June 10, 2008
The best part of my drive each day is observing the ever-rising flood waters of the rivers I cross on my way to IL each day. However, the one is now eerily close to actually going over the bridge, and although I suspect my Ford Escort can float, I'm just not sure. As such, I will now be taking a life preserver in my car on the way to work. Today at work some lady told me that a neighbor "gangstafied" her cigarettes. Now, maybe I'm just out of touch with the hip world of poor white people, but I've never heard that phrase before. Apparently it meant that her neighbor wanted to steal a pack of cigarettes. Luckily, she had a baseball bat to fend her off. We get some real nutcases coming in each day. I am now officially negotiating with criminals although I can't yet practice law. I make the offer, and then they say yes or no. If they say no, I tell them that I'm coming down on them with the full authority of the State's Attorney's Office for the great state of IL. After that they take the deal! The video today is a pretty solid representation of the driving skills that most people in Iowa have. I'm fairly sure you don't even have to have a license in Iowa to drive. In addition to driving very badly there is a few other strange things about Iowans, their driving, and their cars. First, they love writing on the windows of their cars. They'll write things like: Congrats Britney!!! Happy Sweat 16!!! (note spelling error) Tiffin Rules - Go East Western Liberty JV Football!! (3/5 of all towns in Iowa have the wordLiberty somewhere in the name) Just Marreed!!! (note misspelling) Second, they often drive around without license plates. They don't even, USUALLY, have temporary tags or anything at all to indicate the car is street legal. They just don't have plates and drive around the city w/out any worry of being pulled over. Finally, they drive tractors on the street way too much. At least in the morning when I'm trying to get to work. I have added multiple links to my refurbished forum. Just click on a link and then begin entering whatever comments you may have regarding today's current entry or anything else that is on your mind. You can click on any of the THREE new buttons I have provided that say 'Forum' on them to access the forum! Post now or you're supporting the terrorists! FLOOOOOOOD! The water that inhabits the Iowa River has risen dramatically the past few days and now flows over it's mighty banks. I can only assume it's after me, since I feel the water is quite aware of the fear I have of it. I've since a young age I was meant to die in one of two ways. Either old age, or DROWNING! My concern has always been that the water knows this as well and may someday seek me out, well, that time appears to be now. Or maybe not, maybe it's just rained too much the last few days. Who knows for sure. The weather in this awful state is just horrendous. There is no such thing as Spring. It just goes from Winter, to the "Rainy Season" to super-humid Summer. It's nothing to brag about, and the bugs that engulf this quiet little town make it all the harder to appreciate just how quaint and nice it could be IF, ANYONE IN THIS GODDAMNED STATE COULD DRIVER A CAR!!!! I know I have said this one-thousand times before, but I swear to god that this state was founded just so that the worst drivers in the world would have a place to go to ignore all traffic laws, traffic signals, and any other traffic device that they could find to ignore. I have lived in IL for about two years now, and I've maybe come close to being hit once. (And that was by an OLD person, and as we all know, they can hit you at any time and any place - it's not state specific) However, in Iowa, I literally almost get into an accident twice a day. Today, for instance, some kid just turned left into oncoming traffic for no other reason that I can figure out other than he needed to go left, and as such, why bother to look STRAIGHT AHEAD of you to see if other cars are going through the green light. The second accident almost occurred as I went to go left to cross highway six, and get to the street I live on. The car sitting in the divided decided that they had no reason to wait for me to pass and instead just hit the gas and almost hit me. That's a typical day driving in Iowa City. Oh, and don't forget the fact that in Iowa City you can continue through a red as long as you are close enough to see red, and that four way stops mean "FREE FOR ALL" and whoever goes first, wins. My Life in Illinois, where I live, what I eat, and how I dress! I live in this wonderful apartment complex while attending school in lovely Urbana, IL(Click Here To See My Apartment - I live right above Michelle) , eat the finest of foods (Click Here To See What RonnieDigital is having for Dinner Tonight), and wear the most fashionable clothing around (see below for my custom t-shirts, and YOU TOO can wear fine clothing.)

June 10, 2008

The best part of my drive each day is observing the ever-rising flood waters of the rivers I cross on my way to IL each day. However, the one is now eerily close to actually going over the bridge, and although I suspect my Ford Escort can float, I'm just not sure. As such, I will now be taking a life preserver in my car on the way to work.

Today at work some lady told me that a neighbor "gangstafied" her cigarettes. Now, maybe I'm just out of touch with the hip world of poor white people, but I've never heard that phrase before. Apparently it meant that her neighbor wanted to steal a pack of cigarettes. Luckily, she had a baseball bat to fend her off. We get some real nutcases coming in each day.

I am now officially negotiating with criminals although I can't yet practice law. I make the offer, and then they say yes or no. If they say no, I tell them that I'm coming down on them with the full authority of the State's Attorney's Office for the great state of IL.

After that they take the deal!

The video today is a pretty solid representation of the driving skills that most people in Iowa have. I'm fairly sure you don't even have to have a license in Iowa to drive. In addition to driving very badly there is a few other strange things about Iowans, their driving, and their cars.

First, they love writing on the windows of their cars. They'll write things like:

Congrats Britney!!! Happy Sweat 16!!! (note spelling error)
Tiffin Rules - Go East Western Liberty JV Football!! (3/5 of all towns in Iowa have the wordLiberty somewhere in the name)

Just Marreed!!! (note misspelling)

Second, they often drive around without license plates. They don't even, USUALLY, have temporary tags or anything at all to indicate the car is street legal. They just don't have plates and drive around the city w/out any worry of being pulled over.

Finally, they drive tractors on the street way too much. At least in the morning when I'm trying to get to work.

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I have added multiple links to my refurbished forum. Just click on a link and then begin entering whatever comments you may have regarding today's current entry or anything else that is on your mind. You can click on any of the THREE new buttons I have provided that say 'Forum' on them to access the forum! Post now or you're supporting the terrorists!

FLOOOOOOOD! The water that inhabits the Iowa River has risen dramatically the past few days and now flows over it's mighty banks. I can only assume it's after me, since I feel the water is quite aware of the fear I have of it.

I've since a young age I was meant to die in one of two ways. Either old age, or DROWNING! My concern has always been that the water knows this as well and may someday seek me out, well, that time appears to be now. Or maybe not, maybe it's just rained too much the last few days. Who knows for sure.

The weather in this awful state is just horrendous. There is no such thing as Spring. It just goes from Winter, to the "Rainy Season" to super-humid Summer. It's nothing to brag about, and the bugs that engulf this quiet little town make it all the harder to appreciate just how quaint and nice it could be IF,

ANYONE IN THIS GODDAMNED STATE COULD DRIVER A CAR!!!!

I know I have said this one-thousand times before, but I swear to god that this state was founded just so that the worst drivers in the world would have a place to go to ignore all traffic laws, traffic signals, and any other traffic device that they could find to ignore. I have lived in IL for about two years now, and I've maybe come close to being hit once. (And that was by an OLD person, and as we all know, they can hit you at any time and any place - it's not state specific) However, in Iowa, I literally almost get into an accident twice a day.

Today, for instance, some kid just turned left into oncoming traffic for no other reason that I can figure out other than he needed to go left, and as such, why bother to look STRAIGHT AHEAD of you to see if other cars are going through the green light. The second accident almost occurred as I went to go left to cross highway six, and get to the street I live on. The car sitting in the divided decided that they had no reason to wait for me to pass and instead just hit the gas and almost hit me. That's a typical day driving in Iowa City.

Oh, and don't forget the fact that in Iowa City you can continue through a red as long as you are close enough to see red, and that four way stops mean "FREE FOR ALL" and whoever goes first, wins.

My Life in Illinois, where I live, what I eat, and how I dress!
I live in this wonderful apartment complex while attending school in lovely Urbana, IL(Click Here To See My Apartment - I live right above Michelle) , eat the finest of foods (Click Here To See What RonnieDigital is having for Dinner Tonight), and wear the most fashionable clothing around (see below for my custom t-shirts, and YOU TOO can wear fine clothing.)