Chapter 5: The Island of Misfit Toys and Adjusting to Woman Hood!

Edmundo grasped his breasts as he…or she…maybe shim…stared at them in fear for a while.

Edmundo: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! *He grabs his crotch area* MY PEE PEE!

Courtney: * holds in laughter and speaks in a “concerned” tone * Oh my g-goodness…. * Snicker * what has happened to you?!

Edmundo: I’VE BECOME A WENCH! …With….oh so beautiful breasts….oooooh…* He drools and caresses them lovingly*

Courtney: Well… erm… you’re not a King anymore though, a Queen… and you seem happy with your breasts… but now that you are kinda Queen-like… that means you need to marry a MAN now!

THE AUDIENCE GASPS!

Edmundo: WHAT?!

Courtney: * crosses arms and smiles wickedly * You heard me right… oh…I’m sure that you’d love to be married with a man and all. Like Pana or—

Edmundo: NOOOO! I MUST RID MYSELF OF THIS CURSE AND REGROW MY PENIS AND BECOME THE JORE I ONCE WAS!!

Courtney: Yea… well… that’ll be hard to do ya know!

Edmundo: What do you mean?

Courtney: Well you have to look for the …erm… herb. YEA! That’s right!

Edmundo: What herb? And where is it?! * she looks at her boobs and tries to make them jiggle and dance hands free! *

Courtney: It’s at… uh…..DRAGON’S ASS PEAK!

Edmundo: OH MY GAWD! THAT PLACE IS DANGEROUS!

Courtney: Yea, but if you miss being a male…

Edmundo: Can you get it for me?

Courtney: HAHAHAHA—no…

Edmundo: * Tears flood her eyes as her lip quivers * YOU DOO—OH GAWD I HURT! * she falls over and curls up into fetal position with her hands on her abdomen. *

MEAN WHILE ON THE YARFACED BEAUTY… THE NOTORIOUS PIRATES MANAGE TO REACH THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS! YAY!

Andy: YARRR! WE BE HERE!

Adrienne: WOOT WOOT! WE ACTUALLY MADE IT! SKJFDHAKJFYJKSDHG OMG OMG! WHATS THAT?!

Andy jumps and looks ahead to see what Adrienne was shouting about… and found that it was a small nutcracker in the middle of the water, floating.

Andy: * gut laughs * HAR HAR HAR! Tis nothing my lovely lass! Only a nutcracker!

Adrienne: Something tells me it’s not a nice nutcracker though…

Andy: Tis only a toy! It wont do anyth—

Just as Andy was about to finish his sentence, the boat is bitten in half by the now super scary and monstrous nutcracker that had magically grown to a large size!

Nutcracker: SO Y’ALL WANNA NUT TA EAT EH?! I’LL CRACK SOME OF YOUR MEN’S NUTS TO MAKE A DELICIOUS TREAT! @_@

Andy: * Andy looks up at the huge nutcracker in horror, along with all the other male crewmembers * HOLY FUCK POTS! YOU WERE RIGHT LASS! ARRR O_O! HOW THE HELL ARE WE TO FIGHT THIS THING?!

Adrienne: The way we always fight! * she uppercuts the air * UPPERCUT IT TO DEATH!

Andy: OF COURSE! * Also uppercuts * LET’S GO ME CREW! FOR BEER AND BOOTY! … And my nuts…

BACK AT THE KINGDOM! WHOOSH!

Edmundo is on the floor, twitching as blood soaks her pants.

Edmundo: What is happening?! Uuuugh…

Courtney: Well, aren’t you lucky! You’re having a period!

Edmundo: Pain… hurts… so… bad… * suddenly… HER EYES TURN RED! * Hate… all… living… things… ESPECIALLY THINGS WITH NUTS ALKSHDFKJSYJFHA * FOAMS * OMGWTF?! YOU ALL WILL DIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Courtney: * Backs away * Oh no… it’s… * smirks * PMS!!

Edmundo: * leaps up with blood leaking all over the place and glares at Courtney * YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU WILL DAI CUZ I HATE EVERYTHING NOW EVEN WOMEN BECAUSE I THINK THAT THEY’LL STE ALL MY SEXINESS AND MY MAN!

Courtney: AHHH--… wait… your man? O_O

Edmundo: RRRAGHH! * LEAPS AT COURTNEY AND THE BATTLE BEGINS! But now… *

BACK WITH THE PIRATES!

Andy and Adrienne stand triumphal on the uppercutted Nutcracker, however, a 1/3 of their crew was dead… the living had crushed nuts. The only fortunate man was Andy, obviously.

Andy: WE SHOWED THIS FUKKA! ARRR!

Adrienne: YEA! …But all that’s left of the boat is that lil’ raft… WAIT! Oh my gawd… I gots an idea!

Andy: Ye do? What it be lass?

Adrienne: WE CAN USE THE NUT CRACKER TO REBUILD OUR SHIP! And I’m sure there are other wooden things around this place!

Andy: YAR! GREAT! Let us haul this Nutcracker to the island! MY NOW NUTLESS CREW! HEAVE IT! NOW!

The nutless men scree like little school girls and start to haul the nutcracker back to the island while Andy and Adrienne stood on the Nutcracker’s head, posing.

AND NOW, AFTER THAT LIL THINGY, WE GO BACK TO THE CASTLE!

Courtney flies through a stone wall and into the kitchen as the PMS infected Edmundo rampaged in the castle halls, running about as her gigantic boobs bitched slapped herself in the face.. Courtney has never felt this much fear… nor has she ever seen anyone’s PMS powers this potent. She knew it was time to unleash her own power of the bitches.

Courtney: I WILL SET YOU IN YOUR PLACE! * She gets into Crane Style and starts grunting * UUURGH….HHHHHHHHHHHNNNUUUUGHHH!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! * BLAM! *

A BURST OF BLOOD SENDS EDMUNDO FLYING BACK, STUNNED! And now…Courtney has started her period, and is PMSing too… and now the real battle begins!

Courtney: YOU FUCKING ASS LICKER TICKER FLICKER! I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING CALM DOWN! NOW YOU WILL MEET YOUR BLOODY AND PMSY DOOM!

THEN EVERYTHING PAUSES….

Who will win?! Will Courtney get Edmundo to calm down and then calm herself?! Will the pirates finish building their ship soon and actually eat something?! Will Edmundo find a man to love forever?! WE WILL SEE NEXT TIME ON FOX KIDS! DAHDHADAHDADADANANANA!!! * closing theme plays! *

END OF CHAPTER 5