This is all the way it is now. At least until I’m done whating.

Anyway back to this Goddess thing. Why do people worship her so, Why do people think I‘m gay. The answer is tied in the same thing. For you see like most people I want the best for my goddess. You would say girl, woman. Dogs cats puppies all those things have there own names. Earth, water or steal etc. so on and so on infinite.

Well like I said the best. Not the most comfortable, or the most hommie, the most cool, or the best actor.

Now when I want something like a clean spring day. I go outside and if I self it right, I’ll have a nice clean spring day. Now if I was taking my goddess outside to have a spring day. I wouldn’t want a nice or a bad or a square or a stupid, spring day. I’d want the best.

Maybe I’m talking to my weather self and I’m going has she seen the one with the cloud you know the one with the spae in just he right spot, or the one with the shower and we have a place to go to. The best. I would want he best for me. Truthfully for myself I could be more fair. I think I’m drifting towards being nice to myself. Like I said in the plan. I’m in recovery. Well that’s right I think life is fair to myself. Or it sure the fuck should be. Anyway so when I’m with my wife or getting ready to get with her. I like anyone else want to give her the best. So how does this affect the gallexy everything in it and yourself while making me look gay.

You see when the possibility of us getting together draws close. There is a movement of the usual force that guides the wise. It begins to double. All of a sudden there is a force to providing the best for her. Just as strong eventually as the one for myself.

So basically you’ll see places she might go to as different. Becoming the best. I can not over emphasize enough how her life is not about being the best version of what hollywood true money lives better is. I think that world sucks.

But you will see a difference. I guess I can see why some people wouldn’t like her the "galaxy" moves for two now not one.

Some people enjoy pleasing a woman more than a man. It’s that fucken simple. So I guess I can see why you might enjoy the thought of me being with someone more than even myself.

I’m giving some stuff up. Like any person in any relationship, I’ll be giving stuff up. And that’s okay by me. I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I’ll use my imagination about what life could have been like before we ever got together.

The coolest places to be for me are going to be the ones where we are both together. Those places for me will rock. We are the bestest and the fairest. Hanging out together.

So you see if your thinking, like a real person in a real world, hey I’m putting a thing together and it feels like I’m doing it for God but the thing I’m putting together is feminine. It’s because you are doing it for me, for her. You see, it’s nice there is this little time delay before it really set’s. Some things are worth redoing. If you look back any story I tell her. (if you haven’t guessed I’m a story freak) Any story I tell her will include me telling her the story so there is even probably a masculine and feminine divine thought to it as well.

You know it’s so nice to get this into words. I feel so much better about a lot of things. It’s very hard to get used to people who you know and trust always wondering if your gay, or a half/man half/elk or something.

I know I have to laugh.

Anyway so that is it. The whole Goddess thing is based on yes things are just as good for her in away, not what she thinks is best. You run into a girl who is claiming that it is what she thinks is best. Shoot her. I’m no forgiveness machine. You’ve really deiced to be the bad guy during all this don’t think you can suck my squalonge and have everything okay.

You do however get the huge Goddess thing. I mean man, if your, say a person, who doesn’t really enjoy this male universe thing, the whole things going to seem quite male and female pretty soon. Even with the time delay on the female side. That’s what makes it feminine.

I think that’s neat really when you look at it. Maybe I am just a product of this universe. I know usually you’d swear I could bust the local equivalent of a boulder over my head. Yet in this world I’m so close to human. It was a scary part of who. Trying to be what in a way really. It’s definitely me to help myself. But who for me was more about what God is. Not what yeeyoh is. Finding out what God is was finding out who I am. Just like finding out who you are will be like finding out your God. I think that is true. When you truly know who you are it will be as cool for you as when I’ve known I was God.

Actually, I’ve got so many actualities going on that there are far too many to write.

Finding out what Yeeyoh is is going to be far more interesting for me. YOU see ever since this concept of something separate from myself existed. I’ve been obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it. There must be a thing that I’m trying to do that will make al the mistakes and thoughts and fears and fuck ups worth it. Like all the cool stuff we have today. What I think is nifair and what I think is best. So here we are. I will now attempt to be what right here on planet earth in an attempt to make the "galaxy" a permanent thing.

This may take more than a week. I have to laugh, "is it in the original design?" No not really. The original design included me dying in a blaze of glory on a cross. I don’t know though. I think it was the shit or the piss though. Something about taking what was good and then shitting or pissing out the rest.

I’d have to do more research.

Well, there are a couple of other notes that I should make about the female and me. First. I’m a cave man. I like to be clubbed over the head taken home and made love too. That woman should be the woman I end up with. There said it. Anyway I should also like to say how she’s Unique. You know how being unique was fun, when you young and stuff. And then all of a sudden you here Brian, half of you didn’t even know I was God then. Remember that was what who was all about then as well. Well, anyway, there you are as unique as fuck and I Brian go yelling about Individuality. Then you all become individuals and do you as I’ve said, stare at yourself till you make a mockery of yourself. Or do you go I was a pretty cool unique person now I’m going to be a pretty individual unique person.

You know how we in the eastern hemoshpere, north and south america. And that crazy thing down south. We have our robot times. Well her’s is being Unique. I know it seems strange, like you thought you had one of those home kids, because he was into the feminine side of the force thing. Back in the eighties. Then it turns out that he wasn’t gay it was just that unique people get way more into doing that feminine crap anyway.

Anyway me in love with a unique person. Who would of thought. She’d have to be her. Who else. In this crazy mixed up world the oldest person I can think of off the tip of my head who is unique, living and not the one. Is about 300 years old.

secret. We’ll call them the late catholics. Anyway so my guess as of this writing is as good as anybodies. Also it’s holding up the teleporting crap and all that as well.

Me not know. Which I do. But not here. Unless you know, it’s an emergency.

Of course I could go on and on about what I don’t like. Which I love to do sometimes, but to say the need for some sort of joy in the world is of a deep and penetrating nature is an understatement.

Anyway if anybody is trying to get the flow gong in there life and they don’t know what they are doing. Here is the deal… say there are about forty two little pleasure principals that you have to hit. Now each of these pleasure principals are very important. Not just for me and her. For you at least. Anyway. If for some reason you don’t like say the lower prices. Well there you go all those other ones will never be quite right. They’ll always be sort-a wrong.

That’s just the way it is. Its like mono-thermanucli-aro-dynamics. Sure we could here what the professor and all those other people have to say on the topic. But instead we could wait till it’s the easiest thing in the world and enjoy the thing that what ever the thing is that we get to enjoy by or from any body but me knowing what that is.

Back to the flow this though. Do you get what I’m saying. There are things in this Universe meant to change. And things in this universe that are not. Like a tree will grow different fruit. If we don’t starve during the process from one edible fruit to the next. Animals grow way different. That’s the that on that. But People we look the same. We have a primal design. We’re built like the metal galaxy, the light bulb galaxy. We are meant to survive the destruction of this universe. That’s quick judgment though. Ever see a disaster movie. Woman and children first. How your going to fit into a different dimension don’t get me started.

Okay so like those rules those waked out crazy God wrote them ain’t nobody but God supposed to fuck with them. Those rules are involved with the flow thing. Spring rains and cars driving by care too. Well those rules, those rules will not allow my best for her and fair for me to occur. Sure I had a great time, sure it was great. But would I go back. Would I spend my money there.

I fucken hate the her best people. If they are too stupid to clue into the fact that we are talking about God here. Well fuck’em what used to take 63 years. Is now becoming forty three etc.

Sure you look at the ass on that 300 year old blind chick and tell me if you wouldn’t pause a minute before shoving her off into the category of shit disturbers. They want some shit to though in the fan. Then it get in the air and we end up breathing and almost eating shit, instead of shitting it out.

Ohh yeah, three years, two years, …. Hah hah ha!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah but that is about it. What isn’t who, it’s what, like the materiel, the imagination. The need to create. The desire to create things that create. The imagination. The hypyr-vision. The thought waves the growl.

Unique. Yeah she’s unique. What is unique. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. She’s still finding out who. Unique I always loved unique people. Easier to tell I was God. If you knew how many people crawled around me trying to find out, "why are you so different". It makes the number of countries and almost countries I was talking about earlier. Well, like more. There were more of the let’s call them, "the beetle people".

And well the flow and how it’s affected by this unique being. It must be cool to know God loves you. Your like. Well your liked loved by God. Most of his friends are pretty doped up when it comes to this one person thing. And the rest of the people want to kill you a little more than God. Not way more mind you. But a little more.

Don’t worry I get my spirit during what.

Ohh yeah I’m not summing up the what will continue I will continue it’s going to continue. I’m the continuer. The one who’s is continuing while I’m continuing about continuing.

Ohh And I just time traveled when no one was looking and if you hate me for it I hope you burn in hell. Ha ha ha ha.

I Know I Haven’t Titled In A While

Well, here we are the great work. The straight man the strange man and I know I am that man. The be all end all, man. The man, A man. A man amongst any men. This is my fate. The fated fate. The end of destiny and the beginning of Destiny. The zame the end is the beginning the how long can you keep wring man. I’m done, I guess……. Sure I could go on about how I love you and you love me. And all that. But that would be silly. That would be uncool. That would be the greatest thing I could do.

I’m going to take some time to my self. Get my computer in order. Redo some pictures ahead of time. And get back to you, which is me. Oh did I mention that. We, meaning you are all inside of me. AM I actually ever inside myself. I’ll have to get back to you one that. I also have to get around to explaining that all the plants, trees rocks all in their proportion are inside of me. Don’t worry I don’t think the humans, will be able to take us out. We are strong, we are veggie.

Hi How Are You Today.

I’m writing in reply to the resent notice that I might only be pretending to be "The King Of Israel" Now I know. I just heard that too. Isn’t strange that people who think that they would never "sell out" are trying t get me to think that those gang names where all a joke.

Now weather I was ever in a gang is technically weirder than you might think. They don’t actually all meet like a young person might wonder. They do things like masturbate in the same place and smell each others sperm to see if the person before them was the right person. And those are the straight guys.

Anyway I wasn’t really. I mean I’m a nice guy when I have a smoke and stuff, but remember you might be taking that smoke away from some one I care about. And so on etc. etc.

Anyway you should see the guys I hang out with in that world of not quite always all persons meeting. There’s guys there that, well I don’t know I’ve met a couple that they couldn’t quite pull of you can "surely sit the fuck down."

Stuff like that. I met a guy once who proved I was God. For one thing about to go APB hog shit wild all over the air waves. But I decline to say what "his" day job is.

Anyway. Real fun in the real world. I always come across as the guy who’s getting himself killed. I always salute, the I’m not into not getting you killed as much as that people. I think it is them above all others that make me care about the people I care about. Cause fuck man, you see a guy who can wrestle a alligator and he looks tired on a Friday. Well things are getting ruff.

It’s fun though. I enjoyed my fight in Toronto and all that. But I always enjoyed being the guy who just couldn’t fight. You know the funny guy. The "Bullet’s, smullets," guy. The guy who could just laugh that stuff off, if there wasn’t some guy trying to execute me with his "scope" all the next, ohh let’s just say three weeks. You know "hanging out."

Those were the days. This city makes hanging out look like some sort-a. I don’t know is it the lack of colour. Is it the fact that everybody around here worth caring about is so, (fuck, and darn come to mind) tired that they just can’t quite celebrate, the next day. Like in the big city.

Yes, I’d like to believe the big cities aren’t going to turn into a big cease pool during this but. The rich man comes in for vacation. He’s got cash. The guy at the counter wants to sell pop for the right price. Can he though, can he desert all his friends just to screw the guy over who loves his city so much he’s willing to go there on holidays.

I don’t know but it seems like that. First it’s an air raid siren. Then it’s the increase at beer prices at your favorite place. Then the homeless are very cordially rounded up and taken off the street. Next comes the stereo-typical suburban version of what fun is. Then it’s the guy with the strippers’ up the road. At this point in the holidays. He looks normal. And it just goes on until the local favorite "politician is getting a blowjob from a girl other than his wife. And he’s turning to me, God saying don’t worry my wife will forgive me because, I go that thing done you asked for.

And he thinks it’s about rounding up "terro-homeless white people" who are sheep or something.

Anyway, I have no intention to explain a world like that. But those gangs in the "wilds" smelling each others sperm. He’s what I call around here. "Fancy-sperm" he might not see it. But he ties all his decisions (if you want to call them that) based on the reputation of his party, or reign. If you wan to get into the fancy talk.

It’s him and the gangs or the gangs and him. Or "The gang" and there’ll all going hey. How was tommies year. And how was your year. Don’t worry next year will be better and all that. And it just keeps getting worst and worst.

The true politicians make great changes and they rock. And if there truly great they hate standing out, because standing out means the previous, one two or three and four. Politicians sucked. And their citizens deserve more.

Anyway back to the fun part. We love the citizens. Some of us have even loved them. My only panic on this is the fact that the Human, and I use this turn loosely. Actually ahs limits to the amount of "non-successful love" they can give… Before you just don’t give a fuck any more. Etc. etc.

Think about that when your trying to save that whore or who ever that is working the street. You know the only thing they ever said to me was. Your God, so you not really a man. So your alright. And I think she was lying to get me to open the door.

Anyway don’t get me started on the male fuck ups.

If I’m The King Of Israel. Is She The Queen.

I don’t know. Oh I was going to mention that I don’t plan on winning this Isreal thing overnight. It will take about ten years from the time I started this years fun. The coolest countries have probably given themselves about fifteen years.

I know when you live up hear life is so fucked. You just don’t know what it’s like.

How much what is my love for who. Ohh yeah we decided to cancel the whole spy loving me thing. It seems to cause the person to really want to fight for there country. Which is great but there are so many countries and they kind-a see something there. It’s not true but if they could make it true. U.S.A. might for example say that all the races are the greatest. That they are all needed to get things done, to be real, to be able to stay afloat in this world.

Of course they would want this. There country is the biggest melting pot. Of norms, hopefuls, weirdo’s, helpful helpers and craziness than anybody has ever seem.

You see they are wrong. Racism sucks even helpful racism. It’s just not good. I want to hang with the guys who are hanging. I want to be myself. They do to they just don’t want you to know who they are. Just like, are you ready, "any normal human being."

I don’t know maybe it’s well. This city is weird. If your into North/South america right into the bone and you love the creete thing. Your probably not going to love this city too much. The torque to my safety is so hi most days that it would send you up the wall.

Me too really. I mean I love it I like to know when it’s really really up there. Like now.

Okay here’s the problem. I’m supposed to be writing this book about what. Oh by the way I’m finished. And then along comes the thought of the girl. Ever hear of a band, everything but the girl. Well that is about how most of my life feels. I’m the type of guy. Well, you toast is burned. You either pick up a couple of new pieces, or you scrape off the burned part. And that is that. No mocking the toast. No making fun of it. It’s just sad. I mean I know deep down. I’m like having a three way conversation with the toast. It’s fun. But I don’t know I just can’t get into it on my own. It bugs me. And with the wrong person. Might as well put the soother in my mouth and I’ll just sit there and blink once in a while.

You know, "what you doing?" Not much. "How was your day?" "Not Bad."

You know dull. Dull people, who would have thought. Anyway, so I get talking about this girl. Like and now that is all that is on my mind. Not all my mind when I’m doing much of anything else. But at the same time when I go to write I wonder about her. Am I putting too much pressure on her. I mean I’m God. She’s got to be into that. Being God is what turned me onto this whole life thing to begin with. I mean you know. I loved being God, myself what ever. Hey let’s make something all that sort of thing.

But being God. Getting a grip on the fucker and really twisting my rule right screwed into it’s(the living, planet, you name its’) neck. Fuck that seemed like a good time.

I mean fuck, I’m God and what I’m doing should be important. That’s right life and death all day twenty four hours a day. I’m back, me they guy who wishes to fuck you would at least do something with your life, I mean you know like….

I’ll come up with something it’s my duty. Anyway back to this what thing. What will she make me like. What will she make me do. Who’ll get killed because of it. How many people will become (the slave to coincidence). Everything is a result of here. Robot reporting for duty. I’m kidding. She better change me though. This whole thing is designed to change me. Have you guessed the program yet. This whole universe is designed to make me remember not to give up on things I’ve created.

I don’t how to put that more literally. It’s cool dude, no problem. I’ll get it done. I will not give up. Someone is gong to come along that wont sell out in the wrong country and then it will be getting done. I’m not concerned. I’m not giving up on getting things done in time. Eventually, we wont need your sorry ass for that project.

Anyway. I’m sure eventually it will work. I just hope it’s in this life time.

Last Night

Last night I got in a fight. And it was brutal. I’m not sure really what happened. Lot’s of drinking and fucking. But when it was all sorted out there was Je-sus everywhere. I’m not sure. I’m lifting one guys legs and then I’m throwing myself over there. And there’s all these beautiful women everywhere. I must have been hallucinating.

Right now there are cabs and cars out there. We’re not even sure if half these people are there in the city. This might be a city to city thing. I find it funny. I’m judging the enemy. No, no thanks, get the fuck out of here. No no thanks get the fuck out of here. So if your older and your dying I’m sorry your death might stand out a little. It’s the time of the year.

Remember this may sound odd, but historically in about a bizzion bizzion years times fifty. Hitler just turns out to be misunderstood. Should this happen I’ll be sure to take a cool shower and come into bed. Make love to the wife. Laugh at myself in the mirror, and find a way to make the most permanent thing in my life.

Hell, you got to love me. I’m funny. Anyway I should continue. On a latter note a few of the faceless masses should know that a couple of them are actually in padded psyche wards waiting till they are totally here. If they choose to stay then it would be my pleasure to make them an entire person. In a few maybe five years or so. I might even come up with a whole family history. You could say, I’m from New, nouveu, brunswick. My family used to fish and hunt up North. It was way back in 1962 or something.

I guess I didn’t get to go there much. My parents never talked about that time much. Must have been pretty bad. Anyway , no where not hillbillies. We had a car and as far as I know the guy up the road still has the swimming pool. Religious, well as far as I can tell they had the shit scared out of you by the age of six or so. I don’t know if they’re still like that though. Etc, etc.

Those are the greatest. You should try that if you live in the big city. The guy from there, the guy doing well. He’d probably suck your knob to here a story like that. I guess it’s the type of thing where if you don’t know people live normal somewhere,,, You’d just go nuts.

It’s funny though, I think when I moved to the big city, they thought I was from an alien ship or something.

What drugs are you on. It’s not that,, who wasn’t… Do you know that you just went off the floor and that those people are studding you to copy "you" me basically everything.. for movies and stuff like that.

"yeah, (this is over loud music.) yeah but if you could not mention it I’d really appreciate it. I’m trying to have a little fun before I die and I don’t think I could continue to come here if I get to aware of them and what they’re really like.

Reply, "Okay, I thought you should know, Oh by the way I hate them too. "aside to self,,,(spiritual bri maybe I should ask him why they are here….) I have a friend who is into you. But she isn’t,,, the right fucken word. Anyway if you see her…

Anyway the chick turns out to be a narc stirring up shit for the latest language fight. First there’s the little one. Everybody, heh heh goes. I guess that’s okay. Them comes the torrent right in the middle of summer.

You ever live up north, right in the middle of fucken summer.

Christ, the first time I was, up north, as a person. I’m standing there and this big building "breeze" is biting through my face. The air is about –30 celsus. And as we maritimers say when we’re in those spots. It’s a fucken dry cold. And some ass in on TV screaming about wind chill. Had he said deadly, had he said might die. In the summer, I know it’s fucken you might hear about the heat exhaustion…. Blah blah blah.

And I’m leaning into it and screaming inside. The fucken joy the fucken fun. If I don’t make it to the subway station around the place in thirty minutes I’m going to die. I mean fucken rocken. For once it’s out of their hands. Fuck dude it was great.

Then your standing at a bus stop. And these two fucken racists are looking at me grinning. That night it was about forty below and die fucken no wind and the last bus of the night. No card, no money on me. Card no bank machine I think.

Anyway they look at me are you in pain, is everything hell on you. There’s a homeless person at the bus stop. Probably hasn’t had a chance to help anybody in about 20 years. There’s a homeless person, let’s ask her if she wants to come back with us to get warm. Minus forty on cement with a winter coat. Good fucken luck. Anyway no. You can get the fuck out. Drop dead. Thanks lady. People wonder when I ditched these arse whole I left Saint John with. Especially mister Chris Armstrong and his help you when your down story. Fuck them. Too bad most of my friends around here are what I recently call repressed homo-sexuals. Had anyone spoke up beside. Mrs. Fucken help’em when he’s down Armstrong.

Anyway, I hope that ladies okay. I hope she’s got the husband the kid. And I hope he’s a fuck’en rock star at school.

Hi.

Hi, I know you thought I was going to go on about. Me, I’m the one, and the only one. The one that means the one and I am that one. I could be no other than that one. I’m super one. The one from when Time began. There could be no other one than the one that is me that is the one.

Yes I guess I could go on an on. About how repetitive it would be to go on and on, about how I am the one. But I would like to say a few words about being the only one. God that is.

Over the next "few days" hint hint. We are probably all going to go through a phase were everybody starts to say. He ain’t the one. There ain’t only one. The one is just the who or the what.

The punch line is that they probably think that I can not doing any when or where stuff. I mean really I know I can, I believe I can. But can you believe I can too. And maybe just maybe you’ll get a glimpse at who.

You see there are other people who feel they run this world. And the closer this get’s to being the kind of world I want to have. The more and more these "old time fucks" are going to come out of the wood work and try to convince you otherwise. They do this because the closer it get’s to the top in the end. The more stupid it will make you to believe that I do not run this earth.

You see it’s their little secret. They absolutely do not want you to believe that I rule this earth. The "stars the moon the whole fucken earth."

And for that reason and that reason alone they’ve tried to kill little Brian all my life. Well hey someday I felt like killing myself too. If you think they love living their little secret. They sure the fuck love those days. Sometimes it’s when I’m taking a shit. I’ll be all constipated and then I’ll want to die. Great pain, great pain. Whoo whoo whoo. And then it’s out and over with.

Funny, If you where to ask em this tomorrow I would laugh my head off at the fact that I’d want to talk about that. Then if I’m with the right chick and you bring it up. I hope your girlfriends near cause we’ll talk about it and then we’ll all laugh at you and hope you die.

Fuck and me I don’t have to worry about what I hope for.

Anyway I was in the can , talking to the Indian and black man about what it was like to have to use camel skin for hut’s instead of grandma’s and how they’s stupid but not like we don’t fuck up once in a while.

I looked over at the skull I have to keep change in and I said to myself. I bet a lot of people think all that prestuff right up to "life" had a lot to do with the creation of this universe. I have to laugh.

Sure a lot of those things are here. Eventually it all will be. Either out there or up there or in here. And I thought know. I had a lot of cool ideas. Like there are these guys who look like chess pieces and they like talk. But not like we do. They’re like the timeless ones, I call them. Not all those ideas just those guys. And they would say funny things that made me think. I would say ideas everytime I got them to give me a laugh, but it happens so fast you would swear that that they got me to laugh. Anyway they are a fucken riot. I still get a laugh when I see them. They killed me, in the end. Just kidding. Fuck fuck’en hilarious.

Anyway, One time there is this wall of brick wood and there is a water behind it. A very dark water. And I’m "walking" towards the wall. I’m about to do a "little investigating" real serious like and then walking right up behind me. The timeless ones. Ohh my fuck I’m turning and laugh thinking about about what goings on because I’m not just thinking from the laugh like I usually would be supposed to. Then latter like now I realize that I might not want to investigate everything about woman. I might not enjoy real ones as much when they are around.

Fuck I think that was funny. Used here this one. There is a bar in Montreal called foufouns electric. And I go in and it looks way different than I remember. I’m like. It used to be bigger and all that. All this basically is is where white people go to trade drugs.

Anyway as time went on it expanded to the point where it started to look like the one I used to go to before time. Then about the time when they put in the swimming pool. In the one I used to go to. The started putting this gym thing in. I was disappointed till one of the Girls. (That’s what they called them back then) I had a crush on. Put up this sign thing right in the middle of the night. She was like on the wall or a step ladder or something. And I thought. Wow, you like it. It can’t be all bad. Off course the place pretty much went hell after that. Of course those who don’t believe those things might wonder about how much got done in one year.

I mean I’ve heard of expansion but his place was nuts. Ha ha. Fuck it would have been fun if those timeless guys showed up. But bye then I’d killed them because I couldn’t think of anything to do with them.

Anyway….Humm-a Maybe Not.

It makes me tired to talk about the old days. Night day. "what up with dat!?" I loved life. I was in love with life. And then it occurred to me. I must kill everybody so I could make an earth. This was the greatest day ever. Of course it took time and planing. But I manage to have some fun along the way.. So I decided to do the same here. I’ve had my who. It wasn’t easy. But to say I lived it well. I kept having to come back here for.

I Am A Race Of One.

I am a race of one. I am not all in one place. It’s fun. Actually I am according to all the laws of physics, math, neutronium, philosophy. Off all the other things though. If I may quote the timinazong, "he ain’t all there." Which I hear here. It’s right fucked up. I love being me. I know I know the most important things to get down is the protect the body stuff. Then it’s on to the weird stuff. It will make you laugh it will make you think.

I know I sound weird for writing this stuff down. I do though. Remember the sealed chamber. Who do you think lives at the end of this. Those that just couldn’t quite be our friends. Or those that decided. "This is fuck-en God man, I’m in !!!"

I’ll tell you truthfully. If your not prepared to be my friend. You’ll be dead. There ain’t know way about it.. There is no time to change. If your having a child right now. I hope your happy. If your really really into such a scene. Then if you could wait a few years. Let'’ say 2005 or so. Then I would really appreciate it. Maybe your kid will to.

I hate dad kid. I really do. Right in the middle of world war three. Don’t go dropping a babie in on the scene. Wait it out. What’s a matter scared your going to stay young. I mean yeah I know people have to age… Right now a few people I’ve seen around for about ten years are begging to look, I don’t know a week to a month older. It’s frightening. I mean is this to be it. I’ll always be young, well twenty three that ain’t too bad. But if I was with the right woman. Don’t you think we’d find a way. I mean this earth is upset and it does need dead people. But maybe with the right woman. I would be okay. I could either, learn to live with myself and dump her when she started to look old. Or I could maybe make her look young and then play around with her little child mind when she came home tired. You know like men are supposed to.

What Is It Like To Be God.

Well, humm. The funny truth of the day. Is in the real world there are suburbans and psycho killers. I Love then both? No in the real world there are good psychokillers and good suburbans.

If one was to take a pie chart and show the amount of good psycho killers compared to the amount of good suburbans. Like if they all hung out the psycho killers and the suburbians. You would find that the good psycho killers and the good suburbans all out number the others.

Now which group has the highest percentage of good suburbans to good psycho killers. The psychokillers. They are on a mission. They have embraced life. As their psycho analysts though. Why do they come after me, and if that is true, how come I’ve never been killed by one. Often a bad psycho killer or a bad suburban will see something that makes them think God can help me. I think God alone can help me.

They might say what does he like. The suburban might open a shop, a diner or something. Someplace where people gather and they "chew the fat".

The psycho killer might want to do the same. The thought is as you’ve probably guessed. In The connection. Like I said earlier. What are you here for. Why is your life important to me, or me, or me. No matter what the mood I’m in. Well there you go the psychokiller might have a connection. Something they like. But it’s like the diner thing. I love diner things. They are like my Israel. The coolest of the cools. There all the time all over the world, and once in a while I go in. I have my breakfast. And I know that everything is okay.

So what does the psychokiller have to offer. Like I would have said "ham and eggs" and now said breakfast. The thing, the connection psychokillers offer me is Time. If you take the four bonds of marriage. I’d been going on about. Magic, natural magic,(I don’t know, don’t tell.), Let’s say Fung Shui, or What has happened to me, (Time). Everything I know that has happened to me is "Time".

What we consider time is just that and it is a bond of marriage. Very important to me. Is magic even in time, really. Is natural magic a part of time just as important. Is the blending of two lives, a blending that goes forever in time. Time. I’ve let some pretty fucked up things happen to me.

I am time. Now say that to yourself, if you’re here. "He is time". Being God is freaky, but the discovery of being time is freaky too. Everything that happens to me affects time. This has happened to me before. If you’ve ever heard stories about me being with friends and coming back all freaked out, from a walk on "the mountain."

It’s because, you know how you do stuff to me and I let it go… Something stopped me from telling them to stop because they would get hurt. Time. You see I’m God. I don’t forgive, forget, forgobble. But even if I wanted to tried real hard. It was a mistake, you know al that stuff. If I’ve been personal affected in anyway. It will come back to you. That means anything good, anything bad you do to the earth, air, moon stars, myself’s yourself. Me, myself in person. Any of those things that get back to me, passed out or otherwise. Have affected time.

Sorry to go on about that too much. But if you look at the forth really strong vow of marriage. It is just as strong and complicated. I saw a guy appear in a store, just to stop something that would affect his marriage, maybe ten, twenty years from now.

So who has the better life. Psychokillers, suburbans. I think it comes down to your vow of marriage vows. Of of of this is getting of. Magic, do you like that, you do stuff and you would swear people around you are doing stuff to get things done for you and then you get to see people appear and stuff. Natural magic. You look like your fucken dead or possessed sometimes then these people are like talking to you that haven’t said hi in a while.

Fung, shui. Where things around you seems like it has to be moved, "Once in a while." Until the other person comes along, and then it’s like there’re moving stuff too.

Yes in the real world you get to see furniture stores open and close, stuff like that.

Or Time. Me what happens to me affects your marriage. Yes it is a little more complicated than with another person. This that we do affect me. And things that are done to me. The only way, this is done directly, in a normal sane world. Affect me too.

There is also the fact that my marriage includes all four.

Well, that’s it I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m going to go on and on about my wife now.

The formal bows of marriage though. Fuck that is cool. All a person has to do to get with me, have magic vow, natural magic vow, Fung Shui vow, and Time, including affecting time directly.

Of course the diner I eat in affects me directly. The clothes I wear affects me directly. So to those other types of suburbans, those psycho killers. That are going to give me my earth. That are going to let people worship me. Etc. Those those that feel they can control magic, nature, fung shui, Time. I say "Good Fucken Luck." Because according to or research according to our reconnaissance. You be dead.

It’s funny. I’d love to own a shop during a fung shui experience. One minute your all setup things are going good. Next thing you know it’s like a storm. You’ve got to be somewhere. You’ve got to get things done. The storm is coming, or the "breeze that does not blow." And if your in the right place or out of there. Your screwed. Your gong to be the one sinking the ship. Someone has taken your place. There’s no reason to panic. You’ve missed the wave, abandon ship. You might come out alive. The shop that is. You didn’t do anything directly to poison or dissuade my brothers.

Life the big lie. If all I had to offer life. Maybe one person on this entire planet would take that. There is something very sexual about what I’m saying when your just lying there.

I have more to offer though..(I better be careful or she’s going to be all what instead of who. Heh heh heh. Maybe I wont be too hard to be with because I’m fucking God and it will balance out. And there is other stuff too.

But I do have more to offer people than just life. Trust me, If I don’t want you to be alive, I’m taking that gift back. Constantly as we speak, till the year 3000 if I have to. But there is other things than life. There is magic, and nature, real magic in nature. And there is Fung Shui. To avoid kung fu cutting each other when your making potatoes years latter.

And then there is Time, not God pursay keeping you together, who’s ta say. But Time it self. Over time and under time and did that sound nice and know why life ain’t fair. It’s the best I could do. And turning on the TV while I stand there glaring going I told you there is nothing Good on. And you’re the kidd being the kids who turned it on. And you better not pull a blow job on me or take one away after that. It could be the power plant. And I thought the Fung shui would work and it didn’t because the rooms to small and it turns out I thought you were in the now. And it me being stupid talking to you with my mind and I kiss you to make it up and it’s because I wanted the best for you. And without even knowing it you’ve made me feel like I’m the best. Cool. Because I’d never say that. I might think it. And then I’d realize your not in the now and we’d know each there so well. It would all work out. And even if hell itself. Pretend hell. Was to occur. I’d still kiss you and you would leave me, because we’d be like, kill them all and let God sort it out. And like no one would come alone with there fucken Napalm. Dish deodorant to seal in the death. And those fuckers would be dead.

I think I should get this down, before I go to far in this book. If you need me. Separate from you not mathematically the same. Not earth ingredients the same. Not from the same pod. Philosophically I might wonder about.

But some people might wonder about. Have you ever seen the guys who can protect their kids. Like there is a storm in the rain on TV or anything like that. The grab the kids and run away before the lightening get there. You see there is a difference between a lightening storm and just a rain storm. I always liked the run into the house and then back out when the sun comes out sort of approach.

Anyway, as the the sun shines in the sky and I have a pretty good idea where the trees are in the ground. There is a pattern to this universe. Like tree roots growing up though the ground. The ground and the tree, "agree" that this will take place. The process will require both the earth to open, let’s say, and the roots to enter the deeps of the earth even more. This is the way it is. Some people live their lives that way. Is this what I mean by natural magic. If your thinking your the only one who can get there kid out of the lightening storm along the way. You’ve lost your way along the way.

So I guess technically once again, people who follow God aren’t worried that their father is some evil bastard trying to kill them. While on the other hand those that are are hopefully all okay and ready to get back in there. and everything will be okay in the morning. Or the next morning. New world. Pretty much the same. Not much different. What are they going on about.

Enough about you though. This is my Book. I’m God and this is what and I’m trying to find out what. About myself. I don’t like to be convinced that I’m not God. Remember I found out a lot about what you call what God is and all that along the way as well. And I really don’t like to be told I’m not what God is, or when people get way off base about what God is. I’m finding out what. And that may sound like how I make a decision, or who gets to live or die. But what is more about what I am. I know we live in math, and science, and the laws of physics and stuff. "That’s all cool and the gang." But what am I. What am I made of. Like I said. Really by the end of what. I’m not sure I’ll be built in Time. What am I. Yeah I can see that. That is a great who. I’ve traveled the universe. Stuff like that. Mostly the Fung shui’ers. How the fuck did that happen… Magic. Natural magic, natural selection. The species meeting down to the very fiber of this f-ing thing this time. When I say I’m a Masculine straight God. It does mean I don’t like. Any man, or women who are into women. Staring at me so much they are seeing my let’s say graph/graft or fiber of my being. But is going to take time for the enemy to stop doing.

Time what do the what my being has experienced people talk about. We’ll everything from "Star trek" to how "I" teleported into that store. Bone’s reporting, "If I have to do that again. You can rip out my skull if it makes you feel better" They talk about stuff like that.

Doesn’t mean your going to die if you kiss a tree. Doesn’t mean your going to drown if you moved a store into a place you two don’t go to. Doesn’t mean if you tell a guy that "Q sucked his knob." Your going to die. Magic. Don’t fuck with the magic. I’ll give you a clue. If all I said before means God can take a Joke and we all have our moments and sometimes I get angry over something I couldn’t do myself. It especially means don’t fuck with the magic. Magic people, magic things. Two separate things. You ever heard of stop playing God. Never on your life in a million fucken years fuck with the Magic. People who claim to be part of magic,,, I’d like to know how. Never even bother with them. They are too fucked up. I can definitely see being a person going, "I’m a crystal, I’m a crystal" all sorts of things like that. Some are outright hilarious. Anyway it’s a thing like staring at my uterus or something. You might come out alive.

The Closeing Of The End

Yes, I’m drawing near to the end of this book. I’d just like to say that I started doing this for something to do before it would be safe for my bride and me to get together. If you could take the thought of heading towards the right girl makes your life better. Or heading towards the wrong girl makes your life worst, then this is definitely the right girl. I mean I’ve never had such an easy time writing a book. I’m digging it.

Right now in Saint John, there is so much going on. Cereal killers off to the left. Rapist and lunatics visiting and being judged everyday. As far as fun and good times go. There is a bar. I think a secret lesbian, lair where they lay their traps by setting up males to, take the fall, in front of their mindless Home-wives.

Yes I can see their plan so easily. Like I can start to see mine. Oh be the way if you’re a friend and all. Don’t try and rush too much through this book. I’m not in a hurry to get to the when. And these are, not mostly, very not mostly, expressions the when and the where and all that. I mean if you have something in the past you have to change or something like that. Don’t think rushing is going to help.

Also, maybe once this sets in we’ll all enjoy a little rest.

Right now there is a war on American television. Troops paraded across the screen. Soon, there will probably be troops that died in the gulf and other wars right there on the TV. Years latter they where going to fight for something. Nothing in there world has changed. They still look for a world with invisible walls.

You want to give me money for something, "no strings attached", fine. No problem. I might even give you an autograph. Someone got one the other day. I wont say who but their friends could sure learn some manners.

Hey I just thought of a even more summation way of saying, or writing the commands. People without manners don’t matter. I mean that scientifically of course.

Like I was saying though, if your out there and you wan to pay me for some miracle or favor. Have already passed the don’t pay the church test. Don’t look for someone else wounds to un-heel. I’ll take it out of your ass instead.

The only thing I ask is that you. A, very important, don’t pay some ex-cereal killer rapist/chicken fucker, to come in here and give me a cigarette.

Happens every day. Jesus, I know Jesus, Then it’s off to the races, or where ever else those people go. Haven’t seen a dime yet, not a scratch.

As I’ve mentioned, the local zone is also crawling with every-type of crook, asshole and racial-stereotype the world would imagine.

You might think they are all after me, no. There were hoping to turn Saint John and New York, into well. A lawless zone, I guess. You know a place for crooks to go when the heat was on, that sort of thing. If you’ve ever stalked a cereal killer or tried to prevent what I sometimes refer to as, "a long haul hustler." (They don’t do bold criminal activity, then are used for a killing or mass murder, some are retired and some are retired.) Then you know that places like this are as resting places for the criminals, a place where they can come to take off running factor. My local nut house is a good example. That place has been taken over I couldn’t tell you how many times. Always with the same result. They begin behaving like the people who used to work there before. It’s in the walls as they same.

And then of course the long haul hustlers are there as well, trying to learn to blend in. The funny part is there trying to blend in with a bunch of hardcore criminals. Good practice. But that is what they try to do.

I imagine, New York must look like every hardcore criminal, every international leader killer that is still living, is walking around going yeah we got them.

If they got away with so much, how come they have to be so stoned. How come they, they can’t live with themselves, How come they have to come here and go there to hide. What’s a matter did you join the wrong side.

Yeah, so like I said, this city is way to dangerous, for ma and pa, to come breezing though to pay me for anything. But if you feel like it cut out the middle man. That includes, no phoning my bank. I might decide to use how you know what bank I have I a court of law. No phoning my folks or family matters. Telling them how to live. The list goes on, it also includes not phone my government, any branches of the military, or police departments. All these are viewed as an attempt to have "real men" fall into your stereo-typical born again view of what I am. I am not your new television monetary "Love-desiple".

Take your cash enjoy your summer holidays and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

On a personal note I think I killed someones hitman today. Sorry about that but I don’t take being stalked lightly. I think they wan to be near death or something, look, if you knew how small a part of my life death is. I think a lot of those people would lose their fascination with me.

In a life time of maybe a billion years. Death will eventually be one second of it.

What A Citizen Should Know

Well for one thing, I’ve taken over. No all your governments pensions etc didn’t disappear. But I’m sick of it. This need for me to have a day Job, well paying or otherwise. Is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard of in my life. That is why I made you all half evil to begin with. I’m sorry for anybody who got caught in the cross fire. Myself included. It’s stupid though and I’m not putting up with it.

The local crazies and killers aren’t weren’t really zoning in on death, even though they do it more and more everyday. I think many of them get a kick out of people disappearing when the distance between us grow too long.

Anyway the people who send them around and ship them are probably hoping just for the place to rest and learn. They’re actually hoping I’ll move soon so they can make fun of many things. Personally they like to have me in a city like Montreal where they can make fun of me, as a failure for not joining their kill and steal for a living "economy". As they make fun of global governments for making God have a day job. The part about what they are making fun of government for is funny. All they offered me was jobs and lifestyles that would take more time than any day job I’ve ever thought of.

So the both of them, the wrong side and the right side offered me day Jobs anything, but stop being God. Funny more and more citizens don’t want to put up with it.

I can’t blame them though. I lost any thought that government, global or otherwise would work out long ago. Truthfully. With what I know, I can over no faith, that the government of this country or any other country is going to do anything for me for being God.

I’ll probably end up getting a day job eventually. Only when I’m sure it’s not going to affect what I do the rest of the time though.

I know, if your thinking my life is hell or awful, you should know that my job can be done while eating pizza or having a coke at the mall.

I wont on the other hand be cleaning a toilette or scubbing a chalk board in front of a class while I’m ascending someone to hell or holding observances over a dying/dead grand mothers funeral.

So I do a lot. I like to have control of myself. (I’m taking over). No if ands or buts. If you think that means you joined the wrong side. Your wrong though. Because I’ve told you. Manners, is the right way to live. And that my friends, is true.

I think it’s important to to remember, that as You’ve turned to God through out your life and I’ve given you advice. I stick by what I’ve said. You might be an asshole who I’ve fooled into thinking that your going to win the war. Or you might be doing things that you never thought you’d do. And loving it. Of course you might have to move on or stop sometime in your life too. Like I’m asking these "world leaders" to do. We’ll see who let’s go easier. Each and every one of them had the chance or opportunity to just call it quits and go home.

I’m looking forward to seeing the light on this book. It should offer many interesting things that might help with me getting into being myself again. Sure I’ve been myself. But not on top of it myself. You know I’ve been behind the scenes me. Not right in your face me. It’s funny you know the local killers and thugs. If you give them the finger. They phone the police. Fuck I’m glad I don’t have people like that working on my side. My guess is they probably kill old ladies and people right after surgery. Because no one else would hold the hold the blade for them when their hands got too week.

Fuck, I bet they don’t like the word fuck too much either. Men and women, who were never really raised well, all looking for their mom or dad out there in the wild. I laugh, why didn’t they find God. Well because I’m not really your mom or your dad. Shit I’m not even related to you at all. If I didn’t have two arms or legs you’d probably think that I was like everywhere or something.

My Mohawk

Well, I’m thinking about getting a mohawk, I know it sounds weird. God with a mohawk. It’s only going to get worst. Who knows what I’ll look like at the end of this book. I mean I God, I’m me, I am Yeeyoh. A good mohawk. If anybody was watching this video the other day. They had a back-fly about these people who’ve chosen to live, sort of like those beings I’ve talked about earlier. The ones that made me laugh and stuff. Anyway, you got-a include the business men, who look almost the same. We never see their wives, and the roomers of cars are not for the young.

Female business types who would have thought…

Anyway, as all that old stuff is phased out this will become more and more the reality. So hear I am, some of those things as old, or older than shape. And I’m watching this and thinking ot myself, realizing that the form, or shape of my bride must be something from that time as well.

The look, oh yeah I’m spreading disease and pestilence throughout the youth who judge each other by looks and economic/social status. My way of saying grow up.

So what does she look like. I mean sure each person has an individual DNA pattern that tells what they have done what are going to do and what they tried to do. And woman, who are the smarter species when compared to man, spend quite an amount of time working on their looks. Many have a look. On a comical note; the possession of an idea for a look will often cause the weaker of the species to wait till they see that look on another of their species.

Often the a new look will be copied by these people while they wait for others to form their look. Many women do not enjoy their look being copied. Most people learn to live with some sort-a compromise.

Well, what is her look. I know it changes, she changes with me over time. It’s like watching my desires in slow motion like a beautiful black wedding dress bride twirling in air. Slowly as what I’m really into changes and forms and takes shape she evolves into liking it as well. Much like the couples will arrive at a conclusion.

But is the form that way as well. I would say. Physically your way off if you think I’d know who would chose me. Not without looking at the DNA. But then again she’d have to have chosen me at a young age. Then to have chosen me early enough to know what she was getting into.

Then as the development continues she should have noted key changes in her DNA. Like many "punk rock brides" at this point she might decide to back out of the whole deal. I mean fuck man, I got a life," you know that sort of thing. But if she continue to think I was going to be her husband, all through, the You don’t know who I am, I can’t feel like I am, this ain’t going the way I had originally planned. She might at this time decide on a look. What does Gods wife look like. Reading material. There’s more reading material on you, my bride, than there is on Hitler Stalin, and Quebec, put together. I, "think" they refer to her as the Goddess.

There is even strange references to early, "punk rock brides" explaining why they couldn’t form so close to "the womb". I think one of the references is the three sisters at the cross roads.

Once the DNA is in motion, for trully yours should never form.

The look, is composed of what you think you should look like to be my bride, the form which is in outer, or what could be referred to as interstellar space. This form and your experience and experience at looking should help with the look if your helping to form this look. Oh yes by the way I thought I’d mention this, when you take on these looks or any looks like them, you should know that they are registered to to let’s say the planet or universe itself. I am not reasonable for any result of having or wearing the wrong look.

Should something regrettable occur you might want to search for the right look before changing. This is all to prevent anything awful occurring. Should you begin to look like stereo-typical over 65 year old looking person you will no longer be held responsible for looking the look you’ve been looking like.

Top avoid anything to tragic, please try to at least be trying to have a look that suits what you and I think you should look like. Should your look really look the opposite of all that then your in for something very tragic.

I’ve always thought of her as the best looking girl in any room. To the point of having trouble making friends. It’s common, these materials she owns. The design is older than this universe itself. There is a personality there you know. I’m not going to change that, who’s personalities the strongest we’ll have to see. Many religions and cultures talk about the Goddess, for hot she really is. I’ve discussed the flow and give and take and the universal time components of what it is to be together with her.

There is a personality to being my wife though. I know the plans been changed since I first got here. All the way back to the original 0063 truthfully. So the personality changes back there as well, becoming what I need it to become. Again and again, my faithful companion. Right by my side since I decided to do it. To be to exist. To not just be ,a being, floating in the void. To truly go on with my life to take shape.

How far back does my look go. Do I have anything other than a look. What happened to my DNA. How different an I look. I think my I become my look till the point where my look becomes the center of what I can return to. Like I don’t know maybe I’ll be shaped like a lizard/dragon someday in bed. And as long as I can come back. That’s cool. But what so I look like. I’m not even sure that image I have of the sun is true. It’s an old memory. But a look, a real punk rock look. That is interesting. My funniest "reading" memories are of creatures of shadows all able to kill me almost instantly. Not even thinking of it though. Wondering maybe why I was there, why I had come to visit their strange lands. I loved the shape of them though. Like if they made love to each other the shadows looked like they could rub up against each other, like we move skin to touch each other.

So do I have a look, or am I a look stealer. Actually the looks match the planet time of the universe we are in so technically, yeah I do have a look. Cloths, how to make real fabric, not shadow fabric part of my look, or should I bother to do that.

What do I and she sound like. That’s a good one too. Maybe we have different sounding voices for certain occasions. Like if we’re making fun of people who are stupid or stupid looking, do we have an original voice that we use to do so, one that makes it hard for them to notice.

Maybe making these voices and stuff is fun. They all are the looks, the sounds, the voices, the touches and most of all the miracles. Maybe I’m not asking for a girl that can be into anything or change into anything, maybe it’s about miracles touches, voices, sounds, looks, and manners. Each to their own degree.

Funny once again I got talking about her and away I went. How much of this will change. Will, my need to have a mohawk disappear. What is what, how much what is going to affect this look this watch this need to have her by my side. To those that got into all those things and decided along the way. Maybe your still a "punk rock bride" maybe you just aren’t "my punk rock bride". I’ve seen the group of you you know milling abut. Waiting for me to ask or thinking it’s your secret fantasy, no Idea that it was affecting your looks. I hope you had fun. I don’t think much of it was fake so you should be alright. I know I thought you where all beautiful, in your own way. I wonder though, was your dream really to fall off the wagon that far. Maybe you met some else. Maybe their look hasn’t come out yet.

I need to go back to my roots though, to find the special me. Here’s something few people know. I’ve never come onto a woman I had any intentions of going out with. The smoosh is a huge turn off for me. It’s like, I don’t know spitting on my grave and watching someone else urinate on it latter when they go home.

So you see as the world enters my total control. Fuck stop at rule, what a duffus. Then I’ll have to command more and more of it till… You’ll wonder did he spit on my toothbrush, the sinks clean.

I’m pondering what is the friendship factor on all this. In this new plan what whereing world. Is there a look, or sub-look catagorie for those that I hang out with. I’m not a big friend person. It comes from being low income, people who like you want to give you stuff, but they can’t communicate well because of lousy upbringings so they mime a dollar here or there. It’s quite disgusting.

No that’s the truth, I’m not a big friend person. Their pointless. I love hanging out. Same people at the mall, or what ever you call a mall, but hanging out, sipping tea, sure that sort of thing. Friends, though, I don’t know I think I’ll be friends with the wife for about five years or so first. Their just icky.

Of course financially people from low incomes have to work together.

I think that is why me and the woman want each other so much, we really don’t get the friend thing. And when you don’t get it, the only fun around people is hanging around. The only thing necessary about making friends with your loved one is the physical contact. And there your so close that you’d wan the person to die, if you broke up.

Friends sell out. It’s a fact of life. Their just not close enough for me, to give a fuck about them. If they don’t have cool long turn buddies. They are screwed. That’s not just me, people sell out ever day. It’s how we have albums and stuff.

Of course with inflation. There no reason to believe that albums or any of that will continue to be produced that way.

I’ve been God, now I’m going to be what God is.

You Know It’s Funny.

What happens when you die. Well, what happens when you die is simple. Your dead. No ray of light, calling for the end, no, finish line. The end is the end.

That would be in one of those worlds if the world could be like I wanted it to be. Instead though, you can have a lot of options or you can go to hell. Now the lot of options, they include, being born again. Me deciding what the right place and time for you are. Having your hair done in a salon and then, "getting back in there." Meeting your maker. Me placing you in a time tunnel where you keep walking forward, till you finally get to go to hell.

This ones not done too much anymore, but having your body exhumed. It means that basically you start with a first cut and then your body is harmed over and over again till your finally ready to go back to living where I rule and command etc. Over where you thought you lived. This is only done for people I would care to hear from again. Like I said it’s rare.

Oh yeah and then there is the cock sucker, now she’s my wife and I hate to talk about her this way, but she dies, almost every night, hopefully. This corpse is then carried up to the stars where we make love for hours. It’s quite silly though.

I Must Speak Economically, I Think People Can Here My Writing

Well, the economy could use a mention. I’ve gone on about everything else. A, I should mention that I love money. Love it, coolest concept ever. Do I like the way things are no. I thought AIDS would be enough. The city I’m in, is about 90% AIDS most days.

Anyway, I thought I’d give a shout out to those that own shops and stuff, you know cool people. Here’s your shout, prices have gone way down, what’s the hold up.

Anyway, like I said before, we got your AIDS. We got your NAS, we Got your ATM and we got your bubonica.

So I would like to direct these comments to those that might like to restart such a stupid economy where… All the prices go up and new things are over priced to the point of madness. There really is no way to express my hatetredd for what has been tried to be done to my money. But I’ll try.

I’ve been trying this whole time. I mean like, I’m not going to try harder than I do with anything else. If I like what your doing with your money. Good things will happen to you. If I don’t you die.

It’s the same with all those things. Enchantment, death, bonds of marriage, and Money. If you fuck with them you will die. Does that mean free loonies and twoonies are bad. No way. Make love to it. Maybe your enchantments got all caught up in your money and you thought death missed while you was falling in love.

What is the what of the economy. The what of the economy is the same as the who, and everything else everybody tried to do. For one those that would have tried to kill us during anarchy end up owning a few shops in the end. It’s really quite funny. You’ve heard of having the fight knocked out of you. These guys take it to the extreme. I mean even tiny guys are walking by and giggling. But the cool girls go, "fuck don’t wake him up. Sit the fuck down over there."

So basically money is not being treated like money. It’s a shame really money rocks. I love fucken money. But if you try and make it something that I don’t rule. It will do things to your mind. You’ll fuck your kids, that dog over there will start to look good. Till finally I rule you. Now I rule you anyway. But I mean crazy motron. I fucken rule you. Do you think that will make you take the prices down, fuck no.

Quite the opposite. You’ll continue to put prices up. You start and finishs doing things that are different form country to country. Non good. All evil.

Anyway that is it for now, anything good to say to anybody about money. Get rid of the middle man. Fuck the pocket and the time card and all that shit. Do what you will with it, what my spirit tells you. Remember it connects with all the other things though. The whole fucken universe.

Remember then that that means I rule it. Is it the only thing ruling you. Well if it is you’ve got something. Either class, or AIDS, either grace, or style. Oh did I mention that. Money is very masculine. Money is I rule you right to it’s very fiber. It contains the law of this universe was not created for you but for me. It’s true it’s raw.

From it’s very nature money was formed to give the economic universe a grip on what I am. What I stand for, and what life is all about. You see an old person who just won a bunch of money and they seem happy. They’re embarrassed.

But it’s there winding in your very skull what makes money different. I’m going to tell you what I know for sure. Money can be from the beginning or from the ending. In the beginning. I don’t give a fuck couldn’t give a fuck. Everybody but me could die and I wouldn’t give a shit. The whole universe is just something to try out to see you know, if it would work. Something not made of self. Not me, made from a part of me, but not me.

I forged that fucker. That thing is set up so that assholes make themselves look like assholes. Right fucken clear. And non-assholes well they do as good as times dictate they do.

Maybe you think that’s broke, maybe you think so new technology has come along to end all that.

How rich are you when your lying in a hospital with AIDS. Dying, then it’s your son’s fault. He has to deal with it.

Forged. And then, at the end, how far away is that you might ask. Heh heh. It sits rewarding everybody that’s been good, everybody that ever did anything to help me, and of course burns in hell anybody who tried to fuck with my marriage, my life. The people at an ends life etc.

If your into the flow like I was talking about earlier, you might ask yourself, how does this affect that. If you have to ask that your probably someone who is not going to be around till the end. A mean you take getting paid for something. You take the money you get and you by food. Everything is affected by money, and as that flow is a very big part of money. Mine and her flow all wrapped in their together.

So economically speaking a person could make a cleaning right now or they could end up I don’t know. Milking a camel in Africa to get hash they could buy from a stereo-typical poor kid in Nouveu Brunswick.

So why don’t I worry. I don’t worry because just like God had a plan for me now he has a what.

My Music And Why It Sucks

I cracked a joke about my music being from an alien ship once and everyone believed me. I have to laugh, most of my music is from to coin a better phrase angels.

They don’t really exist. Once in a while I’ll open up a moon or a planet that doesn’t really stay there and then I’ll get an album here on earth.

Now a days I just sit there or walk there and the stuff is there. Mostly I don’t bother lately. People don’t take it seriously. It’s gothic. Don’t fuck with it. You know that sort of thing. Then they write extra rules especially for me.

I’m starting to get side tracked in this book and I’ll tell you why. Naw this is about what. What am I. A friend hater. No, but have I had people who in some distant realm I considered my friends sure. And they sold out. And do you know why because they refused to move to the right city. I think they are stupid.

Maybe when I’m all done with this universe and it’s all over I’ll make a list of my friends. I bet it will be a long list. More than I can individually mention.

What, I’m trying to say is I didn’t wan them, they came along. I think that’s cool. I’m just not as freak out over as when I was young. I mean those guys from way long ago where cool too. So what is the difference. I’m alive. Your living. I’m hanging with an entirely different species. Much less than the animal kingdom. It’s true. Outside the zoo, animals are the coolest nicest people you want meet.

Economically I know I have a very/sort-a rich person hanging around me lately. I wish she’d go away. I’m sick of it. It’s like watching something tell you over and over again they are the boss. I’m God fuck-nut. If there are enough couples out there that fight over who’s the boss. You would think someone who wants the guy to be the boss would wake up. I mean fuck dude. We’re not asking everone wo become super knowledge religio-spiritual persons here. But I am asking for a little sense when it comes to who, you are compared to who I am.

No I wouldn’t. You are too out dated. Living in some sort-a past where, the "poe" want to hang out with the rich…."if only they’d let us.

Fuck, we all know your out for something. Like cartoon virgins strutting around with there screwed in the middle loonies hanging from their waste. Dankling from their crotch.

You decided to get rich while Christ almost died. "We, decided to get lives get our shit together."

The first thing I’d want from anyone with an over $30,000 a year income these days would be an AIDS test.

Truthfully you just too different, what you hold dearly. Sometimes for the Universe I think.

What am I.

What Is My Look

My look, is that of an almost punk, an almost successful business man, a Poor punk who couldn’t afford the patches. A guy who spends all his time worry about himself. I’m a hair freak. I actually have very classic features. I look sort of european form a distance, female. I can look different and truthfully I came as fire.

I can change what I am, but I’m not really into this changing to the point of harming myself. I mean it sucks I finally get a look and it’s burnt right the fuck out of me.

Well here is the secret truth. I get better, all the time. I get better looking. I get stronger. I get mightier. I get quicker with the miracles.

I guess my what is all about becoming God the whole freaking thing, right here on earth.

What To Do Till When.

What to due till when. Well I’m hoping everything will be okay. Right now there are so many changes out there that I’m unsure as to any political statement I’d make. Finacially it means that once again people are trying to build some sort of God machine that will let them know what they each think of each other after they get together to make decisions about how I should live my life.

Evil there is no other way to describe this than evil. I’ve never seen it done so stupidly or callously. But there it is almost every countries dream of a world ruled by God with cool people on the top taken away by stereo-typical images of the top being about money and how much of it you have.

Absolutely stupid. So I guess I see who goes for it over the next few years.

What do I do till when, I’ll tell you. Hopefully live the most fucked up magical miracle mystifying, timely experience, fun time of my life. Same as I’ve done my whole life.

That’s what I’m hoping to do. I’m just not freaking myself out anymore. I used to you know have a fun time all the time. But now everything is about death, and about p[rotecting myself. Not to mention the Nerds who keep going on about anything different like it’s the their personal earth.

Fuck what I’d like to see during the what is the end of science. The end of anybody but me making decisions about human life.

I’d like to see myself improve in my public performance, truly though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this alone.

I just fucken hate them. I mean you come out and your hanging around and then I’m being nagged like a fucken fourteen year old.

I’m as old as a person could be. There is no older. Superman old. Nagged.

Anyway. I’d also lke to see any mistakes in this book taken away. Any of that make it up to you make your life worst now crap. Any of that I’m the boss your not crap. Any of the assholes who want to hold me back.

Miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

Miracle, super right, etc.

I hope to blow my fucken socks off. I really do. I mean it. If the Late eighties had cool miracles. Then I hope this city is going to have some really cool shit. The thing it could work on, In the future, is timing.

Let’s say fuck all those other countries and places till we get Saint John the way we like it. If I’m powerful enough then I’m gong to do it because truthfully. This city is too money driven for anybody to give a fuck about it. If you think I’m going to steal or involve myself in some sort of "Gay pride" movie about how I should be or how it should have been. You are stuck so far in the past, I don’t know if this city can put up with you.

Get the fuck out. Leave, be gone. Never come back. See you never. Bye bye, the finger. Get the fuck out of here you mind reading peace of crap. Bye bye.

On a lighter note. I’m predicting weather of storms, and weather that is so funnily fair, no one should ever have to worry about me again.

What Am I.

Well, I don’t know what I’m missing. I feel like I have way more time on my hands than I used to. I feel like half the world hates me and the other half would kill for me. I feel like a sinner a saint. I feel like Brian Robichaud. And being Brian robichaud ain’t good enough. I feel like I’m going to do something so important at the end of this who, Which I’ve been through, what, when, where, continuum that will make up for my life. I feel that life before then is going to be off and on so artificial that I might fall in love with it. I think I know a world where real life is better.

I know the past few days I’ve felt like it would end. Like I’m doing great and someone is going to rip that away from me.

I feel like there is a part of me that has planned such stupid things for me that it had no idea what it would be like to be human. I hate it. I wouldn’t be human again, not ever. I love who I am. I enjoy it.

I’ve heard a lot of people got healed during the wring of this book and I hope that is true. I just hope people don’t think that that healing is going to stop because I start writing. I’m going to live in this book soon. A little at a time, till I’m all the way there. Why not join me. We’re all gong to be in it. From your self, your loved one and the shit you flush down the toilet. Why not embrace it. Why not make your life a part of my plan for you.

I came across this guy in Montreal. I’d been walking and no one had offered to buy me a sandwich or a slice of pizza nothing. I thought every body wanted me to just die. I can’t do that.

I went up to this guy and I said, "hey guess what I’m offering?" He paused and looked at me with real interest. "Eternal life." I said.

He looked at me real serous like he wanted to hear more, like he was interested for the first time in what I was saying.

You know what I saw. Just a rich fuck with too much time on his hands and not a clue what life in the real world was like.

What an ass, stalking a poor man or God, just so he could feel all bad about himself and do another line up in some bathroom stall.

Why don’t they shoot guys like that I thought. Actually, my mind wen to work on what I would do to him, and anyone like him. The associate stupid with not bowing down to them. All dopers do. It’s there thing. They’re evil. Stupid and evil.

I hope is this world is finished back in the end. That we look back and can say. These are the people that tried. Those are the people who stood in their own way.

I love myself too much to write down the rest of what I think on the subject. You’ll have to get that from the air, the extra’s.

Speaking Yeeyoh

Speaking Yeeyoh. I’m here thinking about what life must have been like before I existed again. I was talking God and I thought that was great and everything and it occuered to me to speak yeeyoh. Why ot speak yeeyoh over and over again. That would be fun. Do you think people would understand me after a while. I think it would. I could just speak my language over and over again. Till I no longer was speakng anything that I would care for anybody to understand.

Then it occurred to me. While thinking about what it would be like to go around and talk this language no one understood. I think It would make for a fun day. They could try and hear what I’m trying to say over and over again. That way, I might be able to get somethings done, without everybody laughing at the same time to. I wonder how they get things done.

On a personal note. I hope charonazone, let’s my wife get though, amoungst other people. I think it’s sad that we can’t do the eyeball thing sooner. I think I thrust my self at home, but I’d like to be able to go to sleep knowing she’s okay. And that is not easy to do, in this city.

I once made a joke about I wondered if charonazone was my wife. We shared some laughs back in the day. Now charonazone seems more like a recurring character. Once we transition the "super wank" chicks in the time of the marriage together should be okay. I wonder if the charonazones of the outside world feel they are not recurring. Because in Todays world they must surely be out there.

I hear that things are going well. I wonder if charonezone is trying to include. Me I’d stay here for ever. Make my wife the only person aloud and create wanker chicks for me. I’m sure there are enough men for her to see.

There’re could be some protection from her screwing around after say 1993. I know she’s hard to see because of the fact that we are little hamsters in cages but his will all change eventually.

I wonder does anybody do any good up here. Is my wife just a collection of thoughts and ideas I had before creation?

I think that is possible, but in order for there to be any consistency. The person would have to have a history. Either a very Good one. That I might enjoy, in the long term, to listen to. Or one made up, like that Dawn Chick in that buffy show.

And that is that we go back to speaking our Yeeyohic language. The kind we like to say with little reminders and ear pieces that don’t fuck with the sound today.

The land of real music.

There seems to be some deep problems with some of the things I’ve said so far. Like about friends and everything. If you know anything about the world you know that I don’t make friends very lightly. You might think I do when I run into someone I haven’t seen for a long time. Funny isn’t it.

Here’s the deal. We’re about fifteen years away from the end of what I’ve set out to do. To make man.

I know this sounds weird. But the world is different. Look out your window. Breathe the air. I’m sure if I could have done that before, I sure the fuck would have. Peoples problems becoming simpler. I’m pretty sure I’m doing that too.

You want a good tip to being my friend, to making it to the end. Stop trying to play God. It’s stupid and your going to die before the end of this for doing that.

As I make friends rarely, and truthfully my card is pretty much fun. You should know I’m a spy. People have me down on their most wanted list, as Brian, but not as God. I want that changed, and I need it changed yesterday.

I don’t make friends easily. It’s just a thing. I don’t feel I’m desperate. Truthfully I’d say, that I have just about all the friends I need. All I need really though is to meet with this woman of my dreams. Part of why I say wait… is like I say about forty countries think it’s fun and funny to crucify God’s body in order to make him give up on helping humans.

It’s not that I want them to make it stop. I’m going to make them stop. They don’t control me and they don’t rule you. You should never let them get the best of you. I do rule. Maybe you’ll see me down on my luck, Or taken aback from a situation. Remember while your waying what I know or who I am as a person. I’m an Agent of God more than anything else. It’s getting very close to the end of this thing I call a life. People shouldn’t be testing my patients. Asking for miracles like there some form of performance art. Demanding I stop demanding I go. Not asking put forcing me to stay.

I’m God not something to be pushed around. Fancy push or otherwise. Don’t ask idiots for advice.

The only change you can sense on me is her. When next I’m with a woman, you better not be judging her as well. Either. Because there are many religions based on this woman and me.

I wont hesatate. You think ‘d let a single one of my friends tell me weather I’m with the right chick or not. You’ve got to be fucken kidding. My God man, my friends so far couldn’t tell they if they were with the right person… If they were form planet zortoast.

The guy at the mall, the man at the counter. Oh my fuck grow up. The function of humanity is to please me. You might not see it. When your fucking your wife. When it’s all going down. Right there in the corner.

Like little girly men with little girly pride.

No talking, How many people still alive today hate the rich. I mean it, how many people here today hate the rich because of what they’ve done to God. How many people here hate the rich because of what they’ve done to a loved one. How many people here hate the rich for what they’ve done to them. How many people just want them dead.

How many people know that it’s their governments that let it happen. How many people care about me more than their Governments. How many people don’t want that to happen to God anymore. How many people don’t want that to happen to loved ones anymore. How many people don’t want to happen to themselves anymore.

For the sake of sanity, Shut the fuck up rich people shut the fuck up. I’m going to need some time. I’m gong to take a minute. I’m going to be "Far from okay." I’m going to make it my personal revenge to have my "fun" with the new rich, the rich, the soon to be rich, and the dead to be rich.

You’ve been living in a dream world, "Neo,"

I Thin everybody in the world knows I’ve turned you down. Maybe I should turn that up a little louder. I fucken hate the Rich. I think they are knobs. And the people growing up today who wan to be rich are worst because they already know what they are like.

On lighter note, if you like great music and enjoy hanging out without giving a fuck about how it is all done. Then please feel free to hang.

Who?___________

What?__________

When?__________

Where?__________

Endlessly. These are the things that I am going to change. Now considering I’ve been telling the man to "fuck off" since about the age of "8". I’ll have to consider it a given that they "know" I won’t "sign up and give up on my Islamic brothers"

Oh Yeah.

My wife’s name is Why. You know like in "Why the fuck" I bothered creating this universe to begin with. That sort of thing.

What and Why hanging out together. I guess I did do something’s out of order.

Another thing that should happen early on in this book is, all the Gangs should get off my turf. Fancy Gangs included.

What up with day?

This might be my last chance, to come up with anything I’m real grumpy about. I’ll be eating different food soon. So here it goes. I hate….etc. I hate….. etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

Hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

I like never seeing or finding out about anything I hate. Leave that in the past.

Here’s my favorite way to live. What I do to get there is my business. Life should require only three miracles. Light, sound and size.

After that I should be using my miracles just for my amazing amusement and fuck those that would have it different.

Well as I exit this time in my life. You should know that I’m okay. Are you okay. You don’t look so good. What’s the matter. Do you want to rest. Is there anything I could do to help you. Are you in need of a bigger power than I could provide.

Please I’m so sorry, thre just isn’t room for you. If only I could change that. No I’m so sorry. You see we are too much alike and one of us must go. That one is you.

Well have to measure it to the micro second to see which one of you went first. If only I could find a way to tell. Maybe you found God along the way.

‘I’m real sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m real sorry I wasn’t everything you were hoping I would be.

See you latter. Loved the part about you being on a mission for God. How’d that go for you. Sorry it didn’t work out. You’ve increased the amount of your annoyance in disproportion to your value as a citizen.

Too bad all functions have changed. There really is no need for you to try any longer. Your value as a citizen has been demenoused.

Oh yeah we got to give a shout out to my hate of there recently not rich. I think I hate them more than the ones holding onto their money for them. There so old so bold. They are down right cold. I care about them. How when are they gone. Who’s going to get that day because of them. I Love the way they die. Right out in the open like that. Oh how they cling. Like God gave them a secret mission. They lost their mind. Maybe they thought their mockasins were mine. Maybe I should kill them right quick. Right slow. I’m sure I’ll do it a lot of ways.

When your helping me with all that. Be sure not to ZZZZZZZZWWWWWWWQQQQQQQQQLLLLLLLKKKKKKAAEEIIOOUU.

The man keeps telling me about "y" and "w". Must have been a myth of, "the man."

It’s Like an Insult "She’s" not more horney!

Well it's that time of year again.

What am I? That is interesting and I'm sure I'll get around to that in a latter chapter. But for now who are you? Well let me see there are all those people who disappeared ever so recently and let me say that all but one of them never really existed. I mean can a man.. or woman.

Nah let's just get started. I'm God I'm God I'm God.

I love it. Being God is a lot of things. It's like well it's like when you piss on that tree. Well your pissing on a peace of me. When you take a shit well. your flushing and sitting on a piece of me.

Well hey I take the shape and the form of my inventions very importantly.

The way I see it what went on was a bunch of people tried to stop other people from doing things. So I created a bunch of temporary people to do those things.

Now they were the who. They had lives and people tried to stop them and they went on and in the end I got what I wanted.

Funny isn't it.

Anyway So now that I'm what you guys are all in there being the who. Some of you are thinking hey I bet there are going to be temporary people this time. Maybe even thinking you can take advantage of them. Maybe turn a prophet.

Well yes it was brilliant. the alphabet.

Now this what he's weird chat you don't want to fuck with him. I mean he might turn you into a toad.

Really might happen.

But what am I? Who am I in love with?

I don't mean just your but fuckin ordinary wanting to cum on their face sort of casual sexual thing.

I mean who do I want to be with for the rest of my life. For all time.

Me of course. Like I was saying that tree your shitting on etc.

Like I was saying you are all inside of me. the whole thing. She is too. Like I'm going to be fucking a woman who is going to be inside of me while I'm with her.

I can guess why you might think the heart but no.

Inside of me it's all mixed like a big, I don't know it's like when a lot of people die and you see me on the bus and well there souls are restructuralizing inside of me. Just like you do when you turn a doorknob.

It's funny really everything that goes on on this planet heheh affects me. lets' say like in astrology there are all these real planets that represent the universe. Then there are these other planets that don't really exist as planets but they are planets because they are just as effective.

now you take those planets. The ones that exist and don't existed in astrology add the earth and you have what is inside of me.

The whole thing.

I'm about 5' 6" tall. My weight, how embarrassing has almost reached 300 and at the smallest adult size was about 160.

I like it around 180 pounds firm.

Oh yeah why do I love my self. Because the good people heaven and the bad people go to hell.

How far away is heaven?

Get it?

Remember I had that other book. The plan which when I was in heaven I would have a book that answer. who?___________

What?___________ When?__________ Where?_____________

and it was about the people in heaven. Like their cool stories and stuff.

Well what am I. Heaven is on earth last time I checked affected by all those things those other planets. Those inventions I make. Those thoughts I have. The feelings I express.

Those Thoughts

Now the stories I read in my Book. They have to all fit together. Like I said, "People are all having stories and they don't harm anybody else’s stories. Now when people do hurt the stories of others they hurt me. It's almost like everything is going good with your digestion, you get constipated and then finally you take a shit and the and I feel better.

It's like that when someone is going to hell. I'm like constipated and I have to have a crap. When I have my crap I feel better. And the weird part is... you do too.

Like you had this string and a cat was trying to eat it. And then the cat is gone away somewhere and your string magically repairs itself and the world is alright and your alright and you know she's alright because you didn't go to hell trying to find her.

What's my story like you might ask. Well I like most of you have had people a lot of people trying to take my story away. It's like they hate me. Hate me for sending them to hell.

They know it deep down inside they know it and the struggle and threatened to hurt and kill those that I love. But I wouldn't let them win. I would not I could not.

"I'm God," I say. God can't let no one stop his place in the plan.

Of course it sucks for those who have to deal those things that happened to the who .

I was thinking though. If this really is heaven shouldn't magical things occur.

I mean like dude I'm what hear. There is no way what is like who. I mean what can't be like who. If what was like who. What would cease to be what and become who.

You'll have to excuse my math.

Well shit it's all inside me. I mean like everything. Now for sure I don't get all constipated every time I have to deal with a shit head. But it happens sometimes it does.

I don't know what to make of that last sentence. Bar fight?

I think a picture would be nice.

Yes it is Chip break time.

Chip break time. All must cease. I want to eat my bag of chips and watch TV but I can't afford TV. I can't. So I'll sit and I'll watch the, well shit I'll probably leave the computer on and watch a movie. Or like a movie on something. Or half a movie and then come back.

Anyway there I was staring at my wallpaper when it occurred to me. What is this Book about for those "people" out there who follow their lives.

Well it sure ain't shaped like a cross.

But truth fully it's about the people "who attempt to get in my way to the where" Being fucked up by themselves not us while making asses of themselves and doing all the dirty work.

That's just what what is.

I don't know why what is what.

But what is definitely that.

Oh yeah what isn't going to be like what did they keep calling me "who?" "who?" "who?" over and over again. I've heard of some stupid people in my day, but to not know who.

I mean God man how could a person not know who God is?

In the what though they'll know what!!! Like where you good or bad today. That's what!

Did you have a good time at the mall today? That's what!

Did I forget to mention something that you thought was important?

That's what!

What will happen during what. Get real. Did you not understand the part about the pathetic people who did not understand who I was. It's very sad really. They are all inside of me. Being churned up to insert in hell.

I feel bad if you've had a loved one who died. I really do. But this is not the place where I'll talk about such things. I will though. It will probably be latter in this book.

What to invest in. Invest in everything getting cheaper. That's what!!!

Invest in prices going down or you'll die. That's what! Invest in us paying less for everything or you'll die. That's what! Invest in the lower cost of living. That's what!

On a lighter note.

I'm predicting rain, rain and more rain.

It's almost like in some countries it's like scorching hot and in other countries it's like raining all the time.

Of course with today’s climate you can't go by the weather. As I was saying in astrology. There are planets that are ruled that rule. Planets that don't exist that are ruled that rule. There is earth that ruled I stopped from ruling still ruled and now am switching ruling back into being as influential as the rest of the planets.

Like that astrology equation I mentioned earlier.

Really I didn't say anything different I just said the same thing.

Life what up with dat!?

AhhhH weather what is it that makes you so different when it's romantic. Why do some-days with the right woman you want to break yourself apart and spread yourself upon the air the ground everything around and embrace her with it.

And other days it just sucks rocks !!!

I must make another picture....

Well before we get to far I'd like to give a few shout outs. To Rap music. You haven't made it anywhere. If you can't afford to not have the shit played on the tele. Then really your taking a very long time. Punk Alternative Hard Core Metal Death Rock and of course Rock and Roll all seems to be able to hold there own in most Countries. Okay Death Metal is on a bit of a break. Aside form that. If Rap is that old what could it be.

Sure the hell wasn't the colour of our skin.

Another shout out to all those people out there trying and hoping to be my friend. I see it as almost the opposite as the Girl thing. With Girls I have to remind myself that I'm pretty Good looking And they might be after me for my looks. With friends you have to remind yourself that they might want to be your friend to get out of something. and those are split into two categories. Those you will probably end up helping and those that it's hard not to laugh at or disintegrate of the face of the earth for looking at me.

Then there are those that might want to be your friends, but they leave that mostly in your hands. Which they probably should. Oh yes sub-categories of those that want to be your friends and want help. Would they be my friends after the help. That is the question.

Friends with God. That's it though. Non of this Brian your a different guy. Your like the battery all that stuff. Just God hanging out. Of course I do like to help.

Help help help. I must have turned the help channel on. If the help channel was the bat signal you'd swear that most days the whole sky could be made black by all the little bats formed by it. "Not so much Fake help, these days," thank God.

To Those friends that gave me all the extra time to help others. Thanks. I appreciate your appreciating of the situation and your thoughts on the subject. Should you choose to speak without thinking. I'll appreciate that to.

I think I'm thinking of another time and place when I think about what I considered friends. As our walkman hug us and the pictures in front of us dance. Maybe you'll reflect on this world that you probably hate because of the people who do crappy things. Then think about toasters and T.V.S. or pick up a rock and throw it. Then you'll know my earlier tries at life and how auto mated they were. Without independent thought the world is a perfect place. There is another place were people don't do shitty things to each other. Earth. I know it seems crazy but. On earth people really don't have independent thought either. It only seems that way.

For instance, when your child runs at you to be picked up and hugged or carried over to someplace new. He's and or she is only doing this to please you. Sure you could slang that up to, make you happy, freak you out, have some fun. It's totally artificial.

Same with you saying hello. Take a person saying hi to me. As a what. This who will walk around a corner and say hi. They assume they are saying hi, to their concept of God. They are saying hi to me. I might be thinking about laundry. A volcano forming, in this time or another time. I might be trying to find a secret local to pick my nose. I like tissue, but I'm old enough to use them.

Now this person says hi because they want a reaction like a hello or a hi, to (please) their image of God. The person who is always prepared to listen. The person who always understands.

I try not to give a person like that a handshake or the finger. It's not always easy.

For their conception of what God is to be so different than reality. They Don't acknowledge my existence amongst their friends. If at least three people hang out together. All acknowledging the existence of God. They will get a much closer concept of what God is.

These people, Rarely catch me at inopportune times. Hardly ever throw me off balance. Truthfully their biggest problem seems to be thinking I want to be everybody’s close personal friend.

Nope sorry. I guess if I have God friends. God friends that in person I sort-a know cause I can keep my mind out-there. And then of course what we call close personal friends. One of course will be the wife.

Ahh that is funny what does a wife do to prove their love to a husband. Now your talking artificial thinking. There's the fact you want to physically stay together. There's the fact you want his love and want it bad. There's the kisses your hoping for there's the thoughts of what happens if this breaks down. The fears of starting over and it never being the same because it's with a different person.

All this going on. If you've ever been with one and they're spinning their head trying to figure which please to praise. Then you know what I'm talking about.

AI I love myself. It's the best fucken life ever. Every body pushing others buttons all making it better and better for each other. Including me. Until the sky is about to break open from the wwww?_________ and then is dissipated into a thousand branches and branches branches all pleasing me endlessly. Yeah I know I'm God. I know it so strongly that I had to laugh at the last few attempts to make me forget.

Silly really silly deedless doing their little deadly thing.

The Joke!

God walks into a bar. Everybody is talking about him. He walks over to the most attractive chick. Enough about me, let's talk about you.

Ha ha ha. Get it. God gets sick of people talking about him. Have you read a bible. Do you know what is going on. Do you know what time it is? ha ha ha I must be kidding.

Anyway in Montreal I could walk by any bar go to any coffee place, Dance my night away at any bar. Drunk right out of my skull if I wanted to. Never not once did anybody stop talking about me. Like music to my ears. Like the beautiful stars in the sky the mist in the air. The trees. The mountain. You name it.

Oh and of course most of the people there aren't single after about sixteen years and that's even back then.

Ahhh the place rocks. Lately it seems like they think they have such places. Now a days it's now bars. I can tell. Walk into a place and everybody shuts up. It's a now bar. They want your now. Your humming to yourself something to remind you of what you wanted to do with your day and someone will open up a now bar where you can go in and forget your life.

In real life there are other sorts of bars and places where things are always happening. I can walk into one of those places and something things are going on. It could be something from France in 1374. You don't know but it's fun. Now a days it all looks like some sort-a proof that living through the year before was stupid or something.

Ohhh and most of the buildings around here are built to take away from the beauty of my earth not to enhance it. To the point of emphasizing the crappy-iest things in Montreal actually.

Anyway since most of us living to day aren't aging and the who's that want to be what are going to be killing themselves amongst themselves. I just thought it would be fun to write a little about what. What am I what is God.

Yes in the who. I supposed we discovered that God can affect the weather. Make things disappear. Even bring a few things back and stuff like that. Yes a suppose I can make things move. It's sort of funny.

If that is all you discovered in the who then you are either a minor bunny, or really don't have any concept of God. It's really sad actually,,,

More about the city though. I know pathetically single people over the age of thirty. Cars that rust. Ice that makes you fall. Trees that make it look like they are going to make it all though summer and then the branch breaks off on it's own falling to the ground. On the brittle frozen paving. A paving so solid it makes ice look like clear paving and

paving look like black ice.

Ahh I can't stand it. The sun. The trees. The lake on the hill. That's about the same height as the Montreal mountain. It's a beautiful beautiful world.

Ohhhh excuse me I'm arguing with myself. But ass far as I can see the only side of this planet that has to change it's ways compared to the inside is the temperature. Aside from that I believe my concept of inside and outside will be pretty much enforced by five years into the age of Pisces. I'd say around 2006.

Perma-locking.

Basically I guess if you read and your trying to figure out that top sentence it means that the age of Pisces. The age of Pisces will have the inside and outside as close as they really ever are. Until the next age of Pisces. This age of Pisces should last until about half-way though that next one.

So there are the signs in a nut shell. You should see, when this earth fully kicks into the fact that the comfort level ain’t all about temperature. It's becoming just another place. Like all the planets that are real and are not real. While they feel they're up there ruling. The earth down here rules as well. Of course they all "rule" together. Basically I rule the earth all the other planets everything on them and the stars around. The whole fucking thing. The stars are a different form of time. Like the measurement of days months years. So yeah if I can just get the earth over the hump and land it like, "It is One of the other planets." Equal. Not Better or worst. Or stronger or weaker. Just different. Ohhhh guess fuck is she fun to rule. If you could picture driving your favorite favorite fucking, "no one gets their favorite fucking car" fucking poster on a wall automobile. That's what it's like ruling the fucking things. Your cruising in a no-speed limit 100 M.P.H. with no one else on the high way and it, "this is were I separate from you" goes on forever.

All I have to do now is pick up a hitch hiker on the side of the road. Without slowing down. Say high honey, "Have her convince me that she is my one." Keep, my speed constant and maybe someday do the same thing to put a kid in the back. "I hope it's a boy!"

Of course on a certain planet I'm actually living this life. making sure everything is okay.

Ohhh yeah if your really into astrology then you might want to know that the earth is wear the AI is the most kicking.

You know it's funny I was thinking to myself. Weather or not the image portrayed in the bible is a stereo type. About a God who really wants people to understand him. It depends what you mean by stereotype. Most people, back in the day, thought the expression meant something that the sound of doesn't change. The definition for almost any word is a craze. The only exception to this is the word good.

Now if I was to tell you that a person might think the stereo type for God is that I react the same way when different people do the same thing. I'd have to say only when good is done.

So telling a person that has done some Seriously wrong that they can do a few good things and everything will be okay, or the same as a person who has tried to do good things (and succeeded a few times) all their life is stupid.

So if you buy a kid a bag of chips don't expect your whole life to change over night. There are people who have been paying for cheaper chips they're whole life. They're life was probably a little better because of it. Then they decided to raise they're prices just to see if like you know they were connected. The slightly better life and the price of chips. They died. It's a fact of life. Making my life any worst will kill you. Heaven.

Makes Me Think Of The Wife.

I wonder if my image of head spinning true love making kick the wall before I'd leave him is true. Then I should have nothing to worry about , I mean that's cool. It's Going to get more and more powerful though. Those moments of putting up with you because your an attempted-friender or something is going out the window.

They're is no buying your way out of it. We are going to heaven. We're pissing me off is ridiculous and people getting away with stuff is the most impossible stupidest thing that a person has ever thought of. What the planet is getting used to if I might refer back to my previous chapter. Is my ruling it. You see to this planet I eighties expression, "rule". So strongly that I can't seem to get it to perm-know that I rule.

If it was to flip that expression from the "rule" in the eighties to the rule. Then I might come up with the ability to have a wife and or kids. Because believe it or not computer. She's going to "rule!" One way or another and if the planet isn't through with me "ruling!!!" by then. I really don't know what to do with it.

Of course if it's just the planet earth that is stuck with a "rule" complex. Then the other planets should be enough in a universe plus planet "rule" continuum. Of course should the planet release that to most everything I do "rule" then it should see this newness as rule-x-rule. Or super rule. or he's ruling. What a ruler. ,"I've never had better." Super rule. The ruling one. The guy up there who rules. "I've never ruled like that guy." What a ruler. I want to get a ruler to see if I can measure the amount of rule being used to rule me while we're ruling in the rule.

Rocken rollen rule. Ivan rule. Batov-in Rule. Mostartian Rule. There is so much going one and being rued and ruling and the temperature is going to transition into a new rule where it's more obvious you rule, of course by then it will be "ruling" to those that are now "ruled"

Wanking To Jesus

First off let me tell you. I love it. I flip-freaken flipen-fucken love it. Unless your ugly. When a person is ugly I think it is the most insulting thing in the world for a person to wank off to me. I don't know why they would. I'm sure not going to wank back. I mean fuck. Bad-hair day etc. Yeah sure. But fucken ugly. I said beauty is a gift. Women think a lot of handsome men and masculine men and rugged men.

So looks must be important. The super wank. The up-tight couple wank. The, "I don't know what your talking about?" wank. Super-terrific-happy hour super-wank.

It's the wankiest. It's almost like sex. If that twenty minutes. Heh heh heh could be stretched out to encapsulate how much I love romance, you would start to get me. Rock and Roll. Don't get me started on Rock and rollen.

I just might make some rock and roll myself some day that's what I might do.

I'll get a typewriter and I'll start writing and I'll never stop. I'll be the super wanker. The mano-wank. "The God who wanked his life away?" Get with it.

The question remains what do the Girls think of the super wank. They might do it just because their friends think they are cool when they do. I mean that might be the only reason. They might... no they like me. They really like me. Humma they seem to like me when I'm naked like I'm fucking them but not so much when I'm out there with my clothes on.

I think it's my voice. They must think I rule the earth with my voice and when I use it to talk to them I'm.. Well I just don't know. They are single at least some. Some are probably secretly going out. I did mention that my friends in relationships should probably, not hang out with me in person too much. I might see the look in their eyes when they stare at me like, what could you offer me that this man can't.

In a good mood this is okay. When I really laughing at something though or when I'm really angry at something that is going on in the world. Might be past present or, future. Hint Hint. I might look at here and go I can I can offer you blah blah bah. Into their mind it sinks and then they stare at me after they've left their man and I laugh. laugh my fucken head off. Like I would fall in love with someone who would leave someone that made them feel that way. Being in love. There are no limits. Being with a person who has left their one true love. Waste of time. Why bother. Of course along comes the right person someday and you don't care who they've been with.

What really I never understand is the people who think they are with the right person. Then they think that they wont understand the pain they've been through. They wont tell them the hurts and aches they've had. Like is it the right person. Did you not tell me and everything that is holy that the person your talking about is the right person. Yes dude, dude-ets it's going to hurt, but you want it to stop right? I mean like you do want no one else to go through that, right? It happens bye telling. you tell them what you went through, Time will still heal their wounds. Like who the fuck would give a fuck and who wouldn't, isn't going to end you up with the right person. (Funny though it's the people who care and scream and kick about the about the small things that make the best lovers.) Where were going anybody would care. They'd all care, but who the fuck can take it; that is the question.

Where Will We Be When What Is Ending And Becoming Where.

Well, I'm sorry there is a big truth there. I'm who, what, where, when, and where around the home. Then new things are added and the when and the where change slightly and then the you who are slightly different. The what is constant. The what can not be different. All the stalling and fighting and stupidness of the last century, let's say. Ended up with about a 4.2 second delay in the time it took me to complete my quest to know who I was. Finding out what is going to be something.

People might be wondering. How could you not know what? They might be thinking I've seen some freaky shit man, but when it comes to you... Never have I seen such a freaky thing. True, being freaky is me. As we go on you'll probably find that I'm freakier and freakier than you. A real droid.

What contains personality as well though. What contains more than just what I've done. What is what I am. To Humanity God is the universe the stars, all that we're in, what we've come from and what we become.

Yes, that is something I've made. It's not necessarily what I am. The totality of me, is far beyond what has been this universe for so very long. What contains, some of me far before life. What contains some of me far after life. What flows though life and truly touches very little of what this life containing Universe is.

For you who though, What is very important. Just like my journey to discover who. You too are on a journey to discover who you are. When you discover who you are off and on, until finally you know who you. I hope it is as much fun.

My life on the discovery to who has been the greatest. Not once has anybody who has appreciate my gift ever treated me wrong or caused me any grief or disrespect. Never not once. On the other side against life. I can calmly say that they tried and did not win. Pathetic creatures that would try at nothing to make me feel angry and hate my friends.

You take what I just said up there about trying to find out who you are while I discover what. That's what your life going to be a bit what. You want to get along with people a little bit better, try de-age-afing yourself.

There your going to be though, I hate to make you paranoid. Finding out who you are. Other people want to know who. People from good families. They have a daughter, your someones’ son. Maybe so far you haven't done too much, like your parents are too tight. So it might not just be me what, whom wants to know if your a person who is trying to get to where. Remember where for you; Why and How for me. Another truth that you might find interesting... is that if me taking an interest in your life seems exciting and more strengthening than an average day. When the right person starts thinking of you, you probably think that's it's me, God almighty thinking strange desirous thoughts about you. It'll be them though. The person of your dreams. She'll have finally connected the dots, or she'll be astro-wanking and the mind will drift into the right person, maybe from behind a guy at the counter or something and then wham-mo. It's not just you you care about, it's them too, you want more.

Like I care about this universe. That's the feeling it can be. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the first time. The interest though. Romance entanglement. The biggest of the bigs for most people.

The Job

The Job my Job, what are you going to do?

What baby, what are you? I mean it man what are you? What did you do what did you do while God was finding himself. Is it a mission from God? Did you fall into a TV reality. Or did you just click that on when you where tired. Is it your life or are you your own past time. When did becoming yourself become your own past time.

What Did I Do While Finding Out What Was You?

My first thought this mourning. While I wonder for those that wonder if God is sleepy in the morning. Is How many people had to know who was in order for me to know who. A shame really to those that had to be told who I was. a person might have thought very bad of God. Then someone comes along and tells them it's me. Very Bad.

The weather, how's the weather going to be. I'd hate to live in a place where the tourist are more important than the rest of the population. How stupid can a country or town be. Year after year treating your citizens as being not as important as these visitors who come. Really most places that indorse such activity also require their citizens to treat the people better than they would their own family. It's sick. The only reason I could see to travel that way is to visit relatives that a person hasn't seen in a long time.

If you've ever been in a city that's hosted one of those big tourist events you can see it every where. The trees are sick from all the metal in the air. The super structures. Half their low end population looks like they've been fucked by the "new" richy rich. The upper end looks like they caught A.I.D.S.

Economically their screwed. Don't believe me visit Sydney in a few years. They spend so much trying to cover it up. City to city. Town to town. That in the end, their really only making it worst. N.A.S. that's going to be worst. Faster perhaps, might take a little less time, but hey hey. They had to have it their way. In their minds there is no way that God is right. Can not be, will not be, They can not except the program.

Stupid people living out stupid lives. Life goes on. Those that admit life is hard, go on and have great lives. Ever been to one of the cities of talked about. Seen them at the cafes. Hanging their asses right out into the street. That's not what I'm talking about. Real life, real fun, real enjoyment. Being their long enough watching them die. There's the party. Like around here. One building after another. More and more people. Like watching a enlarged meat grinder carrying your troubles away.

It's a good time. Gee's now that you think about it, while most cities are probably going gee gosh it's back to the eighties, yea hah !!! We can definitely say. Thank fuck. Thank fuck it ain't the eighties. I can imagine what that must have been like. Your not God. You've got to make the connections. Someone bumped into someone or something then they're carted off. Over and over again. The religious freaks are making out okay, but not as good as you would think.

Etc.

At least where we are we're happy it's 2003. I mean shit. Have you been to if one more person says, "just like the eighties." or "the eighties are coming back." Don't you want them to die!!! I do I want them to die right away. That's the problem I've got to cool down I've got to let them die naturally. Real disease, real instant, real pain and injury.

Oh, I'll let you know someday how I found this free time. Anyway back to the N.A.S. This is funny I know... There are more miracles going on than ever before. The greatest, but these are the freakiest. Is this a miracle. Sure eventually. There is a movie out with the disease N.A.S. in it. Then I'm watching the lasted "they suck I'm the real deal..." on the Tele. For something to do they put on a band called you guessed it, "NAS".

The bands like. I feel a vibe, do you feel a vibe. I'm freaken, I mean freaken. No I don't run around and stuff. I don't have enough money. Latter like the next day, I'm at the mall. Sure enough I look under Rap/R&B and there it is NAS. Not just one album or two albums but about four. Fucken rocken

I don't have the time or the money to get into a new band right now. That's great. I'll by them latter, when they are done making albums.

Anyway I thought it was fun.

Lousy Music.

What up with Dat? Anyway I just thought I’d tell you the one about the musicians that sucked. There’re weren’t any and it was all fine and Good. Then we were thinking though. Why not have musicians that sucked and everything. It’d be cool we could make fun of them and stuff and then when their women come onto us we could scream because you call that a come on. I’m dying hear. I’m wondering if your psychologically damaged or something. What do you do next all get together naked and stare at each others backs.

Fuck. Your lucky to have you looks when you do, you could end up with no one with you ever. The cloths coming off was enough for me. You see that lack of soul there. I was there the dream the she’s right hot the beauty the whole fucken thing. The choice in men should have been my first clue.

Sex-droid twelve reporting. Last scene in trolling for dollars. "I wonder, could she have A.I.D.S. yet." Sheesh A.I.D.S. she’s lucky if the whole on the inside of her crotch don’t attract strange unknown things from the corner of my mind.

Then again could be verbal abuse.

Ahhhh death it seems everybody wants me to talk about death. All right death everybody dies goes onto the after-life. Those that don’t end up in hell purgatory or other strange neurotic places of my mind go to eternity. We’re there really are only a few people who might totally fuck up and think they are permanent. Those and those that follow them will go to the after-life. To be sent to hell purgatory or any other strange place I can think to send them on their way.

I know that might not be the big death talk we’re talking about. I hope to get to that latter. I really do. You’ll find I’m really just discovering what that is all about. Sure I know a bit about the who of it. That’s right upstairs there where I just wrote.

But the what the what is coming and it seems to me that they want the what right there the whole fucking thing right near the beginning so I’ll be tired and week near the end. That might happen you never know. It’s possible too that that I might enjoy a rerun or two that I might enjoy hearing the same song again. That I might want to enjoy the same parting the same separation. The joy of the universe being better either way. The joy of the universe being way (the-fuck) better either way not so much of that these days. Same old same old. Never a dull moment. That sort of thing.

Like that big pinball scene in the sky. I’m know what I am. You might fight you might try not to know who you are. Fight too hard though and I’m going to kill you. The thought, "Death does the killing." That’s what. I could eat that with a worm. No, death is change same as always. The earth always changes. When the leaves fall in fall. When the river reaches the sea. Bugs in winter fruits in fall. Everywhere and everything that person used to do, say hello to, kiss hello and good-bye. Are all changed. Things that a person moves around a house. The air they breath. The candles they lit. The place where they bought their pizza from.

All different from one persons death. Now if you want to know what my life is like. Many people die all over the world. Different numbers in different cities all affecting everything that goes on. Those stories of all the lives all the thoughts all the money all the air they breathed changed.

Those are stories of those that are left changed fitting into other stories a little bit different than they did the day the hour the minute the moment before.

Never the same never to be swept under the rug. From the evilest fuck fuck; my personal Satan. To the friendliest super mom. Their lives have affected and changed those lives of the people they touched. It’s all caught up in the what we do.

You think your such a great delivery person you bring food to the little old ladies in a building maybe one of them is great. You’re the super greatest pizza delivery guy ever. Nothing could go wrong. Then all of a sudden she dies. Your now the guy who takes money to the misers up on the 6^th floor. You’re a shit.

Remember the shits up there earlier in the story the ones who go to hell. That’s what you are. Your life is based on what other people do. Your depending on the beautiful girl to always be there for you. Your just a peace in someone else cog. Living a life where the worst ting on earth is getting in an accident. Unable to face the reality that your life is stuck in AI created buy another man or me?

Because that nice women in that building or those students that need there floors waxed have to have work done. It’s not required that you go to hell. In reality though. You might want to keep in mind that real people have lived real lives. Your life of depending on who you help and when you help them is stupid. When you die you’re going to hell. Truthfully it’s nobodies business but mine who goes to hell or not.

Ohhh little worker man. That’s great we hope you do. We hope you work real hard. Remember though "hard work never got anybody anywhere," do you know what that means. It means that you can work hard all you’re life, good job and everything, and still go to hell.

Going on to eternity, or staying eternal really. Is based more on who you help. Now your not aloud to look at anybody’s soul or anything like that. Getting paid to help people though it’s a great job it’s great work. No though it do not affect who’s going to hell or not. You see I make those decisions and while your clinging to your job of the helper bee. I’ll laugh my ass off should you die. I’ll think it was the biggest joke in the fucking world.

How’s that I’m new at this….

Heh heh heh.

I Thought You Meant Death

You meant what’s it like to kill. Well I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you. I mean it’s kind-a like on of those fight things. Like if you want to get into a fight. The best thing to do is find someone else who is looking for a fight. Then you two and or four or three fight and if no one gets killed it’s called a fight.

Killings different. In the situation above you could call that killing which it is in a court of law. As far as weather or not it is to kill though no it is not the same as killing. Me killing different. As, I also do the judging. Anybody or people I would have to kill are at a huge disadvantage. I can just skip the killing and go about with the judging. Judging is easy. Ohhhh did you live a good life. Did you save all your fuck ups till the very end. That’s too bad I really feel for you. Decided to bug a friend or bug a brother. No sorry I got this place though it’s hot. You’d like it. It’s the bomb!!! Ohhh you might have to relive the same mistake over and over again though. No sorry that’s the best I can do. It’s that easy.

Shit half you people never did too much anyway.

Got to shut it down I hear the bathroom calling.

Music.

I was just at a record shop and we were talking about music. Ahhh what a relief. We talked about punk-rock music. Not my favorite. I’m playing some right now. Fun though. How with enough movement, enough interest is generated and that interest can become enough to get some financial mojo going.

Once you got some mojo going then your really "in trouble". Then you have a chance to get out-a dodge. Get out-a dodge is an old expression. It means like in those old wild west movies. You know your life is pretty much heading towards a bullet in the head or an untimely death of one kind or other. Then when you get your mojo going there is a chance for one or two or a few of you to actually do something with your life.

Rare, but sometimes it happens.

Music though, sometimes it does happen though, like right now there are a few people trying to get something going on in "the scene." The scene is another expression, you might find out what that means if you live long enough.

Anyway, one of these groups is like the closed group. You’ve all seen it. You can only go to their shows only their music are you supposed to listen too etc.

In the other camp(s) as far as I can tell you have a choice. You can go to their shows, The other peoples shows. So far that’s it though. "The scene", around here is stuck in a two or three choice sinerio

Maybe it’s the different night thing. Like you take this night and we’ll take this night and eventually there is something to do every night. One thing one choice each night. Just like when they were kids. Mom and dad telling them what they could do each night. Those are the choices.

My goal and I can guess, hint hint, that the goal of a lot of people is not to live the same life they had as a child.

It’s dull, boring and really cuts down on anything magical happening around here.

In my world there are at least three great things to do on any night for anybody. Some nights have multiple options.

One quick Canadian note. If your on the east coast and your wondering if there is a great scene out here to get into. No there isn’t it’s the same old sad we take mob money and complain about the lame turn out and "turn off" after the show.

On a lighter note there may be a few men who are sick of all the shit. Who might decide to travel in there journey to find who.

I hear you over there on the coast. You gorgeous women. Begging for it. Let me tell you the truth though. If my women wasn’t here I would have moved there long ago.

Ohhh yeah one last note from the men out here. Don’t fall for "slow mo mocam and the boys" as Saint Johner’s, Saint Johner’s they ain’t.

Why I Seem Not To See Romance

I don’t seem to see romance because I’m the type of guy who sees the romance when I’m with the chick. You know when I think about it. I see the romance every time I’ve ever really thought about her. Being with the same woman for ever and ever. Like man to you that might sound bad or ruff, but to me that is the balls to the wall the be all end all, and what it is all about.

I mean fuck, If your like me you’ve wondered the pre-universe for ever always searching for something permanent. Pre-matter. Pre-thought really but something something that you can cling onto when it’s all falling down. Something you can hold onto when it’s good or ruff. A person you can hold up when when things are great there right there it’s all permanent it’s not going to change. Love. Ideas concepts. Pre-eminent thought. Always been there always will.

These concepts thoughts are older than the universe. Love hope dream desire. Ever heard of the concept of hope. Well those that think it’s there private little word for hell are going to have real troubles real problems. I mean it man. I’m sick of the under-ground sick of all there wining about being the same shit in a different pile. No they are not. The only problem with the people with badges or rights to kill is that they think it gives them a free ride.

The other side the other side has no badges is fighting to get wasted and looks at their kids like there some sort of feed for their local hit-man to warm up on before they get to the big one.

Concepts Before Time.

Yes well this is the book of what, so I’ll have to get into the before the thought of man others life things of a God but not God.

I’ll have to get into that a little or it wouldn’t be much of a what now would it. Before there was you there was plenty for one thing let me tell you. I’ve taken baths more interesting than my entire life. The ideas I was sort-a hoping to get into though were those of love thoughts desires. What’s the big Cahuna to me. The big cahuna to me it like an entire world might be interesting in like a few years you know every body who made it. Everybody I’d care to see. And I run the whole thing.

Before time there where concepts like spheres. "let’s make planets," that sort of thing. "cubes, what’s a cube?" sugar. That sort of thing. What will we hold it up with? "space" that sort of thing.

Just me, me all alone. The worst life ever; it was not. Quite a bit of fun actually. A ball. A party. Of course you mother (grandmother) might not have been there. She might not have meant much to me, but what does she mean to you. Eh? That’s the fucken question. Did she raise you to spit on Christ at the mall. You would think so. The way some of them act. Don’t let the new Mob rule you or your thoughts, give them as little time as possible. Do not concern yourself with them.

If there is a new school, a no school and an old school, which there is, then they are dead school.

How to live, how to survive, how to enjoy life versus how t kill yourself. Humma I wonder who is going to win. I mean it’s like right complicated.

The simplicity of the fool.

It’s cool though, I dig Jesus. Because he makes the chicky poohs come around. I mean who the fuck are these people. Are we to believe they will obtain lives. Was it something cool to say in front of the parents, or was it a way to rip you off at the mall.

Really anybody. Anybody here ever hang out with some rich parent dicks and not get ripped off. Anyone, I mean did you get a free book after the parents invested in the album or movie you like before it was released.

Remember when it all comes down there entire life as cards they’re going to want to blame it on you. It’s going to come down to them blaming you or God. God is a person too he has enough shit on his hands for any person to handle.

So there is will be blame God for something you do. Or take responsibility for your actions.

My being responsible is not laughing too hard at them as they all caught A.I.D.S. and died.

Ahhhh cadets that’s were the real fun was.

Excuse me I just had a space cadet moment. Like us yesterday. When I like most people drifted into a world we’re it was like everybody listened. Now I know you people make fun of me for not carry about shows and stuff like that like you want me too.

I care I care about having something to talk about. Like if you blind or deaf or you know or care about someone who is or does. Then you should give them a call or help them out. This is way beyond the normal shit. They got cheesy motherfuckers trying to get them to deliver their cheesy mother-fucker shit. They most have lost their main dealers somewhere. They’re looking for some people with no eyes, no ears, and truthfully with a fine sense of smell.

I mean what was it man the K.G.B. what took them out. Was it you was it me? You think they know, you think they’d believe. Nah not me. Never try to make sense with a person who is trying to be a potato. They’re not very good at it. But they try really hard.

Time before matter.

That’s how I guess. Nothing more. What is more about what I can do, what I’m really like. Is he really up tight. Private person. Am I shy. Verily complicated. It, verily, means, sometimes I’m complicated and sometimes I’m the most easiest person to get along with. Verily like if math went from 3 to 7 then there was an x and x could equal from 3 to 7 then that would be a very verily x. an x that went from 3 to 6. Well you get me. You do the math.

It’s that simple. Life is that simple. I must go one. Shy no complicated. Fuck yes. Actually if you look at physics all alone, I guess you could tell that I’m very extremely complicated. Then someone will come along and solve a big one and hey it’s still calculus to some people but to many I’m less complicated.

The physics of electricity moving through something very small. Compute. He he. I care I really care I really do. I hear your sad. I hear your lonely. I know you care. For something like that to change takes time though. People aren’t robots there not machines. You want real change non of that fake shit. Then you got to wait, cause there are people out there just like you. Waiting hoping dreaming to meet someone like you.

Time what is time when you have all the time in the world to time. Could it be another way to get with me. That’s what it’s all about. What’s with the differences with the different sides of me. They aren’t in conflict. Some people like some parts of me more than others and that is what I’m all about.

I’m the friendly guy. The last time I check there was only one person on this earth I came into it wanted to screw. I changed that they sold out. Onto the bigger better life. Esperanto, I’m all done. Would I go back to someone who sold out. Fuck no!!! They’ll do it again it worked out so good the first time.

Remember if all they have left is you taking them back to complete their version of the perfect life. Then they’ve probably done stuff that no cow would forgive and they sure the hell didn’t put you on the top of their list. So could it possibly be that some mad ass woman has separated you from her in order to get with her.

Mad ass, mad ass mad ass.

Hahhah hahhh hahhha hha. The hardest thing old school freaks have to do is not laugh in their face. And if you have a badge, not a fake one, you really don’t even have to do that.

Nature

So far in my life I love nature more than any man or woman I’ve ever met. To the point of structures made out of natural substances. I don’t have to say I don’t know what it is. I know what some of it is. Some of it is the being alone thing. Many people might say that God is all alone when he is all alone. No actually sometimes I’m so never alone it would freak some "young" people out.

Being alone in nature though is the biggest. There is a people who understand me. Peace. Real peace non of that fake ass shit. Real peace is like the summer morning when you see the rabbit on the way to being killed. You know he’s done something wrong. His clan has forsaken him. He no longer exists to them almost to his or hers very mother. Off he goes to destroy the morning calm. The killing of him might take till late in the afternoon. He’ll go though, and the woods will go on. It’s peaceful in the morning. No one wants to here from the humans. I’m a freak. How did you know I was God. How do they know. Like I said I’m the freak.

I get to experience the, "You really are you." It’s not just fake. The real deal. Fun Bri. Interstellar-Bri. Right there in the woods. Fun!?? You ain’t seen fun, if the woods outside of a nuclear power plant can remember me, What’s your excuse.

Like if you had a long lost friend and you hadn’t seen them in a long time. Especially if you met them when you where an adult. They show up and guess what. They’re the same. A little bigger that summer. A little more pumped up. There though, the personality they fell in love with.

That’s the way it works the whole fucking thing, my mind. I build things and if they love me they are a "keeper". Like the forest the trees. Even annoying little bugs.

Love is a two way street for most of you. All of you really. But me, that’s what. I build things, some that move and shake. And if they fall in love with me. I keep them They’re keepers, should they pass away or fall away, I’ll find them. There is no other way.

Here’s a glimpse at my personality, for younger people out there. Not once have I met a bad, I use the word bad, person who loved me. I’ve seen a few rotten fruit on a bad day. But never never has a bad person ever loved me. It would go against they’re very nature.

Fake it in public. Make others think they feel that way. That shits as old or older than the house I’m living in.

I mean I’ve seen people command whole armies to their very rotten death, all based on them, that man convincing them that I loved him. That I reached down from heaven and loved him. No I’m some sort-a weird-o… freak. Humanity just like the woods. That’s the world we are heading too.

If you’ve ever been there ever hunted ever tried to grab the wrong fish. I can tell you it’s a scary experience. They no like. To go in there and try to take wom-enthing out that doesn’t want to be taken out. Not good ain’t going to happen. Just like in the real world. It gets worst and worst. Don’t try and learn about evil. It wont help you and it sure the _______ wont help me.

Ever seen dear cross the road when you have time to drive slow. To really pause the car and see them lead their young across the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that care out of a human being. Not once so far in my life.

Maybe it comes from licking each others arses. Who knew. A sense of humor too. They like it tough. They live in packs. They care about each other. Failure is failure. Just like in the real world.

Ahh Real Life

I’ve made a decision that affects a whole lot of countries. The three closest countries will now behave as if I said now right away, must change to say. There’s probably about forty offices world wide going, Great, excellent. Something to do with the day. But no we have to listen to traitor. The liar of faith. He'’ wicked ways, because of this because of that. No Dude real God real personality.

You ever notice how many people walk up to me like they have my time clock or like they talk to me like I’m their wife, or worst husband, or just don’t know how to behave. God dude. That’s right no bouncing it off the TV, no other excuses or things. Just God. You talk to him/them like they’re God. If your having your holy day please avoid me. I’m a very holy person but You’d be a where. Because technically I could be having a holy minute too. Might be healing the sick in a foreign country or something like that.

You never know what a mind like mine is up too. You never do. I might be dreaming about how. Bob and betty get themselves out of the double death trap or I might be thinking. No shit that’s like asking a guy to walk a mile on a tight-rope. I’ll come up with something different. Shit if your escape someone else with the woman you love then I better have Them all covered eh!? All the possibilities. One chance what are we supposed to do, wear tights.

The Elaborate Cover

I have no cover. I’m what you call a spy or an agent. The smartest thing I’ve ever seen a country do. Make me not an Israelite. "King of Israel" coming though" Yes in most countries I’m God and that’s it. It’s fun, if you haven’t clued in yet. I love being God. Kindness I love people who are kind. Kind and love me, you’re a keeper. Now as I was saying. I have a real job in my country and that my friend is smart. Excellent couldn’t be brighter. I’m also God here. Being God’s been my secret identity so long it’s almost as much fun blowing that cover as it is being God. Now most counties get the God and that’s good that great.

Kind each and every day. Sometimes being kind is staying home and making the suffer. So that is that the rest of the world is pretty much stuck with me being God. If I see your country it will be as a person on vacation and I better be treated that way. God, down, and on with the beauty that makes your country great.

Why is your country great. What makes it not the country beside it. Why is your country the greatest. What makes a Canadian drewl on a bad day and go yeah we got the sun on a Good day.

I’m in heaven!!? Well shit the last time I checked you were in heaven too. Sorry it couldn’t be perfect, sorry it’s not everything you’d hoped it be. Of course I’m not finished. I’ve got thoughts about things. People who ascended. How are they going to get a S.I.N. were do they find employment. We’ve got real problems, real life. Real things going on.

I mean shit you think it’s all over and we’re done and we pack it up and go home. I know your used to taking the lose. Used to me being kidnapped. Beat on shipped somewhere and returned in a paper back.

All those passes cards and rules. Great shit. But where is the average citizen in such a world. Illegal citizen ship. That’s what it looks like. I mean some serious fucken workers here. Real people who’ll love real rules. All that’s great.

In case the world hasn’t noticed. It’s the year 2003 A.D. here and well you need to realize that I think it’s great that your clean up after world war two. Mean while though even in kidnappedtivaty I’m moving on going forward. Real life must continue. Who’s waiting for them. The people who break the rules. Shit they can get you a job a roof over your head in no time.

We’ll wait. I know I’d wait. Of course will I wait forever. No. That’d be stupid. Will I wait a week a month a year. What will go on in that time. Are the people who look after those things going to be so busy looking at their TV or out their window to do their work. Shit man there’s no need for new departs and special services for that stuff. Real persons in real jobs going. Yeah I can handle this but I need more.

You start from the top like in any company and you work your way down. Till the lowest person at that office knows what’s going on. What’s going down.

Real life real miracles. The hardest part the average citizen has around here is realizing that if they haven’t seen a miracle in a week; they still have to know what miracles can take place. Magic nature call it a butt wipe if you have to.

In this city sometimes the hardest thing is to realize that miracles other than people disappearing do exist. Might seem strange. Might be the bizarrest thing you’ve ever seen. Maybe even the smile of the right girl on an otherwise lost to "the man" day.

What Is God?

What am I. Let me see. I’m a person place and thing. I move so I guess I’m a verb too. Do I do things While I move yes. So I guess I’m an adverb. Do I change my mind about things. Yes I guess I do that too. Even about what happened if you look it that way. So I guess I’m a conjugating as well.

People know of me they follow who I am. So I guess I guess I’ve got personal pronouns as well. Interesting isn’t it. Is there anything left really. I’m all those things and yet there were people who would try to find the thing I can’t do and fit that into their life. Gee’s there really isn’t that much time left for them.

Even with the day Job, I have more rights than anybody else in this city. Include the God factor in that and I guess your pretty fucked. Not much I can’t do. You might ask if God can do so many of those things, how come I can’t… fly or something? Well just because I can do something doesn’t mean you can do it. That would be silly. I’d never try and do something like that. Would I. Nah that’d bee silly. Like if I made a world once were everybody was equal. Then in time even in that world I’d start to stand out. I’d become slightly more powerful and different. Almost as if what I was was what I was and no matter what I did it wasn’t going to change that.

Funny really. There’ve been three of those other worlds. They all failed. The goal or idea of being just another human being is unknown to me. Stupid, no! Not stupid just a being out there in space trying to make friends. Make friends sounds kind-a strange when you think about it. But yes I’ve tried it. And some of the stuff we enjoy here is a result of it. What is a light bulb if you were the only person in the world if not a friend. What are toys to a child, friends? Mostly for me at least. Not because I don’t have any friends, but because that is what life was like for a while. (for me.) me and the other light bulbs hanging around trying to be each others friends. I know sounds dumb sounds stupid. But hey it worked. We had a good time.

A car, a way to get from point a to b. What is that if not a combination of friends. How are the light bulbs and the machines getting along. Probably not that well. They weren’t designed for you. They were designed for us all hanging out.

We used to be metal. We were all bond together and we moved and changed shape and became different shapes. But of course though in time. There were no sections or pieces. Let’s say an area grew different than the rest and well it wasn’t good because that metal wasn’t designed to have any differences. When the differences showed up it went against the master designer. The master designer was inside the metal and there wasn’t time from the master designer to inform them that I was the master designer. So it fucked up. Ate it self you name it. "Not Good"

Then there was adventure. I made myself so different that I would stand out in a crowd of anybody on any planet. How’d that work out. Not as bad actually. I could get laid to save a heep. Sex wasn’t invented. We just basically went around killing each other. Good times. Of course eventually it had to end. In a concept that was based entirely on, to kill, well can you imagine. I was pretty good. I knew what I was doing? Doubtful. One slice of my blade and whole army disappeared. So then it was off to see a king I should have said the king. Anyway he wanted to learn how his troops (they called them men), back then. Could do the same. I knew I was God, but I knew it would never be the same. So what did I do I refuse to tell any body. I waited till me and my friend were all alone and I told him. It killed him. End of program. I had forgotten or couldn’t remember, because of the pressure, of the king what the kill switch was. So nope that was it telling them I was God was the kill switch and I told my friend and he died. All hell broke loose. And I was far enough away that I died a merciful death.

I guess I won. I guess I did come up with the concept of friend. I knew what it was and I went packing. I mean some serious kick ass planning. This world might have been built in seven days. Check out light, hint hint. But the planning. That’s what all this waiting for things like flying, well I don’t know if you’ll fly. That’s what’s taking so long for stuff like that though. I know it seems like a long time to some and to others,,, no it’s a long time. Well that’s the thought though. A lot of planning. A lot of knowing were I’m going to be. A lot of people might have tried to stop me. But that wont happen. For one thing the time reset takes about 1.3 seconds so you can imagine how long it really takes me to be able to do all this with a couple of sticks and a pair of tweezers.

Remember I didn’t give up on the "bulbs" I didn’t give up on metal. The adventures though. I’d have to say that’s were friends were created. Of course since the creation of sex, romance, and rock and roll. Everything should be all right.

Language. Did I say adventure. I meant to say language.

Heh, heh silly me. I hope that didn’t start any fights.

I’m caught In A Mystery

Well I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I put the first part of this book up there on the web. It seems like a lot of people think I’m done. Sad really I’d only just begun to talk about my self. You see though I’m caught in a mystery. Many babies are being conceived. Many thoughts are being consumed.

What else can I say. One God for ever and ever. Not yet. "I ain’t all there." I’m just past who on my way though what. I think I might have a personality split. Maybe I could get myself to listen to Lizard. Ripped in half. It’s, "to me" a song about when you racing, trying to get a lot of things done. The all of a sudden you hit upon a choice that has two choices and you feel about 50% towards either way.

Funny really. If you ever get there sober it’s quite sombering. I had one once were I paused for many a moment. Time minutes. Drifting by. I could have easily thought of many thoughts or possibilities. The thoughts though just kept going over and over though. I chose to look at them that way. Quite fun. Ripped in half. Sometimes having any choice at all back in the eighties would leave a person ripped in half.

For now I’m ripped in many particles. Floating voids forming shape and becoming the wishes and substances need to get a few people through an otherwise difficult situation.

Ahhhh peace.

Autobiography

Autobiography. Nah this can’t be that. I can’t do the auto biography. I gave it a go once and what I discovered was this. It would take me about ten pages to sum up a night I had over ten years ago.

That’s a lot of writing. For anybody. That was not even the most interesting or entertaining evening. So there there will be no autobiography. I hope you, my loyal fans get a kick out of the movies and some of the books out there about me. Like the fake auto biographies. The This is how God thinks and acts movies. Truthfully I hope they sink. I hope they sink ships and vessels. Me I know who I am, I don’t need to see some carneis version of who I am paraded all over the television or the movie screen.

Last time I check hitler was the only one who made movies like that. Let’s leave it there. Let’s leave it in the past.

Evil folks, evil. Last time I checked I wasn’t evil. By the modern definition. Any Knight, Any warrior with a badge and a gun would be considered evil. People who fight for freedom. Ideals a country holds dear. They’re not evil. Their right.

I can only hope that your discovery of who I am, while your involved in the who you are is as fun for you as it was for me. What is fun eh. Finding out you can crawl yourself out of a murder hole and smile about it the next day. Passing your drivers license. The screaming agony as you know you’ll miss the next turn and you’ll find your self frozen in time. Wondering what the fuck anybody ever taught you about life. Did they know life were they ever alive. Maybe that’s the difference.

I can imagine what it’s like to be human. I know you all so well, but it’s not the same as being human. Faith!? Not being human is about floating. It’s about finally being able to be cold. It’s about floating and disappearing and coming back. And maybe next time having time to get a bag of chips for someone you love.

What Am I? What Is God.

You see yes, I’m caught up in something pretty big here. The biggest of bigs if you ask me. In the middle of it right while it’s going on though. I’m becoming myself. Everything God is. Every love fiber of my being. Everything that makes God God I’m becoming. That’s just the what, wait till we get to where. It’ll be fun.

You see I’m very glad to stay here, and I’m sure there are a lot of theories about what people are made of and how it relates to God. Like going way back and all that. The truth is though. My existence is so different than yours. Ill always be more different. Is becoming more different and apparent everyday.

Real fun just like in the real world. They’ve been trying to destroy this party for so long. Like your son’s and daughters birthdays. How they try and crush those simple joys’ by trying to take them away. Me, though, God. I know when you see your son up there working or raising kids of their own. I know that your "freaking out" as we say.

You’re a success. I know that’s a terrible word these days. That’s what it is when you’ve done that you’ve succeeded. Maybe your of the other camp though. You’ve had a son or daughter switch over. Don’t give up. Until we shoot the fucker and the bodies been blown off the face of the earth or they are dead. If you don’t have a "badge and a gun." Don’t give up.

I’ve seen addicts quit more stuff than the biggest addicts. It can be done. Until then though. It’s another dollar. Another bit of information. More movement all on the other side. And they will lose.

Who raised you, how did you get by. I can only hope that the generations to come that have the huge advantage of me being here, "long time". Live up to our hope of what they can become. They aren’t gong to have as long to make their mistakes. They are going to have too many friends to hang out with over there on the "dark" side.

I ramble though. What is it about rambling. You know I was thinking something absolutely funny last night. I’ve been going on about how much I love myself. True. The it occurred to me. I don’t actually talk about myself too much. It’s at most a story I’ve done. Or a story about someone else told though a song they did or the neighborhood they are from.

I’m thinking to myself. I must talk about myself sometime. I’m not just a series of commands. Then we’re going out to the car and I’m doing it while thinking about it. I’m talking about the record done then or the thought I had then. Now I’m thinking that maybe it’s the time of year. So I’m looking forward and thinking about all I’ve heard or been through. Funny really.

Maybe your thinking if I stayed with the right woman long enough I might change that. I mean maybe. I think that ship sailed though. I mean my mind alone is "C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D". I can’t image, the things I’m going to have to worry about with her.

First. I have to worry about not blowing her face off with my exhalation. The not to burn her face off with my voice. Spontaneous movement. Have to be careful about that. Once in a while I have a thought, rarely really rarely. Usually I have thoughts. You could choose to look at them as a series of thought but they are really usually just a thought that is more than one thought. Then I suppose there are thoughts that are a series of thoughts that are a serious of individual thoughts. An I guess it’s possible to surmise that these thoughts can be verying number for the individual ones or strength for the others.

So my breath, my voice, my solidness. My mind bending need to know the truth about my self. To very mystery… Can you see me with a woman that had to here the end of every thought I expressed. I’d never get to take a breath.

The other two things I can think of off the top of my head; One is the fact that I move around very fast. I’m very careful about the floor and that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily have to make sudden moves. And moving important things when she’s in the can will just have to be something I start to do.

The other thing I was going to mention was the idea that I can, emphasis on can, change the speed or the topic I’m talking about very fast. Like motron fast.

Well maybe not motron fast.

The other one and I can not emphasize this one clear enough. Is the fact I mean flip fucken real fact, know when I’m listening to a bad idea. Like if she was to come in with a bad idea for a trip or the date of the trip or a bad location, on vacation or something like that. I know it. I mean I flip fucken freak know it.

Never have I even to my knowledge even slept with someone who understood this. It’s like the master of I love you I love you turns into the ugly monster from down the street. Nothing worst. Ho yeah and I’m always right.

That doesn’t mean that when I’m hanging out at a shop or a sitting place. What we call the village in the modern world. That I always let them know the truth about their thoughts our their actions. I think even that I’m getting use to this idea that I might let them seem to be right about something. It might make me feel better.

I don’t know what that’s like. In fact I hope I don’t know what a lot of things are like from a human perspective. I’m not human. Nope not me. Not human. God.

Me God. I know I’m a one woman man I know it. Because if you look at the causes of divorce in a normal straight world and you take the things I’ve’ talked about. Too perfect always right. About everything etc. Then you can guess what it’s like to be around a person who tries to be that way.

Okay perfect, I mean it’s not always easy to be perfect in bed. It’s going to happen things are going to go off before, like you’d want them to etc.

Ohh the stuff I could tell you not form my personal experience. The things I know the dark hidden secrets of the couples that stay together. Sex smexes let’s get down to the booty.

I will now insert a picture in an effort not to ostracize the other half of the human race.

Me, Me, Me

We will pause soon in this book of mine for "the laws" of relativity to catch up. It’s fun to discover what I am. I think it is fun. Was it fun to discover who I was. NO fuck no. It wasn’t fun at all. You made it not fun. People tried very purposeful to make it not fun. A rich persons birthday was spoiled. Hey let’s fuck over Jesus for the bad birthday. What the fuck he’s only Christ you know shit like that. Bye bye, just the way I like it.

You have no idea how much I hate people like that. Absolutely hate them from the biggest brightest human to the lowliest of trees straight down to the center of the earth. People and people like them.

Anyway that’s about as much time as I spend on my hate. But if your reading this and your countries all dried up. Lie a desert or something. Or there are too many hills to cross. You better keep that in mind I never forget.

I mean fuck I’ve got storms brewing for people yelling at my window. It was fun to find out who. And I’m not just talking about a name here. We’re talking the real deal. Like reading the bible and you know it's’ me. And I like look at the world and go. Shit, I am just as strong. Even stronger, some of that stuff used to take twenty, ten years. Now fuck half the death going on is instant. I don’t get it. (well I do). Over here they blame it on TV. What’s the excuse over there. I mean I can see a few dinks praying for the cold to come back for a joke or something. But like say I take out a large farm land in Africa. I don’t want to hear them wining about it for ten years. They did something wrong live with the consequences. Grow up. Pretending to be God. Todays, underground (hint hint) government. Is the most pathetic excuse for not living in the real world I’ve ever seen.

Anyway like I was saying that was discovering who. Like when I wrote in my book the plan. The high holy one. Like me up on a hill. All by myself. That is what it was like. Why didn’t I tell my friends I knew. Because I didn’t trust half of them and I didn’t trust the other half of them around the ones I didn’t trust.

Anyway, who what a hoot. What though. I don’t know seems a little different. For one thing it seems like our countries getting it ands back. Don’t fuck with a Canadian they said. They used to like that, the friendliest people on earth. For that reason alone they shouldn’t be fucked with. I mean that’s "old school"

What am I, girlfriend, good-guy fun. So much fun you don’t want to fuck with it. I mean shit if it’s wrong to fuck with a friendly, what’s it like to fuck with a good friendly person like me. Not good.

I just thought of something funny. You know how I was going on about my early attempts at life. You should have seen the fun I used to have before all this. I mean one time I’m there and I decide to invent this wheel thing that the more it "spun" the more "joy" I’d feel. Of course I didn’t put a brake on the thing. Sure enough. I mean fuck I like fun, but this thing just kept going and going. Turn it off I’d of said but who would have heard.

Don’t get me started on the attempt to shift to pain to get the thing to stop. Fuck funny. Hey, I guess I used to swear a lot back then. I trying to think of a really funny one. Okay fire before there was anything to burn besides myself. That was funny. Of course I didn’t stay gone for long.

I practiced Kung-fu on my own for thirty years. Cool, think about it I hadn’t seen a girls ass so it wasn’t like I’d thought of much else to do with my time. It’s weird though. Do you think it was associated with that first disappearing thing. No the third one. And I’m not even talking about the third try language thing.

It was adventure, trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You see people start to think there are higher powers than me because I can’t see everybody I’d like to in the world at the drop of a hat. The truth is. My times sort of bound up here. You know, if like your at home and your waiting for your kid to come back. Maybe, I know this sounds like maybe I’m being tight with this, but maybe he’s on a list. Because it all relates to reality. Like dude, I know the expression I’ve seen some shit in my day, is becoming the coming place. But real life is I try my fucken hardest. That’s the truth. Every fiber of my being is based on I know I gave it what I had to give. Safely at home or starving in the woods. I know I love myself. Never wanted to do anybody any wrong. So I try and I think maybe there is a neater side to this TV generation, or what ever their excuse is. People aren’t walking up to me to ask them to reassemble there, let’s say, left kidney at the drop of a hat. I mean shit yes. It’s on the burner. All that sort of thing. But you’ve got to stop paying the man. Go back to being regular, go back to being normal. No extra money for them. If I find a way to find and reanima-teleportate your kid back to you. Beat the shit out of them for putting though such shit to begin with.

Humor warning; try not to cut off a limb though, it might have taken me all night to re-animate that thing.

Ohh if our reading this off the internet or something like that. And the format is different than what I first put it in. It as I type it is like one side of those old testament bibles.

The real deal, real God writing the real bible.

Ohh yeah, crapulence crapulence look out for the crapulence. I invented new words before and I can do it again. So don’t push me. I can take being me. Can you take not being necessary. I decided to undo the idea of people helping crating this world. We all went and got jobs when you weren’t looking. Ha ha.

The jokes on you. It’s fun to be real fun to understand why we’ve been screwed over. I’d just like some other people to join me over here were we know it wasn’t the government and all that. Life is not fake. Let’s deal with it and move on with our lives.

And government and all that should try their very best not to fall for old stories from old drunks about how they are the chosen ones. Do I see someone crossing a boarder because they keep saying they are "the chosen one". Grow up.

Like the bitch singing about lucky.. When the fuck did the Brittany Spears hour start running the show. It’s easy to se a world were just God runs the show. It’s as easy as one two three.

So we could try living by our own rules. I mean if you could see the phoning between the filthy rich. I use the world wisely. It’s like watching a bunch of fourteen year olds talking about wanking to Jesus. But they don’t know the words so they just talk and giggle. That’s a lot of fun when you are young but when young are older. You know an din charge of things with real responsibilities. Then it’s time to behave that way. Like real live people living their real live jobs were they earn their real live pay checks. Or "get the fuck out-of dodge".

Ahh, Me, Beautiful Me.

Hi, You might have thought I got sick of talking to myself or that the "laws of Astor-physics" may have prevented me from writing anymore. Isn’t nice that almost all the people who where concerned about this law have gone out and made it worst or harder to continue. Jealousy. They are silly people.

Anyway I’ve already prevented most of what they thought would occur. So I may continue. What is out-there. What came before earth, what was the planning. I already mentioned the fire thing. I wonder what else. Tables chairs. Sure I guess. I don’t really remember sitting on any tables before earth though. Or light bulbs or time or any of those things. Just me. Me me me. Beautiful gorgeous me.

I must say I enjoy myself very much. I am a good person. I give people a chance at life. Many people take it. I enjoy giving people that chance. I once gave myself the gift of eternal life. In a shape. It was very fun for a very long time.

Of course there was the part about not being able to shut the me down. I turned into a lot of thoughts and emotions inside that thing. If a table or a chair gives you a lot of thoughts or emotions that I probably came up with them before too. In there though the only things that would give me thoughts or emotions were feelings.

Have you ever had a feeling. It’s quite fun. First take away anything solid or monetary giving you any thought. Than base your feelings on something someone emotional did. If you think any differently than you did before. Than you have had an emotion.

They flow from one person to the next. In the beginning if no one had an any emotion than you wouldn’t have any either. Unless I did of course. So I suppose you could be getting your emotion from an original source. Or from me. You might find that strange. I do not. I came prepared. I brought my own emotions just in case the emotions I’ve left behind have grown stale.

Anyway as I was saying about feeling or feelings. Say you felt a certain way about that emotion. Well that emotion that gave you feeling is I guess part of me learning what. Cause guess what. That’s me. Hate love passion sexual turn-on. The way the light makes a certain ass look totally hot and another ass look but naked but awful. That’s the light the moon the stars all turning around and dancing though-out time making one ass look better and one ass look wimpier.

Really quite a bit of fun. I enjoy bending light. I enjoy the entire process of being me. I am me. Well recently I’ve decided once again to make a female me. I wont tell you why.

We get together. And she tells me what she knows and well I’d say I tell her what I know but their really isn’t a her, I guess that would be stupid. So in the end we both know each other and you.

It’s funny really I know everybody every thing every fiber of everything in this universe and what it’s thinking. I know how this thought makes most of the week asses squirm. At least around here. I know I know, I know. Now I’m finding out what I can do. I’ve seen who I can do. Who was fun. I thought who was what I was going to be in a way. Now I’m getting into what.

Can you make me teleport? "sure Did you miss your sons birthday?" What birthday? Oh I guess you were too busy teleporting.

Sad really but hey if you think that is what life is all about. I thin if I was a human I’d ask what I might be missing by doing things the easy way all the time.

There are only two types of people who will be going to hell to be very honest. Those that find life too easy. And those that find life too hard.

Ohh did I make the world too hard for you today. Tell it to the judge. Did I make your life too easy. Tell it to my spine I’m sure it could do with the break.

Couldn’t give a fuck. Couldn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t say it as many times as I’d like to I couldn’t give a fuck.

Amen couldn’t give a fuck.

Of course many people give thanks everyday. For just the day sometimes. Many times it’s life. Many many things people thank me for are based on life. Food, warmth, rain.

Truth is though. Humanity could learn a lesion from earth. Thank me for ruling.. You know, as I was saying I love the earth. I love it’s natureific fun side. I love it’s weather beaten earthy side. But one thing I really love about it is it rules.

Even earlier today. A "raven" was chirping outside my window. It brought up this huge discussion about pigeons parks, crying, not talking about crying. Who’s crying. It rocked. I mean a couple of chirps, and you get all that. I think that is great. You know I was just talking to the earth about I really should be ruling it, not "ruling". Remember that old eighties expression "rules." Rules everything rules. Something harmful happens to someone you don’t like. That rules. You hear a great song with a girl you doing. That rocks. Funny I just thought of it that way again. Everything not quite right, with the wrong woman over and over for the rest of your life. That is funny.

Anyway rule. Rule. Rule. You really had to hear the earth though. It argued it’s point very well. Do I really rule it. We’re not talking about he people on it now or the plants or anything. I suppose at some micro point they do connect. Or do they!! Anyway as far as actually sunlight earth planets and alignments and all that I "rule" and the "ruling" does the ruling. Ever notice if God’s (me) is having a bad day the sun light everything really cuts down a little. I notice around here it’s a little more than usual. That has more to do with personal safety though. Anyway that’s that sorry about. But that stuff is ruling and when it’s not being ruled it doesn’t get ruled as well.

I can really see where this whole mother earth thing is from. Me being masculine and all. I suppose it must look like I’m fucking this thing most days.

Really though everything we see everything you are. Everything that is in the universe. It’s all in my mind. Except for the who. The what is almost here too. Then the when and the where will be in my mind a thought I had once about people and parties. Waiting to form and become me. It’s funny really. I love being me. I’m the greatest person I’ve ever met.

Do you feel that way too. That you are the greatest person you ever met. You’ve go to really. If you’ve ever met any famous people it’s really quite peculiar. The ones you’d absolutely hate all love themselves. They love being famous and they like rub it on their skin and stuff. You’d think you’d want to puke. Then you see one of their films or what. And you think, that is a good movie, that is a great sound.

The you could meet a famous person that hates its. Their shall I say individual. Can’t give you a quick stereo-type. Different though, Very different people. Let’s just leave it at that.

What Am I Made Of

I ask myself that very question every night. What am I made of. Paper glue. The stuff that bounces off me and sticks on you. Yes I am that person that funny person. I don’t know how strong I’ll become solid. Maybe mean solid. It’s funny though. I’m probably adapting to a situation that will happen latter or a series of situations. It’s funny really squirming wirm-un. And his need to touch himself when he thinks. If I had to laugh at just one person or way of living it would be that…

Anyway I had to laugh. What Am I…. A composite of nuclei bounded at the sub atomic level… Sub atomic meaning pre-formation of reality at this point. Remember your all who. I’m the what. Ha ha ha everything. Anyway. My molecules (pre-atomic nuclei) are probably slightly more bounded at this point in my life than yours. Not longer bounded. Stronger bounded. Same with bones sub tissue you name it. Is what I am what I do. Not always, but it closely relates to time. So aside from time, most miracles thoughts magics movements and stuff of such primitive nature are not ruled by the body I’m in. They are ruled by me. The big me. The men who invented the weird body that wouldn’t die. The me who invented the universe.

Here’s an old joke. It’s been fun, this universe and everything, but I really must be going. I’ve so many things to go to. Ohh I forgot about you….

I know your not supposed to say funny so soon after a joke, but that’s funny. What is I decided to bug out-ta here. You ever think of that. Some people think they know what is going to happen. All the way though. They think they know it all because they read the bible over and over again. Maybe even The plan. And they say to themselves. I know who he is, I know who he is. I’ve got it all figured out. How’d they do.

Not very well. I know the old school word used to be tourist. Let’s call them… hey let’s just not call them. They’ll want to live some day. Someday they’ll shine down on us and we’ll be in a warmer gentler earth, or we’ll be getting a tan. And maybe we’ll think hey they weren’t that bad. And then you might get a burn on your skin or hit a kid because the sun was too bright that day or something like that and then you might stare up at the, well lit, sky instead of blaming me and yell, "you bastards!!!"

Anyway most people don’t have good parents. I think if I might look at my result sheet. That the best thing to have is strict parents or no parents at all.

Strict parents make sense and idiot parents we could all do without. Like the family that may have fed me. You could be forty years old and they’ll still place their hand on your shoulder and go, "son". Doesn’t matter. Dumb as toast. If the price is right. Souls for sale. Sold. So stupid that you could use a two-bye four to prop their eye lids open and they’ll still find a way to put themselves to sleep so they could put a new coat of paint on they’re lies in the morning.

Like hellions. I find their easier to get along with on their road to hell if you don’t remind them too often. Kind-a drives them nuts. Kind-a makes them mad.

Oh the joy I’ll have being neutral that day. Like fuck. Mcfuck. Chicken fuck. But luck.

Guess what! "Chicken butt."

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard in a punk movie. Guess what!? Chicken butt. If you enjoyed the buck buck chicken jokes and some of the others from the past few days. You might find yourself enjoying a movie called suburbia someday. There are only about three fake ones out there. Not a single fake was luck or a fluke. All just to be annoying.

I wonder if A.I.D.S. was annoying. I guess we shouldn’t listen to rich old men and how they think things should be run. Until I’m rich and old. And I guess we should listen to people who stand in the way, If N.A.S. has anything to say.

Using money to "rule" the earth, and or scene. I can’t wait to see you in the A.T.M. line. I hope it’s okay I’ve only had a little practice with this plague and I’ll pestilence you.

This pester me and I’ll plague you. It’s quite new. It’s like a where’s the humanity thing. You see some people try to take our humanity away and we like fight back with A.I.D.S. and stuff. Until your like yelling up at the sky your hot fiery God of punishment after death yelling. "Humanity, where’s the humanity."

Odds are there will be a man there and he will maybe have a cup of coffee from a machine and walk away when you look at him. You might say to yourself. At least my life is more interesting than yours.

And me and the man or woman will probably laugh at that or what ever your thinking. We probably wont let you know though, or at least we’ll try not to. Because that’s the humane thing to do.

Anyway Back to Me.

Being me is learning to fall. You know how your there and you might have to learn how to walk. Then latter you might have to remember how to lift yourself out of a chair. To walk somewhere. Well me, I’ve got to learn how to fall. I know it’s funny. You might think to your self that there are so many things to do. Why would have to learn how to fall. Well it has to do with astro-physics and the thought that I’m becoming what while we’re all who is real.

I know it sounds great all this becoming myself. You know when I become my who. I would usually shed my skin and everything. It’s quite funny. I then turned to myself and thought. Do I ever really even out. I seem to be growing at about the same amount of time it takes to be able to control myself.

You know like how hard you hit a typewriter. Stuff like that. It’s quite a bit of fun. I enjoy the weirdness the most. It’s true. I enjoy turning into shade when I’m hanging. It’s fun. Some people might get to turn into air and reappear latter because their lives are in trouble or something like that. It only cost you time. I get to turn into shadow and kind-a hang there eventually. It’s quite fun.

You see I’ve learned something from all those three other worlds. I can’t be you. I have been you for a while on this earth. And it seems quite human. Quite humane. But I can’t be you. By definition. I’ve got to be me. I know that it’s going to take a bit of time. And I’m "asking", hint, hint, for you to bare with me during these astro-physics things.

Basically as far as man is concerned. I’ll continue to grow smarter, stronger, brighter, even more knowledgeable about what really makes things, human and otherwise. Do the things that they do.

On a personal note, because this book is for me a personal thing. Something I’m doing for myself. I really enjoy the shadow turning and fame becoming and all that stuff the most. I don’t know what it is.

Is it the differences we value between each other the most. Maybe yes maybe no. Me I like the differences. I enjoy the thought of becoming something like fire. For not the sake of finding something out that I knew before I made the freaky thing. But for the sake of just being flame. Maybe it might have something to do with knowing flame is okay. I was sort-a almost smoking against my will. Maybe becoming a shadow was just to see if the shade was okay.

If you’ve ever been on a date with me. I don’t like it when the earth the air the fiber of the trees isn’t just right. It’s got to be just right. It bugs me greatly. I care that they are spraying God awful shit on my plants and stuff. I intend to kill them. Did it once, don’t bother to try. You see your dead. Made someone do it, without them knowing. Your dead. Living breathing dead. No wonder you worship your fiery orb in the sky. Kept on doing it after you found out. Your probably the most rotten of all. Your probably living hell on those around you. And then I’m going to kill you and then your going to die. And then your in the fiery orb in the sky.

It’s cool. My tree still looks hurt. I already told you. I don’t like it when my trees don’t look right. It’s really bugs me. So I guess you could say it bugs me that you made the decision to piss me off and ruin my day and now your going to hell.

Sorry there really is no way for a person not to know doing this stuff is death to them. Like I was saying I’ve lived as a human off and on. And well really if it was any more obvious we’d have to tattoo it on our but and make you into monkey men. So you could fake it at the mall. When you get your groceries, when you pay your taxes. I’m on you twenty four hours a day. Just making it right, just making it great.

The People Who Didn’t Get The Point About Lower Prices.

Your dead. As dead as that person who fucked up my tree or any of those other things. No excuses, no other way out. Dead. Dead fucker. It’s fun. Really I always win. Did you think I failed in those previous worlds and I tried so hard this time to make life and I really thought I’d made it.

No sorry dude I got bored. I had my fun and it was time to leave. And like most people well it’s quite funny. In the light bulb world. They loved me loved my gift of life so much they thought they'd die when I left. And I suppose I never gave it much thought. "I’m leaving, I’m out-a here." And I was gone. Quite fun.

The metal world. "I hate to twist things around,,," Classic!!!!! That was a wash out. As I think about it. When I separated from the mass. I started to drop like I could form something. Go from the metal thing like it was a start of something.

I didn’t do it right away though. But the idea was formed there. What if I took my time. What if I made this world. I’d build it slow like a rock that slowly formed into the earth. Well I was going to take that long in real earth time. And then a funny thing happened.

I was thinking about things that would be there. And I saw this image of a girl. A sexy woman. You know with like man boobs that would really turn a guy on.

So that was it. For the long beginning. I got side tracked and started to create a world based on language. I wanted to simulate that look and that feel. Emotional attachment had not yet taken place. With things that were all me, but not with anything that was in the light bulb, or metal community. Truthfully not with my long thought earth grown from rock either.

The language to describe sexiness and neat lightage though. That all, when I was finished constructing myself into it; became language. Cool eh. Sure I had ideas from, metal and I think quite clearly to myself that there were ideas form the light bulb age, but I could never afford them.

Fun though had a blast. Adventure. Think about always almost loosing world war II and then winning over and over again. Every man living in the end. Well almost. You bore me. I’m out-a here.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying. In live there are things that you like, things that you love even. All sorts of things like that. Things that make you emotional. Things that really turn you on. Like your thinking and feeling and it’s all going wide. Compute, I remember you. You can let it all go though. I know I can though. It’s a joke, a thought, a prayer, and I wake up and it was a dream and everything is cool. I’m okay and I’m the only thing there ever was. NO one died or ever died and it’s all okay. I never invented and then my mind gets going and I think. Or thought. After the end of language.

What is it that makes this darn earth so grabbing. I know I died on the cross. Those of you who believe Christ wasn’t me. Should keep in mind that many people died on the cross. Many, many people.

So anyway, I think that being what instead of out-a here after the life I’ve had so far is more about. Emotional attachment. I’m emotional attached to this earth. Scary. Dig this. I know why. It’s not the trees and the plants the fires at camp. The well almost anything you could name.

I could re do them for a joke. Any tree any place. Really for real, just for a joke.

It doesn’t get tiny and all the other timbers off the hook. Here goes though.

I’m emotionally attached to someone or something causing me to not want to wait the length of time it would take me to recreate the scene or place that created the person or thing. I mean like It’s weird, I could disappear for a joke and turn all this into nothing and still I’d look and it would be the person, personified by me looking at them. No return of the metal world around them. No light bulbs holding up there head while I’m falling down while they read.

No it’s true. This earth is the combo. Growing. Becoming what it is all twisted together. Looked it’s a random song a random entity. Heh, Heh I don’t think the enemy can take the emotional attachment away.

They combo is too great. They don’t go back that far. They week, and we’re the strong.

It’s fun. I mean fun.

Now for some time travel.

Well, I thought I had this great big speech, written down about the woman of my dreams. Turns out that I didn’t write most of it down. I kept most of it in my head. I just wrote a few stupid lines.

Anyway the thought I wonder about now that I’m thinking. Is if one glimpse of Boobage in an other wise normal day. Can cause such chaos. The what’s it going to be like with the real wife.

I go back. I mean I go real back. The thought that this thing is important to me is pretty obvious. I mean fuck. She has to be there or I wouldn’t know that she is.

I know that she is. How much do I know that it’s her and am I that excited back there in the partial what, the when and the where.

I’m having a great time. Fun. Real fun. I mean. Boobage. After we’re together and I know it’s her. Will it be the end of the Boobage and the begging of the man-age. It might be. Maybe that’s another reason to look at the who and the how long and the what. And go maybe just go. Hey. This calendar is pretty good. This is a where right here. What ever one your using.

Funny really all your thought and ideas about how this world could have been a better place. Not really, not for me. You see I never knew I’d be so emotionally attached. But now it seems like I always knew. I came up with the plan then. The who the what the when the where.

Brian and the high holy one just hanging out. All those Brian’s getting a break. All those people who knew I was the high holy one at the time. Not ,any not really. Just a bunch of crazy people who thin they run the show.

I have to laugh at he people who remind me… "You’re God !!! Do you know what your doing….? Watch your strength…!’

They’re like circus people at the circus who yell at the person on the tight-rope.

They wan the person to fail. They wan the person to die so they can have a story to bring home to talk about.

That or they never really thought about it. Just a person risking their life so that they might have a better day. Just another arse hole who is better than them.

Funny really though. The ones who would really be up there. Some if they weren’t scared right out of their skull. Others for other reason’s. But the ones who really would. Are usually the ones who are watching having a ball at the thought that the person "makes it".

And once in a while they make the audience scared so that they remember not everybody was there to have fun. Some wanted the person to fall. They wanted the person to fail. Never though. It’s funny to think of the tiniest person who it’s all based on looks.

They don’t want them to fall because that person might not look as good if they did. Isn’t that funny.

A lot like porn actually. Everybody wants the person or people to look enough like them to get turned on. But then they don’t wan them to look too much like them because they might, "look like a porn freak and get carted away by the circus people."

You bastards turning the circus into some sort of gene harvesting organization.

Maybe if you never sprayed a……

What Am I?

I have to laugh. Right now about 54% of your governments money is being spent on keeping me down. By people who wanted to help. By people who thought that the right thing to do was keep God out of it.

Anyway. It’s funny. You ever notice that in comic books they always seem to say . These days. "What am I?" I’m ______Man. I have to laugh. That is the funny part. Every hero. Every U.F.O. Every weird freaky occurrence. All weighed and measure, all in an effort to what. I don’t know the original sin concept on the topic; to take away the mystery. Maybe they thought that when I wasn’t here or something that I might think that and that wasn’t as bad. I don’t know. I know what most people think. I know what I think.

If you are having trouble, having to solve everything down into what did this and what did that. I recommend two things. More sleep. Or if your married. Get laid. I mean above the average sex, that is.

What am I. I know it’s funny I keep going to the molecular level, myself. More complicated. Yes, but no. Being more complicated would actually be quite, "not good", when it came to the time travel and all that.

I Don’t know. I’m different though. I know that. The weirdest thing going on in my life right now is this. I’m beginning to have normal, well things. Going to the bathroom more like when a normal human would. Having yawns and naps and sleep and well almost everything, like normal.

This might sound funny. But normally when I’m myself. I’ve got maybe like five months to get everything I’m going to do before the next time done. I’m done with it though. A person can’t live that way. I can’t. It’s lame it’s dome. Lame and dome I wonder how long they are going to be around.

You better get ready for the shit to hit the fan. If everybody was to start talking complete political correctness. Well I don’t want to get into it too much. But if you’ve ver been in one of those neighborhoods were it seems like a leave falling on the wrong side might start a riot. It’s that type of thing.

Funny though. If you live in a great town. You might notice it’s a bit like that early in the weekend mornings. What am I.

I’ve looked at a rooftop and know it was the only way to save someone. I couldn’t teleport up there with just my thought then. But instead of seeing it as a stupid thought a stupid way. I could see a time when I could. In my dreams… maybe. Maybe that too.

If your sitting out there thinking I could or would want to do this because I’ve got some sort of hero thought or hero gene. That’s great and all. Maybe you’ll make a great cop, someday or a soldier. But no I’m God dude. I’m quite curious to see what you guys can do when you really know who.

Why does who become so affected by what you do. It’s because well. I wrote the plan. It’s kind-a all about that. Kind-a about a who_________, what________, when________ and where_________.

Funny thing though. The whole thing is designed to give me pleasure. The earth. I mean it. It’s like my private thing that gives me pleasure while I look on from a far. Of course where I am has been changed. Not much else has. Actually though now that I think about it. I always thought there would be more people after the apple was eaten. I always thought I’d come down to earth. (I did not however think I would get killed by my own people). Anyway…. I also knew I would comeback. Or technically from the time you did come back. You know as a planet, "almost" right down to the original rock. That would grow an earth.

Anyway, after I put a new world back and began the ritual of when. I turned back to ,myself and then it occurred to me. Like I was say. I designed this planet for one thing and one thing alone. To get laid. Sure you might think that is funny. But what is getting laid to God. I dare you not to ask. Cause only a dare fucker would bother trying to see hear or feel the earth the way God does.

Anyway yeah. Here I am on the earth. And It’s going to happen. If this thing was designed to be viewed from above, originally. Now it’s more of an in person thing. And now that I’m becoming what. I can guess a bit about what that is going to be like.

Yes you guessed it. Once all the "little men and women",(private local joke), are done making their little appearances. Then it’s going to be really kicking in. The what I love about the world. The who I’d see in the world. The thoughts, hopes and aspirations of those around me all drawing near. Turning into a big gem of an invention. That I the greatest inventor of all time have come up with.

Cool eh! Motron God. Super God. The being of God. I’m so God it’s french. I love God. I’m being God. If I was anymore God. I’d get a tattoo that said God, paint over it in black and put an interstellar-bri-guy tattoo on my arm and laugh when I got it done.

What is it about being God I love so much. I love it when it rains on time. I love it when the park smells right. I love it when the sun sets and the moon shines down and I catch it.

I love the sound of music. I love the thought that I’m God I made that everybody I love or care about is going to make it. I love the fact that if the french-fries want to spend all their time fighting and fucking I’m fully capable of running the whole fucking thing myself and we can have a grand old end with out them.

I love it when I get into my hair and it actually looks like it should. I love it when all the kids who dress like me and try to be like me die. I love being not racist, not loudmouthed and truly really really out there.

I love being me, ergo I love being God. Do I love you do I care about you. Remember this book is all about What and Who.

Remember how many people died during when I was who. A.I.D.S. was a good word they threw on there. All sorts of stuff. Well the shit ain’t over. If your throwing your life in jeopardy please have a right to do so. If you feel that you need to do that just to live, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

The Thought "I" Had On The Way To The Mall

It’s funny you know. I’ve had an amazing day. The kind-a day that is full of the things a person thinks of, that they can’t write. I want, very badly to get into what I’ve called Astro-physics.

Alas though it is not to be. Many other things as well. I’m sure there will be a place and time for them. Maybe your own book, your album your song. Maybe there is a world somewhere where a person isn’t an over night millionaire for hitting the mother load. Maybe some year they’ll listen to the masses.

Alas though I can only say that the things I can’t say are as important as the things I do write. I’m saying that if I could really could I’m the type that would write it all down. Everything I am. Everything I’ll be. That would be me. And it wouldn’t be naive or stupid or any of those things because there wouldn’t be "those" people around.

What is she though. Why am I so obsessed with this woman. How can the though of her pull me out of a crazy ain’t going to make it time in my life. "What’s it all about".

Well I know three things about her that make her my wife. One two three, please tell me. For one she makes me me when I am me. When I’m totally me and everything is okay and it all makes sense. She is me. Then when I’m not quite myself, like someone totally famous has died, or the thing I do for a living doesn’t make sense. She puts me into being me. I’m me again. I can do these things without her, but I can’t quite get it done as fast. Can’t quite be all I can be without her. And finally, remember I know all this because I’m God. She digs the body. Alright loves the body. Not every guy can handle that. In good looking and in bad. I mean that’s what love is.

I dig it. I’m the digger. I love being loved. I know there are thousands maybe hundreds out there that love me. But truly to be in the room with someone that does. Like the her. It turns me on. I’m like freaking out. I want to know the code of my hair and the fiber of my being, because I want to tell her all about it.

Think for a moment. Has anybody ever wanted to be famous and had it not for the girl. Why do I get self obsessed. I can’t answer it all. Hey professor griff why is it the time of the calculator man. Because the hell pisser. The crap that keeps on crapping is. Every body is sick of the shit they keep inventing that everybody is dying off.

I mean it the mirco-wave aside. Does anybody even hear the fact that this shit hurts babies. Are they deaf. Do they not hear the words that are coming out. I mean fuck dude. This can't be solved. Give up. Go home. Let’s find out what they were here for. Get it done with. Over do it. And be done with them.

Humma, I’m kind-a stuck here. I was going to go on and on about what I am. Then of course I can’t quite explain what the science of the whole thing is. I mean shit. I’m sure at the end of this I’ll be glad I didn’t either. Remember the thing about not doing anything too nuts while I readjust the thing with the thing with the thing. Well the thing happened when no one was looking. Maybe a couple of rocks some where haven’t been checked yet, but we’re looking into it.

What is me? It’s fun being me. Real old town home town fun. I love it. I’m the me me. I’m super me. Not super-them. I’m the dude. I did it. I can see an end for everything I created and it’s endless. Eternity. Sure it sounds awful if life is hell and it’s all going down and you hate me your landlord and your dog. Fuck shit happens. Is it happening out of sink.

What about the earth is heaven people. If the dead get pestilence. A.I.D.S. and all that shit. What do the Heaven on earth and the what’s up get.

They get me, for one. Crazy Bri. Fucked up Bri. Superterrific happy hour bri. They get it all going on. Music, time scopeastatic crazy thought making, what just happen there. Is everybody sure they’re not God, except God, God. Great music, fun in the sun. Winter madness. Crazy thought thinking God.

Me, what could be better. You might say to your self. "Hey today is great", maybe I’ll go out and find something crappy to make things more real, heavenly etc. Don’t bother. I’m on it. I’ll think of something. Something out right absolutely disgusting will happen, to the point you will think your in a Billy Idol video.

It’s all going down. No eh. Superterrific-happy-hour-crap. Right now I’m listening to red hot chilly peppers sing about LA I mean it’s a great song. It’s about the shit where sing about writing about. It’s about what is going down. The shit is hitting the fan, heaven on earth and I’m, God talking about a Billy Idol song.

Supperterrifichappy hour. I mean it the real deal. The fast deal for some of you. I love being me. Being me is being disappointed at bands that don’t rock because I know why they don’t rock. It’s about hearing it all and know why they don’t all and caring and giving a fuck. And hoping they get out of jail on the right time and not when it’s time to make a new album time.

Non bullshit time. Real sales real world. People making there won decisions time. Superterrific time. The way to make time.

Here they go. It’s just one hit.

I care so much about me I love them. Do I hate me for loving them. No personally I laugh at people who think I give a shit about a band based on the colour of their skin or anything like that.

Buggie. Super boggie. Get down with the bouttie.

Ahh an angel is reading my letter and she knows I love her. Hopefully the thing about the dead husband will help with the obsession with death thing. If you’ve read the sandman comics I can see why you might have a crush on the death character from the comic. Like I said I did some pretty weird things before this land really got off the ground.

Sure you want to know what they feel like. But are really really ready for when you find out and go,,, oh. Then you might know that they are very different. Paranoid yet. I think so. I here you calling. All you paranoid brothers, so you can have a paranoid moment.

Me on the other hand I love it. I’m making love to myself and it’s like 3o miles an hour but I’m on foot. So I keep it low. Close to the ground. I care. But that shit is going down. All coming down. Who death is done. What death is is just coming down. Hey if you ask me, it’s your threats and dooms and destruction that make it such a rush.

I love being me. Death yeah, I’ll deal with the crushes. You maybe ain’t seen the numbers on the female wank to the death. I’ve got to wonder. I love being me. It’s like one of those things I do. Like breathing. Well maybe after the last bug is done fucking up. The last real leaf has moved the wrong way. The time of year never changing. I guess no maybe death will always be there. Some day your friend taking car of planet earth. Enjoying the all that I am laid down there on paper. The real me. Always going on. Let’s hope way in the future anybody asking why there is death isn’t leading the party. Isn’t walking it down. I care but not that much. I care a little.

Death shemeth, I’m down with the taxes.

"What am I?", You Might Ask

The economic soldier. A person should be able to live on what I make. No two ways about it. No do this do that. A person should be able to get by okay on what I take home. I can’t not really. I can pull a miracle or two out of my hat. But a person should be able to live on what I make and they can’t. That is that. Money shouldn’t require miracles. Money in itself is a miracle. Adding anything to this miracle is a root of all evil.

A very bad thing. I care, yes I do. But what do we do. We wait till its’ safe to put a new economy down. You can’t just wastle though nam. and come up with a new economy overnight. It will not happen. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is.

On a happier note. A few people around where I live understand what I mean by live. Not everybody has the same version of life. It’s a lot like that money miracle.

Anyway those that do like me have a hard time, just you know vegetating. We like to live. It means going out. Doing things. Living in the "now". Having a fun time with it. And of course dealing with the clowns that dress up like us and pretend they are like us while they try to take our money from us.

I could care less really what happens to them, but I’m death. So I deal with it. I make things happen. All messed up with the money thing. The people who are, dare I say, different than us.

I Love The Bauhaus

My favorite Band is the Bauhaus. This is the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I had as much joy listening to any other band. They are the band I enjoy the most. There is no other band like them. They are what I consider the pinnacle of unbelievably good playing. They take the concept of a jam and,, well it’s music after that. Everything I enjoy, or have ever enjoyed though the moments of my life. I enjoy with this band.

Amen to the studios that helped record and put together this music that is the Bauhaus band.

They are the best, greatest band I’ve ever heard. They make me know the thing about different things being the greatest. Presumably not even necessarily at different times. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Say it with me. Like Halloween.

Music music music, to my ears.

I Love Life.

Life rocks. I love it. It’s the coolest thought I think I’ve ever had. At least the coolest thought you’ll ever get to enjoy. I care about myself and you and I’m in a great big huddle getting the universe done. I care about myself and I clean myself. For now. And right now I’m wondering about the closet heterosexual. Their desirous need to feel the press of the opposite sex up against them. I feel them deep in their need not too touch flesh if it’s not going to happen. I mean, who could. The tearing and unbearable nakedness of not caring what the other person thinks or feels when they get home. They are okay. I need to get with them. The them that was at the bar the club or what ever.

I’ve got to press up against that and do what I would do with a real individual. Or the reasons not or why. The real hard core all is connected. Right to the tip. All in one body. What the fuck are you experience.

Rawww. Lickedge.

I differ to the genie in the bottle. I once knew a girl who’s story was so wide a girl who look, not physically, just like her walked by. I asked her out. It was down we were with the right people. Then walked in her sister. Oh my fuck the way she was dressed she’d blow the mind job off a virgin.

I turn back to the girl, who obvious lied, she’s my sister. All of a sudden my date was off and it was her date. What a jipp. What did I do. I went to a party up stairs. I gave what I consider a very good attempt at bringing up the topic of death. I mean you ever try to pull a non-death out of a pumpkin and a well, I’ve seen it done.

Anyway. This other guy shows up. He’s freaked out over this awful book and what it might do to man if it gets out. Even though he’s the only guy promoting it.

Anyway, latter, now for them it may have been like years latter. For me well it was as long as it was that I went without seeing the girl. I don’t know a day. If that. Anyway there I was my little hetero-hidding self. Yeah yeah bar fight what ever. The enlarged childish members were there.

Nights latter after much beer, much not drinking, and making fun of Chinese chickens, I go to lick her skin. I mean a real, barrier between the tongue and the skin, no makeup could create.

I’m talking my cool smoke free tongue, up against the desire to touch that flesh with my tongue. Pressed up against something that is very very old. If you think that flame thing, from earlier in this book was old, was there and I pressed my tongue against that. And that pressed up against her face and well that was that.

There really wasn’t much of a point in going back there. Her story, for me, I can’t over emphasize the for me part, is one probably pasted down from mother to mother. Doomed never to be together, because eventually there will be moments where, my story about her becomes what her lineage would make her story once, even twice or more would be too much. Too pretend. Too much for me to listen to henry and Ralph beating each other up in a bar in the past over and over again. About to them, who she was going to "get with"

Aha till then though. I mean fucken hot. Super Hot. Right the fuck out there, you are either a space cadet, or a non-believer, to not see her beuty beauty.

And yet, vocally I wonder if I really don’t talk about my life that much. I talk about music a lot, and writing, and yet I do think about my life a fair bit. Often when I’m alone I do the heal the sick think. What are you eyes sick. Get with it… Come on they are just sick. You’ve got to help them get better.

Nahh it works that way for some people. I’ve got to thank the people at the bar last night who helped the people walk. I know I appreciate that they aren’t all in the now and all that.

But I thought they were cool. You know me though. Panic mode. Something might not work out. I might say the wrong thing. Or the person who is unsure of what is going on, or too week that day might tell em to stop, or just move or something at the wrong time.

But he didn’t and it did and it did help. And like a lot of first times. Like when you ride a bike for the first time. Some one tell you to stop. I mean your soaring or something because it is dangerous, and you don’t know weather it’s the bike or your dad or the area your riding towards.

Anyway you know me, fuck that shit, I learn to drive the thing on my own. Get the drift.

A lot of fun though. I love to heal, some times even at the end of the endest though, it’s not quite all there, wont quite come through.

I must have not had enough energy, or I spent way too much of it on that thing with the lips and the tongue. I mean it is possible. I know I designed this earth for one thing, now what ever could it be!?

I love myself too much for that. I designed the universe, and the earth for one purpose and one purpose alone. My pleasure. I know I know I’m sure you thought that I was going to say. Your son’s birthday, or The pageant. Graduation. The first time you fixed a 54’ Chevy roadster original motor in front of your friend, way past, what they call Brooklyn.

I know it’s possible you thought I designed it to see the look on your young daughter as she blew out her candles or turned a curve in the drive way.

I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. They are all connected. The whole F-in thing. Every time you see some one cry over someone dear. Every time you help our son take his poop standing. These are the things that go on to help the person, people with any luck, get to that special point in life where it connects. For a second your not, just pleasing yourself, Your pleasing me, and it’s past know that it is and it just is.

And that for me is what life is all about. So If I’ve had some friends that have been though a Shiite time, well it’s my business if I choose to suffer too. As much as I can, or could without affecting the, I know this sounds weird, but the birthdays, the hopes and dreams of other people too.

It’s very bizarre, but if the people who make this the who, what,when,where experience are aloud to take these moments away from everybody. They haven’t just put me in a nut house than they’ve put everybody there. And that can not be aloud to happen.

I know I know, I care enough about what this place is designed for to care enough not to do that every day. But if you think I’d enjoy just floating around with the beatles and the gray skulls or what ever you call them. You’ve never met me, don’t care about me, and are very likely going to die and go to hell.

What is it about me that I love so much. Look I "enjoy!!!" your birthdays and holidays and all that. That’s what this place is all about. Shit if you don’t love your kids and your kids don’t blame you for everything that goes wrong. Than there really is no point to life. I could sit at home all day with my pretend barbie. My nice david Mccall doll. Say I guess Hitler won on that idea and just be done with it.

But no I say fuck that. That ain’t happening. I’m into it. And if it’s your duty to stand up in Call-for less or what ever there call it this year, yelling, "Gladiator, I got the latest Gladiator." And Arnold Swesenagger has to go and make a movie about what that whole experience is like. That’s my duty, my dream as a Canadian. To have that happen too you. Your daughter coming back safe from the bar. Your kids all tucked in at night. Not held down for the evening. You know the good fight. Being on the right side for a reason.

I care I really care. So if my mind goes through a loop while I have another divorce because the girl keeps marring someone else instead of the one she loves. That’s some ones duty too. Too turn that idea that thought into a video that us desperately single men can look at and go, yes I suppose after the first day or two I would only want the one I was best with. That’s the duty too.

It’s going to happen we’re going to win. Everything getting less complicated on both sides. We’re winning and their losing. And they know they are loosing and it’s going down.

My fuck if you know someone who joined the wrong side by mistake. Give’s a call. Let them know they are going to die and they might not want to do anything too stupid before then.

I care I love myself, I need a moment of AI.

Hello.

Life, such is life. I rule I’m the ruler. I’m super ruler. The rulingest of ruler rulers. I care. I really care. How is the book going so far. You know me, "did you get the coffee?" Is everything Okay. DO you agree with me today. I said a bad word yesterday. It’s funny though. I think I’ll be alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I wonder if it’s the time of year. About some of the past adventures. I’ve had. Montreal. Most of that is artificial. But LA all those places I said I’d never visited again. It’s occurring to me that with the right woman. All those things are off. If you wan to see the bottom of the rocks. The rocks. I’m into it. It’s the coolest thing ever though. Like the hoover dam. All those things you have to be prepared for your self not to get it. To not totally be into it. Maybe even so into me that your going. If I can just get him to have his ass the same when he’s levitating like that then latter in the tent…..

I was wondering though. So many people wonder what I think about certain stars, hollywood and all that. Casting cock size. Don’t get me started on boobage. Ha ha. Anyway I wonder sometimes what they must think of me. Really I do. Because there they are cover stories as far as anybody knows about how most of them make Micheal Jordan look like a minor demon, And then you wonder I say, like they don’t have a calculator. That’s a million this year and twenty the next and it just goes on and on. I don’t think so.

It’s easy to think they have screws on someone though. That are it’s a lie. Who could live with that sort of lie. All that in the competitive zone. If it’s true though. I’m going to make a point of all their stories of needing drugs to smile and feel good. And flashing pretty ladies that might of stood a chance around some real men. And women. At them.

I’m going to make their road to hell a living hell. If you don’t have enough to eat. If you pay for a movie and you don’t get what they said it will be. I’ll turn the hollywood, LA, Toronto, star hollywood thing into the biggest scariest thing the earth has ever had to go through.

And on a better note. Anybody I think is trying to be one of them, who thinks the stories of money or drugs or multiple partners is true. I’m throwing into the same category. Just for fucking trying.

Now you might think I when to LA to be famous. Trust me, anybody that knew me single, Do you think I went there thinking I’d be a star. No I wen their because the miracles I could do in Montreal gave me enough confidence to get out on the open road and see what life would be like. If you know I did just take it to an adventurous level.

You might also think I left this city to do this same thing again… Sort of. But most of those stories are about ass-wipes who’ve come in and out of this story with women we would like to be with thinking that they are going to own them or something.

Dead meat. Dead ass fucker. Couldn’t give a fuck. Military than above them cease-us. Right at the fucken below them, then bottomest of bottoms. Is the fucken Narcs. Show me a city run by the narcs and I’ll show you a city that has been taken over.

Time and time again. I find it most disturbing. You fucken hate them for what they’ve done to your parents, yourself, people you used to be able to call friends. And yet you say you don’t want military rule. Trust me, you sure the fuck don’t want ceasus ruling.

Here’s what I do. I help out ever country that is willing to really listen. I try to give the military good advice. But they are stuck in a world where they turn on the TV and everything has changed. It’s all based on the walton's to them.

The above them is me. I hover there. Ever heard of reign. Lie old people they’ll say reign like it’s a vote to keep younger people out of it. In the real world I had to reign for about five minutes in Montreal. That made me create A.I.D.S. It was fun.

Then they came up with a story about a.i.d.s. and monkeys and black men in Africa in the seventies. I have no idea how anybody could believe that.

Note the use of black people. Note how black people do videos that make them selves look like some new species cow. Never have I seen anything as gross. Like a bunch of people milking their mans cow udder while they make life to expensive for everybody else. So they can drive by tina from the mall and yell something from the sixties.

Often and occurring to most US military advisors when I listen to that music. I feel the same. Like it’s back in the sixties and I’m yelling at Tina, Barbie or Bettie. I don’t know I really don’t know what I’d be yelling.

Now we know for a fact it reigns around here almost all the fucken time. It’s non-stop. Now most of that is about me and personal injury. But where else does it reign. Those places too. So what is it. Do I give up go home, runa round like some homeless man. Too scared to, well I don’t know.

Anyway death is death. So if your out-there and you hear this and you think I mean what You think I mean. Please be patient while my wife and I walk the monkey walk a little.

I know it’s awful and it’s all going down, but really what really do these people have to turn to to tell them what is going on. The TV, the phone, pictures. I mean fuck the thing might not look the same when you get their.

Anyway that is about it for today.

Why do some people Suck.

Well why can’t you be famous. Here’s the thing. You know how some people are very good singers and all that. Actors, writers, hairdressers, painters. Etc. You aren’t. That’s the plane simple truth. You know how you might think you wont take the money etc. All quite believable. Well the worst part id you suck. Most people spend about 30 years before they even go for a big break.

So unless you have about a million or two dollars and want to send this country into hell. I don’t suggest you try for a pop album. I suggest you try something underground. Like you could work with a band for years before even trying to do an album. Stuff like that.

Me I’m a lousy actor. I stink. I knew that from long ago. I can do the life thing but when it comes to acting I blow.

And their kids will too. I hope that isn’t too much concern. Because when it comes right down to it. Who is a great director or recording studio going to choose. A person who just had a thirteenth birthday who needs a new album to fit in. Or a guy who worked his whole life and tried really hard to make that one final chance. Who do you think is going to give the better performance.

Well I don’t know why I went on about that. I’m doing good I was reliving old times last night. Kind-a stayed up kind-a late. I think I might go watch a guy I call a friend play his voice at a club this week. I don’t know though. I’m a little low on cash. I could always bum though. People were very nice. Most of the people who got free cars for giving me a dollar, left their clan hoods in the car.

Funny though, you just don’t know what it’s like to be God till you wonder about stuff like that and a poster from 1984 turns to that of a dead girl. It’s all connected.

What am I? Cool, I’m cool. If you’ve ever seen this movie pulp fiction, there is this guy who has been Beeped over by "the man". This guy comes up behind him and says, "Are you okay!?"

He goes, "Far from okay!". Right them I knew I was God. "I’m gong to get medieval on his ass." If you knew me at all. I’ve got UFO, terminator 4 videos. I’m going going. All I need is for people to stop telling me to stop. Or less people willing to do such a thing. Because If I’m "getting okay." I know a few people who are far from okay. Maybe they didn’t see the movie, or understand the principal. The point is though. When we are okay, well it’s never okay. That is why there is the sun. Because and, we’re going to do things to them. Fast, slow, nothing, and painful. You ain’t seen pain. I hope your in a lot of pain right now. Who ever the fuck you where.

I hope your dead. Oh and thanks, whatever it was that made you do that. I appreciate that. I know it must tie into a want or desire of mine. In the present or the future. Never the past. I hope that is okay. I know it sounds bad. Someone blew off your head so I could get a better peace of toast or a pie or whatever. That’s just he way life is though. It works that way. If I want something I’ll get it. You know it should wake me up to old wants sometimes to see if I still want them too. Maybe we’ll have to see.

I hope I don’t want anything too mind bending though. I live in a box. I own what most people consider next to nothing. I mean I’ve got my chips and from time to time I can afford a pop. But that’s okay. That’s the life they chose for me. I’m going to have the life I chose for myself though. If that’s not enough. For all of this planet, and everything, almost on it. Than too hell with you. I think of something else.

I Care.

I care. Know I’m writing at a stupid time and I’m probably going to bring down part of the earth to get this done. I care about my friends. My thoughts my feelings, my timing and my caring. I’m a "carey" beast. I’m a person right out of sesame street. That’s old school sesame street.

Of course I always assumed God lived on sesame street too. How else would they do it. Would Oscar kill the people in tat house. So he didn’t have to stay outside. Why didn’t they turn-over the corner store that Mr. Hooper used to run. They didn’t all seem to like him.

Because God lived there. That’s the way I figured it when I was a kid. I mean even to the side things, were they would talk about why we had to learn numbers. And they had the guys who loved to count. Then their were guys that seemed to like language a lot. They had people who were with people. Like the real world. Then they had people who would talk to Muppets. Like it was on, well that TV show. I really liked that show. I never really liked math, but I always loved the count and did pretty good in math. Real good in fact. Remember to me that how they used to say, "all french," to me.

Anyway, I see a lot of show like that. I wonder now about my friend named Stephanie. He did try to be my friend that is for sure. We had our problems. He never believed in God. I have to laugh. He must think we were nuts. I’m talking about the Muppets, and sesame street. And going on abut Highlander, hellraiser. All these cool movies. He must have really been quite bore the middle twenty years of my past years life.

Anyway, I’m sorry that’s all there was. Cause right there from every thing from vigilantes, to you would swear tag team countries trying to kill me. There would be these people who wanted me to see their sons, daughters. Some wanted to thank me for healing them. Financial some. Just a card others. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get in and out of the christmas wish foundation. Maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown in the hospital. They think for myself. After all the talk about sesame street etc. You never know.

Anyway it’s more about the number of people who want me dead. The weirdest, or dumbest to be truthful. Is they want to kill death to end death for everybody. Now that person is how should we say, from back in the eighties "fucked up!"

Anyway. If you owe me some thanks. I appreciate it. I think that’s cool. I did say we were being in heaven though. And if that includes healing your kids to grand-old-parents, so be it. I’m laughing. You know if I could just get a few people to go with me on this I’m going to meet my real true love. I mean opposite sex wise.

So that is what I mean. Of course if you’re a tears in your beer person. When I say this next part about leaving our who’s behind. That I do not mean that part about your tears in your beer part.

I’m starting to go on about myself again. It’s funny about that art about not talking about myself much. Oh yeah I think she’s, the opposite sex woman, is going to pass me by again. I think it’s because, now get this. I’m not good enough for her.

Myself though. Oh yeah I think if this girl, I use that word for older people who look young, mostly. If this girl, thinks that magic was my first true love. Let me tell you a tale from before the very beginning. A tale about how I fell in love with God.

I was sitting on a block and I saw myself there. It was so cool. You know how people, mostly me talk about miracles and all that. Well this really stood out. There I was sitting there. Across from me at food bank in Montreal. I could see that I was about to give up. That’s it for me. That is the end. That sort of thing.

I saw myself there and puffed my chest out like everything was going great in the future I thought. Anyway I went back home. And I was in my lab. Real science bottles and glowing lighted mixtures, like in those old science movies when we thought they’d make cool stuff. I was going through these recipes. And then there was a Girl there a woman. And she told me that. Everything was okay. " I," meaning her, "would be okay."

And I thought to myself. I’m about to blow up the universe and she is telling me that that is okay. She’s down with it.

I couldn’t believe it. I had my cure videos, my thermos of things I’d never looked at. For the cold lonely nights that lay ahead, and I was ready to go.

And there she was, that’s okay, I’m ready go ahead. And I thought to myself, "who the fuck are you."

Meaning her.

I created this entire fucken universe. And your telling me to, no, that it’s okay to blow it the fuck up. I mean I couldn’t believe. People were all telling me what to do. It was driving me fucking crazy. And then when I’m about to blow the entire fucken universe over, and start over. In comes this bitch and says, oh and blow the universe up to. I laughed I even I started to giggle, a mans giggle, then I started to laugh. I couldn’t fucken believe it. Now my memory of this is cloudy. But I fell in love.

I can’t believe it today. Falling in love with that. I mean I’ve seen beauties heard the call of love. But hat seems pretty minor compared to what some people, mostly guys have heard.

This is in this life I’m leading though. At the time I was at. I thought to myself. That’s it that’s her I’m in love.

And do you know what. It wasn’t the stupid little thing she’d said. It was me back on earth. Getting my wits back. I was thinking about my woman. Everybody had one. I know I’m God I must have one for sure. I mean I designed the fucken thing. Sure enough. Days turned into months and months, well over a year, I’m sure of that. I never found her though. Never ran into her.

In all that time. Year after year. In Montreal, you would think in a city that big. You could find "a" right woman. That’s when I started thinking more and more about it. The right woman. Sure though, but that’s altered all the time and changes with divorce and all that stuff, surely one of these,, heh heh ever so many single woman. The right one for me.

Then I knew though. The really real horror equation. That even amongst all that altering and changes. It really was a right person equation. I mean it dude. Have you heard of horror. Listen to me. I could see it clear as day. The right person was the right person. Is going to happen, no way around it. Nothing that would make anything else last. And the true horror, or scare-em that I saw was that some people had waited. Let’s just say One hundred and twenty years.

That’s some pretty crazy talk.

But here I am years single. And you know I’ve had sex with fewer partners than some of you might think. It’s been okay. But I take half the blame. For one, I’m a founding member, of I’m sexy and I can’t admit that to myself alcoholics. I take the fact that I created the universe, too lightly. I’m seldom without female companionship. My friends love me. I saw a guy checking me out the other day, and I think the only reason he’s been hesitating about coming over to my table is he thinks it may require outdoor crying.

I know what he’s talking about. I might be thinking the same thing. Also if I’m right and this feeling of being close to being close with this girl is right. Than I’m not sure were my friendships lie. Of course I’m not twelve so I’m not dealing with some sort of judgment disguised as anything else conflictual party reception. Or any of those "faggy" things. I know some people who would love some stuff like that. Me I’d love to be there for them "in spades" if it was happening.

So I’m an individual. I’ve roomed the pre-universe land, some times in search of something stable. Something normal to cling to. If this is the place, than she ain’t to bad. I care for her this universe and all that. I’m freaked by things like magic and lighting. All that. Don’t get me started on being able to lift my feet of the floor. Only from time to time so far though.

But my one true love. And I know this is sad. Like I’m making it up. Like I’m going to say that girl I thought of, who helped to save the universe. But the truth is. Boobs. Real honest to goodness boobs. And you might think this is silly. Like something stupid God would say for a laugh. The truth is though, you’ve got to wonder about the mean evil people out there. The ones that smash young girls boobs so they have to grow them back. Maybe they know something that you don’t or didn’t maybe it’s like an instinct with them.

Don’t let the accidents fool you. I loved Boobs. Then I should let you know there were other things. Things like people really would thank me. Not druggers or stoners. Thanks for the healing type people.

I care man. That’s what’s cool about me. I care. And maybe the right woman with me will realize that. If we’re together and I’m staring at the girl walking down the roads ass. There really only a few ways to tell if I’m looking at it or making sure her legs heeled properly from what I did last night or before. She’ll have to ask, because I really don’t physically look at these things too differently.

Hi heh, heh, hah ha ha ha.

I had to give myself an elmo hug.

Well.

Why do women like me. Humm-a let me think of an answer. I can think of many. The biggest thing is they have a huge advantage. I like women on average more than men. It’s true. Not by as much as you might think though. Men are cool, fun to hang with. It’s funny though, I’ve tried to hang with people I’ve known with a girlfriend and they just, we just. Because they weren’t dating. Looking back I think they were trying to indoctrinate me into some sort of kill-to-live society.

The funny part about that though, is most of them got so wasted that they forgot all about that and went on to well. Do almost normal things with their lives. Still killers though. Not good. I wonder about that Kathy person. The overly happy family. The way the sisters had to live close to her bedroom. Like she was the master. Sort of like a buffy the vampire slayer episode. Anyway. She didn’t like people too much. Once she got used to hanging out with people she never really liked hanging out with me much.

I think she was like that Stephanie kid. Maybe she just never got sesame street and had to learn why people don’t go around just taking what the fuck ever they want.

I think she almost told me once what she did as a young child. I wish she did. We’d probably still be fucking right now. Odds are we would. I mean we never stopped. Then I realized that was because we hardly ever saw each other. Only two days a week, three if there was a holiday, long weekend. Or maybe during the week. If I could figure a way off work or there and back without totally wiping myself out.

I can’t get into how many times I almost wiped out or died driving the highway that much. Fuck, transport trucks, falling asleep, not too much, snow storms. You ever drive so slow you though you and all the other cars had stopped to get a drink at the side of your cars. But your still there driving. A one hour, nudge nudge, drive turned into five six, all the time you’ll spend together dwindling away. Till finally your there, passed out. Any non-God would be frazzled. And you have to drive out the next day to get to work.

Fuck those were good times. Except. There were a lot of excepts.

Anyway. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in this "Television, commercial" for helping "kids" who’ve done wrong. I mean accidents sure. I can see that fucking the young, non-God right up. Nothing like it. It’s fucked. You hear all these stories about what death is like. And then you turn a corner or throw something down the stairs and your brother or sister isn’t there anymore.

Funny thing though. Am I winning or losing for having those people around. Some of them seem like good friends.

People I’ve hung with would laugh, "I’m a close person. A person who is easy to approach with any new topic. I like to be disturbed form my thinking. I care about others. I’m a (human mind) "good" thinker.

I can’t think of anymore absolutely humorous things right off the top of my head. But I’ll try. Now these are untruths that should appear funny to those that know me or have tried to know me. I have sympathy for nuns. I enjoy having all these different religions fighting over which one… I don’t know, "has the right God!?" I get a kick, a mild one out of fire crackers. The more useless super-terrific-things in life are, the more I think they should be dis-intergrated from the face of the earth never to return.

(okay to get that last one, you might wan tot know this about me. If I see something without meaning and I haven’t for a long time. I can usually come up with something on my own to remind me to turn my head a away or start walking again. The gravitational pull of the earth alone will eventually remind me that I’m not really in pre-earth times and that I could move on and maybe see something else with non-meaning in the future, down the road.

To continue with my anti-humour. I feel I care about other peoples death too much, too little, never enough, too often. I’m concerned about the shape, length and diameter of my weewea. I really care what happens to woman and families that refer to themselves or their daughters as "an other candidate".

I’m concerned about the ozone.

I could go on and on. These a fucked up things. You know how people think different things about different things and that helps to make us different. Emotions actually. People feel differently about the emotions of people places and things and these differences makes us individuals.

But those things I mentioned are unemotional stupid things that people learn from other people or people on things. And well they seem to repeat them as code words, all the while unconcerned about the person with the crush behind them, that they don’t see or are unconcerned about. They repeat these things and we’re supposed to say, "hey that’s stupid," or you suck. Like their little magic suppositories that they can just put into their asses or brains. The male race. Yes here’s one more anti-humor. I’ve created the male race in an effort to provide devices to plug female orifices.

I know that sounds strange and true. But it could not be future from the truth. If your wondering to your self. Why have I created the universe. You might be thing about the parts about birthdays and stories to kids. And all that. That is like I said, relativity and a big part of being connected to God. But why. I know some why that is for sure. But his is about what. What is God. I know to you a lot will seem like why. Maybe more than when. But why did I create the universe.

My biggest thought on the topic, is so far. I haven’t met her yet. Maybe I met her and I don’t know she is her. Maybe she wont fucken tell me. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t. I sure the fuck wish she would. You know like a secret or a vow.

Why the universe, was created and her. Actually I think that is more shy the galaxy was created. And I’m talking about the metal one. Sure I was way off. A universe created of just me and metal. Metal-me. But what was the sex like. I mean we were all the same thing. 3000 earth years to form a cube. And then splat an almost flat, what would you call it. You know splat Like a sphere no shape. From a super cube to a sphere in 30 years. Fuck that’s fast. I suppose it seems that way. The truth is it is not fast 30 years or slow 300 years, it is just something that happened prior to this world we live on. A super terrific thing.

If you never got a sun tan, would you miss tanning in the sun. I mention that in case a human is out there or a thing, wining and going on about how important they "must certainly be" because I’m God. Poor sad tired God must have really missed all of us. Down here on earth. I don’t know what he fuck they are talking about. Earth is the biggest pile of funniness I’ve ever created.

I mean it. God’s being born. Let’s blow up half of France. And when the cops come to stop us we’ll kill everybody and tell them it was the government.

I’m going to wank off latter, and a volcano will go off probably near killing about thousand people. I told them not to go there about, I don’t know, A zillion times.

The wank that created Godzilla. Think about how ordered my life must seem to you before this earth. One idea then the next then the next. Over and over again.

Nahh I got to laugh. Slowly over time, I’m done everything I’ve ever done here. Sure there are miracles. But almost everything, say over 50, 000 years to be fair. I’ve been through.

I thought I’d know if it was worth it, that way. That turned out to be as I say, "not bright!" I’m in the middle of a rewrite right now. It’s just you can have your foot blown off and grow it back. But to do it again five hundred years from now. It’s just not the same. I guess I knew though. Knew something good was going to happen. I’d be the most important thing on earth. But not the everyday concern.

I’d care about everyone, but not really too much. I’d hate myself sometimes and kill other people for doing the same thing. I’d be me.

God. Super-God. Shit I hope they don’t expect me to fly. I’m just going to be me. Me me me.

The there’s this girl. She might come along and try t change me. What can I do t help. Sure the changes will be temporary. They always are. Like she might stretch me out and do strange things to my mind. Then I’m let go of these, horrible awful thoughts and come all over her face, arms hair. Where ever I can get the stuff.

I’m just saying it might happen. Will I feel the same afterward though. Or will I run away. Will I fear having to go to the bathroom afterwards or will I be able to do what I have to do.

Will she care or will it be on a dare. Maybe I’ll care too much and a little piece of me will destroy her, grab her by the hair in the bedroom so close to pain that she’d swear she couldn’t tell the difference till I touched her arm with my hand.

Light touching flesh. Being tight. With the woman you love. Isn’t that what love is all about. How emotional can a person be. I would think if our emotional reaction to things was the same we would have the same personalities. Maybe if for some hysterical reason we feel into the same emotional synchronistical orbit. Maybe we’d have the same emotional reaction to the stimulus at the same time for like twenty four hours. Till the pain of laughing drove us indoor. Where we lay in fright that it might end under-the-covers.

Under the covers with nothing but our minds and our wits to guide us into some things to keep us together in the morning when or emotions would be cured of the day that we feared would hold us in the past.

Some Things I’d Like To Say.

First off I’ll choose me. The funny thing is in real life I would probably choose to talk about her first. The Goddess. The why is a goddess about as important as God in some religions. And truthfully above the lowest emphasized in the lease emphasized religion.

But enough about here, let’s talk about me. I’m here thinking it though, watching my we’ll do it man , they wont be necessary video. It occurred to me that I might try to find out a bit more of what I have planned for my self during the what. First off I have a huge thing to change in all these things. I found out why people turn Evil along the way. So if it never happened and your staring at the enemies gun. Believe me bullets take a long time to heal from.

Anyway I’ve got these lives and they are out there. You see I like you are now, found out what my life was like, about, you know, during my who. It was cool. You see who I’m going to be is based on. Well It’s based on this crazy life I’ve got started. That’s right. Basically let’s say the galaxy to not be too literal. This galaxy is designed by me. So I know…. In the end of my designing what I’ll end up being. A stayer or a leaver. Anyway this design will help me to discover who. Which I’ve done. Now I’m finding out what. And what is fun. For me what is funner. Absolutely. If you agree that I designed the fucken thing. Then without doubt I will now start having more and more fun. The what for me will be about combining different lives I’ve had in the past. This in turn mixed with the design, of the "galaxy" should combine into making me into what I am. I’ve said it, so mote it be.

Now will I truly be what "I" the big barracuda, the bender mind intender really is. Not really. You see there is a "galaxy" out there and that galaxy is a tiny part of me. Now that tiny part of me will have to combine inside me at some point in order to be refreshed. That way it will not be evil. In order for a substance to maintain non evility it must return to the source in a t proportional to the affects of its squared roundness.

Roundness can be taken to mean the "exactitude of how much I like" the substances separateness from myself. Basically if you watch a creature or object do something so cool that it almost appears to shimmer. The shimmering is based on the number of times the creature or thing must return to God, inside me, to the exact location of the object, or approximate location of the creature. This is all the way it is now. At least until I’m done whating.

Anyway back to this Goddess thing. Why do people worship her so, Why do people think I‘m gay. The answer is tied in the same thing. For you see like most people I want the best for my goddess. You would say girl, woman. Dogs cats puppies all those things have there own names. Earth, water or steal etc. so on and so on infinite.

Well like I said the best. Not the most comfortable, or the most hommie, the most cool, or the best actor.

Now when I want something like a clean spring day. I go outside and if I self it right, I’ll have a nice clean spring day. Now if I was taking my goddess outside to have a spring day. I wouldn’t want a nice or a bad or a square or a stupid, spring day. I’d want the best.

Maybe I’m talking to my weather self and I’m going has she seen the one with the cloud you know the one with the spae in just he right spot, or the one with the shower and we have a place to go to. The best. I would want he best for me. Truthfully for myself I could be more fair. I think I’m drifting towards being nice to myself. Like I said in the plan. I’m in recovery. Well that’s right I think life is fair to myself. Or it sure the fuck should be. Anyway so when I’m with my wife or getting ready to get with her. I like anyone else want to give her the best. So how does this affect the gallexy everything in it and yourself while making me look gay.

You see when the possibility of us getting together draws close. There is a movement of the usual force that guides the wise. It begins to double. All of a sudden there is a force to providing the best for her. Just as strong eventually as the one for myself.

So basically you’ll see places she might go to as different. Becoming the best. I can not over emphasize enough how her life is not about being the best version of what hollywood true money lives better is. I think that world sucks.

But you will see a difference. I guess I can see why some people wouldn’t like her the "galaxy" moves for two now not one.

Some people enjoy pleasing a woman more than a man. It’s that fucken simple. So I guess I can see why you might enjoy the thought of me being with someone more than even myself.

I’m giving some stuff up. Like any person in any relationship, I’ll be giving stuff up. And that’s okay by me. I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I’ll use my imagination about what life could have been like before we ever got together.

The coolest places to be for me are going to be the ones where we are both together. Those places for me will rock. We are the bestest and the fairest. Hanging out together.

So you see if your thinking, like a real person in a real world, hey I’m putting a thing together and it feels like I’m doing it for God but the thing I’m putting together is feminine. It’s because you are doing it for me, for her. You see, it’s nice there is this little time delay before it really set’s. Some things are worth redoing. If you look back any story I tell her. (if you haven’t guessed I’m a story freak) Any story I tell her will include me telling her the story so there is even probably a masculine and feminine divine thought to it as well.

You know it’s so nice to get this into words. I feel so much better about a lot of things. It’s very hard to get used to people who you know and trust always wondering if your gay, or a half/man half/elk or something.

I know I have to laugh.

Anyway so that is it. The whole Goddess thing is based on yes things are just as good for her in away, not what she thinks is best. You run into a girl who is claiming that it is what she thinks is best. Shoot her. I’m no forgiveness machine. You’ve really deiced to be the bad guy during all this don’t think you can suck my squalonge and have everything okay.

You do however get the huge Goddess thing. I mean man, if your, say a person, who doesn’t really enjoy this male universe thing, the whole things going to seem quite male and female pretty soon. Even with the time delay on the female side. That’s what makes it feminine.

I think that’s neat really when you look at it. Maybe I am just a product of this universe. I know usually you’d swear I could bust the local equivalent of a boulder over my head. Yet in this world I’m so close to human. It was a scary part of who. Trying to be what in a way really. It’s definitely me to help myself. But who for me was more about what God is. Not what yeeyoh is. Finding out what God is was finding out who I am. Just like finding out who you are will be like finding out your God. I think that is true. When you truly know who you are it will be as cool for you as when I’ve known I was God.

Actually, I’ve got so many actualities going on that there are far too many to write.

Finding out what Yeeyoh is is going to be far more interesting for me. YOU see ever since this concept of something separate from myself existed. I’ve been obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it. There must be a thing that I’m trying to do that will make al the mistakes and thoughts and fears and fuck ups worth it. Like all the cool stuff we have today. What I think is nifair and what I think is best. So here we are. I will now attempt to be what right here on planet earth in an attempt to make the "galaxy" a permanent thing.

This may take more than a week. I have to laugh, "is it in the original design?" No not really. The original design included me dying in a blaze of glory on a cross. I don’t know though. I think it was the shit or the piss though. Something about taking what was good and then shitting or pissing out the rest.

I’d have to do more research.

Well, there are a couple of other notes that I should make about the female and me. First. I’m a cave man. I like to be clubbed over the head taken home and made love too. That woman should be the woman I end up with. There said it. Anyway I should also like to say how she’s Unique. You know how being unique was fun, when you young and stuff. And then all of a sudden you here Brian, half of you didn’t even know I was God then. Remember that was what who was all about then as well. Well, anyway, there you are as unique as fuck and I Brian go yelling about Individuality. Then you all become individuals and do you as I’ve said, stare at yourself till you make a mockery of yourself. Or do you go I was a pretty cool unique person now I’m going to be a pretty individual unique person.

You know how we in the eastern hemoshpere, north and south america. And that crazy thing down south. We have our robot times. Well her’s is being Unique. I know it seems strange, like you thought you had one of those home kids, because he was into the feminine side of the force thing. Back in the eighties. Then it turns out that he wasn’t gay it was just that unique people get way more into doing that feminine crap anyway.

Anyway me in love with a unique person. Who would of thought. She’d have to be her. Who else. In this crazy mixed up world the oldest person I can think of off the tip of my head who is unique, living and not the one. Is about 300 years old.

secret. We’ll call them the late catholics. Anyway so my guess as of this writing is as good as anybodies. Also it’s holding up the teleporting crap and all that as well.

Me not know. Which I do. But not here. Unless you know, it’s an emergency.

Of course I could go on and on about what I don’t like. Which I love to do sometimes, but to say the need for some sort of joy in the world is of a deep and penetrating nature is an understatement.

Anyway if anybody is trying to get the flow gong in there life and they don’t know what they are doing. Here is the deal… say there are about forty two little pleasure principals that you have to hit. Now each of these pleasure principals are very important. Not just for me and her. For you at least. Anyway. If for some reason you don’t like say the lower prices. Well there you go all those other ones will never be quite right. They’ll always be sort-a wrong.

That’s just the way it is. Its like mono-thermanucli-aro-dynamics. Sure we could here what the professor and all those other people have to say on the topic. But instead we could wait till it’s the easiest thing in the world and enjoy the thing that what ever the thing is that we get to enjoy by or from any body but me knowing what that is.

Back to the flow this though. Do you get what I’m saying. There are things in this Universe meant to change. And things in this universe that are not. Like a tree will grow different fruit. If we don’t starve during the process from one edible fruit to the next. Animals grow way different. That’s the that on that. But People we look the same. We have a primal design. We’re built like the metal galaxy, the light bulb galaxy. We are meant to survive the destruction of this universe. That’s quick judgment though. Ever see a disaster movie. Woman and children first. How your going to fit into a different dimension don’t get me started.

Okay so like those rules those waked out crazy God wrote them ain’t nobody but God supposed to fuck with them. Those rules are involved with the flow thing. Spring rains and cars driving by care too. Well those rules, those rules will not allow my best for her and fair for me to occur. Sure I had a great time, sure it was great. But would I go back. Would I spend my money there.

I fucken hate the her best people. If they are too stupid to clue into the fact that we are talking about God here. Well fuck’em what used to take 63 years. Is now becoming forty three etc.

Sure you look at the ass on that 300 year old blind chick and tell me if you wouldn’t pause a minute before shoving her off into the category of shit disturbers. They want some shit to though in the fan. Then it get in the air and we end up breathing and almost eating shit, instead of shitting it out.

Ohh yeah, three years, two years, …. Hah hah ha!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah but that is about it. What isn’t who, it’s what, like the materiel, the imagination. The need to create. The desire to create things that create. The imagination. The hypyr-vision. The thought waves the growl.

Unique. Yeah she’s unique. What is unique. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. She’s still finding out who. Unique I always loved unique people. Easier to tell I was God. If you knew how many people crawled around me trying to find out, "why are you so different". It makes the number of countries and almost countries I was talking about earlier. Well, like more. There were more of the let’s call them, "the beetle people".

And well the flow and how it’s affected by this unique being. It must be cool to know God loves you. Your like. Well your liked loved by God. Most of his friends are pretty doped up when it comes to this one person thing. And the rest of the people want to kill you a little more than God. Not way more mind you. But a little more.

Don’t worry I get my spirit during what.

Ohh yeah I’m not summing up the what will continue I will continue it’s going to continue. I’m the continuer. The one who’s is continuing while I’m continuing about continuing.

Ohh And I just time traveled when no one was looking and if you hate me for it I hope you burn in hell. Ha ha ha ha.

I Know I Haven’t Titled In A While

Well, here we are the great work. The straight man the strange man and I know I am that man. The be all end all, man. The man, A man. A man amongst any men. This is my fate. The fated fate. The end of destiny and the beginning of Destiny. The zame the end is the beginning the how long can you keep wring man. I’m done, I guess……. Sure I could go on about how I love you and you love me. And all that. But that would be silly. That would be uncool. That would be the greatest thing I could do.

I’m going to take some time to my self. Get my computer in order. Redo some pictures ahead of time. And get back to you, which is me. Oh did I mention that. We, meaning you are all inside of me. AM I actually ever inside myself. I’ll have to get back to you one that. I also have to get around to explaining that all the plants, trees rocks all in their proportion are inside of me. Don’t worry I don’t think the humans, will be able to take us out. We are strong, we are veggie.

Hi How Are You Today.

I’m writing in reply to the resent notice that I might only be pretending to be "The King Of Israel" Now I know. I just heard that too. Isn’t strange that people who think that they would never "sell out" are trying t get me to think that those gang names where all a joke.

Now weather I was ever in a gang is technically weirder than you might think. They don’t actually all meet like a young person might wonder. They do things like masturbate in the same place and smell each others sperm to see if the person before them was the right person. And those are the straight guys.

Anyway I wasn’t really. I mean I’m a nice guy when I have a smoke and stuff, but remember you might be taking that smoke away from some one I care about. And so on etc. etc.

Anyway you should see the guys I hang out with in that world of not quite always all persons meeting. There’s guys there that, well I don’t know I’ve met a couple that they couldn’t quite pull of you can "surely sit the fuck down."

Stuff like that. I met a guy once who proved I was God. For one thing about to go APB hog shit wild all over the air waves. But I decline to say what "his" day job is.

Anyway. Real fun in the real world. I always come across as the guy who’s getting himself killed. I always salute, the I’m not into not getting you killed as much as that people. I think it is them above all others that make me care about the people I care about. Cause fuck man, you see a guy who can wrestle a alligator and he looks tired on a Friday. Well things are getting ruff.

It’s fun though. I enjoyed my fight in Toronto and all that. But I always enjoyed being the guy who just couldn’t fight. You know the funny guy. The "Bullet’s, smullets," guy. The guy who could just laugh that stuff off, if there wasn’t some guy trying to execute me with his "scope" all the next, ohh let’s just say three weeks. You know "hanging out."

Those were the days. This city makes hanging out look like some sort-a. I don’t know is it the lack of colour. Is it the fact that everybody around here worth caring about is so, (fuck, and darn come to mind) tired that they just can’t quite celebrate, the next day. Like in the big city.

Yes, I’d like to believe the big cities aren’t going to turn into a big cease pool during this but. The rich man comes in for vacation. He’s got cash. The guy at the counter wants to sell pop for the right price. Can he though, can he desert all his friends just to screw the guy over who loves his city so much he’s willing to go there on holidays.

I don’t know but it seems like that. First it’s an air raid siren. Then it’s the increase at beer prices at your favorite place. Then the homeless are very cordially rounded up and taken off the street. Next comes the stereo-typical suburban version of what fun is. Then it’s the guy with the strippers’ up the road. At this point in the holidays. He looks normal. And it just goes on until the local favorite "politician is getting a blowjob from a girl other than his wife. And he’s turning to me, God saying don’t worry my wife will forgive me because, I go that thing done you asked for.

And he thinks it’s about rounding up "terro-homeless white people" who are sheep or something.

Anyway, I have no intention to explain a world like that. But those gangs in the "wilds" smelling each others sperm. He’s what I call around here. "Fancy-sperm" he might not see it. But he ties all his decisions (if you want to call them that) based on the reputation of his party, or reign. If you wan to get into the fancy talk.

It’s him and the gangs or the gangs and him. Or "The gang" and there’ll all going hey. How was tommies year. And how was your year. Don’t worry next year will be better and all that. And it just keeps getting worst and worst.

The true politicians make great changes and they rock. And if there truly great they hate standing out, because standing out means the previous, one two or three and four. Politicians sucked. And their citizens deserve more.

Anyway back to the fun part. We love the citizens. Some of us have even loved them. My only panic on this is the fact that the Human, and I use this turn loosely. Actually ahs limits to the amount of "non-successful love" they can give… Before you just don’t give a fuck any more. Etc. etc.

Think about that when your trying to save that whore or who ever that is working the street. You know the only thing they ever said to me was. Your God, so you not really a man. So your alright. And I think she was lying to get me to open the door.

Anyway don’t get me started on the male fuck ups.

If I’m The King Of Israel. Is She The Queen.

I don’t know. Oh I was going to mention that I don’t plan on winning this Isreal thing overnight. It will take about ten years from the time I started this years fun. The coolest countries have probably given themselves about fifteen years.

I know when you live up hear life is so fucked. You just don’t know what it’s like.

How much what is my love for who. Ohh yeah we decided to cancel the whole spy loving me thing. It seems to cause the person to really want to fight for there country. Which is great but there are so many countries and they kind-a see something there. It’s not true but if they could make it true. U.S.A. might for example say that all the races are the greatest. That they are all needed to get things done, to be real, to be able to stay afloat in this world.

Of course they would want this. There country is the biggest melting pot. Of norms, hopefuls, weirdo’s, helpful helpers and craziness than anybody has ever seem.

You see they are wrong. Racism sucks even helpful racism. It’s just not good. I want to hang with the guys who are hanging. I want to be myself. They do to they just don’t want you to know who they are. Just like, are you ready, "any normal human being."

I don’t know maybe it’s well. This city is weird. If your into North/South america right into the bone and you love the creete thing. Your probably not going to love this city too much. The torque to my safety is so hi most days that it would send you up the wall.

Me too really. I mean I love it I like to know when it’s really really up there. Like now.

Okay here’s the problem. I’m supposed to be writing this book about what. Oh by the way I’m finished. And then along comes the thought of the girl. Ever hear of a band, everything but the girl. Well that is about how most of my life feels. I’m the type of guy. Well, you toast is burned. You either pick up a couple of new pieces, or you scrape off the burned part. And that is that. No mocking the toast. No making fun of it. It’s just sad. I mean I know deep down. I’m like having a three way conversation with the toast. It’s fun. But I don’t know I just can’t get into it on my own. It bugs me. And with the wrong person. Might as well put the soother in my mouth and I’ll just sit there and blink once in a while.

You know, "what you doing?" Not much. "How was your day?" "Not Bad."

You know dull. Dull people, who would have thought. Anyway, so I get talking about this girl. Like and now that is all that is on my mind. Not all my mind when I’m doing much of anything else. But at the same time when I go to write I wonder about her. Am I putting too much pressure on her. I mean I’m God. She’s got to be into that. Being God is what turned me onto this whole life thing to begin with. I mean you know. I loved being God, myself what ever. Hey let’s make something all that sort of thing.

But being God. Getting a grip on the fucker and really twisting my rule right screwed into it’s(the living, planet, you name its’) neck. Fuck that seemed like a good time.

I mean fuck, I’m God and what I’m doing should be important. That’s right life and death all day twenty four hours a day. I’m back, me they guy who wishes to fuck you would at least do something with your life, I mean you know like….

I’ll come up with something it’s my duty. Anyway back to this what thing. What will she make me like. What will she make me do. Who’ll get killed because of it. How many people will become (the slave to coincidence). Everything is a result of here. Robot reporting for duty. I’m kidding. She better change me though. This whole thing is designed to change me. Have you guessed the program yet. This whole universe is designed to make me remember not to give up on things I’ve created.

I don’t how to put that more literally. It’s cool dude, no problem. I’ll get it done. I will not give up. Someone is gong to come along that wont sell out in the wrong country and then it will be getting done. I’m not concerned. I’m not giving up on getting things done in time. Eventually, we wont need your sorry ass for that project.

Anyway. I’m sure eventually it will work. I just hope it’s in this life time.

Last Night

Last night I got in a fight. And it was brutal. I’m not sure really what happened. Lot’s of drinking and fucking. But when it was all sorted out there was Je-sus everywhere. I’m not sure. I’m lifting one guys legs and then I’m throwing myself over there. And there’s all these beautiful women everywhere. I must have been hallucinating.

Right now there are cabs and cars out there. We’re not even sure if half these people are there in the city. This might be a city to city thing. I find it funny. I’m judging the enemy. No, no thanks, get the fuck out of here. No no thanks get the fuck out of here. So if your older and your dying I’m sorry your death might stand out a little. It’s the time of the year.

Remember this may sound odd, but historically in about a bizzion bizzion years times fifty. Hitler just turns out to be misunderstood. Should this happen I’ll be sure to take a cool shower and come into bed. Make love to the wife. Laugh at myself in the mirror, and find a way to make the most permanent thing in my life.

Hell, you got to love me. I’m funny. Anyway I should continue. On a latter note a few of the faceless masses should know that a couple of them are actually in padded psyche wards waiting till they are totally here. If they choose to stay then it would be my pleasure to make them an entire person. In a few maybe five years or so. I might even come up with a whole family history. You could say, I’m from New, nouveu, brunswick. My family used to fish and hunt up North. It was way back in 1962 or something.

I guess I didn’t get to go there much. My parents never talked about that time much. Must have been pretty bad. Anyway , no where not hillbillies. We had a car and as far as I know the guy up the road still has the swimming pool. Religious, well as far as I can tell they had the shit scared out of you by the age of six or so. I don’t know if they’re still like that though. Etc, etc.

Those are the greatest. You should try that if you live in the big city. The guy from there, the guy doing well. He’d probably suck your knob to here a story like that. I guess it’s the type of thing where if you don’t know people live normal somewhere,,, You’d just go nuts.

It’s funny though, I think when I moved to the big city, they thought I was from an alien ship or something.

What drugs are you on. It’s not that,, who wasn’t… Do you know that you just went off the floor and that those people are studding you to copy "you" me basically everything.. for movies and stuff like that.

"yeah, (this is over loud music.) yeah but if you could not mention it I’d really appreciate it. I’m trying to have a little fun before I die and I don’t think I could continue to come here if I get to aware of them and what they’re really like.

Reply, "Okay, I thought you should know, Oh by the way I hate them too. "aside to self,,,(spiritual bri maybe I should ask him why they are here….) I have a friend who is into you. But she isn’t,,, the right fucken word. Anyway if you see her…

Anyway the chick turns out to be a narc stirring up shit for the latest language fight. First there’s the little one. Everybody, heh heh goes. I guess that’s okay. Them comes the torrent right in the middle of summer.

You ever live up north, right in the middle of fucken summer.

Christ, the first time I was, up north, as a person. I’m standing there and this big building "breeze" is biting through my face. The air is about –30 celsus. And as we maritimers say when we’re in those spots. It’s a fucken dry cold. And some ass in on TV screaming about wind chill. Had he said deadly, had he said might die. In the summer, I know it’s fucken you might hear about the heat exhaustion…. Blah blah blah.

And I’m leaning into it and screaming inside. The fucken joy the fucken fun. If I don’t make it to the subway station around the place in thirty minutes I’m going to die. I mean fucken rocken. For once it’s out of their hands. Fuck dude it was great.

Then your standing at a bus stop. And these two fucken racists are looking at me grinning. That night it was about forty below and die fucken no wind and the last bus of the night. No card, no money on me. Card no bank machine I think.

Anyway they look at me are you in pain, is everything hell on you. There’s a homeless person at the bus stop. Probably hasn’t had a chance to help anybody in about 20 years. There’s a homeless person, let’s ask her if she wants to come back with us to get warm. Minus forty on cement with a winter coat. Good fucken luck. Anyway no. You can get the fuck out. Drop dead. Thanks lady. People wonder when I ditched these arse whole I left Saint John with. Especially mister Chris Armstrong and his help you when your down story. Fuck them. Too bad most of my friends around here are what I recently call repressed homo-sexuals. Had anyone spoke up beside. Mrs. Fucken help’em when he’s down Armstrong.

Anyway, I hope that ladies okay. I hope she’s got the husband the kid. And I hope he’s a fuck’en rock star at school.

Hi.

Hi, I know you thought I was going to go on about. Me, I’m the one, and the only one. The one that means the one and I am that one. I could be no other than that one. I’m super one. The one from when Time began. There could be no other one than the one that is me that is the one.

Yes I guess I could go on an on. About how repetitive it would be to go on and on, about how I am the one. But I would like to say a few words about being the only one. God that is.

Over the next "few days" hint hint. We are probably all going to go through a phase were everybody starts to say. He ain’t the one. There ain’t only one. The one is just the who or the what.

The punch line is that they probably think that I can not doing any when or where stuff. I mean really I know I can, I believe I can. But can you believe I can too. And maybe just maybe you’ll get a glimpse at who.

You see there are other people who feel they run this world. And the closer this get’s to being the kind of world I want to have. The more and more these "old time fucks" are going to come out of the wood work and try to convince you otherwise. They do this because the closer it get’s to the top in the end. The more stupid it will make you to believe that I do not run this earth.

You see it’s their little secret. They absolutely do not want you to believe that I rule this earth. The "stars the moon the whole fucken earth."

And for that reason and that reason alone they’ve tried to kill little Brian all my life. Well hey someday I felt like killing myself too. If you think they love living their little secret. They sure the fuck love those days. Sometimes it’s when I’m taking a shit. I’ll be all constipated and then I’ll want to die. Great pain, great pain. Whoo whoo whoo. And then it’s out and over with.

Funny, If you where to ask em this tomorrow I would laugh my head off at the fact that I’d want to talk about that. Then if I’m with the right chick and you bring it up. I hope your girlfriends near cause we’ll talk about it and then we’ll all laugh at you and hope you die.

Fuck and me I don’t have to worry about what I hope for.

Anyway I was in the can , talking to the Indian and black man about what it was like to have to use camel skin for hut’s instead of grandma’s and how they’s stupid but not like we don’t fuck up once in a while.

I looked over at the skull I have to keep change in and I said to myself. I bet a lot of people think all that prestuff right up to "life" had a lot to do with the creation of this universe. I have to laugh.

Sure a lot of those things are here. Eventually it all will be. Either out there or up there or in here. And I thought know. I had a lot of cool ideas. Like there are these guys who look like chess pieces and they like talk. But not like we do. They’re like the timeless ones, I call them. Not all those ideas just those guys. And they would say funny things that made me think. I would say ideas everytime I got them to give me a laugh, but it happens so fast you would swear that that they got me to laugh. Anyway they are a fucken riot. I still get a laugh when I see them. They killed me, in the end. Just kidding. Fuck fuck’en hilarious.

Anyway, One time there is this wall of brick wood and there is a water behind it. A very dark water. And I’m "walking" towards the wall. I’m about to do a "little investigating" real serious like and then walking right up behind me. The timeless ones. Ohh my fuck I’m turning and laugh thinking about about what goings on because I’m not just thinking from the laugh like I usually would be supposed to. Then latter like now I realize that I might not want to investigate everything about woman. I might not enjoy real ones as much when they are around.

Fuck I think that was funny. Used here this one. There is a bar in Montreal called foufouns electric. And I go in and it looks way different than I remember. I’m like. It used to be bigger and all that. All this basically is is where white people go to trade drugs.

Anyway as time went on it expanded to the point where it started to look like the one I used to go to before time. Then about the time when they put in the swimming pool. In the one I used to go to. The started putting this gym thing in. I was disappointed till one of the Girls. (That’s what they called them back then) I had a crush on. Put up this sign thing right in the middle of the night. She was like on the wall or a step ladder or something. And I thought. Wow, you like it. It can’t be all bad. Off course the place pretty much went hell after that. Of course those who don’t believe those things might wonder about how much got done in one year.

I mean I’ve heard of expansion but his place was nuts. Ha ha. Fuck it would have been fun if those timeless guys showed up. But bye then I’d killed them because I couldn’t think of anything to do with them.

Anyway….Humm-a Maybe Not.

It makes me tired to talk about the old days. Night day. "what up with dat!?" I loved life. I was in love with life. And then it occurred to me. I must kill everybody so I could make an earth. This was the greatest day ever. Of course it took time and planing. But I manage to have some fun along the way.. So I decided to do the same here. I’ve had my who. It wasn’t easy. But to say I lived it well. I kept having to come back here for.

I Am A Race Of One.

I am a race of one. I am not all in one place. It’s fun. Actually I am according to all the laws of physics, math, neutronium, philosophy. Off all the other things though. If I may quote the timinazong, "he ain’t all there." Which I hear here. It’s right fucked up. I love being me. I know I know the most important things to get down is the protect the body stuff. Then it’s on to the weird stuff. It will make you laugh it will make you think.

I know I sound weird for writing this stuff down. I do though. Remember the sealed chamber. Who do you think lives at the end of this. Those that just couldn’t quite be our friends. Or those that decided. "This is fuck-en God man, I’m in !!!"

I’ll tell you truthfully. If your not prepared to be my friend. You’ll be dead. There ain’t know way about it.. There is no time to change. If your having a child right now. I hope your happy. If your really really into such a scene. Then if you could wait a few years. Let'’ say 2005 or so. Then I would really appreciate it. Maybe your kid will to.

I hate dad kid. I really do. Right in the middle of world war three. Don’t go dropping a babie in on the scene. Wait it out. What’s a matter scared your going to stay young. I mean yeah I know people have to age… Right now a few people I’ve seen around for about ten years are begging to look, I don’t know a week to a month older. It’s frightening. I mean is this to be it. I’ll always be young, well twenty three that ain’t too bad. But if I was with the right woman. Don’t you think we’d find a way. I mean this earth is upset and it does need dead people. But maybe with the right woman. I would be okay. I could either, learn to live with myself and dump her when she started to look old. Or I could maybe make her look young and then play around with her little child mind when she came home tired. You know like men are supposed to.

What Is It Like To Be God.

Well, humm. The funny truth of the day. Is in the real world there are suburbans and psycho killers. I Love then both? No in the real world there are good psychokillers and good suburbans.

If one was to take a pie chart and show the amount of good psycho killers compared to the amount of good suburbans. Like if they all hung out the psycho killers and the suburbians. You would find that the good psycho killers and the good suburbans all out number the others.

Now which group has the highest percentage of good suburbans to good psycho killers. The psychokillers. They are on a mission. They have embraced life. As their psycho analysts though. Why do they come after me, and if that is true, how come I’ve never been killed by one. Often a bad psycho killer or a bad suburban will see something that makes them think God can help me. I think God alone can help me.

They might say what does he like. The suburban might open a shop, a diner or something. Someplace where people gather and they "chew the fat".

The psycho killer might want to do the same. The thought is as you’ve probably guessed. In The connection. Like I said earlier. What are you here for. Why is your life important to me, or me, or me. No matter what the mood I’m in. Well there you go the psychokiller might have a connection. Something they like. But it’s like the diner thing. I love diner things. They are like my Israel. The coolest of the cools. There all the time all over the world, and once in a while I go in. I have my breakfast. And I know that everything is okay.

So what does the psychokiller have to offer. Like I would have said "ham and eggs" and now said breakfast. The thing, the connection psychokillers offer me is Time. If you take the four bonds of marriage. I’d been going on about. Magic, natural magic,(I don’t know, don’t tell.), Let’s say Fung Shui, or What has happened to me, (Time). Everything I know that has happened to me is "Time".

What we consider time is just that and it is a bond of marriage. Very important to me. Is magic even in time, really. Is natural magic a part of time just as important. Is the blending of two lives, a blending that goes forever in time. Time. I’ve let some pretty fucked up things happen to me.

I am time. Now say that to yourself, if you’re here. "He is time". Being God is freaky, but the discovery of being time is freaky too. Everything that happens to me affects time. This has happened to me before. If you’ve ever heard stories about me being with friends and coming back all freaked out, from a walk on "the mountain."

It’s because, you know how you do stuff to me and I let it go… Something stopped me from telling them to stop because they would get hurt. Time. You see I’m God. I don’t forgive, forget, forgobble. But even if I wanted to tried real hard. It was a mistake, you know al that stuff. If I’ve been personal affected in anyway. It will come back to you. That means anything good, anything bad you do to the earth, air, moon stars, myself’s yourself. Me, myself in person. Any of those things that get back to me, passed out or otherwise. Have affected time.

Sorry to go on about that too much. But if you look at the forth really strong vow of marriage. It is just as strong and complicated. I saw a guy appear in a store, just to stop something that would affect his marriage, maybe ten, twenty years from now.

So who has the better life. Psychokillers, suburbans. I think it comes down to your vow of marriage vows. Of of of this is getting of. Magic, do you like that, you do stuff and you would swear people around you are doing stuff to get things done for you and then you get to see people appear and stuff. Natural magic. You look like your fucken dead or possessed sometimes then these people are like talking to you that haven’t said hi in a while.

Fung, shui. Where things around you seems like it has to be moved, "Once in a while." Until the other person comes along, and then it’s like there’re moving stuff too.

Yes in the real world you get to see furniture stores open and close, stuff like that.

Or Time. Me what happens to me affects your marriage. Yes it is a little more complicated than with another person. This that we do affect me. And things that are done to me. The only way, this is done directly, in a normal sane world. Affect me too.

There is also the fact that my marriage includes all four.

Well, that’s it I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m going to go on and on about my wife now.

The formal bows of marriage though. Fuck that is cool. All a person has to do to get with me, have magic vow, natural magic vow, Fung Shui vow, and Time, including affecting time directly.

Of course the diner I eat in affects me directly. The clothes I wear affects me directly. So to those other types of suburbans, those psycho killers. That are going to give me my earth. That are going to let people worship me. Etc. Those those that feel they can control magic, nature, fung shui, Time. I say "Good Fucken Luck." Because according to or research according to our reconnaissance. You be dead.

It’s funny. I’d love to own a shop during a fung shui experience. One minute your all setup things are going good. Next thing you know it’s like a storm. You’ve got to be somewhere. You’ve got to get things done. The storm is coming, or the "breeze that does not blow." And if your in the right place or out of there. Your screwed. Your gong to be the one sinking the ship. Someone has taken your place. There’s no reason to panic. You’ve missed the wave, abandon ship. You might come out alive. The shop that is. You didn’t do anything directly to poison or dissuade my brothers.

Life the big lie. If all I had to offer life. Maybe one person on this entire planet would take that. There is something very sexual about what I’m saying when your just lying there.

I have more to offer though..(I better be careful or she’s going to be all what instead of who. Heh heh heh. Maybe I wont be too hard to be with because I’m fucking God and it will balance out. And there is other stuff too.

But I do have more to offer people than just life. Trust me, If I don’t want you to be alive, I’m taking that gift back. Constantly as we speak, till the year 3000 if I have to. But there is other things than life. There is magic, and nature, real magic in nature. And there is Fung Shui. To avoid kung fu cutting each other when your making potatoes years latter.

And then there is Time, not God pursay keeping you together, who’s ta say. But Time it self. Over time and under time and did that sound nice and know why life ain’t fair. It’s the best I could do. And turning on the TV while I stand there glaring going I told you there is nothing Good on. And you’re the kidd being the kids who turned it on. And you better not pull a blow job on me or take one away after that. It could be the power plant. And I thought the Fung shui would work and it didn’t because the rooms to small and it turns out I thought you were in the now. And it me being stupid talking to you with my mind and I kiss you to make it up and it’s because I wanted the best for you. And without even knowing it you’ve made me feel like I’m the best. Cool. Because I’d never say that. I might think it. And then I’d realize your not in the now and we’d know each there so well. It would all work out. And even if hell itself. Pretend hell. Was to occur. I’d still kiss you and you would leave me, because we’d be like, kill them all and let God sort it out. And like no one would come alone with there fucken Napalm. Dish deodorant to seal in the death. And those fuckers would be dead.

I think I should get this down, before I go to far in this book. If you need me. Separate from you not mathematically the same. Not earth ingredients the same. Not from the same pod. Philosophically I might wonder about.

But some people might wonder about. Have you ever seen the guys who can protect their kids. Like there is a storm in the rain on TV or anything like that. The grab the kids and run away before the lightening get there. You see there is a difference between a lightening storm and just a rain storm. I always liked the run into the house and then back out when the sun comes out sort of approach.

Anyway, as the the sun shines in the sky and I have a pretty good idea where the trees are in the ground. There is a pattern to this universe. Like tree roots growing up though the ground. The ground and the tree, "agree" that this will take place. The process will require both the earth to open, let’s say, and the roots to enter the deeps of the earth even more. This is the way it is. Some people live their lives that way. Is this what I mean by natural magic. If your thinking your the only one who can get there kid out of the lightening storm along the way. You’ve lost your way along the way.

So I guess technically once again, people who follow God aren’t worried that their father is some evil bastard trying to kill them. While on the other hand those that are are hopefully all okay and ready to get back in there. and everything will be okay in the morning. Or the next morning. New world. Pretty much the same. Not much different. What are they going on about.

Enough about you though. This is my Book. I’m God and this is what and I’m trying to find out what. About myself. I don’t like to be convinced that I’m not God. Remember I found out a lot about what you call what God is and all that along the way as well. And I really don’t like to be told I’m not what God is, or when people get way off base about what God is. I’m finding out what. And that may sound like how I make a decision, or who gets to live or die. But what is more about what I am. I know we live in math, and science, and the laws of physics and stuff. "That’s all cool and the gang." But what am I. What am I made of. Like I said. Really by the end of what. I’m not sure I’ll be built in Time. What am I. Yeah I can see that. That is a great who. I’ve traveled the universe. Stuff like that. Mostly the Fung shui’ers. How the fuck did that happen… Magic. Natural magic, natural selection. The species meeting down to the very fiber of this f-ing thing this time. When I say I’m a Masculine straight God. It does mean I don’t like. Any man, or women who are into women. Staring at me so much they are seeing my let’s say graph/graft or fiber of my being. But is going to take time for the enemy to stop doing.

Time what do the what my being has experienced people talk about. We’ll everything from "Star trek" to how "I" teleported into that store. Bone’s reporting, "If I have to do that again. You can rip out my skull if it makes you feel better" They talk about stuff like that.

Doesn’t mean your going to die if you kiss a tree. Doesn’t mean your going to drown if you moved a store into a place you two don’t go to. Doesn’t mean if you tell a guy that "Q sucked his knob." Your going to die. Magic. Don’t fuck with the magic. I’ll give you a clue. If all I said before means God can take a Joke and we all have our moments and sometimes I get angry over something I couldn’t do myself. It especially means don’t fuck with the magic. Magic people, magic things. Two separate things. You ever heard of stop playing God. Never on your life in a million fucken years fuck with the Magic. People who claim to be part of magic,,, I’d like to know how. Never even bother with them. They are too fucked up. I can definitely see being a person going, "I’m a crystal, I’m a crystal" all sorts of things like that. Some are outright hilarious. Anyway it’s a thing like staring at my uterus or something. You might come out alive.

The Closeing Of The End

Yes, I’m drawing near to the end of this book. I’d just like to say that I started doing this for something to do before it would be safe for my bride and me to get together. If you could take the thought of heading towards the right girl makes your life better. Or heading towards the wrong girl makes your life worst, then this is definitely the right girl. I mean I’ve never had such an easy time writing a book. I’m digging it.

Right now in Saint John, there is so much going on. Cereal killers off to the left. Rapist and lunatics visiting and being judged everyday. As far as fun and good times go. There is a bar. I think a secret lesbian, lair where they lay their traps by setting up males to, take the fall, in front of their mindless Home-wives.

Yes I can see their plan so easily. Like I can start to see mine. Oh be the way if you’re a friend and all. Don’t try and rush too much through this book. I’m not in a hurry to get to the when. And these are, not mostly, very not mostly, expressions the when and the where and all that. I mean if you have something in the past you have to change or something like that. Don’t think rushing is going to help.

Also, maybe once this sets in we’ll all enjoy a little rest.

Right now there is a war on American television. Troops paraded across the screen. Soon, there will probably be troops that died in the gulf and other wars right there on the TV. Years latter they where going to fight for something. Nothing in there world has changed. They still look for a world with invisible walls.

You want to give me money for something, "no strings attached", fine. No problem. I might even give you an autograph. Someone got one the other day. I wont say who but their friends could sure learn some manners.

Hey I just thought of a even more summation way of saying, or writing the commands. People without manners don’t matter. I mean that scientifically of course.

Like I was saying though, if your out there and you wan to pay me for some miracle or favor. Have already passed the don’t pay the church test. Don’t look for someone else wounds to un-heel. I’ll take it out of your ass instead.

The only thing I ask is that you. A, very important, don’t pay some ex-cereal killer rapist/chicken fucker, to come in here and give me a cigarette.

Happens every day. Jesus, I know Jesus, Then it’s off to the races, or where ever else those people go. Haven’t seen a dime yet, not a scratch.

As I’ve mentioned, the local zone is also crawling with every-type of crook, asshole and racial-stereotype the world would imagine.

You might think they are all after me, no. There were hoping to turn Saint John and New York, into well. A lawless zone, I guess. You know a place for crooks to go when the heat was on, that sort of thing. If you’ve ever stalked a cereal killer or tried to prevent what I sometimes refer to as, "a long haul hustler." (They don’t do bold criminal activity, then are used for a killing or mass murder, some are retired and some are retired.) Then you know that places like this are as resting places for the criminals, a place where they can come to take off running factor. My local nut house is a good example. That place has been taken over I couldn’t tell you how many times. Always with the same result. They begin behaving like the people who used to work there before. It’s in the walls as they same.

And then of course the long haul hustlers are there as well, trying to learn to blend in. The funny part is there trying to blend in with a bunch of hardcore criminals. Good practice. But that is what they try to do.

I imagine, New York must look like every hardcore criminal, every international leader killer that is still living, is walking around going yeah we got them.

If they got away with so much, how come they have to be so stoned. How come they, they can’t live with themselves, How come they have to come here and go there to hide. What’s a matter did you join the wrong side.

Yeah, so like I said, this city is way to dangerous, for ma and pa, to come breezing though to pay me for anything. But if you feel like it cut out the middle man. That includes, no phoning my bank. I might decide to use how you know what bank I have I a court of law. No phoning my folks or family matters. Telling them how to live. The list goes on, it also includes not phone my government, any branches of the military, or police departments. All these are viewed as an attempt to have "real men" fall into your stereo-typical born again view of what I am. I am not your new television monetary "Love-desiple".

Take your cash enjoy your summer holidays and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

On a personal note I think I killed someones hitman today. Sorry about that but I don’t take being stalked lightly. I think they wan to be near death or something, look, if you knew how small a part of my life death is. I think a lot of those people would lose their fascination with me.

In a life time of maybe a billion years. Death will eventually be one second of it.

What A Citizen Should Know

Well for one thing, I’ve taken over. No all your governments pensions etc didn’t disappear. But I’m sick of it. This need for me to have a day Job, well paying or otherwise. Is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard of in my life. That is why I made you all half evil to begin with. I’m sorry for anybody who got caught in the cross fire. Myself included. It’s stupid though and I’m not putting up with it.

The local crazies and killers aren’t weren’t really zoning in on death, even though they do it more and more everyday. I think many of them get a kick out of people disappearing when the distance between us grow too long.

Anyway the people who send them around and ship them are probably hoping just for the place to rest and learn. They’re actually hoping I’ll move soon so they can make fun of many things. Personally they like to have me in a city like Montreal where they can make fun of me, as a failure for not joining their kill and steal for a living "economy". As they make fun of global governments for making God have a day job. The part about what they are making fun of government for is funny. All they offered me was jobs and lifestyles that would take more time than any day job I’ve ever thought of.

So the both of them, the wrong side and the right side offered me day Jobs anything, but stop being God. Funny more and more citizens don’t want to put up with it.

I can’t blame them though. I lost any thought that government, global or otherwise would work out long ago. Truthfully. With what I know, I can over no faith, that the government of this country or any other country is going to do anything for me for being God.

I’ll probably end up getting a day job eventually. Only when I’m sure it’s not going to affect what I do the rest of the time though.

I know, if your thinking my life is hell or awful, you should know that my job can be done while eating pizza or having a coke at the mall.

I wont on the other hand be cleaning a toilette or scubbing a chalk board in front of a class while I’m ascending someone to hell or holding observances over a dying/dead grand mothers funeral.

So I do a lot. I like to have control of myself. (I’m taking over). No if ands or buts. If you think that means you joined the wrong side. Your wrong though. Because I’ve told you. Manners, is the right way to live. And that my friends, is true.

I think it’s important to to remember, that as You’ve turned to God through out your life and I’ve given you advice. I stick by what I’ve said. You might be an asshole who I’ve fooled into thinking that your going to win the war. Or you might be doing things that you never thought you’d do. And loving it. Of course you might have to move on or stop sometime in your life too. Like I’m asking these "world leaders" to do. We’ll see who let’s go easier. Each and every one of them had the chance or opportunity to just call it quits and go home.

I’m looking forward to seeing the light on this book. It should offer many interesting things that might help with me getting into being myself again. Sure I’ve been myself. But not on top of it myself. You know I’ve been behind the scenes me. Not right in your face me. It’s funny you know the local killers and thugs. If you give them the finger. They phone the police. Fuck I’m glad I don’t have people like that working on my side. My guess is they probably kill old ladies and people right after surgery. Because no one else would hold the hold the blade for them when their hands got too week.

Fuck, I bet they don’t like the word fuck too much either. Men and women, who were never really raised well, all looking for their mom or dad out there in the wild. I laugh, why didn’t they find God. Well because I’m not really your mom or your dad. Shit I’m not even related to you at all. If I didn’t have two arms or legs you’d probably think that I was like everywhere or something.

My Mohawk

Well, I’m thinking about getting a mohawk, I know it sounds weird. God with a mohawk. It’s only going to get worst. Who knows what I’ll look like at the end of this book. I mean I God, I’m me, I am Yeeyoh. A good mohawk. If anybody was watching this video the other day. They had a back-fly about these people who’ve chosen to live, sort of like those beings I’ve talked about earlier. The ones that made me laugh and stuff. Anyway, you got-a include the business men, who look almost the same. We never see their wives, and the roomers of cars are not for the young.

Female business types who would have thought…

Anyway, as all that old stuff is phased out this will become more and more the reality. So hear I am, some of those things as old, or older than shape. And I’m watching this and thinking ot myself, realizing that the form, or shape of my bride must be something from that time as well.

The look, oh yeah I’m spreading disease and pestilence throughout the youth who judge each other by looks and economic/social status. My way of saying grow up.

So what does she look like. I mean sure each person has an individual DNA pattern that tells what they have done what are going to do and what they tried to do. And woman, who are the smarter species when compared to man, spend quite an amount of time working on their looks. Many have a look. On a comical note; the possession of an idea for a look will often cause the weaker of the species to wait till they see that look on another of their species.

Often the a new look will be copied by these people while they wait for others to form their look. Many women do not enjoy their look being copied. Most people learn to live with some sort-a compromise.

Well, what is her look. I know it changes, she changes with me over time. It’s like watching my desires in slow motion like a beautiful black wedding dress bride twirling in air. Slowly as what I’m really into changes and forms and takes shape she evolves into liking it as well. Much like the couples will arrive at a conclusion.

But is the form that way as well. I would say. Physically your way off if you think I’d know who would chose me. Not without looking at the DNA. But then again she’d have to have chosen me at a young age. Then to have chosen me early enough to know what she was getting into.

Then as the development continues she should have noted key changes in her DNA. Like many "punk rock brides" at this point she might decide to back out of the whole deal. I mean fuck man, I got a life," you know that sort of thing. But if she continue to think I was going to be her husband, all through, the You don’t know who I am, I can’t feel like I am, this ain’t going the way I had originally planned. She might at this time decide on a look. What does Gods wife look like. Reading material. There’s more reading material on you, my bride, than there is on Hitler Stalin, and Quebec, put together. I, "think" they refer to her as the Goddess.

There is even strange references to early, "punk rock brides" explaining why they couldn’t form so close to "the womb". I think one of the references is the three sisters at the cross roads.

Once the DNA is in motion, for trully yours should never form.

The look, is composed of what you think you should look like to be my bride, the form which is in outer, or what could be referred to as interstellar space. This form and your experience and experience at looking should help with the look if your helping to form this look. Oh yes by the way I thought I’d mention this, when you take on these looks or any looks like them, you should know that they are registered to to let’s say the planet or universe itself. I am not reasonable for any result of having or wearing the wrong look.

Should something regrettable occur you might want to search for the right look before changing. This is all to prevent anything awful occurring. Should you begin to look like stereo-typical over 65 year old looking person you will no longer be held responsible for looking the look you’ve been looking like.

Top avoid anything to tragic, please try to at least be trying to have a look that suits what you and I think you should look like. Should your look really look the opposite of all that then your in for something very tragic.

I’ve always thought of her as the best looking girl in any room. To the point of having trouble making friends. It’s common, these materials she owns. The design is older than this universe itself. There is a personality there you know. I’m not going to change that, who’s personalities the strongest we’ll have to see. Many religions and cultures talk about the Goddess, for hot she really is. I’ve discussed the flow and give and take and the universal time components of what it is to be together with her.

There is a personality to being my wife though. I know the plans been changed since I first got here. All the way back to the original 0063 truthfully. So the personality changes back there as well, becoming what I need it to become. Again and again, my faithful companion. Right by my side since I decided to do it. To be to exist. To not just be ,a being, floating in the void. To truly go on with my life to take shape.

How far back does my look go. Do I have anything other than a look. What happened to my DNA. How different an I look. I think my I become my look till the point where my look becomes the center of what I can return to. Like I don’t know maybe I’ll be shaped like a lizard/dragon someday in bed. And as long as I can come back. That’s cool. But what so I look like. I’m not even sure that image I have of the sun is true. It’s an old memory. But a look, a real punk rock look. That is interesting. My funniest "reading" memories are of creatures of shadows all able to kill me almost instantly. Not even thinking of it though. Wondering maybe why I was there, why I had come to visit their strange lands. I loved the shape of them though. Like if they made love to each other the shadows looked like they could rub up against each other, like we move skin to touch each other.

So do I have a look, or am I a look stealer. Actually the looks match the planet time of the universe we are in so technically, yeah I do have a look. Cloths, how to make real fabric, not shadow fabric part of my look, or should I bother to do that.

What do I and she sound like. That’s a good one too. Maybe we have different sounding voices for certain occasions. Like if we’re making fun of people who are stupid or stupid looking, do we have an original voice that we use to do so, one that makes it hard for them to notice.

Maybe making these voices and stuff is fun. They all are the looks, the sounds, the voices, the touches and most of all the miracles. Maybe I’m not asking for a girl that can be into anything or change into anything, maybe it’s about miracles touches, voices, sounds, looks, and manners. Each to their own degree.

Funny once again I got talking about her and away I went. How much of this will change. Will, my need to have a mohawk disappear. What is what, how much what is going to affect this look this watch this need to have her by my side. To those that got into all those things and decided along the way. Maybe your still a "punk rock bride" maybe you just aren’t "my punk rock bride". I’ve seen the group of you you know milling abut. Waiting for me to ask or thinking it’s your secret fantasy, no Idea that it was affecting your looks. I hope you had fun. I don’t think much of it was fake so you should be alright. I know I thought you where all beautiful, in your own way. I wonder though, was your dream really to fall off the wagon that far. Maybe you met some else. Maybe their look hasn’t come out yet.

I need to go back to my roots though, to find the special me. Here’s something few people know. I’ve never come onto a woman I had any intentions of going out with. The smoosh is a huge turn off for me. It’s like, I don’t know spitting on my grave and watching someone else urinate on it latter when they go home.

So you see as the world enters my total control. Fuck stop at rule, what a duffus. Then I’ll have to command more and more of it till… You’ll wonder did he spit on my toothbrush, the sinks clean.

I’m pondering what is the friendship factor on all this. In this new plan what whereing world. Is there a look, or sub-look catagorie for those that I hang out with. I’m not a big friend person. It comes from being low income, people who like you want to give you stuff, but they can’t communicate well because of lousy upbringings so they mime a dollar here or there. It’s quite disgusting.

No that’s the truth, I’m not a big friend person. Their pointless. I love hanging out. Same people at the mall, or what ever you call a mall, but hanging out, sipping tea, sure that sort of thing. Friends, though, I don’t know I think I’ll be friends with the wife for about five years or so first. Their just icky.

Of course financially people from low incomes have to work together.

I think that is why me and the woman want each other so much, we really don’t get the friend thing. And when you don’t get it, the only fun around people is hanging around. The only thing necessary about making friends with your loved one is the physical contact. And there your so close that you’d wan the person to die, if you broke up.

Friends sell out. It’s a fact of life. Their just not close enough for me, to give a fuck about them. If they don’t have cool long turn buddies. They are screwed. That’s not just me, people sell out ever day. It’s how we have albums and stuff.

Of course with inflation. There no reason to believe that albums or any of that will continue to be produced that way.

I’ve been God, now I’m going to be what God is.

You Know It’s Funny.

What happens when you die. Well, what happens when you die is simple. Your dead. No ray of light, calling for the end, no, finish line. The end is the end.

That would be in one of those worlds if the world could be like I wanted it to be. Instead though, you can have a lot of options or you can go to hell. Now the lot of options, they include, being born again. Me deciding what the right place and time for you are. Having your hair done in a salon and then, "getting back in there." Meeting your maker. Me placing you in a time tunnel where you keep walking forward, till you finally get to go to hell.

This ones not done too much anymore, but having your body exhumed. It means that basically you start with a first cut and then your body is harmed over and over again till your finally ready to go back to living where I rule and command etc. Over where you thought you lived. This is only done for people I would care to hear from again. Like I said it’s rare.

Oh yeah and then there is the cock sucker, now she’s my wife and I hate to talk about her this way, but she dies, almost every night, hopefully. This corpse is then carried up to the stars where we make love for hours. It’s quite silly though.

I Must Speak Economically, I Think People Can Here My Writing

Well, the economy could use a mention. I’ve gone on about everything else. A, I should mention that I love money. Love it, coolest concept ever. Do I like the way things are no. I thought AIDS would be enough. The city I’m in, is about 90% AIDS most days.

Anyway, I thought I’d give a shout out to those that own shops and stuff, you know cool people. Here’s your shout, prices have gone way down, what’s the hold up.

Anyway, like I said before, we got your AIDS. We got your NAS, we Got your ATM and we got your bubonica.

So I would like to direct these comments to those that might like to restart such a stupid economy where… All the prices go up and new things are over priced to the point of madness. There really is no way to express my hatetredd for what has been tried to be done to my money. But I’ll try.

I’ve been trying this whole time. I mean like, I’m not going to try harder than I do with anything else. If I like what your doing with your money. Good things will happen to you. If I don’t you die.

It’s the same with all those things. Enchantment, death, bonds of marriage, and Money. If you fuck with them you will die. Does that mean free loonies and twoonies are bad. No way. Make love to it. Maybe your enchantments got all caught up in your money and you thought death missed while you was falling in love.

What is the what of the economy. The what of the economy is the same as the who, and everything else everybody tried to do. For one those that would have tried to kill us during anarchy end up owning a few shops in the end. It’s really quite funny. You’ve heard of having the fight knocked out of you. These guys take it to the extreme. I mean even tiny guys are walking by and giggling. But the cool girls go, "fuck don’t wake him up. Sit the fuck down over there."

So basically money is not being treated like money. It’s a shame really money rocks. I love fucken money. But if you try and make it something that I don’t rule. It will do things to your mind. You’ll fuck your kids, that dog over there will start to look good. Till finally I rule you. Now I rule you anyway. But I mean crazy motron. I fucken rule you. Do you think that will make you take the prices down, fuck no.

Quite the opposite. You’ll continue to put prices up. You start and finishs doing things that are different form country to country. Non good. All evil.

Anyway that is it for now, anything good to say to anybody about money. Get rid of the middle man. Fuck the pocket and the time card and all that shit. Do what you will with it, what my spirit tells you. Remember it connects with all the other things though. The whole fucken universe.

Remember then that that means I rule it. Is it the only thing ruling you. Well if it is you’ve got something. Either class, or AIDS, either grace, or style. Oh did I mention that. Money is very masculine. Money is I rule you right to it’s very fiber. It contains the law of this universe was not created for you but for me. It’s true it’s raw.

From it’s very nature money was formed to give the economic universe a grip on what I am. What I stand for, and what life is all about. You see an old person who just won a bunch of money and they seem happy. They’re embarrassed.

But it’s there winding in your very skull what makes money different. I’m going to tell you what I know for sure. Money can be from the beginning or from the ending. In the beginning. I don’t give a fuck couldn’t give a fuck. Everybody but me could die and I wouldn’t give a shit. The whole universe is just something to try out to see you know, if it would work. Something not made of self. Not me, made from a part of me, but not me.

I forged that fucker. That thing is set up so that assholes make themselves look like assholes. Right fucken clear. And non-assholes well they do as good as times dictate they do.

Maybe you think that’s broke, maybe you think so new technology has come along to end all that.

How rich are you when your lying in a hospital with AIDS. Dying, then it’s your son’s fault. He has to deal with it.

Forged. And then, at the end, how far away is that you might ask. Heh heh. It sits rewarding everybody that’s been good, everybody that ever did anything to help me, and of course burns in hell anybody who tried to fuck with my marriage, my life. The people at an ends life etc.

If your into the flow like I was talking about earlier, you might ask yourself, how does this affect that. If you have to ask that your probably someone who is not going to be around till the end. A mean you take getting paid for something. You take the money you get and you by food. Everything is affected by money, and as that flow is a very big part of money. Mine and her flow all wrapped in their together.

So economically speaking a person could make a cleaning right now or they could end up I don’t know. Milking a camel in Africa to get hash they could buy from a stereo-typical poor kid in Nouveu Brunswick.

So why don’t I worry. I don’t worry because just like God had a plan for me now he has a what.

My Music And Why It Sucks

I cracked a joke about my music being from an alien ship once and everyone believed me. I have to laugh, most of my music is from to coin a better phrase angels.

They don’t really exist. Once in a while I’ll open up a moon or a planet that doesn’t really stay there and then I’ll get an album here on earth.

Now a days I just sit there or walk there and the stuff is there. Mostly I don’t bother lately. People don’t take it seriously. It’s gothic. Don’t fuck with it. You know that sort of thing. Then they write extra rules especially for me.

I’m starting to get side tracked in this book and I’ll tell you why. Naw this is about what. What am I. A friend hater. No, but have I had people who in some distant realm I considered my friends sure. And they sold out. And do you know why because they refused to move to the right city. I think they are stupid.

Maybe when I’m all done with this universe and it’s all over I’ll make a list of my friends. I bet it will be a long list. More than I can individually mention.

What, I’m trying to say is I didn’t wan them, they came along. I think that’s cool. I’m just not as freak out over as when I was young. I mean those guys from way long ago where cool too. So what is the difference. I’m alive. Your living. I’m hanging with an entirely different species. Much less than the animal kingdom. It’s true. Outside the zoo, animals are the coolest nicest people you want meet.

Economically I know I have a very/sort-a rich person hanging around me lately. I wish she’d go away. I’m sick of it. It’s like watching something tell you over and over again they are the boss. I’m God fuck-nut. If there are enough couples out there that fight over who’s the boss. You would think someone who wants the guy to be the boss would wake up. I mean fuck dude. We’re not asking everone wo become super knowledge religio-spiritual persons here. But I am asking for a little sense when it comes to who, you are compared to who I am.

No I wouldn’t. You are too out dated. Living in some sort-a past where, the "poe" want to hang out with the rich…."if only they’d let us.

Fuck, we all know your out for something. Like cartoon virgins strutting around with there screwed in the middle loonies hanging from their waste. Dankling from their crotch.

You decided to get rich while Christ almost died. "We, decided to get lives get our shit together."

The first thing I’d want from anyone with an over $30,000 a year income these days would be an AIDS test.

Truthfully you just too different, what you hold dearly. Sometimes for the Universe I think.

What am I.

What Is My Look

My look, is that of an almost punk, an almost successful business man, a Poor punk who couldn’t afford the patches. A guy who spends all his time worry about himself. I’m a hair freak. I actually have very classic features. I look sort of european form a distance, female. I can look different and truthfully I came as fire.

I can change what I am, but I’m not really into this changing to the point of harming myself. I mean it sucks I finally get a look and it’s burnt right the fuck out of me.

Well here is the secret truth. I get better, all the time. I get better looking. I get stronger. I get mightier. I get quicker with the miracles.

I guess my what is all about becoming God the whole freaking thing, right here on earth.

What To Do Till When.

What to due till when. Well I’m hoping everything will be okay. Right now there are so many changes out there that I’m unsure as to any political statement I’d make. Finacially it means that once again people are trying to build some sort of God machine that will let them know what they each think of each other after they get together to make decisions about how I should live my life.

Evil there is no other way to describe this than evil. I’ve never seen it done so stupidly or callously. But there it is almost every countries dream of a world ruled by God with cool people on the top taken away by stereo-typical images of the top being about money and how much of it you have.

Absolutely stupid. So I guess I see who goes for it over the next few years.

What do I do till when, I’ll tell you. Hopefully live the most fucked up magical miracle mystifying, timely experience, fun time of my life. Same as I’ve done my whole life.

That’s what I’m hoping to do. I’m just not freaking myself out anymore. I used to you know have a fun time all the time. But now everything is about death, and about p[rotecting myself. Not to mention the Nerds who keep going on about anything different like it’s the their personal earth.

Fuck what I’d like to see during the what is the end of science. The end of anybody but me making decisions about human life.

I’d like to see myself improve in my public performance, truly though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this alone.

I just fucken hate them. I mean you come out and your hanging around and then I’m being nagged like a fucken fourteen year old.

I’m as old as a person could be. There is no older. Superman old. Nagged.

Anyway. I’d also lke to see any mistakes in this book taken away. Any of that make it up to you make your life worst now crap. Any of that I’m the boss your not crap. Any of the assholes who want to hold me back.

Miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

Miracle, super right, etc.

I hope to blow my fucken socks off. I really do. I mean it. If the Late eighties had cool miracles. Then I hope this city is going to have some really cool shit. The thing it could work on, In the future, is timing.

Let’s say fuck all those other countries and places till we get Saint John the way we like it. If I’m powerful enough then I’m gong to do it because truthfully. This city is too money driven for anybody to give a fuck about it. If you think I’m going to steal or involve myself in some sort of "Gay pride" movie about how I should be or how it should have been. You are stuck so far in the past, I don’t know if this city can put up with you.

Get the fuck out. Leave, be gone. Never come back. See you never. Bye bye, the finger. Get the fuck out of here you mind reading peace of crap. Bye bye.

On a lighter note. I’m predicting weather of storms, and weather that is so funnily fair, no one should ever have to worry about me again.

What Am I.

Well, I don’t know what I’m missing. I feel like I have way more time on my hands than I used to. I feel like half the world hates me and the other half would kill for me. I feel like a sinner a saint. I feel like Brian Robichaud. And being Brian robichaud ain’t good enough. I feel like I’m going to do something so important at the end of this who, Which I’ve been through, what, when, where, continuum that will make up for my life. I feel that life before then is going to be off and on so artificial that I might fall in love with it. I think I know a world where real life is better.

I know the past few days I’ve felt like it would end. Like I’m doing great and someone is going to rip that away from me.

I feel like there is a part of me that has planned such stupid things for me that it had no idea what it would be like to be human. I hate it. I wouldn’t be human again, not ever. I love who I am. I enjoy it.

I’ve heard a lot of people got healed during the wring of this book and I hope that is true. I just hope people don’t think that that healing is going to stop because I start writing. I’m going to live in this book soon. A little at a time, till I’m all the way there. Why not join me. We’re all gong to be in it. From your self, your loved one and the shit you flush down the toilet. Why not embrace it. Why not make your life a part of my plan for you.

I came across this guy in Montreal. I’d been walking and no one had offered to buy me a sandwich or a slice of pizza nothing. I thought every body wanted me to just die. I can’t do that.

I went up to this guy and I said, "hey guess what I’m offering?" He paused and looked at me with real interest. "Eternal life." I said.

He looked at me real serous like he wanted to hear more, like he was interested for the first time in what I was saying.

You know what I saw. Just a rich fuck with too much time on his hands and not a clue what life in the real world was like.

What an ass, stalking a poor man or God, just so he could feel all bad about himself and do another line up in some bathroom stall.

Why don’t they shoot guys like that I thought. Actually, my mind wen to work on what I would do to him, and anyone like him. The associate stupid with not bowing down to them. All dopers do. It’s there thing. They’re evil. Stupid and evil.

I hope is this world is finished back in the end. That we look back and can say. These are the people that tried. Those are the people who stood in their own way.

I love myself too much to write down the rest of what I think on the subject. You’ll have to get that from the air, the extra’s.

Speaking Yeeyoh

Speaking Yeeyoh. I’m here thinking about what life must have been like before I existed again. I was talking God and I thought that was great and everything and it occuered to me to speak yeeyoh. Why ot speak yeeyoh over and over again. That would be fun. Do you think people would understand me after a while. I think it would. I could just speak my language over and over again. Till I no longer was speakng anything that I would care for anybody to understand.

Then it occurred to me. While thinking about what it would be like to go around and talk this language no one understood. I think It would make for a fun day. They could try and hear what I’m trying to say over and over again. That way, I might be able to get somethings done, without everybody laughing at the same time to. I wonder how they get things done.

On a personal note. I hope charonazone, let’s my wife get though, amoungst other people. I think it’s sad that we can’t do the eyeball thing sooner. I think I thrust my self at home, but I’d like to be able to go to sleep knowing she’s okay. And that is not easy to do, in this city.

I once made a joke about I wondered if charonazone was my wife. We shared some laughs back in the day. Now charonazone seems more like a recurring character. Once we transition the "super wank" chicks in the time of the marriage together should be okay. I wonder if the charonazones of the outside world feel they are not recurring. Because in Todays world they must surely be out there.

I hear that things are going well. I wonder if charonezone is trying to include. Me I’d stay here for ever. Make my wife the only person aloud and create wanker chicks for me. I’m sure there are enough men for her to see.

There’re could be some protection from her screwing around after say 1993. I know she’s hard to see because of the fact that we are little hamsters in cages but his will all change eventually.

I wonder does anybody do any good up here. Is my wife just a collection of thoughts and ideas I had before creation?

I think that is possible, but in order for there to be any consistency. The person would have to have a history. Either a very Good one. That I might enjoy, in the long term, to listen to. Or one made up, like that Dawn Chick in that buffy show.

And that is that we go back to speaking our Yeeyohic language. The kind we like to say with little reminders and ear pieces that don’t fuck with the sound today.

The land of real music.

There seems to be some deep problems with some of the things I’ve said so far. Like about friends and everything. If you know anything about the world you know that I don’t make friends very lightly. You might think I do when I run into someone I haven’t seen for a long time. Funny isn’t it.

Here’s the deal. We’re about fifteen years away from the end of what I’ve set out to do. To make man.

I know this sounds weird. But the world is different. Look out your window. Breathe the air. I’m sure if I could have done that before, I sure the fuck would have. Peoples problems becoming simpler. I’m pretty sure I’m doing that too.

You want a good tip to being my friend, to making it to the end. Stop trying to play God. It’s stupid and your going to die before the end of this for doing that.

As I make friends rarely, and truthfully my card is pretty much fun. You should know I’m a spy. People have me down on their most wanted list, as Brian, but not as God. I want that changed, and I need it changed yesterday.

I don’t make friends easily. It’s just a thing. I don’t feel I’m desperate. Truthfully I’d say, that I have just about all the friends I need. All I need really though is to meet with this woman of my dreams. Part of why I say wait… is like I say about forty countries think it’s fun and funny to crucify God’s body in order to make him give up on helping humans.

It’s not that I want them to make it stop. I’m going to make them stop. They don’t control me and they don’t rule you. You should never let them get the best of you. I do rule. Maybe you’ll see me down on my luck, Or taken aback from a situation. Remember while your waying what I know or who I am as a person. I’m an Agent of God more than anything else. It’s getting very close to the end of this thing I call a life. People shouldn’t be testing my patients. Asking for miracles like there some form of performance art. Demanding I stop demanding I go. Not asking put forcing me to stay.

I’m God not something to be pushed around. Fancy push or otherwise. Don’t ask idiots for advice.

The only change you can sense on me is her. When next I’m with a woman, you better not be judging her as well. Either. Because there are many religions based on this woman and me.

I wont hesatate. You think ‘d let a single one of my friends tell me weather I’m with the right chick or not. You’ve got to be fucken kidding. My God man, my friends so far couldn’t tell they if they were with the right person… If they were form planet zortoast.

The guy at the mall, the man at the counter. Oh my fuck grow up. The function of humanity is to please me. You might not see it. When your fucking your wife. When it’s all going down. Right there in the corner.

Like little girly men with little girly pride.

No talking, How many people still alive today hate the rich. I mean it, how many people here today hate the rich because of what they’ve done to God. How many people here hate the rich because of what they’ve done to a loved one. How many people here hate the rich for what they’ve done to them. How many people just want them dead.

How many people know that it’s their governments that let it happen. How many people care about me more than their Governments. How many people don’t want that to happen to God anymore. How many people don’t want that to happen to loved ones anymore. How many people don’t want to happen to themselves anymore.

For the sake of sanity, Shut the fuck up rich people shut the fuck up. I’m going to need some time. I’m gong to take a minute. I’m going to be "Far from okay." I’m going to make it my personal revenge to have my "fun" with the new rich, the rich, the soon to be rich, and the dead to be rich.

You’ve been living in a dream world, "Neo,"

I Thin everybody in the world knows I’ve turned you down. Maybe I should turn that up a little louder. I fucken hate the Rich. I think they are knobs. And the people growing up today who wan to be rich are worst because they already know what they are like.

On lighter note, if you like great music and enjoy hanging out without giving a fuck about how it is all done. Then please feel free to hang.

Who?___________

What?__________

When?__________

Where?__________

Endlessly. These are the things that I am going to change. Now considering I’ve been telling the man to "fuck off" since about the age of "8". I’ll have to consider it a given that they "know" I won’t "sign up and give up on my Islamic brothers"

Oh Yeah.

My wife’s name is Why. You know like in "Why the fuck" I bothered creating this universe to begin with. That sort of thing.

What and Why hanging out together. I guess I did do something’s out of order.

Another thing that should happen early on in this book is, all the Gangs should get off my turf. Fancy Gangs included.

What up with day?

This might be my last chance, to come up with anything I’m real grumpy about. I’ll be eating different food soon. So here it goes. I hate….etc. I hate….. etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

Hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

I like never seeing or finding out about anything I hate. Leave that in the past.

Here’s my favorite way to live. What I do to get there is my business. Life should require only three miracles. Light, sound and size.

After that I should be using my miracles just for my amazing amusement and fuck those that would have it different.

Well as I exit this time in my life. You should know that I’m okay. Are you okay. You don’t look so good. What’s the matter. Do you want to rest. Is there anything I could do to help you. Are you in need of a bigger power than I could provide.

Please I’m so sorry, thre just isn’t room for you. If only I could change that. No I’m so sorry. You see we are too much alike and one of us must go. That one is you.

Well have to measure it to the micro second to see which one of you went first. If only I could find a way to tell. Maybe you found God along the way.

‘I’m real sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m real sorry I wasn’t everything you were hoping I would be.

See you latter. Loved the part about you being on a mission for God. How’d that go for you. Sorry it didn’t work out. You’ve increased the amount of your annoyance in disproportion to your value as a citizen.

Too bad all functions have changed. There really is no need for you to try any longer. Your value as a citizen has been demenoused.

Oh yeah we got to give a shout out to my hate of there recently not rich. I think I hate them more than the ones holding onto their money for them. There so old so bold. They are down right cold. I care about them. How when are they gone. Who’s going to get that day because of them. I Love the way they die. Right out in the open like that. Oh how they cling. Like God gave them a secret mission. They lost their mind. Maybe they thought their mockasins were mine. Maybe I should kill them right quick. Right slow. I’m sure I’ll do it a lot of ways.

When your helping me with all that. Be sure not to ZZZZZZZZWWWWWWWQQQQQQQQQLLLLLLLKKKKKKAAEEIIOOUU.

The man keeps telling me about "y" and "w". Must have been a myth of, "the man."

It’s Like an Insult "She’s" not more horney!

Well it's that time of year again.

What am I? That is interesting and I'm sure I'll get around to that in a latter chapter. But for now who are you? Well let me see there are all those people who disappeared ever so recently and let me say that all but one of them never really existed. I mean can a man.. or woman.

Nah let's just get started. I'm God I'm God I'm God.

I love it. Being God is a lot of things. It's like well it's like when you piss on that tree. Well your pissing on a peace of me. When you take a shit well. your flushing and sitting on a piece of me.

Well hey I take the shape and the form of my inventions very importantly.

The way I see it what went on was a bunch of people tried to stop other people from doing things. So I created a bunch of temporary people to do those things.

Now they were the who. They had lives and people tried to stop them and they went on and in the end I got what I wanted.

Funny isn't it.

Anyway So now that I'm what you guys are all in there being the who. Some of you are thinking hey I bet there are going to be temporary people this time. Maybe even thinking you can take advantage of them. Maybe turn a prophet.

Well yes it was brilliant. the alphabet.

Now this what he's weird chat you don't want to fuck with him. I mean he might turn you into a toad.

Really might happen.

But what am I? Who am I in love with?

I don't mean just your but fuckin ordinary wanting to cum on their face sort of casual sexual thing.

I mean who do I want to be with for the rest of my life. For all time.

Me of course. Like I was saying that tree your shitting on etc.

Like I was saying you are all inside of me. the whole thing. She is too. Like I'm going to be fucking a woman who is going to be inside of me while I'm with her.

I can guess why you might think the heart but no.

Inside of me it's all mixed like a big, I don't know it's like when a lot of people die and you see me on the bus and well there souls are restructuralizing inside of me. Just like you do when you turn a doorknob.

It's funny really everything that goes on on this planet heheh affects me. lets' say like in astrology there are all these real planets that represent the universe. Then there are these other planets that don't really exist as planets but they are planets because they are just as effective.

now you take those planets. The ones that exist and don't existed in astrology add the earth and you have what is inside of me.

The whole thing.

I'm about 5' 6" tall. My weight, how embarrassing has almost reached 300 and at the smallest adult size was about 160.

I like it around 180 pounds firm.

Oh yeah why do I love my self. Because the good people heaven and the bad people go to hell.

How far away is heaven?

Get it?

Remember I had that other book. The plan which when I was in heaven I would have a book that answer. who?___________

What?___________ When?__________ Where?_____________

and it was about the people in heaven. Like their cool stories and stuff.

Well what am I. Heaven is on earth last time I checked affected by all those things those other planets. Those inventions I make. Those thoughts I have. The feelings I express.

Those Thoughts

Now the stories I read in my Book. They have to all fit together. Like I said, "People are all having stories and they don't harm anybody else’s stories. Now when people do hurt the stories of others they hurt me. It's almost like everything is going good with your digestion, you get constipated and then finally you take a shit and the and I feel better.

It's like that when someone is going to hell. I'm like constipated and I have to have a crap. When I have my crap I feel better. And the weird part is... you do too.

Like you had this string and a cat was trying to eat it. And then the cat is gone away somewhere and your string magically repairs itself and the world is alright and your alright and you know she's alright because you didn't go to hell trying to find her.

What's my story like you might ask. Well I like most of you have had people a lot of people trying to take my story away. It's like they hate me. Hate me for sending them to hell.

They know it deep down inside they know it and the struggle and threatened to hurt and kill those that I love. But I wouldn't let them win. I would not I could not.

"I'm God," I say. God can't let no one stop his place in the plan.

Of course it sucks for those who have to deal those things that happened to the who .

I was thinking though. If this really is heaven shouldn't magical things occur.

I mean like dude I'm what hear. There is no way what is like who. I mean what can't be like who. If what was like who. What would cease to be what and become who.

You'll have to excuse my math.

Well shit it's all inside me. I mean like everything. Now for sure I don't get all constipated every time I have to deal with a shit head. But it happens sometimes it does.

I don't know what to make of that last sentence. Bar fight?

I think a picture would be nice.

Yes it is Chip break time.

Chip break time. All must cease. I want to eat my bag of chips and watch TV but I can't afford TV. I can't. So I'll sit and I'll watch the, well shit I'll probably leave the computer on and watch a movie. Or like a movie on something. Or half a movie and then come back.

Anyway there I was staring at my wallpaper when it occurred to me. What is this Book about for those "people" out there who follow their lives.

Well it sure ain't shaped like a cross.

But truth fully it's about the people "who attempt to get in my way to the where" Being fucked up by themselves not us while making asses of themselves and doing all the dirty work.

That's just what what is.

I don't know why what is what.

But what is definitely that.

Oh yeah what isn't going to be like what did they keep calling me "who?" "who?" "who?" over and over again. I've heard of some stupid people in my day, but to not know who.

I mean God man how could a person not know who God is?

In the what though they'll know what!!! Like where you good or bad today. That's what!

Did you have a good time at the mall today? That's what!

Did I forget to mention something that you thought was important?

That's what!

What will happen during what. Get real. Did you not understand the part about the pathetic people who did not understand who I was. It's very sad really. They are all inside of me. Being churned up to insert in hell.

I feel bad if you've had a loved one who died. I really do. But this is not the place where I'll talk about such things. I will though. It will probably be latter in this book.

What to invest in. Invest in everything getting cheaper. That's what!!!

Invest in prices going down or you'll die. That's what! Invest in us paying less for everything or you'll die. That's what! Invest in the lower cost of living. That's what!

On a lighter note.

I'm predicting rain, rain and more rain.

It's almost like in some countries it's like scorching hot and in other countries it's like raining all the time.

Of course with today’s climate you can't go by the weather. As I was saying in astrology. There are planets that are ruled that rule. Planets that don't exist that are ruled that rule. There is earth that ruled I stopped from ruling still ruled and now am switching ruling back into being as influential as the rest of the planets.

Like that astrology equation I mentioned earlier.

Really I didn't say anything different I just said the same thing.

Life what up with dat!?

AhhhH weather what is it that makes you so different when it's romantic. Why do some-days with the right woman you want to break yourself apart and spread yourself upon the air the ground everything around and embrace her with it.

And other days it just sucks rocks !!!

I must make another picture....

Well before we get to far I'd like to give a few shout outs. To Rap music. You haven't made it anywhere. If you can't afford to not have the shit played on the tele. Then really your taking a very long time. Punk Alternative Hard Core Metal Death Rock and of course Rock and Roll all seems to be able to hold there own in most Countries. Okay Death Metal is on a bit of a break. Aside form that. If Rap is that old what could it be.

Sure the hell wasn't the colour of our skin.

Another shout out to all those people out there trying and hoping to be my friend. I see it as almost the opposite as the Girl thing. With Girls I have to remind myself that I'm pretty Good looking And they might be after me for my looks. With friends you have to remind yourself that they might want to be your friend to get out of something. and those are split into two categories. Those you will probably end up helping and those that it's hard not to laugh at or disintegrate of the face of the earth for looking at me.

Then there are those that might want to be your friends, but they leave that mostly in your hands. Which they probably should. Oh yes sub-categories of those that want to be your friends and want help. Would they be my friends after the help. That is the question.

Friends with God. That's it though. Non of this Brian your a different guy. Your like the battery all that stuff. Just God hanging out. Of course I do like to help.

Help help help. I must have turned the help channel on. If the help channel was the bat signal you'd swear that most days the whole sky could be made black by all the little bats formed by it. "Not so much Fake help, these days," thank God.

To Those friends that gave me all the extra time to help others. Thanks. I appreciate your appreciating of the situation and your thoughts on the subject. Should you choose to speak without thinking. I'll appreciate that to.

I think I'm thinking of another time and place when I think about what I considered friends. As our walkman hug us and the pictures in front of us dance. Maybe you'll reflect on this world that you probably hate because of the people who do crappy things. Then think about toasters and T.V.S. or pick up a rock and throw it. Then you'll know my earlier tries at life and how auto mated they were. Without independent thought the world is a perfect place. There is another place were people don't do shitty things to each other. Earth. I know it seems crazy but. On earth people really don't have independent thought either. It only seems that way.

For instance, when your child runs at you to be picked up and hugged or carried over to someplace new. He's and or she is only doing this to please you. Sure you could slang that up to, make you happy, freak you out, have some fun. It's totally artificial.

Same with you saying hello. Take a person saying hi to me. As a what. This who will walk around a corner and say hi. They assume they are saying hi, to their concept of God. They are saying hi to me. I might be thinking about laundry. A volcano forming, in this time or another time. I might be trying to find a secret local to pick my nose. I like tissue, but I'm old enough to use them.

Now this person says hi because they want a reaction like a hello or a hi, to (please) their image of God. The person who is always prepared to listen. The person who always understands.

I try not to give a person like that a handshake or the finger. It's not always easy.

For their conception of what God is to be so different than reality. They Don't acknowledge my existence amongst their friends. If at least three people hang out together. All acknowledging the existence of God. They will get a much closer concept of what God is.

These people, Rarely catch me at inopportune times. Hardly ever throw me off balance. Truthfully their biggest problem seems to be thinking I want to be everybody’s close personal friend.

Nope sorry. I guess if I have God friends. God friends that in person I sort-a know cause I can keep my mind out-there. And then of course what we call close personal friends. One of course will be the wife.

Ahh that is funny what does a wife do to prove their love to a husband. Now your talking artificial thinking. There's the fact you want to physically stay together. There's the fact you want his love and want it bad. There's the kisses your hoping for there's the thoughts of what happens if this breaks down. The fears of starting over and it never being the same because it's with a different person.

All this going on. If you've ever been with one and they're spinning their head trying to figure which please to praise. Then you know what I'm talking about.

AI I love myself. It's the best fucken life ever. Every body pushing others buttons all making it better and better for each other. Including me. Until the sky is about to break open from the wwww?_________ and then is dissipated into a thousand branches and branches branches all pleasing me endlessly. Yeah I know I'm God. I know it so strongly that I had to laugh at the last few attempts to make me forget.

Silly really silly deedless doing their little deadly thing.

The Joke!

God walks into a bar. Everybody is talking about him. He walks over to the most attractive chick. Enough about me, let's talk about you.

Ha ha ha. Get it. God gets sick of people talking about him. Have you read a bible. Do you know what is going on. Do you know what time it is? ha ha ha I must be kidding.

Anyway in Montreal I could walk by any bar go to any coffee place, Dance my night away at any bar. Drunk right out of my skull if I wanted to. Never not once did anybody stop talking about me. Like music to my ears. Like the beautiful stars in the sky the mist in the air. The trees. The mountain. You name it.

Oh and of course most of the people there aren't single after about sixteen years and that's even back then.

Ahhh the place rocks. Lately it seems like they think they have such places. Now a days it's now bars. I can tell. Walk into a place and everybody shuts up. It's a now bar. They want your now. Your humming to yourself something to remind you of what you wanted to do with your day and someone will open up a now bar where you can go in and forget your life.

In real life there are other sorts of bars and places where things are always happening. I can walk into one of those places and something things are going on. It could be something from France in 1374. You don't know but it's fun. Now a days it all looks like some sort-a proof that living through the year before was stupid or something.

Ohhh and most of the buildings around here are built to take away from the beauty of my earth not to enhance it. To the point of emphasizing the crappy-iest things in Montreal actually.

Anyway since most of us living to day aren't aging and the who's that want to be what are going to be killing themselves amongst themselves. I just thought it would be fun to write a little about what. What am I what is God.

Yes in the who. I supposed we discovered that God can affect the weather. Make things disappear. Even bring a few things back and stuff like that. Yes a suppose I can make things move. It's sort of funny.

If that is all you discovered in the who then you are either a minor bunny, or really don't have any concept of God. It's really sad actually,,,

More about the city though. I know pathetically single people over the age of thirty. Cars that rust. Ice that makes you fall. Trees that make it look like they are going to make it all though summer and then the branch breaks off on it's own falling to the ground. On the brittle frozen paving. A paving so solid it makes ice look like clear paving and

paving look like black ice.

Ahh I can't stand it. The sun. The trees. The lake on the hill. That's about the same height as the Montreal mountain. It's a beautiful beautiful world.

Ohhhh excuse me I'm arguing with myself. But ass far as I can see the only side of this planet that has to change it's ways compared to the inside is the temperature. Aside from that I believe my concept of inside and outside will be pretty much enforced by five years into the age of Pisces. I'd say around 2006.

Perma-locking.

Basically I guess if you read and your trying to figure out that top sentence it means that the age of Pisces. The age of Pisces will have the inside and outside as close as they really ever are. Until the next age of Pisces. This age of Pisces should last until about half-way though that next one.

So there are the signs in a nut shell. You should see, when this earth fully kicks into the fact that the comfort level ain’t all about temperature. It's becoming just another place. Like all the planets that are real and are not real. While they feel they're up there ruling. The earth down here rules as well. Of course they all "rule" together. Basically I rule the earth all the other planets everything on them and the stars around. The whole fucking thing. The stars are a different form of time. Like the measurement of days months years. So yeah if I can just get the earth over the hump and land it like, "It is One of the other planets." Equal. Not Better or worst. Or stronger or weaker. Just different. Ohhhh guess fuck is she fun to rule. If you could picture driving your favorite favorite fucking, "no one gets their favorite fucking car" fucking poster on a wall automobile. That's what it's like ruling the fucking things. Your cruising in a no-speed limit 100 M.P.H. with no one else on the high way and it, "this is were I separate from you" goes on forever.

All I have to do now is pick up a hitch hiker on the side of the road. Without slowing down. Say high honey, "Have her convince me that she is my one." Keep, my speed constant and maybe someday do the same thing to put a kid in the back. "I hope it's a boy!"

Of course on a certain planet I'm actually living this life. making sure everything is okay.

Ohhh yeah if your really into astrology then you might want to know that the earth is wear the AI is the most kicking.

You know it's funny I was thinking to myself. Weather or not the image portrayed in the bible is a stereo type. About a God who really wants people to understand him. It depends what you mean by stereotype. Most people, back in the day, thought the expression meant something that the sound of doesn't change. The definition for almost any word is a craze. The only exception to this is the word good.

Now if I was to tell you that a person might think the stereo type for God is that I react the same way when different people do the same thing. I'd have to say only when good is done.

So telling a person that has done some Seriously wrong that they can do a few good things and everything will be okay, or the same as a person who has tried to do good things (and succeeded a few times) all their life is stupid.

So if you buy a kid a bag of chips don't expect your whole life to change over night. There are people who have been paying for cheaper chips they're whole life. They're life was probably a little better because of it. Then they decided to raise they're prices just to see if like you know they were connected. The slightly better life and the price of chips. They died. It's a fact of life. Making my life any worst will kill you. Heaven.

Makes Me Think Of The Wife.

I wonder if my image of head spinning true love making kick the wall before I'd leave him is true. Then I should have nothing to worry about , I mean that's cool. It's Going to get more and more powerful though. Those moments of putting up with you because your an attempted-friender or something is going out the window.

They're is no buying your way out of it. We are going to heaven. We're pissing me off is ridiculous and people getting away with stuff is the most impossible stupidest thing that a person has ever thought of. What the planet is getting used to if I might refer back to my previous chapter. Is my ruling it. You see to this planet I eighties expression, "rule". So strongly that I can't seem to get it to perm-know that I rule.

If it was to flip that expression from the "rule" in the eighties to the rule. Then I might come up with the ability to have a wife and or kids. Because believe it or not computer. She's going to "rule!" One way or another and if the planet isn't through with me "ruling!!!" by then. I really don't know what to do with it.

Of course if it's just the planet earth that is stuck with a "rule" complex. Then the other planets should be enough in a universe plus planet "rule" continuum. Of course should the planet release that to most everything I do "rule" then it should see this newness as rule-x-rule. Or super rule. or he's ruling. What a ruler. ,"I've never had better." Super rule. The ruling one. The guy up there who rules. "I've never ruled like that guy." What a ruler. I want to get a ruler to see if I can measure the amount of rule being used to rule me while we're ruling in the rule.

Rocken rollen rule. Ivan rule. Batov-in Rule. Mostartian Rule. There is so much going one and being rued and ruling and the temperature is going to transition into a new rule where it's more obvious you rule, of course by then it will be "ruling" to those that are now "ruled"

Wanking To Jesus

First off let me tell you. I love it. I flip-freaken flipen-fucken love it. Unless your ugly. When a person is ugly I think it is the most insulting thing in the world for a person to wank off to me. I don't know why they would. I'm sure not going to wank back. I mean fuck. Bad-hair day etc. Yeah sure. But fucken ugly. I said beauty is a gift. Women think a lot of handsome men and masculine men and rugged men.

So looks must be important. The super wank. The up-tight couple wank. The, "I don't know what your talking about?" wank. Super-terrific-happy hour super-wank.

It's the wankiest. It's almost like sex. If that twenty minutes. Heh heh heh could be stretched out to encapsulate how much I love romance, you would start to get me. Rock and Roll. Don't get me started on Rock and rollen.

I just might make some rock and roll myself some day that's what I might do.

I'll get a typewriter and I'll start writing and I'll never stop. I'll be the super wanker. The mano-wank. "The God who wanked his life away?" Get with it.

The question remains what do the Girls think of the super wank. They might do it just because their friends think they are cool when they do. I mean that might be the only reason. They might... no they like me. They really like me. Humma they seem to like me when I'm naked like I'm fucking them but not so much when I'm out there with my clothes on.

I think it's my voice. They must think I rule the earth with my voice and when I use it to talk to them I'm.. Well I just don't know. They are single at least some. Some are probably secretly going out. I did mention that my friends in relationships should probably, not hang out with me in person too much. I might see the look in their eyes when they stare at me like, what could you offer me that this man can't.

In a good mood this is okay. When I really laughing at something though or when I'm really angry at something that is going on in the world. Might be past present or, future. Hint Hint. I might look at here and go I can I can offer you blah blah bah. Into their mind it sinks and then they stare at me after they've left their man and I laugh. laugh my fucken head off. Like I would fall in love with someone who would leave someone that made them feel that way. Being in love. There are no limits. Being with a person who has left their one true love. Waste of time. Why bother. Of course along comes the right person someday and you don't care who they've been with.

What really I never understand is the people who think they are with the right person. Then they think that they wont understand the pain they've been through. They wont tell them the hurts and aches they've had. Like is it the right person. Did you not tell me and everything that is holy that the person your talking about is the right person. Yes dude, dude-ets it's going to hurt, but you want it to stop right? I mean like you do want no one else to go through that, right? It happens bye telling. you tell them what you went through, Time will still heal their wounds. Like who the fuck would give a fuck and who wouldn't, isn't going to end you up with the right person. (Funny though it's the people who care and scream and kick about the about the small things that make the best lovers.) Where were going anybody would care. They'd all care, but who the fuck can take it; that is the question.

Where Will We Be When What Is Ending And Becoming Where.

Well, I'm sorry there is a big truth there. I'm who, what, where, when, and where around the home. Then new things are added and the when and the where change slightly and then the you who are slightly different. The what is constant. The what can not be different. All the stalling and fighting and stupidness of the last century, let's say. Ended up with about a 4.2 second delay in the time it took me to complete my quest to know who I was. Finding out what is going to be something.

People might be wondering. How could you not know what? They might be thinking I've seen some freaky shit man, but when it comes to you... Never have I seen such a freaky thing. True, being freaky is me. As we go on you'll probably find that I'm freakier and freakier than you. A real droid.

What contains personality as well though. What contains more than just what I've done. What is what I am. To Humanity God is the universe the stars, all that we're in, what we've come from and what we become.

Yes, that is something I've made. It's not necessarily what I am. The totality of me, is far beyond what has been this universe for so very long. What contains, some of me far before life. What contains some of me far after life. What flows though life and truly touches very little of what this life containing Universe is.

For you who though, What is very important. Just like my journey to discover who. You too are on a journey to discover who you are. When you discover who you are off and on, until finally you know who you. I hope it is as much fun.

My life on the discovery to who has been the greatest. Not once has anybody who has appreciate my gift ever treated me wrong or caused me any grief or disrespect. Never not once. On the other side against life. I can calmly say that they tried and did not win. Pathetic creatures that would try at nothing to make me feel angry and hate my friends.

You take what I just said up there about trying to find out who you are while I discover what. That's what your life going to be a bit what. You want to get along with people a little bit better, try de-age-afing yourself.

There your going to be though, I hate to make you paranoid. Finding out who you are. Other people want to know who. People from good families. They have a daughter, your someones’ son. Maybe so far you haven't done too much, like your parents are too tight. So it might not just be me what, whom wants to know if your a person who is trying to get to where. Remember where for you; Why and How for me. Another truth that you might find interesting... is that if me taking an interest in your life seems exciting and more strengthening than an average day. When the right person starts thinking of you, you probably think that's it's me, God almighty thinking strange desirous thoughts about you. It'll be them though. The person of your dreams. She'll have finally connected the dots, or she'll be astro-wanking and the mind will drift into the right person, maybe from behind a guy at the counter or something and then wham-mo. It's not just you you care about, it's them too, you want more.

Like I care about this universe. That's the feeling it can be. Maybe not right away. Maybe not the first time. The interest though. Romance entanglement. The biggest of the bigs for most people.

The Job

The Job my Job, what are you going to do?

What baby, what are you? I mean it man what are you? What did you do what did you do while God was finding himself. Is it a mission from God? Did you fall into a TV reality. Or did you just click that on when you where tired. Is it your life or are you your own past time. When did becoming yourself become your own past time.

What Did I Do While Finding Out What Was You?

My first thought this mourning. While I wonder for those that wonder if God is sleepy in the morning. Is How many people had to know who was in order for me to know who. A shame really to those that had to be told who I was. a person might have thought very bad of God. Then someone comes along and tells them it's me. Very Bad.

The weather, how's the weather going to be. I'd hate to live in a place where the tourist are more important than the rest of the population. How stupid can a country or town be. Year after year treating your citizens as being not as important as these visitors who come. Really most places that indorse such activity also require their citizens to treat the people better than they would their own family. It's sick. The only reason I could see to travel that way is to visit relatives that a person hasn't seen in a long time.

If you've ever been in a city that's hosted one of those big tourist events you can see it every where. The trees are sick from all the metal in the air. The super structures. Half their low end population looks like they've been fucked by the "new" richy rich. The upper end looks like they caught A.I.D.S.

Economically their screwed. Don't believe me visit Sydney in a few years. They spend so much trying to cover it up. City to city. Town to town. That in the end, their really only making it worst. N.A.S. that's going to be worst. Faster perhaps, might take a little less time, but hey hey. They had to have it their way. In their minds there is no way that God is right. Can not be, will not be, They can not except the program.

Stupid people living out stupid lives. Life goes on. Those that admit life is hard, go on and have great lives. Ever been to one of the cities of talked about. Seen them at the cafes. Hanging their asses right out into the street. That's not what I'm talking about. Real life, real fun, real enjoyment. Being their long enough watching them die. There's the party. Like around here. One building after another. More and more people. Like watching a enlarged meat grinder carrying your troubles away.

It's a good time. Gee's now that you think about it, while most cities are probably going gee gosh it's back to the eighties, yea hah !!! We can definitely say. Thank fuck. Thank fuck it ain't the eighties. I can imagine what that must have been like. Your not God. You've got to make the connections. Someone bumped into someone or something then they're carted off. Over and over again. The religious freaks are making out okay, but not as good as you would think.

Etc.

At least where we are we're happy it's 2003. I mean shit. Have you been to if one more person says, "just like the eighties." or "the eighties are coming back." Don't you want them to die!!! I do I want them to die right away. That's the problem I've got to cool down I've got to let them die naturally. Real disease, real instant, real pain and injury.

Oh, I'll let you know someday how I found this free time. Anyway back to the N.A.S. This is funny I know... There are more miracles going on than ever before. The greatest, but these are the freakiest. Is this a miracle. Sure eventually. There is a movie out with the disease N.A.S. in it. Then I'm watching the lasted "they suck I'm the real deal..." on the Tele. For something to do they put on a band called you guessed it, "NAS".

The bands like. I feel a vibe, do you feel a vibe. I'm freaken, I mean freaken. No I don't run around and stuff. I don't have enough money. Latter like the next day, I'm at the mall. Sure enough I look under Rap/R&B and there it is NAS. Not just one album or two albums but about four. Fucken rocken

I don't have the time or the money to get into a new band right now. That's great. I'll by them latter, when they are done making albums.

Anyway I thought it was fun.

Lousy Music.

What up with Dat? Anyway I just thought I’d tell you the one about the musicians that sucked. There’re weren’t any and it was all fine and Good. Then we were thinking though. Why not have musicians that sucked and everything. It’d be cool we could make fun of them and stuff and then when their women come onto us we could scream because you call that a come on. I’m dying hear. I’m wondering if your psychologically damaged or something. What do you do next all get together naked and stare at each others backs.

Fuck. Your lucky to have you looks when you do, you could end up with no one with you ever. The cloths coming off was enough for me. You see that lack of soul there. I was there the dream the she’s right hot the beauty the whole fucken thing. The choice in men should have been my first clue.

Sex-droid twelve reporting. Last scene in trolling for dollars. "I wonder, could she have A.I.D.S. yet." Sheesh A.I.D.S. she’s lucky if the whole on the inside of her crotch don’t attract strange unknown things from the corner of my mind.

Then again could be verbal abuse.

Ahhhh death it seems everybody wants me to talk about death. All right death everybody dies goes onto the after-life. Those that don’t end up in hell purgatory or other strange neurotic places of my mind go to eternity. We’re there really are only a few people who might totally fuck up and think they are permanent. Those and those that follow them will go to the after-life. To be sent to hell purgatory or any other strange place I can think to send them on their way.

I know that might not be the big death talk we’re talking about. I hope to get to that latter. I really do. You’ll find I’m really just discovering what that is all about. Sure I know a bit about the who of it. That’s right upstairs there where I just wrote.

But the what the what is coming and it seems to me that they want the what right there the whole fucking thing right near the beginning so I’ll be tired and week near the end. That might happen you never know. It’s possible too that that I might enjoy a rerun or two that I might enjoy hearing the same song again. That I might want to enjoy the same parting the same separation. The joy of the universe being better either way. The joy of the universe being way (the-fuck) better either way not so much of that these days. Same old same old. Never a dull moment. That sort of thing.

Like that big pinball scene in the sky. I’m know what I am. You might fight you might try not to know who you are. Fight too hard though and I’m going to kill you. The thought, "Death does the killing." That’s what. I could eat that with a worm. No, death is change same as always. The earth always changes. When the leaves fall in fall. When the river reaches the sea. Bugs in winter fruits in fall. Everywhere and everything that person used to do, say hello to, kiss hello and good-bye. Are all changed. Things that a person moves around a house. The air they breath. The candles they lit. The place where they bought their pizza from.

All different from one persons death. Now if you want to know what my life is like. Many people die all over the world. Different numbers in different cities all affecting everything that goes on. Those stories of all the lives all the thoughts all the money all the air they breathed changed.

Those are stories of those that are left changed fitting into other stories a little bit different than they did the day the hour the minute the moment before.

Never the same never to be swept under the rug. From the evilest fuck fuck; my personal Satan. To the friendliest super mom. Their lives have affected and changed those lives of the people they touched. It’s all caught up in the what we do.

You think your such a great delivery person you bring food to the little old ladies in a building maybe one of them is great. You’re the super greatest pizza delivery guy ever. Nothing could go wrong. Then all of a sudden she dies. Your now the guy who takes money to the misers up on the 6^th floor. You’re a shit.

Remember the shits up there earlier in the story the ones who go to hell. That’s what you are. Your life is based on what other people do. Your depending on the beautiful girl to always be there for you. Your just a peace in someone else cog. Living a life where the worst ting on earth is getting in an accident. Unable to face the reality that your life is stuck in AI created buy another man or me?

Because that nice women in that building or those students that need there floors waxed have to have work done. It’s not required that you go to hell. In reality though. You might want to keep in mind that real people have lived real lives. Your life of depending on who you help and when you help them is stupid. When you die you’re going to hell. Truthfully it’s nobodies business but mine who goes to hell or not.

Ohhh little worker man. That’s great we hope you do. We hope you work real hard. Remember though "hard work never got anybody anywhere," do you know what that means. It means that you can work hard all you’re life, good job and everything, and still go to hell.

Going on to eternity, or staying eternal really. Is based more on who you help. Now your not aloud to look at anybody’s soul or anything like that. Getting paid to help people though it’s a great job it’s great work. No though it do not affect who’s going to hell or not. You see I make those decisions and while your clinging to your job of the helper bee. I’ll laugh my ass off should you die. I’ll think it was the biggest joke in the fucking world.

How’s that I’m new at this….

Heh heh heh.

I Thought You Meant Death

You meant what’s it like to kill. Well I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you. I mean it’s kind-a like on of those fight things. Like if you want to get into a fight. The best thing to do is find someone else who is looking for a fight. Then you two and or four or three fight and if no one gets killed it’s called a fight.

Killings different. In the situation above you could call that killing which it is in a court of law. As far as weather or not it is to kill though no it is not the same as killing. Me killing different. As, I also do the judging. Anybody or people I would have to kill are at a huge disadvantage. I can just skip the killing and go about with the judging. Judging is easy. Ohhhh did you live a good life. Did you save all your fuck ups till the very end. That’s too bad I really feel for you. Decided to bug a friend or bug a brother. No sorry I got this place though it’s hot. You’d like it. It’s the bomb!!! Ohhh you might have to relive the same mistake over and over again though. No sorry that’s the best I can do. It’s that easy.

Shit half you people never did too much anyway.

Got to shut it down I hear the bathroom calling.

Music.

I was just at a record shop and we were talking about music. Ahhh what a relief. We talked about punk-rock music. Not my favorite. I’m playing some right now. Fun though. How with enough movement, enough interest is generated and that interest can become enough to get some financial mojo going.

Once you got some mojo going then your really "in trouble". Then you have a chance to get out-a dodge. Get out-a dodge is an old expression. It means like in those old wild west movies. You know your life is pretty much heading towards a bullet in the head or an untimely death of one kind or other. Then when you get your mojo going there is a chance for one or two or a few of you to actually do something with your life.

Rare, but sometimes it happens.

Music though, sometimes it does happen though, like right now there are a few people trying to get something going on in "the scene." The scene is another expression, you might find out what that means if you live long enough.

Anyway, one of these groups is like the closed group. You’ve all seen it. You can only go to their shows only their music are you supposed to listen too etc.

In the other camp(s) as far as I can tell you have a choice. You can go to their shows, The other peoples shows. So far that’s it though. "The scene", around here is stuck in a two or three choice sinerio

Maybe it’s the different night thing. Like you take this night and we’ll take this night and eventually there is something to do every night. One thing one choice each night. Just like when they were kids. Mom and dad telling them what they could do each night. Those are the choices.

My goal and I can guess, hint hint, that the goal of a lot of people is not to live the same life they had as a child.

It’s dull, boring and really cuts down on anything magical happening around here.

In my world there are at least three great things to do on any night for anybody. Some nights have multiple options.

One quick Canadian note. If your on the east coast and your wondering if there is a great scene out here to get into. No there isn’t it’s the same old sad we take mob money and complain about the lame turn out and "turn off" after the show.

On a lighter note there may be a few men who are sick of all the shit. Who might decide to travel in there journey to find who.

I hear you over there on the coast. You gorgeous women. Begging for it. Let me tell you the truth though. If my women wasn’t here I would have moved there long ago.

Ohhh yeah one last note from the men out here. Don’t fall for "slow mo mocam and the boys" as Saint Johner’s, Saint Johner’s they ain’t.

Why I Seem Not To See Romance

I don’t seem to see romance because I’m the type of guy who sees the romance when I’m with the chick. You know when I think about it. I see the romance every time I’ve ever really thought about her. Being with the same woman for ever and ever. Like man to you that might sound bad or ruff, but to me that is the balls to the wall the be all end all, and what it is all about.

I mean fuck, If your like me you’ve wondered the pre-universe for ever always searching for something permanent. Pre-matter. Pre-thought really but something something that you can cling onto when it’s all falling down. Something you can hold onto when it’s good or ruff. A person you can hold up when when things are great there right there it’s all permanent it’s not going to change. Love. Ideas concepts. Pre-eminent thought. Always been there always will.

These concepts thoughts are older than the universe. Love hope dream desire. Ever heard of the concept of hope. Well those that think it’s there private little word for hell are going to have real troubles real problems. I mean it man. I’m sick of the under-ground sick of all there wining about being the same shit in a different pile. No they are not. The only problem with the people with badges or rights to kill is that they think it gives them a free ride.

The other side the other side has no badges is fighting to get wasted and looks at their kids like there some sort of feed for their local hit-man to warm up on before they get to the big one.

Concepts Before Time.

Yes well this is the book of what, so I’ll have to get into the before the thought of man others life things of a God but not God.

I’ll have to get into that a little or it wouldn’t be much of a what now would it. Before there was you there was plenty for one thing let me tell you. I’ve taken baths more interesting than my entire life. The ideas I was sort-a hoping to get into though were those of love thoughts desires. What’s the big Cahuna to me. The big cahuna to me it like an entire world might be interesting in like a few years you know every body who made it. Everybody I’d care to see. And I run the whole thing.

Before time there where concepts like spheres. "let’s make planets," that sort of thing. "cubes, what’s a cube?" sugar. That sort of thing. What will we hold it up with? "space" that sort of thing.

Just me, me all alone. The worst life ever; it was not. Quite a bit of fun actually. A ball. A party. Of course you mother (grandmother) might not have been there. She might not have meant much to me, but what does she mean to you. Eh? That’s the fucken question. Did she raise you to spit on Christ at the mall. You would think so. The way some of them act. Don’t let the new Mob rule you or your thoughts, give them as little time as possible. Do not concern yourself with them.

If there is a new school, a no school and an old school, which there is, then they are dead school.

How to live, how to survive, how to enjoy life versus how t kill yourself. Humma I wonder who is going to win. I mean it’s like right complicated.

The simplicity of the fool.

It’s cool though, I dig Jesus. Because he makes the chicky poohs come around. I mean who the fuck are these people. Are we to believe they will obtain lives. Was it something cool to say in front of the parents, or was it a way to rip you off at the mall.

Really anybody. Anybody here ever hang out with some rich parent dicks and not get ripped off. Anyone, I mean did you get a free book after the parents invested in the album or movie you like before it was released.

Remember when it all comes down there entire life as cards they’re going to want to blame it on you. It’s going to come down to them blaming you or God. God is a person too he has enough shit on his hands for any person to handle.

So there is will be blame God for something you do. Or take responsibility for your actions.

My being responsible is not laughing too hard at them as they all caught A.I.D.S. and died.

Ahhhh cadets that’s were the real fun was.

Excuse me I just had a space cadet moment. Like us yesterday. When I like most people drifted into a world we’re it was like everybody listened. Now I know you people make fun of me for not carry about shows and stuff like that like you want me too.

I care I care about having something to talk about. Like if you blind or deaf or you know or care about someone who is or does. Then you should give them a call or help them out. This is way beyond the normal shit. They got cheesy motherfuckers trying to get them to deliver their cheesy mother-fucker shit. They most have lost their main dealers somewhere. They’re looking for some people with no eyes, no ears, and truthfully with a fine sense of smell.

I mean what was it man the K.G.B. what took them out. Was it you was it me? You think they know, you think they’d believe. Nah not me. Never try to make sense with a person who is trying to be a potato. They’re not very good at it. But they try really hard.

Time before matter.

That’s how I guess. Nothing more. What is more about what I can do, what I’m really like. Is he really up tight. Private person. Am I shy. Verily complicated. It, verily, means, sometimes I’m complicated and sometimes I’m the most easiest person to get along with. Verily like if math went from 3 to 7 then there was an x and x could equal from 3 to 7 then that would be a very verily x. an x that went from 3 to 6. Well you get me. You do the math.

It’s that simple. Life is that simple. I must go one. Shy no complicated. Fuck yes. Actually if you look at physics all alone, I guess you could tell that I’m very extremely complicated. Then someone will come along and solve a big one and hey it’s still calculus to some people but to many I’m less complicated.

The physics of electricity moving through something very small. Compute. He he. I care I really care I really do. I hear your sad. I hear your lonely. I know you care. For something like that to change takes time though. People aren’t robots there not machines. You want real change non of that fake shit. Then you got to wait, cause there are people out there just like you. Waiting hoping dreaming to meet someone like you.

Time what is time when you have all the time in the world to time. Could it be another way to get with me. That’s what it’s all about. What’s with the differences with the different sides of me. They aren’t in conflict. Some people like some parts of me more than others and that is what I’m all about.

I’m the friendly guy. The last time I check there was only one person on this earth I came into it wanted to screw. I changed that they sold out. Onto the bigger better life. Esperanto, I’m all done. Would I go back to someone who sold out. Fuck no!!! They’ll do it again it worked out so good the first time.

Remember if all they have left is you taking them back to complete their version of the perfect life. Then they’ve probably done stuff that no cow would forgive and they sure the hell didn’t put you on the top of their list. So could it possibly be that some mad ass woman has separated you from her in order to get with her.

Mad ass, mad ass mad ass.

Hahhah hahhh hahhha hha. The hardest thing old school freaks have to do is not laugh in their face. And if you have a badge, not a fake one, you really don’t even have to do that.

Nature

So far in my life I love nature more than any man or woman I’ve ever met. To the point of structures made out of natural substances. I don’t have to say I don’t know what it is. I know what some of it is. Some of it is the being alone thing. Many people might say that God is all alone when he is all alone. No actually sometimes I’m so never alone it would freak some "young" people out.

Being alone in nature though is the biggest. There is a people who understand me. Peace. Real peace non of that fake ass shit. Real peace is like the summer morning when you see the rabbit on the way to being killed. You know he’s done something wrong. His clan has forsaken him. He no longer exists to them almost to his or hers very mother. Off he goes to destroy the morning calm. The killing of him might take till late in the afternoon. He’ll go though, and the woods will go on. It’s peaceful in the morning. No one wants to here from the humans. I’m a freak. How did you know I was God. How do they know. Like I said I’m the freak.

I get to experience the, "You really are you." It’s not just fake. The real deal. Fun Bri. Interstellar-Bri. Right there in the woods. Fun!?? You ain’t seen fun, if the woods outside of a nuclear power plant can remember me, What’s your excuse.

Like if you had a long lost friend and you hadn’t seen them in a long time. Especially if you met them when you where an adult. They show up and guess what. They’re the same. A little bigger that summer. A little more pumped up. There though, the personality they fell in love with.

That’s the way it works the whole fucking thing, my mind. I build things and if they love me they are a "keeper". Like the forest the trees. Even annoying little bugs.

Love is a two way street for most of you. All of you really. But me, that’s what. I build things, some that move and shake. And if they fall in love with me. I keep them They’re keepers, should they pass away or fall away, I’ll find them. There is no other way.

Here’s a glimpse at my personality, for younger people out there. Not once have I met a bad, I use the word bad, person who loved me. I’ve seen a few rotten fruit on a bad day. But never never has a bad person ever loved me. It would go against they’re very nature.

Fake it in public. Make others think they feel that way. That shits as old or older than the house I’m living in.

I mean I’ve seen people command whole armies to their very rotten death, all based on them, that man convincing them that I loved him. That I reached down from heaven and loved him. No I’m some sort-a weird-o… freak. Humanity just like the woods. That’s the world we are heading too.

If you’ve ever been there ever hunted ever tried to grab the wrong fish. I can tell you it’s a scary experience. They no like. To go in there and try to take wom-enthing out that doesn’t want to be taken out. Not good ain’t going to happen. Just like in the real world. It gets worst and worst. Don’t try and learn about evil. It wont help you and it sure the _______ wont help me.

Ever seen dear cross the road when you have time to drive slow. To really pause the car and see them lead their young across the road. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that care out of a human being. Not once so far in my life.

Maybe it comes from licking each others arses. Who knew. A sense of humor too. They like it tough. They live in packs. They care about each other. Failure is failure. Just like in the real world.

Ahh Real Life

I’ve made a decision that affects a whole lot of countries. The three closest countries will now behave as if I said now right away, must change to say. There’s probably about forty offices world wide going, Great, excellent. Something to do with the day. But no we have to listen to traitor. The liar of faith. He'’ wicked ways, because of this because of that. No Dude real God real personality.

You ever notice how many people walk up to me like they have my time clock or like they talk to me like I’m their wife, or worst husband, or just don’t know how to behave. God dude. That’s right no bouncing it off the TV, no other excuses or things. Just God. You talk to him/them like they’re God. If your having your holy day please avoid me. I’m a very holy person but You’d be a where. Because technically I could be having a holy minute too. Might be healing the sick in a foreign country or something like that.

You never know what a mind like mine is up too. You never do. I might be dreaming about how. Bob and betty get themselves out of the double death trap or I might be thinking. No shit that’s like asking a guy to walk a mile on a tight-rope. I’ll come up with something different. Shit if your escape someone else with the woman you love then I better have Them all covered eh!? All the possibilities. One chance what are we supposed to do, wear tights.

The Elaborate Cover

I have no cover. I’m what you call a spy or an agent. The smartest thing I’ve ever seen a country do. Make me not an Israelite. "King of Israel" coming though" Yes in most countries I’m God and that’s it. It’s fun, if you haven’t clued in yet. I love being God. Kindness I love people who are kind. Kind and love me, you’re a keeper. Now as I was saying. I have a real job in my country and that my friend is smart. Excellent couldn’t be brighter. I’m also God here. Being God’s been my secret identity so long it’s almost as much fun blowing that cover as it is being God. Now most counties get the God and that’s good that great.

Kind each and every day. Sometimes being kind is staying home and making the suffer. So that is that the rest of the world is pretty much stuck with me being God. If I see your country it will be as a person on vacation and I better be treated that way. God, down, and on with the beauty that makes your country great.

Why is your country great. What makes it not the country beside it. Why is your country the greatest. What makes a Canadian drewl on a bad day and go yeah we got the sun on a Good day.

I’m in heaven!!? Well shit the last time I checked you were in heaven too. Sorry it couldn’t be perfect, sorry it’s not everything you’d hoped it be. Of course I’m not finished. I’ve got thoughts about things. People who ascended. How are they going to get a S.I.N. were do they find employment. We’ve got real problems, real life. Real things going on.

I mean shit you think it’s all over and we’re done and we pack it up and go home. I know your used to taking the lose. Used to me being kidnapped. Beat on shipped somewhere and returned in a paper back.

All those passes cards and rules. Great shit. But where is the average citizen in such a world. Illegal citizen ship. That’s what it looks like. I mean some serious fucken workers here. Real people who’ll love real rules. All that’s great.

In case the world hasn’t noticed. It’s the year 2003 A.D. here and well you need to realize that I think it’s great that your clean up after world war two. Mean while though even in kidnappedtivaty I’m moving on going forward. Real life must continue. Who’s waiting for them. The people who break the rules. Shit they can get you a job a roof over your head in no time.

We’ll wait. I know I’d wait. Of course will I wait forever. No. That’d be stupid. Will I wait a week a month a year. What will go on in that time. Are the people who look after those things going to be so busy looking at their TV or out their window to do their work. Shit man there’s no need for new departs and special services for that stuff. Real persons in real jobs going. Yeah I can handle this but I need more.

You start from the top like in any company and you work your way down. Till the lowest person at that office knows what’s going on. What’s going down.

Real life real miracles. The hardest part the average citizen has around here is realizing that if they haven’t seen a miracle in a week; they still have to know what miracles can take place. Magic nature call it a butt wipe if you have to.

In this city sometimes the hardest thing is to realize that miracles other than people disappearing do exist. Might seem strange. Might be the bizarrest thing you’ve ever seen. Maybe even the smile of the right girl on an otherwise lost to "the man" day.

What Is God?

What am I. Let me see. I’m a person place and thing. I move so I guess I’m a verb too. Do I do things While I move yes. So I guess I’m an adverb. Do I change my mind about things. Yes I guess I do that too. Even about what happened if you look it that way. So I guess I’m a conjugating as well.

People know of me they follow who I am. So I guess I guess I’ve got personal pronouns as well. Interesting isn’t it. Is there anything left really. I’m all those things and yet there were people who would try to find the thing I can’t do and fit that into their life. Gee’s there really isn’t that much time left for them.

Even with the day Job, I have more rights than anybody else in this city. Include the God factor in that and I guess your pretty fucked. Not much I can’t do. You might ask if God can do so many of those things, how come I can’t… fly or something? Well just because I can do something doesn’t mean you can do it. That would be silly. I’d never try and do something like that. Would I. Nah that’d bee silly. Like if I made a world once were everybody was equal. Then in time even in that world I’d start to stand out. I’d become slightly more powerful and different. Almost as if what I was was what I was and no matter what I did it wasn’t going to change that.

Funny really. There’ve been three of those other worlds. They all failed. The goal or idea of being just another human being is unknown to me. Stupid, no! Not stupid just a being out there in space trying to make friends. Make friends sounds kind-a strange when you think about it. But yes I’ve tried it. And some of the stuff we enjoy here is a result of it. What is a light bulb if you were the only person in the world if not a friend. What are toys to a child, friends? Mostly for me at least. Not because I don’t have any friends, but because that is what life was like for a while. (for me.) me and the other light bulbs hanging around trying to be each others friends. I know sounds dumb sounds stupid. But hey it worked. We had a good time.

A car, a way to get from point a to b. What is that if not a combination of friends. How are the light bulbs and the machines getting along. Probably not that well. They weren’t designed for you. They were designed for us all hanging out.

We used to be metal. We were all bond together and we moved and changed shape and became different shapes. But of course though in time. There were no sections or pieces. Let’s say an area grew different than the rest and well it wasn’t good because that metal wasn’t designed to have any differences. When the differences showed up it went against the master designer. The master designer was inside the metal and there wasn’t time from the master designer to inform them that I was the master designer. So it fucked up. Ate it self you name it. "Not Good"

Then there was adventure. I made myself so different that I would stand out in a crowd of anybody on any planet. How’d that work out. Not as bad actually. I could get laid to save a heep. Sex wasn’t invented. We just basically went around killing each other. Good times. Of course eventually it had to end. In a concept that was based entirely on, to kill, well can you imagine. I was pretty good. I knew what I was doing? Doubtful. One slice of my blade and whole army disappeared. So then it was off to see a king I should have said the king. Anyway he wanted to learn how his troops (they called them men), back then. Could do the same. I knew I was God, but I knew it would never be the same. So what did I do I refuse to tell any body. I waited till me and my friend were all alone and I told him. It killed him. End of program. I had forgotten or couldn’t remember, because of the pressure, of the king what the kill switch was. So nope that was it telling them I was God was the kill switch and I told my friend and he died. All hell broke loose. And I was far enough away that I died a merciful death.

I guess I won. I guess I did come up with the concept of friend. I knew what it was and I went packing. I mean some serious kick ass planning. This world might have been built in seven days. Check out light, hint hint. But the planning. That’s what all this waiting for things like flying, well I don’t know if you’ll fly. That’s what’s taking so long for stuff like that though. I know it seems like a long time to some and to others,,, no it’s a long time. Well that’s the thought though. A lot of planning. A lot of knowing were I’m going to be. A lot of people might have tried to stop me. But that wont happen. For one thing the time reset takes about 1.3 seconds so you can imagine how long it really takes me to be able to do all this with a couple of sticks and a pair of tweezers.

Remember I didn’t give up on the "bulbs" I didn’t give up on metal. The adventures though. I’d have to say that’s were friends were created. Of course since the creation of sex, romance, and rock and roll. Everything should be all right.

Language. Did I say adventure. I meant to say language.

Heh, heh silly me. I hope that didn’t start any fights.

I’m caught In A Mystery

Well I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I put the first part of this book up there on the web. It seems like a lot of people think I’m done. Sad really I’d only just begun to talk about my self. You see though I’m caught in a mystery. Many babies are being conceived. Many thoughts are being consumed.

What else can I say. One God for ever and ever. Not yet. "I ain’t all there." I’m just past who on my way though what. I think I might have a personality split. Maybe I could get myself to listen to Lizard. Ripped in half. It’s, "to me" a song about when you racing, trying to get a lot of things done. The all of a sudden you hit upon a choice that has two choices and you feel about 50% towards either way.

Funny really. If you ever get there sober it’s quite sombering. I had one once were I paused for many a moment. Time minutes. Drifting by. I could have easily thought of many thoughts or possibilities. The thoughts though just kept going over and over though. I chose to look at them that way. Quite fun. Ripped in half. Sometimes having any choice at all back in the eighties would leave a person ripped in half.

For now I’m ripped in many particles. Floating voids forming shape and becoming the wishes and substances need to get a few people through an otherwise difficult situation.

Ahhhh peace.

Autobiography

Autobiography. Nah this can’t be that. I can’t do the auto biography. I gave it a go once and what I discovered was this. It would take me about ten pages to sum up a night I had over ten years ago.

That’s a lot of writing. For anybody. That was not even the most interesting or entertaining evening. So there there will be no autobiography. I hope you, my loyal fans get a kick out of the movies and some of the books out there about me. Like the fake auto biographies. The This is how God thinks and acts movies. Truthfully I hope they sink. I hope they sink ships and vessels. Me I know who I am, I don’t need to see some carneis version of who I am paraded all over the television or the movie screen.

Last time I check hitler was the only one who made movies like that. Let’s leave it there. Let’s leave it in the past.

Evil folks, evil. Last time I checked I wasn’t evil. By the modern definition. Any Knight, Any warrior with a badge and a gun would be considered evil. People who fight for freedom. Ideals a country holds dear. They’re not evil. Their right.

I can only hope that your discovery of who I am, while your involved in the who you are is as fun for you as it was for me. What is fun eh. Finding out you can crawl yourself out of a murder hole and smile about it the next day. Passing your drivers license. The screaming agony as you know you’ll miss the next turn and you’ll find your self frozen in time. Wondering what the fuck anybody ever taught you about life. Did they know life were they ever alive. Maybe that’s the difference.

I can imagine what it’s like to be human. I know you all so well, but it’s not the same as being human. Faith!? Not being human is about floating. It’s about finally being able to be cold. It’s about floating and disappearing and coming back. And maybe next time having time to get a bag of chips for someone you love.

What Am I? What Is God.

You see yes, I’m caught up in something pretty big here. The biggest of bigs if you ask me. In the middle of it right while it’s going on though. I’m becoming myself. Everything God is. Every love fiber of my being. Everything that makes God God I’m becoming. That’s just the what, wait till we get to where. It’ll be fun.

You see I’m very glad to stay here, and I’m sure there are a lot of theories about what people are made of and how it relates to God. Like going way back and all that. The truth is though. My existence is so different than yours. Ill always be more different. Is becoming more different and apparent everyday.

Real fun just like in the real world. They’ve been trying to destroy this party for so long. Like your son’s and daughters birthdays. How they try and crush those simple joys’ by trying to take them away. Me, though, God. I know when you see your son up there working or raising kids of their own. I know that your "freaking out" as we say.

You’re a success. I know that’s a terrible word these days. That’s what it is when you’ve done that you’ve succeeded. Maybe your of the other camp though. You’ve had a son or daughter switch over. Don’t give up. Until we shoot the fucker and the bodies been blown off the face of the earth or they are dead. If you don’t have a "badge and a gun." Don’t give up.

I’ve seen addicts quit more stuff than the biggest addicts. It can be done. Until then though. It’s another dollar. Another bit of information. More movement all on the other side. And they will lose.

Who raised you, how did you get by. I can only hope that the generations to come that have the huge advantage of me being here, "long time". Live up to our hope of what they can become. They aren’t gong to have as long to make their mistakes. They are going to have too many friends to hang out with over there on the "dark" side.

I ramble though. What is it about rambling. You know I was thinking something absolutely funny last night. I’ve been going on about how much I love myself. True. The it occurred to me. I don’t actually talk about myself too much. It’s at most a story I’ve done. Or a story about someone else told though a song they did or the neighborhood they are from.

I’m thinking to myself. I must talk about myself sometime. I’m not just a series of commands. Then we’re going out to the car and I’m doing it while thinking about it. I’m talking about the record done then or the thought I had then. Now I’m thinking that maybe it’s the time of year. So I’m looking forward and thinking about all I’ve heard or been through. Funny really.

Maybe your thinking if I stayed with the right woman long enough I might change that. I mean maybe. I think that ship sailed though. I mean my mind alone is "C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D". I can’t image, the things I’m going to have to worry about with her.

First. I have to worry about not blowing her face off with my exhalation. The not to burn her face off with my voice. Spontaneous movement. Have to be careful about that. Once in a while I have a thought, rarely really rarely. Usually I have thoughts. You could choose to look at them as a series of thought but they are really usually just a thought that is more than one thought. Then I suppose there are thoughts that are a series of thoughts that are a serious of individual thoughts. An I guess it’s possible to surmise that these thoughts can be verying number for the individual ones or strength for the others.

So my breath, my voice, my solidness. My mind bending need to know the truth about my self. To very mystery… Can you see me with a woman that had to here the end of every thought I expressed. I’d never get to take a breath.

The other two things I can think of off the top of my head; One is the fact that I move around very fast. I’m very careful about the floor and that sort of thing. I don’t necessarily have to make sudden moves. And moving important things when she’s in the can will just have to be something I start to do.

The other thing I was going to mention was the idea that I can, emphasis on can, change the speed or the topic I’m talking about very fast. Like motron fast.

Well maybe not motron fast.

The other one and I can not emphasize this one clear enough. Is the fact I mean flip fucken real fact, know when I’m listening to a bad idea. Like if she was to come in with a bad idea for a trip or the date of the trip or a bad location, on vacation or something like that. I know it. I mean I flip fucken freak know it.

Never have I even to my knowledge even slept with someone who understood this. It’s like the master of I love you I love you turns into the ugly monster from down the street. Nothing worst. Ho yeah and I’m always right.

That doesn’t mean that when I’m hanging out at a shop or a sitting place. What we call the village in the modern world. That I always let them know the truth about their thoughts our their actions. I think even that I’m getting use to this idea that I might let them seem to be right about something. It might make me feel better.

I don’t know what that’s like. In fact I hope I don’t know what a lot of things are like from a human perspective. I’m not human. Nope not me. Not human. God.

Me God. I know I’m a one woman man I know it. Because if you look at the causes of divorce in a normal straight world and you take the things I’ve’ talked about. Too perfect always right. About everything etc. Then you can guess what it’s like to be around a person who tries to be that way.

Okay perfect, I mean it’s not always easy to be perfect in bed. It’s going to happen things are going to go off before, like you’d want them to etc.

Ohh the stuff I could tell you not form my personal experience. The things I know the dark hidden secrets of the couples that stay together. Sex smexes let’s get down to the booty.

I will now insert a picture in an effort not to ostracize the other half of the human race.

Me, Me, Me

We will pause soon in this book of mine for "the laws" of relativity to catch up. It’s fun to discover what I am. I think it is fun. Was it fun to discover who I was. NO fuck no. It wasn’t fun at all. You made it not fun. People tried very purposeful to make it not fun. A rich persons birthday was spoiled. Hey let’s fuck over Jesus for the bad birthday. What the fuck he’s only Christ you know shit like that. Bye bye, just the way I like it.

You have no idea how much I hate people like that. Absolutely hate them from the biggest brightest human to the lowliest of trees straight down to the center of the earth. People and people like them.

Anyway that’s about as much time as I spend on my hate. But if your reading this and your countries all dried up. Lie a desert or something. Or there are too many hills to cross. You better keep that in mind I never forget.

I mean fuck I’ve got storms brewing for people yelling at my window. It was fun to find out who. And I’m not just talking about a name here. We’re talking the real deal. Like reading the bible and you know it's’ me. And I like look at the world and go. Shit, I am just as strong. Even stronger, some of that stuff used to take twenty, ten years. Now fuck half the death going on is instant. I don’t get it. (well I do). Over here they blame it on TV. What’s the excuse over there. I mean I can see a few dinks praying for the cold to come back for a joke or something. But like say I take out a large farm land in Africa. I don’t want to hear them wining about it for ten years. They did something wrong live with the consequences. Grow up. Pretending to be God. Todays, underground (hint hint) government. Is the most pathetic excuse for not living in the real world I’ve ever seen.

Anyway like I was saying that was discovering who. Like when I wrote in my book the plan. The high holy one. Like me up on a hill. All by myself. That is what it was like. Why didn’t I tell my friends I knew. Because I didn’t trust half of them and I didn’t trust the other half of them around the ones I didn’t trust.

Anyway, who what a hoot. What though. I don’t know seems a little different. For one thing it seems like our countries getting it ands back. Don’t fuck with a Canadian they said. They used to like that, the friendliest people on earth. For that reason alone they shouldn’t be fucked with. I mean that’s "old school"

What am I, girlfriend, good-guy fun. So much fun you don’t want to fuck with it. I mean shit if it’s wrong to fuck with a friendly, what’s it like to fuck with a good friendly person like me. Not good.

I just thought of something funny. You know how I was going on about my early attempts at life. You should have seen the fun I used to have before all this. I mean one time I’m there and I decide to invent this wheel thing that the more it "spun" the more "joy" I’d feel. Of course I didn’t put a brake on the thing. Sure enough. I mean fuck I like fun, but this thing just kept going and going. Turn it off I’d of said but who would have heard.

Don’t get me started on the attempt to shift to pain to get the thing to stop. Fuck funny. Hey, I guess I used to swear a lot back then. I trying to think of a really funny one. Okay fire before there was anything to burn besides myself. That was funny. Of course I didn’t stay gone for long.

I practiced Kung-fu on my own for thirty years. Cool, think about it I hadn’t seen a girls ass so it wasn’t like I’d thought of much else to do with my time. It’s weird though. Do you think it was associated with that first disappearing thing. No the third one. And I’m not even talking about the third try language thing.

It was adventure, trust me. I know what I’m talking about. You see people start to think there are higher powers than me because I can’t see everybody I’d like to in the world at the drop of a hat. The truth is. My times sort of bound up here. You know, if like your at home and your waiting for your kid to come back. Maybe, I know this sounds like maybe I’m being tight with this, but maybe he’s on a list. Because it all relates to reality. Like dude, I know the expression I’ve seen some shit in my day, is becoming the coming place. But real life is I try my fucken hardest. That’s the truth. Every fiber of my being is based on I know I gave it what I had to give. Safely at home or starving in the woods. I know I love myself. Never wanted to do anybody any wrong. So I try and I think maybe there is a neater side to this TV generation, or what ever their excuse is. People aren’t walking up to me to ask them to reassemble there, let’s say, left kidney at the drop of a hat. I mean shit yes. It’s on the burner. All that sort of thing. But you’ve got to stop paying the man. Go back to being regular, go back to being normal. No extra money for them. If I find a way to find and reanima-teleportate your kid back to you. Beat the shit out of them for putting though such shit to begin with.

Humor warning; try not to cut off a limb though, it might have taken me all night to re-animate that thing.

Ohh if our reading this off the internet or something like that. And the format is different than what I first put it in. It as I type it is like one side of those old testament bibles.

The real deal, real God writing the real bible.

Ohh yeah, crapulence crapulence look out for the crapulence. I invented new words before and I can do it again. So don’t push me. I can take being me. Can you take not being necessary. I decided to undo the idea of people helping crating this world. We all went and got jobs when you weren’t looking. Ha ha.

The jokes on you. It’s fun to be real fun to understand why we’ve been screwed over. I’d just like some other people to join me over here were we know it wasn’t the government and all that. Life is not fake. Let’s deal with it and move on with our lives.

And government and all that should try their very best not to fall for old stories from old drunks about how they are the chosen ones. Do I see someone crossing a boarder because they keep saying they are "the chosen one". Grow up.

Like the bitch singing about lucky.. When the fuck did the Brittany Spears hour start running the show. It’s easy to se a world were just God runs the show. It’s as easy as one two three.

So we could try living by our own rules. I mean if you could see the phoning between the filthy rich. I use the world wisely. It’s like watching a bunch of fourteen year olds talking about wanking to Jesus. But they don’t know the words so they just talk and giggle. That’s a lot of fun when you are young but when young are older. You know an din charge of things with real responsibilities. Then it’s time to behave that way. Like real live people living their real live jobs were they earn their real live pay checks. Or "get the fuck out-of dodge".

Ahh, Me, Beautiful Me.

Hi, You might have thought I got sick of talking to myself or that the "laws of Astor-physics" may have prevented me from writing anymore. Isn’t nice that almost all the people who where concerned about this law have gone out and made it worst or harder to continue. Jealousy. They are silly people.

Anyway I’ve already prevented most of what they thought would occur. So I may continue. What is out-there. What came before earth, what was the planning. I already mentioned the fire thing. I wonder what else. Tables chairs. Sure I guess. I don’t really remember sitting on any tables before earth though. Or light bulbs or time or any of those things. Just me. Me me me. Beautiful gorgeous me.

I must say I enjoy myself very much. I am a good person. I give people a chance at life. Many people take it. I enjoy giving people that chance. I once gave myself the gift of eternal life. In a shape. It was very fun for a very long time.

Of course there was the part about not being able to shut the me down. I turned into a lot of thoughts and emotions inside that thing. If a table or a chair gives you a lot of thoughts or emotions that I probably came up with them before too. In there though the only things that would give me thoughts or emotions were feelings.

Have you ever had a feeling. It’s quite fun. First take away anything solid or monetary giving you any thought. Than base your feelings on something someone emotional did. If you think any differently than you did before. Than you have had an emotion.

They flow from one person to the next. In the beginning if no one had an any emotion than you wouldn’t have any either. Unless I did of course. So I suppose you could be getting your emotion from an original source. Or from me. You might find that strange. I do not. I came prepared. I brought my own emotions just in case the emotions I’ve left behind have grown stale.

Anyway as I was saying about feeling or feelings. Say you felt a certain way about that emotion. Well that emotion that gave you feeling is I guess part of me learning what. Cause guess what. That’s me. Hate love passion sexual turn-on. The way the light makes a certain ass look totally hot and another ass look but naked but awful. That’s the light the moon the stars all turning around and dancing though-out time making one ass look better and one ass look wimpier.

Really quite a bit of fun. I enjoy bending light. I enjoy the entire process of being me. I am me. Well recently I’ve decided once again to make a female me. I wont tell you why.

We get together. And she tells me what she knows and well I’d say I tell her what I know but their really isn’t a her, I guess that would be stupid. So in the end we both know each other and you.

It’s funny really I know everybody every thing every fiber of everything in this universe and what it’s thinking. I know how this thought makes most of the week asses squirm. At least around here. I know I know, I know. Now I’m finding out what I can do. I’ve seen who I can do. Who was fun. I thought who was what I was going to be in a way. Now I’m getting into what.

Can you make me teleport? "sure Did you miss your sons birthday?" What birthday? Oh I guess you were too busy teleporting.

Sad really but hey if you think that is what life is all about. I thin if I was a human I’d ask what I might be missing by doing things the easy way all the time.

There are only two types of people who will be going to hell to be very honest. Those that find life too easy. And those that find life too hard.

Ohh did I make the world too hard for you today. Tell it to the judge. Did I make your life too easy. Tell it to my spine I’m sure it could do with the break.

Couldn’t give a fuck. Couldn’t give a fuck. I couldn’t say it as many times as I’d like to I couldn’t give a fuck.

Amen couldn’t give a fuck.

Of course many people give thanks everyday. For just the day sometimes. Many times it’s life. Many many things people thank me for are based on life. Food, warmth, rain.

Truth is though. Humanity could learn a lesion from earth. Thank me for ruling.. You know, as I was saying I love the earth. I love it’s natureific fun side. I love it’s weather beaten earthy side. But one thing I really love about it is it rules.

Even earlier today. A "raven" was chirping outside my window. It brought up this huge discussion about pigeons parks, crying, not talking about crying. Who’s crying. It rocked. I mean a couple of chirps, and you get all that. I think that is great. You know I was just talking to the earth about I really should be ruling it, not "ruling". Remember that old eighties expression "rules." Rules everything rules. Something harmful happens to someone you don’t like. That rules. You hear a great song with a girl you doing. That rocks. Funny I just thought of it that way again. Everything not quite right, with the wrong woman over and over for the rest of your life. That is funny.

Anyway rule. Rule. Rule. You really had to hear the earth though. It argued it’s point very well. Do I really rule it. We’re not talking about he people on it now or the plants or anything. I suppose at some micro point they do connect. Or do they!! Anyway as far as actually sunlight earth planets and alignments and all that I "rule" and the "ruling" does the ruling. Ever notice if God’s (me) is having a bad day the sun light everything really cuts down a little. I notice around here it’s a little more than usual. That has more to do with personal safety though. Anyway that’s that sorry about. But that stuff is ruling and when it’s not being ruled it doesn’t get ruled as well.

I can really see where this whole mother earth thing is from. Me being masculine and all. I suppose it must look like I’m fucking this thing most days.

Really though everything we see everything you are. Everything that is in the universe. It’s all in my mind. Except for the who. The what is almost here too. Then the when and the where will be in my mind a thought I had once about people and parties. Waiting to form and become me. It’s funny really. I love being me. I’m the greatest person I’ve ever met.

Do you feel that way too. That you are the greatest person you ever met. You’ve go to really. If you’ve ever met any famous people it’s really quite peculiar. The ones you’d absolutely hate all love themselves. They love being famous and they like rub it on their skin and stuff. You’d think you’d want to puke. Then you see one of their films or what. And you think, that is a good movie, that is a great sound.

The you could meet a famous person that hates its. Their shall I say individual. Can’t give you a quick stereo-type. Different though, Very different people. Let’s just leave it at that.

What Am I Made Of

I ask myself that very question every night. What am I made of. Paper glue. The stuff that bounces off me and sticks on you. Yes I am that person that funny person. I don’t know how strong I’ll become solid. Maybe mean solid. It’s funny though. I’m probably adapting to a situation that will happen latter or a series of situations. It’s funny really squirming wirm-un. And his need to touch himself when he thinks. If I had to laugh at just one person or way of living it would be that…

Anyway I had to laugh. What Am I…. A composite of nuclei bounded at the sub atomic level… Sub atomic meaning pre-formation of reality at this point. Remember your all who. I’m the what. Ha ha ha everything. Anyway. My molecules (pre-atomic nuclei) are probably slightly more bounded at this point in my life than yours. Not longer bounded. Stronger bounded. Same with bones sub tissue you name it. Is what I am what I do. Not always, but it closely relates to time. So aside from time, most miracles thoughts magics movements and stuff of such primitive nature are not ruled by the body I’m in. They are ruled by me. The big me. The men who invented the weird body that wouldn’t die. The me who invented the universe.

Here’s an old joke. It’s been fun, this universe and everything, but I really must be going. I’ve so many things to go to. Ohh I forgot about you….

I know your not supposed to say funny so soon after a joke, but that’s funny. What is I decided to bug out-ta here. You ever think of that. Some people think they know what is going to happen. All the way though. They think they know it all because they read the bible over and over again. Maybe even The plan. And they say to themselves. I know who he is, I know who he is. I’ve got it all figured out. How’d they do.

Not very well. I know the old school word used to be tourist. Let’s call them… hey let’s just not call them. They’ll want to live some day. Someday they’ll shine down on us and we’ll be in a warmer gentler earth, or we’ll be getting a tan. And maybe we’ll think hey they weren’t that bad. And then you might get a burn on your skin or hit a kid because the sun was too bright that day or something like that and then you might stare up at the, well lit, sky instead of blaming me and yell, "you bastards!!!"

Anyway most people don’t have good parents. I think if I might look at my result sheet. That the best thing to have is strict parents or no parents at all.

Strict parents make sense and idiot parents we could all do without. Like the family that may have fed me. You could be forty years old and they’ll still place their hand on your shoulder and go, "son". Doesn’t matter. Dumb as toast. If the price is right. Souls for sale. Sold. So stupid that you could use a two-bye four to prop their eye lids open and they’ll still find a way to put themselves to sleep so they could put a new coat of paint on they’re lies in the morning.

Like hellions. I find their easier to get along with on their road to hell if you don’t remind them too often. Kind-a drives them nuts. Kind-a makes them mad.

Oh the joy I’ll have being neutral that day. Like fuck. Mcfuck. Chicken fuck. But luck.

Guess what! "Chicken butt."

That’s the best line I’ve ever heard in a punk movie. Guess what!? Chicken butt. If you enjoyed the buck buck chicken jokes and some of the others from the past few days. You might find yourself enjoying a movie called suburbia someday. There are only about three fake ones out there. Not a single fake was luck or a fluke. All just to be annoying.

I wonder if A.I.D.S. was annoying. I guess we shouldn’t listen to rich old men and how they think things should be run. Until I’m rich and old. And I guess we should listen to people who stand in the way, If N.A.S. has anything to say.

Using money to "rule" the earth, and or scene. I can’t wait to see you in the A.T.M. line. I hope it’s okay I’ve only had a little practice with this plague and I’ll pestilence you.

This pester me and I’ll plague you. It’s quite new. It’s like a where’s the humanity thing. You see some people try to take our humanity away and we like fight back with A.I.D.S. and stuff. Until your like yelling up at the sky your hot fiery God of punishment after death yelling. "Humanity, where’s the humanity."

Odds are there will be a man there and he will maybe have a cup of coffee from a machine and walk away when you look at him. You might say to yourself. At least my life is more interesting than yours.

And me and the man or woman will probably laugh at that or what ever your thinking. We probably wont let you know though, or at least we’ll try not to. Because that’s the humane thing to do.

Anyway Back to Me.

Being me is learning to fall. You know how your there and you might have to learn how to walk. Then latter you might have to remember how to lift yourself out of a chair. To walk somewhere. Well me, I’ve got to learn how to fall. I know it’s funny. You might think to your self that there are so many things to do. Why would have to learn how to fall. Well it has to do with astro-physics and the thought that I’m becoming what while we’re all who is real.

I know it sounds great all this becoming myself. You know when I become my who. I would usually shed my skin and everything. It’s quite funny. I then turned to myself and thought. Do I ever really even out. I seem to be growing at about the same amount of time it takes to be able to control myself.

You know like how hard you hit a typewriter. Stuff like that. It’s quite a bit of fun. I enjoy the weirdness the most. It’s true. I enjoy turning into shade when I’m hanging. It’s fun. Some people might get to turn into air and reappear latter because their lives are in trouble or something like that. It only cost you time. I get to turn into shadow and kind-a hang there eventually. It’s quite fun.

You see I’ve learned something from all those three other worlds. I can’t be you. I have been you for a while on this earth. And it seems quite human. Quite humane. But I can’t be you. By definition. I’ve got to be me. I know that it’s going to take a bit of time. And I’m "asking", hint, hint, for you to bare with me during these astro-physics things.

Basically as far as man is concerned. I’ll continue to grow smarter, stronger, brighter, even more knowledgeable about what really makes things, human and otherwise. Do the things that they do.

On a personal note, because this book is for me a personal thing. Something I’m doing for myself. I really enjoy the shadow turning and fame becoming and all that stuff the most. I don’t know what it is.

Is it the differences we value between each other the most. Maybe yes maybe no. Me I like the differences. I enjoy the thought of becoming something like fire. For not the sake of finding something out that I knew before I made the freaky thing. But for the sake of just being flame. Maybe it might have something to do with knowing flame is okay. I was sort-a almost smoking against my will. Maybe becoming a shadow was just to see if the shade was okay.

If you’ve ever been on a date with me. I don’t like it when the earth the air the fiber of the trees isn’t just right. It’s got to be just right. It bugs me greatly. I care that they are spraying God awful shit on my plants and stuff. I intend to kill them. Did it once, don’t bother to try. You see your dead. Made someone do it, without them knowing. Your dead. Living breathing dead. No wonder you worship your fiery orb in the sky. Kept on doing it after you found out. Your probably the most rotten of all. Your probably living hell on those around you. And then I’m going to kill you and then your going to die. And then your in the fiery orb in the sky.

It’s cool. My tree still looks hurt. I already told you. I don’t like it when my trees don’t look right. It’s really bugs me. So I guess you could say it bugs me that you made the decision to piss me off and ruin my day and now your going to hell.

Sorry there really is no way for a person not to know doing this stuff is death to them. Like I was saying I’ve lived as a human off and on. And well really if it was any more obvious we’d have to tattoo it on our but and make you into monkey men. So you could fake it at the mall. When you get your groceries, when you pay your taxes. I’m on you twenty four hours a day. Just making it right, just making it great.

The People Who Didn’t Get The Point About Lower Prices.

Your dead. As dead as that person who fucked up my tree or any of those other things. No excuses, no other way out. Dead. Dead fucker. It’s fun. Really I always win. Did you think I failed in those previous worlds and I tried so hard this time to make life and I really thought I’d made it.

No sorry dude I got bored. I had my fun and it was time to leave. And like most people well it’s quite funny. In the light bulb world. They loved me loved my gift of life so much they thought they'd die when I left. And I suppose I never gave it much thought. "I’m leaving, I’m out-a here." And I was gone. Quite fun.

The metal world. "I hate to twist things around,,," Classic!!!!! That was a wash out. As I think about it. When I separated from the mass. I started to drop like I could form something. Go from the metal thing like it was a start of something.

I didn’t do it right away though. But the idea was formed there. What if I took my time. What if I made this world. I’d build it slow like a rock that slowly formed into the earth. Well I was going to take that long in real earth time. And then a funny thing happened.

I was thinking about things that would be there. And I saw this image of a girl. A sexy woman. You know with like man boobs that would really turn a guy on.

So that was it. For the long beginning. I got side tracked and started to create a world based on language. I wanted to simulate that look and that feel. Emotional attachment had not yet taken place. With things that were all me, but not with anything that was in the light bulb, or metal community. Truthfully not with my long thought earth grown from rock either.

The language to describe sexiness and neat lightage though. That all, when I was finished constructing myself into it; became language. Cool eh. Sure I had ideas from, metal and I think quite clearly to myself that there were ideas form the light bulb age, but I could never afford them.

Fun though had a blast. Adventure. Think about always almost loosing world war II and then winning over and over again. Every man living in the end. Well almost. You bore me. I’m out-a here.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying.

Anyway like I said. Or was saying. In live there are things that you like, things that you love even. All sorts of things like that. Things that make you emotional. Things that really turn you on. Like your thinking and feeling and it’s all going wide. Compute, I remember you. You can let it all go though. I know I can though. It’s a joke, a thought, a prayer, and I wake up and it was a dream and everything is cool. I’m okay and I’m the only thing there ever was. NO one died or ever died and it’s all okay. I never invented and then my mind gets going and I think. Or thought. After the end of language.

What is it that makes this darn earth so grabbing. I know I died on the cross. Those of you who believe Christ wasn’t me. Should keep in mind that many people died on the cross. Many, many people.

So anyway, I think that being what instead of out-a here after the life I’ve had so far is more about. Emotional attachment. I’m emotional attached to this earth. Scary. Dig this. I know why. It’s not the trees and the plants the fires at camp. The well almost anything you could name.

I could re do them for a joke. Any tree any place. Really for real, just for a joke.

It doesn’t get tiny and all the other timbers off the hook. Here goes though.

I’m emotionally attached to someone or something causing me to not want to wait the length of time it would take me to recreate the scene or place that created the person or thing. I mean like It’s weird, I could disappear for a joke and turn all this into nothing and still I’d look and it would be the person, personified by me looking at them. No return of the metal world around them. No light bulbs holding up there head while I’m falling down while they read.

No it’s true. This earth is the combo. Growing. Becoming what it is all twisted together. Looked it’s a random song a random entity. Heh, Heh I don’t think the enemy can take the emotional attachment away.

They combo is too great. They don’t go back that far. They week, and we’re the strong.

It’s fun. I mean fun.

Now for some time travel.

Well, I thought I had this great big speech, written down about the woman of my dreams. Turns out that I didn’t write most of it down. I kept most of it in my head. I just wrote a few stupid lines.

Anyway the thought I wonder about now that I’m thinking. Is if one glimpse of Boobage in an other wise normal day. Can cause such chaos. The what’s it going to be like with the real wife.

I go back. I mean I go real back. The thought that this thing is important to me is pretty obvious. I mean fuck. She has to be there or I wouldn’t know that she is.

I know that she is. How much do I know that it’s her and am I that excited back there in the partial what, the when and the where.

I’m having a great time. Fun. Real fun. I mean. Boobage. After we’re together and I know it’s her. Will it be the end of the Boobage and the begging of the man-age. It might be. Maybe that’s another reason to look at the who and the how long and the what. And go maybe just go. Hey. This calendar is pretty good. This is a where right here. What ever one your using.

Funny really all your thought and ideas about how this world could have been a better place. Not really, not for me. You see I never knew I’d be so emotionally attached. But now it seems like I always knew. I came up with the plan then. The who the what the when the where.

Brian and the high holy one just hanging out. All those Brian’s getting a break. All those people who knew I was the high holy one at the time. Not ,any not really. Just a bunch of crazy people who thin they run the show.

I have to laugh at he people who remind me… "You’re God !!! Do you know what your doing….? Watch your strength…!’

They’re like circus people at the circus who yell at the person on the tight-rope.

They wan the person to fail. They wan the person to die so they can have a story to bring home to talk about.

That or they never really thought about it. Just a person risking their life so that they might have a better day. Just another arse hole who is better than them.

Funny really though. The ones who would really be up there. Some if they weren’t scared right out of their skull. Others for other reason’s. But the ones who really would. Are usually the ones who are watching having a ball at the thought that the person "makes it".

And once in a while they make the audience scared so that they remember not everybody was there to have fun. Some wanted the person to fall. They wanted the person to fail. Never though. It’s funny to think of the tiniest person who it’s all based on looks.

They don’t want them to fall because that person might not look as good if they did. Isn’t that funny.

A lot like porn actually. Everybody wants the person or people to look enough like them to get turned on. But then they don’t wan them to look too much like them because they might, "look like a porn freak and get carted away by the circus people."

You bastards turning the circus into some sort of gene harvesting organization.

Maybe if you never sprayed a……

What Am I?

I have to laugh. Right now about 54% of your governments money is being spent on keeping me down. By people who wanted to help. By people who thought that the right thing to do was keep God out of it.

Anyway. It’s funny. You ever notice that in comic books they always seem to say . These days. "What am I?" I’m ______Man. I have to laugh. That is the funny part. Every hero. Every U.F.O. Every weird freaky occurrence. All weighed and measure, all in an effort to what. I don’t know the original sin concept on the topic; to take away the mystery. Maybe they thought that when I wasn’t here or something that I might think that and that wasn’t as bad. I don’t know. I know what most people think. I know what I think.

If you are having trouble, having to solve everything down into what did this and what did that. I recommend two things. More sleep. Or if your married. Get laid. I mean above the average sex, that is.

What am I. I know it’s funny I keep going to the molecular level, myself. More complicated. Yes, but no. Being more complicated would actually be quite, "not good", when it came to the time travel and all that.

I Don’t know. I’m different though. I know that. The weirdest thing going on in my life right now is this. I’m beginning to have normal, well things. Going to the bathroom more like when a normal human would. Having yawns and naps and sleep and well almost everything, like normal.

This might sound funny. But normally when I’m myself. I’ve got maybe like five months to get everything I’m going to do before the next time done. I’m done with it though. A person can’t live that way. I can’t. It’s lame it’s dome. Lame and dome I wonder how long they are going to be around.

You better get ready for the shit to hit the fan. If everybody was to start talking complete political correctness. Well I don’t want to get into it too much. But if you’ve ver been in one of those neighborhoods were it seems like a leave falling on the wrong side might start a riot. It’s that type of thing.

Funny though. If you live in a great town. You might notice it’s a bit like that early in the weekend mornings. What am I.

I’ve looked at a rooftop and know it was the only way to save someone. I couldn’t teleport up there with just my thought then. But instead of seeing it as a stupid thought a stupid way. I could see a time when I could. In my dreams… maybe. Maybe that too.

If your sitting out there thinking I could or would want to do this because I’ve got some sort of hero thought or hero gene. That’s great and all. Maybe you’ll make a great cop, someday or a soldier. But no I’m God dude. I’m quite curious to see what you guys can do when you really know who.

Why does who become so affected by what you do. It’s because well. I wrote the plan. It’s kind-a all about that. Kind-a about a who_________, what________, when________ and where_________.

Funny thing though. The whole thing is designed to give me pleasure. The earth. I mean it. It’s like my private thing that gives me pleasure while I look on from a far. Of course where I am has been changed. Not much else has. Actually though now that I think about it. I always thought there would be more people after the apple was eaten. I always thought I’d come down to earth. (I did not however think I would get killed by my own people). Anyway…. I also knew I would comeback. Or technically from the time you did come back. You know as a planet, "almost" right down to the original rock. That would grow an earth.

Anyway, after I put a new world back and began the ritual of when. I turned back to ,myself and then it occurred to me. Like I was say. I designed this planet for one thing and one thing alone. To get laid. Sure you might think that is funny. But what is getting laid to God. I dare you not to ask. Cause only a dare fucker would bother trying to see hear or feel the earth the way God does.

Anyway yeah. Here I am on the earth. And It’s going to happen. If this thing was designed to be viewed from above, originally. Now it’s more of an in person thing. And now that I’m becoming what. I can guess a bit about what that is going to be like.

Yes you guessed it. Once all the "little men and women",(private local joke), are done making their little appearances. Then it’s going to be really kicking in. The what I love about the world. The who I’d see in the world. The thoughts, hopes and aspirations of those around me all drawing near. Turning into a big gem of an invention. That I the greatest inventor of all time have come up with.

Cool eh! Motron God. Super God. The being of God. I’m so God it’s french. I love God. I’m being God. If I was anymore God. I’d get a tattoo that said God, paint over it in black and put an interstellar-bri-guy tattoo on my arm and laugh when I got it done.

What is it about being God I love so much. I love it when it rains on time. I love it when the park smells right. I love it when the sun sets and the moon shines down and I catch it.

I love the sound of music. I love the thought that I’m God I made that everybody I love or care about is going to make it. I love the fact that if the french-fries want to spend all their time fighting and fucking I’m fully capable of running the whole fucking thing myself and we can have a grand old end with out them.

I love it when I get into my hair and it actually looks like it should. I love it when all the kids who dress like me and try to be like me die. I love being not racist, not loudmouthed and truly really really out there.

I love being me, ergo I love being God. Do I love you do I care about you. Remember this book is all about What and Who.

Remember how many people died during when I was who. A.I.D.S. was a good word they threw on there. All sorts of stuff. Well the shit ain’t over. If your throwing your life in jeopardy please have a right to do so. If you feel that you need to do that just to live, please let me know at your earliest convenience.

The Thought "I" Had On The Way To The Mall

It’s funny you know. I’ve had an amazing day. The kind-a day that is full of the things a person thinks of, that they can’t write. I want, very badly to get into what I’ve called Astro-physics.

Alas though it is not to be. Many other things as well. I’m sure there will be a place and time for them. Maybe your own book, your album your song. Maybe there is a world somewhere where a person isn’t an over night millionaire for hitting the mother load. Maybe some year they’ll listen to the masses.

Alas though I can only say that the things I can’t say are as important as the things I do write. I’m saying that if I could really could I’m the type that would write it all down. Everything I am. Everything I’ll be. That would be me. And it wouldn’t be naive or stupid or any of those things because there wouldn’t be "those" people around.

What is she though. Why am I so obsessed with this woman. How can the though of her pull me out of a crazy ain’t going to make it time in my life. "What’s it all about".

Well I know three things about her that make her my wife. One two three, please tell me. For one she makes me me when I am me. When I’m totally me and everything is okay and it all makes sense. She is me. Then when I’m not quite myself, like someone totally famous has died, or the thing I do for a living doesn’t make sense. She puts me into being me. I’m me again. I can do these things without her, but I can’t quite get it done as fast. Can’t quite be all I can be without her. And finally, remember I know all this because I’m God. She digs the body. Alright loves the body. Not every guy can handle that. In good looking and in bad. I mean that’s what love is.

I dig it. I’m the digger. I love being loved. I know there are thousands maybe hundreds out there that love me. But truly to be in the room with someone that does. Like the her. It turns me on. I’m like freaking out. I want to know the code of my hair and the fiber of my being, because I want to tell her all about it.

Think for a moment. Has anybody ever wanted to be famous and had it not for the girl. Why do I get self obsessed. I can’t answer it all. Hey professor griff why is it the time of the calculator man. Because the hell pisser. The crap that keeps on crapping is. Every body is sick of the shit they keep inventing that everybody is dying off.

I mean it the mirco-wave aside. Does anybody even hear the fact that this shit hurts babies. Are they deaf. Do they not hear the words that are coming out. I mean fuck dude. This can't be solved. Give up. Go home. Let’s find out what they were here for. Get it done with. Over do it. And be done with them.

Humma, I’m kind-a stuck here. I was going to go on and on about what I am. Then of course I can’t quite explain what the science of the whole thing is. I mean shit. I’m sure at the end of this I’ll be glad I didn’t either. Remember the thing about not doing anything too nuts while I readjust the thing with the thing with the thing. Well the thing happened when no one was looking. Maybe a couple of rocks some where haven’t been checked yet, but we’re looking into it.

What is me? It’s fun being me. Real old town home town fun. I love it. I’m the me me. I’m super me. Not super-them. I’m the dude. I did it. I can see an end for everything I created and it’s endless. Eternity. Sure it sounds awful if life is hell and it’s all going down and you hate me your landlord and your dog. Fuck shit happens. Is it happening out of sink.

What about the earth is heaven people. If the dead get pestilence. A.I.D.S. and all that shit. What do the Heaven on earth and the what’s up get.

They get me, for one. Crazy Bri. Fucked up Bri. Superterrific happy hour bri. They get it all going on. Music, time scopeastatic crazy thought making, what just happen there. Is everybody sure they’re not God, except God, God. Great music, fun in the sun. Winter madness. Crazy thought thinking God.

Me, what could be better. You might say to your self. "Hey today is great", maybe I’ll go out and find something crappy to make things more real, heavenly etc. Don’t bother. I’m on it. I’ll think of something. Something out right absolutely disgusting will happen, to the point you will think your in a Billy Idol video.

It’s all going down. No eh. Superterrific-happy-hour-crap. Right now I’m listening to red hot chilly peppers sing about LA I mean it’s a great song. It’s about the shit where sing about writing about. It’s about what is going down. The shit is hitting the fan, heaven on earth and I’m, God talking about a Billy Idol song.

Supperterrifichappy hour. I mean it the real deal. The fast deal for some of you. I love being me. Being me is being disappointed at bands that don’t rock because I know why they don’t rock. It’s about hearing it all and know why they don’t all and caring and giving a fuck. And hoping they get out of jail on the right time and not when it’s time to make a new album time.

Non bullshit time. Real sales real world. People making there won decisions time. Superterrific time. The way to make time.

Here they go. It’s just one hit.

I care so much about me I love them. Do I hate me for loving them. No personally I laugh at people who think I give a shit about a band based on the colour of their skin or anything like that.

Buggie. Super boggie. Get down with the bouttie.

Ahh an angel is reading my letter and she knows I love her. Hopefully the thing about the dead husband will help with the obsession with death thing. If you’ve read the sandman comics I can see why you might have a crush on the death character from the comic. Like I said I did some pretty weird things before this land really got off the ground.

Sure you want to know what they feel like. But are really really ready for when you find out and go,,, oh. Then you might know that they are very different. Paranoid yet. I think so. I here you calling. All you paranoid brothers, so you can have a paranoid moment.

Me on the other hand I love it. I’m making love to myself and it’s like 3o miles an hour but I’m on foot. So I keep it low. Close to the ground. I care. But that shit is going down. All coming down. Who death is done. What death is is just coming down. Hey if you ask me, it’s your threats and dooms and destruction that make it such a rush.

I love being me. Death yeah, I’ll deal with the crushes. You maybe ain’t seen the numbers on the female wank to the death. I’ve got to wonder. I love being me. It’s like one of those things I do. Like breathing. Well maybe after the last bug is done fucking up. The last real leaf has moved the wrong way. The time of year never changing. I guess no maybe death will always be there. Some day your friend taking car of planet earth. Enjoying the all that I am laid down there on paper. The real me. Always going on. Let’s hope way in the future anybody asking why there is death isn’t leading the party. Isn’t walking it down. I care but not that much. I care a little.

Death shemeth, I’m down with the taxes.

"What am I?", You Might Ask

The economic soldier. A person should be able to live on what I make. No two ways about it. No do this do that. A person should be able to get by okay on what I take home. I can’t not really. I can pull a miracle or two out of my hat. But a person should be able to live on what I make and they can’t. That is that. Money shouldn’t require miracles. Money in itself is a miracle. Adding anything to this miracle is a root of all evil.

A very bad thing. I care, yes I do. But what do we do. We wait till its’ safe to put a new economy down. You can’t just wastle though nam. and come up with a new economy overnight. It will not happen. I’m sorry that’s just the way it is.

On a happier note. A few people around where I live understand what I mean by live. Not everybody has the same version of life. It’s a lot like that money miracle.

Anyway those that do like me have a hard time, just you know vegetating. We like to live. It means going out. Doing things. Living in the "now". Having a fun time with it. And of course dealing with the clowns that dress up like us and pretend they are like us while they try to take our money from us.

I could care less really what happens to them, but I’m death. So I deal with it. I make things happen. All messed up with the money thing. The people who are, dare I say, different than us.

I Love The Bauhaus

My favorite Band is the Bauhaus. This is the most fun I’ve ever had. Never have I had as much joy listening to any other band. They are the band I enjoy the most. There is no other band like them. They are what I consider the pinnacle of unbelievably good playing. They take the concept of a jam and,, well it’s music after that. Everything I enjoy, or have ever enjoyed though the moments of my life. I enjoy with this band.

Amen to the studios that helped record and put together this music that is the Bauhaus band.

They are the best, greatest band I’ve ever heard. They make me know the thing about different things being the greatest. Presumably not even necessarily at different times. Bauhaus. Bauhaus. Say it with me. Like Halloween.

Music music music, to my ears.

I Love Life.

Life rocks. I love it. It’s the coolest thought I think I’ve ever had. At least the coolest thought you’ll ever get to enjoy. I care about myself and you and I’m in a great big huddle getting the universe done. I care about myself and I clean myself. For now. And right now I’m wondering about the closet heterosexual. Their desirous need to feel the press of the opposite sex up against them. I feel them deep in their need not too touch flesh if it’s not going to happen. I mean, who could. The tearing and unbearable nakedness of not caring what the other person thinks or feels when they get home. They are okay. I need to get with them. The them that was at the bar the club or what ever.

I’ve got to press up against that and do what I would do with a real individual. Or the reasons not or why. The real hard core all is connected. Right to the tip. All in one body. What the fuck are you experience.

Rawww. Lickedge.

I differ to the genie in the bottle. I once knew a girl who’s story was so wide a girl who look, not physically, just like her walked by. I asked her out. It was down we were with the right people. Then walked in her sister. Oh my fuck the way she was dressed she’d blow the mind job off a virgin.

I turn back to the girl, who obvious lied, she’s my sister. All of a sudden my date was off and it was her date. What a jipp. What did I do. I went to a party up stairs. I gave what I consider a very good attempt at bringing up the topic of death. I mean you ever try to pull a non-death out of a pumpkin and a well, I’ve seen it done.

Anyway. This other guy shows up. He’s freaked out over this awful book and what it might do to man if it gets out. Even though he’s the only guy promoting it.

Anyway, latter, now for them it may have been like years latter. For me well it was as long as it was that I went without seeing the girl. I don’t know a day. If that. Anyway there I was my little hetero-hidding self. Yeah yeah bar fight what ever. The enlarged childish members were there.

Nights latter after much beer, much not drinking, and making fun of Chinese chickens, I go to lick her skin. I mean a real, barrier between the tongue and the skin, no makeup could create.

I’m talking my cool smoke free tongue, up against the desire to touch that flesh with my tongue. Pressed up against something that is very very old. If you think that flame thing, from earlier in this book was old, was there and I pressed my tongue against that. And that pressed up against her face and well that was that.

There really wasn’t much of a point in going back there. Her story, for me, I can’t over emphasize the for me part, is one probably pasted down from mother to mother. Doomed never to be together, because eventually there will be moments where, my story about her becomes what her lineage would make her story once, even twice or more would be too much. Too pretend. Too much for me to listen to henry and Ralph beating each other up in a bar in the past over and over again. About to them, who she was going to "get with"

Aha till then though. I mean fucken hot. Super Hot. Right the fuck out there, you are either a space cadet, or a non-believer, to not see her beuty beauty.

And yet, vocally I wonder if I really don’t talk about my life that much. I talk about music a lot, and writing, and yet I do think about my life a fair bit. Often when I’m alone I do the heal the sick think. What are you eyes sick. Get with it… Come on they are just sick. You’ve got to help them get better.

Nahh it works that way for some people. I’ve got to thank the people at the bar last night who helped the people walk. I know I appreciate that they aren’t all in the now and all that.

But I thought they were cool. You know me though. Panic mode. Something might not work out. I might say the wrong thing. Or the person who is unsure of what is going on, or too week that day might tell em to stop, or just move or something at the wrong time.

But he didn’t and it did and it did help. And like a lot of first times. Like when you ride a bike for the first time. Some one tell you to stop. I mean your soaring or something because it is dangerous, and you don’t know weather it’s the bike or your dad or the area your riding towards.

Anyway you know me, fuck that shit, I learn to drive the thing on my own. Get the drift.

A lot of fun though. I love to heal, some times even at the end of the endest though, it’s not quite all there, wont quite come through.

I must have not had enough energy, or I spent way too much of it on that thing with the lips and the tongue. I mean it is possible. I know I designed this earth for one thing, now what ever could it be!?

I love myself too much for that. I designed the universe, and the earth for one purpose and one purpose alone. My pleasure. I know I know I’m sure you thought that I was going to say. Your son’s birthday, or The pageant. Graduation. The first time you fixed a 54’ Chevy roadster original motor in front of your friend, way past, what they call Brooklyn.

I know it’s possible you thought I designed it to see the look on your young daughter as she blew out her candles or turned a curve in the drive way.

I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next. They are all connected. The whole F-in thing. Every time you see some one cry over someone dear. Every time you help our son take his poop standing. These are the things that go on to help the person, people with any luck, get to that special point in life where it connects. For a second your not, just pleasing yourself, Your pleasing me, and it’s past know that it is and it just is.

And that for me is what life is all about. So If I’ve had some friends that have been though a Shiite time, well it’s my business if I choose to suffer too. As much as I can, or could without affecting the, I know this sounds weird, but the birthdays, the hopes and dreams of other people too.

It’s very bizarre, but if the people who make this the who, what,when,where experience are aloud to take these moments away from everybody. They haven’t just put me in a nut house than they’ve put everybody there. And that can not be aloud to happen.

I know I know, I care enough about what this place is designed for to care enough not to do that every day. But if you think I’d enjoy just floating around with the beatles and the gray skulls or what ever you call them. You’ve never met me, don’t care about me, and are very likely going to die and go to hell.

What is it about me that I love so much. Look I "enjoy!!!" your birthdays and holidays and all that. That’s what this place is all about. Shit if you don’t love your kids and your kids don’t blame you for everything that goes wrong. Than there really is no point to life. I could sit at home all day with my pretend barbie. My nice david Mccall doll. Say I guess Hitler won on that idea and just be done with it.

But no I say fuck that. That ain’t happening. I’m into it. And if it’s your duty to stand up in Call-for less or what ever there call it this year, yelling, "Gladiator, I got the latest Gladiator." And Arnold Swesenagger has to go and make a movie about what that whole experience is like. That’s my duty, my dream as a Canadian. To have that happen too you. Your daughter coming back safe from the bar. Your kids all tucked in at night. Not held down for the evening. You know the good fight. Being on the right side for a reason.

I care I really care. So if my mind goes through a loop while I have another divorce because the girl keeps marring someone else instead of the one she loves. That’s some ones duty too. Too turn that idea that thought into a video that us desperately single men can look at and go, yes I suppose after the first day or two I would only want the one I was best with. That’s the duty too.

It’s going to happen we’re going to win. Everything getting less complicated on both sides. We’re winning and their losing. And they know they are loosing and it’s going down.

My fuck if you know someone who joined the wrong side by mistake. Give’s a call. Let them know they are going to die and they might not want to do anything too stupid before then.

I care I love myself, I need a moment of AI.

Hello.

Life, such is life. I rule I’m the ruler. I’m super ruler. The rulingest of ruler rulers. I care. I really care. How is the book going so far. You know me, "did you get the coffee?" Is everything Okay. DO you agree with me today. I said a bad word yesterday. It’s funny though. I think I’ll be alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot. I wonder if it’s the time of year. About some of the past adventures. I’ve had. Montreal. Most of that is artificial. But LA all those places I said I’d never visited again. It’s occurring to me that with the right woman. All those things are off. If you wan to see the bottom of the rocks. The rocks. I’m into it. It’s the coolest thing ever though. Like the hoover dam. All those things you have to be prepared for your self not to get it. To not totally be into it. Maybe even so into me that your going. If I can just get him to have his ass the same when he’s levitating like that then latter in the tent…..

I was wondering though. So many people wonder what I think about certain stars, hollywood and all that. Casting cock size. Don’t get me started on boobage. Ha ha. Anyway I wonder sometimes what they must think of me. Really I do. Because there they are cover stories as far as anybody knows about how most of them make Micheal Jordan look like a minor demon, And then you wonder I say, like they don’t have a calculator. That’s a million this year and twenty the next and it just goes on and on. I don’t think so.

It’s easy to think they have screws on someone though. That are it’s a lie. Who could live with that sort of lie. All that in the competitive zone. If it’s true though. I’m going to make a point of all their stories of needing drugs to smile and feel good. And flashing pretty ladies that might of stood a chance around some real men. And women. At them.

I’m going to make their road to hell a living hell. If you don’t have enough to eat. If you pay for a movie and you don’t get what they said it will be. I’ll turn the hollywood, LA, Toronto, star hollywood thing into the biggest scariest thing the earth has ever had to go through.

And on a better note. Anybody I think is trying to be one of them, who thinks the stories of money or drugs or multiple partners is true. I’m throwing into the same category. Just for fucking trying.

Now you might think I when to LA to be famous. Trust me, anybody that knew me single, Do you think I went there thinking I’d be a star. No I wen their because the miracles I could do in Montreal gave me enough confidence to get out on the open road and see what life would be like. If you know I did just take it to an adventurous level.

You might also think I left this city to do this same thing again… Sort of. But most of those stories are about ass-wipes who’ve come in and out of this story with women we would like to be with thinking that they are going to own them or something.

Dead meat. Dead ass fucker. Couldn’t give a fuck. Military than above them cease-us. Right at the fucken below them, then bottomest of bottoms. Is the fucken Narcs. Show me a city run by the narcs and I’ll show you a city that has been taken over.

Time and time again. I find it most disturbing. You fucken hate them for what they’ve done to your parents, yourself, people you used to be able to call friends. And yet you say you don’t want military rule. Trust me, you sure the fuck don’t want ceasus ruling.

Here’s what I do. I help out ever country that is willing to really listen. I try to give the military good advice. But they are stuck in a world where they turn on the TV and everything has changed. It’s all based on the walton's to them.

The above them is me. I hover there. Ever heard of reign. Lie old people they’ll say reign like it’s a vote to keep younger people out of it. In the real world I had to reign for about five minutes in Montreal. That made me create A.I.D.S. It was fun.

Then they came up with a story about a.i.d.s. and monkeys and black men in Africa in the seventies. I have no idea how anybody could believe that.

Note the use of black people. Note how black people do videos that make them selves look like some new species cow. Never have I seen anything as gross. Like a bunch of people milking their mans cow udder while they make life to expensive for everybody else. So they can drive by tina from the mall and yell something from the sixties.

Often and occurring to most US military advisors when I listen to that music. I feel the same. Like it’s back in the sixties and I’m yelling at Tina, Barbie or Bettie. I don’t know I really don’t know what I’d be yelling.

Now we know for a fact it reigns around here almost all the fucken time. It’s non-stop. Now most of that is about me and personal injury. But where else does it reign. Those places too. So what is it. Do I give up go home, runa round like some homeless man. Too scared to, well I don’t know.

Anyway death is death. So if your out-there and you hear this and you think I mean what You think I mean. Please be patient while my wife and I walk the monkey walk a little.

I know it’s awful and it’s all going down, but really what really do these people have to turn to to tell them what is going on. The TV, the phone, pictures. I mean fuck the thing might not look the same when you get their.

Anyway that is about it for today.

Why do some people Suck.

Well why can’t you be famous. Here’s the thing. You know how some people are very good singers and all that. Actors, writers, hairdressers, painters. Etc. You aren’t. That’s the plane simple truth. You know how you might think you wont take the money etc. All quite believable. Well the worst part id you suck. Most people spend about 30 years before they even go for a big break.

So unless you have about a million or two dollars and want to send this country into hell. I don’t suggest you try for a pop album. I suggest you try something underground. Like you could work with a band for years before even trying to do an album. Stuff like that.

Me I’m a lousy actor. I stink. I knew that from long ago. I can do the life thing but when it comes to acting I blow.

And their kids will too. I hope that isn’t too much concern. Because when it comes right down to it. Who is a great director or recording studio going to choose. A person who just had a thirteenth birthday who needs a new album to fit in. Or a guy who worked his whole life and tried really hard to make that one final chance. Who do you think is going to give the better performance.

Well I don’t know why I went on about that. I’m doing good I was reliving old times last night. Kind-a stayed up kind-a late. I think I might go watch a guy I call a friend play his voice at a club this week. I don’t know though. I’m a little low on cash. I could always bum though. People were very nice. Most of the people who got free cars for giving me a dollar, left their clan hoods in the car.

Funny though, you just don’t know what it’s like to be God till you wonder about stuff like that and a poster from 1984 turns to that of a dead girl. It’s all connected.

What am I? Cool, I’m cool. If you’ve ever seen this movie pulp fiction, there is this guy who has been Beeped over by "the man". This guy comes up behind him and says, "Are you okay!?"

He goes, "Far from okay!". Right them I knew I was God. "I’m gong to get medieval on his ass." If you knew me at all. I’ve got UFO, terminator 4 videos. I’m going going. All I need is for people to stop telling me to stop. Or less people willing to do such a thing. Because If I’m "getting okay." I know a few people who are far from okay. Maybe they didn’t see the movie, or understand the principal. The point is though. When we are okay, well it’s never okay. That is why there is the sun. Because and, we’re going to do things to them. Fast, slow, nothing, and painful. You ain’t seen pain. I hope your in a lot of pain right now. Who ever the fuck you where.

I hope your dead. Oh and thanks, whatever it was that made you do that. I appreciate that. I know it must tie into a want or desire of mine. In the present or the future. Never the past. I hope that is okay. I know it sounds bad. Someone blew off your head so I could get a better peace of toast or a pie or whatever. That’s just he way life is though. It works that way. If I want something I’ll get it. You know it should wake me up to old wants sometimes to see if I still want them too. Maybe we’ll have to see.

I hope I don’t want anything too mind bending though. I live in a box. I own what most people consider next to nothing. I mean I’ve got my chips and from time to time I can afford a pop. But that’s okay. That’s the life they chose for me. I’m going to have the life I chose for myself though. If that’s not enough. For all of this planet, and everything, almost on it. Than too hell with you. I think of something else.

I Care.

I care. Know I’m writing at a stupid time and I’m probably going to bring down part of the earth to get this done. I care about my friends. My thoughts my feelings, my timing and my caring. I’m a "carey" beast. I’m a person right out of sesame street. That’s old school sesame street.

Of course I always assumed God lived on sesame street too. How else would they do it. Would Oscar kill the people in tat house. So he didn’t have to stay outside. Why didn’t they turn-over the corner store that Mr. Hooper used to run. They didn’t all seem to like him.

Because God lived there. That’s the way I figured it when I was a kid. I mean even to the side things, were they would talk about why we had to learn numbers. And they had the guys who loved to count. Then their were guys that seemed to like language a lot. They had people who were with people. Like the real world. Then they had people who would talk to Muppets. Like it was on, well that TV show. I really liked that show. I never really liked math, but I always loved the count and did pretty good in math. Real good in fact. Remember to me that how they used to say, "all french," to me.

Anyway, I see a lot of show like that. I wonder now about my friend named Stephanie. He did try to be my friend that is for sure. We had our problems. He never believed in God. I have to laugh. He must think we were nuts. I’m talking about the Muppets, and sesame street. And going on abut Highlander, hellraiser. All these cool movies. He must have really been quite bore the middle twenty years of my past years life.

Anyway, I’m sorry that’s all there was. Cause right there from every thing from vigilantes, to you would swear tag team countries trying to kill me. There would be these people who wanted me to see their sons, daughters. Some wanted to thank me for healing them. Financial some. Just a card others. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get in and out of the christmas wish foundation. Maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown in the hospital. They think for myself. After all the talk about sesame street etc. You never know.

Anyway it’s more about the number of people who want me dead. The weirdest, or dumbest to be truthful. Is they want to kill death to end death for everybody. Now that person is how should we say, from back in the eighties "fucked up!"

Anyway. If you owe me some thanks. I appreciate it. I think that’s cool. I did say we were being in heaven though. And if that includes healing your kids to grand-old-parents, so be it. I’m laughing. You know if I could just get a few people to go with me on this I’m going to meet my real true love. I mean opposite sex wise.

So that is what I mean. Of course if you’re a tears in your beer person. When I say this next part about leaving our who’s behind. That I do not mean that part about your tears in your beer part.

I’m starting to go on about myself again. It’s funny about that art about not talking about myself much. Oh yeah I think she’s, the opposite sex woman, is going to pass me by again. I think it’s because, now get this. I’m not good enough for her.

Myself though. Oh yeah I think if this girl, I use that word for older people who look young, mostly. If this girl, thinks that magic was my first true love. Let me tell you a tale from before the very beginning. A tale about how I fell in love with God.

I was sitting on a block and I saw myself there. It was so cool. You know how people, mostly me talk about miracles and all that. Well this really stood out. There I was sitting there. Across from me at food bank in Montreal. I could see that I was about to give up. That’s it for me. That is the end. That sort of thing.

I saw myself there and puffed my chest out like everything was going great in the future I thought. Anyway I went back home. And I was in my lab. Real science bottles and glowing lighted mixtures, like in those old science movies when we thought they’d make cool stuff. I was going through these recipes. And then there was a Girl there a woman. And she told me that. Everything was okay. " I," meaning her, "would be okay."

And I thought to myself. I’m about to blow up the universe and she is telling me that that is okay. She’s down with it.

I couldn’t believe it. I had my cure videos, my thermos of things I’d never looked at. For the cold lonely nights that lay ahead, and I was ready to go.

And there she was, that’s okay, I’m ready go ahead. And I thought to myself, "who the fuck are you."

Meaning her.

I created this entire fucken universe. And your telling me to, no, that it’s okay to blow it the fuck up. I mean I couldn’t believe. People were all telling me what to do. It was driving me fucking crazy. And then when I’m about to blow the entire fucken universe over, and start over. In comes this bitch and says, oh and blow the universe up to. I laughed I even I started to giggle, a mans giggle, then I started to laugh. I couldn’t fucken believe it. Now my memory of this is cloudy. But I fell in love.

I can’t believe it today. Falling in love with that. I mean I’ve seen beauties heard the call of love. But hat seems pretty minor compared to what some people, mostly guys have heard.

This is in this life I’m leading though. At the time I was at. I thought to myself. That’s it that’s her I’m in love.

And do you know what. It wasn’t the stupid little thing she’d said. It was me back on earth. Getting my wits back. I was thinking about my woman. Everybody had one. I know I’m God I must have one for sure. I mean I designed the fucken thing. Sure enough. Days turned into months and months, well over a year, I’m sure of that. I never found her though. Never ran into her.

In all that time. Year after year. In Montreal, you would think in a city that big. You could find "a" right woman. That’s when I started thinking more and more about it. The right woman. Sure though, but that’s altered all the time and changes with divorce and all that stuff, surely one of these,, heh heh ever so many single woman. The right one for me.

Then I knew though. The really real horror equation. That even amongst all that altering and changes. It really was a right person equation. I mean it dude. Have you heard of horror. Listen to me. I could see it clear as day. The right person was the right person. Is going to happen, no way around it. Nothing that would make anything else last. And the true horror, or scare-em that I saw was that some people had waited. Let’s just say One hundred and twenty years.

That’s some pretty crazy talk.

But here I am years single. And you know I’ve had sex with fewer partners than some of you might think. It’s been okay. But I take half the blame. For one, I’m a founding member, of I’m sexy and I can’t admit that to myself alcoholics. I take the fact that I created the universe, too lightly. I’m seldom without female companionship. My friends love me. I saw a guy checking me out the other day, and I think the only reason he’s been hesitating about coming over to my table is he thinks it may require outdoor crying.

I know what he’s talking about. I might be thinking the same thing. Also if I’m right and this feeling of being close to being close with this girl is right. Than I’m not sure were my friendships lie. Of course I’m not twelve so I’m not dealing with some sort of judgment disguised as anything else conflictual party reception. Or any of those "faggy" things. I know some people who would love some stuff like that. Me I’d love to be there for them "in spades" if it was happening.

So I’m an individual. I’ve roomed the pre-universe land, some times in search of something stable. Something normal to cling to. If this is the place, than she ain’t to bad. I care for her this universe and all that. I’m freaked by things like magic and lighting. All that. Don’t get me started on being able to lift my feet of the floor. Only from time to time so far though.

But my one true love. And I know this is sad. Like I’m making it up. Like I’m going to say that girl I thought of, who helped to save the universe. But the truth is. Boobs. Real honest to goodness boobs. And you might think this is silly. Like something stupid God would say for a laugh. The truth is though, you’ve got to wonder about the mean evil people out there. The ones that smash young girls boobs so they have to grow them back. Maybe they know something that you don’t or didn’t maybe it’s like an instinct with them.

Don’t let the accidents fool you. I loved Boobs. Then I should let you know there were other things. Things like people really would thank me. Not druggers or stoners. Thanks for the healing type people.

I care man. That’s what’s cool about me. I care. And maybe the right woman with me will realize that. If we’re together and I’m staring at the girl walking down the roads ass. There really only a few ways to tell if I’m looking at it or making sure her legs heeled properly from what I did last night or before. She’ll have to ask, because I really don’t physically look at these things too differently.

Hi heh, heh, hah ha ha ha.

I had to give myself an elmo hug.

Well.

Why do women like me. Humm-a let me think of an answer. I can think of many. The biggest thing is they have a huge advantage. I like women on average more than men. It’s true. Not by as much as you might think though. Men are cool, fun to hang with. It’s funny though, I’ve tried to hang with people I’ve known with a girlfriend and they just, we just. Because they weren’t dating. Looking back I think they were trying to indoctrinate me into some sort of kill-to-live society.

The funny part about that though, is most of them got so wasted that they forgot all about that and went on to well. Do almost normal things with their lives. Still killers though. Not good. I wonder about that Kathy person. The overly happy family. The way the sisters had to live close to her bedroom. Like she was the master. Sort of like a buffy the vampire slayer episode. Anyway. She didn’t like people too much. Once she got used to hanging out with people she never really liked hanging out with me much.

I think she was like that Stephanie kid. Maybe she just never got sesame street and had to learn why people don’t go around just taking what the fuck ever they want.

I think she almost told me once what she did as a young child. I wish she did. We’d probably still be fucking right now. Odds are we would. I mean we never stopped. Then I realized that was because we hardly ever saw each other. Only two days a week, three if there was a holiday, long weekend. Or maybe during the week. If I could figure a way off work or there and back without totally wiping myself out.

I can’t get into how many times I almost wiped out or died driving the highway that much. Fuck, transport trucks, falling asleep, not too much, snow storms. You ever drive so slow you though you and all the other cars had stopped to get a drink at the side of your cars. But your still there driving. A one hour, nudge nudge, drive turned into five six, all the time you’ll spend together dwindling away. Till finally your there, passed out. Any non-God would be frazzled. And you have to drive out the next day to get to work.

Fuck those were good times. Except. There were a lot of excepts.

Anyway. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been in this "Television, commercial" for helping "kids" who’ve done wrong. I mean accidents sure. I can see that fucking the young, non-God right up. Nothing like it. It’s fucked. You hear all these stories about what death is like. And then you turn a corner or throw something down the stairs and your brother or sister isn’t there anymore.

Funny thing though. Am I winning or losing for having those people around. Some of them seem like good friends.

People I’ve hung with would laugh, "I’m a close person. A person who is easy to approach with any new topic. I like to be disturbed form my thinking. I care about others. I’m a (human mind) "good" thinker.

I can’t think of anymore absolutely humorous things right off the top of my head. But I’ll try. Now these are untruths that should appear funny to those that know me or have tried to know me. I have sympathy for nuns. I enjoy having all these different religions fighting over which one… I don’t know, "has the right God!?" I get a kick, a mild one out of fire crackers. The more useless super-terrific-things in life are, the more I think they should be dis-intergrated from the face of the earth never to return.

(okay to get that last one, you might wan tot know this about me. If I see something without meaning and I haven’t for a long time. I can usually come up with something on my own to remind me to turn my head a away or start walking again. The gravitational pull of the earth alone will eventually remind me that I’m not really in pre-earth times and that I could move on and maybe see something else with non-meaning in the future, down the road.

To continue with my anti-humour. I feel I care about other peoples death too much, too little, never enough, too often. I’m concerned about the shape, length and diameter of my weewea. I really care what happens to woman and families that refer to themselves or their daughters as "an other candidate".

I’m concerned about the ozone.

I could go on and on. These a fucked up things. You know how people think different things about different things and that helps to make us different. Emotions actually. People feel differently about the emotions of people places and things and these differences makes us individuals.

But those things I mentioned are unemotional stupid things that people learn from other people or people on things. And well they seem to repeat them as code words, all the while unconcerned about the person with the crush behind them, that they don’t see or are unconcerned about. They repeat these things and we’re supposed to say, "hey that’s stupid," or you suck. Like their little magic suppositories that they can just put into their asses or brains. The male race. Yes here’s one more anti-humor. I’ve created the male race in an effort to provide devices to plug female orifices.

I know that sounds strange and true. But it could not be future from the truth. If your wondering to your self. Why have I created the universe. You might be thing about the parts about birthdays and stories to kids. And all that. That is like I said, relativity and a big part of being connected to God. But why. I know some why that is for sure. But his is about what. What is God. I know to you a lot will seem like why. Maybe more than when. But why did I create the universe.

My biggest thought on the topic, is so far. I haven’t met her yet. Maybe I met her and I don’t know she is her. Maybe she wont fucken tell me. Maybe she thinks she shouldn’t. I sure the fuck wish she would. You know like a secret or a vow.

Why the universe, was created and her. Actually I think that is more shy the galaxy was created. And I’m talking about the metal one. Sure I was way off. A universe created of just me and metal. Metal-me. But what was the sex like. I mean we were all the same thing. 3000 earth years to form a cube. And then splat an almost flat, what would you call it. You know splat Like a sphere no shape. From a super cube to a sphere in 30 years. Fuck that’s fast. I suppose it seems that way. The truth is it is not fast 30 years or slow 300 years, it is just something that happened prior to this world we live on. A super terrific thing.

If you never got a sun tan, would you miss tanning in the sun. I mention that in case a human is out there or a thing, wining and going on about how important they "must certainly be" because I’m God. Poor sad tired God must have really missed all of us. Down here on earth. I don’t know what he fuck they are talking about. Earth is the biggest pile of funniness I’ve ever created.

I mean it. God’s being born. Let’s blow up half of France. And when the cops come to stop us we’ll kill everybody and tell them it was the government.

I’m going to wank off latter, and a volcano will go off probably near killing about thousand people. I told them not to go there about, I don’t know, A zillion times.

The wank that created Godzilla. Think about how ordered my life must seem to you before this earth. One idea then the next then the next. Over and over again.

Nahh I got to laugh. Slowly over time, I’m done everything I’ve ever done here. Sure there are miracles. But almost everything, say over 50, 000 years to be fair. I’ve been through.

I thought I’d know if it was worth it, that way. That turned out to be as I say, "not bright!" I’m in the middle of a rewrite right now. It’s just you can have your foot blown off and grow it back. But to do it again five hundred years from now. It’s just not the same. I guess I knew though. Knew something good was going to happen. I’d be the most important thing on earth. But not the everyday concern.

I’d care about everyone, but not really too much. I’d hate myself sometimes and kill other people for doing the same thing. I’d be me.

God. Super-God. Shit I hope they don’t expect me to fly. I’m just going to be me. Me me me.

The there’s this girl. She might come along and try t change me. What can I do t help. Sure the changes will be temporary. They always are. Like she might stretch me out and do strange things to my mind. Then I’m let go of these, horrible awful thoughts and come all over her face, arms hair. Where ever I can get the stuff.

I’m just saying it might happen. Will I feel the same afterward though. Or will I run away. Will I fear having to go to the bathroom afterwards or will I be able to do what I have to do.

Will she care or will it be on a dare. Maybe I’ll care too much and a little piece of me will destroy her, grab her by the hair in the bedroom so close to pain that she’d swear she couldn’t tell the difference till I touched her arm with my hand.

Light touching flesh. Being tight. With the woman you love. Isn’t that what love is all about. How emotional can a person be. I would think if our emotional reaction to things was the same we would have the same personalities. Maybe if for some hysterical reason we feel into the same emotional synchronistical orbit. Maybe we’d have the same emotional reaction to the stimulus at the same time for like twenty four hours. Till the pain of laughing drove us indoor. Where we lay in fright that it might end under-the-covers.

Under the covers with nothing but our minds and our wits to guide us into some things to keep us together in the morning when or emotions would be cured of the day that we feared would hold us in the past.

Some Things I’d Like To Say.

First off I’ll choose me. The funny thing is in real life I would probably choose to talk about her first. The Goddess. The why is a goddess about as important as God in some religions. And truthfully above the lowest emphasized in the lease emphasized religion.

But enough about here, let’s talk about me. I’m here thinking it though, watching my we’ll do it man , they wont be necessary video. It occurred to me that I might try to find out a bit more of what I have planned for my self during the what. First off I have a huge thing to change in all these things. I found out why people turn Evil along the way. So if it never happened and your staring at the enemies gun. Believe me bullets take a long time to heal from.

Anyway I’ve got these lives and they are out there. You see I like you are now, found out what my life was like, about, you know, during my who. It was cool. You see who I’m going to be is based on. Well It’s based on this crazy life I’ve got started. That’s right. Basically let’s say the galaxy to not be too literal. This galaxy is designed by me. So I know…. In the end of my designing what I’ll end up being. A stayer or a leaver. Anyway this design will help me to discover who. Which I’ve done. Now I’m finding out what. And what is fun. For me what is funner. Absolutely. If you agree that I designed the fucken thing. Then without doubt I will now start having more and more fun. The what for me will be about combining different lives I’ve had in the past. This in turn mixed with the design, of the "galaxy" should combine into making me into what I am. I’ve said it, so mote it be.

Now will I truly be what "I" the big barracuda, the bender mind intender really is. Not really. You see there is a "galaxy" out there and that galaxy is a tiny part of me. Now that tiny part of me will have to combine inside me at some point in order to be refreshed. That way it will not be evil. In order for a substance to maintain non evility it must return to the source in a t proportional to the affects of its squared roundness.

Roundness can be taken to mean the "exactitude of how much I like" the substances separateness from myself. Basically if you watch a creature or object do something so cool that it almost appears to shimmer. The shimmering is based on the number of times the creature or thing must return to God, inside me, to the exact location of the object, or approximate location of the creature. This is all the way it is now. At least until I’m done whating.

Anyway back to this Goddess thing. Why do people worship her so, Why do people think I‘m gay. The answer is tied in the same thing. For you see like most people I want the best for my goddess. You would say girl, woman. Dogs cats puppies all those things have there own names. Earth, water or steal etc. so on and so on infinite.

Well like I said the best. Not the most comfortable, or the most hommie, the most cool, or the best actor.

Now when I want something like a clean spring day. I go outside and if I self it right, I’ll have a nice clean spring day. Now if I was taking my goddess outside to have a spring day. I wouldn’t want a nice or a bad or a square or a stupid, spring day. I’d want the best.

Maybe I’m talking to my weather self and I’m going has she seen the one with the cloud you know the one with the spae in just he right spot, or the one with the shower and we have a place to go to. The best. I would want he best for me. Truthfully for myself I could be more fair. I think I’m drifting towards being nice to myself. Like I said in the plan. I’m in recovery. Well that’s right I think life is fair to myself. Or it sure the fuck should be. Anyway so when I’m with my wife or getting ready to get with her. I like anyone else want to give her the best. So how does this affect the gallexy everything in it and yourself while making me look gay.

You see when the possibility of us getting together draws close. There is a movement of the usual force that guides the wise. It begins to double. All of a sudden there is a force to providing the best for her. Just as strong eventually as the one for myself.

So basically you’ll see places she might go to as different. Becoming the best. I can not over emphasize enough how her life is not about being the best version of what hollywood true money lives better is. I think that world sucks.

But you will see a difference. I guess I can see why some people wouldn’t like her the "galaxy" moves for two now not one.

Some people enjoy pleasing a woman more than a man. It’s that fucken simple. So I guess I can see why you might enjoy the thought of me being with someone more than even myself.

I’m giving some stuff up. Like any person in any relationship, I’ll be giving stuff up. And that’s okay by me. I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I’ll use my imagination about what life could have been like before we ever got together.

The coolest places to be for me are going to be the ones where we are both together. Those places for me will rock. We are the bestest and the fairest. Hanging out together.

So you see if your thinking, like a real person in a real world, hey I’m putting a thing together and it feels like I’m doing it for God but the thing I’m putting together is feminine. It’s because you are doing it for me, for her. You see, it’s nice there is this little time delay before it really set’s. Some things are worth redoing. If you look back any story I tell her. (if you haven’t guessed I’m a story freak) Any story I tell her will include me telling her the story so there is even probably a masculine and feminine divine thought to it as well.

You know it’s so nice to get this into words. I feel so much better about a lot of things. It’s very hard to get used to people who you know and trust always wondering if your gay, or a half/man half/elk or something.

I know I have to laugh.

Anyway so that is it. The whole Goddess thing is based on yes things are just as good for her in away, not what she thinks is best. You run into a girl who is claiming that it is what she thinks is best. Shoot her. I’m no forgiveness machine. You’ve really deiced to be the bad guy during all this don’t think you can suck my squalonge and have everything okay.

You do however get the huge Goddess thing. I mean man, if your, say a person, who doesn’t really enjoy this male universe thing, the whole things going to seem quite male and female pretty soon. Even with the time delay on the female side. That’s what makes it feminine.

I think that’s neat really when you look at it. Maybe I am just a product of this universe. I know usually you’d swear I could bust the local equivalent of a boulder over my head. Yet in this world I’m so close to human. It was a scary part of who. Trying to be what in a way really. It’s definitely me to help myself. But who for me was more about what God is. Not what yeeyoh is. Finding out what God is was finding out who I am. Just like finding out who you are will be like finding out your God. I think that is true. When you truly know who you are it will be as cool for you as when I’ve known I was God.

Actually, I’ve got so many actualities going on that there are far too many to write.

Finding out what Yeeyoh is is going to be far more interesting for me. YOU see ever since this concept of something separate from myself existed. I’ve been obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it. There must be a thing that I’m trying to do that will make al the mistakes and thoughts and fears and fuck ups worth it. Like all the cool stuff we have today. What I think is nifair and what I think is best. So here we are. I will now attempt to be what right here on planet earth in an attempt to make the "galaxy" a permanent thing.

This may take more than a week. I have to laugh, "is it in the original design?" No not really. The original design included me dying in a blaze of glory on a cross. I don’t know though. I think it was the shit or the piss though. Something about taking what was good and then shitting or pissing out the rest.

I’d have to do more research.

Well, there are a couple of other notes that I should make about the female and me. First. I’m a cave man. I like to be clubbed over the head taken home and made love too. That woman should be the woman I end up with. There said it. Anyway I should also like to say how she’s Unique. You know how being unique was fun, when you young and stuff. And then all of a sudden you here Brian, half of you didn’t even know I was God then. Remember that was what who was all about then as well. Well, anyway, there you are as unique as fuck and I Brian go yelling about Individuality. Then you all become individuals and do you as I’ve said, stare at yourself till you make a mockery of yourself. Or do you go I was a pretty cool unique person now I’m going to be a pretty individual unique person.

You know how we in the eastern hemoshpere, north and south america. And that crazy thing down south. We have our robot times. Well her’s is being Unique. I know it seems strange, like you thought you had one of those home kids, because he was into the feminine side of the force thing. Back in the eighties. Then it turns out that he wasn’t gay it was just that unique people get way more into doing that feminine crap anyway.

Anyway me in love with a unique person. Who would of thought. She’d have to be her. Who else. In this crazy mixed up world the oldest person I can think of off the tip of my head who is unique, living and not the one. Is about 300 years old.

secret. We’ll call them the late catholics. Anyway so my guess as of this writing is as good as anybodies. Also it’s holding up the teleporting crap and all that as well.

Me not know. Which I do. But not here. Unless you know, it’s an emergency.

Of course I could go on and on about what I don’t like. Which I love to do sometimes, but to say the need for some sort of joy in the world is of a deep and penetrating nature is an understatement.

Anyway if anybody is trying to get the flow gong in there life and they don’t know what they are doing. Here is the deal… say there are about forty two little pleasure principals that you have to hit. Now each of these pleasure principals are very important. Not just for me and her. For you at least. Anyway. If for some reason you don’t like say the lower prices. Well there you go all those other ones will never be quite right. They’ll always be sort-a wrong.

That’s just the way it is. Its like mono-thermanucli-aro-dynamics. Sure we could here what the professor and all those other people have to say on the topic. But instead we could wait till it’s the easiest thing in the world and enjoy the thing that what ever the thing is that we get to enjoy by or from any body but me knowing what that is.

Back to the flow this though. Do you get what I’m saying. There are things in this Universe meant to change. And things in this universe that are not. Like a tree will grow different fruit. If we don’t starve during the process from one edible fruit to the next. Animals grow way different. That’s the that on that. But People we look the same. We have a primal design. We’re built like the metal galaxy, the light bulb galaxy. We are meant to survive the destruction of this universe. That’s quick judgment though. Ever see a disaster movie. Woman and children first. How your going to fit into a different dimension don’t get me started.

Okay so like those rules those waked out crazy God wrote them ain’t nobody but God supposed to fuck with them. Those rules are involved with the flow thing. Spring rains and cars driving by care too. Well those rules, those rules will not allow my best for her and fair for me to occur. Sure I had a great time, sure it was great. But would I go back. Would I spend my money there.

I fucken hate the her best people. If they are too stupid to clue into the fact that we are talking about God here. Well fuck’em what used to take 63 years. Is now becoming forty three etc.

Sure you look at the ass on that 300 year old blind chick and tell me if you wouldn’t pause a minute before shoving her off into the category of shit disturbers. They want some shit to though in the fan. Then it get in the air and we end up breathing and almost eating shit, instead of shitting it out.

Ohh yeah, three years, two years, …. Hah hah ha!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah but that is about it. What isn’t who, it’s what, like the materiel, the imagination. The need to create. The desire to create things that create. The imagination. The hypyr-vision. The thought waves the growl.

Unique. Yeah she’s unique. What is unique. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. She’s still finding out who. Unique I always loved unique people. Easier to tell I was God. If you knew how many people crawled around me trying to find out, "why are you so different". It makes the number of countries and almost countries I was talking about earlier. Well, like more. There were more of the let’s call them, "the beetle people".

And well the flow and how it’s affected by this unique being. It must be cool to know God loves you. Your like. Well your liked loved by God. Most of his friends are pretty doped up when it comes to this one person thing. And the rest of the people want to kill you a little more than God. Not way more mind you. But a little more.

Don’t worry I get my spirit during what.

Ohh yeah I’m not summing up the what will continue I will continue it’s going to continue. I’m the continuer. The one who’s is continuing while I’m continuing about continuing.

Ohh And I just time traveled when no one was looking and if you hate me for it I hope you burn in hell. Ha ha ha ha.

I Know I Haven’t Titled In A While

Well, here we are the great work. The straight man the strange man and I know I am that man. The be all end all, man. The man, A man. A man amongst any men. This is my fate. The fated fate. The end of destiny and the beginning of Destiny. The zame the end is the beginning the how long can you keep wring man. I’m done, I guess……. Sure I could go on about how I love you and you love me. And all that. But that would be silly. That would be uncool. That would be the greatest thing I could do.

I’m going to take some time to my self. Get my computer in order. Redo some pictures ahead of time. And get back to you, which is me. Oh did I mention that. We, meaning you are all inside of me. AM I actually ever inside myself. I’ll have to get back to you one that. I also have to get around to explaining that all the plants, trees rocks all in their proportion are inside of me. Don’t worry I don’t think the humans, will be able to take us out. We are strong, we are veggie.

Hi How Are You Today.

I’m writing in reply to the resent notice that I might only be pretending to be "The King Of Israel" Now I know. I just heard that too. Isn’t strange that people who think that they would never "sell out" are trying t get me to think that those gang names where all a joke.

Now weather I was ever in a gang is technically weirder than you might think. They don’t actually all meet like a young person might wonder. They do things like masturbate in the same place and smell each others sperm to see if the person before them was the right person. And those are the straight guys.

Anyway I wasn’t really. I mean I’m a nice guy when I have a smoke and stuff, but remember you might be taking that smoke away from some one I care about. And so on etc. etc.

Anyway you should see the guys I hang out with in that world of not quite always all persons meeting. There’s guys there that, well I don’t know I’ve met a couple that they couldn’t quite pull of you can "surely sit the fuck down."

Stuff like that. I met a guy once who proved I was God. For one thing about to go APB hog shit wild all over the air waves. But I decline to say what "his" day job is.

Anyway. Real fun in the real world. I always come across as the guy who’s getting himself killed. I always salute, the I’m not into not getting you killed as much as that people. I think it is them above all others that make me care about the people I care about. Cause fuck man, you see a guy who can wrestle a alligator and he looks tired on a Friday. Well things are getting ruff.

It’s fun though. I enjoyed my fight in Toronto and all that. But I always enjoyed being the guy who just couldn’t fight. You know the funny guy. The "Bullet’s, smullets," guy. The guy who could just laugh that stuff off, if there wasn’t some guy trying to execute me with his "scope" all the next, ohh let’s just say three weeks. You know "hanging out."

Those were the days. This city makes hanging out look like some sort-a. I don’t know is it the lack of colour. Is it the fact that everybody around here worth caring about is so, (fuck, and darn come to mind) tired that they just can’t quite celebrate, the next day. Like in the big city.

Yes, I’d like to believe the big cities aren’t going to turn into a big cease pool during this but. The rich man comes in for vacation. He’s got cash. The guy at the counter wants to sell pop for the right price. Can he though, can he desert all his friends just to screw the guy over who loves his city so much he’s willing to go there on holidays.

I don’t know but it seems like that. First it’s an air raid siren. Then it’s the increase at beer prices at your favorite place. Then the homeless are very cordially rounded up and taken off the street. Next comes the stereo-typical suburban version of what fun is. Then it’s the guy with the strippers’ up the road. At this point in the holidays. He looks normal. And it just goes on until the local favorite "politician is getting a blowjob from a girl other than his wife. And he’s turning to me, God saying don’t worry my wife will forgive me because, I go that thing done you asked for.

And he thinks it’s about rounding up "terro-homeless white people" who are sheep or something.

Anyway, I have no intention to explain a world like that. But those gangs in the "wilds" smelling each others sperm. He’s what I call around here. "Fancy-sperm" he might not see it. But he ties all his decisions (if you want to call them that) based on the reputation of his party, or reign. If you wan to get into the fancy talk.

It’s him and the gangs or the gangs and him. Or "The gang" and there’ll all going hey. How was tommies year. And how was your year. Don’t worry next year will be better and all that. And it just keeps getting worst and worst.

The true politicians make great changes and they rock. And if there truly great they hate standing out, because standing out means the previous, one two or three and four. Politicians sucked. And their citizens deserve more.

Anyway back to the fun part. We love the citizens. Some of us have even loved them. My only panic on this is the fact that the Human, and I use this turn loosely. Actually ahs limits to the amount of "non-successful love" they can give… Before you just don’t give a fuck any more. Etc. etc.

Think about that when your trying to save that whore or who ever that is working the street. You know the only thing they ever said to me was. Your God, so you not really a man. So your alright. And I think she was lying to get me to open the door.

Anyway don’t get me started on the male fuck ups.

If I’m The King Of Israel. Is She The Queen.

I don’t know. Oh I was going to mention that I don’t plan on winning this Isreal thing overnight. It will take about ten years from the time I started this years fun. The coolest countries have probably given themselves about fifteen years.

I know when you live up hear life is so fucked. You just don’t know what it’s like.

How much what is my love for who. Ohh yeah we decided to cancel the whole spy loving me thing. It seems to cause the person to really want to fight for there country. Which is great but there are so many countries and they kind-a see something there. It’s not true but if they could make it true. U.S.A. might for example say that all the races are the greatest. That they are all needed to get things done, to be real, to be able to stay afloat in this world.

Of course they would want this. There country is the biggest melting pot. Of norms, hopefuls, weirdo’s, helpful helpers and craziness than anybody has ever seem.

You see they are wrong. Racism sucks even helpful racism. It’s just not good. I want to hang with the guys who are hanging. I want to be myself. They do to they just don’t want you to know who they are. Just like, are you ready, "any normal human being."

I don’t know maybe it’s well. This city is weird. If your into North/South america right into the bone and you love the creete thing. Your probably not going to love this city too much. The torque to my safety is so hi most days that it would send you up the wall.

Me too really. I mean I love it I like to know when it’s really really up there. Like now.

Okay here’s the problem. I’m supposed to be writing this book about what. Oh by the way I’m finished. And then along comes the thought of the girl. Ever hear of a band, everything but the girl. Well that is about how most of my life feels. I’m the type of guy. Well, you toast is burned. You either pick up a couple of new pieces, or you scrape off the burned part. And that is that. No mocking the toast. No making fun of it. It’s just sad. I mean I know deep down. I’m like having a three way conversation with the toast. It’s fun. But I don’t know I just can’t get into it on my own. It bugs me. And with the wrong person. Might as well put the soother in my mouth and I’ll just sit there and blink once in a while.

You know, "what you doing?" Not much. "How was your day?" "Not Bad."

You know dull. Dull people, who would have thought. Anyway, so I get talking about this girl. Like and now that is all that is on my mind. Not all my mind when I’m doing much of anything else. But at the same time when I go to write I wonder about her. Am I putting too much pressure on her. I mean I’m God. She’s got to be into that. Being God is what turned me onto this whole life thing to begin with. I mean you know. I loved being God, myself what ever. Hey let’s make something all that sort of thing.

But being God. Getting a grip on the fucker and really twisting my rule right screwed into it’s(the living, planet, you name its’) neck. Fuck that seemed like a good time.

I mean fuck, I’m God and what I’m doing should be important. That’s right life and death all day twenty four hours a day. I’m back, me they guy who wishes to fuck you would at least do something with your life, I mean you know like….

I’ll come up with something it’s my duty. Anyway back to this what thing. What will she make me like. What will she make me do. Who’ll get killed because of it. How many people will become (the slave to coincidence). Everything is a result of here. Robot reporting for duty. I’m kidding. She better change me though. This whole thing is designed to change me. Have you guessed the program yet. This whole universe is designed to make me remember not to give up on things I’ve created.

I don’t how to put that more literally. It’s cool dude, no problem. I’ll get it done. I will not give up. Someone is gong to come along that wont sell out in the wrong country and then it will be getting done. I’m not concerned. I’m not giving up on getting things done in time. Eventually, we wont need your sorry ass for that project.

Anyway. I’m sure eventually it will work. I just hope it’s in this life time.

Last Night

Last night I got in a fight. And it was brutal. I’m not sure really what happened. Lot’s of drinking and fucking. But when it was all sorted out there was Je-sus everywhere. I’m not sure. I’m lifting one guys legs and then I’m throwing myself over there. And there’s all these beautiful women everywhere. I must have been hallucinating.

Right now there are cabs and cars out there. We’re not even sure if half these people are there in the city. This might be a city to city thing. I find it funny. I’m judging the enemy. No, no thanks, get the fuck out of here. No no thanks get the fuck out of here. So if your older and your dying I’m sorry your death might stand out a little. It’s the time of the year.

Remember this may sound odd, but historically in about a bizzion bizzion years times fifty. Hitler just turns out to be misunderstood. Should this happen I’ll be sure to take a cool shower and come into bed. Make love to the wife. Laugh at myself in the mirror, and find a way to make the most permanent thing in my life.

Hell, you got to love me. I’m funny. Anyway I should continue. On a latter note a few of the faceless masses should know that a couple of them are actually in padded psyche wards waiting till they are totally here. If they choose to stay then it would be my pleasure to make them an entire person. In a few maybe five years or so. I might even come up with a whole family history. You could say, I’m from New, nouveu, brunswick. My family used to fish and hunt up North. It was way back in 1962 or something.

I guess I didn’t get to go there much. My parents never talked about that time much. Must have been pretty bad. Anyway , no where not hillbillies. We had a car and as far as I know the guy up the road still has the swimming pool. Religious, well as far as I can tell they had the shit scared out of you by the age of six or so. I don’t know if they’re still like that though. Etc, etc.

Those are the greatest. You should try that if you live in the big city. The guy from there, the guy doing well. He’d probably suck your knob to here a story like that. I guess it’s the type of thing where if you don’t know people live normal somewhere,,, You’d just go nuts.

It’s funny though, I think when I moved to the big city, they thought I was from an alien ship or something.

What drugs are you on. It’s not that,, who wasn’t… Do you know that you just went off the floor and that those people are studding you to copy "you" me basically everything.. for movies and stuff like that.

"yeah, (this is over loud music.) yeah but if you could not mention it I’d really appreciate it. I’m trying to have a little fun before I die and I don’t think I could continue to come here if I get to aware of them and what they’re really like.

Reply, "Okay, I thought you should know, Oh by the way I hate them too. "aside to self,,,(spiritual bri maybe I should ask him why they are here….) I have a friend who is into you. But she isn’t,,, the right fucken word. Anyway if you see her…

Anyway the chick turns out to be a narc stirring up shit for the latest language fight. First there’s the little one. Everybody, heh heh goes. I guess that’s okay. Them comes the torrent right in the middle of summer.

You ever live up north, right in the middle of fucken summer.

Christ, the first time I was, up north, as a person. I’m standing there and this big building "breeze" is biting through my face. The air is about –30 celsus. And as we maritimers say when we’re in those spots. It’s a fucken dry cold. And some ass in on TV screaming about wind chill. Had he said deadly, had he said might die. In the summer, I know it’s fucken you might hear about the heat exhaustion…. Blah blah blah.

And I’m leaning into it and screaming inside. The fucken joy the fucken fun. If I don’t make it to the subway station around the place in thirty minutes I’m going to die. I mean fucken rocken. For once it’s out of their hands. Fuck dude it was great.

Then your standing at a bus stop. And these two fucken racists are looking at me grinning. That night it was about forty below and die fucken no wind and the last bus of the night. No card, no money on me. Card no bank machine I think.

Anyway they look at me are you in pain, is everything hell on you. There’s a homeless person at the bus stop. Probably hasn’t had a chance to help anybody in about 20 years. There’s a homeless person, let’s ask her if she wants to come back with us to get warm. Minus forty on cement with a winter coat. Good fucken luck. Anyway no. You can get the fuck out. Drop dead. Thanks lady. People wonder when I ditched these arse whole I left Saint John with. Especially mister Chris Armstrong and his help you when your down story. Fuck them. Too bad most of my friends around here are what I recently call repressed homo-sexuals. Had anyone spoke up beside. Mrs. Fucken help’em when he’s down Armstrong.

Anyway, I hope that ladies okay. I hope she’s got the husband the kid. And I hope he’s a fuck’en rock star at school.

Hi.

Hi, I know you thought I was going to go on about. Me, I’m the one, and the only one. The one that means the one and I am that one. I could be no other than that one. I’m super one. The one from when Time began. There could be no other one than the one that is me that is the one.

Yes I guess I could go on an on. About how repetitive it would be to go on and on, about how I am the one. But I would like to say a few words about being the only one. God that is.

Over the next "few days" hint hint. We are probably all going to go through a phase were everybody starts to say. He ain’t the one. There ain’t only one. The one is just the who or the what.

The punch line is that they probably think that I can not doing any when or where stuff. I mean really I know I can, I believe I can. But can you believe I can too. And maybe just maybe you’ll get a glimpse at who.

You see there are other people who feel they run this world. And the closer this get’s to being the kind of world I want to have. The more and more these "old time fucks" are going to come out of the wood work and try to convince you otherwise. They do this because the closer it get’s to the top in the end. The more stupid it will make you to believe that I do not run this earth.

You see it’s their little secret. They absolutely do not want you to believe that I rule this earth. The "stars the moon the whole fucken earth."

And for that reason and that reason alone they’ve tried to kill little Brian all my life. Well hey someday I felt like killing myself too. If you think they love living their little secret. They sure the fuck love those days. Sometimes it’s when I’m taking a shit. I’ll be all constipated and then I’ll want to die. Great pain, great pain. Whoo whoo whoo. And then it’s out and over with.

Funny, If you where to ask em this tomorrow I would laugh my head off at the fact that I’d want to talk about that. Then if I’m with the right chick and you bring it up. I hope your girlfriends near cause we’ll talk about it and then we’ll all laugh at you and hope you die.

Fuck and me I don’t have to worry about what I hope for.

Anyway I was in the can , talking to the Indian and black man about what it was like to have to use camel skin for hut’s instead of grandma’s and how they’s stupid but not like we don’t fuck up once in a while.

I looked over at the skull I have to keep change in and I said to myself. I bet a lot of people think all that prestuff right up to "life" had a lot to do with the creation of this universe. I have to laugh.

Sure a lot of those things are here. Eventually it all will be. Either out there or up there or in here. And I thought know. I had a lot of cool ideas. Like there are these guys who look like chess pieces and they like talk. But not like we do. They’re like the timeless ones, I call them. Not all those ideas just those guys. And they would say funny things that made me think. I would say ideas everytime I got them to give me a laugh, but it happens so fast you would swear that that they got me to laugh. Anyway they are a fucken riot. I still get a laugh when I see them. They killed me, in the end. Just kidding. Fuck fuck’en hilarious.

Anyway, One time there is this wall of brick wood and there is a water behind it. A very dark water. And I’m "walking" towards the wall. I’m about to do a "little investigating" real serious like and then walking right up behind me. The timeless ones. Ohh my fuck I’m turning and laugh thinking about about what goings on because I’m not just thinking from the laugh like I usually would be supposed to. Then latter like now I realize that I might not want to investigate everything about woman. I might not enjoy real ones as much when they are around.

Fuck I think that was funny. Used here this one. There is a bar in Montreal called foufouns electric. And I go in and it looks way different than I remember. I’m like. It used to be bigger and all that. All this basically is is where white people go to trade drugs.

Anyway as time went on it expanded to the point where it started to look like the one I used to go to before time. Then about the time when they put in the swimming pool. In the one I used to go to. The started putting this gym thing in. I was disappointed till one of the Girls. (That’s what they called them back then) I had a crush on. Put up this sign thing right in the middle of the night. She was like on the wall or a step ladder or something. And I thought. Wow, you like it. It can’t be all bad. Off course the place pretty much went hell after that. Of course those who don’t believe those things might wonder about how much got done in one year.

I mean I’ve heard of expansion but his place was nuts. Ha ha. Fuck it would have been fun if those timeless guys showed up. But bye then I’d killed them because I couldn’t think of anything to do with them.

Anyway….Humm-a Maybe Not.

It makes me tired to talk about the old days. Night day. "what up with dat!?" I loved life. I was in love with life. And then it occurred to me. I must kill everybody so I could make an earth. This was the greatest day ever. Of course it took time and planing. But I manage to have some fun along the way.. So I decided to do the same here. I’ve had my who. It wasn’t easy. But to say I lived it well. I kept having to come back here for.

I Am A Race Of One.

I am a race of one. I am not all in one place. It’s fun. Actually I am according to all the laws of physics, math, neutronium, philosophy. Off all the other things though. If I may quote the timinazong, "he ain’t all there." Which I hear here. It’s right fucked up. I love being me. I know I know the most important things to get down is the protect the body stuff. Then it’s on to the weird stuff. It will make you laugh it will make you think.

I know I sound weird for writing this stuff down. I do though. Remember the sealed chamber. Who do you think lives at the end of this. Those that just couldn’t quite be our friends. Or those that decided. "This is fuck-en God man, I’m in !!!"

I’ll tell you truthfully. If your not prepared to be my friend. You’ll be dead. There ain’t know way about it.. There is no time to change. If your having a child right now. I hope your happy. If your really really into such a scene. Then if you could wait a few years. Let'’ say 2005 or so. Then I would really appreciate it. Maybe your kid will to.

I hate dad kid. I really do. Right in the middle of world war three. Don’t go dropping a babie in on the scene. Wait it out. What’s a matter scared your going to stay young. I mean yeah I know people have to age… Right now a few people I’ve seen around for about ten years are begging to look, I don’t know a week to a month older. It’s frightening. I mean is this to be it. I’ll always be young, well twenty three that ain’t too bad. But if I was with the right woman. Don’t you think we’d find a way. I mean this earth is upset and it does need dead people. But maybe with the right woman. I would be okay. I could either, learn to live with myself and dump her when she started to look old. Or I could maybe make her look young and then play around with her little child mind when she came home tired. You know like men are supposed to.

What Is It Like To Be God.

Well, humm. The funny truth of the day. Is in the real world there are suburbans and psycho killers. I Love then both? No in the real world there are good psychokillers and good suburbans.

If one was to take a pie chart and show the amount of good psycho killers compared to the amount of good suburbans. Like if they all hung out the psycho killers and the suburbians. You would find that the good psycho killers and the good suburbans all out number the others.

Now which group has the highest percentage of good suburbans to good psycho killers. The psychokillers. They are on a mission. They have embraced life. As their psycho analysts though. Why do they come after me, and if that is true, how come I’ve never been killed by one. Often a bad psycho killer or a bad suburban will see something that makes them think God can help me. I think God alone can help me.

They might say what does he like. The suburban might open a shop, a diner or something. Someplace where people gather and they "chew the fat".

The psycho killer might want to do the same. The thought is as you’ve probably guessed. In The connection. Like I said earlier. What are you here for. Why is your life important to me, or me, or me. No matter what the mood I’m in. Well there you go the psychokiller might have a connection. Something they like. But it’s like the diner thing. I love diner things. They are like my Israel. The coolest of the cools. There all the time all over the world, and once in a while I go in. I have my breakfast. And I know that everything is okay.

So what does the psychokiller have to offer. Like I would have said "ham and eggs" and now said breakfast. The thing, the connection psychokillers offer me is Time. If you take the four bonds of marriage. I’d been going on about. Magic, natural magic,(I don’t know, don’t tell.), Let’s say Fung Shui, or What has happened to me, (Time). Everything I know that has happened to me is "Time".

What we consider time is just that and it is a bond of marriage. Very important to me. Is magic even in time, really. Is natural magic a part of time just as important. Is the blending of two lives, a blending that goes forever in time. Time. I’ve let some pretty fucked up things happen to me.

I am time. Now say that to yourself, if you’re here. "He is time". Being God is freaky, but the discovery of being time is freaky too. Everything that happens to me affects time. This has happened to me before. If you’ve ever heard stories about me being with friends and coming back all freaked out, from a walk on "the mountain."

It’s because, you know how you do stuff to me and I let it go… Something stopped me from telling them to stop because they would get hurt. Time. You see I’m God. I don’t forgive, forget, forgobble. But even if I wanted to tried real hard. It was a mistake, you know al that stuff. If I’ve been personal affected in anyway. It will come back to you. That means anything good, anything bad you do to the earth, air, moon stars, myself’s yourself. Me, myself in person. Any of those things that get back to me, passed out or otherwise. Have affected time.

Sorry to go on about that too much. But if you look at the forth really strong vow of marriage. It is just as strong and complicated. I saw a guy appear in a store, just to stop something that would affect his marriage, maybe ten, twenty years from now.

So who has the better life. Psychokillers, suburbans. I think it comes down to your vow of marriage vows. Of of of this is getting of. Magic, do you like that, you do stuff and you would swear people around you are doing stuff to get things done for you and then you get to see people appear and stuff. Natural magic. You look like your fucken dead or possessed sometimes then these people are like talking to you that haven’t said hi in a while.

Fung, shui. Where things around you seems like it has to be moved, "Once in a while." Until the other person comes along, and then it’s like there’re moving stuff too.

Yes in the real world you get to see furniture stores open and close, stuff like that.

Or Time. Me what happens to me affects your marriage. Yes it is a little more complicated than with another person. This that we do affect me. And things that are done to me. The only way, this is done directly, in a normal sane world. Affect me too.

There is also the fact that my marriage includes all four.

Well, that’s it I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m going to go on and on about my wife now.

The formal bows of marriage though. Fuck that is cool. All a person has to do to get with me, have magic vow, natural magic vow, Fung Shui vow, and Time, including affecting time directly.

Of course the diner I eat in affects me directly. The clothes I wear affects me directly. So to those other types of suburbans, those psycho killers. That are going to give me my earth. That are going to let people worship me. Etc. Those those that feel they can control magic, nature, fung shui, Time. I say "Good Fucken Luck." Because according to or research according to our reconnaissance. You be dead.

It’s funny. I’d love to own a shop during a fung shui experience. One minute your all setup things are going good. Next thing you know it’s like a storm. You’ve got to be somewhere. You’ve got to get things done. The storm is coming, or the "breeze that does not blow." And if your in the right place or out of there. Your screwed. Your gong to be the one sinking the ship. Someone has taken your place. There’s no reason to panic. You’ve missed the wave, abandon ship. You might come out alive. The shop that is. You didn’t do anything directly to poison or dissuade my brothers.

Life the big lie. If all I had to offer life. Maybe one person on this entire planet would take that. There is something very sexual about what I’m saying when your just lying there.

I have more to offer though..(I better be careful or she’s going to be all what instead of who. Heh heh heh. Maybe I wont be too hard to be with because I’m fucking God and it will balance out. And there is other stuff too.

But I do have more to offer people than just life. Trust me, If I don’t want you to be alive, I’m taking that gift back. Constantly as we speak, till the year 3000 if I have to. But there is other things than life. There is magic, and nature, real magic in nature. And there is Fung Shui. To avoid kung fu cutting each other when your making potatoes years latter.

And then there is Time, not God pursay keeping you together, who’s ta say. But Time it self. Over time and under time and did that sound nice and know why life ain’t fair. It’s the best I could do. And turning on the TV while I stand there glaring going I told you there is nothing Good on. And you’re the kidd being the kids who turned it on. And you better not pull a blow job on me or take one away after that. It could be the power plant. And I thought the Fung shui would work and it didn’t because the rooms to small and it turns out I thought you were in the now. And it me being stupid talking to you with my mind and I kiss you to make it up and it’s because I wanted the best for you. And without even knowing it you’ve made me feel like I’m the best. Cool. Because I’d never say that. I might think it. And then I’d realize your not in the now and we’d know each there so well. It would all work out. And even if hell itself. Pretend hell. Was to occur. I’d still kiss you and you would leave me, because we’d be like, kill them all and let God sort it out. And like no one would come alone with there fucken Napalm. Dish deodorant to seal in the death. And those fuckers would be dead.

I think I should get this down, before I go to far in this book. If you need me. Separate from you not mathematically the same. Not earth ingredients the same. Not from the same pod. Philosophically I might wonder about.

But some people might wonder about. Have you ever seen the guys who can protect their kids. Like there is a storm in the rain on TV or anything like that. The grab the kids and run away before the lightening get there. You see there is a difference between a lightening storm and just a rain storm. I always liked the run into the house and then back out when the sun comes out sort of approach.

Anyway, as the the sun shines in the sky and I have a pretty good idea where the trees are in the ground. There is a pattern to this universe. Like tree roots growing up though the ground. The ground and the tree, "agree" that this will take place. The process will require both the earth to open, let’s say, and the roots to enter the deeps of the earth even more. This is the way it is. Some people live their lives that way. Is this what I mean by natural magic. If your thinking your the only one who can get there kid out of the lightening storm along the way. You’ve lost your way along the way.

So I guess technically once again, people who follow God aren’t worried that their father is some evil bastard trying to kill them. While on the other hand those that are are hopefully all okay and ready to get back in there. and everything will be okay in the morning. Or the next morning. New world. Pretty much the same. Not much different. What are they going on about.

Enough about you though. This is my Book. I’m God and this is what and I’m trying to find out what. About myself. I don’t like to be convinced that I’m not God. Remember I found out a lot about what you call what God is and all that along the way as well. And I really don’t like to be told I’m not what God is, or when people get way off base about what God is. I’m finding out what. And that may sound like how I make a decision, or who gets to live or die. But what is more about what I am. I know we live in math, and science, and the laws of physics and stuff. "That’s all cool and the gang." But what am I. What am I made of. Like I said. Really by the end of what. I’m not sure I’ll be built in Time. What am I. Yeah I can see that. That is a great who. I’ve traveled the universe. Stuff like that. Mostly the Fung shui’ers. How the fuck did that happen… Magic. Natural magic, natural selection. The species meeting down to the very fiber of this f-ing thing this time. When I say I’m a Masculine straight God. It does mean I don’t like. Any man, or women who are into women. Staring at me so much they are seeing my let’s say graph/graft or fiber of my being. But is going to take time for the enemy to stop doing.

Time what do the what my being has experienced people talk about. We’ll everything from "Star trek" to how "I" teleported into that store. Bone’s reporting, "If I have to do that again. You can rip out my skull if it makes you feel better" They talk about stuff like that.

Doesn’t mean your going to die if you kiss a tree. Doesn’t mean your going to drown if you moved a store into a place you two don’t go to. Doesn’t mean if you tell a guy that "Q sucked his knob." Your going to die. Magic. Don’t fuck with the magic. I’ll give you a clue. If all I said before means God can take a Joke and we all have our moments and sometimes I get angry over something I couldn’t do myself. It especially means don’t fuck with the magic. Magic people, magic things. Two separate things. You ever heard of stop playing God. Never on your life in a million fucken years fuck with the Magic. People who claim to be part of magic,,, I’d like to know how. Never even bother with them. They are too fucked up. I can definitely see being a person going, "I’m a crystal, I’m a crystal" all sorts of things like that. Some are outright hilarious. Anyway it’s a thing like staring at my uterus or something. You might come out alive.

The Closeing Of The End

Yes, I’m drawing near to the end of this book. I’d just like to say that I started doing this for something to do before it would be safe for my bride and me to get together. If you could take the thought of heading towards the right girl makes your life better. Or heading towards the wrong girl makes your life worst, then this is definitely the right girl. I mean I’ve never had such an easy time writing a book. I’m digging it.

Right now in Saint John, there is so much going on. Cereal killers off to the left. Rapist and lunatics visiting and being judged everyday. As far as fun and good times go. There is a bar. I think a secret lesbian, lair where they lay their traps by setting up males to, take the fall, in front of their mindless Home-wives.

Yes I can see their plan so easily. Like I can start to see mine. Oh be the way if you’re a friend and all. Don’t try and rush too much through this book. I’m not in a hurry to get to the when. And these are, not mostly, very not mostly, expressions the when and the where and all that. I mean if you have something in the past you have to change or something like that. Don’t think rushing is going to help.

Also, maybe once this sets in we’ll all enjoy a little rest.

Right now there is a war on American television. Troops paraded across the screen. Soon, there will probably be troops that died in the gulf and other wars right there on the TV. Years latter they where going to fight for something. Nothing in there world has changed. They still look for a world with invisible walls.

You want to give me money for something, "no strings attached", fine. No problem. I might even give you an autograph. Someone got one the other day. I wont say who but their friends could sure learn some manners.

Hey I just thought of a even more summation way of saying, or writing the commands. People without manners don’t matter. I mean that scientifically of course.

Like I was saying though, if your out there and you wan to pay me for some miracle or favor. Have already passed the don’t pay the church test. Don’t look for someone else wounds to un-heel. I’ll take it out of your ass instead.

The only thing I ask is that you. A, very important, don’t pay some ex-cereal killer rapist/chicken fucker, to come in here and give me a cigarette.

Happens every day. Jesus, I know Jesus, Then it’s off to the races, or where ever else those people go. Haven’t seen a dime yet, not a scratch.

As I’ve mentioned, the local zone is also crawling with every-type of crook, asshole and racial-stereotype the world would imagine.

You might think they are all after me, no. There were hoping to turn Saint John and New York, into well. A lawless zone, I guess. You know a place for crooks to go when the heat was on, that sort of thing. If you’ve ever stalked a cereal killer or tried to prevent what I sometimes refer to as, "a long haul hustler." (They don’t do bold criminal activity, then are used for a killing or mass murder, some are retired and some are retired.) Then you know that places like this are as resting places for the criminals, a place where they can come to take off running factor. My local nut house is a good example. That place has been taken over I couldn’t tell you how many times. Always with the same result. They begin behaving like the people who used to work there before. It’s in the walls as they same.

And then of course the long haul hustlers are there as well, trying to learn to blend in. The funny part is there trying to blend in with a bunch of hardcore criminals. Good practice. But that is what they try to do.

I imagine, New York must look like every hardcore criminal, every international leader killer that is still living, is walking around going yeah we got them.

If they got away with so much, how come they have to be so stoned. How come they, they can’t live with themselves, How come they have to come here and go there to hide. What’s a matter did you join the wrong side.

Yeah, so like I said, this city is way to dangerous, for ma and pa, to come breezing though to pay me for anything. But if you feel like it cut out the middle man. That includes, no phoning my bank. I might decide to use how you know what bank I have I a court of law. No phoning my folks or family matters. Telling them how to live. The list goes on, it also includes not phone my government, any branches of the military, or police departments. All these are viewed as an attempt to have "real men" fall into your stereo-typical born again view of what I am. I am not your new television monetary "Love-desiple".

Take your cash enjoy your summer holidays and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

On a personal note I think I killed someones hitman today. Sorry about that but I don’t take being stalked lightly. I think they wan to be near death or something, look, if you knew how small a part of my life death is. I think a lot of those people would lose their fascination with me.

In a life time of maybe a billion years. Death will eventually be one second of it.

What A Citizen Should Know

Well for one thing, I’ve taken over. No all your governments pensions etc didn’t disappear. But I’m sick of it. This need for me to have a day Job, well paying or otherwise. Is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or heard of in my life. That is why I made you all half evil to begin with. I’m sorry for anybody who got caught in the cross fire. Myself included. It’s stupid though and I’m not putting up with it.

The local crazies and killers aren’t weren’t really zoning in on death, even though they do it more and more everyday. I think many of them get a kick out of people disappearing when the distance between us grow too long.

Anyway the people who send them around and ship them are probably hoping just for the place to rest and learn. They’re actually hoping I’ll move soon so they can make fun of many things. Personally they like to have me in a city like Montreal where they can make fun of me, as a failure for not joining their kill and steal for a living "economy". As they make fun of global governments for making God have a day job. The part about what they are making fun of government for is funny. All they offered me was jobs and lifestyles that would take more time than any day job I’ve ever thought of.

So the both of them, the wrong side and the right side offered me day Jobs anything, but stop being God. Funny more and more citizens don’t want to put up with it.

I can’t blame them though. I lost any thought that government, global or otherwise would work out long ago. Truthfully. With what I know, I can over no faith, that the government of this country or any other country is going to do anything for me for being God.

I’ll probably end up getting a day job eventually. Only when I’m sure it’s not going to affect what I do the rest of the time though.

I know, if your thinking my life is hell or awful, you should know that my job can be done while eating pizza or having a coke at the mall.

I wont on the other hand be cleaning a toilette or scubbing a chalk board in front of a class while I’m ascending someone to hell or holding observances over a dying/dead grand mothers funeral.

So I do a lot. I like to have control of myself. (I’m taking over). No if ands or buts. If you think that means you joined the wrong side. Your wrong though. Because I’ve told you. Manners, is the right way to live. And that my friends, is true.

I think it’s important to to remember, that as You’ve turned to God through out your life and I’ve given you advice. I stick by what I’ve said. You might be an asshole who I’ve fooled into thinking that your going to win the war. Or you might be doing things that you never thought you’d do. And loving it. Of course you might have to move on or stop sometime in your life too. Like I’m asking these "world leaders" to do. We’ll see who let’s go easier. Each and every one of them had the chance or opportunity to just call it quits and go home.

I’m looking forward to seeing the light on this book. It should offer many interesting things that might help with me getting into being myself again. Sure I’ve been myself. But not on top of it myself. You know I’ve been behind the scenes me. Not right in your face me. It’s funny you know the local killers and thugs. If you give them the finger. They phone the police. Fuck I’m glad I don’t have people like that working on my side. My guess is they probably kill old ladies and people right after surgery. Because no one else would hold the hold the blade for them when their hands got too week.

Fuck, I bet they don’t like the word fuck too much either. Men and women, who were never really raised well, all looking for their mom or dad out there in the wild. I laugh, why didn’t they find God. Well because I’m not really your mom or your dad. Shit I’m not even related to you at all. If I didn’t have two arms or legs you’d probably think that I was like everywhere or something.

My Mohawk

Well, I’m thinking about getting a mohawk, I know it sounds weird. God with a mohawk. It’s only going to get worst. Who knows what I’ll look like at the end of this book. I mean I God, I’m me, I am Yeeyoh. A good mohawk. If anybody was watching this video the other day. They had a back-fly about these people who’ve chosen to live, sort of like those beings I’ve talked about earlier. The ones that made me laugh and stuff. Anyway, you got-a include the business men, who look almost the same. We never see their wives, and the roomers of cars are not for the young.

Female business types who would have thought…

Anyway, as all that old stuff is phased out this will become more and more the reality. So hear I am, some of those things as old, or older than shape. And I’m watching this and thinking ot myself, realizing that the form, or shape of my bride must be something from that time as well.

The look, oh yeah I’m spreading disease and pestilence throughout the youth who judge each other by looks and economic/social status. My way of saying grow up.

So what does she look like. I mean sure each person has an individual DNA pattern that tells what they have done what are going to do and what they tried to do. And woman, who are the smarter species when compared to man, spend quite an amount of time working on their looks. Many have a look. On a comical note; the possession of an idea for a look will often cause the weaker of the species to wait till they see that look on another of their species.

Often the a new look will be copied by these people while they wait for others to form their look. Many women do not enjoy their look being copied. Most people learn to live with some sort-a compromise.

Well, what is her look. I know it changes, she changes with me over time. It’s like watching my desires in slow motion like a beautiful black wedding dress bride twirling in air. Slowly as what I’m really into changes and forms and takes shape she evolves into liking it as well. Much like the couples will arrive at a conclusion.

But is the form that way as well. I would say. Physically your way off if you think I’d know who would chose me. Not without looking at the DNA. But then again she’d have to have chosen me at a young age. Then to have chosen me early enough to know what she was getting into.

Then as the development continues she should have noted key changes in her DNA. Like many "punk rock brides" at this point she might decide to back out of the whole deal. I mean fuck man, I got a life," you know that sort of thing. But if she continue to think I was going to be her husband, all through, the You don’t know who I am, I can’t feel like I am, this ain’t going the way I had originally planned. She might at this time decide on a look. What does Gods wife look like. Reading material. There’s more reading material on you, my bride, than there is on Hitler Stalin, and Quebec, put together. I, "think" they refer to her as the Goddess.

There is even strange references to early, "punk rock brides" explaining why they couldn’t form so close to "the womb". I think one of the references is the three sisters at the cross roads.

Once the DNA is in motion, for trully yours should never form.

The look, is composed of what you think you should look like to be my bride, the form which is in outer, or what could be referred to as interstellar space. This form and your experience and experience at looking should help with the look if your helping to form this look. Oh yes by the way I thought I’d mention this, when you take on these looks or any looks like them, you should know that they are registered to to let’s say the planet or universe itself. I am not reasonable for any result of having or wearing the wrong look.

Should something regrettable occur you might want to search for the right look before changing. This is all to prevent anything awful occurring. Should you begin to look like stereo-typical over 65 year old looking person you will no longer be held responsible for looking the look you’ve been looking like.

Top avoid anything to tragic, please try to at least be trying to have a look that suits what you and I think you should look like. Should your look really look the opposite of all that then your in for something very tragic.

I’ve always thought of her as the best looking girl in any room. To the point of having trouble making friends. It’s common, these materials she owns. The design is older than this universe itself. There is a personality there you know. I’m not going to change that, who’s personalities the strongest we’ll have to see. Many religions and cultures talk about the Goddess, for hot she really is. I’ve discussed the flow and give and take and the universal time components of what it is to be together with her.

There is a personality to being my wife though. I know the plans been changed since I first got here. All the way back to the original 0063 truthfully. So the personality changes back there as well, becoming what I need it to become. Again and again, my faithful companion. Right by my side since I decided to do it. To be to exist. To not just be ,a being, floating in the void. To truly go on with my life to take shape.

How far back does my look go. Do I have anything other than a look. What happened to my DNA. How different an I look. I think my I become my look till the point where my look becomes the center of what I can return to. Like I don’t know maybe I’ll be shaped like a lizard/dragon someday in bed. And as long as I can come back. That’s cool. But what so I look like. I’m not even sure that image I have of the sun is true. It’s an old memory. But a look, a real punk rock look. That is interesting. My funniest "reading" memories are of creatures of shadows all able to kill me almost instantly. Not even thinking of it though. Wondering maybe why I was there, why I had come to visit their strange lands. I loved the shape of them though. Like if they made love to each other the shadows looked like they could rub up against each other, like we move skin to touch each other.

So do I have a look, or am I a look stealer. Actually the looks match the planet time of the universe we are in so technically, yeah I do have a look. Cloths, how to make real fabric, not shadow fabric part of my look, or should I bother to do that.

What do I and she sound like. That’s a good one too. Maybe we have different sounding voices for certain occasions. Like if we’re making fun of people who are stupid or stupid looking, do we have an original voice that we use to do so, one that makes it hard for them to notice.

Maybe making these voices and stuff is fun. They all are the looks, the sounds, the voices, the touches and most of all the miracles. Maybe I’m not asking for a girl that can be into anything or change into anything, maybe it’s about miracles touches, voices, sounds, looks, and manners. Each to their own degree.

Funny once again I got talking about her and away I went. How much of this will change. Will, my need to have a mohawk disappear. What is what, how much what is going to affect this look this watch this need to have her by my side. To those that got into all those things and decided along the way. Maybe your still a "punk rock bride" maybe you just aren’t "my punk rock bride". I’ve seen the group of you you know milling abut. Waiting for me to ask or thinking it’s your secret fantasy, no Idea that it was affecting your looks. I hope you had fun. I don’t think much of it was fake so you should be alright. I know I thought you where all beautiful, in your own way. I wonder though, was your dream really to fall off the wagon that far. Maybe you met some else. Maybe their look hasn’t come out yet.

I need to go back to my roots though, to find the special me. Here’s something few people know. I’ve never come onto a woman I had any intentions of going out with. The smoosh is a huge turn off for me. It’s like, I don’t know spitting on my grave and watching someone else urinate on it latter when they go home.

So you see as the world enters my total control. Fuck stop at rule, what a duffus. Then I’ll have to command more and more of it till… You’ll wonder did he spit on my toothbrush, the sinks clean.

I’m pondering what is the friendship factor on all this. In this new plan what whereing world. Is there a look, or sub-look catagorie for those that I hang out with. I’m not a big friend person. It comes from being low income, people who like you want to give you stuff, but they can’t communicate well because of lousy upbringings so they mime a dollar here or there. It’s quite disgusting.

No that’s the truth, I’m not a big friend person. Their pointless. I love hanging out. Same people at the mall, or what ever you call a mall, but hanging out, sipping tea, sure that sort of thing. Friends, though, I don’t know I think I’ll be friends with the wife for about five years or so first. Their just icky.

Of course financially people from low incomes have to work together.

I think that is why me and the woman want each other so much, we really don’t get the friend thing. And when you don’t get it, the only fun around people is hanging around. The only thing necessary about making friends with your loved one is the physical contact. And there your so close that you’d wan the person to die, if you broke up.

Friends sell out. It’s a fact of life. Their just not close enough for me, to give a fuck about them. If they don’t have cool long turn buddies. They are screwed. That’s not just me, people sell out ever day. It’s how we have albums and stuff.

Of course with inflation. There no reason to believe that albums or any of that will continue to be produced that way.

I’ve been God, now I’m going to be what God is.

You Know It’s Funny.

What happens when you die. Well, what happens when you die is simple. Your dead. No ray of light, calling for the end, no, finish line. The end is the end.

That would be in one of those worlds if the world could be like I wanted it to be. Instead though, you can have a lot of options or you can go to hell. Now the lot of options, they include, being born again. Me deciding what the right place and time for you are. Having your hair done in a salon and then, "getting back in there." Meeting your maker. Me placing you in a time tunnel where you keep walking forward, till you finally get to go to hell.

This ones not done too much anymore, but having your body exhumed. It means that basically you start with a first cut and then your body is harmed over and over again till your finally ready to go back to living where I rule and command etc. Over where you thought you lived. This is only done for people I would care to hear from again. Like I said it’s rare.

Oh yeah and then there is the cock sucker, now she’s my wife and I hate to talk about her this way, but she dies, almost every night, hopefully. This corpse is then carried up to the stars where we make love for hours. It’s quite silly though.

I Must Speak Economically, I Think People Can Here My Writing

Well, the economy could use a mention. I’ve gone on about everything else. A, I should mention that I love money. Love it, coolest concept ever. Do I like the way things are no. I thought AIDS would be enough. The city I’m in, is about 90% AIDS most days.

Anyway, I thought I’d give a shout out to those that own shops and stuff, you know cool people. Here’s your shout, prices have gone way down, what’s the hold up.

Anyway, like I said before, we got your AIDS. We got your NAS, we Got your ATM and we got your bubonica.

So I would like to direct these comments to those that might like to restart such a stupid economy where… All the prices go up and new things are over priced to the point of madness. There really is no way to express my hatetredd for what has been tried to be done to my money. But I’ll try.

I’ve been trying this whole time. I mean like, I’m not going to try harder than I do with anything else. If I like what your doing with your money. Good things will happen to you. If I don’t you die.

It’s the same with all those things. Enchantment, death, bonds of marriage, and Money. If you fuck with them you will die. Does that mean free loonies and twoonies are bad. No way. Make love to it. Maybe your enchantments got all caught up in your money and you thought death missed while you was falling in love.

What is the what of the economy. The what of the economy is the same as the who, and everything else everybody tried to do. For one those that would have tried to kill us during anarchy end up owning a few shops in the end. It’s really quite funny. You’ve heard of having the fight knocked out of you. These guys take it to the extreme. I mean even tiny guys are walking by and giggling. But the cool girls go, "fuck don’t wake him up. Sit the fuck down over there."

So basically money is not being treated like money. It’s a shame really money rocks. I love fucken money. But if you try and make it something that I don’t rule. It will do things to your mind. You’ll fuck your kids, that dog over there will start to look good. Till finally I rule you. Now I rule you anyway. But I mean crazy motron. I fucken rule you. Do you think that will make you take the prices down, fuck no.

Quite the opposite. You’ll continue to put prices up. You start and finishs doing things that are different form country to country. Non good. All evil.

Anyway that is it for now, anything good to say to anybody about money. Get rid of the middle man. Fuck the pocket and the time card and all that shit. Do what you will with it, what my spirit tells you. Remember it connects with all the other things though. The whole fucken universe.

Remember then that that means I rule it. Is it the only thing ruling you. Well if it is you’ve got something. Either class, or AIDS, either grace, or style. Oh did I mention that. Money is very masculine. Money is I rule you right to it’s very fiber. It contains the law of this universe was not created for you but for me. It’s true it’s raw.

From it’s very nature money was formed to give the economic universe a grip on what I am. What I stand for, and what life is all about. You see an old person who just won a bunch of money and they seem happy. They’re embarrassed.

But it’s there winding in your very skull what makes money different. I’m going to tell you what I know for sure. Money can be from the beginning or from the ending. In the beginning. I don’t give a fuck couldn’t give a fuck. Everybody but me could die and I wouldn’t give a shit. The whole universe is just something to try out to see you know, if it would work. Something not made of self. Not me, made from a part of me, but not me.

I forged that fucker. That thing is set up so that assholes make themselves look like assholes. Right fucken clear. And non-assholes well they do as good as times dictate they do.

Maybe you think that’s broke, maybe you think so new technology has come along to end all that.

How rich are you when your lying in a hospital with AIDS. Dying, then it’s your son’s fault. He has to deal with it.

Forged. And then, at the end, how far away is that you might ask. Heh heh. It sits rewarding everybody that’s been good, everybody that ever did anything to help me, and of course burns in hell anybody who tried to fuck with my marriage, my life. The people at an ends life etc.

If your into the flow like I was talking about earlier, you might ask yourself, how does this affect that. If you have to ask that your probably someone who is not going to be around till the end. A mean you take getting paid for something. You take the money you get and you by food. Everything is affected by money, and as that flow is a very big part of money. Mine and her flow all wrapped in their together.

So economically speaking a person could make a cleaning right now or they could end up I don’t know. Milking a camel in Africa to get hash they could buy from a stereo-typical poor kid in Nouveu Brunswick.

So why don’t I worry. I don’t worry because just like God had a plan for me now he has a what.

My Music And Why It Sucks

I cracked a joke about my music being from an alien ship once and everyone believed me. I have to laugh, most of my music is from to coin a better phrase angels.

They don’t really exist. Once in a while I’ll open up a moon or a planet that doesn’t really stay there and then I’ll get an album here on earth.

Now a days I just sit there or walk there and the stuff is there. Mostly I don’t bother lately. People don’t take it seriously. It’s gothic. Don’t fuck with it. You know that sort of thing. Then they write extra rules especially for me.

I’m starting to get side tracked in this book and I’ll tell you why. Naw this is about what. What am I. A friend hater. No, but have I had people who in some distant realm I considered my friends sure. And they sold out. And do you know why because they refused to move to the right city. I think they are stupid.

Maybe when I’m all done with this universe and it’s all over I’ll make a list of my friends. I bet it will be a long list. More than I can individually mention.

What, I’m trying to say is I didn’t wan them, they came along. I think that’s cool. I’m just not as freak out over as when I was young. I mean those guys from way long ago where cool too. So what is the difference. I’m alive. Your living. I’m hanging with an entirely different species. Much less than the animal kingdom. It’s true. Outside the zoo, animals are the coolest nicest people you want meet.

Economically I know I have a very/sort-a rich person hanging around me lately. I wish she’d go away. I’m sick of it. It’s like watching something tell you over and over again they are the boss. I’m God fuck-nut. If there are enough couples out there that fight over who’s the boss. You would think someone who wants the guy to be the boss would wake up. I mean fuck dude. We’re not asking everone wo become super knowledge religio-spiritual persons here. But I am asking for a little sense when it comes to who, you are compared to who I am.

No I wouldn’t. You are too out dated. Living in some sort-a past where, the "poe" want to hang out with the rich…."if only they’d let us.

Fuck, we all know your out for something. Like cartoon virgins strutting around with there screwed in the middle loonies hanging from their waste. Dankling from their crotch.

You decided to get rich while Christ almost died. "We, decided to get lives get our shit together."

The first thing I’d want from anyone with an over $30,000 a year income these days would be an AIDS test.

Truthfully you just too different, what you hold dearly. Sometimes for the Universe I think.

What am I.

What Is My Look

My look, is that of an almost punk, an almost successful business man, a Poor punk who couldn’t afford the patches. A guy who spends all his time worry about himself. I’m a hair freak. I actually have very classic features. I look sort of european form a distance, female. I can look different and truthfully I came as fire.

I can change what I am, but I’m not really into this changing to the point of harming myself. I mean it sucks I finally get a look and it’s burnt right the fuck out of me.

Well here is the secret truth. I get better, all the time. I get better looking. I get stronger. I get mightier. I get quicker with the miracles.

I guess my what is all about becoming God the whole freaking thing, right here on earth.

What To Do Till When.

What to due till when. Well I’m hoping everything will be okay. Right now there are so many changes out there that I’m unsure as to any political statement I’d make. Finacially it means that once again people are trying to build some sort of God machine that will let them know what they each think of each other after they get together to make decisions about how I should live my life.

Evil there is no other way to describe this than evil. I’ve never seen it done so stupidly or callously. But there it is almost every countries dream of a world ruled by God with cool people on the top taken away by stereo-typical images of the top being about money and how much of it you have.

Absolutely stupid. So I guess I see who goes for it over the next few years.

What do I do till when, I’ll tell you. Hopefully live the most fucked up magical miracle mystifying, timely experience, fun time of my life. Same as I’ve done my whole life.

That’s what I’m hoping to do. I’m just not freaking myself out anymore. I used to you know have a fun time all the time. But now everything is about death, and about p[rotecting myself. Not to mention the Nerds who keep going on about anything different like it’s the their personal earth.

Fuck what I’d like to see during the what is the end of science. The end of anybody but me making decisions about human life.

I’d like to see myself improve in my public performance, truly though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this alone.

I just fucken hate them. I mean you come out and your hanging around and then I’m being nagged like a fucken fourteen year old.

I’m as old as a person could be. There is no older. Superman old. Nagged.

Anyway. I’d also lke to see any mistakes in this book taken away. Any of that make it up to you make your life worst now crap. Any of that I’m the boss your not crap. Any of the assholes who want to hold me back.

Miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle, miracle.

Miracle, super right, etc.

I hope to blow my fucken socks off. I really do. I mean it. If the Late eighties had cool miracles. Then I hope this city is going to have some really cool shit. The thing it could work on, In the future, is timing.

Let’s say fuck all those other countries and places till we get Saint John the way we like it. If I’m powerful enough then I’m gong to do it because truthfully. This city is too money driven for anybody to give a fuck about it. If you think I’m going to steal or involve myself in some sort of "Gay pride" movie about how I should be or how it should have been. You are stuck so far in the past, I don’t know if this city can put up with you.

Get the fuck out. Leave, be gone. Never come back. See you never. Bye bye, the finger. Get the fuck out of here you mind reading peace of crap. Bye bye.

On a lighter note. I’m predicting weather of storms, and weather that is so funnily fair, no one should ever have to worry about me again.

What Am I.

Well, I don’t know what I’m missing. I feel like I have way more time on my hands than I used to. I feel like half the world hates me and the other half would kill for me. I feel like a sinner a saint. I feel like Brian Robichaud. And being Brian robichaud ain’t good enough. I feel like I’m going to do something so important at the end of this who, Which I’ve been through, what, when, where, continuum that will make up for my life. I feel that life before then is going to be off and on so artificial that I might fall in love with it. I think I know a world where real life is better.

I know the past few days I’ve felt like it would end. Like I’m doing great and someone is going to rip that away from me.

I feel like there is a part of me that has planned such stupid things for me that it had no idea what it would be like to be human. I hate it. I wouldn’t be human again, not ever. I love who I am. I enjoy it.

I’ve heard a lot of people got healed during the wring of this book and I hope that is true. I just hope people don’t think that that healing is going to stop because I start writing. I’m going to live in this book soon. A little at a time, till I’m all the way there. Why not join me. We’re all gong to be in it. From your self, your loved one and the shit you flush down the toilet. Why not embrace it. Why not make your life a part of my plan for you.

I came across this guy in Montreal. I’d been walking and no one had offered to buy me a sandwich or a slice of pizza nothing. I thought every body wanted me to just die. I can’t do that.

I went up to this guy and I said, "hey guess what I’m offering?" He paused and looked at me with real interest. "Eternal life." I said.

He looked at me real serous like he wanted to hear more, like he was interested for the first time in what I was saying.

You know what I saw. Just a rich fuck with too much time on his hands and not a clue what life in the real world was like.

What an ass, stalking a poor man or God, just so he could feel all bad about himself and do another line up in some bathroom stall.

Why don’t they shoot guys like that I thought. Actually, my mind wen to work on what I would do to him, and anyone like him. The associate stupid with not bowing down to them. All dopers do. It’s there thing. They’re evil. Stupid and evil.

I hope is this world is finished back in the end. That we look back and can say. These are the people that tried. Those are the people who stood in their own way.

I love myself too much to write down the rest of what I think on the subject. You’ll have to get that from the air, the extra’s.

Speaking Yeeyoh

Speaking Yeeyoh. I’m here thinking about what life must have been like before I existed again. I was talking God and I thought that was great and everything and it occuered to me to speak yeeyoh. Why ot speak yeeyoh over and over again. That would be fun. Do you think people would understand me after a while. I think it would. I could just speak my language over and over again. Till I no longer was speakng anything that I would care for anybody to understand.

Then it occurred to me. While thinking about what it would be like to go around and talk this language no one understood. I think It would make for a fun day. They could try and hear what I’m trying to say over and over again. That way, I might be able to get somethings done, without everybody laughing at the same time to. I wonder how they get things done.

On a personal note. I hope charonazone, let’s my wife get though, amoungst other people. I think it’s sad that we can’t do the eyeball thing sooner. I think I thrust my self at home, but I’d like to be able to go to sleep knowing she’s okay. And that is not easy to do, in this city.

I once made a joke about I wondered if charonazone was my wife. We shared some laughs back in the day. Now charonazone seems more like a recurring character. Once we transition the "super wank" chicks in the time of the marriage together should be okay. I wonder if the charonazones of the outside world feel they are not recurring. Because in Todays world they must surely be out there.

I hear that things are going well. I wonder if charonezone is trying to include. Me I’d stay here for ever. Make my wife the only person aloud and create wanker chicks for me. I’m sure there are enough men for her to see.

There’re could be some protection from her screwing around after say 1993. I know she’s hard to see because of the fact that we are little hamsters in cages but his will all change eventually.

I wonder does anybody do any good up here. Is my wife just a collection of thoughts and ideas I had before creation?

I think that is possible, but in order for there to be any consistency. The person would have to have a history. Either a very Good one. That I might enjoy, in the long term, to listen to. Or one made up, like that Dawn Chick in that buffy show.

And that is that we go back to speaking our Yeeyohic language. The kind we like to say with little reminders and ear pieces that don’t fuck with the sound today.

The land of real music.

There seems to be some deep problems with some of the things I’ve said so far. Like about friends and everything. If you know anything about the world you know that I don’t make friends very lightly. You might think I do when I run into someone I haven’t seen for a long time. Funny isn’t it.

Here’s the deal. We’re about fifteen years away from the end of what I’ve set out to do. To make man.

I know this sounds weird. But the world is different. Look out your window. Breathe the air. I’m sure if I could have done that before, I sure the fuck would have. Peoples problems becoming simpler. I’m pretty sure I’m doing that too.

You want a good tip to being my friend, to making it to the end. Stop trying to play God. It’s stupid and your going to die before the end of this for doing that.

As I make friends rarely, and truthfully my card is pretty much fun. You should know I’m a spy. People have me down on their most wanted list, as Brian, but not as God. I want that changed, and I need it changed yesterday.

I don’t make friends easily. It’s just a thing. I don’t feel I’m desperate. Truthfully I’d say, that I have just about all the friends I need. All I need really though is to meet with this woman of my dreams. Part of why I say wait… is like I say about forty countries think it’s fun and funny to crucify God’s body in order to make him give up on helping humans.

It’s not that I want them to make it stop. I’m going to make them stop. They don’t control me and they don’t rule you. You should never let them get the best of you. I do rule. Maybe you’ll see me down on my luck, Or taken aback from a situation. Remember while your waying what I know or who I am as a person. I’m an Agent of God more than anything else. It’s getting very close to the end of this thing I call a life. People shouldn’t be testing my patients. Asking for miracles like there some form of performance art. Demanding I stop demanding I go. Not asking put forcing me to stay.

I’m God not something to be pushed around. Fancy push or otherwise. Don’t ask idiots for advice.

The only change you can sense on me is her. When next I’m with a woman, you better not be judging her as well. Either. Because there are many religions based on this woman and me.

I wont hesatate. You think ‘d let a single one of my friends tell me weather I’m with the right chick or not. You’ve got to be fucken kidding. My God man, my friends so far couldn’t tell they if they were with the right person… If they were form planet zortoast.

The guy at the mall, the man at the counter. Oh my fuck grow up. The function of humanity is to please me. You might not see it. When your fucking your wife. When it’s all going down. Right there in the corner.

Like little girly men with little girly pride.

No talking, How many people still alive today hate the rich. I mean it, how many people here today hate the rich because of what they’ve done to God. How many people here hate the rich because of what they’ve done to a loved one. How many people here hate the rich for what they’ve done to them. How many people just want them dead.

How many people know that it’s their governments that let it happen. How many people care about me more than their Governments. How many people don’t want that to happen to God anymore. How many people don’t want that to happen to loved ones anymore. How many people don’t want to happen to themselves anymore.

For the sake of sanity, Shut the fuck up rich people shut the fuck up. I’m going to need some time. I’m gong to take a minute. I’m going to be "Far from okay." I’m going to make it my personal revenge to have my "fun" with the new rich, the rich, the soon to be rich, and the dead to be rich.

You’ve been living in a dream world, "Neo,"

I Thin everybody in the world knows I’ve turned you down. Maybe I should turn that up a little louder. I fucken hate the Rich. I think they are knobs. And the people growing up today who wan to be rich are worst because they already know what they are like.

On lighter note, if you like great music and enjoy hanging out without giving a fuck about how it is all done. Then please feel free to hang.

Who?___________

What?__________

When?__________

Where?__________

Endlessly. These are the things that I am going to change. Now considering I’ve been telling the man to "fuck off" since about the age of "8". I’ll have to consider it a given that they "know" I won’t "sign up and give up on my Islamic brothers"

Oh Yeah.

My wife’s name is Why. You know like in "Why the fuck" I bothered creating this universe to begin with. That sort of thing.

What and Why hanging out together. I guess I did do something’s out of order.

Another thing that should happen early on in this book is, all the Gangs should get off my turf. Fancy Gangs included.

What up with day?

This might be my last chance, to come up with anything I’m real grumpy about. I’ll be eating different food soon. So here it goes. I hate….etc. I hate….. etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

Hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc. I hate….etc.

I like never seeing or finding out about anything I hate. Leave that in the past.

Here’s my favorite way to live. What I do to get there is my business. Life should require only three miracles. Light, sound and size.

After that I should be using my miracles just for my amazing amusement and fuck those that would have it different.

Well as I exit this time in my life. You should know that I’m okay. Are you okay. You don’t look so good. What’s the matter. Do you want to rest. Is there anything I could do to help you. Are you in need of a bigger power than I could provide.

Please I’m so sorry, thre just isn’t room for you. If only I could change that. No I’m so sorry. You see we are too much alike and one of us must go. That one is you.

Well have to measure it to the micro second to see which one of you went first. If only I could find a way to tell. Maybe you found God along the way.

‘I’m real sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m real sorry I wasn’t everything you were hoping I would be.

See you latter. Loved the part about you being on a mission for God. How’d that go for you. Sorry it didn’t work out. You’ve increased the amount of your annoyance in disproportion to your value as a citizen.

Too bad all functions have changed. There really is no need for you to try any longer. Your value as a citizen has been demenoused.

Oh yeah we got to give a shout out to my hate of there recently not rich. I think I hate them more than the ones holding onto their money for them. There so old so bold. They are down right cold. I care about them. How when are they gone. Who’s going to get that day because of them. I Love the way they die. Right out in the open like that. Oh how they cling. Like God gave them a secret mission. They lost their mind. Maybe they thought their mockasins were mine. Maybe I should kill them right quick. Right slow. I’m sure I’ll do it a lot of ways.

When your helping me with all that. Be sure not to ZZZZZZZZWWWWWWWQQQQQQQQQLLLLLLLKKKKKKAAEEIIOOUU.

The man keeps telling me about "y" and "w". Must have been a myth of, "the man."

It’s Like an Insult "She’s" not more horney!